The Director Welcomes You

Hockey Arena, Oven, Toothbrush, Spy.

#c09628

Location

Windless, Cloudy Serbia

Time of Day

22:48

Extraction Point

48 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside descend into Deserted Chateau . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Mad Owl" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Wizard's Scar". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Fluffy Condom hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Beau Doyle

Alias

"Mad Owl"

Features

5' 7"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Commission of Feisty Toothbrush

Emotions

Love

Personality

Freely Curved

Motive

Make a lot of money for a love interest

Bodyguard

Al the "Bitter Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Unkempt Carnival

Touristy Sanctuary

Dark Reef

Random Events

Amulet Becomes wounded

Spectator screams at the top of their lungs

Bag of Flour Salutes the adventurers

Pickpocket chase a suspect

World

Stores

Adeline's File Logistics

Hardy's Butter Churner Solutions

Adkins's Coat of Arms Closet

Park's Footlocker Cosmetics

Traps

Collapsing Column

Falling Block of Influence

Objects

File made of heavy metal

Coat of Arms with a False bottom

Secret Butter Churner

Hidden Crossbow

Notebook of Influence

Wand of Wonder

Nearest wizard is unable to cast magic upon himself

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Madison Hardy "Three Lemons" Merchant Soccer Honey
Madelyn Adkins "Fat Churros" Mole Doves Sailboats
Kayla Taylor Spirit Limes Basketball
Adeline King Annoyed Baseball Painting
Nathan Park Restless Paper Children's Stories

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).