The Director Welcomes You

The Machine Oblivion Protocol

#dd117b

Location

Chilly, Icy Tanzania

Time of Day

14:17

Extraction Point

49 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Isabella Jordan has gone missing and we believe "Right Zombie" is responsible. They were last seen in Tanzania at 07:00. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Ghost Town". Take this Glowing Stapler - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Esther Pratt

Alias

"Right Zombie"

Features

4' 11"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Neck

Organization

The Commission of Defeated Flame

Emotions

Preoccupied

Personality

Yearly Insidious

Motive

Take over a government to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Surly Mermaid"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Facetious Business

Overpopulated Jungle

Optimism Lodge

Random Events

Amulet Is under a curse

Bank Gets their hand chopped off

Procession strikes the ground

Woman Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Amir's Bureau Collective

Holt's Fire poker set Properties

Parsons's Kitchen table Consulting

Jordan's Doorway Consulting

Traps

Bear Trap

Chain Lightning of Oblivion

Objects

Bureau that has been hollowed out

Kitchen table that is glowing

Secret Fire poker set

Hidden Medallion

Chewing Gum of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

Ants appear to swarm on all blades within 50 yards

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Josephine Holt "Meaty Lox" Merchant Sailboats Sharks
Alexander Parsons "Mad Bagels" Mole Dolphins Basketball
Xander Cruz Blacksmith Coffee Glass
Amir Knight Weakened Pillows Flowers
Isabella Jordan Indifferent Flowers Soda

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).