The Director Welcomes You

Mall Royale

#621751

Location

Dry, Arid Jamaica

Time of Day

1:47

Extraction Point

133 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Rylee Castro has gone missing and we believe "Wild giant" is responsible. They were last seen in Jamaica at 21:22. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Snowy garrison". Take this Light Cake - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Theodore Barber

Alias

"Wild giant"

Features

6' 5"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Society of Full Cork

Emotions

Happy

Personality

Rigidly Tiring

Motive

Make a lot of money out of desperation

Bodyguard

James the "Adorable Fairy"

Physical Size

Immense

Story

Additional Locations

The Wailing House

Archaic Acropolis

Excitement Business

Random Events

Dracula Spontaneously disintegrates

Box of Mice Evades the law

Transport Is being detained

Corncob Catches leprosy

World

Stores

Jasmine's Potted Plant Mall

Mclaughlin's Shirt Outlet

Russell's Tea Set Bazaar

Castro's Canopy Bed Industries

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Chain Lightning of Delirium

Objects

Potted Plant with a False bottom

Tea Set children's replica

Secret Shirt

Hidden Bow

Coin of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Target is acutely hungry for 5d6 days, no matter how much he eats

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adalynn Mclaughlin "Plump Throats" Merchant Water Chili
Jeremy Russell "Fast Elbows" Mole Snowglobes Jazz
Bailey Butler Tailor Bracelets Snowglobes
Jasmine Lindsey Graphic Designer Peanut Butter Lamps
Rylee Castro Banker Doves Sharp Things

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).