The Director Welcomes You

The Rigidly Heavy Agent

#f44cca

Location

Warm, Breezy United Arab Emirates

Time of Day

10:11

Extraction Point

30 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "Blue Bull" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for money at the Turtle Rock". We need you to eliminate them, Rigidly. Their last known location was recorded at 00:12. You have a Evil Guitar as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Wyatt Schmidt

Alias

"Blue Bull"

Features

7' 11"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Right thumb

Organization

The Clique of Brutish Plumwine

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Rigidly Clever

Motive

Take over a government to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Donald the "Invisible Chimera"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Heavy Barn Dance

Pitch Black Chateau

Secrecy Spring

Random Events

Leopard Is under a curse

Dancer Gets their hand chopped off

Safe Is throwing a protest

Dracula Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Gael's Letter Opener Collective

Dixon's Sconce Ventures

Chen's Shelf of alcohol Logistics

Franklin's Urn Department store

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Chain Lightning of Indecision

Objects

Letter Opener with a False bottom

Shelf of alcohol that has been hollowed out

Secret Sconce

Hidden Pants

Necklace of Indecision

Wand of Wonder

Target can discern magic items by bleeding on them

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Stella Dixon "Wild Pinky's" Merchant Whipped Cream Cooking
Emma Chen "Fast Tongues" Mole Potatoes Tea
Preston Gross Drummer Snowglobes Honey
Gael Torres Veterinarian Potatoes Ice Cubes
Lillian Franklin Chef Basketball Technology

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).