The Director Welcomes You

Who is Daniel Dragon?

#0cdd37

Location

Rainy, Cloudy Bolivia

Time of Day

4:15

Extraction Point

116 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Ambassadors,
It seems "Bullet Hobgoblin" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a random cow at the Screaming Waterfall". We need you to eliminate them, Jealously. Their last known location was recorded at 14:12. You have a Soft Pencil as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Juan Kramer

Alias

"Bullet Hobgoblin"

Features

7' 7"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Right middle finger

Organization

The Department of Ruminating Bees

Emotions

Absorbed

Personality

Jealously Disruptive

Motive

Disrupt the military out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Hirsute Opossums"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Damaged Lagoon

Deserted Maze

Mania Carousal

Random Events

Spice Box Glistens gently

Butter Shipment Finds gold in the water

Rhapsody Is being tortured

Buccaneer overflows

World

Stores

Maya's Faberge Egg Specialities

Parks's Stool Threads

Edwards's crutch Creative

Welch's Armoir Creative

Traps

Beehive

Tripping Chain of Amnesia

Objects

Faberge Egg that has been hollowed out

crutch made of heavy metal

Secret Stool

Hidden Watch

Cutlass of Amnesia

Wand of Wonder

Next fire-based magic used nearby produces smoke but no fire

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Oscar Parks "Left Pretzels" Merchant Television Comic Books
Taylor Edwards "Tough Lox" Mole Basketball Cooking
Cecilia Rojas Blacksmith Socks Rubber Bands
Maya Mueller Professional Bridesmaid Rabbits Jigsaw Puzzles
Daniela Welch Sad Tea Sponges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).