The Director Welcomes You

The Fifth Virtue Incident

#f9f89a

Location

Balmy, Rainy Sudan, South

Time of Day

11:15

Extraction Point

45 Miles SW

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Investigators,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Pitch Black Spring . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "White Alien" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A vagrant asks for food at the Apple Orchard". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Colorful Audio Cassette hidden on you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Owen Vega

Alias

"White Alien"

Features

4' 5"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Council of Melted Temperature

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Recklessly Refined

Motive

Make a lot of money for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Harold the "Lively Demon"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Long House

Polluted Mansion

Extinction Suburbs

Random Events

Robber arrives in the mail

Gunshot Salutes the adventurers

Butter Shipment Is being detained

Box of Mice skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Nova's Bell Du jour

Salazar's Sculpture Atelier

Nguyen's Candlesticks Convenience store

Santos's Loveseat Hole

Traps

Razor-Wire across Hallway

Suspicious door with lock of Virtue

Objects

Bell that is glowing

Candlesticks made of heavy metal

Secret Sculpture

Hidden Blindfold

Pen of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Target smells rotting flesh everywhere for 1d4 weeks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Tyler Salazar "Black Cappuccinos" Merchant Lions Quartz Crystals
Alexandra Nguyen "Sharp Hands" Mole Hammers Boxes
Cora Watts Athlete Technology Chili
Nova Wood Bruised Bells Video Games
Brantley Santos Demon Cookies Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).