The Director Welcomes You

Cosmetics Royale

#491374

Location

Chilly, Gloomy Togo

Time of Day

3:20

Extraction Point

135 Miles SW

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside descend into Bustling Fortress . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Three Fairy" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Broken Face". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Delicate Barstool hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Grace Padilla

Alias

"Three Fairy"

Features

5' 8"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Right foot

Organization

The Guild of Dank Pastry

Emotions

Insecure

Personality

Rapidly Freezing

Motive

Take over a country to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Tasteless Succubus"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Colossal Carousal

Hidden Grove

Exuberance Castle

Random Events

Tramp Is accused by the law

Procession is loose

Buccaneer Is being kidnapped

Keg chase a suspect

World

Stores

Messiah's Music Box Cosmetics

Garza's Hanging Birdcage Arcade

Jones's Hanging Birdcage Solutions

Ryan's Wardrobe Du jour

Traps

Scything Blade

Earthquake of Animosity

Objects

Music Box that has been hollowed out

Hanging Birdcage that is glowing

Secret Hanging Birdcage

Hidden Medallion

Coif of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

No one within 100 miles trusts caster enough to lend him money

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ryker Garza "Meaty Fingers" Merchant Butterflies Peanut Butter
Jude Jones "Indigo Ribs" Mole Dolphins Cooking
Olivia Cummings Midwife Socks Writers
Messiah Benson Police Officer Shirts Bracelets
Jace Ryan Broker Plushies Broccoli

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).