The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Meaty Tramp

#8914c6

Location

Foggy, Wet Namibia

Time of Day

13:15

Extraction Point

4 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Sleuths,
I have sent you to enter a Rundown Lake to look for a suspect by the name "Short Spirit". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A pool of blood at the hive".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Bulbous Mirror in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gianna Wang

Alias

"Short Spirit"

Features

7' 8"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Bunch of Calm Hole

Emotions

Infatuated

Personality

Patiently Chilly

Motive

Disrupt the military to control the Children

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Thorough Imp"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Meaty Reef

Deserted Forge

Perspiration Lagoon

Random Events

Pickpocket Gets their hand chopped off

Storm Crashes slowly

Demon Catches leprosy

German Trench Club explodes

World

Stores

Ashton's Candlesticks Emporium

Alexander's Picture Frame Bureau

Wolfe's Crate Specialities

Vazquez's Goblet Emporium

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Box of Brown Mold of Perspiration

Objects

Candlesticks children's replica

Crate that has been hollowed out

Secret Picture Frame

Hidden Longsword

Glasses of Perspiration

Wand of Wonder

Target looks like a photo-negative while wielding a weapon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Layla Alexander "Heavy Bones" Merchant Glitter Socks
Rhett Wolfe "Gross Stomachs" Mole Death Trees
Aaron Rhodes Dead Tired Chickens Sticky Notes
Ashton Paul Farmer Horses Bears
Ezra Vazquez Acupuncturist Sharks Dice

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).