The Director Welcomes You

The Handle Stealth Incident

#dc316f

Location

Bright, Warm Poland

Time of Day

21:17

Extraction Point

110 Miles W

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Agents,
We need your help. Agent Grayson Woods has gone missing and we believe "One Gremlin" is responsible. They were last seen in Poland at 00:18. The agent sent one final message – "An out of place door appears at the Great Shadow". Take this Angry Toy - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Abel Rhodes

Alias

"One Gremlin"

Features

6' 8"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Crotch

Organization

The Club of Howling Society

Emotions

Safe

Personality

Quietly Brief

Motive

Take over a government to save humanity

Bodyguard

Billy the "Shitty Leech"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Shitty Shelter

Hidden Villa

Delirium Spring

Random Events

Princess Skips merrily

Nearby Gas Tank Is getting confiscated

Woman Bounces oddly

Jug of Peanut Butter is loose

World

Stores

Genevieve's Drawers Properties

Harmon's Wingback chair Cosmetics

Reese's Skeletal Animal Closet

Woods's Mural Solutions

Traps

Floor Net

Moving Executioner Statue of Stealth

Objects

Drawers children's replica

Skeletal Animal that is glowing

Secret Wingback chair

Hidden Shield

Boomerang of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

For 2d4 rounds, the ground within 50 yards turns to quicksand

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Elias Harmon "Two Pastrami's" Merchant Snowglobes Video Games
Cooper Reese "Three Parmigianas" Mole Balloons Water
Madelyn Harrington Dentist Soup Bread
Genevieve Montgomery Dead Tired Essential Oils Rocks
Grayson Woods Engineer Sponges Paper

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).