The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Long Juice

#eadf26

Location

Arid, Chilly Greece

Time of Day

10:30

Extraction Point

177 Miles SW

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Informants,
It seems "Indigo Horse" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the graveyard". We need you to eliminate them, Intently. Their last known location was recorded at 09:05. You have a Clean Ballpoint Pen as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nicholas Dixon

Alias

"Indigo Horse"

Features

4' 6"

Green eyes

A second belly button / Right eye

Organization

The Committee of Sore Fight

Emotions

Cautious

Personality

Intently Unkempt

Motive

Take over a country out of desperation

Bodyguard

Prince the "Wet Bull"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Long Shelter

Deserted Forge

Darkness Lake

Random Events

Delivery Guy approaches

Gypsy Is frozen into a block of ice

Wanderer Is under a curse

Vegetable Catches leprosy

World

Stores

Jace's crutch Outlet

Garner's Basket Ventures

Lang's Landscape Closet

Andrews's Satchel Specialities

Traps

Floor Net

Black Tentacles of Irritation

Objects

crutch made of heavy metal

Landscape with a False bottom

Secret Basket

Hidden Staff

Gauntlet of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Everyone who knows the caster thinks that he owes them money

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aaliyah Garner "No Lemons" Merchant Lipstick Rubber Stamps
Luca Lang "Plump Ankles" Mole Technology Easter
London Townsend Secretary Teeth Fire
Jace Munoz Librarian Cookies Soup
Sofia Andrews Bruised Candles Jigsaw Puzzles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).