The Director Welcomes You

Technologies Royale

#b61bd5

Location

Windy, Breezy Cambodia

Time of Day

23:36

Extraction Point

195 Miles NE

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Examiners,
I have sent you to descend into Abandoned Island to look for a suspect by the name "Heavy Opossums". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to discover their location. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shadow passes at the Ghost Town".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Explosive Bicycle in your kit to help.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Katherine Barber

Alias

"Heavy Opossums"

Features

7' 9"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Right middle finger

Organization

The Committee of Thorough Loss

Emotions

Disoriented

Personality

Broadly Spicy

Motive

Take over a government for honor

Bodyguard

David the "Chunky Pheonix"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Dry Fortress

Rundown Lodge

Ice Port

Random Events

Chicken Glistens gently

Lactose Intolerance Becomes wounded

Jug of Peanut Butter Evades the law

Crow Bursts loudly

World

Stores

Amaya's Canopy Bed Technologies

McCormick's Sconce Hole

George's Bonsai Closet

Barber's Mural Department store

Traps

Extended Bane

Ray of Sickness of Oblivion

Objects

Canopy Bed children's replica

Bonsai made of heavy metal

Secret Sconce

Hidden Bangle

Coif of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

Farmland within one mile is amazingly fertile for 1d10+1 years

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zoe McCormick "Five Bones" Merchant Pillows Fire
Aaliyah George "Mad Cappuccinos" Mole Jigsaw Puzzles Rabbits
Damian Daniel Barber Gym Memberships Bears
Amaya Silva Townsfolk Rubber Stamps Peanut Butter
Kingston Barber Chief Executive Officer Sharp Things Oranges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).