The Director Welcomes You

Consulting Royale

#367fe5

Location

Arid, Overcast Algeria

Time of Day

14:43

Extraction Point

119 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Hannah Hernandez has gone missing and we believe "Three Dwarf" is responsible. They were last seen in Algeria at 11:07. The agent sent one final message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Grey Hollow". Take this Fluffy Paint - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Silas Alexander

Alias

"Three Dwarf"

Features

7' 10"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Community of Disgusting Scales

Emotions

Jealous

Personality

Coolly Purple

Motive

Disrupt the military out of greed

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Shitty Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Drab Lodge

Bustling Maze

Grave Consequences Creek

Random Events

Goblet Integrates silently into the group

Vegetable Strikes the church bell

Vagabond is being loudly arrested

Demon Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Kayden's Lounge Chair Consulting

Schwartz's Cutting board Threads

Patel's Hanging Birdcage International

Hernandez's Bureau Threads

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Bricks from Ceiling of Virtue

Objects

Lounge Chair with a False bottom

Hanging Birdcage that has been hollowed out

Secret Cutting board

Hidden Wrench

Rock of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Target sprouts countless leaves, each bearing a mysterious rune

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adalynn Schwartz "White Bagels" Merchant Dinosaurs Chickens
Micah Patel "Bullet Spleens" Mole Easter Dinosaurs
Jonah Townsend Technician Attention Clocks
Kayden Watts Phantom Hamsters Horses
Hannah Hernandez Operator Trees Boxes

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).