The Director Welcomes You

The Dire Hot Journey

#c28964

Location

Miserable, Stormy Belgium

Time of Day

0:4

Extraction Point

188 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

16 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Ring that is glowing. Get to Belgium at 18:01

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Zayden Swanson

Alias

"Orange Mummy"

Features

5' 5"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Club of Worried Coop

Emotions

Aggravated

Personality

Recklessly Chuffed

Motive

Disrupt the military because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Philip the "Rabid Mongoose"

Physical Size

Toy

Story

Additional Locations

The Dire Forest

Deserted Masquerade

Annihilation Lake

Random Events

Hoard approaches

Gang Lunges at the group

Storm screams at the top of their lungs

Milk Shipment Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Nevaeh's Ring Group

Rhodes's Wingback chair Bazaar

Mason's Globe Properties

Rhodes's Watch Industries

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Reverse Gravity of Weakness

Objects

Ring that is glowing

Globe with a False bottom

Secret Wingback chair

Hidden Rapier

Bracer of Weakness

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are dressed in illusory full plate armor

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brooke Rhodes "Four Dumplings" Merchant Painting Balloons
Zoey Mason "Orange Hot Dogs" Mole Clocks Deodorant
Penelope Brady Accountant Whipped Cream Trucks
Nevaeh Simpson Meteorologist Chocolate Bells
Morris Rhodes Professional Bridesmaid Video Games Sun Glasses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).