The Director Welcomes You

The Breezy Postoffice Pursuit

#7a097c

Location

Humid, Dull Fiji

Time of Day

1:34

Extraction Point

72 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

12 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to underneathe a Underwater Shelter to look for a suspect by the name "Fat Beast". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Rainbow Mountain".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Evil Cake in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Luca Brown

Alias

"Fat Beast"

Features

6' 5"

Green eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The company of Green Zoo

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Seriously Risible

Motive

Disrupt the military to control the Children

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Thoughtless Beholder"

Physical Size

Elder

Story

Additional Locations

The Breezy Reef

Polluted Business

Reservation Sanctuary

Random Events

Meteor Spontaneously disintegrates

Wedding Cake is loose

Nomad Bursts loudly

Woman arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Rhett's Statue Cosmetics

Gray's Trophy Market

Moody's Hat Atelier

Gutierrez's Portrait Ventures

Traps

Wall Blade

Wall Blade of Casualties

Objects

Statue made of heavy metal

Hat children's replica

Secret Trophy

Hidden Lance

Targe of Casualties

Wand of Wonder

Target’s next 1d10 attacks affect him as well

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nicholas Gray "One Kidneys" Merchant Football Water
James Moody "King Cheesecakes" Mole Soup Potatoes
Malachi Manning Chief Executive Officer Rocks Stickers
Rhett Morrison Demon Comic Books Toilets
Josiah Gutierrez Demon Basketball Jazz

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).