The Director Welcomes You

The Bird Cheer Protocol

#e362ad

Location

Dark, Breezy Greece

Time of Day

2:33

Extraction Point

2 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Pitch Black Volcano . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Silver Dragon" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Tempest". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Mechanical Abascus hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Dean Chan

Alias

"Silver Dragon"

Features

7' 7"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Left eye

Organization

The Council of Muscular Handle

Emotions

Bored

Personality

Easily Damp

Motive

Take over a government for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Wooden Chimera"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Dubious Island

Desolate Fortress

Fragility Reef

Random Events

Pickpocket Evades the law

Chunk of Beef Calls menacingly

Rustler Crashes slowly

Reindeer runs over an infant

World

Stores

Dominic's Shirt Wardrobe

Paul's Shelf of alcohol Creative

Fitzgerald's Flowers Growing Supermarket

Freeman's Pan Bazaar

Traps

Poison Wall Spikes

Ice lock of Cheer

Objects

Shirt that is glowing

Flowers Growing with a False bottom

Secret Shelf of alcohol

Hidden Fork

Glasses of Cheer

Wand of Wonder

One of target’s limbs develops an intense hatred for the others

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Trinity Paul "No Cappuccinos" Merchant Balloons Lions
Amelia Fitzgerald "Big Churros" Mole Jazz Paper
Daniel Rowe Veteran Flashlights Glass
Dominic Jordan Meteorologist Jigsaw Puzzles Potatoes
Lillian Freeman Graphic Designer Pillows Cookies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).