The Director Welcomes You

Cherries, Death, Battery, Spy.

#04ae02

Location

Rainy, Cloudless Iceland

Time of Day

21:7

Extraction Point

33 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside fly above a Polluted Carousal . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "All Armadillo" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a random cow at the Serpents Nest". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Delicate Clamp hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hayden Lynch

Alias

"All Armadillo"

Features

4' 5"

Green eyes

Large moles / Left leg

Organization

The Bureau of Fulsome Battery

Emotions

Elated

Personality

Powerfully Common

Motive

Take over a country out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Gentle Minotaur"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Sharp City

Archaic Isle

Destruction Acropolis

Random Events

German Trench Club Glistens gently

Softball Bounces oddly

Crow Is being kidnapped

Cauldron stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Abraham's Mounted Animal Bazaar

Avila's Canopy Bed Cosmetics

Washington's Statue Department store

Fletcher's Mirror Technologies

Traps

Extended Bane

Beehive of Good Spirits

Objects

Mounted Animal children's replica

Statue children's replica

Secret Canopy Bed

Hidden Nipple Clamp

Sticks of Good Spirits

Wand of Wonder

Target’s head seems on the verge of bursting

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Malachi Avila "Junior Cappuccinos" Merchant Sun Glasses Chili
Fiona Washington "Tough Heels" Mole Candy Candles
Fiona Warren Midwife Chalk Football
Abraham Klein Pharmacist Dice Sun Glasses
Alexis Fletcher Hairdresser Baseball Sponges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).