The Director Welcomes You

The Data Extinction Incident

#d21872

Location

Humid, Breezy Iceland

Time of Day

0:0

Extraction Point

23 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

12 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to the bottom of a Touristy Festival to look for a suspect by the name "Cheap Merfolk". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Big Momma".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Sharp Watch in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aiden Banks

Alias

"Cheap Merfolk"

Features

5' 5"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Right hand

Organization

The Department of Cold Change

Emotions

Overwhelmed

Personality

Seldom Poor

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Emily the "Lively Rabbit"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Bruised Carnival

Archaic Business

Pleasure Suburbs

Random Events

Donkey is loose

Vagrant arrives in the mail

Bank Crashes slowly

Lactose Intolerance Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Emery's Glass Jars International

Becker's Pedestal Consulting

Ray's Picture Frame Specialities

Chandler's Skeletal Animal Little shop

Traps

Dropping Ceiling

Flooding Room of Extinction

Objects

Glass Jars that has been hollowed out

Picture Frame that is glowing

Secret Pedestal

Hidden Newspaper

Fork of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s blood is a sickly green and smells like manure

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dominic Becker "Quiet Feet" Merchant Essential Oils Dice
Delilah Ray "One Scars" Mole Bracelets Cooking
Julianna Barrett Bruised Singing Tigers
Emery Bennett Chef Ice Cubes Soccer
Rose Chandler Surveyor Hamsters Sailboats

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).