The Director Welcomes You

Chic Chåteau Royale

#55afdd

Location

Chilly, Dry Ethiopia

Time of Day

14:10

Extraction Point

146 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Informants,
We need your help. Agent Connor Morrison has gone missing and we believe "Chunky Drunken Irish Guy" is responsible. They were last seen in Ethiopia at 05:06. The agent sent one final message – "A thick fog rolls in at the ruined castle". Take this Clean Paint Brush - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Charles Burke

Alias

"Chunky Drunken Irish Guy"

Features

6' 1"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Right eye

Organization

The Incorporated of Obtuse Engine

Emotions

Distrusting

Personality

Diligently Freezing

Motive

Take over a government in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Jack the "Long Anteaters"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Shrilling Isle

Overpopulated Lagoon

Delight Castle

Random Events

Biscuit gathers near a point of interest

Procession gathers near a point of interest

Alligator is robbed

Turtle explodes

World

Stores

Melody's Medallion Chic Chåteau

Mills's Pair of Statues Technologies

Schmidt's Painting Solutions

Morrison's Goblet Discount

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Razor-Wire across Hallway of Redemption

Objects

Medallion with a False bottom

Painting that has been hollowed out

Secret Pair of Statues

Hidden Pike

Magazine of Redemption

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t be harmed by magical fire while indoors

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mila Mills "Obese Ribs" Merchant Tissues Soccer
Robert Schmidt "White Muscles" Mole Clocks Coffee
Adrian Gilbert Graphic Designer Attention Drinking
Melody Gregory Human Statue Snowglobes Houses
Connor Morrison Cobbler Tigers Broccoli

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).