The Director Welcomes You

Who is Johnny Guide?

#80ee52

Location

Gorgeous, Humid Sri Lanka

Time of Day

12:23

Extraction Point

112 Miles S

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Agents,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Coat of Arms made of heavy metal. Get to Sri Lanka at 12:24

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mckenzie Perry

Alias

"Five Minotaur"

Features

5' 6"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Right leg

Organization

The Brotherhood of Short Throne

Emotions

Insecure

Personality

Hungrily Mastadonic

Motive

Disrupt the military to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Johnny the "Smelly Mutants"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Long Maze

Polluted Suburbs

Demise Acropolis

Random Events

Deadbeat arrives in the mail

Chicken arrives in the mail

Carcass is loose

Carcass is robbed

World

Stores

Giovanni's Coat of Arms Worldwide

Murphy's Statue Little shop

Yates's Spice shelf Emporium

Johnson's Cabinet Convenience store

Traps

Dropping Ceiling

Falling Block of Extinction

Objects

Coat of Arms made of heavy metal

Spice shelf that has been hollowed out

Secret Statue

Hidden Hammers

Fork of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Target befriends the toughest, most dangerous creature he can see

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Matthew Murphy "Dull Lox" Merchant Christmas Rubber Bands
Madison Yates "Junior Lox" Mole Candy Sailboats
Sara Lee Pharmacist Flashlights Batteries
Giovanni Schwartz Statistician Scarves Tissues
Liam Johnson Accountant Dice Chocolate

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).