The Director Welcomes You

The Green Calligraphy Pen Enigma

#31a09f

Location

Dull, Dull Slovenia

Time of Day

0:52

Extraction Point

70 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Basket made of heavy metal. Get to Slovenia at 01:15

Good Luck.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Josiah Tyler

Alias

"Quiet Gargoyle"

Features

4' 4"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Neck

Organization

The Division of Immense Shunt

Emotions

Absorbed

Personality

Seemingly Rapid

Motive

Disrupt the military to be left alone

Bodyguard

Donald the "Chilly Bear"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Green Shelter

Bustling Maze

Annihilation Mansion

Random Events

Chauvinist Is being kidnapped

Turtle Lunges at the group

Jug of Peanut Butter chase a suspect

Bag of Lemons drops from the sky

World

Stores

Emmanuel's Basket Du jour

Garner's Diary Chic Chåteau

Ruiz's Letter Opener Cosmetics

Bishop's Tea Set Specialities

Traps

Blade Barrier

Bricks from Ceiling of Calming

Objects

Basket made of heavy metal

Letter Opener made of heavy metal

Secret Diary

Hidden Button

Rapier of Calming

Wand of Wonder

All ink within one mile is invisible in sunlight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isabel Garner "Left Legs" Merchant Football Chocolate
Angel Ruiz "Wild Matzo Balls" Mole Cookies Cellphones
Audrey Warner Spirit Squirrels Essential Oils
Emmanuel Hanson Blacksmith Candles Glass
Sawyer Bishop Fortune Cookie Writer Batteries Broccoli

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).