The Director Welcomes You

The Death Expiration Protocol

#25dc0a

Location

Stormy, Overcast Thailand

Time of Day

7:18

Extraction Point

63 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Rhett Turner has gone missing and we believe "Fast starfish" is responsible. They were last seen in Thailand at 00:18. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Grove of Weeping Willows". Take this Dull Guitar - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Isla Lucas

Alias

"Fast starfish"

Features

4' 11"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Crew of Sweet Wren

Emotions

Restless

Personality

Obnoxiously Petite

Motive

Take over a country for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Juicy Zombie"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Vast Jungle

Abandoned Shelter

Indecision Creek

Random Events

Squirrel Spontaneously disintegrates

Box of Cigarette stop the party and asks questions

Bellhop gathers near a point of interest

Majestic Painting screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Vincent's Tea Pot Properties

Owens's Toolbox Beauty Stop

Greene's Sconce Atelier

Turner's Pair of Statues Little shop

Traps

Chain Lightning

Hail of Needles of Expiration

Objects

Tea Pot children's replica

Sconce children's replica

Secret Toolbox

Hidden Diary

Ring of Expiration

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby is carrying an incredibly virulent plague

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Raelynn Owens "Plump Lungs" Merchant Rabbits Teeth
Hailey Greene "Italian Thumbs" Mole Comic Books Photography
Jasper Barrett Phantom Trees Socks
Vincent Graves Sad Peanut Butter Shirts
Rhett Turner Statistician Oranges Stickers

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).