The Director Welcomes You

Productions Royale

#d3c7f2

Location

Rainy, Gorgeous Haiti

Time of Day

14:8

Extraction Point

127 Miles NW

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Drowsy Merfolk" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Frozen palace". We need you to eliminate them, Silently. Their last known location was recorded at 13:07. You have a Beautiful Blouse as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gabriella Rodgers

Alias

"Drowsy Merfolk"

Features

4' 4"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Brotherhood of Vast Alcoholic

Emotions

Fearful

Personality

Silently Nice

Motive

Make a lot of money to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Al the "Tiring Leech"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Modern Forge

Bustling Creek

Influence City

Random Events

Cat stop the party and asks questions

Wedding Cake is robbed

Feminist catches on fire

Leopard Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Bella's Taxidermy animal Productions

Gray's Shoe Horn International

White's Picture Frame Ventures

Moss's Mural Solutions

Traps

Tripping Chain

Moving Executioner Statue of Fate

Objects

Taxidermy animal that is glowing

Picture Frame that is glowing

Secret Shoe Horn

Hidden Katana

Watch of Fate

Wand of Wonder

Next weapon to wound target identifies him as its rightful owner

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ivan Gray "Casual Kidneys" Merchant Cookies Ice Cubes
Andrew White "Fat Spleens" Mole Teeth Drinking
Brianna Obrien Butcher Sailboats Money
Bella Porter Drummer Hamsters Basketball
Jonah Moss Actor Lions Chickens

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).