The Director Welcomes You

Shovel, Plunger, Twins, Spy.

#7fc6bc

Location

Cloudless, Stormy Solomon Islands

Time of Day

6:21

Extraction Point

173 Miles SW

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Scrutinizers,
As you can see you are trapped inside fly above a Desolate Grove . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Wild Leech" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the graveyard". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Delicate Condom hidden on you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Madelyn Guzman

Alias

"Wild Leech"

Features

6' 9"

Gray eyes

A second belly button / Left leg

Organization

The Division of Echoing Twins

Emotions

Sympathy

Personality

Quaintly Ruminating

Motive

Disrupt the military to become rich

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Unsightly Sea Lion"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Alive Masquerade

Hidden Acropolis

Dark Business

Random Events

Woman meets disaster

Store Is being tortured

Husband explodes

Procession Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Willow's Tea Set Boutique

Tate's Key Group

Pratt's Credenza Logistics

Lloyd's Mounted Animal Department store

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Ray of Sickness of Destiny

Objects

Tea Set made of heavy metal

Credenza with a False bottom

Secret Key

Hidden Notebook

Scimitar of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards have clouded vision for 2d6 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lorenzo Tate "Chunky Pinky's" Merchant Doves Tissues
Xavier Pratt "Yellow Muscles" Mole Attention Writers
Athena Contreras Dietitian Bread Sailboats
Willow French Ghost Cookies Doves
Carson Lloyd Actor Teeth Rubber Stamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).