The Director Welcomes You

Who is Carl Regret?

#ebd69d

Location

Wet, Arid Korea, North

Time of Day

24:29

Extraction Point

21 Miles N

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside within earshot of a Rundown Arcade . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Bullet Zombie" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a random cow at the Old battlefield". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Rusty Clamp hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ellie Harris

Alias

"Bullet Zombie"

Features

6' 7"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Crotch

Organization

The Firm of Salmon Volcano

Emotions

Exasperated

Personality

Repeatedly Puny

Motive

Take over a government in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Carl the "Thorough Turtle"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Teeny Chateau

Compact Circus

Excitement Mansion

Random Events

Spectator emerges

Cookie Bounces oddly

Soup Is under a curse

Feminist catches on fire

World

Stores

Anastasia's Cabinet Cosmetics

Hardy's Barrel Warehouse

Richardson's Barrel Atelier

Flores's Bell Boutique

Traps

Acid Fog

Moving Executioner Statue of Happiness

Objects

Cabinet that is glowing

Barrel that has been hollowed out

Secret Barrel

Hidden Bracelet

Greaves of Happiness

Wand of Wonder

Target feels as if he’s walking on a high tightrope

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Logan Hardy "Drowsy Kidneys" Merchant Rabbits Jigsaw Puzzles
Emmett Richardson "Quiet Tongues" Mole Paperclips Rocks
Nathaniel Reed Midwife Cartography Deodorant
Anastasia Saunders Zestful Candy Money
Morgan Flores Elder Doves Acorns

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).