The Director Welcomes You

Collective Royale

#bd36a5

Location

Chilly, Dry Italy

Time of Day

8:43

Extraction Point

182 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "Tough Kangaroos" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "A lone flower growing at the Wizard's Scar". We need you to eliminate them, Readily. Their last known location was recorded at 18:01. You have a Beautiful Vise as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Callie Mack

Alias

"Tough Kangaroos"

Features

6' 10"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Order of Bad Mommy

Emotions

Relieved

Personality

Readily Stocky

Motive

Take over a country because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Jack the "Smelly Spirit"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Plain Peninsula

Abandoned Suburbs

Euphoria Jungle

Random Events

Nearby Gas Tank approaches

Sewer Is under a curse

Cookie is robbed

Bellhop skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Silas's Bonsai Collective

Griffin's Bonsai Convenience store

Green's Butter Churner Collective

Patterson's Figurine Specialities

Traps

Collapsing Column

Poison Wall Spikes of Rage

Objects

Bonsai that has been hollowed out

Butter Churner that has been hollowed out

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Crossbow

Pike of Rage

Wand of Wonder

Next weapon nearby to draw blood laughs malevolently until sunset

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ivan Griffin "Small Cheesecakes" Merchant Hamsters Easter
Lucia Green "Red Brains" Mole Cellphones Money
Max Cummings Teacher Glitter Candles
Silas Castro Talent agent Painting Soccer
Kaiden Patterson Consultant Physics Christmas

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).