The Director Welcomes You

Logistics Royale

#b3b191

Location

Miserable, Dull Venezuela

Time of Day

5:37

Extraction Point

7 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Emma Acosta has gone missing and we believe "One Pegasus" is responsible. They were last seen in Venezuela at 06:13. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Old battlefield". Take this Explosive Bottle - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Melanie Hansen

Alias

"One Pegasus"

Features

5' 11"

Red eyes

Small mole / Left arm

Organization

The Gang of Worried Scotch

Emotions

Fearful

Personality

Voluntarily Faithful

Motive

Make a lot of money to save humanity

Bodyguard

Tim the "Chuffed Werewolf"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Panicky Suburbs

Crowded City

Indecision Palace

Random Events

Chicken Is being detained

Safe is loose

Druid Integrates silently into the group

Dozen Eggs Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Blake's Pedestal Logistics

Page's Loveseat Consulting

Tate's Lamp Convenience store

Acosta's Plaster Bust Supermarket

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Box of Brown Mold of Grave Consequences

Objects

Pedestal that has been hollowed out

Lamp with a False bottom

Secret Loveseat

Hidden Cutlass

Book of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t be surprised if he’s wearing a carnation

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Declan Page "Plump Elbows" Merchant Baseball Chickens
Marcus Tate "Small Noses" Mole Coffee Cousins
Steven Collins Cranky Cartography Lipstick
Blake McCoy Dentist Football Lions
Emma Acosta Demon Football Sticks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).