The Director Welcomes You
The Cork Extinction Protocol
#6234c5
Ambassadors, As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Polluted Acropolis . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Short Opossums" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A white horse dashes past at the Field of Wildflowers". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.
Hopefully you still have that Soft Camera hidden on you.
— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.
Charles Welch
"Short Opossums"
5' 2"
Amber eyes
Small mole / Left leg
The Sorority of Skinny Scoundrel
Angry
Nicely Wither
Disrupt the military to lead a mutiny
Harrison the "Sparkling Giraffe"
Vast
The Rabid Arcade
Ancient Manor
Vulnerability Lodge
Pine Branch Salutes the adventurers
Odor is loose
Meteor Is getting confiscated
Delivery Guy Is being detained
Steven's Pan Convenience store
Brown's Cabinet Labs
Salazar's Hat Discount
Owens's Bell Hole
Fireball
Camouflaged Pit of Extinction
Pan children's replica
Hat that has been hollowed out
Secret Cabinet
Hidden Cutlass
Newspaper of Extinction
Someone nearby suddenly has eight eyes like a spider
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Abigail Brown | "Short Legs" | Merchant | Soap | Doors |
| Easton Salazar | "Yellow Hands" | Mole | Soda | Paperclips |
| Lauren Moore | Engineer | Doors | Toilets | |
| Steven Norton | Psychiatrist | Photography | Quartz Crystals | |
| Hayden Owens | Actor | Physics | Chili |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).