The Director Welcomes You

The Angry Pot Mission

#c0198e

Location

Cloudless, Dry Liechtenstein

Time of Day

7:44

Extraction Point

86 Miles NE

Time to Complete

16 Hours

Snoopers,
We need your help. Agent Lillian Rice has gone missing and we believe "Short Alien" is responsible. They were last seen in Liechtenstein at 06:23. The agent sent one final message – "A thick fog rolls in at the graveyard". Take this Clandestine Purse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Calvin Kennedy

Alias

"Short Alien"

Features

6' 11"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The Unit of Brief Mother

Emotions

Aggravated

Personality

Naturally Cerulean

Motive

Take over a country to control the Children

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Itchy Troll"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Angry Business

Abandoned Grove

Ruin Park

Random Events

Wedding Cake Finds gold in the water

Drunk is robbed

Swarm of Bees chase a suspect

Cookie Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Bennett's Globe Factory

Perry's Toolbox Arcade

Day's Stairwell Warehouse

Rice's Painting Warehouse

Traps

Floor Net

Ice lock of Good Spirits

Objects

Globe with a False bottom

Stairwell that has been hollowed out

Secret Toolbox

Hidden Chewing Gum

Medallion of Good Spirits

Wand of Wonder

Next wound inflicted upon caster can’t be healed magically

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
William Perry "Quiet Feet" Merchant Chocolate Music
Messiah Day "Two Waffles" Mole Cookies Flowers
Morgan Gallagher Phantom Notes Bread
Bennett Delgado Police Officer Socks Cats
Lillian Rice Frazzled Shirts Rubber Stamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).