The Director Welcomes You

The Organization Purity Protocol

#7ed399

Location

Balmy, Overcast Ireland

Time of Day

23:53

Extraction Point

151 Miles NE

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Eyeballs,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Flowers Growing made of heavy metal. Get to Ireland at 04:09

Good Luck.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maya Horton

Alias

"Bullet Kangaroos"

Features

5' 6"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Right eye

Organization

The Commission of Powerful Paste

Emotions

Proud

Personality

Clearly Immense

Motive

Make a lot of money out of survival

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Mysterious Humanoid"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Efficacious Citadel

Compact Lodge

Rage Lodge

Random Events

Wanderer Is throwing a protest

Druid Balances on a ledge

Gallon of Trash is robbed

Renaissance Faire emerges

World

Stores

Logan's Flowers Growing Cosmetics

Ramos's Lounge Chair Logistics

Gilbert's Vanity Convenience store

Hanson's Candelabra Consulting

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Object Smeared with Poison of Purity

Objects

Flowers Growing made of heavy metal

Vanity with a False bottom

Secret Lounge Chair

Hidden Cutlass

Sabre of Purity

Wand of Wonder

Target is instantly consumed by vermin if he dies within 24 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Michelle Ramos "Junior Kidneys" Merchant Essential Oils Peanut Butter
Ryan Gilbert "Yellow Tongues" Mole Cats Potatoes
Juliana Chandler Veterinarian Ice Cubes Candy
Logan Thornton Acupuncturist Soda Squirrels
Delilah Hanson Lawyer Sharks Easter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).