The Director Welcomes You

The Steep Crown Protocol

#374b06

Location

Rainy, Balmy The Gambia

Time of Day

21:35

Extraction Point

23 Miles SW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to underneathe a Ancient Masquerade to look for a suspect by the name "Sharp Drunken Irish Guy". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the old bridge".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Explosive Candle in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Morgan Cohen

Alias

"Sharp Drunken Irish Guy"

Features

7' 6"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Right arm

Organization

The Firm of Pitiful Tree

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Knowledgeably Narrow

Motive

Make a lot of money to control the Children

Bodyguard

David the "Rapid Centaur"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Steep Forge

Rundown Lake

Well-being Barn Dance

Random Events

Husband chase a suspect

Dancer Strikes the church bell

Bag of Flour Is being detained

Cauldron is robbed

World

Stores

Emmett's Potted Plant Collective

Wilson's Barrel Cosmetics

Perkins's Easel Ventures

Hayes's Coat of Arms Hole

Traps

Javelin

Flooding Room of Calamity

Objects

Potted Plant that has been hollowed out

Easel children's replica

Secret Barrel

Hidden Bangle

Sticks of Calamity

Wand of Wonder

Caster ate the last of the rations that his party was carrying

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Trinity Wilson "Heavy Spleens" Merchant Octopus Physics
Damian Perkins "Fat Matzo Balls" Mole Notes Butterflies
Scarlett Mendoza Chef Comic Books Jazz
Emmett Chambers Exhilarated Gym Memberships Chalk
Ryker Hayes Acupuncturist Baseball Chalk

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).