The Director Welcomes You

The Insurance Weakness Incident

#bc9b74

Location

Wet, Dull Saint Lucia

Time of Day

2:19

Extraction Point

153 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Meddlers,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Expensive Grove . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Five Pegasus" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shrine is nearby at the graveyard". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Mechanical Pencil hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Liam Miles

Alias

"Five Pegasus"

Features

7' 11"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Right thumb

Organization

The Bunch of Extensive Brothel

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Nicely Limpid

Motive

Make a lot of money for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Municipal Camel"

Physical Size

Considerable

Story

Additional Locations

The Cocky Barn Dance

Polluted Acropolis

Animosity Suburbs

Random Events

Swarm of Bees screams at the top of their lungs

Prostitute Crashes slowly

Gang gathers near a point of interest

Rhapsody meets disaster

World

Stores

Charlotte's Cabinet Brothers

Hale's Medallion Chic Chåteau

Matthews's Grandfather Clock Hole

Mills's Bible Solutions

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Crushing Room of Weakness

Objects

Cabinet that has been hollowed out

Grandfather Clock that is glowing

Secret Medallion

Hidden Javelins

Key of Weakness

Wand of Wonder

A 1d10 mile radius becomes a peaceful lake

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Diego Hale "Little Legs" Merchant Washing Machines Physics
Isabelle Matthews "Stiff Thumbs" Mole Cookies Chalk
Julian Garrett Athlete Notes Physics
Charlotte Hamilton Surveyor Books Butterflies
Maddox Mills Flirty Quartz Crystals Doves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).