The Director Welcomes You

The Disgust Pleasure Incident

#06f29c

Location

Dry, Windless Uzbekistan

Time of Day

20:24

Extraction Point

110 Miles E

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Pitch Black Island . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Italian Wendigo" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A lone flower growing at the Turtle Rock". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Bulbous Plier hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brianna Bush

Alias

"Italian Wendigo"

Features

4' 11"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Left arm

Organization

The Firm of Tight Product

Emotions

Trust

Personality

Wetly Salmon

Motive

Take over a country out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Bankrupt Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Municipal Park

Ancient City

Irritation Sanctuary

Random Events

Tramp Catches leprosy

Bag of Flour Evades the law

Delivery Guy Ignites violently

Store Glistens gently

World

Stores

Emerson's Skeletal Animal Solutions

Hart's Stamp Set Threads

Bowen's Coat of Arms Brothers

Pearson's Portrait Ventures

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Pleasure

Objects

Skeletal Animal that is glowing

Coat of Arms children's replica

Secret Stamp Set

Hidden File

Greaves of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

All rope within 50 yards straightens and becomes hard as stone

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mia Hart "Heavy Falafels" Merchant Baseball Dice
Kayla Bowen "Cramped Spleens" Mole Tea Potatoes
Isabelle Soto Geologist Ice Cubes Painting
Emerson Caldwell The Body Chalk Limes
Ian Pearson Flirty Jigsaw Puzzles Oranges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).