The Director Welcomes You

The Rainy Beggar Examination

#c74a1f

Location

Rainy, Sunny East Timor

Time of Day

16:36

Extraction Point

94 Miles E

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Emilia Hampton has gone missing and we believe "Yellow Cockatrice" is responsible. They were last seen in East Timor at 22:04. The agent sent one final message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Where grass will not grow". Take this Mechanical Lamp - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Taylor Chavez

Alias

"Yellow Cockatrice"

Features

7' 8"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left leg

Organization

The Order of Slimy Spaghetti

Emotions

Shocked

Personality

Utterly Huge

Motive

Take over a country out of desperation

Bodyguard

Nick the "Wide kobold"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Rainy Carousal

Underwater Crypt

Mania Suburbs

Random Events

Dead Animal gathers near a point of interest

Ninja Glistens gently

Princess Bursts loudly

Musical grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Cora's Bonsai Couture

Holland's Statue Beauty Stop

Moss's Pan Supermarket

Hampton's Chaise Productions

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Water-Filled Room of Euphoria

Objects

Bonsai with a False bottom

Pan made of heavy metal

Secret Statue

Hidden Polearm

Collar of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Before each spell, caster must insult a close friend

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Piper Holland "Fat Stomachs" Merchant Limes Water
Isaac Moss "Right Forearms" Mole Bells Mirrors
William Jones Plumber Glitter Jazz
Cora Sims Vision Cats Football
Emilia Hampton Dietitian Slippers Physics

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).