The Director Welcomes You

The Poodle Cheer Incident

#de5ea3

Location

Mild, Gorgeous The Gambia

Time of Day

17:24

Extraction Point

85 Miles NW

Time to Complete

12 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Two Mongoose" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Big Momma". We need you to eliminate them, Bitterly. Their last known location was recorded at 06:21. You have a Bulbous Newspaper as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kennedy Black

Alias

"Two Mongoose"

Features

7' 10"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Fraternity of Loud Yeast

Emotions

Uncertain

Personality

Bitterly Defeated

Motive

Disrupt the military to become famous

Bodyguard

Harold the "Puny Hobgoblin"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Rapid Lake

Polluted Sanctuary

Ice Park

Random Events

Chauvinist Is frozen into a block of ice

Procession Attempts to rob a bank

Amulet Strikes the church bell

German Trench Club Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Jeremy's Cabinet Factory

Thomas's Picture Frame Group

Andrews's Satchel Consulting

Vega's Bookcase Threads

Traps

Beehive

Flooded Corridor of Cheer

Objects

Cabinet made of heavy metal

Satchel that has been hollowed out

Secret Picture Frame

Hidden Frying Pan

Lipstick of Cheer

Wand of Wonder

All ferrous metal within 50 yards is magnetized

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Raelynn Thomas "Meaty Feet" Merchant Dice Soda
Andrew Andrews "Green Bagels" Mole Cartography Death
Riley Mejia Consultant Butterflies Cousins
Jeremy Rios Old Timer Cartography Sailboats
Delilah Vega Old Timer Cousins Lamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).