The Director Welcomes You

Who is Alex Corn?

#c5559c

Location

Calm, Calm Korea, North

Time of Day

12:46

Extraction Point

69 Miles SW

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Snoopers,
We need your help. Agent Claire Cole has gone missing and we believe "Dull Merfolk" is responsible. They were last seen in Korea, North at 00:03. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Serpents Nest". Take this Evil Chewing Gum - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elias Schwartz

Alias

"Dull Merfolk"

Features

6' 8"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Crotch

Organization

The Brotherhood of Plump Salami

Emotions

Insecure

Personality

Greedily Nutritious

Motive

Disrupt the military fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Alex the "Disruptive Nymph"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Cocky Circus

Underwater Lake

Death Palace

Random Events

Spice Box Bursts loudly

Gunshot Crashes slowly

Baker Is accused by the law

Robber skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Anthony's Satchel Arcade

Garza's Credenza Factory

Bell's Mirror Consulting

Cole's Lipstick Chic Chåteau

Traps

Dropping Ceiling

Poison Dart of Sanitation

Objects

Satchel that is glowing

Mirror that is glowing

Secret Credenza

Hidden Dagger

Cutlass of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

All of caster’s fingers are clear like glass

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Rachel Garza "Fast Scars" Merchant Water Death
Steven Bell "Green Pretzels" Mole Candy Ice Cubes
Nathaniel Black Artist Lipstick Hammers
Anthony French Funeral Director Photography Shirts
Claire Cole Judge Glass Children's Stories

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).