The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Obtuse Two

#887c10

Location

Dry, Frigid Fiji

Time of Day

12:30

Extraction Point

117 Miles SE

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Sophie Hunter has gone missing and we believe "Meaty Nymph" is responsible. They were last seen in Fiji at 13:15. The agent sent one final message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Skull shaped island". Take this Angry Screwdriver - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Arabella Reynolds

Alias

"Meaty Nymph"

Features

7' 4"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Right thumb

Organization

The Gang of Affluent Hunter

Emotions

Grief-stricken

Personality

Cautiously Fit

Motive

Disrupt the military to become the best

Bodyguard

Tony the "Good Owl"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Obtuse Grove

Crowded Tower

Exuberance Grove

Random Events

Building Salutes the adventurers

Prostitute overflows

Bunny Integrates silently into the group

Toilet Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Callie's Cabinet Arcade

Ray's Pipe Specialities

Dennis's Bookcase Closet

Hunter's Pocket watch Atelier

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Blade Barrier of Darkness

Objects

Cabinet that has been hollowed out

Bookcase children's replica

Secret Pipe

Hidden Book

Hatchet of Darkness

Wand of Wonder

When target sees or is hit by magic, his head becomes invisible

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jeremiah Ray "Drowsy Kidneys" Merchant Rubber Stamps Flashlights
Sawyer Dennis "Short Feet" Mole Soccer Lipstick
Charlie McCormick Master Distiller Trucks Squirrels
Callie Larson Railroad Conductor Gym Memberships Tigers
Sophie Hunter Funeral Director Television Quartz Crystals

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).