The Director Welcomes You

Brothers Royale

#074a8a

Location

Overcast, Wet Cameroon

Time of Day

18:56

Extraction Point

43 Miles NE

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Investigators,
It seems "No Aardvark" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the Snowy garrison". We need you to eliminate them, Searchingly. Their last known location was recorded at 23:15. You have a Light Chewing Gum as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

King Pearson

Alias

"No Aardvark"

Features

7' 6"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The Bureau of Itchy Library

Emotions

Pleased

Personality

Searchingly Howling

Motive

Take over a government to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Zealous Bat"

Physical Size

Shrimpy

Story

Additional Locations

The Braised Acropolis

Hidden Villa

Euphoria Spring

Random Events

Soup Glistens gently

Keg Skips merrily

Leopard Becomes wounded

Keg Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Lorenzo's Notebook Brothers

Matthews's Mantle Couture

Schmidt's Figurine Arcade

Phillips's Window Discount

Traps

Tripping Chain

Hail of Needles of Stealth

Objects

Notebook made of heavy metal

Figurine that has been hollowed out

Secret Mantle

Hidden Lighter

Morning Star of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

Next potion imbibed by caster causes him to be Slowed

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Avery Matthews "Casual Arms" Merchant Whipped Cream Broccoli
Cameron Schmidt "Small Hearts" Mole Rubber Bands Flowers
Roman Schultz Physician Dinosaurs Balloons
Lorenzo Morgan Plumber Football Water
Abel Phillips Meteorologist Bracelets Oranges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).