The Director Welcomes You

Department store Royale

#d37294

Location

Warm, Dull Uzbekistan

Time of Day

3:36

Extraction Point

37 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Spy Deputies,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Suit of armor that has been hollowed out. Get to Uzbekistan at 03:06

Good Luck.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Levi Buchanan

Alias

"Italian Siren"

Features

6' 7"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Left eye

Organization

The Incorporated of Full Hole

Emotions

Revulsion

Personality

Instantly Shrilling

Motive

Make a lot of money to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Juan the "Scrawny Fairy"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Polite Lake

Overpopulated Reef

The Blackest Black Circus

Random Events

Pine Branch is being loudly arrested

Beggar Is throwing a protest

Swarm of Bees Attempts to rob a bank

Chanting Cult grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Samuel's Suit of armor Department store

Silva's Letter Opener Discount

Wallace's Bonsai Warehouse

McCormick's Sconce Wardrobe

Traps

Scything Blade

Fireball of Obsession

Objects

Suit of armor that has been hollowed out

Bonsai that has been hollowed out

Secret Letter Opener

Hidden Crossbow

Cat of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Everyone within 50 yards has a live salmon in his pocket

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Iris Silva "Casual Spleens" Merchant Ice Cubes Plushies
Jacob Wallace "Wild Muscles" Mole Peanut Butter Candy
Jason Collins Cranky Bread Horses
Samuel Castillo Librarian Snowglobes Technology
Gracie McCormick Dentist Doors Books

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).