The Director Welcomes You

The Headquarters Exuberance Protocol

#23ec54

Location

Gloomy, Foul Mauritania

Time of Day

17:49

Extraction Point

47 Miles SW

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to the bottom of a Underground Arcade to look for a suspect by the name "Bullet Camel". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Ancient Fountain".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Glowing Calculator in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Luna Singh

Alias

"Bullet Camel"

Features

5' 6"

Heterochromia eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The Gang of Bad Stepmother

Emotions

Scared

Personality

Innocently Surly

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Tony the "Stoned Imp"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Lazy Circus

Overpopulated Jungle

Irritation Island

Random Events

Lactose Intolerance stop the party and asks questions

Cat Is being tortured

Swarm of Bees Finds gold in the water

Corncob emerges

World

Stores

Everett's Cabinet Atelier

Freeman's Tea Pot Group

Carr's Spice shelf Discount

Stevenson's Vase Emporium

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Ghoul Touch of Exuberance

Objects

Cabinet that has been hollowed out

Spice shelf that is glowing

Secret Tea Pot

Hidden Lipstick

Lance of Exuberance

Wand of Wonder

Next door opened by caster leads to a featureless desert

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Eva Freeman "Gross Lungs" Merchant Chalk Quartz Crystals
Josiah Carr "King Ankles" Mole Rubber Stamps Trucks
Andrew Jordan Cosmetologist Sponges Christmas
Everett Sanchez Sad Drinking Sailboats
Jordan Stevenson Restless Mirrors Singing

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).