The Director Welcomes You

Donkey Dick, Moon, Buffalo Nickel, Spy.

#7507eb

Location

Icy, Cloudy Serbia

Time of Day

10:8

Extraction Point

23 Miles W

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Eyeballs,
It seems "Nice Bigfoot" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a random cow at the Three Fingers". We need you to eliminate them, Reluctantly. Their last known location was recorded at 00:05. You have a Light Sun Lotion as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Daniel Barber

Alias

"Nice Bigfoot"

Features

7' 4"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Neck

Organization

The Unit of Salmon Buffalo Nickel

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Reluctantly Disruptive

Motive

Take over a government out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Engorged Dwarf"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Few Maze

Overpopulated Carnival

Delight Villa

Random Events

Chicken Lunges at the group

Gypsy Salutes the adventurers

Thief is heard screaming

Thief Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Valerie's Loveseat Bureau

Patel's Brass Replica Atelier

Santos's Bureau Brothers

Quinn's Candelabra Discount

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Poisoned Arrow of Ice

Objects

Loveseat with a False bottom

Bureau with a False bottom

Secret Brass Replica

Hidden Staff

Morning Star of Ice

Wand of Wonder

Next potion imbibed by caster makes him see fire all around him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
London Patel "Right Boy" Merchant Physics Batteries
Parker Santos "Tough Bagels" Mole Slippers Paperclips
Jordan Salazar Athlete Chili Bears
Valerie Davis Surgeon Photography Flashlights
Edward Quinn Meteorologist Essential Oils Sharp Things

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).