The Director Welcomes You

Tape, Control, Fetish, Spy.

#7d2a2b

Location

Balmy, Windless Czech Republic

Time of Day

5:55

Extraction Point

150 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Meddlers,
It seems "Stiff Merfolk" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Field of Wildflowers". We need you to eliminate them, Blissfully. Their last known location was recorded at 16:02. You have a Glowing Brush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Luna Cannon

Alias

"Stiff Merfolk"

Features

7' 11"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Bureau of Loose Fetish

Emotions

Brave

Personality

Blissfully Shallow

Motive

Make a lot of money for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Depressed Hyena"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Incalculable City

Polluted Reef

The Blackest Black Jungle

Random Events

Bum Is throwing a BBQ

Druid Is getting confiscated

Robber is being loudly arrested

Corncob Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Christian's Cabinet Boutique

Bryant's Satchel Du jour

Doyle's Bureau Beauty Stop

Steele's Basket Technologies

Traps

Fire

Bestow Curse of Fire

Objects

Cabinet children's replica

Bureau children's replica

Secret Satchel

Hidden Morning Star

Necklace of Fire

Wand of Wonder

If cut open, caster is found to contain 1d1000 feet of intestine

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
George Bryant "Slow Knuckles" Merchant Chocolate Dinosaurs
Grant Doyle "Green Dumplings" Mole Cooking Whipped Cream
Adalynn Juarez The Body Chalk Stickers
Christian Wade Veterinarian Death Doves
Stella Steele Statistician Christmas Attention

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).