The Director Welcomes You

The Gracefully Feisty Agent

#128078

Location

Dull, Balmy Australia

Time of Day

6:37

Extraction Point

114 Miles NE

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Malachi Pratt has gone missing and we believe "Golden kobold" is responsible. They were last seen in Australia at 05:04. The agent sent one final message – "A thick fog rolls in at the Snowy garrison". Take this Vicious Ashtray - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ariel Sullivan

Alias

"Golden kobold"

Features

6' 5"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Left arm

Organization

The Gang of Fat House

Emotions

Proud

Personality

Gracefully Immense

Motive

Take over a country to save humanity

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Childish Demon"

Physical Size

Narrow

Story

Additional Locations

The Feisty Maze

Deserted Lodge

Influence Park

Random Events

VAT of Broth Is throwing a protest

Vagrant screams at the top of their lungs

Hound Protests

Vagabond Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

World

Stores

Alaina's Toolset International

Schmidt's Bench Consulting

Rogers's Hose Bureau

Pratt's Pan Industries

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Flooded Corridor of Indecision

Objects

Toolset that is glowing

Hose that is glowing

Secret Bench

Hidden Spoon

Sabre of Indecision

Wand of Wonder

Anyone touching the target in the next turn is briefly paralyzed

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sophia Schmidt "Drowsy Falafels" Merchant Whipped Cream Death
Lucy Rogers "Two Lemons" Mole Squirrels Painting
Tristan Waters Hairdresser Paperclips Bears
Alaina Campbell Cleaner Essential Oils Candy
Malachi Pratt Plumber Hamsters Dolphins

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).