The Director Welcomes You

Threads Royale

#158e9a

Location

Cloudless, Humid Ethiopia

Time of Day

0:51

Extraction Point

133 Miles E

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Touristy Acropolis . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Stiff Nymph" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A vagrant asks for food at the giants footsteps". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Invisible Nuts and Bolts hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Adalynn Morrison

Alias

"Stiff Nymph"

Features

7' 10"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Right eye

Organization

The company of Scaley Quilt

Emotions

Receptive

Personality

Dramatically Gorgeous

Motive

Take over a government to lust for power

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Mysterious Ogre"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Derogatory Suburbs

Touristy Peninsula

Grave Consequences House

Random Events

Reindeer grabs a lady's purse

Gallon of Trash runs over an infant

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is accused by the law

Softball Finds gold in the water

World

Stores

Naomi's Crock Threads

Rivera's Lamp International

Franklin's Sofa Outlet

Rivera's Bell Closet

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Rune of Paralyzation of Grave Consequences

Objects

Crock with a False bottom

Sofa with a False bottom

Secret Lamp

Hidden Cutlass

Shoe of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Target must Save or his temperature rises 1° per round

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Joshua Rivera "Quiet Waffles" Merchant Plushies Clocks
Daisy Franklin "Drowsy Legs" Mole Sticks Dolphins
Ivy Nelson Art Therapist Bells Paperclips
Naomi Wood Professional Bridesmaid Bells Mirrors
Paige Rivera Hairdresser Cellphones Football

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).