The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Greasy Community

#87ad87

Location

Rainy, Wet Saint Lucia

Time of Day

8:49

Extraction Point

153 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Sleuths,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Pitch Black Park to look for a suspect by the name "Drowsy Aardvark". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A black cat runs past at the Dead Forest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Mechanical File in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brayden Kramer

Alias

"Drowsy Aardvark"

Features

7' 3"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Neck

Organization

The Order of Mysterious Flesh

Emotions

Ambivalent

Personality

Solidly Dank

Motive

Take over a government to become rich

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Proud Armadillo"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Greasy Port

Underwater Carnival

Silence Suburbs

Random Events

Princess strikes the ground

Odor Is throwing a BBQ

Dead Animal approaches

Herd of Chicken Bursts loudly

World

Stores

Reagan's Crock Warehouse

Gomez's Staircase Unlimited

Wagner's Mirror Threads

Paul's Chair Creative

Traps

Crushing Room

Wall Blade of Violence

Objects

Crock that is glowing

Mirror with a False bottom

Secret Staircase

Hidden Sabre

Throwing Dart of Violence

Wand of Wonder

Caster is wracked by searing pain when he touches the undead

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Genevieve Gomez "Left Feet" Merchant Mirrors Eggs
Kylie Wagner "The Toes" Mole Snowglobes Glitter
Patrick Day Spirit Comic Books Lamps
Reagan Mullins Flirty Physics Glitter
Justin Paul Counselor Rubber Stamps Candles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).