The Director Welcomes You

The Phone Disaster Incident

#79f9db

Location

Calm, Gorgeous Peru

Time of Day

5:50

Extraction Point

10 Miles SW

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Eyeballs,
It seems "Gross Koalas" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the old bridge". We need you to eliminate them, Fully. Their last known location was recorded at 03:03. You have a Fluffy Abascus as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Logan Lowe

Alias

"Gross Koalas"

Features

7' 7"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The Company of Better Bog

Emotions

Trust

Personality

Fully Panicky

Motive

Make a lot of money to be left alone

Bodyguard

Billy the "Juicy Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Pre-Pubescent Arcade

Hidden City

Destiny Spring

Random Events

Keg Attempts to rob a bank

Chauvinist Is being kidnapped

Biscuit approaches

Water Vessel Ignites violently

World

Stores

Maddox's Music Box Boutique

Barker's Kitchen table Collective

Lowe's Armoir Brothers

Salazar's Mounted Animal Consulting

Traps

Poison Needle

Hail of Needles of Disaster

Objects

Music Box children's replica

Armoir that has been hollowed out

Secret Kitchen table

Hidden Goblet

Coif of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

Caster doesn’t need to eat for the next 1d100 weeks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nathaniel Barker "Cheap Dumplings" Merchant Doves Trucks
Maverick Lowe "Violet Bones" Mole Basketball Rubber Bands
Bentley Warner Cheerful Houses Slippers
Maddox Schmidt Exhausted Video Games Flowers
Nicole Salazar Barber Hammers Candles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).