The Director Welcomes You

Who is Anthony Collar?

#f6a36d

Location

Cloudy, Overcast Micronesia, Federated States of

Time of Day

10:56

Extraction Point

118 Miles S

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Investigators,
It seems "The Dwarf" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the dry riverbed". We need you to eliminate them, Reproachfully. Their last known location was recorded at 12:04. You have a Rusty Bolt Cutter as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Zion Martin

Alias

"The Dwarf"

Features

4' 10"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Right foot

Organization

The League of Prehistoric Synagogue

Emotions

Neglected

Personality

Reproachfully Disruptive

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Hirsute Bull"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Uptight Barn Dance

Compact Peninsula

Extermination Mansion

Random Events

Crazy Man is loose

Cat catches on fire

Squirrel Is throwing a protest

Majestic Painting Is being tortured

World

Stores

Ryker's Trunk Atelier

Beck's Notebook Discount

Jensen's Tapestry International

Nelson's Diary Bureau

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Collapsing Column of Pleasure

Objects

Trunk made of heavy metal

Tapestry that has been hollowed out

Secret Notebook

Hidden Spear

Cutlass of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

Innumerable bats flutter around the target each day at twilight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Miles Beck "Green Churros" Merchant Football Baseball
Jeremiah Jensen "Silver Lemons" Mole Money Chocolate
Isaac Vargas Demon Glass Sun Glasses
Ryker Cannon Funeral Director Toilets Coffee
Dylan Nelson Talent agent Soup Bears

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).