The Director Welcomes You

Toes, Cork, Volcano, Spy.

#c1eab3

Location

Bright, Balmy Tunisia

Time of Day

7:54

Extraction Point

196 Miles NE

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "Gross Dolphin" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Top of the carousel wheel". We need you to eliminate them, Gleefully. Their last known location was recorded at 09:23. You have a Dull Wrench as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elijah Hogan

Alias

"Gross Dolphin"

Features

5' 3"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Task Force of Sticky Volcano

Emotions

Calm

Personality

Gleefully Mecha

Motive

Take over a government for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Sensual Vampires"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Hissing Peninsula

Ancient Lagoon

Power Festival

Random Events

Nearby Gas Tank Skips merrily

Pickpocket Is getting confiscated

Milk Shipment explodes

Alligator Catches leprosy

World

Stores

Gabriella's Crock International

Bush's Chair Threads

Schmidt's Lounge Chair Market

Pearson's Butter Churner Little shop

Traps

Bear Trap

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Grave Consequences

Objects

Crock that is glowing

Lounge Chair that is glowing

Secret Chair

Hidden Axe

Lance of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Next potion imbibed by caster works only during every other round

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isla Bush "Silver Eyes" Merchant Technology Octopus
Maria Schmidt "Wild Pastrami's" Mole Robots Soccer
Luis Miles Police Officer Cats Chocolate
Gabriella Rice Flirty Painting Whipped Cream
Gabriella Pearson Surveyor Glass Octopus

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).