The Director Welcomes You

The Crashing Politician Enigma

#6e97ea

Location

Windy, Cloudless Seychelles

Time of Day

12:12

Extraction Point

134 Miles SW

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Informants,
We need your help. Agent Harper Ramirez has gone missing and we believe "Mad Pig" is responsible. They were last seen in Seychelles at 18:12. The agent sent one final message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Grey Hollow". Take this Mechanical Coin - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Taylor Thompson

Alias

"Mad Pig"

Features

7' 10"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Right hand

Organization

The Fraternity of Evasive Safety

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Sleepily Nutritious

Motive

Take over a government to be left alone

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Repulsive Rabbit"

Physical Size

Gigantic

Story

Additional Locations

The Crashing Shelter

Deserted Pond

Laughter Reef

Random Events

Vagabond drops from the sky

Lactose Intolerance Is being detained

Chunk of Beef Is throwing a protest

Transport arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Oscar's Grandfather Clock Supermarket

Weaver's Shoe Horn Industries

Joseph's Landscape Warehouse

Ramirez's Pocket watch Little shop

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Swinging Block of Disaster

Objects

Grandfather Clock that is glowing

Landscape children's replica

Secret Shoe Horn

Hidden Longsword

Knife of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

Target’s most valuable possession now belongs to someone else

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Candace Weaver "Two Pastrami's" Merchant Octopus Christmas
Valeria Joseph "Italian Pastrami's" Mole Balloons Trucks
Kaylee Mitchell Engineer Broccoli Syrup
Oscar Barnes Elder Sailboats Rubber Bands
Harper Ramirez Counselor Rocks Robots

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).