The Director Welcomes You

The Yawningly Boorish Agent

#d1b10d

Location

Dry, Dull Congo, Republic of the

Time of Day

22:33

Extraction Point

134 Miles N

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to enter a Abandoned Island to look for a suspect by the name "Left Mermaid". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Boneyard".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Beautiful Blanket in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lily Avila

Alias

"Left Mermaid"

Features

5' 3"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Neck

Organization

The Alliance of Gray Theory

Emotions

Cautious

Personality

Yawningly Humid

Motive

Disrupt the military to lust for power

Bodyguard

James the "Shrill Pig"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Boorish Lake

Underwater Chateau

Secrecy Barn Dance

Random Events

Vegetable Bursts loudly

Hoard Strikes the church bell

Druid is being loudly arrested

Renaissance Faire is robbed

World

Stores

Hudson's Lipstick Group

McGee's Fireplace Technologies

Carroll's Goblet Properties

Mann's Fire poker set Convenience store

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Wall Blade of Redemption

Objects

Lipstick that has been hollowed out

Goblet that has been hollowed out

Secret Fireplace

Hidden Pike

Morning Star of Redemption

Wand of Wonder

Target’s weapon dissolves its wielder’s clothes during battle

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hadley McGee "Silver Noses" Merchant Acorns Sailboats
Grace Carroll "Five Lox" Mole Socks Batteries
Ryleigh Hughes Hotel Manager Hammers Chickens
Hudson Lynch Secretary Attention Tea
Silas Mann Funeral Director Chickens Sticks

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).