The Director Welcomes You

Discount Royale

#0d5e37

Location

Chilly, Breezy Cameroon

Time of Day

4:2

Extraction Point

86 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Dominic Pierce has gone missing and we believe "Wild Minotaur" is responsible. They were last seen in Cameroon at 19:17. The agent sent one final message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Grey Hollow". Take this Explosive Banana - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Finley Owen

Alias

"Wild Minotaur"

Features

5' 8"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right hand

Organization

The Order of Uneven Monument

Emotions

Disturbed

Personality

Deliberately Huge

Motive

Take over a government in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Delicious Imp"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Prehensile Lagoon

Compact Lodge

Pleasure Acropolis

Random Events

Robber Crashes slowly

Reindeer screams at the top of their lungs

Diary Catches leprosy

Softball arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Beau's Creeping Vines Discount

Martin's Cabinet Wardrobe

Wang's Desk Group

Pierce's Sofa Cosmetics

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Burning Hands of Extermination

Objects

Creeping Vines children's replica

Desk that is glowing

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Hammers

Handcuffs of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

Weight-affecting spells make the caster weigh 2X as much as iron

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jose Martin "Cramped Feet" Merchant Rock n' Roll Water
Ryker Wang "Slow Falafels" Mole Plushies Cooking
Isabella Clarke Dentist Lions Sharp Things
Beau Vargas Statistician Easter Pillows
Dominic Pierce Talent agent Lions Clocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).