The Director Welcomes You

The Furiously Pernicious Agent

#cf7331

Location

Cloudy, Sunny India

Time of Day

6:5

Extraction Point

122 Miles SE

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Norah Juarez has gone missing and we believe "Red Sea Lion" is responsible. They were last seen in India at 22:20. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Seven Dead". Take this Mechanical Blender - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jackson Collins

Alias

"Red Sea Lion"

Features

5' 11"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Sorority of Rainy Stepmother

Emotions

Calm

Personality

Furiously Square

Motive

Make a lot of money because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Terry the "Dirty all-seeing eye"

Physical Size

Sizable

Story

Additional Locations

The Pernicious Fortress

Expensive Carousal

Irritation Maze

Random Events

Bag of Flour Calls menacingly

Crow Balances on a ledge

Safe Strikes the church bell

Procession Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Kaiden's Figurine Specialities

Harris's Grandfather Clock Consulting

Gardner's Loveseat Wardrobe

Juarez's Footlocker Convenience store

Traps

Poison Dart

Crushing Room of Censorship

Objects

Figurine that is glowing

Loveseat that has been hollowed out

Secret Grandfather Clock

Hidden Medallion

Blindfold of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Caster is attacked by vengeful imps that resemble small children

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gracie Harris "Right Cheesecakes" Merchant Fire Painting
Abel Gardner "Bullet Scars" Mole Cartography Acorns
Willow Reynolds Tailor Football Easter
Kaiden Flynn Townsfolk Rocks Peanut Butter
Norah Juarez Mechanic Painting Flashlights

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).