The Director Welcomes You

Who is Randy House?

#327c36

Location

Frigid, Miserable Cabo Verde

Time of Day

13:49

Extraction Point

107 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Snoopers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Sconce that is glowing. Get to Cabo Verde at 24:18

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Juliana Swanson

Alias

"Wild giant"

Features

4' 7"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Right middle finger

Organization

The Committee of Salmon Log Cabin

Emotions

Powerless

Personality

Quarrelsomely Shallow

Motive

Take over a country for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Randy the "Juicy Armadillo"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Greasy Reef

Archaic Arcade

Destruction Creek

Random Events

Goblet Attempts to rob a bank

Cookie Is getting confiscated

Dead Animal is loose

Procession skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Leah's Sconce Little shop

Newman's Counter Beauty Stop

McCormick's Stamp Set Du jour

Hughes's Lounge Chair Arcade

Traps

Blade Barrier

Phantasmal Killer of Amnesia

Objects

Sconce that is glowing

Stamp Set that has been hollowed out

Secret Counter

Hidden Mace

Camera of Amnesia

Wand of Wonder

Next enemy to wound caster gains one level or hit die

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Maya Newman "Quiet Waffles" Merchant Squirrels Glitter
Samuel McCormick "Red Knuckles" Mole Football Glitter
Presley Miller Optimistic Slippers Socks
Leah Contreras Waiter Slippers Baseball
Teagan Hughes Psychiatrist Limes Socks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).