The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Creamy Island

#2ade0e

Location

Miserable, Gloomy Nepal

Time of Day

21:7

Extraction Point

161 Miles SE

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Cecilia Peters has gone missing and we believe "Drowsy Centaur" is responsible. They were last seen in Nepal at 18:11. The agent sent one final message – "A shadow passes at the Golden Fire". Take this Slippery Hammer - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mya Arnold

Alias

"Drowsy Centaur"

Features

6' 9"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Sorority of Girthy Uncle

Emotions

Infatuated

Personality

Poorly Broad

Motive

Make a lot of money out of survival

Bodyguard

Hal the "Bankrupt Kaiju"

Physical Size

Gigantic

Story

Additional Locations

The Creamy Lagoon

Polluted Carousal

Power Lagoon

Random Events

Potato Strikes the church bell

Bag of Lemons is being loudly arrested

Donkey is heard screaming

Toilet Is under a curse

World

Stores

Kylie's Basket Wardrobe

Patton's Butter Churner Solutions

Cook's Stool Warehouse

Peters's Shirt Couture

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Floor Net of Contentment

Objects

Basket children's replica

Stool made of heavy metal

Secret Butter Churner

Hidden Bottle

Gauntlet of Contentment

Wand of Wonder

1d10 nearby trees uproot and race to the nearest town square

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emerson Patton "Short Matzo Balls" Merchant Trucks Lions
Karter Cook "Casual Tongues" Mole Acorns Pillows
Leonardo Harrison Barber Football Soda
Kylie Munoz Zestful Physics Rubber Bands
Cecilia Peters Zestful Drinking Children's Stories

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).