The Director Welcomes You

The Insolent Computer Hunt

#8815ff

Location

Gorgeous, Overcast Mozambique

Time of Day

12:41

Extraction Point

134 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Meddlers,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Crowded Grove to look for a suspect by the name "King Manticore". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Big Momma".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Blanket in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Giovanni Johnston

Alias

"King Manticore"

Features

5' 5"

Green eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Union of Plump Daytime Tv

Emotions

Numb

Personality

Neatly Rabid

Motive

Take over a country for revenge

Bodyguard

Roberto the "Gigantic Sphinx"

Physical Size

Colossal

Story

Additional Locations

The Insolent Park

Hidden Creek

Calming Port

Random Events

Potato Is getting confiscated

VAT of Broth Is frozen into a block of ice

Soup runs over an infant

Chunk of Beef Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Margaret's Fruit Bowl Specialities

McDaniel's Hatrack Arcade

Duran's Platter Market

Meyer's Portrait Hole

Traps

Bear Trap

Portcullis of Prosperity

Objects

Fruit Bowl that has been hollowed out

Platter with a False bottom

Secret Hatrack

Hidden Bracer

Falchion of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are 5% likely to freeze solid

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Delilah McDaniel "Green Forearms" Merchant Contracts Mirrors
Natalia Duran "Small Matzo Balls" Mole Tissues Flashlights
Bryce Little Engineer Socks Hamsters
Margaret Campbell Master Distiller Soap Ice Cubes
Violet Meyer Townsfolk Glitter Stickers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).