The Director Welcomes You

The Trousers Endownment Incident

#81f41d

Location

Sunny, Foul United Arab Emirates

Time of Day

24:35

Extraction Point

110 Miles S

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
It seems "Three Sloth" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "Distant sounds of screaming at the Three Fingers". We need you to eliminate them, Daintily. Their last known location was recorded at 06:22. You have a Mechanical Umbrella as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Owen McBride

Alias

"Three Sloth"

Features

5' 1"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Union of Tiring Sludge

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Daintily Strong

Motive

Disrupt the military for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Prince the "Victorian Leech"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Regal Citadel

Overpopulated Grove

Excitement Lodge

Random Events

Demon Attempts to rob a bank

Dead Animal Is being detained

Pine Branch Is being detained

Chanting Cult Ignites violently

World

Stores

Brayden's Flower in Vase Ventures

Mullins's crutch Creative

Oconnor's Basket Beauty Stop

Becker's Doorway Mall

Traps

Crushing Room

Moving Executioner Statue of Endownment

Objects

Flower in Vase made of heavy metal

Basket that has been hollowed out

Secret crutch

Hidden Banana

Camera of Endownment

Wand of Wonder

Next horse touched by target turns into a small dinosaur

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lilly Mullins "Fast Bagels" Merchant Books Photography
Samantha Oconnor "Chunky Ribs" Mole Water Limes
Julia Bowman Butcher Slippers Glass
Brayden Schroeder Athlete Cousins Candy
Rose Becker Electrician Hammers Children's Stories

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).