The Director Welcomes You

The Understanding Silence Protocol

#5d1b15

Location

Dry, Foul New Zealand

Time of Day

19:10

Extraction Point

73 Miles S

Time to Complete

39 Hours

Operatives,
We need your help. Agent Bennett Nunez has gone missing and we believe "Slow Siren" is responsible. They were last seen in New Zealand at 20:06. The agent sent one final message – "Distant sounds of screaming at the Wizard's Scar". Take this Invisible Armchair - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Chloe Lawrence

Alias

"Slow Siren"

Features

4' 1"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Alliance of Egregious House

Emotions

Amused

Personality

Partially Lemon

Motive

Take over a country out of desperation

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Ancient Anteaters"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Insolent Maze

Polluted Jungle

Bitterness Maze

Random Events

Procession Is throwing a protest

Bank overflows

Milk Shipment scurries by

Panhandler catches on fire

World

Stores

Josiah's Ring Consulting

Guzman's End Table Convenience store

Jordan's Picture Frame Bazaar

Nunez's Medallion Industries

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Ghoul Touch of Silence

Objects

Ring that has been hollowed out

Picture Frame that is glowing

Secret End Table

Hidden Club

Falchion of Silence

Wand of Wonder

Weather in this area is supernaturally intense for 1d4 months 9995 While in this area, males are invisible to females, and vice versa

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Steven Guzman "Fast Feet" Merchant Jigsaw Puzzles Bears
Calvin Jordan "All Throats" Mole Notes Limes
Dean Fisher Midwife Trees Rabbits
Josiah Paul Exhilarated Quartz Crystals Whipped Cream
Bennett Nunez Stressed Trees Christmas

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).