The Director Welcomes You

The Quirkily Wrapped Agent

#bc54b1

Location

Windy, Arid Colombia

Time of Day

24:16

Extraction Point

72 Miles S

Time to Complete

12 Hours

Agents,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Picture Frame that has been hollowed out. Get to Colombia at 19:24

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Valentina Cooper

Alias

"Cheap Ogre"

Features

4' 10"

Gray eyes

A second belly button / Left thumb

Organization

The Society of Good Spoon

Emotions

Cautious

Personality

Quirkily Noxious

Motive

Take over a government for revenge

Bodyguard

Nancy the "Gigantic Ogre"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Wrapped Crypt

Overpopulated Lagoon

Catastrophe Fortress

Random Events

Nomad Finds gold in the water

Storm Skips merrily

Toilet Is throwing a BBQ

Carcass Protests

World

Stores

Brooke's Picture Frame Properties

Mclaughlin's Doorway Cosmetics

Bell's Tea Pot Properties

Dixon's Marionette Mall

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Fire of Virtue

Objects

Picture Frame that has been hollowed out

Tea Pot children's replica

Secret Doorway

Hidden Helmet

Handcuffs of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Caster can’t see any extra-planar creatures for one year 0635 Caster can’t see through glass, ice, diamond, or the like

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Micah Mclaughlin "Two Pastrami's" Merchant Octopus Oranges
Trinity Bell "Golden Lox" Mole Flashlights Writers
Aliyah Estrada Phantom Candy Rubber Bands
Brooke Garza Cranky Technology Scarves
Lily Dixon Professional Bridesmaid Sailboats Sticky Notes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).