The Director Welcomes You

Buttplug, Dragon, Chain, Spy.

#4df8af

Location

Warm, Overcast Zimbabwe

Time of Day

2:46

Extraction Point

56 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to underneathe a Expensive Chateau to look for a suspect by the name "Nice Yeti". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Dead Forest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Camera in your kit to help.

β€” The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Savannah Sharp

Alias

"Nice Yeti"

Features

4' 6"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Right leg

Organization

The Bureau of Incalculable Chain

Emotions

Uncertain

Personality

Lovingly Tasty

Motive

Make a lot of money for a love interest

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Creepy Chimera"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Sour Manor

Desolate Festival

Euthanasia Spring

Random Events

Bag of Flour Skips merrily

Chanting Cult Is frozen into a block of ice

Vegetable strikes the ground

Nomad Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Dean's Trophy Beauty Stop

Chang's Lounge Chair Collective

Cox's Easel Bazaar

Gutierrez's Tapestry Beauty Stop

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Rune of Paralyzation of Fatality

Objects

Trophy made of heavy metal

Easel that is glowing

Secret Lounge Chair

Hidden Greaves

Boomerang of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters a town, it’s besieged by orcs

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Christian Chang "Left Thumbs" Merchant Dinosaurs Physics
Morris Cox "Orange Bones" Mole Attention Sailboats
Silas Smith Engineer Washing Machines Bells
Dean Norman Chief Executive Officer Essential Oils Cookies
Brayden Gutierrez Statistician Harmonica Quartz Crystals

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).