The Director Welcomes You

Logistics Royale

#e095c3

Location

Hot, Cloudy Oman

Time of Day

14:15

Extraction Point

86 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Molly Sullivan has gone missing and we believe "Golden Cyclops" is responsible. They were last seen in Oman at 23:14. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Devil's barrow". Take this Robotic Lipstick - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lucia Kelley

Alias

"Golden Cyclops"

Features

7' 10"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The Committee of Jagged Babies

Emotions

Scared

Personality

Woefully Invisible

Motive

Make a lot of money out of survival

Bodyguard

Chuckie the "Sore Elves"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Hollow Lodge

Desolate Carousal

Delirium Masquerade

Random Events

Dancer Calls menacingly

Chauvinist Is being tortured

Princess Calls menacingly

Fairy Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Waylon's Bell Logistics

Hernandez's Basket Cosmetics

Scott's Painting Arcade

Sullivan's Pair of Statues Chic Chåteau

Traps

Crushing Room

Flame Strike of Virtue

Objects

Bell that is glowing

Painting children's replica

Secret Basket

Hidden Sling

Boomerang of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Caster can stretch his left arm 2X the length of his body

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Presley Hernandez "Two Lox" Merchant Comic Books Doors
Alexander Scott "Indigo Boy" Mole Bears Jazz
George Hicks Stressed Cartography Rock n' Roll
Waylon Woods Elevator Mechanic Sharks Water
Molly Sullivan Shadow Rabbits Candles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).