The Director Welcomes You

The Ancient Duck Insecurity

#ca10fe

Location

Bright, Stormy United Kingdom

Time of Day

5:52

Extraction Point

36 Miles SE

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "Two Goblins" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "A shadow passes at the Unicorn Nest". We need you to eliminate them, Broadly. Their last known location was recorded at 09:16. You have a Slippery Toothbrush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ava Pena

Alias

"Two Goblins"

Features

7' 4"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Company of Fried Recliner

Emotions

Brave

Personality

Broadly Thorough

Motive

Take over a country to become famous

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Gifted Ghost"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Ancient Maze

Underwater Sanctuary

Imperfection Citadel

Random Events

Soup Bounces oddly

Bard Salutes the adventurers

Diary Is being kidnapped

Cat Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

August's Glass Jars Supermarket

Goodwin's Creeping Vines Logistics

Malone's Chaise Labs

Luna's End Table Labs

Traps

Extended Bane

Wall Blade of Censorship

Objects

Glass Jars children's replica

Chaise with a False bottom

Secret Creeping Vines

Hidden Rock

Wrench of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

All who saw this casting stare at the target point until dawn

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zoey Goodwin "Left Elbows" Merchant Paperclips Dolphins
Joseph Malone "Indigo Falafels" Mole Chocolate Butterflies
Emerson Hubbard Banker Jazz Scarves
August Walker Cosmetologist Dolphins Money
Nicholas Luna Actor Rubber Stamps Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).