The Director Welcomes You

Market Royale

#59b6c4

Location

Cool, Rainy Barbados

Time of Day

23:28

Extraction Point

19 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "Yellow Vampires" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for money at the Painted Sands". We need you to eliminate them, Actually. Their last known location was recorded at 07:09. You have a Mechanical Hammer as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alex Ortiz

Alias

"Yellow Vampires"

Features

4' 5"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Clique of Quaint Temperature

Emotions

Irritated

Personality

Actually Extensive

Motive

Take over a government fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Carl the "Glamorous Platypuses"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Frilled Lake

Overpopulated Sanctuary

Bliss Masquerade

Random Events

Storm Becomes wounded

Biscuit gathers near a point of interest

Softball Is throwing a BBQ

Pickpocket scurries by

World

Stores

Ethan's Grandfather Clock Market

Cole's Toolbox Warehouse

Perry's File Cosmetics

Castro's Urn Bazaar

Traps

Large Net

Scything Blade of Expiration

Objects

Grandfather Clock with a False bottom

File that has been hollowed out

Secret Toolbox

Hidden Lighter

Gauntlet of Expiration

Wand of Wonder

All magic rings within 50 yards shine as brightly as the Sun

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Damian Cole "Dull Legs" Merchant Gym Memberships Paperclips
Marcus Perry "Fat Elbows" Mole Eggs Tea
Victoria Freeman Drunken Socks Glitter
Ethan Walsh Cheerful Cats Glass
Elise Castro Railroad Conductor Dinosaurs Television

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).