The Director Welcomes You

The Space Darkness Protocol

#ddaaee

Location

Stormy, Overcast Mozambique

Time of Day

14:47

Extraction Point

81 Miles SW

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Emerson Simpson has gone missing and we believe "Casual child" is responsible. They were last seen in Mozambique at 00:08. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Top of the carousel wheel". Take this Slippery Bottle - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Patrick Webb

Alias

"Casual child"

Features

5' 6"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Right eye

Organization

The Guild of Prehistoric Mass

Emotions

Hesitant

Personality

Offensively Swollen

Motive

Take over a country out of greed

Bodyguard

Prince the "Clumsy kobold"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Damp Chateau

Expensive Port

Downfall Island

Random Events

Keg skins a cat with his teeth

Herd of Chicken explodes

Rustler is being loudly arrested

Cauldron is robbed

World

Stores

Bryce's Pedestal International

Brewer's Fireplace Specialities

Rice's Cabinet Bureau

Simpson's Glass Jars Worldwide

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Moving Executioner Statue of Darkness

Objects

Pedestal made of heavy metal

Cabinet that has been hollowed out

Secret Fireplace

Hidden Key

Lipstick of Darkness

Wand of Wonder

Next puddle stepped in by target is a 16HD water elemental

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emmett Brewer "Gross Heels" Merchant Music Cats
Ethan Rice "Tough Pinky's" Mole Snowglobes Deodorant
Jordan Dunn Statistician Children's Stories Essential Oils
Bryce Walsh Judge Batteries Toilets
Emerson Simpson Fortune Cookie Writer Contracts Quartz Crystals

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).