The Director Welcomes You

The Loyally Wailing Agent

#0fe61b

Location

Windy, Warm Singapore

Time of Day

18:17

Extraction Point

184 Miles NW

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Five mammoth" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "A white horse dashes past at the Beast's Maze". We need you to eliminate them, Loyally. Their last known location was recorded at 07:14. You have a Vicious Barstool as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Messiah Powers

Alias

"Five mammoth"

Features

4' 6"

Heterochromia eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Association of Boiling Pineapple

Emotions

Insecure

Personality

Loyally Brief

Motive

Disrupt the military to save humanity

Bodyguard

James the "Mossy Merfolk"

Physical Size

Considerable

Story

Additional Locations

The Wailing Citadel

Pitch Black Grove

Downfall Sanctuary

Random Events

Panhandler Catches leprosy

Nearby Gas Tank explodes

Majestic Painting meets disaster

Odor Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Katherine's Tea Pot Solutions

Robbins's Large book Arcade

Carroll's Toolbox International

Lambert's Fire poker set Threads

Traps

Flooding Room

Object Smeared with Poison of Downfall

Objects

Tea Pot that is glowing

Toolbox made of heavy metal

Secret Large book

Hidden Watch

Blowgun of Downfall

Wand of Wonder

Target teleports to a barren, arctic wasteland for 1d4+1 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Elijah Robbins "Mini Waffles" Merchant Hammers Harmonica
Asher Carroll "Junior Tongues" Mole Rabbits Whipped Cream
Brielle Miles Plumber Children's Stories Tissues
Katherine Potter Chief Executive Officer Lamps Trucks
Sydney Lambert Old Timer Fire Death

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).