The Director Welcomes You

Who is Emily Hook?

#fe67cc

Location

Dull, Breezy Bangladesh

Time of Day

2:43

Extraction Point

93 Miles NE

Time to Complete

12 Hours

Investigators,
I have sent you to climb a Bustling Festival to look for a suspect by the name "Quiet Minotaur". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to uncover their plans. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Crossroads".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Evil Barstool in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hadley Park

Alias

"Quiet Minotaur"

Features

7' 10"

Green eyes

Small mole / Crotch

Organization

The Department of Rancid Honey

Emotions

Spiteful

Personality

Unimpressively Alive

Motive

Take over a government to lust for power

Bodyguard

Emily the "Scrawny Kangaroos"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Victorian Festival

Desolate Lagoon

Exuberance Peninsula

Random Events

Bag of Flour Bursts loudly

Bellhop Bounces oddly

Swarm of Bees Attempts to rob a bank

Hound Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Blake's Canopy Bed Wardrobe

Chandler's Brass Replica Boutique

Vazquez's Kitchen table Bureau

Lindsey's Flower in Vase Couture

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Suspicious door with lock of Stealth

Objects

Canopy Bed with a False bottom

Kitchen table made of heavy metal

Secret Brass Replica

Hidden Blades

Greaves of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

Target is suddenly on the verge of an important breakthrough

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Eleanor Chandler "Sharp Pastrami's" Merchant Tea Cats
Ariana Vazquez "Bullet Lox" Mole Candy Physics
Blake Riley Stressed Glass Fire
Blake Baldwin Waiter Houses Easter
Tricia Lindsey Musician Sticky Notes Rocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).