The Director Welcomes You

The Heavily Embarrassed Agent

#0a681e

Location

Cloudless, Miserable Laos

Time of Day

23:34

Extraction Point

7 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Eyeballs,
It seems "Obese Cockatrice" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "A thick fog rolls in at the Boneyard". We need you to eliminate them, Heavily. Their last known location was recorded at 22:17. You have a Invisible Wrench as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Emmanuel Black

Alias

"Obese Cockatrice"

Features

4' 1"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Incorporated of Clumsy Rub

Emotions

Absorbed

Personality

Heavily Plain

Motive

Disrupt the military in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

John the "Consensual starfish"

Physical Size

Gigantic

Story

Additional Locations

The Embarrassed Festival

Ancient Manor

Secrecy Fortress

Random Events

Beggar Protests

Skeleton Is getting confiscated

Beggar Glistens gently

Crazy Man stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Valerie's Bed Couture

Byrd's Globe Little shop

Santiago's Fire poker set Creative

Ward's Bell Worldwide

Traps

Bear Trap

Dropping Ceiling of Extermination

Objects

Bed made of heavy metal

Fire poker set children's replica

Secret Globe

Hidden Gauntlet

Stave of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

Target races to the nearest cave entrance

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aiden Byrd "Junior Brains" Merchant Rocks Sun Glasses
Ezra Santiago "Three Pinky's" Mole Sharp Things Water
Josephine Stevens Frustrated Candles Slippers
Valerie Chen Veterinarian Tea Television
Mateo Ward Psychiatrist Stickers Rabbits

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).