The Director Welcomes You

The Jizz Annihilation Incident

#d60766

Location

Windless, Balmy Georgia

Time of Day

14:53

Extraction Point

170 Miles S

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Scrutinizers,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Underground Circus . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Fast Mummy" is responsible and they sent us this message - "Clouds develop quickly at the Seven Dead". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Fluffy Nuts and Bolts hidden on you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nicholas Wilson

Alias

"Fast Mummy"

Features

5' 6"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Bureau of Lively Control

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Obediently Broken

Motive

Disrupt the military to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Melted Centaur"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Chewy Business

Crowded Peninsula

Censorship Lodge

Random Events

Storm meets disaster

Renaissance Faire explodes

Dracula Bursts loudly

Panhandler overflows

World

Stores

Edward's Bicycle Logistics

Hoffman's Pipe Unlimited

Barnes's Doorway Hole

Ortiz's Kitchen table Collective

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Poison Dart of Annihilation

Objects

Bicycle made of heavy metal

Doorway children's replica

Secret Pipe

Hidden Gauntlet

Greaves of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

Undead tend to ignore the caster until he acts against them

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sara Hoffman "Junior Churros" Merchant Doves Physics
Richard Barnes "Big Parmigianas" Mole Cellphones Books
Morris Newton Surveyor Paperclips Jazz
Edward Wheeler Physician Pillows Mirrors
Andrew Ortiz Old Timer Paper Plushies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).