The Director Welcomes You

Bazaar Royale

#7d5a8e

Location

Overcast, Foul Poland

Time of Day

12:26

Extraction Point

167 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
As you can see you are trapped inside be locked inside of a Abandoned Lagoon . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Italian Cat" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A lone flower growing at the Dead Forest". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Colorful Belt hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Emilia Goodman

Alias

"Italian Cat"

Features

6' 9"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The Department of Elegant Management

Emotions

Rejected

Personality

Zealously Scaley

Motive

Take over a government to become rich

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Gifted Kangaroos"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Handsome House

Overpopulated Citadel

Mania Tower

Random Events

Gang Becomes wounded

Demon chase a suspect

Nearby Gas Tank overflows

Dracula Finds gold in the water

World

Stores

Alex's Diary Bazaar

Rojas's Fireplace Bureau

Nelson's Flowers Growing Market

Graves's Bureau Brothers

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Chain Lightning of Annihilation

Objects

Diary made of heavy metal

Flowers Growing children's replica

Secret Fireplace

Hidden Collar

Collar of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he’s water soluble

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Bryson Rojas "Chunky Feet" Merchant Mirrors Fire
Adam Nelson "Silver Forearms" Mole Shirts Octopus
Eliana Vega Bruised Cooking Sticky Notes
Alex Warren Elder Sailboats Rock n' Roll
Elliott Graves Spirit Houses Rubber Stamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).