The Director Welcomes You

The Computer Prosperity Protocol

#34fbd8

Location

Wet, Stormy Canada

Time of Day

2:41

Extraction Point

184 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Meddlers,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Desolate Palace . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Meaty Cat" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A pool of blood at the Unicorn Nest". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Sharp Blender hidden on you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hunter Holmes

Alias

"Meaty Cat"

Features

5' 11"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Neck

Organization

The Incorporated of Loud Stomach

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Helpfully Rapid

Motive

Disrupt the military to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Sore Eel"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Howling Jungle

Touristy Villa

Annihilation Chateau

Random Events

Biscuit Protests

Corncob Catches leprosy

Whore approaches

Herd of Chicken strikes the ground

World

Stores

Catherine's Shoe Horn Market

Banks's Bonsai Hole

Tyler's Bible Specialities

Powell's Landscape Closet

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Camouflaged Pit of Prosperity

Objects

Shoe Horn that has been hollowed out

Bible that is glowing

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Chastity Belt

Pen of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

Caster ate two or three pounds of apple seeds this morning

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mackenzie Banks "Cheap Cheesecakes" Merchant Houses Candles
Katherine Tyler "Sharp Dumplings" Mole Soccer Teeth
Brielle Washington Human Statue Clocks Lamps
Catherine Henderson Paramedic Lipstick Mirrors
Jordan Powell Annoyed Essential Oils Quartz Crystals

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).