The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Meaty Paper Bag

#33b389

Location

Balmy, Dark Côte d’Ivoire

Time of Day

21:21

Extraction Point

81 Miles N

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Mia Turner has gone missing and we believe "All Siren" is responsible. They were last seen in Côte d’Ivoire at 06:01. The agent sent one final message – "A black cat runs past at the Rainbow Mountain". Take this Dull Bandana - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Tristan Horton

Alias

"All Siren"

Features

7' 2"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Order of Boiling Advice

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Gently Scarce

Motive

Take over a government because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Charles the "Brutish Opossums"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Meaty Forge

Touristy Arcade

Disaster Circus

Random Events

Squirrel Protests

Donkey Is being detained

Tramp runs over an infant

Keg Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Silas's Suit of armor Ventures

Hunter's Clamp Wardrobe

Bailey's Crock Chic Chåteau

Turner's Ring Brothers

Traps

Bestow Curse

Tripping Chain of Amnesia

Objects

Suit of armor made of heavy metal

Crock children's replica

Secret Clamp

Hidden Sword

Banana of Amnesia

Wand of Wonder

Target is dressed like a court jester

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Maximus Hunter "Obese Dumplings" Merchant Balloons Sponges
Gael Bailey "Sharp Noses" Mole Flowers Chili
Levi Jackson Barber Money Doors
Silas Wise Lawyer Rock n' Roll Water
Mia Turner Intoxicated Harmonica Children's Stories

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).