The Director Welcomes You

The Kindly Flabby Agent

#37bcef

Location

Gorgeous, Overcast Sierra Leone

Time of Day

0:12

Extraction Point

193 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Informants,
It seems "All Sloth" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a random cow at the Dragon's Sea". We need you to eliminate them, Kindly. Their last known location was recorded at 11:24. You have a Feminine Banana as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Luna Gardner

Alias

"All Sloth"

Features

6' 3"

Red eyes

Small mole / Neck

Organization

The Association of Full Tape

Emotions

Embarrassed

Personality

Kindly Disruptive

Motive

Make a lot of money to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Avian Platypuses"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Flabby Mansion

Pitch Black Lagoon

Excitement Forge

Random Events

Whore chase a suspect

Deadbeat Is getting confiscated

Butter Shipment overflows

Buccaneer is loose

World

Stores

Mackenzie's Large book Ventures

Pratt's Urn Threads

Garner's Shelf of alcohol Hole

Chambers's Bed Couture

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Tripping Chain of Annihilation

Objects

Large book with a False bottom

Shelf of alcohol with a False bottom

Secret Urn

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Newspaper of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

Target is discovered to be an agent of the king

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Bryce Pratt "Orange Tongues" Merchant Water Teeth
Nicole Garner "Big Feet" Mole Cats Cousins
Valeria Owens Townsfolk Flowers Lipstick
Mackenzie Townsend Police Officer Football Cooking
Jameson Chambers Engineer Scarves Soda

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).