The Director Welcomes You

Who is Randy Clam?

#94d66f

Location

Dull, Mild Estonia

Time of Day

6:40

Extraction Point

169 Miles SE

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Benjamin Tyler has gone missing and we believe "Slow all-seeing eye" is responsible. They were last seen in Estonia at 13:01. The agent sent one final message – "A roll of thunder at the giants footsteps". Take this Soft Chewing Gum - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Noah Cobb

Alias

"Slow all-seeing eye"

Features

7' 9"

Heterochromia eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Agency of Nefarious Slime

Emotions

Tenderness

Personality

Interestingly Mecha

Motive

Make a lot of money to lust for power

Bodyguard

Randy the "Clumsy Leprechaun"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Irrelevant Port

Touristy Spring

Destruction Lagoon

Random Events

Woman Bursts loudly

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is being kidnapped

Nearby Gas Tank Is under a curse

German Trench Club is robbed

World

Stores

Jayden's Lamp Beauty Stop

Castro's Flower in Vase Bureau

Woods's Skeletal Animal Worldwide

Tyler's Basket Mall

Traps

Tripping Chain

Extended Bane of Destruction

Objects

Lamp that has been hollowed out

Skeletal Animal that has been hollowed out

Secret Flower in Vase

Hidden Credit Card

Pen of Destruction

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t be burned by acid if he cuts off both of his thumbs

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Robert Castro "Yellow Noses" Merchant Slippers Quartz Crystals
Annabelle Woods "No Kidneys" Mole Money Lamps
Jeremiah Mack Blacksmith Chickens Broccoli
Jayden Simon The Body Ice Cubes Washing Machines
Benjamin Tyler Frustrated Tissues Sharks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).