The Director Welcomes You

Who is George Erection?

#72921e

Location

Cloudless, Windless Jamaica

Time of Day

9:58

Extraction Point

20 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Examiners,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Oil Lamp that is glowing. Get to Jamaica at 24:03

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eleanor Morgan

Alias

"Plump Bigfoot"

Features

6' 11"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Department of Yummy Mother

Emotions

Resentful

Personality

Swiftly Low

Motive

Make a lot of money for revenge

Bodyguard

George the "Holy Cockatrice"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Melodic Port

Deserted Fortress

Dark Barn Dance

Random Events

Milk Shipment overflows

Vagrant Is accused by the law

Woman chase a suspect

Wanderer arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Brayden's Oil Lamp Emporium

Yang's Kitchen table Factory

Carroll's Lamp Closet

Garza's Picture Frame Closet

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Bestow Curse of Fatality

Objects

Oil Lamp that is glowing

Lamp with a False bottom

Secret Kitchen table

Hidden Rapier

File of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

Once per day, caster can render glass opaque for 1d4 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mariah Yang "Blue Ankles" Merchant Coffee Television
Samantha Carroll "Violet Falafels" Mole Rubber Stamps Sponges
Olivia Matthews Meteorologist Photography Lamps
Brayden Lloyd Demon Glitter Washing Machines
Lillian Garza Shadow Fire Broccoli

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).