The Director Welcomes You

The Awkwardly Tight Agent

#f2001f

Location

Balmy, Calm Congo, Democratic Republic of the

Time of Day

14:31

Extraction Point

37 Miles S

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Matteo Wang has gone missing and we believe "All Golem" is responsible. They were last seen in Congo, Democratic Republic of the at 03:05. The agent sent one final message – "A roll of thunder at the Beast's Maze". Take this Feminine Purse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Zayden May

Alias

"All Golem"

Features

6' 6"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Brotherhood of Ugliest Twist

Emotions

Frustrated

Personality

Awkwardly Grumpy

Motive

Disrupt the military in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Gigantic Camel"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Tight Island

Crowded Mansion

Fate City

Random Events

Crowd meets disaster

Jug of Peanut Butter grabs a lady's purse

Thief Is under a curse

Hoard Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Anna's Portrait Brothers

Harvey's Plaster Bust Labs

Harvey's Oil Lamp Department store

Wang's Candelabra Emporium

Traps

Scything Blade

Bestow Curse of Rage

Objects

Portrait with a False bottom

Oil Lamp children's replica

Secret Plaster Bust

Hidden Polearm

Polearm of Rage

Wand of Wonder

If hit by a bludgeon on a natural 20, caster loses all fear

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Tyler Harvey "Heavy Livers" Merchant Sponges Football
Ryan Harvey "Left Forearms" Mole Sun Glasses Drinking
Cole Peterson Musician Quartz Crystals Lamps
Anna Jensen Operator Candles Potatoes
Matteo Wang Pharmacist Cooking Scarves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).