The Director Welcomes You

The Tinkling Effigy Predicament

#a842a0

Location

Chilly, Dry Poland

Time of Day

1:53

Extraction Point

178 Miles S

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Spy Deputies,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Rundown Casino to look for a suspect by the name "Drowsy Seal". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shadow passes at the Field of Wildflowers".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Slippery Cigarette in your kit to help.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aria Wheeler

Alias

"Drowsy Seal"

Features

4' 7"

Red eyes

A second belly button / Right leg

Organization

The Club of Quick Fight

Emotions

Lust

Personality

Rigidly Huge

Motive

Make a lot of money because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Sam the "Itchy Zombie"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Tinkling Business

Rundown Peninsula

Disaster Forge

Random Events

Softball runs over an infant

Vegetable Is throwing a BBQ

Odor Bursts loudly

Squirrel meets disaster

World

Stores

Mckenzie's Key Beauty Stop

Guzman's Telescope Productions

Cunningham's Coat Discount

Walters's Paperweight Beauty Stop

Traps

Scything Blade

Crushing Room of Annihilation

Objects

Key that has been hollowed out

Coat made of heavy metal

Secret Telescope

Hidden Collar

Sticks of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

Next potion imbibed by caster makes him sweat blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Paisley Guzman "Junior Legs" Merchant Broccoli Batteries
Zion Cunningham "Heavy Pinky's" Mole Bracelets Drinking
Emily Davidson Old Man Rubber Bands Ice Cubes
Mckenzie Dawson Scientist Tigers Lions
Julian Walters The Body Trees Butterflies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).