The Director Welcomes You

Who is Bobby Underwear?

#4e40d7

Location

Mild, Windy Kuwait

Time of Day

5:31

Extraction Point

151 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Eyeballs,
It seems "Short Ghost" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "A black cat runs past at the Frozen palace". We need you to eliminate them, Faithfully. Their last known location was recorded at 08:07. You have a Clean Condom as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eliza Adams

Alias

"Short Ghost"

Features

4' 9"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Bureau of Purple Spa

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Faithfully Mastadonic

Motive

Take over a country out of survival

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Slimey Vampires"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Insidious Carousal

Hidden Mansion

Fire House

Random Events

Swarm of Bees catches on fire

Husband Is under a curse

Bard Glistens gently

Bottle of Soy Sauce Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Emmett's Staircase Little shop

Turner's Bible Outlet

Hunt's Doorway Atelier

Cannon's Suit of armor Consulting

Traps

Black Tentacles

Poisoned Arrow of Delight

Objects

Staircase with a False bottom

Doorway children's replica

Secret Bible

Hidden Wrench

Soy Sauce Packet of Delight

Wand of Wonder

Caster finds a book that will shatter his sanity if he reads it

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adam Turner "Wild Arms" Merchant Stickers Snowglobes
Jesse Hunt "Slow Throats" Mole Bells Death
Isabelle Berry Envious Tigers Christmas
Emmett Jordan Ghost Technology Football
Zion Cannon Bounty hunter Rabbits Sticks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).