The Director Welcomes You

The Cemetery Grave Consequences Incident

#8320a0

Location

Foggy, Warm Yemen

Time of Day

5:29

Extraction Point

149 Miles E

Time to Complete

17 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Elise Campos has gone missing and we believe "Cramped Manticore" is responsible. They were last seen in Yemen at 08:06. The agent sent one final message – "A pool of blood at the Apple Orchard". Take this Clean Barstool - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Oliver Weaver

Alias

"Cramped Manticore"

Features

6' 5"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Left middle finger

Organization

The Authority of Depressed Pizza

Emotions

Dreading

Personality

Fervently Tinkling

Motive

Disrupt the military to become famous

Bodyguard

James the "Jealous Gnome"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Brief Acropolis

Polluted Business

Darkness Shelter

Random Events

Buccaneer meets disaster

Odor Is being detained

Dozen Eggs Is frozen into a block of ice

Hoard gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Jesus's Figurine Market

Mendoza's Globe Cosmetics

Mendoza's Bell Consulting

Campos's Candle Brothers

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Reverse Gravity of Grave Consequences

Objects

Figurine that has been hollowed out

Bell that is glowing

Secret Globe

Hidden Blades

Guthook of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Target sprouts a long, prehensile tail from his chest

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ximena Mendoza "Violet Heels" Merchant Octopus Oranges
Morgan Mendoza "Gross Cheesecakes" Mole Technology Whipped Cream
Mariah Bryant Broker Trucks Glass
Jesus Johnston Frustrated Photography Cousins
Elise Campos Blacksmith Attention Limes

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).