The Director Welcomes You

The Spicy Internet Job

#757c98

Location

Breezy, Dull Andorra

Time of Day

19:59

Extraction Point

98 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "King Gnome" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Music Store". We need you to eliminate them, Suspiciously. Their last known location was recorded at 24:00. You have a Delicate Guitar as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Isla Quinn

Alias

"King Gnome"

Features

7' 6"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Sisterhood of Depressed Hook

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Suspiciously Turbulent

Motive

Disrupt the military to become famous

Bodyguard

Ali the "Obedient Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Spicy Fortress

Polluted Suburbs

Indecision Maze

Random Events

Corncob gathers near a point of interest

Hound Ignites violently

Soup is robbed

Prostitute Glistens gently

World

Stores

Owen's Notebook Collective

Moore's Platter Boutique

Hudson's Hose Emporium

Holland's Stool Solutions

Traps

Blade Barrier

Blade Barrier of Power

Objects

Notebook children's replica

Hose that has been hollowed out

Secret Platter

Hidden Club

Cat of Power

Wand of Wonder

People who meet target for the first time promptly forget him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
James Moore "Fast Heels" Merchant Doves Horses
Bailey Hudson "Sharp Tongues" Mole Tigers Doves
Julia Doyle Elder Robots Boxes
Owen Turner Graphic Designer Cousins Cats
Jordan Holland Farmer Ice Cubes Flashlights

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).