The Director Welcomes You

The Contemporary Wilderness Insecurity

#ac9bce

Location

Dull, Breezy Grenada

Time of Day

21:34

Extraction Point

198 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to underneathe a Rundown Island to look for a suspect by the name "Tough Succubus". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The earth shakes briefly at the Sacrificial Hole".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Bulbous Camera in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Quinn Miller

Alias

"Tough Succubus"

Features

6' 6"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Committee of Salty Election

Emotions

Ambivalent

Personality

Highly Immense

Motive

Take over a country to become famous

Bodyguard

Nick the "Shitty Minotaur"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Contemporary Lake

Archaic Lagoon

Downfall Forest

Random Events

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is being detained

Bag of Lemons Glistens gently

Softball scurries by

Gunshot chase a suspect

World

Stores

Richard's Telescope Market

Lynch's Bed Du jour

Olson's Faberge Egg Logistics

Cook's Window Discount

Traps

Fireball

Suspicious door with lock of Rage

Objects

Telescope that is glowing

Faberge Egg with a False bottom

Secret Bed

Hidden Bangle

Trident of Rage

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are invisible to birds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sherri Lynch "Plump Ankles" Merchant Football Glass
Harmony Olson "Stiff Toes" Mole Doors Cartography
Margaret Walsh Paramedic Sun Glasses Bread
Richard Warren Pharmacist Pillows Rocks
Alaina Cook Zestful Eggs Baseball

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).