The Director Welcomes You

Chic Chåteau Royale

#2f9062

Location

Hot, Dry Kyrgyzstan

Time of Day

0:50

Extraction Point

200 Miles SE

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Scrutinizers,
I have sent you to within earshot of a Hidden Masquerade to look for a suspect by the name "Big Kangaroos". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to discover their location. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Sacrificial Hole".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Polished Clock in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lydia Banks

Alias

"Big Kangaroos"

Features

5' 8"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Left leg

Organization

The Society of Plain Exam

Emotions

Insulted

Personality

Dutifully Millions

Motive

Take over a government justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Nick the "Chunky Owlman"

Physical Size

Colossal

Story

Additional Locations

The Elevated Creek

Expensive Forest

Obsession Forest

Random Events

Gallon of Trash scurries by

Sewer Is being tortured

Corncob Bounces oddly

Vagabond Protests

World

Stores

Hayden's Cabinet Chic Chåteau

Weber's Ceramic Crock Industries

Franklin's Wardrobe Department store

Todd's Sink Logistics

Traps

Ice lock

Bear Trap of Cheer

Objects

Cabinet made of heavy metal

Wardrobe children's replica

Secret Ceramic Crock

Hidden Credit Card

Axe of Cheer

Wand of Wonder

Caster dies painfully but arises at dawn having gained one level

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hudson Weber "One Livers" Merchant Bears Lions
Marcus Franklin "Silver Lox" Mole Horses Flowers
Jayce Garcia Indifferent Water Dinosaurs
Hayden Welch Optimistic Tea Rock n' Roll
Julian Todd Physician Chocolate Soccer

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).