The Director Welcomes You

The Dreamily Pre-Pubescent Agent

#f0f91c

Location

Cloudy, Breezy Armenia

Time of Day

24:26

Extraction Point

24 Miles N

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to circle a Crowded Lagoon to look for a suspect by the name "Fat Elephant". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Seven Dead".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Mechanical Stapler in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Evan Gray

Alias

"Fat Elephant"

Features

4' 7"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Left arm

Organization

The company of Creamy Pelican

Emotions

Envious

Personality

Dreamily Calamitous

Motive

Make a lot of money out of desperation

Bodyguard

Simon the "Annoying Hobgoblin"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Pre-Pubescent Arcade

Expensive Carnival

Oblivion Park

Random Events

Robber is robbed

Squirrel Integrates silently into the group

Musical Balances on a ledge

Tramp explodes

World

Stores

Isabelle's Bottle Solutions

Saunders's Footlocker Productions

Gallagher's Window Bureau

Mendoza's Chaise Beauty Stop

Traps

Flooding Room

Javelin of The Blackest Black

Objects

Bottle with a False bottom

Window made of heavy metal

Secret Footlocker

Hidden Crossbow

Collar of The Blackest Black

Wand of Wonder

Each day, caster insists on being called by a different name

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hudson Saunders "Short Falafels" Merchant Cats Honey
Evan Gallagher "Big Hands" Mole Jazz Rock n' Roll
Vivian Williamson Ghost Eggs Quartz Crystals
Isabelle Ayala Journalist Christmas Chalk
Xander Mendoza Flirty Slippers Jigsaw Puzzles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).