The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Nutty Scotch

#7b58d9

Location

Warm, Icy Madagascar

Time of Day

17:8

Extraction Point

61 Miles E

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Mason Ryan has gone missing and we believe "Slow gorgon" is responsible. They were last seen in Madagascar at 18:14. The agent sent one final message – "The earth shakes briefly at the Apple Orchard". Take this Glowing Battery - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Raelynn Gallagher

Alias

"Slow gorgon"

Features

4' 4"

Blue eyes

Large moles / Right hand

Organization

The Fraternity of Tangy Hook

Emotions

Anticipating

Personality

Easily Uptight

Motive

Make a lot of money to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Jack the "Panicky Chimera"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Nutty Lodge

Deserted Grove

Perspiration Citadel

Random Events

Amulet skins a cat with his teeth

Delivery Guy Is getting confiscated

Ninja Finds gold in the water

Bellhop Bursts loudly

World

Stores

Norah's Marionette Brothers

Navarro's Picture Frame Emporium

Marshall's Sofa Beauty Stop

Ryan's Painting Outlet

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Camouflaged Pit of Cleanliness

Objects

Marionette made of heavy metal

Sofa children's replica

Secret Picture Frame

Hidden Helmet

Throwing Dart of Cleanliness

Wand of Wonder

Caster is held responsible for the massacre of innocent townsfolk

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ashley Navarro "Wild Tongues" Merchant Mirrors Soda
Emery Marshall "No Falafels" Mole Water Boxes
Luis Luna Depressed Tissues Flashlights
Norah Rice Actor Acorns Flashlights
Mason Ryan Mechanic Pillows Contracts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).