The Director Welcomes You

Market Royale

#cfd877

Location

Foul, Icy San Marino

Time of Day

19:42

Extraction Point

124 Miles NE

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "One Pheonix" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the graveyard". We need you to eliminate them, Sternly. Their last known location was recorded at 14:10. You have a Invisible Can Opener as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Taylor Wade

Alias

"One Pheonix"

Features

4' 5"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The Society of Scrawny Scales

Emotions

Sad

Personality

Sternly Holy

Motive

Disrupt the military because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Darnell the "Cocky Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Helpful City

Bustling Barn Dance

Delight Acropolis

Random Events

Bellhop chase a suspect

Reindeer Calls menacingly

Box of Mice scurries by

Biscuit Is being detained

World

Stores

Robert's Lipstick Market

Phillips's Pedestal Atelier

Francis's Toolbox Atelier

Jordan's Footlocker Hole

Traps

Flame Strike

Poison Needle of Silence

Objects

Lipstick made of heavy metal

Toolbox made of heavy metal

Secret Pedestal

Hidden Boomerang

Bracelet of Silence

Wand of Wonder

Swords in target’s presence drip with his blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aubree Phillips "Heavy Ankles" Merchant Music Video Games
Fiona Francis "Four Cheesecakes" Mole Money Physics
Teagan Kim Intoxicated Squirrels Balloons
Robert Brooks Ghost Sailboats Bread
Nova Jordan Chief Executive Officer Photography Physics

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).