The Director Welcomes You

Warehouse Royale

#c812b5

Location

Breezy, Miserable Romania

Time of Day

20:58

Extraction Point

136 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

34 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to underneathe a Touristy Acropolis to look for a suspect by the name "Short Gargoyle". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Ghost Town".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Purse in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Timothy Hampton

Alias

"Short Gargoyle"

Features

6' 3"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right arm

Organization

The Task Force of Encrusted Thumb

Emotions

Eager

Personality

Brightly Brutish

Motive

Take over a government to become rich

Bodyguard

David the "Long Horse"

Physical Size

Colossal

Story

Additional Locations

The Dank Sanctuary

Deserted Carousal

Passion Lagoon

Random Events

Robber strikes the ground

Transport is robbed

Husband Salutes the adventurers

Herd of Chicken Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Mackenzie's Drawers Warehouse

Lawrence's Pipe Ventures

Beck's Pair of Statues Cosmetics

Andrews's Bench Industries

Traps

Falling Block

Crushing Room of Virtue

Objects

Drawers that is glowing

Pair of Statues children's replica

Secret Pipe

Hidden Lipstick

Spear of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Target regenerates one hit point for each pint of blood he drinks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Daniel Lawrence "Black Arms" Merchant Jigsaw Puzzles Glass
Rhett Beck "Left Throats" Mole Chalk Children's Stories
Maddox Holland Flirty Rock n' Roll Chickens
Mackenzie Lang Firefighter Comic Books Money
Jasmine Andrews Dead Tired Quartz Crystals Tea

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).