The Director Welcomes You

The Flabby Control Assignment

#f1229d

Location

Windy, Warm Costa Rica

Time of Day

14:32

Extraction Point

154 Miles NW

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Meddlers,
It seems "Five Wendigo" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "Clouds develop quickly at the hive". We need you to eliminate them, Clearly. Their last known location was recorded at 01:16. You have a Dull Purse as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Charlie Jensen

Alias

"Five Wendigo"

Features

7' 7"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Right thumb

Organization

The company of Jealous Chili

Emotions

Weary

Personality

Clearly Hollow

Motive

Make a lot of money for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Grumpy Bull"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Flabby Creek

Hidden Manor

Stealth Carnival

Random Events

Squirrel Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Bank Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Diary strikes the ground

Rhapsody meets disaster

World

Stores

Kaiden's Vase Arcade

Sanders's Stool Technologies

Guerrero's Suit of armor Brothers

Mack's Bicycle Consulting

Traps

Tripping Chain

Javelin of Contentment

Objects

Vase with a False bottom

Suit of armor that has been hollowed out

Secret Stool

Hidden Newspaper

Stave of Contentment

Wand of Wonder

Caster seeks sanctuary in the nearest brothel

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sawyer Sanders "Italian Thumbs" Merchant Doors Lions
Nicholas Guerrero "Blue Lungs" Mole Slippers Teeth
Hannah Kelly Consultant Pillows Washing Machines
Kaiden Barnes Physician Photography Socks
Madison Mack Dog surfing instructor Shirts Soap

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).