The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Drooping Newspaper

#f11542

Location

Gloomy, Wet Portugal

Time of Day

1:9

Extraction Point

140 Miles N

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Eyeballs,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Overpopulated Masquerade . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Dull Cyclops" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Dragon's Sea". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Angry Spoon hidden on you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elias Hodges

Alias

"Dull Cyclops"

Features

5' 10"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Left foot

Organization

The Union of Vacant Hospital

Emotions

Numb

Personality

Promptly Baleful

Motive

Make a lot of money to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Hissing Meerkat"

Physical Size

Elder

Story

Additional Locations

The Drooping Lodge

Polluted City

Fragility Mansion

Random Events

Procession is heard screaming

Midwife Skips merrily

VAT of Broth Is being tortured

Bottle of Soy Sauce Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Jade's File Mall

Campbell's Stamp Set Warehouse

French's Spice shelf Brothers

Robbins's Bureau Atelier

Traps

Floor Net

Arrow of Endownment

Objects

File that is glowing

Spice shelf children's replica

Secret Stamp Set

Hidden Bangle

Wrench of Endownment

Wand of Wonder

A basement’s been installed in caster’s home while he’s been away

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ashton Campbell "All Cappuccinos" Merchant Plushies Slippers
Ruby French "Four Matzo Balls" Mole Notes Teeth
Leilani Lang Artist Coffee Easter
Jade Davis Scientist Sharks Money
Max Robbins Scientist Gym Memberships Technology

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).