The Director Welcomes You

Collective Royale

#4cbaef

Location

Icy, Foggy Trinidad and Tobago

Time of Day

23:18

Extraction Point

14 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Meddlers,
It seems "Yellow Sloth" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "A shrine is nearby at the Stone Circle". We need you to eliminate them, Longingly. Their last known location was recorded at 21:06. You have a Mechanical Hammock as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Xander Moody

Alias

"Yellow Sloth"

Features

6' 1"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Alliance of Repulsive Computer

Emotions

Cautious

Personality

Longingly Jocular

Motive

Take over a country to be left alone

Bodyguard

Carl the "Stoned Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Heavy Barn Dance

Overpopulated Forest

Fragility Creek

Random Events

Crying Child overflows

Store Adopts a nearby child

Corncob Balances on a ledge

Tramp Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

Blake's Bell Collective

Mclaughlin's Sofa Productions

Webb's Coat Industries

Cannon's Candle Brothers

Traps

Javelin

Falling Block of Redemption

Objects

Bell children's replica

Coat children's replica

Secret Sofa

Hidden Club

Soy Sauce Packet of Redemption

Wand of Wonder

Caster can’t use non-magical blades for 1d6 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Rachel Mclaughlin "Little Matzo Balls" Merchant Jigsaw Puzzles Dolphins
Camila Webb "Cramped Eyes" Mole Soda Glitter
Nora Medina Mechanic Eggs Coffee
Blake Spencer Waiter Hamsters Rubber Bands
Angel Cannon Plumber Notes Lamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).