The Director Welcomes You

The Colorfully Weak Agent

#26e374

Location

Cool, Cool North Macedonia

Time of Day

23:19

Extraction Point

41 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Scrutinizers,
It seems "Golden Orcs" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "The earth shakes briefly at the Unicorn Nest". We need you to eliminate them, Colorfully. Their last known location was recorded at 15:16. You have a Feminine Tissues as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kevin Cohen

Alias

"Golden Orcs"

Features

7' 7"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Left leg

Organization

The League of Scary Pool

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Colorfully Sparkling

Motive

Make a lot of money justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Dusty The Grim Reaper"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Weak Creek

Crowded Carnival

Fate Pond

Random Events

Bum Strikes the church bell

Potato Is throwing a protest

Woman runs over an infant

Whore Is accused by the law

World

Stores

Guy's Stamp Set Hole

Nelson's Bible Collective

Rodriguez's Drawers Productions

Hunt's Bible Bureau

Traps

Portcullis

Box of Brown Mold of Animosity

Objects

Stamp Set that is glowing

Drawers that is glowing

Secret Bible

Hidden Mace

Soy Sauce Packet of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

Nearest oak tree is older than the entire world

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jasmine Nelson "Three Tongues" Merchant Drinking Cookies
Jude Rodriguez "Five Lox" Mole Cooking Chocolate
Aria Jennings Barber Hammers Sticky Notes
Guy Todd Animator Snowglobes Snowglobes
Parker Hunt Mechanic Dolphins Bells

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).