The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Dazzling Rocket

#5d95a9

Location

Frigid, Gorgeous Haiti

Time of Day

3:6

Extraction Point

29 Miles N

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Max Brooks has gone missing and we believe "Fat Gargoyle" is responsible. They were last seen in Haiti at 03:21. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Three Fingers". Take this Invisible Bonsai Tree - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ashley Francis

Alias

"Fat Gargoyle"

Features

6' 7"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Crotch

Organization

The Authority of Early Spike

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Officially Modern

Motive

Take over a government out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Mammoth Sphinx"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Dazzling Chateau

Ancient Fortress

Perspiration Barn Dance

Random Events

Reindeer Salutes the adventurers

Feminist stop the party and asks questions

Gypsy Glistens gently

Panhandler emerges

World

Stores

Jade's Crock Bureau

Cox's Crock Mall

Blair's Iron stove Market

Brooks's Shelf of alcohol Worldwide

Traps

Scything Blade

Acid Arrow of Joy

Objects

Crock made of heavy metal

Iron stove that has been hollowed out

Secret Crock

Hidden Crossbow

Scimitar of Joy

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards must Save vs Death or be shorn of all hair

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Arianna Cox "Drowsy Ribs" Merchant Pillows Water
Kaiden Blair "Small Ribs" Mole Soda Teeth
Preston Coleman Professional Cuddler Chocolate Eggs
Jade Guerrero Firefighter Jigsaw Puzzles Easter
Max Brooks Talent agent Dice Teeth

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).