The Director Welcomes You

The Upright Fit Agent

#edacd8

Location

Gloomy, Gorgeous Pakistan

Time of Day

15:41

Extraction Point

3 Miles W

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Operatives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Pocket watch with a False bottom. Get to Pakistan at 07:23

Good Luck.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ashley Keller

Alias

"Right Lion"

Features

4' 1"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Right foot

Organization

The Sisterhood of Millions Espresso

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Upright Dire

Motive

Disrupt the military out of desperation

Bodyguard

Carl the "Melted Normal Guy"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Fit Barn Dance

Hidden Pond

Annihilation Tower

Random Events

Buccaneer is heard screaming

Dozen Eggs Balances on a ledge

Procession Finds gold in the water

Cauldron Glistens gently

World

Stores

Ashton's Pocket watch Properties

Stevens's Bed Properties

Kelly's Iron stove Supermarket

Guerrero's Workbench Beauty Stop

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Burning Hands of Euphoria

Objects

Pocket watch with a False bottom

Iron stove made of heavy metal

Secret Bed

Hidden Hammers

Sticks of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s principal weapon is older than the whole universe

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Charlie Stevens "Mad Parmigianas" Merchant Gym Memberships Music
Weston Kelly "Stiff Pinky's" Mole Potatoes Socks
Teagan Flores Dietitian Trees Photography
Ashton Santos Acupuncturist Sharks Video Games
Cecilia Guerrero Restless Technology Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).