The Director Welcomes You

Who is James Church?

#b268c9

Location

Wet, Warm Peru

Time of Day

18:13

Extraction Point

146 Miles E

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Isabelle Barnett has gone missing and we believe "Mad Beholder" is responsible. They were last seen in Peru at 20:07. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a random cow at the Dragon's Sea". Take this Clandestine Battery - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Amelia Christensen

Alias

"Mad Beholder"

Features

4' 4"

Red eyes

Large moles / Right middle finger

Organization

The Firm of Faint Dragon

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Fervently Screeching

Motive

Disrupt the military to become the best

Bodyguard

James the "Gregorian child"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Slimey Park

Underwater Circus

Death Peninsula

Random Events

Deadbeat Is under a curse

Drunk Is being detained

Cauldron is being loudly arrested

Chanting Cult Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Alice's Workbench Hole

Salazar's Doorway Factory

Vasquez's Statue Group

Barnett's Bed Department store

Traps

Chain Lightning

Symbol of Hypnosis of Fury

Objects

Workbench that is glowing

Statue that has been hollowed out

Secret Doorway

Hidden Scimitar

Throwing Dart of Fury

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are suddenly arranged in a big circle

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ava Salazar "Little Stomachs" Merchant Flowers Death
Mary Vasquez "Meaty Churros" Mole Soap Candles
Riley Williamson Librarian Comic Books Acorns
Alice Le Cleaner Limes Batteries
Isabelle Barnett Artist Quartz Crystals Jigsaw Puzzles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).