The Director Welcomes You

The Frightfully Hirsute Agent

#a1b088

Location

Cloudy, Windless Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Time of Day

11:47

Extraction Point

101 Miles NE

Time to Complete

12 Hours

Meddlers,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Crowded Missile Launch Site to look for a suspect by the name "Drowsy Turtle". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to discover their location. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for money at the old bridge".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Feminine Scissor in your kit to help.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Natalia Burgess

Alias

"Drowsy Turtle"

Features

6' 10"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Committee of Wet Sponge

Emotions

Inferior

Personality

Frightfully Mealy

Motive

Disrupt the military to save humanity

Bodyguard

Charles the "Mushy Roc"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Hirsute Reef

Deserted Castle

Ice Festival

Random Events

Hoard chase a suspect

Crazy Man is robbed

Husband Salutes the adventurers

Potato Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Ariel's Vase Brothers

Wolfe's Medallion Closet

Wood's Picture Frame Little shop

Tucker's Coat Technologies

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Fusillade of Darts of Vulnerability

Objects

Vase with a False bottom

Picture Frame with a False bottom

Secret Medallion

Hidden Medallion

Frying Pan of Vulnerability

Wand of Wonder

When caster dies, his corpse turns to solid bronze

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jordan Wolfe "Nice Cheesecakes" Merchant Cousins Baseball
Allison Wood "Junior Dumplings" Mole Fire Sailboats
Riley Thornton Artist Snowglobes Bracelets
Ariel Mclaughlin Blacksmith Peanut Butter Sharp Things
Declan Tucker Veterinarian Rocks Chalk

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).