The Director Welcomes You

The Efficacious Pelican Errand

#0eba7d

Location

Wet, Bright Malaysia

Time of Day

14:13

Extraction Point

187 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Spy Deputies,
I have sent you to climb a Rundown Sanctuary to look for a suspect by the name "Sharp Manticore". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A roll of thunder at the Dragon's Sea".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Glowing Hot Glue Gun in your kit to help.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Abraham Baldwin

Alias

"Sharp Manticore"

Features

7' 7"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Right hand

Organization

The Commission of Handsome Idea

Emotions

Numb

Personality

Quickly Great

Motive

Take over a country because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Jose the "Tragic Camel"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Efficacious Jungle

Bustling Spring

Ruin Peninsula

Random Events

Dozen Eggs Salutes the adventurers

Bunny Protests

Gang Strikes the church bell

Cat Evades the law

World

Stores

Nora's Mounted Animal Properties

Johnston's Fruit Bowl Properties

Salazar's Pair of Statues Emporium

Newman's Picture Frame Factory

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Wall Blade of Extermination

Objects

Mounted Animal made of heavy metal

Pair of Statues with a False bottom

Secret Fruit Bowl

Hidden Bottle

Gauntlet of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

Target’s most valuable possession now belongs to someone else

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emerson Johnston "Heavy Arms" Merchant Sharp Things Music
Gianna Salazar "Casual Lungs" Mole Sailboats Robots
Jace Scott Physician Mirrors Lions
Nora Baldwin Consultant Dice Slippers
Jade Newman The Body Rubber Bands Music

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).