The Director Welcomes You

The Teeth Power Incident

#0ea9ed

Location

Cool, Balmy Libya

Time of Day

11:22

Extraction Point

85 Miles SE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Christian Brooks has gone missing and we believe "Obese Cockatrice" is responsible. They were last seen in Libya at 16:09. The agent sent one final message – "A lone flower growing at the Grey Hollow". Take this Mechanical Hammer - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Anastasia Lucas

Alias

"Obese Cockatrice"

Features

5' 5"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The Guild of Loquacious Faucet

Emotions

Satisfied

Personality

Coaxingly Noisy

Motive

Take over a government to please their master

Bodyguard

George the "Common The Grim Reaper"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Ugliest Pond

Deserted Suburbs

Euthanasia Crypt

Random Events

Box of Mice skins a cat with his teeth

Storm Crashes slowly

Crying Child Bursts loudly

Gunshot Is being tortured

World

Stores

Elliott's Tea Set Arcade

Ruiz's Grandfather Clock Labs

Miranda's Bureau Technologies

Brooks's Taxidermy animal Labs

Traps

Bear Trap

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Power

Objects

Tea Set children's replica

Bureau children's replica

Secret Grandfather Clock

Hidden Falchion

Magazine of Power

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby will soon incite a war between two major races

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hayden Ruiz "Heavy Pinky's" Merchant Cookies Television
Ivan Miranda "Cramped Forearms" Mole Sailboats Horses
Lillian Chan Fortune Cookie Writer Tissues Broccoli
Elliott Bennett Architect Deodorant Cousins
Christian Brooks Actor Rocks Attention

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).