The Director Welcomes You

Who is Randy Expert?

#b6c674

Location

Arid, Icy Brazil

Time of Day

12:4

Extraction Point

18 Miles S

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Operatives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Doorway children's replica. Get to Brazil at 24:20

Good Luck.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Chloe Howell

Alias

"Casual Bear"

Features

5' 8"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Right arm

Organization

The Sisterhood of Ashy Postoffice

Emotions

Disoriented

Personality

Wonderfully Hallowed

Motive

Make a lot of money to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Randy the "Childish Mummy"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Little Shelter

Desolate Island

Euthanasia Pond

Random Events

Softball arrives in the mail

Dracula arrives in the mail

Chunk of Beef Is throwing a BBQ

Milk Shipment Ignites violently

World

Stores

Cecilia's Doorway Du jour

Hill's Vanity Wardrobe

Neal's Potted Plant Creative

Wong's Stairwell Atelier

Traps

Burning Hands

Arrow of The Blackest Black

Objects

Doorway children's replica

Potted Plant that is glowing

Secret Vanity

Hidden Helmet

Sticks of The Blackest Black

Wand of Wonder

Metal weapons do not conduct electricity while target wields them

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emerson Hill "Mad Churros" Merchant Bracelets Harmonica
Isabella Neal "Yellow Noses" Mole Paper Butterflies
Athena Harvey Hairdresser Soccer Sun Glasses
Cecilia Powell Pharmacist Paper Glass
Valerie Wong Frustrated Honey Trucks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).