The Director Welcomes You

The Upper Management Pleasure Incident

#99f90a

Location

Hot, Wet Tuvalu

Time of Day

9:1

Extraction Point

153 Miles S

Time to Complete

5 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "Mad Zombie" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "An out of place door appears at the Frozen palace". We need you to eliminate them, Questioningly. Their last known location was recorded at 24:00. You have a Invisible Stapler as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Everly Rojas

Alias

"Mad Zombie"

Features

7' 7"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Left arm

Organization

The Incorporated of Bumpy Mimosa

Emotions

Dreading

Personality

Questioningly Billions

Motive

Take over a country to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Putrid Ogre"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Spicy Mansion

Ancient Chateau

Dark Tower

Random Events

Bum Spontaneously disintegrates

Amulet Is accused by the law

Soup Adopts a nearby child

Bellhop Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Lucas's Candlesticks Beauty Stop

Lindsey's Tea Pot Atelier

Vargas's Mural Discount

White's Grandfather Clock Cosmetics

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Poison Dart of Pleasure

Objects

Candlesticks that has been hollowed out

Mural with a False bottom

Secret Tea Pot

Hidden Club

Sword of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

If reduced to exactly zero hit points, target turns invisible

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alexa Lindsey "Bullet Heels" Merchant Cookies Boxes
Valentina Vargas "Short Thumbs" Mole Scarves Video Games
Brielle Frank Dead Tired Honey Lions
Lucas Ferguson Geologist Jazz Squirrels
Naomi White Spirit Cats Acorns

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).