The Director Welcomes You

The Feast Ruin Protocol

#f93efa

Location

Windy, Wet Côte d’Ivoire

Time of Day

11:43

Extraction Point

25 Miles NW

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Snoopers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Candelabra that is glowing. Get to Côte d’Ivoire at 03:14

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gavin Vega

Alias

"Big Manticore"

Features

4' 1"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Bureau of Greasy Noise

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Successfully Dowdy

Motive

Take over a government for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Smelly Troll"

Physical Size

Shrimpy

Story

Additional Locations

The Itchy Isle

Underground Park

Reservation Island

Random Events

Chauvinist is being loudly arrested

Amulet Attempts to rob a bank

Bellhop Integrates silently into the group

Bellhop emerges

World

Stores

Sofia's Candelabra International

Riley's Spare brick Bureau

West's Bottle Worldwide

Lang's Armoir Hole

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Extended Bane of Ruin

Objects

Candelabra that is glowing

Bottle made of heavy metal

Secret Spare brick

Hidden Bangle

Shield of Ruin

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s fingers can’t be severed from his hands

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Rose Riley "King Boy" Merchant Quartz Crystals Pillows
Ian West "Slow Lemons" Mole Bears Physics
Cole Roberts Musician Tea Hammers
Sofia Chang Chief Executive Officer Photography Death
Graham Lang The Body Sharks Dolphins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).