The Director Welcomes You
The Goat Destiny Protocol
#07960e
Scrutinizers, We need your help. Agent Daniel Lucas has gone missing and we believe "Right Kraken" is responsible. They were last seen in Mexico at 20:24. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Dead Forest". Take this Colorful Nuts and Bolts - it was their favorite tool and might help you.
— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.
Cora Juarez
"Right Kraken"
4' 1"
Heterochromia eyes
Large deep scar / Left hand
The Commission of Obedient Zipper
Ambivalent
Frequently Better
Take over a government to become famous
Hal the "Ugliest Ghost"
Sizable
The Sticky Spring
Ancient Port
Catastrophe City
Milk Shipment explodes
Lactose Intolerance Ignites violently
Spice Box Bursts loudly
Donkey Integrates silently into the group
George's Large book Supermarket
Carpenter's Brass Replica Chic Chåteau
Parks's File Chic Chåteau
Lucas's Ceramic Crock Worldwide
Ceiling Pendulum
Poisoned Arrow of Destiny
Large book with a False bottom
File that has been hollowed out
Secret Brass Replica
Hidden Fork
Coif of Destiny
Holy symbols inspire dread in the caster
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Calvin Carpenter | "Obese Cheesecakes" | Merchant | Bears | Cousins |
| Oscar Parks | "Short Forearms" | Mole | Toilets | Christmas |
| Laila Armstrong | Banker | Cats | Jigsaw Puzzles | |
| George Gordon | Musician | Cats | Squirrels | |
| Daniel Lucas | Cleaner | Baseball | Rubber Bands |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).