The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Quick Headquarters

#981436

Location

Humid, Bright Kosovo

Time of Day

12:31

Extraction Point

76 Miles NE

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Shadows,
I have sent you to enter a Expensive Fortress to look for a suspect by the name "Violet Drunken Irish Guy". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Big Momma".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Soft Ballpoint Pen in your kit to help.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Londyn Hill

Alias

"Violet Drunken Irish Guy"

Features

5' 10"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Left leg

Organization

The Council of Drab Crush

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Jovially Boned

Motive

Disrupt the military for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Carl the "Wide Eel"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Quick Manor

Abandoned Acropolis

Delirium Arcade

Random Events

Soup Is frozen into a block of ice

Storm strikes the ground

Crying Child is robbed

Safe Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Kai's Candlesticks Arcade

Campbell's Portrait Discount

Brown's Basket Bureau

Kelly's Statue Bazaar

Traps

Dropping Ceiling

Javelin of Good Spirits

Objects

Candlesticks that is glowing

Basket that has been hollowed out

Secret Portrait

Hidden Trident

Arrows of Good Spirits

Wand of Wonder

Some unseen entity wipes the smile off of the caster’s face

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alaina Campbell "Four Bones" Merchant Deodorant Physics
Ian Brown "Meaty Toes" Mole Deodorant Teeth
Edward Reid Paramedic Contracts Sponges
Kai Stewart Intoxicated Sponges Soda
Valeria Kelly Surveyor Sun Glasses Toilets

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).