The Director Welcomes You

Consulting Royale

#b8fb8b

Location

Cloudy, Warm Iraq

Time of Day

23:51

Extraction Point

76 Miles S

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Examiners,
I have sent you to climb a Compact Forge to look for a suspect by the name "Plump Gnome". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shadow passes at the Devil's barrow".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Colorful Bible in your kit to help.

β€” The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

August Fitzgerald

Alias

"Plump Gnome"

Features

6' 3"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Left arm

Organization

The Fraternity of Salty Smoke

Emotions

Dismayed

Personality

Yesterday Gregorian

Motive

Make a lot of money to become famous

Bodyguard

Hal the "Melted Demon"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Slimy Chateau

Pitch Black Carnival

Euthanasia Business

Random Events

Goblet is loose

Meteor Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Box of Mice Ignites violently

Bank Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Aiden's Globe Consulting

Swanson's Staircase Labs

Sanchez's Picture Frame Unlimited

Brown's Kitchen knife Department store

Traps

Black Tentacles

Bear Trap of Stealth

Objects

Globe with a False bottom

Picture Frame that has been hollowed out

Secret Staircase

Hidden Pants

Magazine of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters a lake, he’s attacked by turtles

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Josiah Swanson "Left Waffles" Merchant Toilets Sun Glasses
Andrew Sanchez "Four Stomachs" Mole Sponges Television
Josephine Swanson Statistician Boxes Bells
Aiden Holt Broker Rubber Stamps Houses
Alaina Brown Ghost Cookies Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).