The Director Welcomes You

Whistle, Mohawk, Hive, Spy.

#0289d0

Location

Windy, Arid Eritrea

Time of Day

21:54

Extraction Point

102 Miles W

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "No Werewolf" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the dry riverbed". We need you to eliminate them, Victoriously. Their last known location was recorded at 20:13. You have a Light Condom as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Juan Holt

Alias

"No Werewolf"

Features

5' 1"

Green eyes

Small mole / Right hand

Organization

The Division of Engorged Hive

Emotions

Outraged

Personality

Victoriously Wet

Motive

Disrupt the military for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Emily the "Sensual Turtle"

Physical Size

Gigantic

Story

Additional Locations

The Sour Peninsula

Desolate Shelter

Competency Villa

Random Events

Gallon of Trash Attempts to rob a bank

Chicken screams at the top of their lungs

Hound is being loudly arrested

Pickpocket Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

World

Stores

Aaron's Lipstick Discount

Ryan's Notebook Logistics

Frank's Lounge Chair Atelier

Dunn's Kitchen table Unlimited

Traps

Compacting Room

Chain Lightning of Stealth

Objects

Lipstick that is glowing

Lounge Chair made of heavy metal

Secret Notebook

Hidden Book

Bangle of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

One of caster’s arms shrivels to a dry husk

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jonah Ryan "Big Matzo Balls" Merchant Basketball Children's Stories
Messiah Frank "Cheap Lox" Mole Water Contracts
Bennett Lucas Railroad Conductor Coffee Rabbits
Aaron Chan Master Distiller Doors Money
Austin Dunn Art Therapist Candy Acorns

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).