The Director Welcomes You

Technologies Royale

#90ecc4

Location

Windy, Gorgeous Congo, Republic of the

Time of Day

21:58

Extraction Point

38 Miles NW

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Examiners,
I have sent you to descend into Hidden Peninsula to look for a suspect by the name "Fast Horse". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Devil's barrow".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Delicate Towel in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Colton Lane

Alias

"Fast Horse"

Features

6' 8"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Left thumb

Organization

The Bunch of Incalculable Bed

Emotions

Horrified

Personality

Jubilantly Dank

Motive

Take over a government out of survival

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Adorable Dolphin"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Bad Villa

Abandoned Spring

Censorship Manor

Random Events

VAT of Broth Lunges at the group

Hoard Skips merrily

Milk Shipment Is throwing a protest

Hoard Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Timothy's Barrel Technologies

Adams's Flower in Vase Productions

Walters's Kitchen knife Wardrobe

Padilla's Metal chair Convenience store

Traps

Bestow Curse

Lightning Bolt of Optimism

Objects

Barrel that is glowing

Kitchen knife that is glowing

Secret Flower in Vase

Hidden Rapier

Katana of Optimism

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s Intelligence is equal to his level for 2d12 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Amelia Adams "Slow Hot Dogs" Merchant Cooking Water
Kylie Walters "Junior Brains" Mole Octopus Limes
Leah Lopez Cleaner Money Slippers
Timothy Vargas Annoyed Football Notes
Annabelle Padilla Broker Boxes Tigers

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).