The Director Welcomes You

The Rabid Tennisracket Caper

#cd4293

Location

Chilly, Arid Papua New Guinea

Time of Day

12:19

Extraction Point

71 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "White Cockatrice" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "A shadow passes at the Beast's Maze". We need you to eliminate them, Warmly. Their last known location was recorded at 14:19. You have a Vicious Tape Measure as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kinsley Hawkins

Alias

"White Cockatrice"

Features

6' 5"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Left thumb

Organization

The Sorority of Tinkling Synagogue

Emotions

Attraction

Personality

Warmly Important

Motive

Take over a government to become famous

Bodyguard

Nick the "Thorough Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Rabid Fortress

Rundown Chateau

Influence Tower

Random Events

Bank Is being tortured

Corncob Is getting confiscated

Bunny Strikes the church bell

Musical Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Gracie's Toolbox Supermarket

Salinas's Sink Collective

Juarez's Toolset Little shop

Myers's Notebook Wardrobe

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Ceiling Pendulum of Stealth

Objects

Toolbox that is glowing

Toolset children's replica

Secret Sink

Hidden Blindfold

Book of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

Next magic item handled by target can’t be used by anyone else

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kai Salinas "Cramped Arms" Merchant Dinosaurs Paper
Noah Juarez "Drowsy Bagels" Mole Limes Music
Jasmine Holt Banker Chocolate Paperclips
Gracie Townsend Indifferent Notes Bears
Morgan Myers Bruised Cats Octopus

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).