The Director Welcomes You

International Royale

#7f8ca7

Location

Miserable, Gloomy Bhutan

Time of Day

14:44

Extraction Point

20 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "Gross Golem" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for money at the Rainbow Mountain". We need you to eliminate them, Faithfully. Their last known location was recorded at 23:12. You have a Beautiful Bonsai Tree as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Asher Willis

Alias

"Gross Golem"

Features

4' 9"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Right arm

Organization

The Bunch of Black Control

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Faithfully Sour

Motive

Take over a country for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Putrid Python"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Masochistic Forest

Bustling Lodge

Exuberance Carousal

Random Events

Bag of Lemons emerges

Safe Lunges at the group

Majestic Painting catches on fire

Crazy Man Is under a curse

World

Stores

Benjamin's Trinket International

Cohen's Certificate Factory

Love's Coat Industries

Rodgers's Tea Pot Boutique

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Hail of Needles of Excitement

Objects

Trinket with a False bottom

Coat with a False bottom

Secret Certificate

Hidden Lipstick

Polearm of Excitement

Wand of Wonder

Next 2d4 spells cast at target function at 2X normal power

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Angel Cohen "Cheap Lox" Merchant Sailboats Lions
Mckenzie Love "Four Lemons" Mole Trucks Dice
Serenity Powell Physician Potatoes Butterflies
Benjamin Gibson The Body Deodorant Bears
Maxwell Rodgers Dog surfing instructor Deodorant Dolphins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).