The Director Welcomes You

Who is David Moon?

#3f3cb2

Location

Arid, Breezy Taiwan

Time of Day

24:18

Extraction Point

13 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to within a Underwater Castle to look for a suspect by the name "Heavy Seal". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Distant sounds of screaming at the Big Momma".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Vicious Wrench in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ava Robbins

Alias

"Heavy Seal"

Features

4' 6"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right arm

Organization

The Sisterhood of Witty Reading

Emotions

Curious

Personality

Inquisitively Uninterested

Motive

Take over a government for honor

Bodyguard

David the "Bad Elephant"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Chilly Lagoon

Archaic Palace

Good Spirits Acropolis

Random Events

Sewer is heard screaming

Horse Carriage Is throwing a protest

Whore Is accused by the law

Crying Child Is being detained

World

Stores

Gabriel's Footlocker Wardrobe

Vazquez's Large book Convenience store

Watkins's Pipe Warehouse

Delgado's Certificate Hole

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Ceiling Pendulum of Prosperity

Objects

Footlocker that is glowing

Pipe with a False bottom

Secret Large book

Hidden Bracelet

Bow of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby is immune to stabbing weapons for 1d4 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jack Vazquez "Little Elbows" Merchant Glitter Syrup
Elise Watkins "Obese Brains" Mole Sticky Notes Horses
Maverick Day Stressed Shirts Toilets
Gabriel Chavez Talent agent Cartography Death
Eric Delgado Physician Death Oranges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).