The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jackie Crane?

#f48edf

Location

Wet, Arid Georgia

Time of Day

17:13

Extraction Point

80 Miles NE

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Tyler Carter has gone missing and we believe "Golden Owl" is responsible. They were last seen in Georgia at 17:05. The agent sent one final message – "An out of place door appears at the Devil's barrow". Take this Glowing Candle - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Michael Klein

Alias

"Golden Owl"

Features

5' 2"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Division of Egregious Whistle

Emotions

Comfortable

Personality

Tightly Ruminating

Motive

Make a lot of money for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Mushy Serpent"

Physical Size

Colossal

Story

Additional Locations

The Shrilling Palace

Desolate Maze

Power Isle

Random Events

Biscuit Skips merrily

Midwife Spontaneously disintegrates

Milk Shipment Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Dancer Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Mason's Vase Boutique

Douglas's Oil Lamp Closet

Hunt's Wingback chair Emporium

Carter's Sofa Brothers

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Water-Filled Room of Secrecy

Objects

Vase with a False bottom

Wingback chair made of heavy metal

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Rapier

Chastity Belt of Secrecy

Wand of Wonder

Target’s arms have been repeatedly severed and reattached

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Oliver Douglas "Drowsy Eyes" Merchant Chickens Coffee
Melody Hunt "Three Fingers" Mole Boxes Fire
Amaya Harrington Barber Water Baseball
Mason Schroeder Physician Balloons Water
Tyler Carter Blacksmith Photography Rocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).