The Director Welcomes You

Who is James Squirrel?

#9d6244

Location

Balmy, Cloudy Hungary

Time of Day

16:16

Extraction Point

15 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Iron stove with a False bottom. Get to Hungary at 01:24

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Payton James

Alias

"Plump Griffin"

Features

6' 9"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right leg

Organization

The Club of Rabid Cleaver

Emotions

Rejected

Personality

Zestily Brief

Motive

Disrupt the military out of jealousy

Bodyguard

James the "Progressive Hyena"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Pernicious Crypt

Rundown Citadel

Darkness Park

Random Events

Spice Box Ignites violently

Druid Gets their hand chopped off

Soup catches on fire

Crying Child is loose

World

Stores

Fiona's Iron stove Productions

Mullins's File Cosmetics

Ramsey's Loveseat Hole

Lopez's Credenza Ventures

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Box of Brown Mold of Destruction

Objects

Iron stove with a False bottom

Loveseat with a False bottom

Secret File

Hidden Handcuffs

Crossbow of Destruction

Wand of Wonder

A vital organ is ripped from target’s body for 1d100 damage

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Antonio Mullins "Wild Matzo Balls" Merchant Cats Pillows
Camila Ramsey "Silver Hot Dogs" Mole Honey Rubber Stamps
Nathan Welch Hairdresser Notes Oranges
Fiona Ferguson Restless Cellphones Video Games
Peyton Lopez Demon Honey Horses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).