The Director Welcomes You

The Seed Mania Incident

#0b99a6

Location

Humid, Dull India

Time of Day

4:48

Extraction Point

193 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to within a Crowded Water Park to look for a suspect by the name "Right Beholder". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Grey Hollow".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Quilt in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sydney Clark

Alias

"Right Beholder"

Features

5' 11"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Club of Gentle Arithmetic

Emotions

Vengeful

Personality

Excitedly Whispering

Motive

Take over a government for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Charles the "Sparkling child"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Fluffy Villa

Compact Lake

Downfall Forest

Random Events

Vagabond Is accused by the law

Leopard chase a suspect

Crow scurries by

Tramp Evades the law

World

Stores

Serenity's Hanging Birdcage Solutions

Welch's Tea Set Worldwide

Johnson's Kitchen table Brothers

Long's Mantle Hole

Traps

Wall Blade

Blade Barrier of Mania

Objects

Hanging Birdcage that has been hollowed out

Kitchen table made of heavy metal

Secret Tea Set

Hidden Sabre

Sword of Mania

Wand of Wonder

Caster can withstand ocean depths while holding a bar of sodium

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ivan Welch "Plump Lungs" Merchant Attention Sharp Things
Joel Johnson "Silver Falafels" Mole Video Games Batteries
Bennett Johnson Spirit Rabbits Robots
Serenity Owen Elevator Mechanic Hamsters Attention
Sebastian Long Headhunter Acorns Rabbits

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).