The Director Welcomes You

Pollution, Cactus, Lumber, Spy.

#8dd9ce

Location

Stormy, Hot Nepal

Time of Day

13:10

Extraction Point

133 Miles N

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Alexa Johnson has gone missing and we believe "Drowsy Elephants" is responsible. They were last seen in Nepal at 15:08. The agent sent one final message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Snowy garrison". Take this Angry Blouse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kaylee McDonald

Alias

"Drowsy Elephants"

Features

7' 11"

Red eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The Task Force of Beautiful Lumber

Emotions

Resentful

Personality

Meaningfully Ambitious

Motive

Disrupt the military for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Frilled Minotaur"

Physical Size

Shrimpy

Story

Additional Locations

The Swift Crypt

Deserted Acropolis

Bitterness Island

Random Events

Bum grabs a lady's purse

Bag of Flour Catches leprosy

Princess Is being kidnapped

Procession is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Natalia's Urn Wardrobe

Palmer's Portrait Labs

Martin's Fireplace Ventures

Johnson's Satchel Wardrobe

Traps

Rolling Rock

Symbol of Hypnosis of Obsession

Objects

Urn with a False bottom

Fireplace that is glowing

Secret Portrait

Hidden Hatchet

Pants of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Any part of target now covered by clothing is fireproof

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jackson Palmer "Tough Heels" Merchant Harmonica Hammers
Faith Martin "Yellow Bones" Mole Candy Rubber Bands
Arianna Mejia Stressed Physics Chickens
Natalia West Railroad Conductor Rubber Bands Chalk
Alexa Johnson Envious Honey Flowers

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).