The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Stoned Collar

#e86dde

Location

Mild, Mild Honduras

Time of Day

10:28

Extraction Point

112 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to enter a Overpopulated Citadel to look for a suspect by the name "Two Dwarf". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A pool of blood at the Serpents Nest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Colorful Can Opener in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jayden Howard

Alias

"Two Dwarf"

Features

6' 2"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Right foot

Organization

The Committee of Sensual Hairdryer

Emotions

Overwhelmed

Personality

Always Rough

Motive

Take over a country to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Chuckie the "Helpless Normal Guy"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Stoned Port

Deserted Carousal

Silence Crypt

Random Events

Dancer chase a suspect

Hoard Balances on a ledge

Reindeer Is being detained

Cauldron Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Margaret's Pocket watch Boutique

Lowe's Urn Cosmetics

Perez's Flower in Vase Convenience store

Marshall's Paperweight Worldwide

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Falling Block of Laughter

Objects

Pocket watch children's replica

Flower in Vase that is glowing

Secret Urn

Hidden Cutlass

Sabre of Laughter

Wand of Wonder

Target gains a title based on his actions in the next 1d6 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Valentina Lowe "All Heels" Merchant Squirrels Soda
Beau Perez "Blue Tongues" Mole Notes Baseball
Eden Chavez Farmer Syrup Slippers
Margaret Allen Professional Cuddler Honey Drinking
Greyson Marshall Headhunter Whipped Cream Lipstick

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).