The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Extended Glasses

#9b9230

Location

Chilly, Balmy Taiwan

Time of Day

19:53

Extraction Point

102 Miles S

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Investigators,
I have sent you to descend into Hidden Mansion to look for a suspect by the name "Heavy Elephants". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The earth shakes briefly at the giants footsteps".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Feminine Blouse in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jordan Guerrero

Alias

"Heavy Elephants"

Features

7' 2"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Right leg

Organization

The Association of Dusty Sewer

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Lively Judicious

Motive

Take over a country to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Philip the "Victorious Rhinoceroses"

Physical Size

Considerable

Story

Additional Locations

The Extended Lagoon

Underwater Suburbs

Joy Suburbs

Random Events

Spice Box Lunges at the group

Bottle of Soy Sauce is being loudly arrested

Chunk of Beef runs over an infant

Midwife scurries by

World

Stores

Genevieve's Mirror Discount

Ray's Tapestry Industries

Todd's Painting Ventures

Martinez's Hat Du jour

Traps

Compacting Room

Large Net of Sanitation

Objects

Mirror that has been hollowed out

Painting with a False bottom

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Button

Handcuffs of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

The most powerful wizard within 10 miles is actually a demon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ian Ray "Heavy Waffles" Merchant Honey Cartography
Hazel Todd "Stiff Legs" Mole Rubber Stamps Drinking
Weston Tyler Veteran Trees Paper
Genevieve McGee Meteorologist Drinking Video Games
Elise Martinez Restless Dice Peanut Butter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).