The Director Welcomes You

Hole Royale

#0516fb

Location

Dull, Mild Georgia

Time of Day

8:24

Extraction Point

125 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Rhett Steele has gone missing and we believe "Junior Gargoyle" is responsible. They were last seen in Georgia at 06:18. The agent sent one final message – "Distant sounds of screaming at the Wizard's Scar". Take this Clean Audio Cassette - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Khloe Holt

Alias

"Junior Gargoyle"

Features

6' 2"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Clique of Dilligent Love

Emotions

Liking

Personality

Dutifully Curious

Motive

Make a lot of money to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Juan the "Thorough Banshee"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Pre-Pubescent House

Crowded Spring

Ice Forge

Random Events

Crow catches on fire

Fairy Ignites violently

Transport skins a cat with his teeth

Potato Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Tyler's Stamp Set Hole

Ferguson's Letter Opener Closet

Duncan's Bench Outlet

Steele's Music Box Emporium

Traps

Fireball

Fire of Destiny

Objects

Stamp Set children's replica

Bench that is glowing

Secret Letter Opener

Hidden Blindfold

Medallion of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

If caster stands on a riverbank, the bank crumbles beneath him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alyssa Ferguson "Small Waffles" Merchant Octopus Ice Cubes
Lucas Duncan "Stiff Spleens" Mole Balloons Stickers
Olivia Griffin Drunken Cousins Plushies
Tyler Morgan Zestful Deodorant Acorns
Rhett Steele Shadow Teeth Flashlights

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).