The Director Welcomes You

Goat, Hen, Can, Spy.

#4c0675

Location

Cloudy, Windy Georgia

Time of Day

15:20

Extraction Point

94 Miles N

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to climb a Touristy Lodge to look for a suspect by the name "The Yeti". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The earth shakes briefly at the Dragon's Sea".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Soft Abascus in your kit to help.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Levi Harrison

Alias

"The Yeti"

Features

5' 9"

Blue eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Division of Rhythmic Can

Emotions

Adoration

Personality

Queerly Judicious

Motive

Take over a government for revenge

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Icy Beholder"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Drawn Jungle

Underwater Festival

Indecision Business

Random Events

Woman approaches

Safe Glistens gently

Spectator runs over an infant

Storm Is being tortured

World

Stores

Elijah's Cabinet Discount

Wagner's Telescope Discount

Dominguez's Telescope Arcade

Romero's Wingback chair Du jour

Traps

Crushing Room

Ceiling Pendulum of Purity

Objects

Cabinet that has been hollowed out

Telescope with a False bottom

Secret Telescope

Hidden Hatchet

Hammers of Purity

Wand of Wonder

Target runs completely around the nearest lake

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
King Wagner "Wild Muscles" Merchant Robots Baseball
Candace Dominguez "Red Legs" Mole Dinosaurs Painting
Audrey Morales Pharmacist Boxes Cats
Elijah Porter Butcher Flashlights Paperclips
Carlos Romero Chef Coffee Books

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).