The Director Welcomes You

Collective Royale

#f32d63

Location

Foul, Breezy Canada

Time of Day

3:1

Extraction Point

159 Miles E

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Emerson Burgess has gone missing and we believe "King Platypuses" is responsible. They were last seen in Canada at 11:10. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Grey Hollow". Take this Invisible Bikini - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ezekiel Barnett

Alias

"King Platypuses"

Features

6' 4"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Society of Girthy Pot

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Thankfully Jolly

Motive

Take over a government for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Repulsive Cockatrice"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Vast Masquerade

Expensive Forge

Fire Fortress

Random Events

Pine Branch Salutes the adventurers

Chunk of Beef grabs a lady's purse

Goblet Attempts to rob a bank

Keg is loose

World

Stores

Hudson's Bonsai Collective

Wolf's Shelf of alcohol Wardrobe

Phillips's Candle Wardrobe

Burgess's Candlesticks Unlimited

Traps

Burning Hands

Bear Trap of Fatality

Objects

Bonsai that is glowing

Candle that has been hollowed out

Secret Shelf of alcohol

Hidden Hatchet

Falchion of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

Everyone within 50 yards has an iron ring around his wrist

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Bryce Wolf "Cheap Forearms" Merchant Butterflies Rubber Stamps
Damian Phillips "All Hands" Mole Sticky Notes Hammers
Serenity Wright Soul Contracts Honey
Hudson Ramirez Cheerful Physics Oranges
Emerson Burgess Accountant Cartography Glass

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).