The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Salty Basement

#4a6eb1

Location

Dry, Foul Zimbabwe

Time of Day

7:21

Extraction Point

156 Miles N

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Dull Meerkat" has gone level 1. They have been broadcasting this message "A pool of blood at the Frozen palace". We need you to eliminate them, Joshingly. Their last known location was recorded at 19:08. You have a Clean Quilt as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Teagan Burgess

Alias

"Dull Meerkat"

Features

5' 1"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The Division of Drooping Machine

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Joshingly Whispering

Motive

Make a lot of money to control the Children

Bodyguard

Randy the "Victorious Fairy"

Physical Size

Narrow

Story

Additional Locations

The Salty Spring

Deserted Acropolis

Exuberance Shelter

Random Events

Lactose Intolerance Salutes the adventurers

Bear meets disaster

Squirrel Spontaneously disintegrates

Gypsy chase a suspect

World

Stores

Noah's Flower in Vase Outlet

Henderson's Potted Plant Wardrobe

Peters's Hose Technologies

Moss's Spice shelf Bazaar

Traps

Blade Barrier

Hail of Needles of Fatality

Objects

Flower in Vase made of heavy metal

Hose children's replica

Secret Potted Plant

Hidden Button

Credit Card of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are standing on three-foot cast iron discs

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ryleigh Henderson "Nice Thumbs" Merchant Cousins Flashlights
Mattie Peters "Four Arms" Mole Painting Acorns
Jasper Solis Demon Lions Chickens
Noah Holt Depressed Video Games Money
Natalie Moss Dog surfing instructor Books Lions

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).