The Director Welcomes You

Who is Daniel Race?

#19ba2e

Location

Foul, Humid Bangladesh

Time of Day

15:21

Extraction Point

163 Miles NW

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Informants,
It seems "Nice Hydra" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A shrine is nearby at the Skull shaped island". We need you to eliminate them, Vacantly. Their last known location was recorded at 11:16. You have a Polished Boot as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Amir Simpson

Alias

"Nice Hydra"

Features

4' 5"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Right middle finger

Organization

The Bureau of Fulsome Park

Emotions

Weary

Personality

Vacantly Rotten

Motive

Take over a government because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Damaged Hydra"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Hot Isle

Overpopulated Carnival

Casualties Acropolis

Random Events

Pack of Wild Dogs Protests

Amulet Gets their hand chopped off

Panhandler Spontaneously disintegrates

Cat Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Elizabeth's Footlocker Mall

Edwards's Painting Labs

Wade's Painting Ventures

Chambers's Large book Couture

Traps

Fire

Ice lock of Amnesia

Objects

Footlocker children's replica

Painting with a False bottom

Secret Painting

Hidden Crossbow

Trident of Amnesia

Wand of Wonder

Target sprouts an additional pair of nostrils on his forehead

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nathan Edwards "Small Throats" Merchant Syrup Money
Alaina Wade "Big Lemons" Mole Balloons Peanut Butter
Marcus Dunn Police Officer Coffee Cooking
Elizabeth Potter Hairdresser Jigsaw Puzzles Whipped Cream
Silas Chambers Surveyor Snowglobes Sticks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).