The Director Welcomes You

The Clumsy Theory Inquisition

#c2f15e

Location

Cloudless, Bright Sweden

Time of Day

1:49

Extraction Point

107 Miles E

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Esther Gonzales has gone missing and we believe "Wild Mummy" is responsible. They were last seen in Sweden at 03:07. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Ancient Fountain". Take this Slippery Atlas - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Madelyn Daniel

Alias

"Wild Mummy"

Features

6' 11"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Neck

Organization

The Alliance of Prominent Fact

Emotions

Content

Personality

Yawningly Poor

Motive

Take over a country out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Melodic Elephants"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Clumsy Forest

Bustling Business

Demise Island

Random Events

Turtle Glistens gently

Herd of Chicken stop the party and asks questions

Feminist Strikes the church bell

Skeleton Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Oscar's Shoe Horn Cosmetics

Weaver's Crock Arcade

Tran's Mirror Industries

Gonzales's Medallion Ventures

Traps

Fireball

Rune of Paralyzation of Secrecy

Objects

Shoe Horn that has been hollowed out

Mirror that has been hollowed out

Secret Crock

Hidden Frying Pan

Pen of Secrecy

Wand of Wonder

Nearest government collapses amid rumors of infernal pacts

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Arabella Weaver "Silver Kidneys" Merchant Clocks Boxes
Blake Tran "Five Elbows" Mole Dinosaurs Sun Glasses
Rylee Martinez Paramedic Drinking Coffee
Oscar Francis Chief Executive Officer Socks Paper
Esther Gonzales Librarian Slippers Music

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).