The Director Welcomes You

Productions Royale

#5c3ae3

Location

Foggy, Foggy Bahrain

Time of Day

14:19

Extraction Point

80 Miles SE

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Meddlers,
As you can see you are trapped inside within earshot of a Expensive Fortress . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Junior Yeti" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Tempest". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Slippery Hammock hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Parker Barnes

Alias

"Junior Yeti"

Features

5' 11"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The Society of Ambitious Furniture

Emotions

Joyful

Personality

Surprisingly Annoying

Motive

Take over a government out of survival

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Fried Sloth"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Brutish Lagoon

Compact Grove

Dark Acropolis

Random Events

Odor Strikes the church bell

Lactose Intolerance scurries by

Crazy Man Protests

Nearby Gas Tank arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Justin's Spice shelf Productions

Curtis's Oil Lamp Market

Chang's Vase Supermarket

Schmidt's Butter Churner Properties

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Portcullis of Animosity

Objects

Spice shelf that has been hollowed out

Vase with a False bottom

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Handcuffs

Falchion of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

Caster refuses to speak to anyone while his spellbook is open

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Bennett Curtis "Silver Kidneys" Merchant Chalk Baseball
Piper Chang "Four Ankles" Mole Bells Chalk
King Garner Musician Deodorant Books
Justin Castro Electrician Bread Chickens
Alex Schmidt Shadow Gym Memberships Balloons

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).