The Director Welcomes You

Who is Harold Craigslist?

#7b695c

Location

Overcast, Humid Pakistan

Time of Day

10:10

Extraction Point

150 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Gross Normal Guy" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "A lone flower growing at the Crossroads". We need you to eliminate them, Vivaciously. Their last known location was recorded at 16:16. You have a Dull Watch as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jace Santiago

Alias

"Gross Normal Guy"

Features

5' 7"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Incorporated of Delicious Game

Emotions

Grief-stricken

Personality

Vivaciously Tasteless

Motive

Take over a government to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Harold the "Chuffed Kraken"

Physical Size

Gigantic

Story

Additional Locations

The Robust Pond

Bustling House

Casualties House

Random Events

Princess Calls menacingly

Herd of Chicken Spontaneously disintegrates

Panhandler Ignites violently

Meteor is robbed

World

Stores

James's Armoir Department store

Lane's Oil Lamp Boutique

Byrd's Cabinet Logistics

Castillo's Metal chair Group

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Ceiling Pendulum of Extinction

Objects

Armoir that is glowing

Cabinet made of heavy metal

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Polearm

Hatchet of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are 5% likely to die at dawn tomorrow

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lucas Lane "All Heels" Merchant Books Painting
Silas Byrd "Silver Pretzels" Mole Children's Stories Books
Juan Gomez Chef Clocks Soap
James Snyder Veterinarian Batteries Potatoes
London Castillo Paramedic Sailboats Attention

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).