The Director Welcomes You

The Thanks The Blackest Black Protocol

#e1c0de

Location

Arid, Chilly Afghanistan

Time of Day

19:28

Extraction Point

13 Miles S

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Sleuths,
I have sent you to fly above a Deserted Grove to look for a suspect by the name "The Griffin". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to discover their location. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Frozen palace".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Beautiful Vise in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Charlie Ryan

Alias

"The Griffin"

Features

6' 3"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Council of Quaint Mustard

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Vivaciously Disruptive

Motive

Take over a government to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Peter the "Fried Demon"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Tertiary Citadel

Archaic Manor

Destiny Lake

Random Events

Crowd skins a cat with his teeth

Jug of Peanut Butter Protests

Bellhop Is accused by the law

Majestic Painting grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Mya's Footlocker Convenience store

Benson's Metal chair Outlet

Strickland's Quill and Ink Discount

Rodgers's Candle Discount

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Collapsing Column of The Blackest Black

Objects

Footlocker that is glowing

Quill and Ink with a False bottom

Secret Metal chair

Hidden Arrows

Medallion of The Blackest Black

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s speech is clearly audible to all within 50 yards

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jameson Benson "Quiet Cheesecakes" Merchant Cousins Plushies
Jasmine Strickland "Dull Dumplings" Mole Gym Memberships Shirts
Guy Caldwell Phantom Paperclips Easter
Mya Newton Psychiatrist Chocolate Attention
Annabelle Rodgers Drunken Rock n' Roll Singing

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).