The Director Welcomes You

Who is Anthony Effigy?

#7378cb

Location

Frigid, Gloomy Germany

Time of Day

4:48

Extraction Point

11 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Valerie Hardy has gone missing and we believe "Junior Drunken Irish Guy" is responsible. They were last seen in Germany at 01:04. The agent sent one final message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Turtle Rock". Take this Mechanical Toy - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Julianna Byrd

Alias

"Junior Drunken Irish Guy"

Features

7' 10"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right leg

Organization

The Board of Dangerous Control

Emotions

Love

Personality

Healthily Loquacious

Motive

Take over a country because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Contemporary Lion"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Elevated Arcade

Polluted Castle

Expiration Peninsula

Random Events

Lactose Intolerance Is accused by the law

Ninja Skips merrily

Softball catches on fire

Keg Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Brooke's Bicycle Collective

Fuller's Fireplace Wardrobe

Luna's Wingback chair Hole

Hardy's Cabinet Outlet

Traps

Beehive

Acid Arrow of The Blackest Black

Objects

Bicycle made of heavy metal

Wingback chair that is glowing

Secret Fireplace

Hidden Sword

Credit Card of The Blackest Black

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s body appears to have been shredded and reassembled

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Asher Fuller "Indigo Pinky's" Merchant Comic Books Cooking
Finn Luna "Gross Brains" Mole Doors Deodorant
Gabriella Lyons Bounty hunter Sharks Baseball
Brooke Mendez Blacksmith Fire Honey
Valerie Hardy Soul Rabbits Bells

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).