The Director Welcomes You

Who is Christopher Wall?

#286047

Location

Cloudless, Sunny Finland

Time of Day

1:59

Extraction Point

91 Miles E

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Eyeballs,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Ancient Spring . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "No Sloth" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A lone flower growing at the Eye of Heaven". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Heavy Pencil hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

August Harper

Alias

"No Sloth"

Features

4' 9"

Red eyes

A second belly button / Left foot

Organization

The Society of Dubious Mouth

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Famously Rapping

Motive

Take over a government for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Gentle giant"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Mecha Port

Bustling Mansion

Indecision Mansion

Random Events

Pack of Wild Dogs overflows

Cauldron Catches leprosy

Store Lunges at the group

Pack of Wild Dogs meets disaster

World

Stores

Emery's Grandfather Clock Labs

Brewer's Flowers Growing Bureau

Cooper's Armoir Du jour

Conner's Potted Plant Group

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Swinging Block of Exuberance

Objects

Grandfather Clock that is glowing

Armoir children's replica

Secret Flowers Growing

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Trident of Exuberance

Wand of Wonder

Caster can teleport at will but is paralyzed from the neck down

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Judy Brewer "Mini Cheesecakes" Merchant Christmas Sharks
Claire Cooper "Indigo Ankles" Mole Clocks Water
Leah McBride Vision Rock n' Roll Harmonica
Emery Larson Chef Octopus Children's Stories
Braxton Conner Indifferent Cats Rabbits

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).