The Director Welcomes You
The Quality Ruin Protocol
#12b9b0
Spy Deputies, I have sent you to the top of a Hidden Spring to look for a suspect by the name "No Koalas". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Serpents Nest".
We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Dull Quilt in your kit to help.
— The iPod you were holding self destructs.
Cameron Rice
"No Koalas"
5' 7"
Brown eyes
Large moles / Neck
The League of Chubby Trousers
Powerless
Unexpectedly Masochistic
Take over a country in pursuit of knowledge
Jack the "Quick Owlman"
Enormous
The Rapping Island
Deserted Lake
Redemption Lodge
Demon explodes
Nomad Evades the law
Buccaneer Gets their hand chopped off
Pine Branch Crashes slowly
Wesley's Fireplace Productions
Cohen's Globe Arcade
Norman's Figurine Market
Knight's Bureau Convenience store
Poison Dart
Razor-Wire across Hallway of Ruin
Fireplace with a False bottom
Figurine that has been hollowed out
Secret Globe
Hidden Morning Star
Soy Sauce Packet of Ruin
Any attempt to change shape will teleport the caster 1d1000 miles
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Josephine Cohen | "Fat Falafels" | Merchant | Socks | Balloons |
| Cooper Norman | "Yellow Hearts" | Mole | Coffee | Tissues |
| Robin Hawkins | Old Timer | Dolphins | Harmonica | |
| Wesley Flynn | Acupuncturist | Tissues | Scarves | |
| Braxton Knight | Plumber | Chickens | Pillows |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).