The Director Welcomes You

Who is Tim Harmony?

#3f5769

Location

Arid, Cool Belgium

Time of Day

10:47

Extraction Point

135 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Informants,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Rundown Mansion . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Casual Kaiju" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the Tempest". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Bulbous Bottle hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Abraham Payne

Alias

"Casual Kaiju"

Features

6' 7"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Order of White Upper Management

Emotions

Defeated

Personality

Rightfully Baleful

Motive

Disrupt the military to save humanity

Bodyguard

Tim the "Juicy Platypuses"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Creepy Island

Polluted Carousal

Fragility City

Random Events

Ninja is heard screaming

Procession overflows

Vagrant Attempts to rob a bank

Turtle Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Paisley's Candlesticks Consulting

Willis's Letter Opener Solutions

Rogers's Spare brick Arcade

Singh's End Table Labs

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Flooding Room of Extermination

Objects

Candlesticks that is glowing

Spare brick that has been hollowed out

Secret Letter Opener

Hidden Button

Club of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards exchange places with someone else nearby

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lauren Willis "The Hearts" Merchant Music Flowers
Santiago Rogers "Indigo Matzo Balls" Mole Glass Lipstick
Miles Reyes Accountant Water Comic Books
Paisley Matthews The Body Coffee Cellphones
Mila Singh Cobbler Cousins Death

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).