The Director Welcomes You

The Fly The Blackest Black Protocol

#f1d455

Location

Dry, Dry Sierra Leone

Time of Day

1:34

Extraction Point

101 Miles NW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "White kobold" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Ghost Town". We need you to eliminate them, Evenly. Their last known location was recorded at 14:14. You have a Fluffy Candle as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Presley Nguyen

Alias

"White kobold"

Features

4' 2"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Right thumb

Organization

The Community of Dire Fang

Emotions

Concern

Personality

Evenly Easy

Motive

Make a lot of money to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Ralphie the "Girthy Hydra"

Physical Size

Petty

Story

Additional Locations

The Attractive Barn Dance

Underwater Shelter

Good Spirits Circus

Random Events

Gang arrives in the mail

Reindeer Bursts loudly

Odor is heard screaming

Diary Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Matteo's Certificate Warehouse

Gill's Grandfather Clock Arcade

Farmer's Chaise Threads

George's Telescope Worldwide

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Javelin of The Blackest Black

Objects

Certificate made of heavy metal

Chaise that is glowing

Secret Grandfather Clock

Hidden Axe

Rapier of The Blackest Black

Wand of Wonder

Next puddle stepped in by target turns to glass

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Asher Gill "Meaty Thumbs" Merchant Soap Essential Oils
Jeremiah Farmer "Blue Lemons" Mole Lipstick Chili
Julia Steele Annoyed Robots Plushies
Matteo Roberts Actor Technology Houses
Daniel George Artist Drinking Candles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).