The Director Welcomes You

The Moldy Friends Conundrum

#f7bb29

Location

Dark, Windy Venezuela

Time of Day

19:14

Extraction Point

200 Miles SW

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Three Mongoose" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "A shrine is nearby at the Ghost Town". We need you to eliminate them, Deeply. Their last known location was recorded at 05:01. You have a Invisible Flute as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lyla Chavez

Alias

"Three Mongoose"

Features

6' 2"

Gray eyes

A second belly button / Left eye

Organization

The Unit of Delicious Lunch

Emotions

Afraid

Personality

Deeply Wooden

Motive

Take over a government to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Peter the "Bumpy giant"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Moldy Carnival

Archaic Spring

Pleasure Mansion

Random Events

Gypsy drops from the sky

Squirrel Attempts to rob a bank

Spice Box Crashes slowly

Deadbeat Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Alexander's Shirt Productions

Mclaughlin's Crock Logistics

Warner's Skeletal Animal Industries

Ellis's Bed Threads

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Poison Wall Spikes of Fatality

Objects

Shirt with a False bottom

Skeletal Animal made of heavy metal

Secret Crock

Hidden Helmet

Pants of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

Target ages at 2X normal rate unless he has a coin in his mouth

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Catherine Mclaughlin "Quiet Bagels" Merchant Pillows Eggs
Sofia Warner "Yellow Throats" Mole Fire Deodorant
Alexandra Yang Exhausted Pillows Trees
Alexander Waters Zestful Singing Bread
Valerie Ellis Soul Slippers Contracts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).