The Director Welcomes You

The Noisy Earrings Journey

#df803f

Location

Breezy, Miserable Mexico

Time of Day

21:14

Extraction Point

181 Miles NE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to climb a Hidden Citadel to look for a suspect by the name "Left Sloth". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the giants footsteps".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Dull Baking Tray in your kit to help.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kaleb Morrison

Alias

"Left Sloth"

Features

6' 5"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Association of Panicky Yeast

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Solemnly Dusty

Motive

Take over a country to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Al the "Deep Python"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Noisy Park

Deserted Forge

Cleanliness Peninsula

Random Events

Dracula Salutes the adventurers

Crying Child runs over an infant

Bard Bounces oddly

Nomad Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Amy's Tea Pot Logistics

Clarke's Coat Warehouse

Roberts's Stamp Set Wardrobe

Peters's Quill and Ink Boutique

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Large Net of Animosity

Objects

Tea Pot children's replica

Stamp Set with a False bottom

Secret Coat

Hidden Goblet

Rock of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

Beneficial magic potions have an opposite effect upon the caster

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Melanie Clarke "Quiet Ankles" Merchant Butterflies Technology
Easton Roberts "Nice Cappuccinos" Mole Cookies Acorns
Ella Howell Dead Tired Horses Coffee
Amy Owen Funeral Director Candy Deodorant
Jesse Peters Geologist Sailboats Sun Glasses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).