The Director Welcomes You

The Fork Passion Incident

#f9b613

Location

Dull, Mild United Kingdom

Time of Day

13:28

Extraction Point

94 Miles W

Time to Complete

26 Hours

Scrutinizers,
I have sent you to within earshot of a Ancient Isle to look for a suspect by the name "Little Opossums". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the giants footsteps".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Tissues in your kit to help.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Harrison Mills

Alias

"Little Opossums"

Features

5' 10"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Bureau of Vast Donkey

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Voluntarily Calamitous

Motive

Take over a government to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Nick the "Delightful Kaiju"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Gentle Crypt

Hidden Park

The Blackest Black Carnival

Random Events

Majestic Painting gathers near a point of interest

Spectator Salutes the adventurers

Husband overflows

Ninja explodes

World

Stores

Graham's Flower in Vase Group

Webster's Flower in Vase Specialities

Hardy's Watch Chic Chåteau

Wolfe's Taxidermy animal Worldwide

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Tripping Chain of Passion

Objects

Flower in Vase made of heavy metal

Watch with a False bottom

Secret Flower in Vase

Hidden Scimitar

Polearm of Passion

Wand of Wonder

Each day, caster wakes nearly out of his mind with rage

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Richard Webster "Stiff Bones" Merchant Butterflies Dolphins
Rowan Hardy "Five Elbows" Mole Drinking Lamps
Cameron Vargas Athlete Tea Fire
Graham Wolf Psychiatrist Essential Oils Sticky Notes
Hadley Wolfe Technician Rubber Bands Sponges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).