The Director Welcomes You

Operation β€” Pitiful Gold

#0e4e64

Location

Miserable, Breezy Bulgaria

Time of Day

18:39

Extraction Point

83 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Colton Barber has gone missing and we believe "Indigo Imp" is responsible. They were last seen in Bulgaria at 23:17. The agent sent one final message – "A roll of thunder at the Rainbow Mountain". Take this Dull Blender - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

β€” The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Oscar Robinson

Alias

"Indigo Imp"

Features

4' 9"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Sorority of Petulant Tramp

Emotions

Inferior

Personality

Loyally Attractive

Motive

Disrupt the military to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Larry the "Magnificent Griffin"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Pitiful Grove

Expensive Fortress

Competency Lake

Random Events

Bunny Is under a curse

Store approaches

Leopard Protests

Skeleton approaches

World

Stores

Wyatt's Bicycle Threads

Thomas's Flowers Growing Couture

Le's Statue Closet

Barber's Creeping Vines Logistics

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Water-Filled Room of Influence

Objects

Bicycle made of heavy metal

Statue that has been hollowed out

Secret Flowers Growing

Hidden Boomerang

Knife of Influence

Wand of Wonder

Caster is stripped of monetary wealth except what he’s carrying

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ian Thomas "Chunky Scars" Merchant Plushies Pillows
Brantley Le "Gross Hot Dogs" Mole Peanut Butter Ice Cubes
Lydia Peters Drunken Honey Limes
Wyatt Wong Funeral Director Cookies Comic Books
Colton Barber Engineer Photography Bread

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).