The Director Welcomes You

Who is John Rocket?

#2349de

Location

Frigid, Miserable Jordan

Time of Day

3:2

Extraction Point

6 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Touristy Jungle . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Gross Wraith" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Flooded Crystal". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Heavy Tape Measure hidden on you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maxwell Chapman

Alias

"Gross Wraith"

Features

7' 1"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Right thumb

Organization

The Agency of Shrilling Curmudgeon

Emotions

Confident

Personality

Woefully Late

Motive

Take over a country to be left alone

Bodyguard

John the "Melted Rhinoceroses"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Puny Circus

Deserted Fortress

Obsession Port

Random Events

Whore grabs a lady's purse

Corncob is loose

Vegetable stop the party and asks questions

Bag of Flour Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Josiah's Sconce Threads

Patel's Credenza Mall

Goodwin's Telescope Convenience store

Sutton's Tapestry Properties

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Tripping Chain of Pleasure

Objects

Sconce that is glowing

Telescope children's replica

Secret Credenza

Hidden Spear

Blindfold of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing gloves, he can’t remove them

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Thomas Patel "Tough Toes" Merchant Eggs Oranges
Judy Goodwin "Green Feet" Mole Slippers Tea
Ethan Gonzalez Musician Glitter Glitter
Josiah Gonzalez Physician Painting Essential Oils
Carter Sutton Electrician Squirrels Chocolate

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).