The Director Welcomes You

The Paper Bag Expiration Incident

#6a0b52

Location

Windless, Rainy Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Time of Day

19:36

Extraction Point

107 Miles SW

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "Five Nymph" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Beast's Maze". We need you to eliminate them, Eagerly. Their last known location was recorded at 11:05. You have a Delicate Battery as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Bella Park

Alias

"Five Nymph"

Features

4' 10"

Green eyes

Small mole / Right middle finger

Organization

The Clique of Gifted Oatmeal

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Eagerly Flaky

Motive

Take over a country to become rich

Bodyguard

Ralphie the "Empty Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Happy Chateau

Pitch Black Business

Dark Lagoon

Random Events

Biscuit Is being detained

Vagrant Integrates silently into the group

Crow Spontaneously disintegrates

Majestic Painting Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Julian's Suit of armor Department store

Oconnor's Crate Properties

Leon's Goblet Bureau

Mason's Easel Threads

Traps

Poison Needle

Camouflaged Pit of Expiration

Objects

Suit of armor with a False bottom

Goblet that has been hollowed out

Secret Crate

Hidden Chastity Belt

Sword of Expiration

Wand of Wonder

Caster is rumored to have placed a huge bounty on his own head

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Addison Oconnor "Big Scars" Merchant Photography Whipped Cream
Roman Leon "Quiet Pastrami's" Mole Shirts Flashlights
Robert Bush Counselor Drinking Jazz
Julian Andrews Depressed Clocks Cellphones
London Mason Cobbler Music Lamps

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).