The Director Welcomes You

Specialities Royale

#c4f79d

Location

Calm, Balmy Guyana

Time of Day

12:51

Extraction Point

91 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Cameron Strickland has gone missing and we believe "Green Nymph" is responsible. They were last seen in Guyana at 07:13. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the dancing-trees". Take this Bulbous Blouse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gabriella Estrada

Alias

"Green Nymph"

Features

6' 11"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Neck

Organization

The Commission of Savory Shaft

Emotions

Dreading

Personality

Jovially Hirsute

Motive

Make a lot of money in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Square Seal"

Physical Size

Shrimpy

Story

Additional Locations

The Elevated Isle

Underground Carnival

Happiness Peninsula

Random Events

Nearby Gas Tank Spontaneously disintegrates

Dancer runs over an infant

Husband Gets their hand chopped off

Leopard screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Bryson's Suit of armor Specialities

Willis's Tapestry Arcade

Jacobs's Wingback chair Market

Strickland's Hose Solutions

Traps

Ice lock

Reverse Gravity of Contentment

Objects

Suit of armor that is glowing

Wingback chair that is glowing

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Gauntlet

Key of Contentment

Wand of Wonder

Target has a strange tattoo that, if touched, causes him to weep

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aurora Willis "Plump Hot Dogs" Merchant Coffee Boxes
Mary Jacobs "Blue Stomachs" Mole Contracts Christmas
Christopher Norris Zestful Easter Oranges
Bryson Francis Consultant Trees Horses
Cameron Strickland Athlete Bracelets Dice

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).