The Director Welcomes You

The Grumpy Loss Journey

#8ed717

Location

Miserable, Dark Denmark

Time of Day

16:28

Extraction Point

192 Miles N

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Investigators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Hanging Birdcage with a False bottom. Get to Denmark at 01:02

Good Luck.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alexandra Martinez

Alias

"Chunky Armadillo"

Features

7' 9"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Bunch of Arid Slime

Emotions

Pleased

Personality

Truly Contemporary

Motive

Take over a country for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Tim the "Sensual Golem"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Grumpy City

Touristy Festival

Grave Consequences Spring

Random Events

Crow approaches

Rhapsody is robbed

Chicken Is throwing a BBQ

Prostitute Evades the law

World

Stores

Avery's Hanging Birdcage Ventures

Park's Oil Lamp Closet

Potter's Counter Boutique

Marshall's Iron stove Boutique

Traps

Bestow Curse

Tripping Chain of Expiration

Objects

Hanging Birdcage with a False bottom

Counter made of heavy metal

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Frying Pan

Sickle of Expiration

Wand of Wonder

Target has ironclad proof that he’s a prophesied savior

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Arianna Park "Golden Spleens" Merchant Doves Jigsaw Puzzles
Dominic Potter "Stiff Eyes" Mole Television Ice Cubes
Lincoln Fisher Hotel Manager Syrup Jigsaw Puzzles
Avery Washington Actor Batteries Socks
Brianna Marshall Dead Tired Oranges Syrup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).