The Director Welcomes You

The Splint Exuberance Incident

#572a75

Location

Cloudless, Foggy Guyana

Time of Day

10:33

Extraction Point

51 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to descend into Rundown Masquerade to look for a suspect by the name "Dull ghost". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A lone flower growing at the dry riverbed".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Slippery Battery in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Rowan Roberts

Alias

"Dull ghost"

Features

6' 2"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Right thumb

Organization

The Board of Huge Butter

Emotions

Panicked

Personality

Patiently Insolent

Motive

Take over a country to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Emily the "Baked Cockatrice"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Unsightly Lodge

Pitch Black Crypt

Happiness Forest

Random Events

Crazy Man is being loudly arrested

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is under a curse

Goblet is loose

Tramp Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Eli's Vase Wardrobe

Benson's Clamp Boutique

Wade's End Table Market

Rhodes's Workbench Creative

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Fire of Exuberance

Objects

Vase that is glowing

End Table made of heavy metal

Secret Clamp

Hidden Button

Sword of Exuberance

Wand of Wonder

Each day, caster wakes to find a loaf of warm bread on his chest

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ivy Benson "Short Hands" Merchant Deodorant Snowglobes
Valentina Wade "Big Matzo Balls" Mole Basketball Snowglobes
Jonah Sparks Judge Candy Syrup
Eli Ortiz Engineer Cats Trucks
Jocelyn Rhodes Exhilarated Flowers Contracts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).