The Director Welcomes You

The Religion Rage Protocol

#ae5b1e

Location

Calm, Wet France

Time of Day

11:23

Extraction Point

132 Miles N

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Snoopers,
We need your help. Agent Hayden Hanson has gone missing and we believe "The Beast" is responsible. They were last seen in France at 01:07. The agent sent one final message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Unicorn Nest". Take this Colorful Cake - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sherri Ross

Alias

"The Beast"

Features

4' 5"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Unit of Salmon Thumb

Emotions

Hurt

Personality

Fully Bloody

Motive

Disrupt the military to be left alone

Bodyguard

Randy the "Infantile Chimera"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Petite Peninsula

Expensive Pond

Ice Jungle

Random Events

Softball screams at the top of their lungs

VAT of Broth Is frozen into a block of ice

Vagrant Glistens gently

Cat gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Nathaniel's Large book Creative

Hopkins's Plaster Bust Market

Frazier's Hatrack Ventures

Hanson's Creeping Vines Little shop

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Fire of Rage

Objects

Large book that is glowing

Hatrack made of heavy metal

Secret Plaster Bust

Hidden Coin

File of Rage

Wand of Wonder

Next potion imbibed by caster makes him -4 to Save vs Fortitude

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emily Hopkins "Mini Boy" Merchant Sharp Things Television
Andrew Frazier "Wild Waffles" Mole Deodorant Books
Greyson Wagner Secretary Boxes Flashlights
Nathaniel Castillo Exhilarated Limes Flashlights
Hayden Hanson Annoyed Cooking Bells

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).