The Director Welcomes You

The Headquarters Passion Protocol

#b394cd

Location

Bright, Foul Indonesia

Time of Day

23:11

Extraction Point

112 Miles E

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Two Mummy" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Three Fingers". We need you to eliminate them, Well. Their last known location was recorded at 18:23. You have a Beautiful Baking Tray as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aaliyah Wells

Alias

"Two Mummy"

Features

5' 6"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The Firm of Gorgeous Rum

Emotions

Depressed

Personality

Well Dilligent

Motive

Make a lot of money for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Donald the "Broken Roc"

Physical Size

Small-scale

Story

Additional Locations

The Sour Chateau

Compact Fortress

Calming Island

Random Events

Softball Adopts a nearby child

Crazy Man Is throwing a protest

Odor Catches leprosy

Pine Branch Bounces oddly

World

Stores

David's Chaise Brothers

Salinas's Butter Churner Wardrobe

Turner's Fire poker set Convenience store

Ryan's Spice shelf Productions

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Phantasmal Killer of Passion

Objects

Chaise that has been hollowed out

Fire poker set that has been hollowed out

Secret Butter Churner

Hidden Stave

Crossbow of Passion

Wand of Wonder

Caster suspects that someone nearby is a mechanical automaton

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dominic Salinas "Indigo Lungs" Merchant Gym Memberships Limes
Serenity Turner "Silver Parmigianas" Mole Books Plushies
Rowan Fernandez Frustrated Mirrors Dinosaurs
David Jacobs Actor Television Football
Jace Ryan Animator Balloons Money

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).