The Director Welcomes You

Who is Frankie Burn?

#2e31ba

"Eyeballs,
Welcome to the Overcast, Mild El Salvador. It should be 08:10 where you are. I have sent you to within a Crowded Castle to look for a suspect by the name "Heavy Kraken". Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but they sent us this cryptic message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Three Fingers". We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Angry Toothbrush in your kit to help. This mission is clandestine.

Keep quiet. Play cool. And remember you are actual, functional, professional spies."

– The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ethan Moran

Alias

"Heavy Kraken"

Features

5' 5"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Left eye

Organization

The Guild of Portly Purse

Motive

Take over a country for scientific discovery

Biological Weapon

AfatAroSyn

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Square Elves"

Physical Size

Petite

Personality

Greatly Elevated

Story

Additional Locations

The Harsh Park

Expensive Sanctuary

Good Spirits Circus

Random Events

Crying Child overflows

Bard Crashes slowly

Pine Branch Spontaneously disintegrates

Crying Child screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Kimberly's Metal chair Technologies

Parsons's Taxidermy animal Emporium

Griffin's Butter Churner Outlet

Cook's Wingback chair Ventures

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Ice lock of Disaster

Objects

Metal chair that has been hollowed out

Butter Churner made of heavy metal

Secret Taxidermy animal

Hidden Watch

Sword of Disaster

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Raelynn Parsons "Nice Lemons" Merchant Technology Bears
Oscar Griffin "Heavy Cappuccinos" Mole Bread Cookies
Brody Marshall Operator Sun Glasses Syrup
Kimberly Stone Cobbler Tea Tissues
Cameron Cook Old Timer Bells Doors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).