The Director Welcomes You

Who is Terry Dinosaurs?

#1d0eac

Location

Stormy, Frigid Niger

Time of Day

14:52

Extraction Point

2 Miles SW

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Xavier Blair has gone missing and we believe "Green Turtle" is responsible. They were last seen in Niger at 22:18. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Turtle Rock". Take this Dull Spoon - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Matteo Chen

Alias

"Green Turtle"

Features

6' 1"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The Club of Melted Thing

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Fairly Filthy

Motive

Take over a government to please their master

Bodyguard

Terry the "Cold Meerkat"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Blue Lodge

Touristy Island

Demise Business

Random Events

Skeleton Crashes slowly

Potato Is getting confiscated

Dancer is being loudly arrested

Corncob approaches

World

Stores

Greyson's Sconce Supermarket

Gross's Hatrack Collective

Bates's Bicycle Couture

Blair's Quill and Ink Industries

Traps

Razor-Wire across Hallway

Fusillade of Darts of Secrecy

Objects

Sconce that is glowing

Bicycle children's replica

Secret Hatrack

Hidden Targe

Button of Secrecy

Wand of Wonder

Any open wounds in the area heal into ugly, purplish scars

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ashley Gross "Quiet Hearts" Merchant Limes Socks
Molly Bates "Bullet Matzo Balls" Mole Rubber Bands Gym Memberships
Eliza Howard Firefighter Rubber Bands Chickens
Greyson Morrison Bruised Drinking Easter
Xavier Blair Psychiatrist Sharp Things Children's Stories

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).