The Director Welcomes You

The Scarcely Mysterious Agent

#5ba051

Location

Arid, Foggy Sudan, South

Time of Day

20:48

Extraction Point

86 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside approach a Polluted Castle . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Cramped Giraffe" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A lone flower growing at the Boneyard". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Robotic Cigarette hidden on you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Logan Hamilton

Alias

"Cramped Giraffe"

Features

6' 5"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Left thumb

Organization

The Task Force of Obtuse Throat

Emotions

Sorrow

Personality

Scarcely Municipal

Motive

Take over a country to be left alone

Bodyguard

Billy the "Heavy Bull"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Mysterious Villa

Pitch Black Citadel

Reservation Tower

Random Events

Amulet Finds gold in the water

Box of Mice Protests

Sewer meets disaster

Box of Cigarette Ignites violently

World

Stores

Maverick's Doorway Warehouse

Graves's Crate Brothers

Moore's Staircase Boutique

Aguilar's Suit of armor Productions

Traps

Collapsing Column

Poison Dart of Bitterness

Objects

Doorway that has been hollowed out

Staircase that has been hollowed out

Secret Crate

Hidden Wrench

Whip of Bitterness

Wand of Wonder

Trees and bushes express open hostility toward the caster

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zion Graves "Obese Arms" Merchant Paper Acorns
Oliver Moore "Junior Hands" Mole Bears Soccer
Zachary Deleon Indifferent Cookies Cats
Maverick Bates Master Distiller Sharp Things Washing Machines
Lucy Aguilar Elder Rubber Bands Technology

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).