The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Most Postoffice

#9f8aba

Location

Windless, Warm Thailand

Time of Day

15:20

Extraction Point

145 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Large book made of heavy metal. Get to Thailand at 19:20

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Isaiah Solis

Alias

"Orange Werewolf"

Features

5' 6"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Company of Worn Cocktail

Emotions

Overwhelmed

Personality

Always Rabid

Motive

Take over a country to be left alone

Bodyguard

Alex the "Curious Spirit"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Most House

Expensive Forge

Annihilation Barn Dance

Random Events

Woman runs over an infant

Lactose Intolerance is loose

Midwife scurries by

Vagrant Is accused by the law

World

Stores

Brody's Large book Bureau

McDaniel's Glass Jars Logistics

Hartman's Butter Churner Consulting

Carter's Vase Emporium

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Bear Trap of Rage

Objects

Large book made of heavy metal

Butter Churner that is glowing

Secret Glass Jars

Hidden Camera

Credit Card of Rage

Wand of Wonder

One of target’s hands glows brightly in the presence of magic 4795 One of target’s hands is fireproof, but he never knows which one

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dylan McDaniel "King Cheesecakes" Merchant Bears Paperclips
Charlie Hartman "Gross Thumbs" Mole Paper Drinking
Jason Greene Drummer Soccer Glass
Brody Kramer Professional Cuddler Rubber Bands Notes
Christian Carter Scientist Rubber Stamps Singing

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).