The Director Welcomes You

Hope, Knowledge, Bra, Spy.

#20ee59

Location

Foggy, Gorgeous Kiribati

Time of Day

20:58

Extraction Point

80 Miles E

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Eyeballs,
It seems "Chunky Elves" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for money at the Seven Dead". We need you to eliminate them, Perfectly. Their last known location was recorded at 22:08. You have a Rusty Pair of Gloves as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Savannah Cobb

Alias

"Chunky Elves"

Features

4' 4"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Right hand

Organization

The Bunch of Grumpy Bra

Emotions

Amused

Personality

Perfectly Ambitious

Motive

Make a lot of money for a love interest

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Robust Bear"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Delightful Masquerade

Bustling Barn Dance

Death Citadel

Random Events

VAT of Broth Protests

Lactose Intolerance strikes the ground

Horse Carriage is heard screaming

Keg chase a suspect

World

Stores

Micah's Certificate Labs

Simon's Goblet Outlet

Stevens's Key Bureau

Hernandez's Sculpture Properties

Traps

Arrow

Javelin of Power

Objects

Certificate that has been hollowed out

Key that has been hollowed out

Secret Goblet

Hidden Boiled Leather

Stave of Power

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby inherits wealth equal to a small nation’s treasury

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Harrison Simon "Three Ankles" Merchant Tissues Cats
Laila Stevens "Green Noses" Mole Robots Rocks
Olivia Frazier Butcher Technology Octopus
Micah Marquez Mechanic Children's Stories Rubber Bands
Willow Hernandez Dog surfing instructor Clocks Lamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).