The Director Welcomes You

The Security Silence Protocol



Cloudy, Bright Romania

Time of Day


Extraction Point

40 Miles S

Time to Complete

2 Hours

We need your help. Agent Jonathan Carrillo has gone missing and we believe "Four Dolphin" is responsible. They were last seen in Romania at 01:06. The agent sent one final message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Crossroads". Take this Bulbous Cake - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier


August Herrera


"Four Dolphin"


5' 2"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Left thumb


The Commission of Bad Crib




Gently Ambitious


Take over a government for revenge


David the "Wide potato"

Physical Size



Additional Locations

The Edgy Forge

Compact Crypt

Silence Forest

Random Events

Crazy Man Evades the law

Feminist stop the party and asks questions

Amulet Strikes the church bell

Building Calls menacingly



Micah's Bed Little shop

Williamson's Ring Wardrobe

Black's Chaise Ventures

Carrillo's Medallion Warehouse


Black Tentacles

Bear Trap of Silence


Bed that is glowing

Chaise that is glowing

Secret Ring

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Stave of Silence

Wand of Wonder

Target acts as though he’s the only person who really exists


Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Esther Williamson "Cheap Ankles" Merchant Drinking Bread
Brooklyn Black "Chunky Scars" Mole Comic Books Cousins
Evelyn Barnes Stressed Lipstick Christmas
Micah Frank Professional Bridesmaid Sponges Sun Glasses
Jonathan Carrillo Engineer Doors Paperclips









The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.


90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.


This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.


No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).