The Director Welcomes You

Handle, Glasses, Scales, Spy.

#07902d

"Meddlers,
Welcome to the Dull, Hot Ecuador. It should be 00:18 where you are. I have sent you to within earshot of a Pitch Black Forge to look for a suspect by the name "The Hobgoblin". Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to uncover their plans. We don't know much about their goals but they sent us this cryptic message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Turtle Rock". We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clean Ballpoint Pen in your kit to help. This mission is counterintelligence.

Keep quiet. Play cool. And remember you are actual, functional, professional spies."

– The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Robin Lambert

Alias

"The Hobgoblin"

Features

7' 2"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Neck

Organization

The Council of Brutish Scales

Motive

Take over a government because of grief and loss

Biological Weapon

HuAroTra

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Wooden Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Giant

Personality

Miserably Boned

Story

Additional Locations

The Nutty Pond

Deserted Barn Dance

Pleasure Lagoon

Random Events

Delivery Guy Is being tortured

Rustler Balances on a ledge

Bag of Lemons Gets their hand chopped off

Squirrel Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Khloe's Bicycle Unlimited

Brown's Footlocker Closet

Rios's Easel Solutions

Thomas's Watch Bazaar

Traps

Floor Net

Collapsing Column of Extinction

Objects

Bicycle children's replica

Easel made of heavy metal

Secret Footlocker

Hidden Lipstick

Blowgun of Extinction

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Santiago Brown "Right Ankles" Merchant Video Games Water
Alexandra Rios "Plump Arms" Mole Lions Sun Glasses
Mackenzie Fowler Veteran Sponges Chocolate
Khloe Cross Talent agent Music Candles
Jesus Thomas Demon Stickers Rabbits

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).