The Director Welcomes You

Who is Prince Quality?

#32ed23

Location

Arid, Rainy Andorra

Time of Day

5:48

Extraction Point

142 Miles SE

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Sleuths,
It seems "Nice Minotaur" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "A shrine is nearby at the dry riverbed". We need you to eliminate them, Acidly. Their last known location was recorded at 01:07. You have a Feminine Nuts and Bolts as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Steven Steele

Alias

"Nice Minotaur"

Features

7' 9"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right hand

Organization

The Task Force of Refined Teeth

Emotions

Anguished

Personality

Acidly Sparse

Motive

Take over a country out of survival

Bodyguard

Prince the "Modern Meerkat"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Victorious Forge

Expensive Port

Obliteration Lodge

Random Events

Tramp Is accused by the law

Demon scurries by

Baker Crashes slowly

Hound Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Kennedy's Marionette Atelier

Terry's Bell Productions

Navarro's Window Consulting

Bowman's Oil Lamp Convenience store

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Falling Block of Enjoyment

Objects

Marionette that has been hollowed out

Window that is glowing

Secret Bell

Hidden Banana

Shield of Enjoyment

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby is unable to move from this area until sunrise

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nolan Terry "Mini Muscles" Merchant Attention Snowglobes
Austin Navarro "King Cappuccinos" Mole Potatoes Rocks
Melody Willis Barber Rubber Bands Books
Kennedy Chapman Actor Candles Water
Theodore Bowman Vision Sharp Things Lipstick

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).