The Director Welcomes You

The Sharply Bewildered Agent

#079522

Location

Warm, Rainy Palau

Time of Day

14:44

Extraction Point

71 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

1 Hours

Investigators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Taxidermy animal children's replica. Get to Palau at 23:11

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Weston Mack

Alias

"No Goblins"

Features

6' 2"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Club of Dubious Map

Emotions

Trust

Personality

Sharply Loose

Motive

Make a lot of money because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Prince the "Cold Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Bewildered Chateau

Crowded Fortress

Casualties Manor

Random Events

Alligator Strikes the church bell

Odor Balances on a ledge

Dracula Skips merrily

Reindeer Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Hannah's Taxidermy animal Solutions

Le's Kitchen knife Market

Robinson's Letter Opener Couture

Rhodes's Painting Logistics

Traps

Bear Trap

Dropping Ceiling of Influence

Objects

Taxidermy animal children's replica

Letter Opener children's replica

Secret Kitchen knife

Hidden Bangle

Throwing Dart of Influence

Wand of Wonder

Target ages 1d10 years per day for the next 1d4 weeks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Levi Le "Wild Tongues" Merchant Flashlights Squirrels
Rowan Robinson "Orange Thumbs" Mole Essential Oils Paperclips
Adrian Wagner Veterinarian Mirrors Sharp Things
Hannah Stewart Envious Sun Glasses Cookies
Elizabeth Rhodes Indifferent Cooking Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).