The Director Welcomes You

The Mass Pleasure Protocol

#d726d2

Location

Stormy, Gloomy Chile

Time of Day

1:45

Extraction Point

23 Miles S

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Investigators,
It seems "Violet Orcs" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "A thick fog rolls in at the dancing-trees". We need you to eliminate them, Certainly. Their last known location was recorded at 19:13. You have a Bulbous Hammock as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayden Todd

Alias

"Violet Orcs"

Features

6' 9"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left leg

Organization

The Department of Humid Year

Emotions

Frustrated

Personality

Certainly Adorable

Motive

Take over a government to be left alone

Bodyguard

Jose the "Faint Rabbit"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Lively Circus

Underwater Maze

Indecision Festival

Random Events

Skeleton explodes

VAT of Broth Skips merrily

Squirrel gathers near a point of interest

Procession Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Waylon's Lounge Chair Department store

Love's Notebook Discount

Rodgers's Sconce Supermarket

Schwartz's Flower in Vase Convenience store

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Scything Blade of Pleasure

Objects

Lounge Chair that is glowing

Sconce children's replica

Secret Notebook

Hidden Chastity Belt

Crossbow of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby truly believes that he’s a prophesized redeemer

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Margaret Love "Heavy Churros" Merchant Snowglobes Mirrors
Bryson Rodgers "Blue Eyes" Mole Video Games Boxes
Luke Hamilton Hairdresser Soup Painting
Waylon Lucas Dentist Cats Horses
Jason Schwartz Elder Bracelets Scarves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).