The Director Welcomes You

The Rub Downfall Protocol

#00a28b

Location

Cloudy, Chilly Brazil

Time of Day

16:8

Extraction Point

188 Miles SW

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Zachary Patel has gone missing and we believe "Slow Python" is responsible. They were last seen in Brazil at 06:12. The agent sent one final message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Skull shaped island". Take this Explosive Tape Measure - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Roman Mills

Alias

"Slow Python"

Features

6' 8"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Left leg

Organization

The Agency of Rabid Star

Emotions

Uncomfortable

Personality

Yearly Boiled

Motive

Take over a country to control the Children

Bodyguard

Jose the "Jagged Bear"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Cerulean Tower

Archaic Circus

Cleanliness Jungle

Random Events

Bear gathers near a point of interest

Skeleton stop the party and asks questions

Wanderer is being loudly arrested

Wanderer Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Henry's Portrait Chic Chåteau

Ayala's Globe International

Morales's Workbench Arcade

Patel's Creeping Vines Consulting

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Flooded Corridor of Downfall

Objects

Portrait made of heavy metal

Workbench with a False bottom

Secret Globe

Hidden Bangle

Banana of Downfall

Wand of Wonder

No one within 50 yards needs to breathe until dawn tomorrow

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Santiago Ayala "Two Lox" Merchant Sharp Things Whipped Cream
Justin Morales "No Muscles" Mole Essential Oils Flashlights
Brooke Bowen Angry Water Cousins
Henry French Optimistic Glass Teeth
Zachary Patel Plumber Stickers Candy

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).