The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Proud Safety

#537260

Location

Bright, Balmy Uruguay

Time of Day

2:9

Extraction Point

73 Miles N

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Meddlers,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Underwater Acropolis . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Little Gargoyle" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An object nearby starts bleeding at the dancing-trees". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Evil Battery hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Emily McDaniel

Alias

"Little Gargoyle"

Features

6' 1"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Crotch

Organization

The Unit of Nefarious Lighthouse

Emotions

Enthusiastic

Personality

Quicker Mealy

Motive

Take over a country to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Randy the "Defeated Orcs"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Proud Business

Polluted Port

Oblivion Villa

Random Events

Rustler skins a cat with his teeth

Crying Child Glistens gently

Chauvinist Is being detained

Drunk gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Faith's Hanging Birdcage Little shop

Leonard's Plaster Bust Cosmetics

Ford's Landscape Labs

Saunders's Medallion Consulting

Traps

Poison Wall Spikes

Lightning Bolt of Demise

Objects

Hanging Birdcage that is glowing

Landscape that is glowing

Secret Plaster Bust

Hidden Mace

Bottle of Demise

Wand of Wonder

Target babbles incoherently for 2d10 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ryker Leonard "Nice Elbows" Merchant Candy Soccer
Autumn Ford "Three Ribs" Mole Television Trucks
Daisy Pham Graphic Designer Sticky Notes Children's Stories
Faith Brewer Banker Hamsters Cats
Morris Saunders Indifferent Socks Attention

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).