The Director Welcomes You

The Courageously Warm Agent

#5f020d

Location

Cloudless, Frigid Dominican Republic

Time of Day

10:18

Extraction Point

160 Miles W

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to enter a Pitch Black Crypt to look for a suspect by the name "Junior Merfolk". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A pool of blood at the Where grass will not grow".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Mechanical Lighter in your kit to help.

β€” The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sophie Lawson

Alias

"Junior Merfolk"

Features

7' 1"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Alliance of Boiled Memory

Emotions

Hesitant

Personality

Courageously Fat

Motive

Take over a country to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Long Humanoid"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Warm Fortress

Overpopulated City

Instability Isle

Random Events

Hound Skips merrily

Safe Adopts a nearby child

Goblet explodes

Softball meets disaster

World

Stores

Molly's Stairwell Threads

Sullivan's Sconce Industries

Morrison's Glass Jars Couture

Wolf's Bell Mall

Traps

Poison Needle

Water-Filled Room of Grave Consequences

Objects

Stairwell made of heavy metal

Glass Jars that is glowing

Secret Sconce

Hidden Scimitar

Spikes of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Target wakes each day certain that he’s been buried for weeks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jace Sullivan "Orange Fingers" Merchant Potatoes Hamsters
Emily Morrison "Dull Lungs" Mole Television Cookies
Chloe Wong Phantom Cookies Robots
Molly Walsh Consultant Coffee Photography
Nicholas Wolf Librarian Flowers Sticks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).