The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Thousands Security

#8ef629

Location

Dark, Cool Barbados

Time of Day

12:33

Extraction Point

96 Miles NE

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Meddlers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Credenza made of heavy metal. Get to Barbados at 02:23

Good Luck.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Paige Doyle

Alias

"Golden Pheonix"

Features

4' 8"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Left leg

Organization

The Alliance of Jolly Stepmother

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Surprisingly Nervous

Motive

Take over a country for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Ralphie the "Encrypted Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Thousands Forest

Crowded Carousal

Exuberance Reef

Random Events

Lactose Intolerance Gets their hand chopped off

Water Vessel Is throwing a BBQ

Dancer Is frozen into a block of ice

Chunk of Beef Finds gold in the water

World

Stores

Aaliyah's Credenza Properties

Wang's Flowers Growing Arcade

Ortega's Globe Wardrobe

Johnson's Hose Labs

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Wall Blade of Violence

Objects

Credenza made of heavy metal

Globe made of heavy metal

Secret Flowers Growing

Hidden Trident

Cat of Violence

Wand of Wonder

Target’s allies go berserk if he is slain

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Addison Wang "Yellow Thumbs" Merchant Essential Oils Comic Books
Violet Ortega "Stiff Hands" Mole Physics Tigers
Samantha Elliott Townsfolk Tissues Comic Books
Aaliyah Benson Stressed Chickens Technology
Wyatt Johnson Bruised Cooking Sticks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).