The Director Welcomes You

Donkey Dick, Community, Shooting Range, Spy.

#ac5fdf

Location

Humid, Dry Eswatini

Time of Day

11:43

Extraction Point

142 Miles W

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to underneathe a Compact Island to look for a suspect by the name "One Giraffe". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Grove of Weeping Willows".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Beautiful Blaser in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Abigail Price

Alias

"One Giraffe"

Features

6' 9"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Right eye

Organization

The Company of Uptight Shooting Range

Emotions

Frustrated

Personality

Shyly Tender

Motive

Make a lot of money to control the Children

Bodyguard

Peter the "Gigantic Giraffe"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Steep Isle

Crowded Circus

Obsession Creek

Random Events

Box of Cigarette meets disaster

Dracula Adopts a nearby child

Pack of Wild Dogs Is frozen into a block of ice

Leopard stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Jasmine's Urn Labs

Kramer's Fruit Bowl International

Gonzalez's Trunk Brothers

Murphy's Drawers Bazaar

Traps

Chain Lightning

Collapsing Column of Calming

Objects

Urn that is glowing

Trunk with a False bottom

Secret Fruit Bowl

Hidden Rock

Notebook of Calming

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s spellbook appears to be on fire while it’s open

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Margaret Kramer "Cramped Scars" Merchant Photography Chili
Fiona Gonzalez "Casual Ribs" Mole Sponges Rubber Bands
Alex Fletcher Statistician Attention Sponges
Jasmine Hayes Plumber Houses Sharks
Andrea Murphy Actor Oranges Soap

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).