The Director Welcomes You

The Jizz Bliss Incident

#1a5475

Location

Cool, Stormy Thailand

Time of Day

13:46

Extraction Point

158 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Shadows,
I have sent you to climb a Compact Jungle to look for a suspect by the name "White Serpent". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Ivory Gate".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Beautiful Hammer in your kit to help.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Emma Weaver

Alias

"White Serpent"

Features

7' 9"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Left middle finger

Organization

The Order of Mango Yogapants

Emotions

Regretful

Personality

Diligently Dry

Motive

Make a lot of money out of greed

Bodyguard

George the "Affluent Elephant"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Black Carousal

Deserted Island

Calamity Carnival

Random Events

Majestic Painting meets disaster

Skeleton Strikes the church bell

Horse Carriage drops from the sky

Safe Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Greyson's Bureau Cosmetics

Washington's Bonsai Productions

Howell's Stairwell Arcade

Armstrong's Large book Cosmetics

Traps

Burning Hands

Tripping Chain of Bliss

Objects

Bureau made of heavy metal

Stairwell children's replica

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Whip

Stave of Bliss

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he can fly by leaping off of tall buildings

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Amy Washington "Dull Throats" Merchant Ice Cubes Socks
Carter Howell "Five Cheesecakes" Mole Oranges Baseball
Patrick Ortega Operator Water Chickens
Greyson Jensen Art Therapist Coffee Honey
Lucy Armstrong Engineer Notes Horses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).