The Director Welcomes You

Development, Pollution, Fact, Spy.

#28a581

Location

Cool, Dull China

Time of Day

17:18

Extraction Point

12 Miles N

Time to Complete

34 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Daniela Mullins has gone missing and we believe "Short Bull" is responsible. They were last seen in China at 17:15. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Ancient Fountain". Take this Explosive Cigarette - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Owen Ball

Alias

"Short Bull"

Features

5' 6"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Left leg

Organization

The Council of Gigantic Fact

Emotions

Interested

Personality

Righteously Chubby

Motive

Make a lot of money to lust for power

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Heavy Basilisk"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Huge Castle

Touristy Barn Dance

Secrecy Festival

Random Events

Bag of Lemons grabs a lady's purse

Bunny Is throwing a protest

Bag of Lemons Adopts a nearby child

Reindeer approaches

World

Stores

Morris's Pipe Beauty Stop

Pearson's Butter Churner Cosmetics

Ray's Shirt Little shop

Mullins's Basket Industries

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Rolling Rock of Secrecy

Objects

Pipe made of heavy metal

Shirt that is glowing

Secret Butter Churner

Hidden Coif

Stave of Secrecy

Wand of Wonder

The planet now rotates half as fast

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Charlie Pearson "Slow Hearts" Merchant Water Toilets
Everly Ray "Yellow Lemons" Mole Rabbits Clocks
Isabelle Moreno Barber Baseball Tigers
Morris Hodges Spirit Rabbits Singing
Daniela Mullins Graphic Designer Robots Chalk

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).