The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Straight Bat

#3245f8

Location

Icy, Dry Denmark

Time of Day

10:37

Extraction Point

172 Miles NE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Scarlett Simpson has gone missing and we believe "Orange Beholder" is responsible. They were last seen in Denmark at 02:00. The agent sent one final message – "An out of place door appears at the Great Shadow". Take this Sharp Banana - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Payton McDaniel

Alias

"Orange Beholder"

Features

5' 9"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The League of Numerous Existence

Emotions

Rageful

Personality

Unabashedly Noisy

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

James the "Sovereign Sloth"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Straight Masquerade

Hidden Port

Fury Castle

Random Events

Gunshot Evades the law

Sewer is robbed

Crazy Man is being loudly arrested

Store Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

Emilia's Paperweight Convenience store

Carroll's Potted Plant Warehouse

Walker's Stool Factory

Simpson's Stamp Set Industries

Traps

Poison Dart

Bestow Curse of Calming

Objects

Paperweight with a False bottom

Stool that is glowing

Secret Potted Plant

Hidden Shoe

Whip of Calming

Wand of Wonder

The target point is direct conduit to Elemental Air

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Catherine Carroll "One Kidneys" Merchant Dolphins Potatoes
Rose Walker "Violet Bagels" Mole Video Games Baseball
Thomas Cruz Dog surfing instructor Water Slippers
Emilia Fields Cosmetologist Sharp Things Flashlights
Scarlett Simpson Soul Slippers Deodorant

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).