The Director Welcomes You

The Lawyer Calming Incident

#d9b743

Location

Dull, Bright Spain

Time of Day

20:13

Extraction Point

44 Miles SE

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Peyton Richards has gone missing and we believe "Gross Drunken Irish Guy" is responsible. They were last seen in Spain at 23:14. The agent sent one final message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Big Momma". Take this Bulbous Ballpoint Pen - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lorenzo Hogan

Alias

"Gross Drunken Irish Guy"

Features

4' 9"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Right middle finger

Organization

The Office of Petite Splint

Emotions

Alienated

Personality

Mortally Regal

Motive

Take over a country to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Nancy the "Tiring Whale"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Mealy Isle

Desolate Circus

Redemption Villa

Random Events

Cauldron Lunges at the group

Bottle of Soy Sauce Skips merrily

Cat Is hurled at the adventurers

Princess approaches

World

Stores

Aaron's Sofa Atelier

Fields's Watch Supermarket

Harper's Lounge Chair Atelier

Richards's Rug Chic Chåteau

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Rune of Paralyzation of Calming

Objects

Sofa that has been hollowed out

Lounge Chair with a False bottom

Secret Watch

Hidden Staff

Ring of Calming

Wand of Wonder

Target has a raised, square protuberance jutting from his chest

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gracie Fields "King Spleens" Merchant Candles Children's Stories
Joel Harper "Obese Tongues" Mole Doves Whipped Cream
Faith Chen Architect Essential Oils Lamps
Aaron Riley Professional Cuddler Tea Rock n' Roll
Peyton Richards Police Officer Cousins Glass

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).