The Director Welcomes You

The Mass Censorship Protocol

#c64ac9

Location

Breezy, Cloudless Costa Rica

Time of Day

0:29

Extraction Point

132 Miles SE

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Caroline Evans has gone missing and we believe "Black Bigfoot" is responsible. They were last seen in Costa Rica at 15:05. The agent sent one final message – "A thick fog rolls in at the Devil's barrow". Take this Bulbous Tape Measure - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mary Diaz

Alias

"Black Bigfoot"

Features

6' 11"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Right thumb

Organization

The Community of Beautiful Hole

Emotions

Shamed

Personality

Vastly Curved

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Broad Elephant"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Savory Port

Hidden Pond

Ruin Isle

Random Events

Feminist Is being tortured

Storm is robbed

Meteor Ignites violently

Bear is robbed

World

Stores

Vivian's Rubber Plant Ventures

Gallagher's Oil Lamp Mall

Cook's Trophy Industries

Evans's Sofa Factory

Traps

Burning Hands

Crushing Room of Censorship

Objects

Rubber Plant with a False bottom

Trophy made of heavy metal

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Coif

Boiled Leather of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that his ancestors came from a distant world

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Tucker Gallagher "Stiff Churros" Merchant Bears Balloons
Zachary Cook "Big Throats" Mole Boxes Bracelets
Oliver Silva Veteran Paper Bears
Vivian Schroeder Artist Ice Cubes Hammers
Caroline Evans The Body Rubber Bands Batteries

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).