The Director Welcomes You

The Equally Wither Agent

#55796b

Location

Bright, Frigid Vanuatu

Time of Day

7:0

Extraction Point

97 Miles S

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to the outside of a Expensive Maze to look for a suspect by the name "One Bear". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Old battlefield".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Bulbous Towel in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Arya Doyle

Alias

"One Bear"

Features

5' 11"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Right arm

Organization

The Crew of Chilly Prince

Emotions

Liking

Personality

Equally Frilled

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Emily the "Bumpy Vampires"

Physical Size

Little

Story

Additional Locations

The Wither Jungle

Crowded Grove

Destruction House

Random Events

Majestic Painting Evades the law

Leopard strikes the ground

Bag of Lemons Is accused by the law

Bottle of Soy Sauce Ignites violently

World

Stores

Hayden's Lamp Properties

Gordon's Chair Solutions

Meyer's Lipstick Consulting

Henderson's Cabinet Bureau

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Rolling Rock of Euphoria

Objects

Lamp that is glowing

Lipstick that has been hollowed out

Secret Chair

Hidden Bow

Greaves of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, smoke pours from his nostrils

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brielle Gordon "Little Spleens" Merchant Paperclips Toilets
Kevin Meyer "Mad Lungs" Mole Fire Trees
Arya Vazquez Chief Executive Officer Potatoes Books
Hayden Hicks Exhausted Honey Octopus
Kylie Henderson Exhausted Eggs Teeth

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).