The Director Welcomes You

The Surly Throne Agent

#029227

"Silent Negotiators,
Welcome to the Breezy, Breezy Nepal. It should be 08:11 where you are. I have sent you to descend into Ancient Citadel to look for a suspect by the name "Chunky Roc". Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but they sent us this cryptic message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Hollow oak tree". We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clandestine Spoon in your kit to help. This mission is anti-surveillance.

Keep quiet. Play cool. And remember you are actual, functional, professional spies."

– The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Serenity Mack

Alias

"Chunky Roc"

Features

5' 10"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right eye

Organization

The Community of Pre-Pubescent Week

Motive

Take over a country out of desperation

Biological Weapon

PercTylRone

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Sticky Abominable Snowman"

Physical Size

Short

Personality

Deliberately Handsome

Story

Additional Locations

The Surly Peninsula

Touristy Spring

Contentment Barn Dance

Random Events

Potato Bounces oddly

Wedding Cake Is being kidnapped

Dead Animal strikes the ground

Softball is robbed

World

Stores

Edward's Goblet Factory

Walsh's Grandfather Clock Beauty Stop

Leon's Sculpture Emporium

Oconnor's Shoe Horn Bazaar

Traps

Beehive

Fusillade of Darts of Freshness

Objects

Goblet with a False bottom

Sculpture children's replica

Secret Grandfather Clock

Hidden Credit Card

Soy Sauce Packet of Freshness

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Michelle Walsh "Italian Eyes" Merchant Harmonica Trees
Harmony Leon "Yellow Lungs" Mole Hamsters Tissues
Hunter Chavez Statistician Soda Limes
Edward Taylor Dentist Sticks Candles
Naomi Oconnor Police Officer Paperclips Jigsaw Puzzles

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).