The Director Welcomes You

The Gladiator Destruction Incident

#0b015f

Location

Wet, Dull Malta

Time of Day

4:59

Extraction Point

46 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Cole Knight has gone missing and we believe "Junior Sprite" is responsible. They were last seen in Malta at 18:02. The agent sent one final message – "A lone flower growing at the Flooded Crystal". Take this Delicate Socks - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Xander Hines

Alias

"Junior Sprite"

Features

4' 6"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Fraternity of Delightful Luge

Emotions

Amazed

Personality

Scarily Juicy

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Fluffy Serpent"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Pernicious Barn Dance

Polluted Fortress

Perspiration Port

Random Events

Panhandler Evades the law

Reindeer explodes

Druid stop the party and asks questions

Spectator meets disaster

World

Stores

Valentina's Ceramic Crock Supermarket

Edwards's Brass Replica Du jour

Wong's Statue Atelier

Knight's Stool Mall

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Collapsing Column of Destruction

Objects

Ceramic Crock that is glowing

Statue that has been hollowed out

Secret Brass Replica

Hidden Boiled Leather

Bottle of Destruction

Wand of Wonder

Target is tied to the ground with rope made of his own hair

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Everett Edwards "Two Waffles" Merchant Fire Contracts
Adalynn Wong "Wild Feet" Mole Cousins Christmas
Brantley Edwards Surveyor Chickens Paper
Valentina Fox Physician Chickens Sharks
Cole Knight Psychiatrist Lions Eggs

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).