The Director Welcomes You

The Cheap Flavor Conundrum

#2d8869

"Ambassadors,
Welcome to the Balmy, Stormy Kiribati. It should be 12:19 where you are. I have sent you to underneathe a Pitch Black Circus to look for a suspect by the name "Small Hobgoblin". Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but they sent us this cryptic message – "The earth shakes briefly at the Hollow oak tree". We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Can Opener in your kit to help. This mission is intelligence.

Keep quiet. Play cool. And remember you are actual, functional, professional spies."

– The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Grant Alvarado

Alias

"Small Hobgoblin"

Features

7' 2"

Green eyes

Faint curved scar / Right arm

Organization

The Club of Defeated Curry

Motive

Disrupt the military because of a betrayal

Biological Weapon

AdPraceSone

Bodyguard

Jack the "Wooden Sprite"

Physical Size

Considerable

Personality

Deftly Damaged

Story

Additional Locations

The Cheap Creek

Archaic Grove

Cleanliness Villa

Random Events

Crow stop the party and asks questions

Cat Strikes the church bell

Dancer meets disaster

Pack of Wild Dogs arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Brooke's Lamp Market

Grant's Toolbox Labs

Pham's Sculpture Logistics

Keller's Sink Supermarket

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Flooded Corridor of Happiness

Objects

Lamp that is glowing

Sculpture made of heavy metal

Secret Toolbox

Hidden Bottle

Throwing Dart of Happiness

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Abraham Grant "Drowsy Parmigianas" Merchant Whipped Cream Cookies
Amaya Pham "Golden Thumbs" Mole Flashlights Syrup
Silas White Old Timer Sticky Notes Syrup
Brooke Fields Sad Candy Tigers
Samantha Keller Surgeon Attention Snowglobes

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).