The Director Welcomes You

Advertisement, Health, Country, Spy.

#df97f8

Location

Chilly, Warm Paraguay

Time of Day

14:0

Extraction Point

148 Miles SW

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Golden Vampires" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "A white horse dashes past at the Fallen King". We need you to eliminate them, Weekly. Their last known location was recorded at 19:17. You have a Polished Candle as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aiden Espinoza

Alias

"Golden Vampires"

Features

7' 10"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Right middle finger

Organization

The Order of Holy Country

Emotions

Ambivalent

Personality

Weekly Red

Motive

Make a lot of money to become famous

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Brief Dolphin"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Purple Island

Polluted Isle

Reservation Maze

Random Events

Husband Glistens gently

Rhapsody Calls menacingly

Vegetable drops from the sky

Renaissance Faire meets disaster

World

Stores

Skylar's Coat Convenience store

Moore's Paperweight International

Campbell's Bed Brothers

Osborne's File Industries

Traps

Fire

Falling Block of Peace

Objects

Coat children's replica

Bed that is glowing

Secret Paperweight

Hidden Handcuffs

Mace of Peace

Wand of Wonder

Target can readily be convinced that he doesn’t really exist

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Axel Moore "Big Bagels" Merchant Football Candy
Sarah Campbell "Slow Arms" Mole Children's Stories Drinking
Emerson Alvarez Professional Bridesmaid Lions Cousins
Skylar Klein Angry Essential Oils Cousins
Sofia Osborne Veteran Tissues Limes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).