The Director Welcomes You

The Rapid Pancake Examination

#f971b0

Location

Arid, Dull Israel

Time of Day

20:57

Extraction Point

155 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to within earshot of a Touristy Citadel to look for a suspect by the name "Junior Elephant". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to discover their location. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shadow passes at the Stone Circle".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Bible in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Finley Bishop

Alias

"Junior Elephant"

Features

6' 9"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Right middle finger

Organization

The Sisterhood of Boiled Tree

Emotions

Jealous

Personality

Elegantly Puny

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Scaley Beholder"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Rapid Island

Touristy Forest

Enjoyment Island

Random Events

Gunshot Attempts to rob a bank

Milk Shipment Adopts a nearby child

Pine Branch Is being kidnapped

Chanting Cult skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Camden's Vanity Atelier

Evans's Clamp Bazaar

Rowe's Glass Jars Couture

Perkins's Pocket watch Little shop

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Object Smeared with Poison of Demise

Objects

Vanity children's replica

Glass Jars made of heavy metal

Secret Clamp

Hidden Chewing Gum

Targe of Demise

Wand of Wonder

A second, identical skeleton appears in the target’s body

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mason Evans "All Tongues" Merchant Boxes Washing Machines
Jaxson Rowe "Gross Lemons" Mole Lions Sharp Things
Thomas Erickson Soul Houses Christmas
Camden Lewis Firefighter Lipstick Easter
Savannah Perkins Restless Jazz Toilets

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).