The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Glamorous Nut

#8f662e

Location

Dry, Breezy Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Time of Day

9:32

Extraction Point

14 Miles NE

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
It seems "Plump Minotaur" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Rainbow Mountain". We need you to eliminate them, Fairly. Their last known location was recorded at 04:13. You have a Polished Hammer as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Leo Cruz

Alias

"Plump Minotaur"

Features

5' 4"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Left arm

Organization

The Order of Rabid Map

Emotions

Self-conscious

Personality

Fairly Red

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Creepy Cyclops"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Glamorous Acropolis

Compact House

Dark Shelter

Random Events

Chanting Cult explodes

Hound Becomes wounded

Bard Becomes wounded

Renaissance Faire Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Jesse's Bottle Emporium

Salazar's Crock Chic Chåteau

Casey's Fireplace Du jour

Keller's Rug Atelier

Traps

Acid Fog

Moving Executioner Statue of Calamity

Objects

Bottle children's replica

Fireplace with a False bottom

Secret Crock

Hidden Trident

Nipple Clamp of Calamity

Wand of Wonder

Target’s voice sounds like the honking of geese

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Addison Salazar "Small Knuckles" Merchant Sticks Potatoes
Declan Casey "Blue Spleens" Mole Soda Painting
Isabelle Sutton Journalist Sun Glasses Whipped Cream
Jesse Hansen Operator Cousins Drinking
Alexander Keller Police Officer Technology Painting

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).