The Director Welcomes You

Unlimited Royale

#6dea32

Location

Dark, Wet Sao Tome and Principe

Time of Day

18:33

Extraction Point

130 Miles E

Time to Complete

1 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to fly above a Underwater Citadel to look for a suspect by the name "Yellow Kaiju". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Underwater cave".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Invisible Tape Measure in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Raelynn Jennings

Alias

"Yellow Kaiju"

Features

4' 8"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Office of Dire Noise

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Enormously Tropical

Motive

Make a lot of money to be left alone

Bodyguard

Donald the "Shy Elves"

Physical Size

Little

Story

Additional Locations

The Fresh Festival

Overpopulated Crypt

Competency Jungle

Random Events

Crazy Man Balances on a ledge

Woman drops from the sky

Beggar runs over an infant

Chauvinist screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Juliana's Cutting board Unlimited

Pena's Sculpture Properties

Pham's Wingback chair Consulting

Webster's Faberge Egg Closet

Traps

Swinging Block

Bricks from Ceiling of Rage

Objects

Cutting board with a False bottom

Wingback chair with a False bottom

Secret Sculpture

Hidden Goblet

Scimitar of Rage

Wand of Wonder

Next spell cast in this area has a permanent duration

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Messiah Pena "Cramped Heels" Merchant Jazz Christmas
Jayce Pham "Gross Fingers" Mole Limes Pillows
Blake Klein Townsfolk Jigsaw Puzzles Notes
Juliana Watkins Scientist Toilets Rubber Stamps
Nathaniel Webster Cleaner Hammers Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).