The Director Welcomes You

Cork, Story, Lubricant, Spy.

#d19fed

Location

Foggy, Sunny Botswana

Time of Day

11:47

Extraction Point

174 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Matthew Goodwin has gone missing and we believe "Drowsy Bull" is responsible. They were last seen in Botswana at 12:00. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Ghost Town". Take this Evil Newspaper - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Genesis Fletcher

Alias

"Drowsy Bull"

Features

5' 4"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Right hand

Organization

The Club of Substantial Lubricant

Emotions

Depressed

Personality

Offensively Purring

Motive

Take over a government to become the best

Bodyguard

Harrison the "Unsightly Yeti"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Dire Mansion

Underground Villa

Competency Forge

Random Events

Vagrant scurries by

Toilet Is getting confiscated

Horse Carriage explodes

Rustler Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Silas's Globe Department store

Kelly's Pocket watch Factory

Lambert's Bell Emporium

Goodwin's Chaise Discount

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Ray of Sickness of Influence

Objects

Globe that has been hollowed out

Bell children's replica

Secret Pocket watch

Hidden Bracer

Bow of Influence

Wand of Wonder

After each spell, caster is matte black for 1d4 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Elena Kelly "Sharp Arms" Merchant Soda Gym Memberships
Eric Lambert "Cheap Kidneys" Mole Sticky Notes Chili
Xander Perkins Physician Physics Children's Stories
Silas Barton Statistician Sun Glasses Sponges
Matthew Goodwin Frustrated Ice Cubes Christmas

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).