The Director Welcomes You

The Chuffed Spoon Mystery

#13ec48

Location

Dry, Foul India

Time of Day

16:32

Extraction Point

103 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Hose with a False bottom. Get to India at 05:15

Good Luck.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Christopher Valdez

Alias

"Little Horse"

Features

4' 2"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The company of Dead Heat

Emotions

Receptive

Personality

Busily Ripe

Motive

Take over a country for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Donald the "Depressed Pig"

Physical Size

Considerable

Story

Additional Locations

The Chuffed Castle

Compact Villa

Ice Tower

Random Events

Bank Is being kidnapped

Goblet Glistens gently

Donkey explodes

Mutant Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

London's Hose Industries

Walton's Faberge Egg Chic Chåteau

Cooper's Cabinet Couture

Baker's Letter Opener Brothers

Traps

Fire

Wall Blade of Bitterness

Objects

Hose with a False bottom

Cabinet children's replica

Secret Faberge Egg

Hidden Spear

Hatchet of Bitterness

Wand of Wonder

Target’s highest attribute score is re-rolled daily

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Charlotte Walton "King Noses" Merchant Tea Cookies
Stella Cooper "Meaty Kidneys" Mole Sharp Things Plushies
Jordan Hardy Exhilarated Notes Squirrels
London Moody Judge Candy Chocolate
Carter Baker Intoxicated Flashlights Sun Glasses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).