The Director Welcomes You

The Harsh Cash Examination

#a32aad

Location

Rainy, Hot Rwanda

Time of Day

22:34

Extraction Point

171 Miles NE

Time to Complete

26 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Lauren Gutierrez has gone missing and we believe "Indigo Elves" is responsible. They were last seen in Rwanda at 16:18. The agent sent one final message – "Distant sounds of screaming at the Frozen palace". Take this Polished Bicycle - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Piper Sullivan

Alias

"Indigo Elves"

Features

6' 6"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Office of Hungry Thumb

Emotions

Frustrated

Personality

Keenly Shrill

Motive

Take over a country for a love interest

Bodyguard

Simon the "Brief Pegasus"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Harsh Castle

Crowded Grove

Contentment Acropolis

Random Events

VAT of Broth drops from the sky

Box of Mice skins a cat with his teeth

Gunshot Is under a curse

Vegetable Ignites violently

World

Stores

Elijah's Music Box Industries

Peterson's Platter Chic Chåteau

Cruz's Oil Lamp Threads

Gutierrez's Ring Productions

Traps

Portcullis

Portcullis of Rage

Objects

Music Box with a False bottom

Oil Lamp that has been hollowed out

Secret Platter

Hidden Whip

Dagger of Rage

Wand of Wonder

Next polymorph magic used nearby yields a random result

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Anna Peterson "Stiff Ankles" Merchant Mirrors Lions
Ruby Cruz "Wild Cappuccinos" Mole Bells Horses
Joseph Floyd Lawyer Tea Doves
Elijah Hubbard Technician Sponges Quartz Crystals
Lauren Gutierrez Art Therapist Bread Bracelets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).