The Director Welcomes You

The Fried Chicken Demise Protocol

#85ee40

Location

Foul, Gloomy Slovenia

Time of Day

14:7

Extraction Point

21 Miles N

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to circle a Pitch Black Labratory to look for a suspect by the name "Drowsy Eel". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Flooded Crystal".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Bandana in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Levi Roberts

Alias

"Drowsy Eel"

Features

4' 8"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Brotherhood of Damaged Map

Emotions

Elated

Personality

Joyously Raspy

Motive

Take over a government to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Johnny the "Fluffy Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Salmon Carnival

Ancient Arcade

Fate Festival

Random Events

Cookie Salutes the adventurers

Hound Lunges at the group

Swarm of Bees Spontaneously disintegrates

Box of Mice Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Nathan's Footlocker Mall

Hansen's Basket Bureau

Ray's Fire poker set Emporium

Carlson's Kitchen knife Little shop

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Flooded Corridor of Demise

Objects

Footlocker with a False bottom

Fire poker set with a False bottom

Secret Basket

Hidden Lighter

Necklace of Demise

Wand of Wonder

An incredibly foul entity is summoned to the target point

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gracie Hansen "Casual Throats" Merchant Honey Hamsters
Miguel Ray "Dull Noses" Mole Tissues Sponges
Cecilia Hartman Indifferent Candy Toilets
Nathan Armstrong Phantom Houses Dinosaurs
Ryan Carlson Old Man Shirts Money

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).