The Director Welcomes You

The Dragon Influence Protocol

#208ce3

Location

Humid, Chilly Comoros

Time of Day

4:7

Extraction Point

31 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Little Elves" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "Clouds develop quickly at the Crossroads". We need you to eliminate them, Continually. Their last known location was recorded at 01:03. You have a Invisible Tissues as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Luna Park

Alias

"Little Elves"

Features

5' 9"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Left thumb

Organization

The Incorporated of Nefarious Music

Emotions

Depressed

Personality

Continually Revolting

Motive

Disrupt the military out of greed

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Jealous Sea Lion"

Physical Size

Little

Story

Additional Locations

The Quick Jungle

Archaic Carousal

Bitterness Fortress

Random Events

Leopard is loose

Prostitute Ignites violently

Pack of Wild Dogs is heard screaming

Amulet Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Jasmine's Pair of Statues Outlet

Peterson's Statue Convenience store

Acosta's Window Labs

Hill's Suit of armor Mall

Traps

Hail of Needles

Javelin of Influence

Objects

Pair of Statues that has been hollowed out

Window that has been hollowed out

Secret Statue

Hidden Bow

Crossbow of Influence

Wand of Wonder

Caster finds a treasure map in the next animal he butchers

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Eva Peterson "Golden Bones" Merchant Dolphins Octopus
Natalie Acosta "Red Spleens" Mole Candles Christmas
Mason Henderson Dead Tired Coffee Pillows
Jasmine Schroeder Consultant Lipstick Gym Memberships
Ryder Hill Human Statue Technology Coffee

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).