The Director Welcomes You

Who is Daniel Touch?

#9b1316

Location

Rainy, Windless Niger

Time of Day

6:20

Extraction Point

155 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside the outside of a Ancient Jungle . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Chunky Cockatrice" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A pool of blood at the Underwater cave". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Beautiful Blender hidden on you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Madeline Rodgers

Alias

"Chunky Cockatrice"

Features

4' 9"

Green eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The Order of Big Trade

Emotions

Adoration

Personality

Usefully Wrapped

Motive

Take over a country to save humanity

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Calm Centaur"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Chubby Maze

Rundown Arcade

Delirium Carnival

Random Events

Dozen Eggs drops from the sky

Diary Is frozen into a block of ice

Gallon of Trash catches on fire

Bum emerges

World

Stores

Jaxon's Sconce Hole

Davidson's Candelabra Cosmetics

Graham's Painting Discount

Chan's Counter Bazaar

Traps

Blade Barrier

Flooding Room of Fragility

Objects

Sconce that is glowing

Painting that has been hollowed out

Secret Candelabra

Hidden Pike

Greaves of Fragility

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s skin ripples like a rain-spattered pond from now on

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lorenzo Davidson "No Cheesecakes" Merchant Glass Rabbits
William Graham "Red Falafels" Mole Tissues Bracelets
Aliyah Reeves Blacksmith Sharks Sticks
Jaxon Mendoza Talent agent Easter Music
Andrew Chan Zestful Toilets Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).