The Director Welcomes You

Zipper, Toes, Yam, Spy.

#79c6cb

Location

Breezy, Windy Moldova

Time of Day

14:50

Extraction Point

110 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Scrutinizers,
I have sent you to circle a Polluted Forge to look for a suspect by the name "Sharp Bigfoot". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Snowy garrison".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Vicious Atlas in your kit to help.

β€” The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Chase Padilla

Alias

"Sharp Bigfoot"

Features

4' 7"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Left arm

Organization

The Guild of Holy Yam

Emotions

Suspicious

Personality

Quizzically Unimportant

Motive

Make a lot of money to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Jealous Alien"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Squirrelly Manor

Expensive Carousal

Expiration Creek

Random Events

Midwife approaches

Gypsy chase a suspect

Bag of Flour grabs a lady's purse

Whore Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Harrison's File Group

Terry's Butter Churner Technologies

May's Stairwell Collective

Graham's Trunk Industries

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Bricks from Ceiling of Influence

Objects

File that has been hollowed out

Stairwell children's replica

Secret Butter Churner

Hidden Rock

Pants of Influence

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters his home, he’s visited by three ghosts

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
William Terry "Stiff Thumbs" Merchant Tigers Football
Evan May "Sharp Eyes" Mole Clocks Notes
Oliver Acosta Elevator Mechanic Children's Stories Water
Harrison Vargas Consultant Water Paper
Rhett Graham Bruised Trucks Pillows

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).