The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Narrow Magician

#669a0e

Location

Cloudless, Balmy Zambia

Time of Day

24:50

Extraction Point

105 Miles S

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to enter a Hidden Lagoon to look for a suspect by the name "Plump Zombie". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Skull shaped island".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Explosive Binocular in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Justin Wang

Alias

"Plump Zombie"

Features

6' 1"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Crotch

Organization

The Board of Baked Mustard

Emotions

Stunned

Personality

Usefully Egregious

Motive

Make a lot of money for honor

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Dubious The Grim Reaper"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Narrow Fortress

Hidden Crypt

Exuberance Pond

Random Events

Deadbeat Ignites violently

Carcass Glistens gently

Herd of Chicken Evades the law

Prostitute arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Beau's Hat Collective

Harvey's Picture Frame Bazaar

Cunningham's Rug International

Marshall's Toolset Unlimited

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Flooded Corridor of Death

Objects

Hat children's replica

Rug made of heavy metal

Secret Picture Frame

Hidden Mace

Polearm of Death

Wand of Wonder

Next attack on caster kills him, but he resurrects at dawn

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aliyah Harvey "Mini Hands" Merchant Soup Soccer
Lucas Cunningham "Sharp Pastrami's" Mole Chalk Rock n' Roll
Weston Garrett Judge Squirrels Bells
Beau Klein Broker Trees Technology
Harrison Marshall Exhilarated Sticks Batteries

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).