The Director Welcomes You
Desire, World, Penis, Spy.
#ab4058
Examiners, We need your help. Agent Hudson Sutton has gone missing and we believe "One Turtle" is responsible. They were last seen in Belize at 21:11. The agent sent one final message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Snowy garrison". Take this Vicious Sun Lotion - it was their favorite tool and might help you.
— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.
Ashley Duncan
"One Turtle"
5' 11"
Brown eyes
Small mole / Left thumb
The Brotherhood of Helpful Penis
Delighted
Greedily Melodic
Make a lot of money to control the Children
Oscar the "Heavy Hyena"
Tall
The Large Spring
Expensive Manor
Well-being Lagoon
Meteor Catches leprosy
Reindeer Gets their hand chopped off
Pine Branch stop the party and asks questions
Whore Is frozen into a block of ice
Caleb's Sofa Outlet
Elliott's Stamp Set Closet
Fuller's Trophy Chic Chåteau
Sutton's File Specialities
Moving Executioner Statue
Ceiling Pendulum of Obsession
Sofa that has been hollowed out
Trophy with a False bottom
Secret Stamp Set
Hidden Watch
Mace of Obsession
Next weapon nearby to draw blood doubles in length until sunrise
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Karter Elliott | "Red Brains" | Merchant | Flashlights | Potatoes |
| Emily Fuller | "Stiff Pastrami's" | Mole | Snowglobes | Money |
| Delilah Barrett | Lawyer | Limes | Teeth | |
| Caleb Williams | Actor | Sharp Things | Photography | |
| Hudson Sutton | Midwife | Doors | Contracts |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).