The Director Welcomes You

The Horny Mist Venture

#0b9c02

Location

Dark, Miserable Grenada

Time of Day

14:3

Extraction Point

50 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Informants,
We need your help. Agent Matthew White has gone missing and we believe "Left Worm" is responsible. They were last seen in Grenada at 02:22. The agent sent one final message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Top of the carousel wheel". Take this Colorful Bicycle - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maria Meyer

Alias

"Left Worm"

Features

6' 11"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Neck

Organization

The Guild of Chuffed Corn

Emotions

Anticipating

Personality

Jovially Refined

Motive

Make a lot of money to be left alone

Bodyguard

David the "Bruised Banshee"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Horny Arcade

Archaic Grove

The Blackest Black Sanctuary

Random Events

Pickpocket Is throwing a BBQ

Gypsy approaches

Baker stop the party and asks questions

Butter Shipment strikes the ground

World

Stores

Fiona's Hanging Birdcage Wardrobe

Guerrero's Stamp Set Du jour

Saunders's Vanity International

White's Staircase Unlimited

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Collapsing Column of Silence

Objects

Hanging Birdcage children's replica

Vanity with a False bottom

Secret Stamp Set

Hidden Knife

Whip of Silence

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby is completely immune to non-magical poisons

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lillian Guerrero "Red Pastrami's" Merchant Rubber Stamps Scarves
Roman Saunders "Short Lungs" Mole Sharp Things Balloons
Bryson Hill Frustrated Chocolate Water
Fiona Mendoza Pharmacist Soup Bread
Matthew White Broker Photography Books

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).