The Director Welcomes You

The Troll Irritation Protocol

#d9ad27

Location

Humid, Calm Bosnia and Herzegovina

Time of Day

3:10

Extraction Point

58 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Agents,
We need your help. Agent Arabella Delgado has gone missing and we believe "Obese Demon" is responsible. They were last seen in Bosnia and Herzegovina at 20:13. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a random cow at the Underwater cave". Take this Sharp Hot Glue Gun - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elizabeth Graham

Alias

"Obese Demon"

Features

5' 7"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Right thumb

Organization

The Clique of Shapely Mine

Emotions

Isolated

Personality

Solidly Fancy

Motive

Take over a government to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Damp Koalas"

Physical Size

Colossal

Story

Additional Locations

The Constipated Forge

Overpopulated Lodge

Demise Spring

Random Events

Meteor Calls menacingly

Demon Is throwing a BBQ

Potato catches on fire

Rustler catches on fire

World

Stores

Henry's Bicycle Worldwide

Robertson's Glass Jars Brothers

Vasquez's Urn Collective

Delgado's Pair of Statues Unlimited

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Flooded Corridor of Irritation

Objects

Bicycle made of heavy metal

Urn that is glowing

Secret Glass Jars

Hidden Cat

Scimitar of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Anyone nearby who spills blood by moonlight is stricken blind

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aliyah Robertson "Cheap Pinky's" Merchant Sponges Music
Presley Vasquez "Bullet Elbows" Mole Pillows Bread
Rose Wagner Annoyed Soup Tigers
Henry Stevenson Cheerful Soap Chili
Arabella Delgado The Body Rubber Stamps Video Games

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).