The Director Welcomes You

The Ape Stealth Incident

#2f9ee2

Location

Chilly, Rainy Lebanon

Time of Day

16:31

Extraction Point

155 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Snoopers,
I have sent you to within earshot of a Underground Casino to look for a suspect by the name "Indigo Leech". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Unicorn Nest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Angry Watch in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Callie James

Alias

"Indigo Leech"

Features

6' 11"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Right foot

Organization

The Clique of Revolting Orgy

Emotions

Scared

Personality

Sweetly Swollen

Motive

Take over a government for honor

Bodyguard

Darnell the "Drab Merfolk"

Physical Size

Teeny

Story

Additional Locations

The Colossal Lake

Crowded Forest

Exuberance Reef

Random Events

Crying Child Is under a curse

Whore skins a cat with his teeth

Wanderer is robbed

Bunny Becomes wounded

World

Stores

Giovanni's Ring Outlet

Robbins's Sconce Arcade

Zimmerman's Marionette Industries

Tyler's Oil Lamp Discount

Traps

Poison Dart

Flooding Room of Stealth

Objects

Ring that has been hollowed out

Marionette children's replica

Secret Sconce

Hidden Coif

Coif of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s home has served as a crematorium while he’s been away

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jesse Robbins "Obese Matzo Balls" Merchant Doors Sponges
Vincent Zimmerman "Four Boy" Mole Jazz Snowglobes
Asher Hunter Angry Tissues Sharks
Giovanni Butler Zestful Sharp Things Chickens
Mariah Tyler Meteorologist Essential Oils Chili

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).