The Director Welcomes You

Sasquatch, Hospital, Cemetery, Spy.

#26d559

Location

Chilly, Windless Cyprus

Time of Day

12:57

Extraction Point

154 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

16 Hours

Informants,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Underground Crypt . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Yellow Anteaters" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Eye of Heaven". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Fluffy Sun Lotion hidden on you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kingston Evans

Alias

"Yellow Anteaters"

Features

5' 9"

Green eyes

Large moles / Right hand

Organization

The Guild of Rapid Cemetery

Emotions

Fondness

Personality

Jealously Irrelevant

Motive

Disrupt the military to lust for power

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Rainy gorgon"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Small Carnival

Underground Jungle

Fire Circus

Random Events

Corncob is loose

Keg Strikes the church bell

Potato grabs a lady's purse

Crying Child Glistens gently

World

Stores

Jesse's Vanity Bazaar

Contreras's Basket Logistics

Wright's Vase Beauty Stop

Holt's Pipe Solutions

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Javelin of Weakness

Objects

Vanity that is glowing

Vase that has been hollowed out

Secret Basket

Hidden Blowgun

Cat of Weakness

Wand of Wonder

Damage inflicted upon caster can only be healed near firelight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Eliza Contreras "Bullet Lemons" Merchant Tigers Books
Allison Wright "Italian Pretzels" Mole Trees Bells
Ivan Salinas Physician Batteries Bells
Jesse Pham Townsfolk Sailboats Limes
Brayden Holt Blacksmith Chickens Octopus

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).