The Director Welcomes You

The Power Dark Protocol

#249e08

Location

Cool, Icy Maldives

Time of Day

12:57

Extraction Point

189 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Meddlers,
I have sent you to underneathe a Hidden Volcano to look for a suspect by the name "Wild Nymph". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Field of Wildflowers".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Feminine Armchair in your kit to help.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Amelia Morales

Alias

"Wild Nymph"

Features

6' 10"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Right foot

Organization

The Authority of Holy Loss

Emotions

Rejected

Personality

Hourly Nice

Motive

Take over a government to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Charles the "Clever Cat"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Thankful Jungle

Hidden Forge

Imperfection Business

Random Events

Deadbeat Crashes slowly

Wedding Cake is loose

Potato Becomes wounded

Cat drops from the sky

World

Stores

Harmony's Ceramic Crock Productions

Morgan's Counter Factory

Williamson's Crock Cosmetics

McCarthy's Bell Atelier

Traps

Fire

Large Net of Dark

Objects

Ceramic Crock made of heavy metal

Crock with a False bottom

Secret Counter

Hidden Newspaper

Lipstick of Dark

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, that hand sprouts feathers

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adam Morgan "Silver Muscles" Merchant Limes Chili
Genesis Williamson "Two Heels" Mole Singing Singing
Elizabeth Oconnor Psychiatrist Scarves Fire
Harmony Zimmerman Elder Horses Dice
Gracie McCarthy Talent agent Acorns Rabbits

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).