The Director Welcomes You

Worldwide Royale

#9275e3

Location

Gorgeous, Humid Central African Republic

Time of Day

22:5

Extraction Point

153 Miles S

Time to Complete

19 Hours

Spy Deputies,
I have sent you to the inside of a Abandoned Shelter to look for a suspect by the name "Stiff Turtle". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to uncover their plans. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Serpents Nest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Fluffy Headphones in your kit to help.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Blake Floyd

Alias

"Stiff Turtle"

Features

5' 6"

Green eyes

Small mole / Right thumb

Organization

The Sorority of Young Sewer

Emotions

Compassionate

Personality

Painfully Wrong

Motive

Disrupt the military out of desperation

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Pugilistic Sloth"

Physical Size

Gigantic

Story

Additional Locations

The Endemic Business

Pitch Black Jungle

Expiration Shelter

Random Events

Bum Evades the law

Leopard explodes

Hoard meets disaster

Vagabond is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Gael's Mantle Worldwide

Mack's Bonsai Ventures

Alexander's Notebook Bazaar

Carpenter's Hose Solutions

Traps

Tripping Chain

Javelin of Expiration

Objects

Mantle with a False bottom

Notebook made of heavy metal

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Polearm

Coin of Expiration

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, it sprouts dozens of needles

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dylan Mack "Italian Hands" Merchant Teeth Houses
Wesley Alexander "Bullet Tongues" Mole Death Slippers
Eliana Powell Stressed Soap Gym Memberships
Gael Nelson Cobbler Paper Singing
Vivian Carpenter Stressed Hammers Painting

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).