The Director Welcomes You

Who is Philip Buffet?

#715b14

Location

Arid, Frigid Hungary

Time of Day

18:59

Extraction Point

174 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Meddlers,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Underwater Island . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Junior Rhinoceroses" is responsible and they sent us this message - "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Screaming Waterfall". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Feminine Battery hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Carson Cobb

Alias

"Junior Rhinoceroses"

Features

7' 11"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Bunch of Revolting Uranus

Emotions

Vengeful

Personality

Annually Cerulean

Motive

Make a lot of money out of greed

Bodyguard

Philip the "Crooked Armadillo"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Dire Chateau

Desolate Chateau

Amnesia Creek

Random Events

Reindeer Is accused by the law

Chauvinist Finds gold in the water

Box of Mice meets disaster

Vagabond arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Gavin's Globe Productions

Fitzgerald's Chair Technologies

Hartman's Fireplace Labs

Beck's Staircase Bazaar

Traps

Fireball

Incendiary Cloud of Prosperity

Objects

Globe made of heavy metal

Fireplace that has been hollowed out

Secret Chair

Hidden Fork

Lipstick of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, he’s allergic to it

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brandon Fitzgerald "Mad Spleens" Merchant Writers Essential Oils
Eliana Hartman "Violet Livers" Mole Octopus Writers
Trinity Christensen Cleaner Dolphins Paperclips
Gavin Reyes Cobbler Hammers Technology
Logan Beck Fortune Cookie Writer Octopus Cellphones

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).