The Director Welcomes You

Market Royale

#271330

Location

Dark, Balmy Mali

Time of Day

19:35

Extraction Point

43 Miles NE

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Black Ghost" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Tempest". We need you to eliminate them, Unbearably. Their last known location was recorded at 20:09. You have a Angry Atlas as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mary Yang

Alias

"Black Ghost"

Features

5' 4"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Left middle finger

Organization

The Committee of Gray Gun

Emotions

Alienated

Personality

Unbearably Flat

Motive

Take over a government to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Prince the "Mushy all-seeing eye"

Physical Size

Toy

Story

Additional Locations

The Ubiquitous Spring

Bustling Barn Dance

Good Spirits Reef

Random Events

Chicken arrives in the mail

Wanderer Ignites violently

Rhapsody Is being kidnapped

Horse Carriage Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Alex's Pipe Market

Vargas's Rubber Plant Discount

Delgado's File Cosmetics

Perry's Portrait Consulting

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Ice lock of Pleasure

Objects

Pipe made of heavy metal

File made of heavy metal

Secret Rubber Plant

Hidden Coif

Bow of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

When target next spills blood, he thinks he’ll die by nightfall

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Michael Vargas "Three Elbows" Merchant Batteries Chalk
Silas Delgado "White Lungs" Mole Physics Slippers
Chloe Thomas Engineer Boxes Hamsters
Alex Sanders Athlete Paper Bracelets
Bella Perry Ghost Toilets Honey

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).