The Director Welcomes You

The Oven Pleasure Protocol

#656db6

Location

Hot, Breezy Dominica

Time of Day

4:45

Extraction Point

140 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Informants,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Workbench that has been hollowed out. Get to Dominica at 16:17

Good Luck.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Christian Frank

Alias

"Indigo Sloth"

Features

7' 4"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Right leg

Organization

The Office of Whining Cherries

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Greedily Billions

Motive

Take over a government to control the Children

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Frilled Bull"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Tart Grove

Underground Manor

Freshness Shelter

Random Events

Rustler Is throwing a BBQ

Box of Mice strikes the ground

Dracula emerges

Alligator Protests

World

Stores

Vincent's Workbench Supermarket

Quinn's Toolset Unlimited

Montgomery's Musical instrument Worldwide

Long's Painting Little shop

Traps

Floor Net

Suspicious door with lock of Pleasure

Objects

Workbench that has been hollowed out

Musical instrument with a False bottom

Secret Toolset

Hidden Mace

Falchion of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

For 1d6 months, all flame in the world is blue

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ethan Quinn "Golden Kidneys" Merchant Essential Oils Bread
Grant Montgomery "Casual Cappuccinos" Mole Water Rubber Stamps
Max Adams Hotel Manager Trees Basketball
Vincent Park Scientist Rocks Tea
Laila Long Plumber Ice Cubes Soda

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).