The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Alive Curry

#be3500

Location

Foggy, Humid Equatorial Guinea

Time of Day

13:46

Extraction Point

119 Miles S

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Graham Roberts has gone missing and we believe "Quiet gorgon" is responsible. They were last seen in Equatorial Guinea at 10:06. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Music Store". Take this Polished Tape Measure - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hailey Bauer

Alias

"Quiet gorgon"

Features

6' 6"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Right middle finger

Organization

The Community of Unkempt Zebra

Emotions

Indifferent

Personality

Offensively Tangy

Motive

Take over a government to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Larry the "Delicious Unicorn"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Alive Creek

Abandoned Carnival

Death Barn Dance

Random Events

Cat Is hurled at the adventurers

Softball Glistens gently

Meteor Evades the law

Dracula grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Daniel's Cutting board Chic Chåteau

Rodriguez's Ceramic Crock Chic Chåteau

Rodgers's Bell Atelier

Roberts's Brass Replica Du jour

Traps

Hail of Needles

Acid Arrow of Calamity

Objects

Cutting board made of heavy metal

Bell that has been hollowed out

Secret Ceramic Crock

Hidden Bow

Brass Knuckles of Calamity

Wand of Wonder

All nearby with more than 10 gold pieces lose as many hit points

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Carlos Rodriguez "Sharp Lungs" Merchant Paper Rubber Bands
Bentley Rodgers "Small Spleens" Mole Tigers Chili
Sara Ruiz Cheerful Basketball Ice Cubes
Daniel Stewart Veteran Doves Flowers
Graham Roberts Athlete Contracts Lamps

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).