The Director Welcomes You

Solutions Royale

#907283

Location

Breezy, Dull Slovakia

Time of Day

5:57

Extraction Point

159 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

1 Hours

Investigators,
I have sent you to circle a Expensive Forge to look for a suspect by the name "Mini Manticore". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A thick fog rolls in at the Garden of Bears".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Cake in your kit to help.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eliza Hill

Alias

"Mini Manticore"

Features

4' 10"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Right thumb

Organization

The Agency of Childish Cabbage

Emotions

Optimistic

Personality

Suddenly Pervasive

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Mossy Leprechaun"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Prickly Lodge

Touristy Acropolis

Disaster Lagoon

Random Events

Diary gathers near a point of interest

Storm Glistens gently

Woman Bounces oddly

Box of Mice arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Taylor's Hose Solutions

Morris's Crate Discount

Cooper's Trunk Hole

Simmons's Marionette Cosmetics

Traps

Flame Strike

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Power

Objects

Hose that has been hollowed out

Trunk children's replica

Secret Crate

Hidden Spikes

Polearm of Power

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby thinks that he smells like a corpse

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Tristan Morris "Italian Hearts" Merchant Fire Glitter
Miguel Cooper "Left Cheesecakes" Mole Singing Photography
Patrick Johnson Physician Water Water
Taylor Chang Plumber Sticky Notes Trees
Elise Simmons Architect Paper Money

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).