The Director Welcomes You

The Evenly Cocky Agent

#be5bb3

Location

Arid, Frigid Germany

Time of Day

19:44

Extraction Point

199 Miles S

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
I have sent you to fly above a Pitch Black Volcano to look for a suspect by the name "Stiff Cat". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A roll of thunder at the Ghost Town".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Tape Measure in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Isla Richardson

Alias

"Stiff Cat"

Features

4' 11"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Right middle finger

Organization

The Firm of Bankrupt Tongue

Emotions

Self-conscious

Personality

Evenly Rapid

Motive

Take over a government to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

James the "Wooden Fairy"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Cocky Park

Deserted Lake

Extermination Acropolis

Random Events

Chanting Cult runs over an infant

Amulet Glistens gently

Safe Is frozen into a block of ice

Bag of Flour grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Levi's Trophy Properties

Ruiz's Mantle Hole

Pearson's Drawers Unlimited

Gallagher's Coat of Arms Beauty Stop

Traps

Swinging Block

Crushing Room of Fragility

Objects

Trophy that has been hollowed out

Drawers that is glowing

Secret Mantle

Hidden Lipstick

Banana of Fragility

Wand of Wonder

Target’s waterskin is filled with mercury

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Molly Ruiz "Big Arms" Merchant Sharks Rocks
Lincoln Pearson "Italian Cheesecakes" Mole Candles Acorns
Victoria Rios Mechanic Video Games Soda
Levi Paul Artist Robots Chalk
Antonio Gallagher Firefighter Potatoes Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).