The Director Welcomes You

Tail, Spike, Giraffe, Spy.

#7b0d6e

Location

Gloomy, Foul Seychelles

Time of Day

7:16

Extraction Point

99 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Informants,
It seems "Fast Goblins" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "A roll of thunder at the Seven Dead". We need you to eliminate them, Weakly. Their last known location was recorded at 04:22. You have a Dull Abascus as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Noah Harmon

Alias

"Fast Goblins"

Features

5' 10"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Right foot

Organization

The Brotherhood of Wet Giraffe

Emotions

Spiteful

Personality

Weakly Victorian

Motive

Take over a government to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Sticky Werewolf"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Large City

Bustling House

Pleasure Port

Random Events

Swarm of Bees Crashes slowly

Horse Carriage Catches leprosy

Vagabond Integrates silently into the group

Toilet Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Victoria's Fire poker set Market

Turner's Fruit Bowl Ventures

Matthews's Urn Creative

Reese's Crock Technologies

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Extended Bane of Calming

Objects

Fire poker set that is glowing

Urn with a False bottom

Secret Fruit Bowl

Hidden Arrows

Hatchet of Calming

Wand of Wonder

When target next sleeps, a small tree sprouts from his chest

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Natalie Turner "Bullet Toes" Merchant Cookies Limes
Hunter Matthews "Blue Hearts" Mole Cooking Children's Stories
Theodore Steele Master Distiller Essential Oils Peanut Butter
Victoria Griffith Elevator Mechanic Chalk Scarves
Asher Reese Teacher Boxes Shirts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).