The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Cocky Pump

#270b67

Location

Icy, Dark Nicaragua

Time of Day

10:24

Extraction Point

177 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

17 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Sawyer Wright has gone missing and we believe "Quiet Yeti" is responsible. They were last seen in Nicaragua at 03:21. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the hive". Take this Mechanical Atlas - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Charlie Powers

Alias

"Quiet Yeti"

Features

4' 8"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The Clique of Surrogate Bong

Emotions

Helpless

Personality

Unbearably Oafish

Motive

Take over a country to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Roberto the "Sore Seal"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Cocky Citadel

Expensive Lake

Well-being Jungle

Random Events

Pickpocket runs over an infant

Corncob is robbed

Robber emerges

Princess Evades the law

World

Stores

Andrea's Kitchen knife Atelier

Wong's Sink Brothers

Porter's Butter Churner Discount

Wright's Lounge Chair Unlimited

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Ray of Sickness of Darkness

Objects

Kitchen knife that is glowing

Butter Churner that has been hollowed out

Secret Sink

Hidden Javelins

Blowgun of Darkness

Wand of Wonder

Target’s skin will melt if he gets too close to a campfire

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aliyah Wong "Quiet Toes" Merchant Oranges Houses
Valeria Porter "Heavy Pretzels" Mole Quartz Crystals Physics
Timothy McCormick Chief Executive Officer Attention Candles
Andrea Howell Cranky Rubber Stamps Slippers
Sawyer Wright Operator Honey Hamsters

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).