The Director Welcomes You

Who is Oscar Wizard?

#e74dea

Location

Bright, Miserable Pakistan

Time of Day

6:24

Extraction Point

174 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Abandoned Masquerade . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Mini Anteaters" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Hollow oak tree". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Beautiful Bandana hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

James Crawford

Alias

"Mini Anteaters"

Features

5' 2"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Fraternity of Delightful Advertisement

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Inwardly Helpful

Motive

Take over a government to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Old Rhinoceroses"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Tight Port

Ancient Lodge

Fragility Masquerade

Random Events

Leopard explodes

Delivery Guy scurries by

Majestic Painting Bounces oddly

Druid Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Addison's Telescope International

George's Hanging Birdcage Factory

Lambert's Spare brick Supermarket

Goodwin's Oil Lamp Specialities

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Rune of Paralyzation of Catastrophe

Objects

Telescope that is glowing

Spare brick that has been hollowed out

Secret Hanging Birdcage

Hidden Crossbow

Gauntlet of Catastrophe

Wand of Wonder

Target’s age varies by 1d10 years each time he’s wounded

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adaline George "Orange Cheesecakes" Merchant Television Lipstick
Melody Lambert "Nice Lox" Mole Books Basketball
Andrew Hoffman Cosmetologist Limes Limes
Addison Gordon Acupuncturist Water Chickens
Oscar Goodwin Pharmacist Horses Soap

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).