The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jessica Noise?

#96a65a

Location

Cloudy, Foul Guyana

Time of Day

17:21

Extraction Point

91 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Detectives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Bible that has been hollowed out. Get to Guyana at 05:13

Good Luck.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Xander Bowen

Alias

"Casual all-seeing eye"

Features

6' 9"

Green eyes

Large moles / Right arm

Organization

The Crew of Shapely Gun

Emotions

Vengeful

Personality

Annually Ripe

Motive

Disrupt the military out of greed

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Ancient Mummy"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Invisible Carousal

Underwater Lagoon

Fate Jungle

Random Events

Cookie emerges

Bag of Lemons arrives in the mail

Majestic Painting is loose

German Trench Club Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Athena's Bible Beauty Stop

Barnes's Toolbox Closet

Craig's Crate International

Douglas's Rubber Plant Bazaar

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Extended Bane of Sanitation

Objects

Bible that has been hollowed out

Crate that is glowing

Secret Toolbox

Hidden Coin

Axe of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

Horrific, deafening laughter echoes through the area for one week

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Taylor Barnes "Slow Cheesecakes" Merchant Sun Glasses Sticky Notes
Stella Craig "Fat Elbows" Mole Rubber Bands Attention
Brooke Wilson Animator Whipped Cream Limes
Athena Todd Waiter Writers Bells
Delilah Douglas Frazzled Soap Chalk

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).