The Director Welcomes You
The Teeth Enjoyment Protocol
#92e6ca
Scrutinizers, I have sent you to within a Overpopulated Chateau to look for a suspect by the name "Green Humanoid". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A white horse dashes past at the Field of Wildflowers".
We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Delicate Watch in your kit to help.
— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.
Preston Mann
"Green Humanoid"
7' 3"
Green eyes
A second belly button / Right foot
The Unit of Dank Dartboard
Anxious
Questionably Scarce
Take over a country in pursuit of knowledge
Nancy the "Weak Spirit"
Full
The Echoing Tower
Abandoned Mansion
Casualties Lake
Baker Becomes wounded
Chicken Balances on a ledge
Hoard Crashes slowly
Gallon of Trash runs over an infant
Elias's Bell Industries
Hines's Cabinet Little shop
Morrison's Flower in Vase Threads
Daniels's Portrait Threads
Incendiary Cloud
Fire of Enjoyment
Bell that has been hollowed out
Flower in Vase made of heavy metal
Secret Cabinet
Hidden Coin
Fork of Enjoyment
All within 50 yards have a mark identifying them as pariahs
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Luke Hines | "White Ankles" | Merchant | Money | Balloons |
| Evelyn Morrison | "King Thumbs" | Mole | Squirrels | Jigsaw Puzzles |
| Allison Obrien | Journalist | Clocks | Television | |
| Elias Newton | Electrician | Lipstick | Horses | |
| Sofia Daniels | Broker | Batteries | Pillows |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).