The Director Welcomes You

The Scotch Euphoria Incident

#8807eb

Location

Humid, Windless Spain

Time of Day

18:54

Extraction Point

114 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

26 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Piper Vasquez has gone missing and we believe "Sharp Sprite" is responsible. They were last seen in Spain at 15:04. The agent sent one final message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Beast's Maze". Take this Evil Cake - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Fiona Larson

Alias

"Sharp Sprite"

Features

5' 10"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The Union of Unimportant Greenhouse

Emotions

Bored

Personality

Helpfully Blue

Motive

Take over a government for revenge

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Bad Spirit"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Scrawny Business

Abandoned House

Rage Park

Random Events

Cookie Ignites violently

Gang Catches leprosy

Majestic Painting Crashes slowly

Amulet Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Karter's Globe Worldwide

Olson's Wardrobe Chic Chåteau

Webster's Footlocker Worldwide

Vasquez's Toolbox Little shop

Traps

Razor-Wire across Hallway

Compacting Room of Euphoria

Objects

Globe children's replica

Footlocker children's replica

Secret Wardrobe

Hidden Knife

Targe of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Caster finds a treasure map that others will kill to possess

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Samuel Olson "Yellow Parmigianas" Merchant Easter Painting
Ariana Webster "Black Stomachs" Mole Peanut Butter Rubber Bands
Lillian Snyder Shadow Bracelets Trees
Karter Lopez Human Statue Syrup Attention
Piper Vasquez Acupuncturist Basketball Mirrors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).