The Director Welcomes You

The Ashy Jail Event

#6bc7bd

Location

Rainy, Gorgeous Morocco

Time of Day

17:14

Extraction Point

17 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Agents,
As you can see you are trapped inside approach a Expensive Island . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Dull Turtle" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An out of place door appears at the Big Momma". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clandestine Hot Glue Gun hidden on you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Christopher Robertson

Alias

"Dull Turtle"

Features

4' 1"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Firm of Sinful Thumb

Emotions

Relaxed

Personality

Thoughtfully Limpid

Motive

Disrupt the military justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Charles the "Mastadonic giant"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Ashy Forge

Deserted City

Sanitation Isle

Random Events

Robber Bounces oddly

Nomad emerges

Vagrant is robbed

Meteor scurries by

World

Stores

Kingston's Potted Plant Collective

Valdez's Brass Replica Technologies

Jones's Workbench Discount

Bailey's Spice shelf Chic Chåteau

Traps

Beehive

Wall Blade of Obsession

Objects

Potted Plant made of heavy metal

Workbench that is glowing

Secret Brass Replica

Hidden Camera

Spikes of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Target is pelted like a mink, otter, or beaver

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Carson Valdez "Casual Ribs" Merchant Washing Machines Glass
Roman Jones "Cramped Tongues" Mole Pillows Dinosaurs
Valentina Cortez Technician Oranges Butterflies
Kingston Marquez Old Man Octopus Slippers
Connor Bailey Tailor Lamps Limes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).