The Director Welcomes You

Axe, Strawberry, Nut, Spy.

#a1a6cf

Location

Gorgeous, Humid Serbia

Time of Day

11:35

Extraction Point

171 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Compact Chateau . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "White Normal Guy" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A thick fog rolls in at the Dragon's Sea". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Mechanical Hammock hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Daniel Jordan

Alias

"White Normal Guy"

Features

7' 9"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Crotch

Organization

The Bureau of Rancid Nut

Emotions

Dismayed

Personality

Angrily Pervasive

Motive

Take over a government fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Green Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Heavy Port

Compact Carnival

Bliss Maze

Random Events

Store Salutes the adventurers

Feminist overflows

Cookie drops from the sky

Prostitute Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Zayden's Ring Market

Tran's Easel Ventures

Thomas's Lounge Chair Productions

Cobb's Hanging Birdcage Factory

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Bricks from Ceiling of Vulnerability

Objects

Ring children's replica

Lounge Chair made of heavy metal

Secret Easel

Hidden Crossbow

Polearm of Vulnerability

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, that finger turns invisible

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Molly Tran "Heavy Hearts" Merchant Butterflies Paperclips
Antonio Thomas "Heavy Matzo Balls" Mole Pillows Jigsaw Puzzles
Faith Oconnor Hotel Manager Chickens Oranges
Zayden Vaughn Consultant Toilets Glitter
Isaac Cobb Funeral Director Chickens Rubber Stamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).