The Director Welcomes You

Wardrobe Royale

#672c11

Location

Frigid, Gorgeous Belarus

Time of Day

9:25

Extraction Point

111 Miles W

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Meddlers,
We need your help. Agent Khloe Farmer has gone missing and we believe "Right Anteaters" is responsible. They were last seen in Belarus at 15:11. The agent sent one final message – "Distant sounds of screaming at the Field of Wildflowers". Take this Invisible Level - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gianna Hammond

Alias

"Right Anteaters"

Features

7' 2"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Task Force of Salty Frame

Emotions

Interested

Personality

Intently Whispering

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

David the "Shy Armadillo"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Swift Castle

Archaic Reef

Silence Creek

Random Events

Skeleton Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Odor is being loudly arrested

Feminist gathers near a point of interest

Nearby Gas Tank scurries by

World

Stores

Jayden's Globe Wardrobe

Sparks's Suit of armor Arcade

Estrada's End Table Worldwide

Farmer's Candelabra Specialities

Traps

Large Net

Earthquake of Doom

Objects

Globe that has been hollowed out

End Table made of heavy metal

Secret Suit of armor

Hidden Staff

Blindfold of Doom

Wand of Wonder

Nearest horse is ravenously hungry for the caster’s flesh

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Raelynn Sparks "Yellow Scars" Merchant Coffee Chocolate
Madeline Estrada "Violet Waffles" Mole Harmonica Coffee
Camila Bowen Professional Cuddler Ice Cubes Sharp Things
Jayden Chapman Cleaner Boxes Dinosaurs
Khloe Farmer Police Officer Essential Oils Robots

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).