The Director Welcomes You

Who is Mitch Toilet?

#d6daa5

Location

Hot, Calm Czech Republic

Time of Day

15:54

Extraction Point

84 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside the inside of a Pitch Black Park . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Meaty Rabbit" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An out of place door appears at the Ghost Town". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Colorful Cigarette hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lincoln Cox

Alias

"Meaty Rabbit"

Features

7' 1"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Division of Easy Mine

Emotions

Pleased

Personality

Urgently Pugilistic

Motive

Take over a country because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Strung Out ghost"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Constipated Citadel

Pitch Black Fortress

Cheer Chateau

Random Events

Feminist Protests

Donkey Adopts a nearby child

Princess is robbed

Dead Animal Ignites violently

World

Stores

Juliana's Vanity Arcade

Harmon's Pair of Statues International

Kelly's Candelabra Properties

Warren's Pipe Du jour

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Rune of Paralyzation of Good Spirits

Objects

Vanity made of heavy metal

Candelabra that is glowing

Secret Pair of Statues

Hidden Rapier

Ring of Good Spirits

Wand of Wonder

A huge city is just barely visible on the surface of the moon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gabriella Harmon "Four Forearms" Merchant Robots Lipstick
Peyton Kelly "Mini Boy" Mole Octopus Cookies
Maria Holland Headhunter Cartography Broccoli
Juliana Dean Meteorologist Basketball Cellphones
Isabella Warren Vision Mirrors Bears

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).