The Director Welcomes You

The Horse Influence Protocol

#d6ebd6

Location

Cloudless, Gorgeous The Bahamas

Time of Day

14:51

Extraction Point

183 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

17 Hours

Snoopers,
As you can see you are trapped inside descend into Archaic Citadel . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "One Dolphin" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An out of place door appears at the Field of Wildflowers". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Beautiful Spoon hidden on you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hudson Moreno

Alias

"One Dolphin"

Features

7' 2"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Left thumb

Organization

The Crew of Old Power

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Cheerfully Aggressive

Motive

Disrupt the military to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Tiring Dwarf"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Purring Sanctuary

Overpopulated Carnival

Sanitation Palace

Random Events

Mutant screams at the top of their lungs

Crazy Man Crashes slowly

Milk Shipment arrives in the mail

Potato runs over an infant

World

Stores

Isaiah's crutch Group

Gross's Window Beauty Stop

McGee's Coat Labs

Manning's Sculpture Arcade

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Incendiary Cloud of Influence

Objects

crutch with a False bottom

Coat that has been hollowed out

Secret Window

Hidden Hammers

Arrows of Influence

Wand of Wonder

Eerie moans fill the air when caster touches holy water

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Riley Gross "Cramped Noses" Merchant Glitter Music
Hayden McGee "Golden Hands" Mole Candy Coffee
Lucy Pope Blacksmith Whipped Cream Robots
Isaiah Garza Chief Executive Officer Socks Dinosaurs
James Manning Plumber Whipped Cream Drinking

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).