The Director Welcomes You

The Church Joy Incident

#8d0a8b

Location

Cool, Overcast Montenegro

Time of Day

18:24

Extraction Point

1 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

5 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to approach a Abandoned Palace to look for a suspect by the name "Five Cyclops". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Fallen King".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Delicate Towel in your kit to help.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jasmine Gonzalez

Alias

"Five Cyclops"

Features

5' 9"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left leg

Organization

The Guild of Cooling Theory

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Valiantly Calm

Motive

Make a lot of money to become rich

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Victorious Yeti"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Juicy Jungle

Expensive Castle

Competency Pond

Random Events

Turtle overflows

Herd of Chicken Is accused by the law

German Trench Club catches on fire

Toilet Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Kayden's Counter Unlimited

Jackson's Metal chair Discount

Vargas's Mounted Animal Bureau

Vazquez's Coat of Arms Labs

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Bricks from Ceiling of Joy

Objects

Counter that has been hollowed out

Mounted Animal made of heavy metal

Secret Metal chair

Hidden Cutlass

Pike of Joy

Wand of Wonder

Target can understand every language spoken within 10 miles

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Graham Jackson "Violet Fingers" Merchant Sticky Notes Cellphones
Brooklyn Vargas "Five Hot Dogs" Mole Rock n' Roll Flowers
Nevaeh Nunez Judge Slippers Plushies
Kayden Saunders Accountant Sticks Television
Sara Vazquez Chef Cookies Paperclips

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).