The Director Welcomes You

Zipper, Variety, Beast, Spy.

#bc5131

Location

Frigid, Icy Nauru

Time of Day

2:15

Extraction Point

20 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to fly above a Underwater Grove to look for a suspect by the name "Chunky Koalas". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the giants footsteps".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Vicious Calculator in your kit to help.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Cameron Payne

Alias

"Chunky Koalas"

Features

5' 7"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Unit of Clever Beast

Emotions

Envious

Personality

Overconfidently Nice

Motive

Take over a government to lust for power

Bodyguard

George the "Mandatory Beholder"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Prehistoric Circus

Crowded Grove

Vulnerability Masquerade

Random Events

Cauldron Is frozen into a block of ice

Tramp Strikes the church bell

Carcass runs over an infant

Feminist Glistens gently

World

Stores

Brantley's Key Hole

Soto's Shoe Horn Couture

Medina's Figurine Warehouse

Hayes's Notebook Couture

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Scything Blade of The Blackest Black

Objects

Key made of heavy metal

Figurine children's replica

Secret Shoe Horn

Hidden Greaves

Bracelet of The Blackest Black

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he knows the location of a vast horde of gold

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hannah Soto "Right Matzo Balls" Merchant Trucks Eggs
Ashton Medina "Short Brains" Mole Hammers Jigsaw Puzzles
Ashton Reese Musician Slippers Butterflies
Brantley Hughes Dietitian Acorns Soda
Jordan Hayes Statistician Attention Toilets

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).