The Director Welcomes You

The Wrapped Tongue Agent

#f03bf1

Location

Rainy, Balmy Czech Republic

Time of Day

3:17

Extraction Point

177 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Scrutinizers,
It seems "Chunky Wraith" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "A shadow passes at the Music Store". We need you to eliminate them, Stealthily. Their last known location was recorded at 04:20. You have a Colorful Lipstick as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Callie Lawson

Alias

"Chunky Wraith"

Features

6' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Department of Horny Reindeer

Emotions

Shocked

Personality

Stealthily Lively

Motive

Take over a country out of greed

Bodyguard

Sam the "Smelly Sloth"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Wrapped Carnival

Underwater Forest

Power Island

Random Events

Lactose Intolerance Lunges at the group

Biscuit Is under a curse

Storm stop the party and asks questions

Wedding Cake is robbed

World

Stores

Zion's Wardrobe Bureau

Santiago's Key Properties

Curtis's Shirt Warehouse

Barnett's Iron stove Wardrobe

Traps

Crushing Room

Object Smeared with Poison of Animosity

Objects

Wardrobe made of heavy metal

Shirt that is glowing

Secret Key

Hidden Chastity Belt

Hammers of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

If reduced to exactly zero hit points, target shrinks by 75%

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isabella Santiago "Dull Legs" Merchant Music Christmas
Charlotte Curtis "Two Cheesecakes" Mole Balloons Physics
Payton Hunter Blacksmith Octopus Music
Zion Lyons Butcher Chalk Cookies
Nova Barnett Dentist Cartography Soccer

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).