The Director Welcomes You

Who is Charles Parking Lot?

#195c3f

Location

Miserable, Miserable United Kingdom

Time of Day

16:17

Extraction Point

177 Miles S

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Wild Succubus" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "A thick fog rolls in at the Great Shadow". We need you to eliminate them, Highly. Their last known location was recorded at 23:00. You have a Beautiful Baking Tray as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Braxton Leon

Alias

"Wild Succubus"

Features

4' 2"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Commission of Scaley Dirigible

Emotions

Overwhelmed

Personality

Highly Frilled

Motive

Take over a country to become famous

Bodyguard

Charles the "Mammoth Normal Guy"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Mammoth Pond

Overpopulated Masquerade

Purity Jungle

Random Events

Wanderer screams at the top of their lungs

Vegetable Is being kidnapped

Spice Box is being loudly arrested

Lactose Intolerance Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Brantley's Wingback chair Chic Chåteau

Marsh's Drawers Closet

Nichols's Bed Mall

Santos's Stool Closet

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Beehive of Delirium

Objects

Wingback chair made of heavy metal

Bed made of heavy metal

Secret Drawers

Hidden Morning Star

Goblet of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters his home, it’s swept away by a tidal wave

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cooper Marsh "Indigo Waffles" Merchant Snowglobes Glitter
Ximena Nichols "Slow Hands" Mole Comic Books Broccoli
Maddox Maldonado Technician Jigsaw Puzzles Singing
Brantley Scott Townsfolk Fire Contracts
Sophia Santos Actor Gym Memberships Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).