The Director Welcomes You

Who is Philip Lubricant?

#abe418

Location

Warm, Frigid Nauru

Time of Day

17:10

Extraction Point

83 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

34 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Jeremiah Cruz has gone missing and we believe "Red Hydra" is responsible. They were last seen in Nauru at 20:03. The agent sent one final message – "Distant sounds of screaming at the Serpents Nest". Take this Rusty Banana - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brianna Medina

Alias

"Red Hydra"

Features

6' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Left arm

Organization

The Order of Thundering Rum

Emotions

Annoyed

Personality

Sleepily Happy

Motive

Disrupt the military to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Philip the "Surrogate Turtle"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Blue Suburbs

Overpopulated Citadel

Downfall Pond

Random Events

Rustler Glistens gently

Fairy is heard screaming

Musical Finds gold in the water

Ninja catches on fire

World

Stores

Sophie's Cabinet Labs

Saunders's Faberge Egg Arcade

Sherman's Window Solutions

Cruz's Musical instrument Atelier

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Ceiling Pendulum of Doom

Objects

Cabinet with a False bottom

Window that is glowing

Secret Faberge Egg

Hidden Whip

Whip of Doom

Wand of Wonder

Target crows like a rooster whenever he sees a magic item used

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mateo Saunders "Heavy Elbows" Merchant Clocks Tissues
Melanie Sherman "Fat Brains" Mole Chili Lamps
Layla Lane Technician Chickens Trees
Sophie Love Frustrated Ice Cubes Music
Jeremiah Cruz Physician Candles Tigers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).