The Director Welcomes You

Curvy, Piercing, Tramp, Spy.

#924f50

Location

Rainy, Breezy Spain

Time of Day

22:26

Extraction Point

84 Miles SE

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Mateo Norman has gone missing and we believe "No Vampires" is responsible. They were last seen in Spain at 10:00. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the dry riverbed". Take this Colorful Banana - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alexa Campbell

Alias

"No Vampires"

Features

7' 10"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left leg

Organization

The Division of Substantial Tramp

Emotions

Pity

Personality

Merrily Mossy

Motive

Make a lot of money out of desperation

Bodyguard

Terry the "Magnificent Golem"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Helpless Citadel

Rundown Suburbs

Joy Maze

Random Events

Box of Mice arrives in the mail

Woman stop the party and asks questions

Box of Cigarette Is getting confiscated

Donkey Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Bailey's Mural Collective

Aguilar's Chair Industries

Oliver's Spice shelf Supermarket

Norman's Picture Frame Emporium

Traps

Large Net

Dropping Ceiling of Prosperity

Objects

Mural that has been hollowed out

Spice shelf that has been hollowed out

Secret Chair

Hidden Frying Pan

Helmet of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

Caster suddenly has misgivings about his skill as a magic user

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Daniela Aguilar "King Feet" Merchant Doves Cousins
Valeria Oliver "Green Brains" Mole Snowglobes Chickens
Tucker Obrien Musician Essential Oils Television
Bailey Frazier Sad Socks Sticky Notes
Mateo Norman Fortune Cookie Writer Soap Candy

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).