The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Worn Worm

#9c8e8e

Location

Dark, Icy Papua New Guinea

Time of Day

7:14

Extraction Point

53 Miles E

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Informants,
It seems "White Hyena" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "An out of place door appears at the Frozen palace". We need you to eliminate them, Bitterly. Their last known location was recorded at 20:00. You have a Rusty Lipstick as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sophie Rowe

Alias

"White Hyena"

Features

7' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Clique of Narrow Pancake

Emotions

Compassionate

Personality

Bitterly Slimy

Motive

Disrupt the military for honor

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Fugly Griffin"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Worn Carousal

Bustling Palace

Fate Carnival

Random Events

Bear is robbed

Vagabond skins a cat with his teeth

Donkey Is frozen into a block of ice

Bottle of Soy Sauce Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Samantha's Globe Factory

Parks's Pipe Labs

Chang's Wardrobe Ventures

Greene's Fireplace Atelier

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Ice lock of Euphoria

Objects

Globe children's replica

Wardrobe children's replica

Secret Pipe

Hidden Fork

Sword of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Once per week, caster can levitate for 1d4 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Oscar Parks "Red Ankles" Merchant Stickers Slippers
Alice Chang "Five Churros" Mole Dice Paper
Alexandra Gomez Paramedic Writers Television
Samantha Douglas Dietitian Limes Books
Jeremiah Greene Phantom Hammers Horses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).