The Director Welcomes You

The Damp Expert Problem

#968891

Location

Bright, Chilly Barbados

Time of Day

13:41

Extraction Point

29 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Lounge Chair with a False bottom. Get to Barbados at 15:13

Good Luck.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sebastian Hernandez

Alias

"Quiet Spirit"

Features

6' 6"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Sorority of Tiny Tail

Emotions

Jealous

Personality

Poorly Serpentine

Motive

Make a lot of money to become the best

Bodyguard

James the "Hirsute Cat"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Damp Carousal

Deserted Arcade

Happiness Fortress

Random Events

Mutant Lunges at the group

Crazy Man Is being detained

Princess Adopts a nearby child

Diary Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Silas's Lounge Chair Solutions

Simpson's Hatrack Collective

Griffith's Stamp Set Productions

Robinson's Medallion Supermarket

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Beehive of Irritation

Objects

Lounge Chair with a False bottom

Stamp Set children's replica

Secret Hatrack

Hidden Longsword

Credit Card of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Target can Summon and Command an 8HD Earth Elemental 1d6 times

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Owen Simpson "Golden Ankles" Merchant Oranges Comic Books
Eliza Griffith "Cramped Spleens" Mole Coffee Washing Machines
Rose Alvarado Judge Sticks Candy
Silas Porter Railroad Conductor Rubber Stamps Candles
Aiden Robinson Surgeon Sponges Sponges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).