The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jose Cast Iron Pan?

#7a489f

Location

Breezy, Dark Benin

Time of Day

10:47

Extraction Point

152 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Diary made of heavy metal. Get to Benin at 07:13

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Harrison Hunt

Alias

"Junior Succubus"

Features

4' 1"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Left leg

Organization

The Unit of Enlightened Mommy

Emotions

Uncomfortable

Personality

Silently Puny

Motive

Take over a country because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Jose the "Worn Koalas"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Fat Masquerade

Deserted Barn Dance

Peace Palace

Random Events

Hoard arrives in the mail

Chauvinist runs over an infant

Carcass Is accused by the law

Goblet gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Alaina's Diary Unlimited

Lopez's Candelabra Properties

Wolfe's Bible Worldwide

Flynn's Statuette Warehouse

Traps

Javelin

Moving Executioner Statue of Demise

Objects

Diary made of heavy metal

Bible children's replica

Secret Candelabra

Hidden Knife

Watch of Demise

Wand of Wonder

Target’s weapon is riddled with holes but functions normally

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cameron Lopez "Four Stomachs" Merchant Jazz Cartography
Hunter Wolfe "Dull Ankles" Mole Dice Essential Oils
Eliza Chandler Plumber Jazz Syrup
Alaina Owen Drunken Butterflies Candles
Christopher Flynn Consultant Cellphones Bracelets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).