The Director Welcomes You

The Joyously Cheap Agent

#ade3af

Location

Miserable, Calm Turkmenistan

Time of Day

13:25

Extraction Point

83 Miles E

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Shirt children's replica. Get to Turkmenistan at 09:16

Good Luck.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Faith Waters

Alias

"One giant"

Features

5' 9"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Clique of Ugliest Yeast

Emotions

Spiteful

Personality

Joyously Calm

Motive

Take over a government to lust for power

Bodyguard

Jose the "Empty Wraith"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Cheap Castle

Pitch Black Pond

Fate Barn Dance

Random Events

Diary Is being detained

Prostitute Is frozen into a block of ice

Keg Attempts to rob a bank

Buccaneer Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Jayden's Shirt Cosmetics

Barrett's Mirror Department store

Russell's Sconce Chic Chåteau

Fuller's Grandfather Clock Warehouse

Traps

Acid Fog

Moving Executioner Statue of Destruction

Objects

Shirt children's replica

Sconce with a False bottom

Secret Mirror

Hidden Magazine

Ring of Destruction

Wand of Wonder

All Elves within 10 miles sprout jagged fangs

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mya Barrett "Plump Kidneys" Merchant Video Games Broccoli
Kayden Russell "Bullet Heels" Mole Bread Tissues
Robin Davidson Operator Basketball Rabbits
Jayden Sutton Veteran Glass Syrup
Brandon Fuller Psychiatrist Physics Death

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).