The Director Welcomes You

The Manager Competency Incident

#4bd5df

Location

Windy, Dark Trinidad and Tobago

Time of Day

13:51

Extraction Point

110 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Eyeballs,
I have sent you to the bottom of a Desolate Forest to look for a suspect by the name "Junior Humanoid". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A roll of thunder at the Broken Face".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Mechanical Pencil in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nicholas Osborne

Alias

"Junior Humanoid"

Features

7' 10"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Right middle finger

Organization

The Brotherhood of Wooden Space Station

Emotions

Jealous

Personality

Strictly Helpless

Motive

Take over a country to become famous

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Contemporary Rabbit"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Cooling Carnival

Touristy Lodge

Extermination Port

Random Events

Crowd stop the party and asks questions

Vagabond Lunges at the group

Pack of Wild Dogs scurries by

Majestic Painting catches on fire

World

Stores

Esther's Kitchen table Mall

Dennis's Crock Group

Padilla's Kitchen table Couture

Clark's Footlocker Little shop

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Acid Fog of Competency

Objects

Kitchen table made of heavy metal

Kitchen table children's replica

Secret Crock

Hidden Necklace

Polearm of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Next wound inflicted upon caster can’t be healed magically

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mason Dennis "Nice Forearms" Merchant Syrup Limes
Alyssa Padilla "Italian Pinky's" Mole Bracelets Video Games
Richard Castro Optimistic Syrup Attention
Esther Washington Elevator Mechanic Squirrels Gym Memberships
Margaret Clark Flirty Sponges Candy

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).