The Director Welcomes You

The Lumber Euphoria Incident

#a67c2a

Location

Miserable, Dark Kazakhstan

Time of Day

17:8

Extraction Point

167 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "White Leech" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "Distant sounds of screaming at the Turtle Rock". We need you to eliminate them, Cautiously. Their last known location was recorded at 05:03. You have a Angry Banana as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Landon Hampton

Alias

"White Leech"

Features

6' 5"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Union of Plain Daytime Tv

Emotions

Shamed

Personality

Cautiously Massive

Motive

Take over a government for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Darnell the "Broken Sprite"

Physical Size

Young

Story

Additional Locations

The Tiny Reef

Compact Acropolis

Fatality Peninsula

Random Events

Biscuit Adopts a nearby child

Husband Integrates silently into the group

German Trench Club Calls menacingly

Crow screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Ellie's Toolset Solutions

Johnston's Ceramic Crock Hole

Ingram's Bonsai Du jour

Griffin's Landscape Specialities

Traps

Poison Needle

Bestow Curse of Euphoria

Objects

Toolset children's replica

Bonsai that is glowing

Secret Ceramic Crock

Hidden Brass Knuckles

File of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Target has an overpowering fear of other members of his race

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jacob Johnston "Silver Cheesecakes" Merchant Physics Batteries
Abigail Ingram "Gross Eyes" Mole Christmas Cooking
Grant Cannon Drummer Cartography Scarves
Ellie Gonzales Hotel Manager Cookies Mirrors
Isaac Griffin Statistician Robots Glass

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).