The Director Welcomes You

Who is Nick Shunt?

#a2e716

Location

Dark, Mild Slovenia

Time of Day

5:1

Extraction Point

156 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Scrutinizers,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Polluted Island . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Golden Owl" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A vagrant asks for food at the ruined castle". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Sharp Baking Tray hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mariah Watts

Alias

"Golden Owl"

Features

4' 7"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Committee of Shitty Mass

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Knavishly Hot

Motive

Disrupt the military for honor

Bodyguard

Nick the "Smelly Sea Lion"

Physical Size

Toy

Story

Additional Locations

The Small Circus

Ancient Carnival

Rage Sanctuary

Random Events

Wanderer Crashes slowly

Herd of Chicken Attempts to rob a bank

Amulet Is being kidnapped

VAT of Broth Becomes wounded

World

Stores

Tristan's Tea Pot International

Evans's Statue Specialities

McGee's Faberge Egg Specialities

Munoz's Suit of armor Consulting

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Floor Net of Cheer

Objects

Tea Pot that is glowing

Faberge Egg made of heavy metal

Secret Statue

Hidden Brass Knuckles

Lipstick of Cheer

Wand of Wonder

Target can appear to be covered in moss and lichens at will

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Liliana Evans "Heavy Lungs" Merchant Rabbits Flashlights
Thomas McGee "White Eyes" Mole Tissues Balloons
Diego Dawson Drunken Contracts Hammers
Tristan Gilbert Scientist Doves Chili
Graham Munoz Dentist Acorns Whipped Cream

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).