The Director Welcomes You
The Calligraphy Pen Obsession Protocol
#742962
Agents, It seems "Two Goblins" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "A pool of blood at the dancing-trees". We need you to eliminate them, Verbally. Their last known location was recorded at 15:15. You have a Delicate Lighter as a last resort. Use carefully.
— The CD player you were holding self destructs.
Jason May
"Two Goblins"
4' 1"
Hazel eyes
Stretch Marks / Left hand
The Incorporated of Shrilling Paper Bag
Amused
Verbally Old-Fashioned
Take over a country to become famous
Tim the "Filthy Hyena"
Little
The Delightful Park
Archaic Shelter
Instability Sanctuary
Beggar Bounces oddly
Box of Mice gathers near a point of interest
Squirrel skins a cat with his teeth
Spice Box Is hurled at the adventurers
Levi's Oil Lamp Worldwide
Cortez's Vanity Creative
Swanson's Flower in Vase Collective
Day's Candle Factory
Dropping Ceiling
Suspicious door with lock of Obsession
Oil Lamp children's replica
Flower in Vase children's replica
Secret Vanity
Hidden Polearm
Diary of Obsession
Caster’s attempts to change shape always fail spectacularly
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Leo Cortez | "Yellow Kidneys" | Merchant | Football | Dinosaurs |
| Landon Swanson | "Red Thumbs" | Mole | Gym Memberships | Sponges |
| Charles Gardner | Midwife | Soda | Octopus | |
| Levi Dean | Exhilarated | Rock n' Roll | Bread | |
| Harper Day | Waiter | Eggs | Notes |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).