The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Sore Butter

#c005f3

Location

Dull, Hot Russia

Time of Day

10:54

Extraction Point

195 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Wild Siren" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Painted Sands". We need you to eliminate them, Sedately. Their last known location was recorded at 02:13. You have a Feminine Newspaper as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Easton Guzman

Alias

"Wild Siren"

Features

4' 10"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right arm

Organization

The League of Embarrassed Mass

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Sedately Icy

Motive

Take over a country for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Jack the "Old Minotaur"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Sore Manor

Compact Forest

Instability Peninsula

Random Events

Bum approaches

Chauvinist Is accused by the law

Keg Skips merrily

Rhapsody Protests

World

Stores

Alice's Fire poker set Mall

Ward's Glass Jars Cosmetics

Green's Shoe Horn Worldwide

Marsh's Rubber Plant International

Traps

Acid Arrow

Portcullis of Cheer

Objects

Fire poker set children's replica

Shoe Horn made of heavy metal

Secret Glass Jars

Hidden Rapier

Book of Cheer

Wand of Wonder

Hundreds of thousands of acorns fall from the sky

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Eleanor Ward "Nice Tongues" Merchant Snowglobes Sailboats
Jonah Green "Slow Stomachs" Mole Photography Lipstick
Nevaeh Gilbert Consultant Sharks Sun Glasses
Alice Carroll Hairdresser Painting Sponges
Allison Marsh Frustrated Sticks Plushies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).