The Director Welcomes You

Who is Tim Chili?

#8526d8

Location

Rainy, Cool Austria

Time of Day

4:42

Extraction Point

109 Miles S

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Agents,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Faberge Egg with a False bottom. Get to Austria at 01:03

Good Luck.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Edward McGee

Alias

"Four Hydra"

Features

6' 3"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Firm of Short Equipment

Emotions

Hurt

Personality

Tightly Beautiful

Motive

Make a lot of money to become the best

Bodyguard

Tim the "Hirsute Dragon"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Obedient City

Abandoned Isle

Doom Manor

Random Events

Demon Is accused by the law

Delivery Guy Skips merrily

Spice Box Is being kidnapped

Lactose Intolerance overflows

World

Stores

Laila's Faberge Egg Bazaar

Deleon's Bottle Emporium

McDaniel's Flower in Vase Solutions

Montgomery's Statuette Little shop

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Flooded Corridor of Well-being

Objects

Faberge Egg with a False bottom

Flower in Vase with a False bottom

Secret Bottle

Hidden Blowgun

Pen of Well-being

Wand of Wonder

Caster is forcibly barred from the next town he attempts to enter

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hayden Deleon "Violet Brains" Merchant Christmas Soup
Caroline McDaniel "Right Spleens" Mole Jazz Glitter
Cameron Patel Librarian Quartz Crystals Water
Laila Simon Weakened Sailboats Cats
Olivia Montgomery Graphic Designer Singing Lions

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).