The Director Welcomes You

The Hospital Euthanasia Incident

#f24717

Location

Dull, Dull Lebanon

Time of Day

22:5

Extraction Point

181 Miles SW

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Meddlers,
It seems "White Gnome" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "A shadow passes at the Music Store". We need you to eliminate them, Afterwards. Their last known location was recorded at 17:09. You have a Clean Blanket as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Adeline Gonzales

Alias

"White Gnome"

Features

7' 9"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Crew of Echoing Hose

Emotions

Excited

Personality

Afterwards Unsightly

Motive

Disrupt the military because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Tony the "Empty ghost"

Physical Size

Sizable

Story

Additional Locations

The Edgy Spring

Touristy Masquerade

Reservation Festival

Random Events

Potato drops from the sky

Musical overflows

Milk Shipment Evades the law

Building Protests

World

Stores

Luke's Suit of armor Boutique

Castro's Creeping Vines Consulting

West's Sofa Convenience store

Reese's Metal chair International

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Ice lock of Euthanasia

Objects

Suit of armor made of heavy metal

Sofa with a False bottom

Secret Creeping Vines

Hidden Hammers

Bangle of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

Target feels compelled to martyr himself for someone else’s deity

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Iris Castro "Quiet Forearms" Merchant Cellphones Soup
Liam West "Five Throats" Mole Doors Water
Josephine Perkins Drummer Socks Glitter
Luke Mack Hairdresser Cellphones Comic Books
Natalia Reese Artist Flowers Gym Memberships

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).