The Director Welcomes You

The Sharply Cold Agent

#5f23da

Location

Dull, Cool Kuwait

Time of Day

12:19

Extraction Point

157 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Operatives,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Compact Nuclear Power Plant . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Blue Zombie" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Seven Dead". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Colorful Belt hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Xavier Haynes

Alias

"Blue Zombie"

Features

5' 9"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Crotch

Organization

The Council of Sensual Growth

Emotions

Shocked

Personality

Sharply Sensual

Motive

Disrupt the military to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Faithful Horse"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Cold Sanctuary

Expensive Castle

Bliss Carnival

Random Events

Majestic Painting Protests

Bank Crashes slowly

Husband Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Rhapsody Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

Madelyn's Canopy Bed Market

Carter's Plaster Bust Consulting

Walton's Counter Brothers

Mueller's Sink Brothers

Traps

Floor Net

Fusillade of Darts of Delirium

Objects

Canopy Bed made of heavy metal

Counter made of heavy metal

Secret Plaster Bust

Hidden Pike

Stave of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Target makes a spirited effort to remove his lower jaw

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Roman Carter "Black Dumplings" Merchant Children's Stories Harmonica
Luke Walton "Short Boy" Mole Sharp Things Bracelets
Taylor Yang Restless Shirts Quartz Crystals
Madelyn Guzman Chief Executive Officer Hamsters Soda
Zion Mueller Waiter Horses Plushies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).