The Director Welcomes You

Tramp, Country, Eggnog, Spy.

#fe651f

Location

Windless, Windy Qatar

Time of Day

17:22

Extraction Point

68 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Shadows,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Figurine made of heavy metal. Get to Qatar at 20:14

Good Luck.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jordan Patterson

Alias

"Cheap Elves"

Features

5' 5"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left middle finger

Organization

The Sorority of Bewildered Eggnog

Emotions

Trust

Personality

Yawningly Delicious

Motive

Make a lot of money to save humanity

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Hyper Spirit"

Physical Size

Petty

Story

Additional Locations

The Boiling Lake

Desolate Circus

Obliteration Circus

Random Events

Husband meets disaster

Swarm of Bees Is throwing a protest

Meteor Evades the law

Deadbeat Catches leprosy

World

Stores

Miles's Figurine Labs

Hoffman's Crate Cosmetics

Weber's Brass Replica Worldwide

Vaughn's Desk Supermarket

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Black Tentacles of Indecision

Objects

Figurine made of heavy metal

Brass Replica with a False bottom

Secret Crate

Hidden Hatchet

Longsword of Indecision

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s home has served as a grain silo while he’s been away

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Allison Hoffman "Silver Pinky's" Merchant Cookies Children's Stories
Joseph Weber "Short Cheesecakes" Mole Stickers Chalk
Delilah Mann Depressed Video Games Water
Miles Jones Bounty hunter Tissues Jigsaw Puzzles
Natalie Vaughn Master Distiller Potatoes Contracts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).