The Director Welcomes You

Spike, Erection, Ashtray, Spy.

#b9cb60

Location

Windless, Mild East Timor

Time of Day

10:0

Extraction Point

194 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Agents,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Canopy Bed with a False bottom. Get to East Timor at 18:22

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Melody Welch

Alias

"Tough Sprite"

Features

4' 8"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Unit of Thundering Ashtray

Emotions

Joyful

Personality

Obnoxiously Moist

Motive

Take over a government for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Hal the "Hot Cyclops"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Baked Manor

Deserted Palace

Excitement Carousal

Random Events

Pack of Wild Dogs Adopts a nearby child

Amulet gathers near a point of interest

Feminist meets disaster

Water Vessel Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Jesse's Canopy Bed Du jour

Blair's Iron stove Solutions

Davis's Lounge Chair Arcade

Sandoval's Staircase International

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Compacting Room of Competency

Objects

Canopy Bed with a False bottom

Lounge Chair children's replica

Secret Iron stove

Hidden Hatchet

Bracer of Competency

Wand of Wonder

The ground now at target’s feet heats to 10 x 1d100 degrees

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brooklyn Blair "Meaty Lemons" Merchant Jigsaw Puzzles Rocks
Sophia Davis "Fat Hands" Mole Soccer Ice Cubes
Autumn Yates Frazzled Death Dolphins
Jesse Wright Chief Executive Officer Coffee Snowglobes
Leah Sandoval Engineer Coffee Chocolate

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).