The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Incendiary Whistle

#9cca3e

Location

Frigid, Windless Chile

Time of Day

13:34

Extraction Point

30 Miles S

Time to Complete

17 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Junior Kaiju" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Flooded Crystal". We need you to eliminate them, Knowingly. Their last known location was recorded at 09:21. You have a Invisible Brush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Arianna Harmon

Alias

"Junior Kaiju"

Features

4' 1"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Crotch

Organization

The League of Gorgeous Meat

Emotions

Uncomfortable

Personality

Knowingly Whispering

Motive

Make a lot of money to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Johnny the "Brave Porpoises"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Incendiary Barn Dance

Deserted Acropolis

Stealth Palace

Random Events

Whore drops from the sky

Chauvinist Lunges at the group

Cauldron Bounces oddly

Butter Shipment Catches leprosy

World

Stores

Sherri's Globe Warehouse

Contreras's Workbench Department store

Thompson's Pan Mall

Grant's Hatrack Emporium

Traps

Acid Arrow

Ray of Sickness of Delight

Objects

Globe that has been hollowed out

Pan with a False bottom

Secret Workbench

Hidden Crossbow

Rapier of Delight

Wand of Wonder

Target’s sternum turns to steel

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emerson Contreras "Heavy Cheesecakes" Merchant Scarves Video Games
Logan Thompson "Mini Toes" Mole Sticks Dice
Madison Ramirez Demon Oranges Syrup
Sherri Mack Architect Acorns Sharp Things
Zachary Grant Meteorologist Baseball Sharks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).