The Director Welcomes You

The Worriedly Fresh Agent

#76fc6f

Location

Foggy, Dull Samoa

Time of Day

24:45

Extraction Point

143 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Crowded Maze . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Short Camel" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Dragon's Sea". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Soft Apron hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Paige Hawkins

Alias

"Short Camel"

Features

6' 10"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Commission of Repulsive Map

Emotions

Safe

Personality

Worriedly Verdant

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Terry the "Zealous Basilisk"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Fresh Port

Deserted Crypt

Ruin Business

Random Events

Mutant Ignites violently

Goblet Is accused by the law

Crowd gathers near a point of interest

Chunk of Beef Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Gracie's Diary Bazaar

Richards's Credenza Warehouse

Weber's Goblet Collective

Harrison's Lamp Industries

Traps

Arrow

Fire of Cheer

Objects

Diary made of heavy metal

Goblet that has been hollowed out

Secret Credenza

Hidden Rock

Arrows of Cheer

Wand of Wonder

Target can speak only in whale song for 1d4 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alexandra Richards "Junior Cheesecakes" Merchant Limes Video Games
Gabriella Weber "Tough Elbows" Mole Chocolate Potatoes
Justin Mendoza Pharmacist Fire Octopus
Gracie Fisher Flirty Scarves Gym Memberships
Eloise Harrison Old Timer Lamps Trucks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).