The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Insidious Poison

#48ce08

Location

Miserable, Hot Belgium

Time of Day

16:35

Extraction Point

139 Miles SE

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Meddlers,
I have sent you to climb a Bustling Park to look for a suspect by the name "Dull Goblins". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A white horse dashes past at the Three Fingers".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Dull Toy in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Roman Lowe

Alias

"Dull Goblins"

Features

5' 1"

Red eyes

Large moles / Right foot

Organization

The League of Embarrassed Hole

Emotions

Worried

Personality

Obnoxiously Savory

Motive

Take over a government to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Charles the "Obnoxious Sloth"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Insidious Circus

Abandoned Suburbs

Excitement Palace

Random Events

Lactose Intolerance Catches leprosy

Softball Adopts a nearby child

Pack of Wild Dogs Catches leprosy

VAT of Broth runs over an infant

World

Stores

Ayden's Canopy Bed Consulting

Vargas's Sofa Chic Chåteau

Guerrero's Pipe Arcade

Fitzgerald's Faberge Egg Unlimited

Traps

Chain Lightning

Scything Blade of Exuberance

Objects

Canopy Bed that has been hollowed out

Pipe that is glowing

Secret Sofa

Hidden Sabre

Shield of Exuberance

Wand of Wonder

Target’s weapon is chained by its hilt to a collar about his neck

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aurora Vargas "Left Eyes" Merchant Television Cookies
Bailey Guerrero "Mad Fingers" Mole Paper Chocolate
Reagan Mendez Railroad Conductor Rock n' Roll Cookies
Ayden Duncan Plumber Death Basketball
Daniel Fitzgerald Blacksmith Batteries Contracts

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).