The Director Welcomes You

Who is John Quality?

#9238cf

Location

Overcast, Dull Algeria

Time of Day

18:1

Extraction Point

158 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Informants,
We need your help. Agent Emmett Pratt has gone missing and we believe "Tough Goblins" is responsible. They were last seen in Algeria at 08:11. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the old bridge". Take this Robotic Banana - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Wesley Payne

Alias

"Tough Goblins"

Features

6' 7"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Crotch

Organization

The Firm of Dusty Piercing

Emotions

Weary

Personality

Brightly Square

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

John the "Strung Out The Grim Reaper"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Sweltering House

Hidden City

Bliss Lagoon

Random Events

Gang Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Princess chase a suspect

Wedding Cake Strikes the church bell

Crying Child Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Landon's Pan Unlimited

Hubbard's Stamp Set Market

Mann's Trophy Market

Pratt's Rubber Plant Logistics

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Falling Block of Fury

Objects

Pan that has been hollowed out

Trophy made of heavy metal

Secret Stamp Set

Hidden Bracer

Goblet of Fury

Wand of Wonder

All ink within one mile is invisible in sunlight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zachary Hubbard "Small Lungs" Merchant Death Trees
Alex Mann "Wild Legs" Mole Fire Socks
Parker Andrews Tailor Rock n' Roll Sharp Things
Landon Mason Physician Candles Contracts
Emmett Pratt Veteran Lipstick Dice

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).