The Director Welcomes You

Boutique Royale

#0ec70c

Location

Miserable, Cloudy Antigua and Barbuda

Time of Day

13:47

Extraction Point

170 Miles SW

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to within earshot of a Overpopulated Park to look for a suspect by the name "Casual Eel". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Rainbow Mountain".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clandestine Hammock in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Adrian McDonald

Alias

"Casual Eel"

Features

5' 1"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Association of Shallow Pie

Emotions

Contempt

Personality

Faithfully Filthy

Motive

Take over a country for honor

Bodyguard

Donald the "Stoned Opossums"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Mango Masquerade

Deserted Creek

Pleasure Lagoon

Random Events

Horse Carriage Finds gold in the water

Skeleton scurries by

Water Vessel Strikes the church bell

Carcass Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Liliana's Bottle Boutique

Lawrence's Watch Industries

Berry's Statue Couture

Peters's Hatrack Threads

Traps

Compacting Room

Extended Bane of Delight

Objects

Bottle that is glowing

Statue that has been hollowed out

Secret Watch

Hidden Whip

Lipstick of Delight

Wand of Wonder

When caster next draws blood, rain immediately begins to fall

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kennedy Lawrence "One Boy" Merchant Horses Honey
Savannah Berry "Orange Forearms" Mole Coffee Cartography
Kingston Terry Scientist Photography Batteries
Liliana Sanchez Plumber Quartz Crystals Cousins
Lucia Peters Physician Comic Books Flowers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).