The Director Welcomes You

The Problem Skill Protocol

#d753ce

Location

Dull, Wet Turkmenistan

Time of Day

22:0

Extraction Point

135 Miles S

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Ancient Suburbs . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Junior Pheonix" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Grey Hollow". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Invisible Vise hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

George Miller

Alias

"Junior Pheonix"

Features

7' 2"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Left hand

Organization

The Company of Cheap Pineapple

Emotions

Rejected

Personality

Cheerfully Yummy

Motive

Take over a country out of desperation

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Skinny Bear"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Jolly Lagoon

Touristy Manor

Freshness Fortress

Random Events

German Trench Club runs over an infant

Gypsy Catches leprosy

Whore meets disaster

Thief Becomes wounded

World

Stores

Leilani's Crate Worldwide

Cruz's Tapestry International

McGuire's Desk Collective

Guerrero's Bookcase Du jour

Traps

Compacting Room

Rolling Rock of Skill

Objects

Crate that is glowing

Desk that is glowing

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Watch

Katana of Skill

Wand of Wonder

Target has a seizure lasting until he’s struck by magic 5835 Target has a small lamp in his forehead like a miner’s helmet

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gavin Cruz "Little Lungs" Merchant Syrup Chickens
Daniela McGuire "Black Muscles" Mole Drinking Cellphones
Robin Fletcher Envious Candles Acorns
Leilani Lloyd Drummer Trucks Paperclips
Bryson Guerrero Drummer Contracts Notes

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).