The Director Welcomes You

Who is Tony Crush?

#b8f66b

Location

Foul, Frigid Vanuatu

Time of Day

3:28

Extraction Point

92 Miles N

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to approach a Deserted Volcano to look for a suspect by the name "Violet Gremlin". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Broken Face".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clean Clamp in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Catherine Williams

Alias

"Violet Gremlin"

Features

5' 3"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Left thumb

Organization

The Bunch of Derogatory Hose

Emotions

Adoration

Personality

Instantly Attractive

Motive

Take over a government to lust for power

Bodyguard

Tony the "Frilled Koalas"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Scaley Fortress

Crowded Suburbs

Vulnerability Maze

Random Events

Cauldron Is frozen into a block of ice

Bunny Balances on a ledge

Swarm of Bees Balances on a ledge

Demon is robbed

World

Stores

Maddox's Cabinet Beauty Stop

Stevens's Chaise Properties

Gonzalez's Coat of Arms Collective

Gonzales's Bed Labs

Traps

Wall Blade

Burning Hands of Ruin

Objects

Cabinet that is glowing

Coat of Arms with a False bottom

Secret Chaise

Hidden Dagger

Shield of Ruin

Wand of Wonder

Anyone within 50 yards with a tattoo loses 4d10 hit points

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sherri Stevens "Green Forearms" Merchant Chickens Chickens
Charlotte Gonzalez "Quiet Kidneys" Mole Dolphins Basketball
Abel Kim Surgeon Shirts Technology
Maddox Curtis Cheerful Jazz Chalk
Theodore Gonzales Blacksmith Lions Doors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).