The Director Welcomes You

Who is Tony Hose?

#4ea605

Location

Miserable, Arid Canada

Time of Day

18:16

Extraction Point

152 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Informants,
It seems "Obese potato" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the witch's mound". We need you to eliminate them, Selfishly. Their last known location was recorded at 19:04. You have a Robotic Audio Cassette as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jose Chan

Alias

"Obese potato"

Features

7' 8"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Left arm

Organization

The Task Force of Mossy Head

Emotions

Inferior

Personality

Selfishly Mastadonic

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Tony the "Chewy Anteaters"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Dilligent Palace

Underwater Castle

Secrecy Pond

Random Events

Buccaneer strikes the ground

Herd of Chicken approaches

Beggar is loose

Thief runs over an infant

World

Stores

Camden's Taxidermy animal Wardrobe

Wilson's Bible Convenience store

Woods's Faberge Egg Wardrobe

Vazquez's Toolset Worldwide

Traps

Scything Blade

Blade Barrier of Destruction

Objects

Taxidermy animal children's replica

Faberge Egg that is glowing

Secret Bible

Hidden Newspaper

Brass Knuckles of Destruction

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, his clothes turn to lead

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gael Wilson "Black Dumplings" Merchant Slippers Rock n' Roll
Asher Woods "Chunky Pretzels" Mole Soup Plushies
Jocelyn Sanders Farmer Attention Gym Memberships
Camden Ball Dog surfing instructor Sailboats Washing Machines
Micah Vazquez Mechanic Cartography Cousins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).