The Director Welcomes You

The Sadistic Voyage Conundrum

#27fe98

Location

Miserable, Dark Georgia

Time of Day

24:30

Extraction Point

99 Miles SE

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Raelynn Graves has gone missing and we believe "Chunky Yeti" is responsible. They were last seen in Georgia at 05:23. The agent sent one final message – "A pool of blood at the Rainbow Mountain". Take this Slippery Lipstick - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eden Vazquez

Alias

"Chunky Yeti"

Features

7' 3"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Association of Kind Honduras

Emotions

Disoriented

Personality

Reassuringly Ripe

Motive

Disrupt the military for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Glamorous Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Sadistic Manor

Pitch Black Jungle

Endownment Island

Random Events

German Trench Club catches on fire

Chunk of Beef Adopts a nearby child

Swarm of Bees is loose

Transport Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Ian's Bed Outlet

Fernandez's Mantle Creative

Harvey's Easel Discount

Graves's Tea Set Emporium

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Floor Net of Ice

Objects

Bed that is glowing

Easel children's replica

Secret Mantle

Hidden Axe

Spikes of Ice

Wand of Wonder

Caster is 10% likely to sympathize with any enemy he injures

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Daniel Fernandez "Quiet Bones" Merchant Chocolate Television
Daniela Harvey "Stiff Feet" Mole Clocks Washing Machines
Asher Douglas Annoyed Broccoli Washing Machines
Ian Andrews Zestful Bells Clocks
Raelynn Graves Architect Tissues Robots

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).