The Director Welcomes You

Who is Harold Grip?

#7171a2

Location

Windless, Dry Guyana

Time of Day

9:46

Extraction Point

168 Miles W

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "Chunky Bigfoot" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "Distant sounds of screaming at the Apple Orchard". We need you to eliminate them, Monthly. Their last known location was recorded at 08:11. You have a Glowing Bandana as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Scarlett Howell

Alias

"Chunky Bigfoot"

Features

5' 8"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Firm of Constipated Pole

Emotions

Tender

Personality

Monthly Egregious

Motive

Take over a government because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Harold the "Faithful ghost"

Physical Size

Colossal

Story

Additional Locations

The Glamorous Villa

Underground Circus

Delirium Isle

Random Events

Robber Ignites violently

Mutant Integrates silently into the group

Goblet grabs a lady's purse

Dead Animal Catches leprosy

World

Stores

Malachi's Canopy Bed Productions

Hale's Cabinet Properties

Scott's Candle Threads

Rose's Satchel Boutique

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Rolling Rock of Death

Objects

Canopy Bed made of heavy metal

Candle that is glowing

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Watch

Sword of Death

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he’ll combust if he reads a map

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Parker Hale "Fast Ankles" Merchant Batteries Snowglobes
Adrian Scott "Drowsy Dumplings" Mole Glass Death
Jesse Collins Hotel Manager Sticks Easter
Malachi Barnett Human Statue Trees Essential Oils
Maria Rose Veteran Water Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).