The Director Welcomes You

Emporium Royale

#bd7531

Location

Gorgeous, Frigid Bahrain

Time of Day

6:1

Extraction Point

93 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Spy Deputies,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Iron stove made of heavy metal. Get to Bahrain at 22:14

Good Luck.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Zion McDonald

Alias

"Dull Demon"

Features

4' 9"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Neck

Organization

The Incorporated of Bewildered Belief

Emotions

Inferior

Personality

Surprisingly Freezing

Motive

Disrupt the military out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Harrison the "Skinny Lion"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Black Spring

Overpopulated Grove

Power Pond

Random Events

Dead Animal Is under a curse

Crow Glistens gently

Procession Catches leprosy

Turtle chase a suspect

World

Stores

Emmett's Iron stove Emporium

Mclaughlin's Satchel Boutique

Gallagher's Flower in Vase Mall

Banks's Statue International

Traps

Razor-Wire across Hallway

Rune of Paralyzation of Perspiration

Objects

Iron stove made of heavy metal

Flower in Vase made of heavy metal

Secret Satchel

Hidden Knife

Cat of Perspiration

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s head is impervious to non-magical missile fire

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aaliyah Mclaughlin "Meaty Toes" Merchant Glitter Dice
Eliana Gallagher "Yellow Ankles" Mole Rock n' Roll Tea
Melody Schultz Blacksmith Easter Rubber Stamps
Emmett Byrd Geologist Paper Candles
Landon Banks Envious Teeth Christmas

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).