The Director Welcomes You

The Soiree Weakness Incident

#931340

Location

Overcast, Overcast Latvia

Time of Day

17:1

Extraction Point

99 Miles S

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Ambassadors,
As you can see you are trapped inside climb a Desolate Spring . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Tough Normal Guy" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Crossroads". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clean Condom hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eleanor Glover

Alias

"Tough Normal Guy"

Features

5' 5"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Neck

Organization

The Sorority of Insolent Insignia

Emotions

Numb

Personality

Wholly Square

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Robust Banshee"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Insolent Isle

Polluted House

Calamity Jungle

Random Events

Pine Branch is being loudly arrested

Woman Lunges at the group

Storm Skips merrily

Horse Carriage emerges

World

Stores

Brantley's Candelabra Worldwide

Schneider's Butter Churner Warehouse

Davidson's Drawers Atelier

Sparks's Wingback chair International

Traps

Rolling Rock

Fusillade of Darts of Weakness

Objects

Candelabra made of heavy metal

Drawers made of heavy metal

Secret Butter Churner

Hidden Button

Trident of Weakness

Wand of Wonder

Target’s skin develops an intricate patchwork of scars

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Theodore Schneider "Green Parmigianas" Merchant Gym Memberships Clocks
Ruby Davidson "Big Spleens" Mole Horses Sponges
Alexander Fitzgerald Ghost Sticky Notes Doors
Brantley Todd Weakened Glitter Toilets
Oliver Sparks Optimistic Death Squirrels

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).