The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Prehensile Pizza

#f98f85

Location

Sunny, Breezy Sierra Leone

Time of Day

0:48

Extraction Point

3 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside the inside of a Crowded Sanctuary . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Drowsy Werewolf" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a random cow at the ruined castle". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Bulbous Blouse hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Katherine Fisher

Alias

"Drowsy Werewolf"

Features

6' 8"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Sorority of Robust Bong

Emotions

Enthusiastic

Personality

Bitterly Little

Motive

Take over a country to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Happy Sphinx"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Prehensile Creek

Archaic Festival

Competency Isle

Random Events

Bard Evades the law

Procession Attempts to rob a bank

Leopard scurries by

Panhandler Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Angelina's Drawers Outlet

French's Portrait Technologies

Richardson's Landscape Technologies

Bauer's Musical instrument International

Traps

Beehive

Fusillade of Darts of Delirium

Objects

Drawers children's replica

Landscape children's replica

Secret Portrait

Hidden Coin

Targe of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Nearest bridge turns permanently invisible

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kingston French "All Waffles" Merchant Candy Chili
Kinsley Richardson "Mad Tongues" Mole Lamps Clocks
Maria Daniels Athlete Trees Oranges
Angelina Richards Meteorologist Cats Water
Jose Bauer Animator Sponges Syrup

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).