The Director Welcomes You

The Twins Extinction Protocol

#b56583

Location

Warm, Cloudless Seychelles

Time of Day

4:6

Extraction Point

37 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Ancient Suburbs . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "No Ghost" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the Eye of Heaven". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Sharp Boot hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jesse Gardner

Alias

"No Ghost"

Features

5' 5"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Crew of Immense Face

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Inquisitively Faint

Motive

Take over a country because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Ali the "Ugliest Yeti"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Fastidious Sanctuary

Desolate Spring

Death Jungle

Random Events

Store Calls menacingly

Cat Crashes slowly

Keg grabs a lady's purse

Vagabond is loose

World

Stores

Alaina's Easel Supermarket

Rose's Globe Department store

Morgan's Urn Brothers

Myers's Music Box Productions

Traps

Fireball

Hail of Needles of Extinction

Objects

Easel that has been hollowed out

Urn with a False bottom

Secret Globe

Hidden Shield

Bottle of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s left arm appears to carry a powerful enchantment

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kaleb Rose "Short Pastrami's" Merchant Jazz Soap
Alyssa Morgan "Mad Falafels" Mole Soup Money
Vincent Maxwell Surgeon Doors Essential Oils
Alaina Foster Psychiatrist Socks Football
Oliver Myers Dietitian Plushies Lamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).