The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Helpless Queen

#7af6ae

Location

Foggy, Sunny Korea, South

Time of Day

17:7

Extraction Point

52 Miles SW

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Eyeballs,
As you can see you are trapped inside the inside of a Abandoned Citadel . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Red Kangaroos" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Field of Wildflowers". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Bulbous Boot hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jordyn Kelley

Alias

"Red Kangaroos"

Features

7' 6"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Crotch

Organization

The League of Victorian Gold

Emotions

Bored

Personality

Selfishly Millions

Motive

Make a lot of money to save humanity

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Mastadonic Python"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Helpless Reef

Archaic Tower

Death Arcade

Random Events

Bag of Lemons gathers near a point of interest

Fairy Is being tortured

Alligator Protests

Panhandler Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Ariel's Urn Hole

Le's Figurine Department store

Allen's Footlocker Department store

Garza's Platter Ventures

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Acid Fog of Amnesia

Objects

Urn children's replica

Footlocker made of heavy metal

Secret Figurine

Hidden Coin

Glasses of Amnesia

Wand of Wonder

Any packs, pouches, or bags carried by target are full of blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Candace Le "Cramped Lemons" Merchant Rock n' Roll Plushies
Weston Allen "King Bagels" Mole Butterflies Broccoli
Emery Dominguez Dog surfing instructor Cartography Soda
Ariel Rodgers Waiter Glass Sticks
Joseph Garza Technician Balloons Chili

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).