The Director Welcomes You

The Graveyard Grave Consequences Protocol

#246f41

Location

Dull, Foggy Jamaica

Time of Day

15:44

Extraction Point

193 Miles E

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Agents,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Fireplace children's replica. Get to Jamaica at 23:16

Good Luck.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Delilah Nichols

Alias

"Italian The Grim Reaper"

Features

4' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Right thumb

Organization

The Firm of Substantial Diamond

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Kiddingly Sclerotic

Motive

Disrupt the military for a love interest

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Massive giant"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Braised Shelter

Overpopulated Masquerade

Fire Circus

Random Events

German Trench Club Lunges at the group

Spectator Becomes wounded

Musical Is accused by the law

Reindeer screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Jesus's Fireplace Discount

Palmer's Window Outlet

Farmer's Mirror International

Hammond's Music Box Emporium

Traps

Rolling Rock

Water-Filled Room of Grave Consequences

Objects

Fireplace children's replica

Mirror that has been hollowed out

Secret Window

Hidden Guthook

Longsword of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

When reduced to one hit point, caster teleports 2d20 yards

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Riley Palmer "All Bones" Merchant Tissues Sharks
Miles Farmer "Nice Hands" Mole Snowglobes Bracelets
Benjamin Campbell Cranky Doves Lamps
Jesus Acosta Vision Pillows Doors
Claire Hammond Teacher Notes Lions

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).