The Director Welcomes You

The Thanks Obsession Protocol

#592f1f

Location

Foggy, Foggy Belarus

Time of Day

1:30

Extraction Point

180 Miles NE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Casual Minotaur" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Skull shaped island". We need you to eliminate them, Slowly. Their last known location was recorded at 17:14. You have a Slippery Lipstick as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ryker Reeves

Alias

"Casual Minotaur"

Features

7' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left leg

Organization

The Department of Gigantic Shiv

Emotions

Envious

Personality

Slowly Cold

Motive

Take over a government to become rich

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Rabid Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Weak Peninsula

Rundown Business

Obsession Lagoon

Random Events

Diary is being loudly arrested

Vagabond Is under a curse

Wanderer Protests

Safe Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

Jeremiah's Telescope Cosmetics

Nunez's Easel Bureau

Vargas's Staircase Productions

Park's Kitchen table Bureau

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Swinging Block of Obsession

Objects

Telescope children's replica

Staircase that is glowing

Secret Easel

Hidden Axe

Falchion of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Target is unable to look directly at the caster

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Carson Nunez "Big Forearms" Merchant Sun Glasses Plushies
Jason Vargas "Cheap Cappuccinos" Mole Gym Memberships Sailboats
Naomi Gregory Acupuncturist Mirrors Sticky Notes
Jeremiah Tyler Depressed Limes Syrup
Hailey Park Professional Bridesmaid Cousins Snowglobes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).