The Director Welcomes You

The Nutritious Serf Crusade

#e42e19

Location

Gorgeous, Stormy Côte d’Ivoire

Time of Day

3:10

Extraction Point

70 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Hat made of heavy metal. Get to Côte d’Ivoire at 24:01

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Zayden Graves

Alias

"Indigo Unicorn"

Features

5' 8"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Right eye

Organization

The Order of Crooked Internet

Emotions

Anticipating

Personality

Unnecessarily Eager

Motive

Take over a government to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Nick the "Adorable Eel"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Nutritious Creek

Hidden Masquerade

Bliss Manor

Random Events

Spice Box Is being detained

Cat stop the party and asks questions

Pickpocket Is frozen into a block of ice

Odor Is under a curse

World

Stores

Jesse's Hat Ventures

Chan's Bible Factory

Cooper's Credenza Technologies

Hughes's End Table Threads

Traps

Fireball

Bricks from Ceiling of Redemption

Objects

Hat made of heavy metal

Credenza that is glowing

Secret Bible

Hidden Targe

Shoe of Redemption

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters a lake, he teleports to a different lake

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aliyah Chan "Black Legs" Merchant Soap Soup
Greyson Cooper "Small Noses" Mole Television Writers
Emerson Roberts Chef Boxes Comic Books
Jesse Cross Plumber Children's Stories Batteries
Nathan Hughes Butcher Death Rocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).