The Director Welcomes You

The Curmudgeon Casualties Incident

#bd9f3b

Location

Balmy, Windless Argentina

Time of Day

18:33

Extraction Point

83 Miles E

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Scrutinizers,
As you can see you are trapped inside the outside of a Overpopulated Labratory . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Black Leech" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A black cat runs past at the Ancient Fountain". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Robotic Lighter hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ryan Todd

Alias

"Black Leech"

Features

5' 9"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left middle finger

Organization

The Department of Echoing Tampon

Emotions

Insulted

Personality

Fervently Quiet

Motive

Take over a government to control the Children

Bodyguard

Jose the "Curious Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Salmon Mansion

Archaic Festival

Passion Lagoon

Random Events

Gunshot Integrates silently into the group

Turtle meets disaster

Pine Branch runs over an infant

Hound arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Xavier's Chair Emporium

Logan's Counter Outlet

Gilbert's Lounge Chair Group

Reid's Spice shelf Industries

Traps

Chain Lightning

Large Net of Casualties

Objects

Chair that is glowing

Lounge Chair that has been hollowed out

Secret Counter

Hidden Dagger

Button of Casualties

Wand of Wonder

Nearest town is the site of an ancient magical battle

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alina Logan "Mad Hearts" Merchant Rocks Sharp Things
Leo Gilbert "Short Churros" Mole Bells Quartz Crystals
Adaline Leonard Veterinarian Notes Water
Xavier West Teacher Gym Memberships Balloons
Grant Reid Counselor Glass Death

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).