The Director Welcomes You

The Tattoo Silence Incident

#332a65

Location

Warm, Wet Dominica

Time of Day

10:18

Extraction Point

189 Miles E

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Bullet all-seeing eye" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "An out of place door appears at the Seven Dead". We need you to eliminate them, Keenly. Their last known location was recorded at 02:20. You have a Clandestine Lighter as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hudson Williamson

Alias

"Bullet all-seeing eye"

Features

6' 9"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The League of Embarrassed Kiss

Emotions

Disappointed

Personality

Keenly Uneven

Motive

Make a lot of money for honor

Bodyguard

David the "Raspy Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Cool Castle

Archaic Masquerade

Ice Park

Random Events

Midwife Gets their hand chopped off

Bag of Lemons Attempts to rob a bank

VAT of Broth Is hurled at the adventurers

Bag of Flour strikes the ground

World

Stores

Giovanni's Doorway Mall

Becker's Goblet Chic Chåteau

Gray's Spice shelf Emporium

Buchanan's Goblet Creative

Traps

Portcullis

Ceiling Pendulum of Silence

Objects

Doorway that is glowing

Spice shelf that has been hollowed out

Secret Goblet

Hidden Cutlass

Ring of Silence

Wand of Wonder

Caster has a cumulative 1% chance daily to be eaten by a dragon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Amaya Becker "Italian Noses" Merchant Cartography Gym Memberships
Genevieve Gray "Short Arms" Mole Teeth Boxes
Arya Harvey Musician Rubber Stamps Potatoes
Giovanni Price Engineer Cookies Sharks
Kaiden Buchanan Exhausted Sharp Things Peanut Butter

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).