The Director Welcomes You

The Plumwine Competency Incident

#a3eb20

Location

Frigid, Gorgeous Philippines

Time of Day

15:50

Extraction Point

184 Miles SE

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside approach a Overpopulated Festival . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Little Porpoises" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A thick fog rolls in at the Where grass will not grow". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Colorful Boot hidden on you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Delilah Gregory

Alias

"Little Porpoises"

Features

7' 4"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Right thumb

Organization

The Committee of Affluent Quarter

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Tenderly Disruptive

Motive

Make a lot of money to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Disruptive Abominable Snowman"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Sweet Chateau

Bustling Manor

Peace Port

Random Events

Bum scurries by

Corncob catches on fire

Cauldron explodes

Odor Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Avery's Hose Chic Chåteau

McKinney's Pipe Mall

Hart's Goblet Wardrobe

Pena's Kitchen knife Cosmetics

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Ceiling Pendulum of Competency

Objects

Hose with a False bottom

Goblet made of heavy metal

Secret Pipe

Hidden Newspaper

Greaves of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Caster finds a potion that can instill zealous religious fervor

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Tristan McKinney "Casual Legs" Merchant Butterflies Houses
Cameron Hart "Obese Forearms" Mole Bracelets Physics
Margaret Park Midwife Chocolate Squirrels
Avery Yang Funeral Director Jazz Washing Machines
Alexis Pena Zestful Rubber Stamps Pillows

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).