The Director Welcomes You

The Questionably Thousands Agent

#9e9dea

Location

Warm, Calm Malaysia

Time of Day

0:53

Extraction Point

99 Miles E

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to the top of a Ancient Spring to look for a suspect by the name "Casual Hobgoblin". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A thick fog rolls in at the graveyard".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Dull Bicycle in your kit to help.

β€” The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Miles Leon

Alias

"Casual Hobgoblin"

Features

7' 7"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The Society of Gentle Existence

Emotions

Uncomfortable

Personality

Questionably Dangerous

Motive

Make a lot of money for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Zealous Centaur"

Physical Size

Young

Story

Additional Locations

The Thousands Sanctuary

Expensive Lake

Bitterness Barn Dance

Random Events

Gunshot Lunges at the group

Horse Carriage emerges

Herd of Chicken Strikes the church bell

Safe Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Grace's Vanity Logistics

Horton's Cabinet Arcade

Norton's Statue Threads

Conner's Ceramic Crock Hole

Traps

Bear Trap

Fireball of Obsession

Objects

Vanity that is glowing

Statue that has been hollowed out

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Rapier

Ring of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Target is certain that he’s as fragile as glass

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Grant Horton "Dull Falafels" Merchant Candles Physics
Daniel Norton "Chunky Forearms" Mole Tigers Butterflies
Ezekiel Rivera Judge Drinking Mirrors
Grace Chavez Geologist Singing Television
Jordyn Conner Geologist Money Flowers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).