The Director Welcomes You

Chic Chåteau Royale

#229c58

Location

Icy, Gloomy Brazil

Time of Day

1:7

Extraction Point

73 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Spy Deputies,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Bench that is glowing. Get to Brazil at 17:17

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Layla Stone

Alias

"Short Gargoyle"

Features

5' 10"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Right eye

Organization

The Bureau of Purple Temperature

Emotions

Overwhelmed

Personality

Excitedly Zealous

Motive

Take over a government to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Ali the "Panicky Elves"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Cool Pond

Overpopulated Business

Exuberance Maze

Random Events

Majestic Painting Spontaneously disintegrates

Prostitute Bursts loudly

Vagrant gathers near a point of interest

Hound screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Luna's Bench Chic Chåteau

Reynolds's Musical instrument Logistics

Berry's Trunk Discount

Caldwell's Goblet Discount

Traps

Burning Hands

Reverse Gravity of Purity

Objects

Bench that is glowing

Trunk with a False bottom

Secret Musical instrument

Hidden Spikes

Dagger of Purity

Wand of Wonder

Caster has ten thumbs instead of fingers

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jackson Reynolds "Drowsy Cheesecakes" Merchant Deodorant Cousins
Waylon Berry "Wild Pastrami's" Mole Drinking Jazz
Jose Nunez Shadow Chocolate Balloons
Luna Osborne Accountant Boxes Dinosaurs
Amir Caldwell Surgeon Technology Batteries

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).