The Director Welcomes You

Who is Frankie Lunch?

#e49661

Location

Sunny, Gloomy Bangladesh

Time of Day

2:43

Extraction Point

55 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

19 Hours

Meddlers,
We need your help. Agent Kingston McGee has gone missing and we believe "Quiet Armadillo" is responsible. They were last seen in Bangladesh at 06:21. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Skull shaped island". Take this Sharp Baking Tray - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kylie Bowers

Alias

"Quiet Armadillo"

Features

4' 10"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Brotherhood of Spoiled Scoundrel

Emotions

Envious

Personality

Slowly Intelligent

Motive

Make a lot of money because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Deep Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Gigantic Reef

Pitch Black Tower

Silence Jungle

Random Events

Mutant skins a cat with his teeth

Turtle overflows

Nearby Gas Tank Bursts loudly

Sewer Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Anastasia's Sconce Outlet

James's Pair of Statues Du jour

Meyer's Workbench Cosmetics

McGee's Toolbox Ventures

Traps

Blade Barrier

Falling Block of Destiny

Objects

Sconce children's replica

Workbench made of heavy metal

Secret Pair of Statues

Hidden Arrows

Sticks of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

Target reacts violently to anyone who offers him food or water

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Leah James "Big Arms" Merchant Potatoes Limes
Emily Meyer "Obese Ankles" Mole Houses Soda
Zayden Carroll Railroad Conductor Tissues Octopus
Anastasia Wallace Secretary Television Candy
Kingston McGee Surveyor Rock n' Roll Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).