The Director Welcomes You

The Sasquatch Instability Protocol

#0c72e5

Location

Dark, Foggy Thailand

Time of Day

0:58

Extraction Point

133 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Meddlers,
I have sent you to approach a Rundown Festival to look for a suspect by the name "Cheap Kaiju". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A black cat runs past at the witch's mound".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Mechanical Level in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alyssa Stanley

Alias

"Cheap Kaiju"

Features

5' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Right arm

Organization

The Incorporated of Wrong Kick

Emotions

Relieved

Personality

Justly Red

Motive

Disrupt the military for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Emily the "Intelligent Goblins"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Dazzling Mansion

Abandoned Peninsula

Obsession Lake

Random Events

Pine Branch scurries by

Crow is robbed

Alligator arrives in the mail

Crow explodes

World

Stores

Ayden's Potted Plant Bazaar

Ayala's Picture Frame Productions

Chapman's Portrait Arcade

Hunt's Window Ventures

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Poison Wall Spikes of Instability

Objects

Potted Plant with a False bottom

Portrait children's replica

Secret Picture Frame

Hidden Newspaper

Staff of Instability

Wand of Wonder

Target has an overpowering fear of other members of his race

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ariana Ayala "Five Matzo Balls" Merchant Basketball Bread
Grant Chapman "Plump Bagels" Mole Death Writers
Angelina Yang Butcher Fire Rubber Stamps
Ayden Martinez Musician Doves Rubber Bands
Audrey Hunt Restless Children's Stories Syrup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).