The Director Welcomes You

The Ultimately Salty Agent

#d895c5

Location

Bright, Wet Libya

Time of Day

9:32

Extraction Point

96 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Examiners,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Wardrobe that has been hollowed out. Get to Libya at 18:02

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gracie Pope

Alias

"Fat Sprite"

Features

7' 2"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Right hand

Organization

The Council of Disgusting Faucet

Emotions

Excited

Personality

Ultimately Bumpy

Motive

Make a lot of money for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Deep Alien"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Salty Maze

Expensive House

Vulnerability Spring

Random Events

Renaissance Faire screams at the top of their lungs

Druid Is frozen into a block of ice

Ninja approaches

Deadbeat Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Charlie's Wardrobe Couture

Chambers's Quill and Ink Convenience store

Reed's Tapestry Solutions

Jimenez's Quill and Ink Productions

Traps

Suspicious door with lock

Arrow of Death

Objects

Wardrobe that has been hollowed out

Tapestry that is glowing

Secret Quill and Ink

Hidden Spikes

Blindfold of Death

Wand of Wonder

All vegetation within 10 miles tastes like manure when cooked

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Easton Chambers "Three Waffles" Merchant Sharp Things Quartz Crystals
Michelle Reed "Yellow Kidneys" Mole Water Rubber Bands
Easton Cobb Architect Sponges Lions
Charlie Jacobs Professional Bridesmaid Jigsaw Puzzles Rock n' Roll
Benjamin Jimenez Barber Sharks Squirrels

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).