The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Extensive Equipment

#0c82c7

Location

Icy, Miserable Canada

Time of Day

19:39

Extraction Point

178 Miles W

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Eyeballs,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Archaic Jungle . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Black Bat" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the Seven Dead". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clandestine Vise hidden on you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Miguel Butler

Alias

"Black Bat"

Features

6' 10"

Red eyes

A second belly button / Left arm

Organization

The Task Force of Baked Pie

Emotions

Disturbed

Personality

Unabashedly Clever

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Tony the "Baked Imp"

Physical Size

Immense

Story

Additional Locations

The Extensive House

Desolate Sanctuary

Competency Masquerade

Random Events

Demon is being loudly arrested

Rustler runs over an infant

Bunny Is accused by the law

Carcass Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Luke's Pair of Statues Wardrobe

Warren's Sculpture Creative

Campos's Fire poker set Worldwide

Holland's Creeping Vines Industries

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Poison Wall Spikes of Obsession

Objects

Pair of Statues that is glowing

Fire poker set with a False bottom

Secret Sculpture

Hidden Katana

Spikes of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Target’s skin is permanently crisscrossed with fine lines

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Elizabeth Warren "Black Livers" Merchant Houses Deodorant
Khloe Campos "Sharp Bagels" Mole Trucks Bracelets
Bryce Thomas Dentist Snowglobes Television
Luke Mendoza Psychiatrist Chickens Slippers
Grace Holland Cobbler Rabbits Plushies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).