The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Sharp Heroin

#ea1ed2

Location

Miserable, Windy Norway

Time of Day

11:32

Extraction Point

80 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Meddlers,
We need your help. Agent Alexandra Buchanan has gone missing and we believe "Fast Pheonix" is responsible. They were last seen in Norway at 07:11. The agent sent one final message – "A roll of thunder at the Painted Sands". Take this Rusty Paint Brush - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eleanor Holland

Alias

"Fast Pheonix"

Features

5' 6"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Left foot

Organization

The Crew of Rough Wiener

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Kissingly Abundant

Motive

Take over a government to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Donald the "Brave Elves"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Sharp Crypt

Expensive Castle

Passion Castle

Random Events

Renaissance Faire Protests

Thief Is frozen into a block of ice

Renaissance Faire Is being kidnapped

Box of Cigarette Ignites violently

World

Stores

Emmett's Iron stove Discount

Ellis's Rug Bazaar

Brewer's Large book Warehouse

Buchanan's Oil Lamp Closet

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Symbol of Hypnosis of The Blackest Black

Objects

Iron stove that has been hollowed out

Large book children's replica

Secret Rug

Hidden Lipstick

Helmet of The Blackest Black

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby turns to a heap of gold dust

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Audrey Ellis "Mad Toes" Merchant Candy Trucks
Elise Brewer "Black Pastrami's" Mole Jazz Money
Nevaeh Wells Artist Bells Quartz Crystals
Emmett Saunders Firefighter Octopus Painting
Alexandra Buchanan Railroad Conductor Bracelets Socks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).