The Director Welcomes You

Discount Royale

#6488d9

Location

Cloudless, Hot Ghana

Time of Day

7:2

Extraction Point

44 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Alejandro Terry has gone missing and we believe "Orange Pixie" is responsible. They were last seen in Ghana at 01:16. The agent sent one final message – "A pool of blood at the hive". Take this Clandestine Nuts and Bolts - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kai Lyons

Alias

"Orange Pixie"

Features

4' 1"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The company of Wonderful Desire

Emotions

Distrusting

Personality

Solidly Bumpy

Motive

Take over a country to save humanity

Bodyguard

George the "Delightful Gremlin"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Plain Reef

Rundown Arcade

Fire Suburbs

Random Events

Amulet is heard screaming

Gallon of Trash runs over an infant

Pine Branch Bounces oddly

Husband Protests

World

Stores

Brianna's Letter Opener Discount

Hopkins's crutch Group

Hampton's Loveseat Labs

Terry's Desk Productions

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Dropping Ceiling of Irritation

Objects

Letter Opener made of heavy metal

Loveseat that has been hollowed out

Secret crutch

Hidden Book

Hatchet of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Caster henceforth needs only one-third the normal amount of food

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cooper Hopkins "Fast Toes" Merchant Whipped Cream Dice
Ivy Hampton "Wild Parmigianas" Mole Bracelets Butterflies
Matteo Cohen Broker Teeth Bread
Brianna Riley Cosmetologist Shirts Glitter
Alejandro Terry Engineer Oranges Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).