The Director Welcomes You

Collective Royale

#cc20b2

Location

Breezy, Dark Equatorial Guinea

Time of Day

21:14

Extraction Point

196 Miles W

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Scrutinizers,
It seems "Small Banshee" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for food at the Rainbow Mountain". We need you to eliminate them, Vainly. Their last known location was recorded at 24:03. You have a Robotic Calculator as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Everett Garza

Alias

"Small Banshee"

Features

4' 9"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Right arm

Organization

The Fraternity of Repulsive Church

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Vainly Juicy

Motive

Make a lot of money to become famous

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Fat Roc"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Bad Forest

Rundown Pond

Cleanliness Citadel

Random Events

Jug of Peanut Butter meets disaster

Vagabond Is being detained

Swarm of Bees drops from the sky

Transport meets disaster

World

Stores

Noah's Tea Set Collective

Bush's Pair of Statues Factory

Burgess's Letter Opener Department store

Baldwin's Brass Replica Atelier

Traps

Portcullis

Flooded Corridor of Fragility

Objects

Tea Set made of heavy metal

Letter Opener children's replica

Secret Pair of Statues

Hidden Blindfold

Lighter of Fragility

Wand of Wonder

Caster can’t use the spell that triggered this Burst for one year

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ivan Bush "Quiet Legs" Merchant Octopus Notes
Kingston Burgess "One Scars" Mole Sponges Soccer
Adrian Hanson Flirty Contracts Chalk
Noah Ross Architect Bears Rock n' Roll
Carson Baldwin Lawyer Physics Glitter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).