The Director Welcomes You

The Elegant Leg Conundrum

#54eb15

Location

Cloudless, Hot Turkey

Time of Day

22:4

Extraction Point

31 Miles W

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Investigators,
It seems "Right Gnome" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "A shrine is nearby at the Dead Forest". We need you to eliminate them, Vaguely. Their last known location was recorded at 03:21. You have a Explosive Lighter as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nicholas Rodriguez

Alias

"Right Gnome"

Features

4' 2"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Company of Gentle Poodle

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Vaguely Helpful

Motive

Make a lot of money in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Sam the "Helpless Spirit"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Elegant Business

Polluted Villa

Silence City

Random Events

Herd of Chicken catches on fire

Buccaneer Is hurled at the adventurers

Spice Box drops from the sky

Jug of Peanut Butter is heard screaming

World

Stores

John's Paperweight Properties

Warner's Crate Department store

Gregory's Barrel Labs

Logan's Sofa Mall

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Acid Arrow of Disaster

Objects

Paperweight with a False bottom

Barrel that has been hollowed out

Secret Crate

Hidden Gauntlet

Javelins of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

Target has a +5 Armor Class bonus until sunset tomorrow

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Delilah Warner "Violet Kidneys" Merchant Glitter Syrup
Jace Gregory "Italian Forearms" Mole Paper Sailboats
Alejandro Peterson Animator Robots Scarves
John Peterson Chef Technology Butterflies
Tucker Logan Frazzled Cellphones Flowers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).