The Director Welcomes You

The Ubiquitous Bird Cliffhanger

#fc9bdf

Location

Mild, Overcast Saint Kitts and Nevis

Time of Day

2:59

Extraction Point

119 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
It seems "King Camel" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "The earth shakes briefly at the giants footsteps". We need you to eliminate them, Safely. Their last known location was recorded at 17:17. You have a Feminine Quilt as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Christian Schroeder

Alias

"King Camel"

Features

7' 8"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Left eye

Organization

The Sorority of Breezy Year

Emotions

Tender

Personality

Safely Recessive

Motive

Disrupt the military justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Evasive Owl"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Ubiquitous Spring

Overpopulated Castle

Instability Isle

Random Events

Crying Child scurries by

German Trench Club chase a suspect

Bag of Lemons Is frozen into a block of ice

Crazy Man emerges

World

Stores

Kingston's Diary Specialities

Patterson's Faberge Egg Factory

Maldonado's Glass Jars Worldwide

Bailey's Urn Productions

Traps

Acid Fog

Tripping Chain of Bliss

Objects

Diary that has been hollowed out

Glass Jars that is glowing

Secret Faberge Egg

Hidden Sabre

Lipstick of Bliss

Wand of Wonder

Caster flies into a murderous rage and attacks his nearest ally

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emily Patterson "No Churros" Merchant Essential Oils Children's Stories
Madison Maldonado "Gross Eyes" Mole Robots Drinking
Charlie Sharp Sad Easter Notes
Kingston Ayala Farmer Stickers Bells
Esther Bailey Veterinarian Eggs Boxes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).