The Director Welcomes You

Earthquake, Gun, Hate, Spy.

#8fc714

Location

Foul, Dark Mauritius

Time of Day

19:31

Extraction Point

173 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Ashley Parsons has gone missing and we believe "White Gnome" is responsible. They were last seen in Mauritius at 16:18. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the hive". Take this Clean Quilt - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hudson Hanson

Alias

"White Gnome"

Features

6' 4"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Left thumb

Organization

The Order of Juicy Hate

Emotions

Insulted

Personality

Scarcely Dead

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Shy Leech"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Bad Chateau

Deserted Isle

Silence Pond

Random Events

Butter Shipment Gets their hand chopped off

Dancer gathers near a point of interest

Baker stop the party and asks questions

Sewer scurries by

World

Stores

John's Hatrack Convenience store

Andrews's Goblet Labs

Wood's Counter Specialities

Parsons's Kitchen knife Closet

Traps

Burning Hands

Floor Net of Peace

Objects

Hatrack that has been hollowed out

Counter that is glowing

Secret Goblet

Hidden Sticks

Bottle of Peace

Wand of Wonder

Target’s weapon causes its wielder to be Slowed during melee

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Joshua Andrews "Junior Scars" Merchant Soccer Television
Ryan Wood "Slow Brains" Mole Squirrels Acorns
Eleanor Vazquez Cranky Horses Cellphones
John Wallace Lawyer Snowglobes Attention
Ashley Parsons Tailor Rock n' Roll Washing Machines

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).