The Director Welcomes You

The Hole Secrecy Protocol

#5ecab0

Location

Cloudless, Arid El Salvador

Time of Day

15:20

Extraction Point

150 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Ivy Garner has gone missing and we believe "Dull gorgon" is responsible. They were last seen in El Salvador at 11:23. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Dragon's Sea". Take this Delicate Flute - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Natalia Montgomery

Alias

"Dull gorgon"

Features

7' 6"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Right arm

Organization

The Bureau of Dirty Balloon

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Thankfully Deep

Motive

Take over a country to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Disruptive Rabbit"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Pervasive Acropolis

Rundown Palace

Fury City

Random Events

Thief Is being kidnapped

Deadbeat Salutes the adventurers

Soup Is under a curse

Rhapsody skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Hudson's Marionette Du jour

Carr's Brass Replica Bureau

Matthews's Spare brick International

Garner's Shirt Industries

Traps

Poison Needle

Ghoul Touch of Secrecy

Objects

Marionette made of heavy metal

Spare brick that is glowing

Secret Brass Replica

Hidden Chastity Belt

Coif of Secrecy

Wand of Wonder

The ground now at target’s feet turns to molten glass

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Andrea Carr "Stiff Elbows" Merchant Lipstick Tissues
Ivy Matthews "Three Feet" Mole Pillows Tissues
Samantha Kim Consultant Rubber Bands Cooking
Hudson Bates Dentist Doves Ice Cubes
Ivy Garner Hairdresser Bells Sailboats

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).