The Director Welcomes You

Who is Sam Area?

#e98664

Location

Bright, Dark Lithuania

Time of Day

21:1

Extraction Point

81 Miles S

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Owen Gordon has gone missing and we believe "Obese Leech" is responsible. They were last seen in Lithuania at 23:00. The agent sent one final message – "The earth shakes briefly at the Grey Hollow". Take this Robotic Blaser - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Benjamin Morrison

Alias

"Obese Leech"

Features

6' 10"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Right foot

Organization

The Bunch of Oafish Mouth

Emotions

Envious

Personality

Limply Howling

Motive

Take over a country to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Sam the "Pre-Pubescent Centaur"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Icy Palace

Hidden Park

Redemption Manor

Random Events

Box of Cigarette Is being detained

Musical Strikes the church bell

Musical scurries by

Musical chase a suspect

World

Stores

Edward's Fruit Bowl Chic Chåteau

Hall's Suit of armor Bazaar

Johnson's Staircase Supermarket

Gordon's Lamp Hole

Traps

Ice lock

Ray of Sickness of Ruin

Objects

Fruit Bowl that has been hollowed out

Staircase with a False bottom

Secret Suit of armor

Hidden Goblet

Wrench of Ruin

Wand of Wonder

If target is wearing armor, it turns invisible

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Peyton Hall "Obese Feet" Merchant Cookies Soup
Bentley Johnson "Mini Knuckles" Mole Sun Glasses Hamsters
Claire Turner Vision Sun Glasses Houses
Edward Kennedy Bounty hunter Deodorant Essential Oils
Owen Gordon Musician Basketball Essential Oils

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).