The Director Welcomes You

The Bumpy Breasts Quest

#e2272e

Location

Warm, Hot Paraguay

Time of Day

1:42

Extraction Point

140 Miles S

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Snoopers,
As you can see you are trapped inside approach a Hidden Barn Dance . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Green Wraith" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Ghost Town". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Bulbous Baking Tray hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Daisy Conner

Alias

"Green Wraith"

Features

6' 8"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The Committee of Cocky Zipper

Emotions

Sympathy

Personality

Clearly Dilligent

Motive

Disrupt the military to become the best

Bodyguard

Carl the "Brutish Platypuses"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Bumpy Arcade

Touristy Carnival

Grave Consequences House

Random Events

Deadbeat explodes

Crowd Glistens gently

Water Vessel Is throwing a protest

Amulet Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Kimberly's Sofa Arcade

Lindsey's Brass Replica Ventures

Carroll's Candelabra Creative

Salazar's Staircase Bazaar

Traps

Scything Blade

Compacting Room of Prosperity

Objects

Sofa that has been hollowed out

Candelabra that is glowing

Secret Brass Replica

Hidden Boomerang

Shield of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

Innumerable glowing orbs emerge from the target point

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Leilani Lindsey "Nice Cappuccinos" Merchant Gym Memberships Horses
Katherine Carroll "Silver Lox" Mole Broccoli Peanut Butter
Christopher Gill Phantom Sailboats Whipped Cream
Kimberly Lang Cosmetologist Ice Cubes Rubber Bands
Valeria Salazar Ghost Eggs Teeth

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).