The Director Welcomes You

The Utterly Endemic Agent

#398a9a

Location

Cloudy, Wet Canada

Time of Day

16:54

Extraction Point

46 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Scrutinizers,
As you can see you are trapped inside be locked inside of a Touristy Shelter . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Junior kobold" is responsible and they sent us this message - "Clouds develop quickly at the witch's mound". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Sharp Newspaper hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Laila Thompson

Alias

"Junior kobold"

Features

5' 11"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Right foot

Organization

The Firm of Mango Mustard

Emotions

Self-conscious

Personality

Utterly Squeaking

Motive

Make a lot of money to save humanity

Bodyguard

Donald the "Bumpy Roc"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Endemic Island

Deserted Manor

Weakness Palace

Random Events

Amulet Balances on a ledge

Spice Box Bursts loudly

Bard Is under a curse

Hound Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Serenity's Spice shelf Threads

Barton's Oil Lamp Bazaar

Hanson's Cabinet Specialities

Duncan's Tea Pot Unlimited

Traps

Rolling Rock

Symbol of Hypnosis of Oblivion

Objects

Spice shelf children's replica

Cabinet that has been hollowed out

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Arrows

Watch of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

Target thinks that he can control the caster for 1d6 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Maximus Barton "Little Eyes" Merchant Trees Hammers
Aurora Hanson "Stiff Elbows" Mole Oranges Sponges
August Dixon Exhilarated Flashlights Christmas
Serenity Reynolds Lawyer Sharks Dice
Harrison Duncan Firefighter Cookies Horses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).