The Director Welcomes You

Quality, Crane, Tampon, Spy.

#2ae4ef

Location

Sunny, Sunny United States

Time of Day

18:20

Extraction Point

102 Miles E

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Parker Juarez has gone missing and we believe "Indigo Banshee" is responsible. They were last seen in United States at 03:12. The agent sent one final message – "An out of place door appears at the witch's mound". Take this Sharp Cake - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Madison Lawson

Alias

"Indigo Banshee"

Features

7' 2"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Right middle finger

Organization

The Brotherhood of Boned Tampon

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Strictly Filthy

Motive

Disrupt the military to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Darnell the "Dire Meerkat"

Physical Size

Shrimpy

Story

Additional Locations

The Derogatory Creek

Crowded Manor

Good Spirits Circus

Random Events

Rustler Balances on a ledge

Alligator Is accused by the law

Amulet Is being detained

Bard Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Henry's Urn Threads

Page's Certificate Group

Wheeler's Wardrobe Department store

Juarez's Telescope Productions

Traps

Portcullis

Arrow of Redemption

Objects

Urn that is glowing

Wardrobe children's replica

Secret Certificate

Hidden Targe

Lighter of Redemption

Wand of Wonder

Rats and similar vermin are drawn to this area in great numbers

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Stella Page "Italian Feet" Merchant Shirts Baseball
Abel Wheeler "King Hot Dogs" Mole Cookies Ice Cubes
Ellie Figueroa Professional Cuddler Candy Scarves
Henry Newton Operator Bread Eggs
Parker Juarez Hotel Manager Trucks Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).