The Director Welcomes You

The Ubiquitous Pollution Pilgrimmage

#798035

Location

Sunny, Gorgeous Cyprus

Time of Day

11:23

Extraction Point

94 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Ellie Graves has gone missing and we believe "Short Bigfoot" is responsible. They were last seen in Cyprus at 17:14. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a random cow at the Great Shadow". Take this Light Purse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Declan Fletcher

Alias

"Short Bigfoot"

Features

6' 3"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Board of Drab Leash

Emotions

Concern

Personality

Quarrelsomely Surrogate

Motive

Make a lot of money to become the best

Bodyguard

Juan the "Squirrelly Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Ubiquitous Manor

Touristy Manor

Obsession Citadel

Random Events

Husband Catches leprosy

Fairy Lunges at the group

Horse Carriage Lunges at the group

Jug of Peanut Butter Bursts loudly

World

Stores

Zayden's Notebook Atelier

Molina's Candle Technologies

Edwards's Bench Specialities

Graves's Cutting board Couture

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Insanity Mist Vapor of Sanitation

Objects

Notebook made of heavy metal

Bench children's replica

Secret Candle

Hidden Newspaper

Cat of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

For 1d10 rounds, any spells cast nearby turn their casters yellow

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jesus Molina "Short Pinky's" Merchant Chickens Soccer
Lydia Edwards "One Lox" Mole Essential Oils Potatoes
Isaac Carter Electrician Hammers Physics
Zayden Duran Electrician Chalk Comic Books
Ellie Graves Architect Comic Books Cartography

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).