The Director Welcomes You

Convenience store Royale

#11ab64

Location

Arid, Rainy Cambodia

Time of Day

24:42

Extraction Point

38 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Rundown Citadel . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "All Sea Lion" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A white horse dashes past at the Skull shaped island". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Delicate Hot Glue Gun hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Dean Ramirez

Alias

"All Sea Lion"

Features

6' 11"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Left eye

Organization

The Crew of Ruminating Dirigible

Emotions

Sympathy

Personality

Furiously Contemporary

Motive

Take over a country to become the best

Bodyguard

James the "Tasteless Banshee"

Physical Size

Sizable

Story

Additional Locations

The Broad Forest

Abandoned Creek

Casualties Acropolis

Random Events

Procession Glistens gently

Rhapsody approaches

Princess Becomes wounded

Chunk of Beef Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Vivian's Urn Convenience store

Ross's Notebook Closet

Daniels's Mantle Technologies

Griffin's Globe Technologies

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Beehive of Disaster

Objects

Urn made of heavy metal

Mantle that is glowing

Secret Notebook

Hidden Throwing Dart

Bow of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

Target’s knees and elbows can’t straighten to more than 120°

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Maximus Ross "Obese Livers" Merchant Christmas Bread
Angel Daniels "Heavy Boy" Mole Coffee Scarves
Reese Crawford Plumber Writers Chickens
Vivian Richardson Townsfolk Glitter Water
Brandon Griffin Electrician Cartography Shirts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).