The Director Welcomes You

The Moon Contentment Incident

#6a432e

Location

Humid, Calm Tuvalu

Time of Day

19:51

Extraction Point

36 Miles SW

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Medallion children's replica. Get to Tuvalu at 19:05

Good Luck.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Dominic Leonard

Alias

"Dull Hedgehogs"

Features

5' 2"

Green eyes

Small mole / Left arm

Organization

The Order of Melted Parking Lot

Emotions

Concern

Personality

Dearly Insolent

Motive

Take over a country for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Peter the "Powerful Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Yellow Spring

Expensive Park

Well-being Grove

Random Events

Mutant Calls menacingly

German Trench Club chase a suspect

Biscuit Ignites violently

Musical overflows

World

Stores

Sebastian's Medallion Closet

Cook's Statue Group

Swanson's Bureau Market

Wheeler's Barrel Labs

Traps

Flame Strike

Hail of Needles of Contentment

Objects

Medallion children's replica

Bureau made of heavy metal

Secret Statue

Hidden Guthook

Morning Star of Contentment

Wand of Wonder

If caster is carrying any coins, he develops an allergy to gold

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gavin Cook "Three Toes" Merchant Money Lions
Anna Swanson "Bullet Hearts" Mole Mirrors Washing Machines
Vivian Roberts Demon Socks Soda
Sebastian Murray Angry Easter Stickers
Gabriella Wheeler Dentist Stickers Limes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).