The Director Welcomes You

The Medium Delirium Protocol

#ed0335

Location

Stormy, Calm Israel

Time of Day

13:54

Extraction Point

122 Miles E

Time to Complete

17 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside climb a Touristy Masquerade . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Slow Worm" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A vagrant asks for food at the dancing-trees". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Vicious Blender hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

August Powell

Alias

"Slow Worm"

Features

6' 8"

Gray eyes

A second belly button / Left middle finger

Organization

The Office of Proud Clam

Emotions

Brave

Personality

Judgementally Young

Motive

Make a lot of money in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Randy the "Surly Elves"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Extensive Island

Rundown Circus

Annihilation Manor

Random Events

Vegetable Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Spectator Is getting confiscated

Bard grabs a lady's purse

Horse Carriage Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Kinsley's Key Industries

Edwards's Picture Frame Bureau

Schwartz's Landscape Specialities

Morris's Drawers Atelier

Traps

Falling Block

Acid Fog of Delirium

Objects

Key that is glowing

Landscape made of heavy metal

Secret Picture Frame

Hidden Chastity Belt

Polearm of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Next person to whom caster speaks mocks him outrageously

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Weston Edwards "Meaty Matzo Balls" Merchant Teeth Toilets
Sofia Schwartz "Little Cappuccinos" Mole Dolphins Singing
Everly Moran Exhausted Harmonica Sailboats
Kinsley Mclaughlin Consultant Attention Limes
John Morris Chief Executive Officer Technology Snowglobes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).