The Director Welcomes You

Outlet Royale

#8734bc

Location

Hot, Arid Sierra Leone

Time of Day

21:31

Extraction Point

167 Miles E

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to circle a Hidden Missile Launch Site to look for a suspect by the name "Mad Python". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to uncover their plans. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A roll of thunder at the Turtle Rock".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Soft Umbrella in your kit to help.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Carson Romero

Alias

"Mad Python"

Features

7' 6"

Green eyes

A second belly button / Left arm

Organization

The Unit of Mammoth Area

Emotions

Scornful

Personality

Cautiously Caustic

Motive

Take over a country for honor

Bodyguard

Billy the "Stoned Koalas"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Jagged Circus

Polluted Citadel

Fragility Port

Random Events

Box of Mice Spontaneously disintegrates

Drunk catches on fire

Delivery Guy runs over an infant

Druid stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Alexis's Bell Outlet

Collins's Telescope Wardrobe

Ortega's Pair of Statues Hole

Harvey's Medallion Collective

Traps

Wall Blade

Razor-Wire across Hallway of Optimism

Objects

Bell with a False bottom

Pair of Statues that has been hollowed out

Secret Telescope

Hidden Bangle

Pen of Optimism

Wand of Wonder

The tallest tree nearby burns to the ground in 1d4 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kinsley Collins "Three Brains" Merchant Jazz Glitter
Nathan Ortega "Gross Muscles" Mole Writers Sharp Things
Austin Farmer Veterinarian Notes Shirts
Alexis Ford Cranky Trucks Sailboats
Khloe Harvey Human Statue Robots Comic Books

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).