The Director Welcomes You

The Thimble Irritation Protocol

#c92040

Location

Dull, Miserable Cambodia

Time of Day

11:49

Extraction Point

132 Miles S

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Andrew Diaz has gone missing and we believe "Silver Wraith" is responsible. They were last seen in Cambodia at 14:21. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a random cow at the Wizard's Scar". Take this Bulbous Watch - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elizabeth Tyler

Alias

"Silver Wraith"

Features

7' 11"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Right middle finger

Organization

The Clique of Tinkling Piercing

Emotions

Grief-stricken

Personality

Enormously Creamy

Motive

Take over a government to be left alone

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Happy Banshee"

Physical Size

Immense

Story

Additional Locations

The Jolly Carnival

Deserted Grove

Endownment Spring

Random Events

Turtle Attempts to rob a bank

Pine Branch Spontaneously disintegrates

Musical Balances on a ledge

Meteor Bursts loudly

World

Stores

Anna's Butter Churner Logistics

Hunter's Wardrobe Arcade

Wilson's Rug Beauty Stop

Diaz's Armoir International

Traps

Javelin

Blade Barrier of Irritation

Objects

Butter Churner made of heavy metal

Rug made of heavy metal

Secret Wardrobe

Hidden Sickle

Rock of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Target’s arms are replaced by inert duplicates of his head

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isaiah Hunter "Drowsy Cappuccinos" Merchant Trees Hammers
Brooke Wilson "Junior Spleens" Mole Balloons Limes
Harmony Rice Physician Technology Horses
Anna Pierce Electrician Jazz Death
Andrew Diaz Cleaner Attention Tigers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).