The Director Welcomes You

The Chubby Mustard Pursuit

#6957f3

Location

Humid, Windless Fiji

Time of Day

16:45

Extraction Point

100 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Big Gargoyle" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for food at the Dead Forest". We need you to eliminate them, Correctly. Their last known location was recorded at 24:10. You have a Feminine Bandana as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Paisley Rivera

Alias

"Big Gargoyle"

Features

5' 8"

Green eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The Commission of Tragic Jam

Emotions

Lust

Personality

Correctly Prehistoric

Motive

Take over a country to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Jack the "Shitty Bat"

Physical Size

Toy

Story

Additional Locations

The Chubby Crypt

Bustling Chateau

Vulnerability Creek

Random Events

Alligator Adopts a nearby child

Whore Crashes slowly

Sewer grabs a lady's purse

Bag of Lemons catches on fire

World

Stores

Victoria's Desk Little shop

Collins's Sculpture Brothers

Diaz's Wingback chair Bazaar

Beck's Coat Du jour

Traps

Compacting Room

Insanity Mist Vapor of Delight

Objects

Desk made of heavy metal

Wingback chair that is glowing

Secret Sculpture

Hidden Whip

Notebook of Delight

Wand of Wonder

Target finds a blade that can’t be broken by any physical force

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Max Collins "Plump Bagels" Merchant Broccoli Rubber Stamps
Morris Diaz "Italian Legs" Mole Cousins Robots
Luca Chavez Farmer Squirrels Soap
Victoria Marshall Frazzled Robots Tissues
Adrian Beck Fortune Cookie Writer Technology Sticks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).