The Director Welcomes You

Cosmetics Royale

#43ba97

Location

Rainy, Cloudy Armenia

Time of Day

5:48

Extraction Point

48 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

16 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
As you can see you are trapped inside the inside of a Underground Barn Dance . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Three Gargoyle" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Grove of Weeping Willows". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Robotic Armchair hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Arya Fernandez

Alias

"Three Gargoyle"

Features

4' 7"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Right thumb

Organization

The Sisterhood of Empty Trade

Emotions

Defeated

Personality

Usually Slimey

Motive

Take over a country to please their master

Bodyguard

Simon the "Dank Platypuses"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Arid Spring

Desolate Maze

Excitement Shelter

Random Events

Dracula Is being tortured

Softball Spontaneously disintegrates

Box of Mice Lunges at the group

Drunk skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Matteo's Platter Cosmetics

Cummings's Tea Pot Closet

Duncan's Tea Set Consulting

Price's Painting International

Traps

Wall Blade

Floor Net of Grave Consequences

Objects

Platter that has been hollowed out

Tea Set that is glowing

Secret Tea Pot

Hidden Newspaper

Credit Card of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Anyone touching the target in the next turn suffers severe burns

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Finley Cummings "Stiff Forearms" Merchant Children's Stories Cellphones
Emmanuel Duncan "The Pretzels" Mole Toilets Sharks
Charlie Garza Athlete Deodorant Potatoes
Matteo Garrett Cosmetologist Comic Books Doves
Ryder Price Professional Cuddler Dolphins Singing

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).