The Director Welcomes You

Postoffice, Kick, Dirigible, Spy.

#7004a7

Location

Overcast, Arid Philippines

Time of Day

12:55

Extraction Point

77 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Examiners,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Touristy Castle to look for a suspect by the name "Mad Hobgoblin". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Ghost Town".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Vicious Ballpoint Pen in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Luna Kennedy

Alias

"Mad Hobgoblin"

Features

4' 7"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left thumb

Organization

The Firm of Loose Dirigible

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Politely Prominent

Motive

Make a lot of money out of greed

Bodyguard

Jack the "Invisible Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Fulsome Shelter

Overpopulated Castle

Influence Circus

Random Events

Skeleton scurries by

Hound approaches

Bottle of Soy Sauce chase a suspect

Water Vessel is robbed

World

Stores

Jayden's Quill and Ink Convenience store

Floyd's Large book Emporium

Mendez's Pocket watch Beauty Stop

Norman's Globe Department store

Traps

Rolling Rock

Acid Fog of Influence

Objects

Quill and Ink that is glowing

Pocket watch with a False bottom

Secret Large book

Hidden Key

Boomerang of Influence

Wand of Wonder

Caster is ravenously hungry after each battle

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Fiona Floyd "All Bagels" Merchant Soup Limes
Everett Mendez "Indigo Lungs" Mole Bread Cartography
William Hampton Pharmacist Chalk Acorns
Jayden Howell Banker Notes Chocolate
Lucas Norman Elder Chili Chocolate

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).