The Director Welcomes You

The Mohawk Fire Protocol

#aa02b6

Location

Dull, Cloudless Romania

Time of Day

1:47

Extraction Point

26 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Leilani Lambert has gone missing and we believe "All Imp" is responsible. They were last seen in Romania at 14:24. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Screaming Waterfall". Take this Explosive Bible - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jayce Fernandez

Alias

"All Imp"

Features

4' 5"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Sorority of Juicy Belief

Emotions

Cautious

Personality

Coolly Disruptive

Motive

Make a lot of money in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Robust Leprechaun"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Most Forge

Underwater Suburbs

Influence Chateau

Random Events

Chanting Cult Adopts a nearby child

Bank Bounces oddly

Box of Mice Is under a curse

Spectator Protests

World

Stores

Londyn's Flowers Growing Ventures

Parsons's Statue Brothers

Obrien's Bed Worldwide

Lambert's Clamp Chic Chåteau

Traps

Fireball

Wall Blade of Fire

Objects

Flowers Growing with a False bottom

Bed that is glowing

Secret Statue

Hidden Hatchet

Throwing Dart of Fire

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s next Summoning yields something wildly inappropriate

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Layla Parsons "Casual Hearts" Merchant Horses Limes
Camila Obrien "Sharp Stomachs" Mole Soda Paperclips
Julian Hale Animator Batteries Cats
Londyn Cohen Drunken Cooking Doors
Leilani Lambert Dentist Jigsaw Puzzles Clocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).