The Director Welcomes You

The Wooden Existence Situation

#97e653

Location

Bright, Gorgeous Vatican City

Time of Day

4:25

Extraction Point

64 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Meddlers,
As you can see you are trapped inside fly above a Bustling Private Jet plane . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Italian Troll" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the Top of the carousel wheel". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Vicious Boot hidden on you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayla Elliott

Alias

"Italian Troll"

Features

4' 1"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Left leg

Organization

The Agency of Abundant Development

Emotions

Insulted

Personality

Acidly Tertiary

Motive

Make a lot of money justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Peter the "Greasy Pheonix"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Wooden Business

Bustling Lake

Annihilation Grove

Random Events

Water Vessel overflows

Panhandler Is throwing a protest

Odor approaches

Nomad meets disaster

World

Stores

Jayce's Bicycle Logistics

Conner's Candelabra Factory

Ramsey's Bible Supermarket

Pham's Letter Opener Closet

Traps

Compacting Room

Extended Bane of Influence

Objects

Bicycle that has been hollowed out

Bible that has been hollowed out

Secret Candelabra

Hidden Necklace

Morning Star of Influence

Wand of Wonder

The spell discharges upon the next person nearby to draw blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Savannah Conner "Two Noses" Merchant Notes Essential Oils
David Ramsey "Orange Pretzels" Mole Jigsaw Puzzles Children's Stories
Gavin Mejia Operator Soda Quartz Crystals
Jayce Rogers Fortune Cookie Writer Glitter Rabbits
Leilani Pham Plumber Trucks Doors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).