The Director Welcomes You

The Baked Whip Quest

#5dfb0a

Location

Bright, Gloomy United States

Time of Day

3:1

Extraction Point

35 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Leah Dominguez has gone missing and we believe "Little Elves" is responsible. They were last seen in United States at 11:13. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a random cow at the Garden of Bears". Take this Beautiful Condom - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Anthony Acosta

Alias

"Little Elves"

Features

4' 5"

Heterochromia eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Association of Faint Trade

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Furiously Irrelevant

Motive

Take over a country because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Cheap Manticore"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Baked Park

Crowded Business

Skill Mansion

Random Events

Biscuit Adopts a nearby child

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is throwing a BBQ

Druid skins a cat with his teeth

Dancer Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Iris's Hose Technologies

Patterson's Bookcase Atelier

Ray's Mantle Mall

Dominguez's Shoe Horn Group

Traps

Poison Dart

Arrow of Death

Objects

Hose that is glowing

Mantle that is glowing

Secret Bookcase

Hidden Bow

Fork of Death

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s ears are burned from his head

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Wesley Patterson "Indigo Brains" Merchant Clocks Cellphones
Santiago Ray "Plump Toes" Mole Oranges Christmas
Aaron Lindsey Master Distiller Trucks Trucks
Iris Bishop Police Officer Sticks Deodorant
Leah Dominguez Animator Bears Sticky Notes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).