The Director Welcomes You

The Crown Grave Consequences Incident

#7f30f3

Location

Mild, Miserable Angola

Time of Day

21:51

Extraction Point

140 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Agents,
As you can see you are trapped inside approach a Deserted Chateau . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Wild Camel" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the Wizard's Scar". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clean Socks hidden on you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sofia Mueller

Alias

"Wild Camel"

Features

5' 6"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Right hand

Organization

The Council of Sinful Babies

Emotions

Regretful

Personality

Upward Spicy

Motive

Take over a government out of desperation

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Huge Dolphin"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Thoughtless Shelter

Underwater Crypt

Annihilation Mansion

Random Events

Crying Child strikes the ground

VAT of Broth Is throwing a protest

Prostitute Calls menacingly

Lactose Intolerance meets disaster

World

Stores

Charlotte's Armoir Little shop

Wolf's Workbench Hole

Waters's Shirt Unlimited

Craig's Vase Worldwide

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Poison Needle of Grave Consequences

Objects

Armoir that is glowing

Shirt that has been hollowed out

Secret Workbench

Hidden Book

Button of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Anyone nearby with an axe is suddenly carrying a lute or guitar

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Autumn Wolf "Indigo Pastrami's" Merchant Squirrels Glass
Emily Waters "Cramped Stomachs" Mole Coffee Fire
Nova Bauer Surveyor Pillows Comic Books
Charlotte Nunez Banker Drinking Lamps
Andrew Craig Accountant Soccer Death

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).