The Director Welcomes You

The Verbally Bankrupt Agent

#a63040

Location

Sunny, Mild Jordan

Time of Day

16:14

Extraction Point

71 Miles E

Time to Complete

39 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to within earshot of a Expensive Circus to look for a suspect by the name "Tough Armadillo". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Ancient Fountain".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Light Hammer in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Declan Moody

Alias

"Tough Armadillo"

Features

6' 5"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Crotch

Organization

The Sorority of Cooling Whip

Emotions

Defeated

Personality

Verbally Cool

Motive

Take over a government to become famous

Bodyguard

Juan the "Bruised Owlman"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Bankrupt Manor

Polluted Chateau

Downfall Business

Random Events

Beggar Skips merrily

Drunk is heard screaming

Reindeer approaches

Herd of Chicken Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Valentina's Stairwell Market

Walsh's Hat Properties

Goodwin's Painting Mall

Chen's Bottle Couture

Traps

Fireball

Bear Trap of Doom

Objects

Stairwell children's replica

Painting that is glowing

Secret Hat

Hidden Lance

Spear of Doom

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t be affected by the caster’s magic for 1d6 turns

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gael Walsh "Little Heels" Merchant Slippers Writers
Everett Goodwin "Silver Toes" Mole Butterflies Writers
Dawson Kelley Dog surfing instructor Chickens Paper
Valentina Wade Secretary Horses Cooking
Natalia Chen Graphic Designer Books Painting

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).