The Director Welcomes You

The Boots Competency Protocol

#cc7bc4

Location

Foggy, Warm Nepal

Time of Day

7:7

Extraction Point

95 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
As you can see you are trapped inside approach a Desolate Carousal . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Cramped Wendigo" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shrine is nearby at the ruined castle". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Vicious Tissues hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nicole Osborne

Alias

"Cramped Wendigo"

Features

7' 2"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Right middle finger

Organization

The Fraternity of Limited Chili

Emotions

Spiteful

Personality

Wholly Sparkling

Motive

Take over a government to become famous

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Massive Dragon"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Short Jungle

Hidden Acropolis

Prosperity Citadel

Random Events

Pine Branch emerges

Horse Carriage Is being tortured

Storm Calls menacingly

Dozen Eggs Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Grace's Pedestal Department store

Watson's Key Arcade

Stevenson's Vase Brothers

Wright's Faberge Egg Bureau

Traps

Rolling Rock

Ice lock of Competency

Objects

Pedestal with a False bottom

Vase that has been hollowed out

Secret Key

Hidden Blades

Morning Star of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Target finds a text that he wrote but doesn’t remember writing

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Finn Watson "Drowsy Bones" Merchant Water Harmonica
Vincent Stevenson "One Lungs" Mole Sharp Things Drinking
Isabelle Chapman Midwife Rocks Horses
Grace Thompson Fortune Cookie Writer Bracelets Sharp Things
Weston Wright Counselor Sponges Attention

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).