The Director Welcomes You

The Throat Catastrophe Incident

#fcd389

Location

Dull, Miserable Maldives

Time of Day

11:56

Extraction Point

166 Miles W

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Armoir that is glowing. Get to Maldives at 21:09

Good Luck.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Luca King

Alias

"Short Kangaroos"

Features

5' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Right eye

Organization

The Company of Billions Circus

Emotions

Afraid

Personality

Verbally Mastadonic

Motive

Take over a government for a love interest

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Surly all-seeing eye"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Freezing Maze

Bustling Creek

Power Arcade

Random Events

Carcass Integrates silently into the group

Bunny Bursts loudly

Squirrel Adopts a nearby child

Vagabond Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Madeline's Armoir Closet

Freeman's Trunk Closet

Rose's Lounge Chair Beauty Stop

Sparks's Skeletal Animal Emporium

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Poison Dart of Catastrophe

Objects

Armoir that is glowing

Lounge Chair made of heavy metal

Secret Trunk

Hidden Polearm

Collar of Catastrophe

Wand of Wonder

Next weapon drawn nearby makes its user’s foes invisible to him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Noah Freeman "Obese Throats" Merchant Television Water
Sawyer Rose "Little Legs" Mole Easter Batteries
Morris Barrett Talent agent Money Trees
Madeline Buchanan Chief Executive Officer Chocolate Essential Oils
Annabelle Sparks Elder Money Dolphins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).