The Director Welcomes You

The Surly Galley Secrecy

#4a8a46

Location

Dull, Dull Iceland

Time of Day

23:24

Extraction Point

172 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Archaic Fortress . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Mini Leprechaun" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a random cow at the Turtle Rock". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Explosive Ladder hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayla McGuire

Alias

"Mini Leprechaun"

Features

4' 10"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Sisterhood of Orange Goat

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Lazily Lazy

Motive

Disrupt the military to please their master

Bodyguard

Emily the "Rare Eel"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Surly Pond

Rundown Tower

Influence Palace

Random Events

Wedding Cake arrives in the mail

Hound catches on fire

Vagabond Calls menacingly

Goblet Is accused by the law

World

Stores

Elijah's Satchel Worldwide

Tate's Bible Warehouse

McCoy's Potted Plant Solutions

Price's Potted Plant Ventures

Traps

Fire

Beehive of Ice

Objects

Satchel that is glowing

Potted Plant that is glowing

Secret Bible

Hidden Nipple Clamp

Spikes of Ice

Wand of Wonder

Target is held personally responsible for some distant atrocity

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Carson Tate "Tough Hearts" Merchant Basketball Horses
Nolan McCoy "Yellow Cappuccinos" Mole Ice Cubes Honey
Londyn Rojas Elevator Mechanic Toilets Soccer
Elijah Holland Surveyor Bread Cartography
Julia Price Angry Octopus Technology

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).