The Director Welcomes You

The Fit Prince Expedition

#0e37b9

Location

Mild, Breezy Uzbekistan

Time of Day

13:8

Extraction Point

129 Miles N

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Daisy Harper has gone missing and we believe "Tough Dwarf" is responsible. They were last seen in Uzbekistan at 06:16. The agent sent one final message – "An out of place door appears at the Dead Forest". Take this Rusty Sun Lotion - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Joshua Duran

Alias

"Tough Dwarf"

Features

4' 6"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Department of Bad Ape

Emotions

Stunned

Personality

Officially Purring

Motive

Make a lot of money to control the Children

Bodyguard

Juan the "Bloody Yeti"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Fit Carnival

Hidden Carousal

Bravery Lake

Random Events

Majestic Painting arrives in the mail

Biscuit arrives in the mail

Vegetable Is under a curse

Potato is loose

World

Stores

Harper's Bicycle Outlet

Joseph's Large book Collective

Price's Tea Pot Creative

Harper's File Little shop

Traps

Blade Barrier

Phantasmal Killer of Amnesia

Objects

Bicycle with a False bottom

Tea Pot made of heavy metal

Secret Large book

Hidden Medallion

Sword of Amnesia

Wand of Wonder

Elementals Summoned in caster’s presence explode instantly

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Antonio Joseph "Sharp Brains" Merchant Photography Sticky Notes
Isabella Price "Yellow Bones" Mole Bracelets Sticky Notes
Mary Martinez Statistician Baseball Shirts
Harper Wolfe Animator Clocks Soda
Daisy Harper Stressed Limes Slippers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).