The Director Welcomes You

The Unsightly Donkey Riddle

#43d7f4

Location

Dull, Dry Turkey

Time of Day

8:1

Extraction Point

38 Miles S

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Eyeballs,
As you can see you are trapped inside fly above a Polluted Forest . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Drowsy Ogre" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a random cow at the graveyard". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Slippery Watch hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Easton Armstrong

Alias

"Drowsy Ogre"

Features

5' 6"

Green eyes

Small mole / Right foot

Organization

The Department of Flaky Voyage

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Mortally Wrong

Motive

Take over a country to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Bloody Zombie"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Unsightly Island

Underwater House

Competency Lake

Random Events

Storm Ignites violently

Goblet Calls menacingly

Milk Shipment scurries by

Spectator Glistens gently

World

Stores

Joel's Hanging Birdcage Du jour

Lloyd's Crate Outlet

Allen's Lipstick Warehouse

Spencer's Fireplace Labs

Traps

Large Net

Suspicious door with lock of Irritation

Objects

Hanging Birdcage children's replica

Lipstick made of heavy metal

Secret Crate

Hidden Banana

Chastity Belt of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Caster smells strongly of blood while he’s wet

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kaiden Lloyd "Junior Waffles" Merchant Contracts Honey
Elise Allen "Violet Lemons" Mole Contracts Soap
Evelyn Morris Bounty hunter Cats Drinking
Joel Alvarado Old Timer Plushies Lipstick
Richard Spencer Headhunter Potatoes Soup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).