The Director Welcomes You

The Safely Full Agent

#182e7f

Location

Dry, Cloudless Malaysia

Time of Day

20:48

Extraction Point

6 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Declan Yang has gone missing and we believe "Nice Elves" is responsible. They were last seen in Malaysia at 11:03. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Dead Forest". Take this Bulbous Camera - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Angelina Schneider

Alias

"Nice Elves"

Features

5' 9"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Right thumb

Organization

The Alliance of Ripe Zebra

Emotions

Disillusioned

Personality

Safely Prehensile

Motive

Take over a government to control the Children

Bodyguard

Roberto the "Hirsute Minotaur"

Physical Size

Teeny

Story

Additional Locations

The Full Manor

Desolate Park

Delirium Barn Dance

Random Events

Squirrel overflows

Pack of Wild Dogs stop the party and asks questions

Jug of Peanut Butter drops from the sky

Dracula approaches

World

Stores

Paisley's End Table Properties

Owen's Toolbox Atelier

Rhodes's Painting International

Yang's Notebook Warehouse

Traps

Fire

Fusillade of Darts of Casualties

Objects

End Table with a False bottom

Painting made of heavy metal

Secret Toolbox

Hidden Magazine

Shield of Casualties

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s face is printed with intricate, dark blue tattoos

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Andrea Owen "King Livers" Merchant Robots Chalk
Zion Rhodes "Italian Churros" Mole Lions Cats
Zayden Gregory Demon Potatoes Paper
Paisley Lane Acupuncturist Syrup Video Games
Declan Yang Fortune Cookie Writer Toilets Rubber Stamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).