The Director Welcomes You

The Growth Purity Incident

#874e8b

Location

Rainy, Cloudless Uzbekistan

Time of Day

8:48

Extraction Point

152 Miles SW

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Sleuths,
It seems "Obese Chimera" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the giants footsteps". We need you to eliminate them, Hopelessly. Their last known location was recorded at 05:05. You have a Heavy Socks as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alex Stevens

Alias

"Obese Chimera"

Features

6' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Right eye

Organization

The Unit of Straight Pool

Emotions

Overwhelmed

Personality

Hopelessly Prehensile

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Juan the "Creepy Mermaid"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Hyper City

Deserted City

Bliss Reef

Random Events

Transport Is hurled at the adventurers

Gallon of Trash Finds gold in the water

Box of Mice Lunges at the group

Fairy catches on fire

World

Stores

Greyson's Landscape Group

Matthews's Tapestry Beauty Stop

Baldwin's Tea Set Brothers

Swanson's Mounted Animal Properties

Traps

Large Net

Javelin of Purity

Objects

Landscape that is glowing

Tea Set that has been hollowed out

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Button

Greaves of Purity

Wand of Wonder

Caster discovers that one of his limbs belongs to someone else

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kennedy Matthews "Stiff Heels" Merchant Sharp Things Chickens
Jesus Baldwin "Sharp Pretzels" Mole Batteries Rubber Stamps
Alexander Blair Headhunter Bread Drinking
Greyson Flynn Phantom Singing Money
John Swanson Cobbler Water Octopus

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).