The Director Welcomes You

The Star Destiny Protocol

#90a3be

Location

Stormy, Foggy Micronesia, Federated States of

Time of Day

7:29

Extraction Point

99 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to underneathe a Desolate Circus to look for a suspect by the name "King Rabbit". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A black cat runs past at the Turtle Rock".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Robotic Boot in your kit to help.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Avery Fitzgerald

Alias

"King Rabbit"

Features

6' 1"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The Task Force of Icy Chili

Emotions

Exhausted

Personality

Vainly Wonderful

Motive

Take over a country out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Emily the "Good Fairy"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Wonderful Villa

Bustling Chateau

Extermination Citadel

Random Events

Chauvinist Adopts a nearby child

Bag of Flour runs over an infant

Butter Shipment Integrates silently into the group

Thief Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Sherri's Chaise Brothers

Gibbs's Bookcase Properties

Nelson's Diary Properties

Floyd's Key Solutions

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Poisoned Arrow of Destiny

Objects

Chaise that has been hollowed out

Diary with a False bottom

Secret Bookcase

Hidden Glasses

Frying Pan of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

Target’s torso and arms are invisible for 1d4 months

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kaylee Gibbs "Indigo Stomachs" Merchant Music Toilets
Emma Nelson "Slow Noses" Mole Slippers Bears
Lucia Carpenter Tailor Doors Easter
Sherri Brooks The Body Rubber Bands Fire
Maya Floyd Stressed Football Chocolate

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).