The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jackie Bait?

#25a9c0

Location

Icy, Cloudy Zambia

Time of Day

16:12

Extraction Point

99 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Operatives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Bonsai made of heavy metal. Get to Zambia at 09:16

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Annabelle Robbins

Alias

"One Pixie"

Features

5' 10"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left middle finger

Organization

The Department of Insidious Cheese

Emotions

Indifferent

Personality

Scarcely Polite

Motive

Take over a country to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Melted Mermaid"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Enlightened Barn Dance

Bustling Arcade

Instability Peninsula

Random Events

Transport Is being tortured

Biscuit screams at the top of their lungs

Bank Catches leprosy

Bellhop scurries by

World

Stores

Laila's Bonsai International

McBride's Quill and Ink Hole

Edwards's Stairwell Technologies

Holmes's Platter Mall

Traps

Flooding Room

Portcullis of Bitterness

Objects

Bonsai made of heavy metal

Stairwell that has been hollowed out

Secret Quill and Ink

Hidden Medallion

Sabre of Bitterness

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s spellbook shrinks to the size of a coin for 1d4 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jack McBride "White Noses" Merchant Sharks Octopus
Charles Edwards "Two Hands" Mole Bears Honey
Elliot Long Accountant Photography Rabbits
Laila Parker Accountant Horses Whipped Cream
Faith Holmes Sad Whipped Cream Shirts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).