The Director Welcomes You

Closet Royale

#b8b43a

Location

Cloudless, Warm Palau

Time of Day

4:36

Extraction Point

104 Miles NW

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Eyeballs,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Compact Festival . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Dull Whale" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A pool of blood at the Rainbow Mountain". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Polished Toy hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Rhett Fields

Alias

"Dull Whale"

Features

5' 7"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Right arm

Organization

The Incorporated of Many Hive

Emotions

Comfortable

Personality

Heavily Sovereign

Motive

Make a lot of money to become famous

Bodyguard

Harrison the "Cuddly Camel"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Melodic Crypt

Rundown Carnival

Irritation Citadel

Random Events

Bag of Lemons Is throwing a BBQ

Cauldron explodes

Crowd Integrates silently into the group

Box of Cigarette Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Jace's Lounge Chair Closet

Fleming's Barrel Properties

Lowe's Desk Threads

Ball's Music Box Emporium

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Irritation

Objects

Lounge Chair that has been hollowed out

Desk that is glowing

Secret Barrel

Hidden Crossbow

Staff of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s home drops from the sky to land heavily nearby

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Willow Fleming "Silver Pinky's" Merchant Toilets Clocks
Avery Lowe "No Hearts" Mole Children's Stories Hamsters
Matthew Chang Hotel Manager Writers Singing
Jace Tran Cheerful Chickens Slippers
Esther Ball Banker Books Doves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).