The Director Welcomes You

Throat, Loaf, Ladybug, Spy.

#1252c1

Location

Dry, Balmy Armenia

Time of Day

1:23

Extraction Point

40 Miles NE

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Elias Perry has gone missing and we believe "Mini Kraken" is responsible. They were last seen in Armenia at 18:04. The agent sent one final message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Rainbow Mountain". Take this Light Toothbrush - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Samantha Peters

Alias

"Mini Kraken"

Features

7' 2"

Blue eyes

Large moles / Right thumb

Organization

The Crew of Zealous Ladybug

Emotions

Sympathy

Personality

Valiantly Shaggy

Motive

Disrupt the military justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Nancy the "Shallow Opossums"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Scruffy Carousal

Expensive Acropolis

Enjoyment House

Random Events

Bard Is being tortured

German Trench Club Finds gold in the water

Bunny is being loudly arrested

Biscuit Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Robin's Plaster Bust Convenience store

Woods's Sofa Productions

Hogan's Workbench Industries

Perry's Telescope Productions

Traps

Collapsing Column

Poison Needle of Ruin

Objects

Plaster Bust that has been hollowed out

Workbench that has been hollowed out

Secret Sofa

Hidden Trident

Cat of Ruin

Wand of Wonder

If cut open, caster is found to contain thousands of bees

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alice Woods "Chunky Elbows" Merchant Music Rocks
Grant Hogan "Gross Legs" Mole Rabbits Soup
Daniel Santos Meteorologist Paper Squirrels
Robin Parker Funeral Director Sun Glasses Clocks
Elias Perry Chief Executive Officer Books Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).