The Director Welcomes You

Mustard, Data, Religion, Spy.

#4fc26e

Location

Foul, Windy Rwanda

Time of Day

10:32

Extraction Point

90 Miles SE

Time to Complete

5 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to the inside of a Crowded Island to look for a suspect by the name "Heavy Ghost". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A black cat runs past at the Frozen palace".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Bulbous Boot in your kit to help.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maddox Oconnor

Alias

"Heavy Ghost"

Features

5' 11"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Community of Grumpy Religion

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Fairly Happy

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Al the "Old Fairy"

Physical Size

Young

Story

Additional Locations

The Uptight Jungle

Compact Creek

Extinction Acropolis

Random Events

Beggar Balances on a ledge

Gallon of Trash Is accused by the law

Keg Is being tortured

German Trench Club Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Brandon's Globe Group

Taylor's Bonsai Du jour

Wolfe's Flower in Vase Arcade

Sherman's crutch Convenience store

Traps

Poison Needle

Burning Hands of Annihilation

Objects

Globe made of heavy metal

Flower in Vase that is glowing

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Sticks

Javelins of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

Target’s hat is replaced by half of a hollowed-out coconut

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zoe Taylor "Drowsy Lox" Merchant Fire Lions
Harmony Wolfe "Fast Bones" Mole Rocks Singing
Autumn Campbell Physician Lipstick Tissues
Brandon Norman Plumber Eggs Dolphins
Angelina Sherman Statistician Cartography Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).