The Director Welcomes You

Collective Royale

#07a04e

Location

Humid, Mild Rwanda

Time of Day

7:19

Extraction Point

15 Miles S

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Meddlers,
It seems "Black Beholder" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the Apple Orchard". We need you to eliminate them, Valiantly. Their last known location was recorded at 00:02. You have a Glowing Baking Tray as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kimberly Jones

Alias

"Black Beholder"

Features

5' 7"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Right middle finger

Organization

The Bureau of Arid Disease

Emotions

Dismayed

Personality

Valiantly Hollow

Motive

Take over a country justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Alex the "Unsightly kobold"

Physical Size

Petty

Story

Additional Locations

The Common Festival

Polluted Forge

Destruction Carnival

Random Events

Squirrel Calls menacingly

Odor scurries by

Leopard Is frozen into a block of ice

Gallon of Trash Is under a curse

World

Stores

Owen's End Table Collective

Lang's Iron stove Little shop

Garner's Coat of Arms Technologies

Morales's Metal chair Industries

Traps

Large Net

Rolling Rock of Fatality

Objects

End Table that is glowing

Coat of Arms with a False bottom

Secret Iron stove

Hidden Mace

Banana of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

If caster swallows a hot coal, he’s 5% likely to turn to diamond

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jacob Lang "Silver Bones" Merchant Cellphones Octopus
Sophia Garner "Drowsy Boy" Mole Teeth Cookies
Paige Davidson Physician Television Bears
Owen Willis Elder Comic Books Boxes
Luna Morales Engineer Video Games Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).