The Director Welcomes You

The Throat Skill Protocol

#fad384

Location

Foggy, Dry Central African Republic

Time of Day

6:3

Extraction Point

59 Miles W

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Meddlers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Satchel with a False bottom. Get to Central African Republic at 20:08

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Norah Moody

Alias

"Five Unicorn"

Features

7' 9"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Right hand

Organization

The Guild of Sweltering Can

Emotions

Insecure

Personality

Weekly Few

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Hal the "Sensual Leech"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Wailing Mansion

Deserted Spring

Rage Mansion

Random Events

Odor Catches leprosy

Box of Cigarette runs over an infant

Turtle approaches

Druid Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Weston's Satchel Arcade

Bauer's Mounted Animal Boutique

Hardy's Fire poker set Specialities

Todd's Pedestal Specialities

Traps

Swinging Block

Lightning Bolt of Skill

Objects

Satchel with a False bottom

Fire poker set made of heavy metal

Secret Mounted Animal

Hidden Lance

Bow of Skill

Wand of Wonder

Next enemy to wound caster begins to resemble him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Joshua Bauer "Two Hands" Merchant Limes Bells
Hazel Hardy "Fat Pastrami's" Mole Bears Sun Glasses
Mattie Graham Phantom Plushies Acorns
Weston Ferguson Depressed Hammers Ice Cubes
Callie Todd Blacksmith Syrup Singing

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).