The Director Welcomes You

Solutions Royale

#35fa00

Location

Mild, Dull Kiribati

Time of Day

0:14

Extraction Point

199 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to climb a Expensive Crypt to look for a suspect by the name "Mini Rabbit". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A lone flower growing at the Crossroads".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Brush in your kit to help.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Melanie Moreno

Alias

"Mini Rabbit"

Features

4' 1"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Right arm

Organization

The Division of Sticky Mimosa

Emotions

Disillusioned

Personality

Greatly Long

Motive

Disrupt the military to become rich

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Broad Vampires"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Freezing Island

Desolate Lagoon

Amnesia Creek

Random Events

Nomad Spontaneously disintegrates

Spectator Is being tortured

Husband Ignites violently

Crowd is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Arya's Suit of armor Solutions

Becker's Globe Group

Lawson's Desk Consulting

Reese's Pocket watch Beauty Stop

Traps

Compacting Room

Fire of Excitement

Objects

Suit of armor made of heavy metal

Desk children's replica

Secret Globe

Hidden Longsword

Bottle of Excitement

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are carrying ornate ceremonial daggers

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Roman Becker "Stiff Elbows" Merchant Whipped Cream Jigsaw Puzzles
Ariana Lawson "Two Pastrami's" Mole Cellphones Dice
Jude Baker Farmer Television Flowers
Arya Russell Plumber Soda Money
Leonardo Reese Elder Acorns Television

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).