The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Prickly Pie

#abf425

Location

Dark, Icy Canada

Time of Day

23:1

Extraction Point

139 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Wardrobe made of heavy metal. Get to Canada at 11:01

Good Luck.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Calvin Hawkins

Alias

"Fat Kaiju"

Features

4' 8"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Left eye

Organization

The Order of Heavy Serf

Emotions

Intrigued

Personality

Poorly Putrid

Motive

Take over a government to control the Children

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Rapid Demon"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Prickly Manor

Crowded Fortress

Bitterness Castle

Random Events

Deadbeat Is being tortured

Sewer explodes

Whore Balances on a ledge

Milk Shipment Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

World

Stores

Wesley's Wardrobe Supermarket

Flores's Platter Creative

Wallace's Musical instrument Emporium

Bates's File Worldwide

Traps

Swinging Block

Lightning Bolt of Amnesia

Objects

Wardrobe made of heavy metal

Musical instrument that is glowing

Secret Platter

Hidden Pike

Blindfold of Amnesia

Wand of Wonder

For 2d4-1 horrible days, caster works in a huge corporate office

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Everett Flores "Big Lemons" Merchant Easter Chalk
Lillian Wallace "King Toes" Mole Money Rabbits
Aliyah Snyder Stressed Rubber Stamps Syrup
Wesley Vega Intoxicated Bears Jigsaw Puzzles
Sherri Bates Secretary Dolphins Bears

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).