The Director Welcomes You

Idea, Quilt, Equipment, Spy.

#37dbb3

Location

Wet, Frigid Morocco

Time of Day

7:5

Extraction Point

105 Miles E

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to approach a Archaic Casino to look for a suspect by the name "Mini Humanoid". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Underwater cave".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Feminine Bread in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Andrew Miranda

Alias

"Mini Humanoid"

Features

6' 4"

Green eyes

Large moles / Right hand

Organization

The Committee of Flat Equipment

Emotions

Content

Personality

Willfully Salty

Motive

Disrupt the military to please their master

Bodyguard

John the "Childish Opossums"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Thoughtless Masquerade

Deserted Arcade

Violence Lodge

Random Events

Donkey strikes the ground

Demon scurries by

Hoard is being loudly arrested

Husband Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Silas's Credenza Group

Singh's Stamp Set International

Swanson's Watch Factory

Newman's Figurine Couture

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Suspicious door with lock of Joy

Objects

Credenza made of heavy metal

Watch that is glowing

Secret Stamp Set

Hidden Necklace

Rock of Joy

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s spellbook is unintelligible for 1d100 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kimberly Singh "Five Knuckles" Merchant Scarves Socks
Eric Swanson "Sharp Livers" Mole Notes Quartz Crystals
David Coleman Actor Toilets Water
Silas Fernandez Weakened Books Potatoes
Richard Newman Pharmacist Paperclips Soda

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).