The Director Welcomes You

The Toes Annihilation Protocol

#e5bd8f

Location

Stormy, Dry New Zealand

Time of Day

23:18

Extraction Point

11 Miles E

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Informants,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Bicycle children's replica. Get to New Zealand at 13:19

Good Luck.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Thomas Perkins

Alias

"Cramped Sloth"

Features

5' 10"

Red eyes

Small mole / Left arm

Organization

The Association of Sparkling Person

Emotions

Revulsion

Personality

Hastily Swollen

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Prince the "Weak Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Substantial

Story

Additional Locations

The Cold Jungle

Rundown Lagoon

Influence City

Random Events

Carcass Is throwing a BBQ

Butter Shipment Protests

Box of Cigarette Integrates silently into the group

Cauldron skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Anna's Bicycle Mall

Roberts's Clamp Mall

Park's Ceramic Crock Bazaar

Park's Glass Jars Group

Traps

Floor Net

Portcullis of Annihilation

Objects

Bicycle children's replica

Ceramic Crock that is glowing

Secret Clamp

Hidden Sling

Pen of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

All weapons within 50 yards appear to be made of bone

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sawyer Roberts "Gross Noses" Merchant Rabbits Lipstick
London Park "Small Throats" Mole Singing Doors
Hudson Richardson Vision Jazz Clocks
Anna Ray Chief Executive Officer Doors Oranges
Caleb Park Indifferent Gym Memberships Soda

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).