The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Tropical Paste

#7e85df

Location

Gorgeous, Humid Burundi

Time of Day

23:59

Extraction Point

71 Miles NW

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Eyeballs,
As you can see you are trapped inside the outside of a Desolate Volcano . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Quiet Hydra" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shadow passes at the Tempest". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Beautiful Condom hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Abraham Moran

Alias

"Quiet Hydra"

Features

7' 5"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The League of Microscopic Loaf

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Badly White

Motive

Make a lot of money for a love interest

Bodyguard

Jose the "Fat Platypuses"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Tropical Castle

Desolate Suburbs

Perspiration Mansion

Random Events

Panhandler is robbed

Spectator runs over an infant

Amulet Is accused by the law

Chanting Cult Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Christopher's Flowers Growing Ventures

Woods's Cutting board Little shop

Grant's Hanging Birdcage Emporium

Marquez's Chair Consulting

Traps

Blade Barrier

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Catastrophe

Objects

Flowers Growing children's replica

Hanging Birdcage made of heavy metal

Secret Cutting board

Hidden Lance

Chastity Belt of Catastrophe

Wand of Wonder

Next weapon to wound target is +1 until he’s wounded again

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Thomas Woods "Meaty Dumplings" Merchant Cooking Sailboats
Emily Grant "Mini Cheesecakes" Mole Bracelets Doves
Angelina Stewart Indifferent Lamps Gym Memberships
Christopher Ray Exhausted Water Glitter
Miguel Marquez Bruised Dice Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).