The Director Welcomes You

Floor, Thanks, Jury, Spy.

#11c38f

Location

Hot, Humid Algeria

Time of Day

19:15

Extraction Point

99 Miles S

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Snoopers,
I have sent you to the bottom of a Desolate Arcade to look for a suspect by the name "Obese Pig". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A thick fog rolls in at the Painted Sands".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Light Cigarette in your kit to help.

β€” The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ryan Anderson

Alias

"Obese Pig"

Features

7' 2"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Left eye

Organization

The Sisterhood of Jolly Jury

Emotions

Hurt

Personality

Officially Pervasive

Motive

Take over a country to be left alone

Bodyguard

John the "Cheap Troll"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Weak Castle

Overpopulated Pond

Darkness Port

Random Events

Vagabond Bounces oddly

Nomad screams at the top of their lungs

Squirrel Glistens gently

Bank Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Aubree's Fireplace Beauty Stop

Powers's Clamp Convenience store

Barber's Music Box Du jour

Ingram's Bookcase Cosmetics

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Ceiling Pendulum of Instability

Objects

Fireplace that is glowing

Music Box children's replica

Secret Clamp

Hidden Sword

Axe of Instability

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that some item he’s carrying will soon explode

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Greyson Powers "Small Lox" Merchant Chickens Robots
Bryce Barber "Obese Lox" Mole Limes Syrup
Caroline Solis Dietitian Television Lipstick
Aubree Gonzales Librarian Paper Shirts
Luca Ingram Human Statue Painting Rabbits

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).