The Director Welcomes You

The Safety Extermination Protocol

#4696e9

Location

Cool, Dark Bolivia

Time of Day

11:13

Extraction Point

4 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Investigators,
I have sent you to climb a Compact Arcade to look for a suspect by the name "Dull Rabbit". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a random cow at the Great Shadow".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Lipstick in your kit to help.

β€” The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Serenity Jennings

Alias

"Dull Rabbit"

Features

7' 9"

Green eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The Community of Delicious Crown

Emotions

Regretful

Personality

Busily Fried

Motive

Take over a government to become the best

Bodyguard

James the "Clever Banshee"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Risible Fortress

Archaic Acropolis

Fury Lake

Random Events

Panhandler Is under a curse

Ninja Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Druid Adopts a nearby child

Toilet Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Gracie's Taxidermy animal International

Cross's Grandfather Clock Outlet

Brown's Hatrack Ventures

Lindsey's Candle Collective

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Ice lock of Extermination

Objects

Taxidermy animal children's replica

Hatrack children's replica

Secret Grandfather Clock

Hidden Bottle

Dagger of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he’s just escaped from rogue vivisectionists

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Leo Cross "Nice Falafels" Merchant Sharks Shirts
Benjamin Brown "Wild Churros" Mole Photography Cellphones
Julianna Dawson Sad Trucks Tigers
Gracie Evans Stressed Acorns Balloons
Arya Lindsey Scientist Socks Horses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).