The Director Welcomes You

Owl, Axe, Head, Spy.

#9b2424

Location

Dull, Cloudless Kazakhstan

Time of Day

2:23

Extraction Point

68 Miles W

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Compact Forge . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Golden Wendigo" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Music Store". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Explosive Brush hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Max Love

Alias

"Golden Wendigo"

Features

6' 7"

Red eyes

A second belly button / Left hand

Organization

The Alliance of Savory Head

Emotions

Weary

Personality

Politely Horny

Motive

Make a lot of money to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Loose Basilisk"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Heavy Suburbs

Crowded Isle

Cleanliness Fortress

Random Events

Buccaneer Salutes the adventurers

Bard is robbed

German Trench Club Glistens gently

Amulet Skips merrily

World

Stores

Max's Bureau Discount

Douglas's Bonsai Group

Wallace's Suit of armor Unlimited

Larson's Lounge Chair Labs

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Beehive of Fatality

Objects

Bureau that has been hollowed out

Suit of armor that has been hollowed out

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Glasses

Lighter of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t speak while wielding a weapon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Fiona Douglas "Silver Scars" Merchant Octopus Writers
Mia Wallace "Drowsy Heels" Mole Rubber Bands Mirrors
Camden Jordan Firefighter Jigsaw Puzzles Attention
Max Lindsey Dog surfing instructor Socks Trees
Liam Larson Professional Bridesmaid Clocks Quartz Crystals

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).