The Director Welcomes You

The Hate Exuberance Protocol

#ac71ec

Location

Warm, Gorgeous Grenada

Time of Day

21:7

Extraction Point

158 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Kitchen table made of heavy metal. Get to Grenada at 22:00

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alina Haynes

Alias

"Three Hedgehogs"

Features

5' 9"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Sisterhood of Witty Ladybug

Emotions

Receptive

Personality

Tightly Gigantic

Motive

Take over a country because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

George the "Evasive Mummy"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Obnoxious Arcade

Compact Manor

Dark Carnival

Random Events

Cauldron gathers near a point of interest

Tramp Bounces oddly

Vegetable Is under a curse

German Trench Club Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Brooklyn's Kitchen table Convenience store

Hill's Pedestal Specialities

Lucas's Bed Beauty Stop

Cummings's Chaise Logistics

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Blade Barrier of Exuberance

Objects

Kitchen table made of heavy metal

Bed that has been hollowed out

Secret Pedestal

Hidden Camera

Pants of Exuberance

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s spellbook weighs 1d100+100 pounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mason Hill "Plump Falafels" Merchant Bread Bracelets
Jordyn Lucas "Meaty Parmigianas" Mole Fire Paperclips
Eliana Barnett Optimistic Potatoes Honey
Brooklyn Fuller Architect Acorns Trucks
Hadley Cummings Elder Rubber Bands Boxes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).