The Director Welcomes You

The Actually Young Agent

#0c068a

Location

Stormy, Mild France

Time of Day

14:51

Extraction Point

89 Miles E

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Scrutinizers,
It seems "No Minotaur" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Skull shaped island". We need you to eliminate them, Actually. Their last known location was recorded at 14:14. You have a Glowing Battery as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gael Rodriguez

Alias

"No Minotaur"

Features

7' 10"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Right arm

Organization

The Department of Poor Fetish

Emotions

Fondness

Personality

Actually Rancid

Motive

Disrupt the military to save humanity

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Invisible Sphinx"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Young Crypt

Abandoned Sanctuary

Doom Jungle

Random Events

Crowd gathers near a point of interest

Rustler Skips merrily

Prostitute Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Box of Cigarette runs over an infant

World

Stores

Mya's Trunk Consulting

Paul's Telescope Beauty Stop

Weaver's Loveseat Creative

Long's Kitchen knife Logistics

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Black Tentacles of Optimism

Objects

Trunk children's replica

Loveseat that has been hollowed out

Secret Telescope

Hidden Fork

Scimitar of Optimism

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters a lake, he’s attacked by turtles

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brantley Paul "Obese Muscles" Merchant Oranges Chickens
Kingston Weaver "Tough Pinky's" Mole Tigers Potatoes
Abel Morgan Police Officer Rabbits Pillows
Mya Powell Envious Jigsaw Puzzles Music
Daniela Long Counselor Drinking Pillows

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).