The Director Welcomes You

Phone, Mass, Twins, Spy.

#857478

Location

Warm, Dry Iraq

Time of Day

11:35

Extraction Point

122 Miles NE

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Rundown Motel to look for a suspect by the name "King ghost". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A white horse dashes past at the Ivory Gate".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Feminine Candle in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Quinn Moran

Alias

"King ghost"

Features

6' 10"

Red eyes

A second belly button / Right hand

Organization

The Council of Vast Twins

Emotions

Uncertain

Personality

Helpfully Deep

Motive

Take over a government out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Drab Porpoises"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Rabid Grove

Compact House

Oblivion Park

Random Events

Robber Is frozen into a block of ice

Rhapsody Attempts to rob a bank

Chunk of Beef screams at the top of their lungs

Rhapsody gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Mckenzie's End Table Warehouse

Fitzgerald's Cabinet Outlet

Romero's Picture Frame Solutions

Davidson's Cabinet Closet

Traps

Compacting Room

Fireball of Fate

Objects

End Table that has been hollowed out

Picture Frame children's replica

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Frying Pan

Chewing Gum of Fate

Wand of Wonder

Next meal prepared by caster functions as a potion of healing

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Owen Fitzgerald "Stiff Tongues" Merchant Rabbits Writers
Savannah Romero "Golden Feet" Mole Soda Teeth
Jackson Little Intoxicated Coffee Quartz Crystals
Mckenzie Howard Professional Bridesmaid Horses Slippers
Bryce Davidson Electrician Stickers Football

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).