The Director Welcomes You

Group Royale

#0b479b

Location

Miserable, Wet Namibia

Time of Day

2:59

Extraction Point

129 Miles W

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Spy Deputies,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Iron stove that is glowing. Get to Namibia at 16:03

Good Luck.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Londyn Peterson

Alias

"Stiff Goblins"

Features

6' 6"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Left hand

Organization

The Council of Luminous Buttplug

Emotions

Disturbed

Personality

Worriedly Numerous

Motive

Make a lot of money to be left alone

Bodyguard

Peter the "Brief Kraken"

Physical Size

Considerable

Story

Additional Locations

The Broken Palace

Underwater Lake

Stealth Island

Random Events

Water Vessel meets disaster

Drunk explodes

Building Is being tortured

Box of Mice Bursts loudly

World

Stores

Trinity's Iron stove Group

Miranda's Music Box Discount

Bush's Vanity Ventures

Knight's Drawers Ventures

Traps

Floor Net

Fire of Calamity

Objects

Iron stove that is glowing

Vanity that has been hollowed out

Secret Music Box

Hidden Boomerang

Coif of Calamity

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing gloves, he requires no sleep for 1d4 weeks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Matthew Miranda "Drowsy Spleens" Merchant Oranges Toilets
Harmony Bush "Indigo Matzo Balls" Mole Washing Machines Broccoli
Rachel Christensen Meteorologist Cookies Sharp Things
Trinity Mullins Actor Syrup Lions
Cora Knight Electrician Syrup Pillows

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).