The Director Welcomes You

The Diligently Breezy Agent

#f24e40

Location

Dry, Frigid North Macedonia

Time of Day

22:11

Extraction Point

162 Miles SW

Time to Complete

12 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Obese gorgon" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "A black cat runs past at the Painted Sands". We need you to eliminate them, Diligently. Their last known location was recorded at 15:09. You have a Explosive Socks as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Miles Alvarado

Alias

"Obese gorgon"

Features

5' 10"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Firm of Stocky Quarter

Emotions

Disliked

Personality

Diligently Drooping

Motive

Disrupt the military out of survival

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Colossal Dolphin"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Breezy Festival

Overpopulated Port

Ice Masquerade

Random Events

Cat Ignites violently

Gang is heard screaming

Leopard Adopts a nearby child

Spice Box Is being tortured

World

Stores

Samuel's Medallion Unlimited

Oliver's Notebook Wardrobe

Brady's Pedestal Bazaar

Fox's Trinket Convenience store

Traps

Floor Net

Hail of Needles of Oblivion

Objects

Medallion that is glowing

Pedestal that has been hollowed out

Secret Notebook

Hidden Stave

Wrench of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

Anyone cutting target with a blade feels heartwarming glee

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mila Oliver "Cheap Lox" Merchant Children's Stories Bears
Samuel Brady "Casual Throats" Mole Bracelets Chalk
Lily Castillo Waiter Lions Water
Samuel Morrison Zestful Stickers Tea
Richard Fox Accountant Painting Lamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).