The Director Welcomes You

The Hot Doom Incident

#f4c1cb

Location

Humid, Cool Sierra Leone

Time of Day

13:3

Extraction Point

29 Miles E

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Quiet Sphinx" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "A pool of blood at the old bridge". We need you to eliminate them, Loyally. Their last known location was recorded at 22:01. You have a Glowing Brush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Waylon Ingram

Alias

"Quiet Sphinx"

Features

7' 6"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Left middle finger

Organization

The Crew of Old Television

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Loyally Microscopic

Motive

Disrupt the military because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Juan the "Brave Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Didactic City

Expensive Suburbs

Bitterness City

Random Events

Storm Is hurled at the adventurers

Bag of Lemons Calls menacingly

Horse Carriage Strikes the church bell

Dead Animal Ignites violently

World

Stores

Charlotte's Watch Closet

Johnston's Trunk Bureau

Sutton's Pipe Atelier

Ortega's Glass Jars Industries

Traps

Compacting Room

Flooding Room of Doom

Objects

Watch made of heavy metal

Pipe that has been hollowed out

Secret Trunk

Hidden Axe

Axe of Doom

Wand of Wonder

Caster seriously considers entering the clergy

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Silas Johnston "Indigo Eyes" Merchant Rabbits Lipstick
Wyatt Sutton "Fast Cheesecakes" Mole Sailboats Potatoes
Dawson Day Frazzled Toilets Writers
Charlotte Newman Physician Soap Dice
Amelia Ortega Professional Cuddler Harmonica Drinking

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).