The Director Welcomes You

Butter, Sabre, Tampon, Spy.

#9f0189

Location

Mild, Wet Lesotho

Time of Day

21:16

Extraction Point

71 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Naomi Fowler has gone missing and we believe "Plump Troll" is responsible. They were last seen in Lesotho at 20:02. The agent sent one final message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Grove of Weeping Willows". Take this Bulbous Chewing Gum - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Rachel Bowers

Alias

"Plump Troll"

Features

5' 6"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right arm

Organization

The Fraternity of Shitty Tampon

Emotions

Pity

Personality

Sheepishly Tinkling

Motive

Disrupt the military to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Rainy Aardvark"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Empty House

Underground Maze

Fury Isle

Random Events

Vagrant Is being detained

Woman chase a suspect

Pack of Wild Dogs is loose

Chicken Protests

World

Stores

Aria's Toolset Ventures

Paul's Bottle Worldwide

Wade's Kitchen table Consulting

Fowler's Vanity Collective

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Object Smeared with Poison of Weakness

Objects

Toolset made of heavy metal

Kitchen table that has been hollowed out

Secret Bottle

Hidden Arrows

Guthook of Weakness

Wand of Wonder

Next enemy wounded by caster loses an additional 1d100 hit points

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Miguel Paul "Short Knuckles" Merchant Cellphones Cousins
Andrew Wade "Orange Fingers" Mole Quartz Crystals Water
Preston Nguyen Sad Rubber Stamps Tigers
Aria Williams Dietitian Soap Oranges
Naomi Fowler Frustrated Trees Sticky Notes

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).