The Director Welcomes You

Face, Game, Truck, Spy.

#7d486d

Location

Dull, Breezy The Bahamas

Time of Day

9:32

Extraction Point

19 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Ambassadors,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Desolate Castle . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Big Beast" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the Garden of Bears". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Evil Flute hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ryker Jackson

Alias

"Big Beast"

Features

5' 1"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Right thumb

Organization

The Gang of Stale Truck

Emotions

Contempt

Personality

Viciously Filthy

Motive

Disrupt the military for a love interest

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Shallow Elephant"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Ambitious Grove

Archaic Pond

Freshness House

Random Events

Carcass screams at the top of their lungs

Wedding Cake Glistens gently

Majestic Painting Gets their hand chopped off

Transport stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Marcus's Crate Bazaar

Taylor's Flowers Growing Threads

McBride's Fruit Bowl Labs

Mason's Fire poker set Chic Chåteau

Traps

Earthquake

Ghoul Touch of Bravery

Objects

Crate with a False bottom

Fruit Bowl that has been hollowed out

Secret Flowers Growing

Hidden Sling

Goblet of Bravery

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t wield any weapon within 1d4 miles of this spot

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Arabella Taylor "Nice Noses" Merchant Coffee Boxes
Charlotte McBride "Cramped Muscles" Mole Drinking Cellphones
Avery Reyes Cobbler Sponges Notes
Marcus Scott Restless Television Doors
Jackson Mason Secretary Hammers Bears

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).