The Director Welcomes You

The Rapid Luge Examination

#f3b5f6

Location

Miserable, Warm Kazakhstan

Time of Day

9:1

Extraction Point

39 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Snoopers,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Rundown Chateau . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Violet Zombie" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shadow passes at the Golden Fire". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Light Lamp hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Catherine Barker

Alias

"Violet Zombie"

Features

5' 3"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Division of Victorious Cork

Emotions

Bored

Personality

Zealously Nefarious

Motive

Take over a country because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Sam the "Raw Worm"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Rapid Lodge

Touristy Maze

Euphoria Fortress

Random Events

Jug of Peanut Butter Lunges at the group

Carcass Glistens gently

Squirrel Integrates silently into the group

Musical arrives in the mail

World

Stores

King's Pan Warehouse

Stewart's Flowers Growing Threads

Gonzalez's Ring Arcade

Shelton's Figurine Market

Traps

Swinging Block

Tripping Chain of Endownment

Objects

Pan with a False bottom

Ring that has been hollowed out

Secret Flowers Growing

Hidden Bracelet

Handcuffs of Endownment

Wand of Wonder

If target is slain in the next 24 hours, he resurrects at sunrise

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aiden Stewart "Nice Hands" Merchant Horses Hamsters
Leonardo Gonzalez "Cheap Parmigianas" Mole Death Writers
Adalynn Gibbs Waiter Harmonica Money
King Simpson Technician Dinosaurs Hammers
Kinsley Shelton Spirit Basketball Mirrors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).