The Director Welcomes You

Who is Harrison Cleaver?

#44354b

Location

Rainy, Windy Latvia

Time of Day

0:30

Extraction Point

95 Miles E

Time to Complete

16 Hours

Informants,
It seems "Orange Worm" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Golden Fire". We need you to eliminate them, Gladly. Their last known location was recorded at 22:07. You have a Evil Blanket as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alan Phillips

Alias

"Orange Worm"

Features

6' 11"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Left leg

Organization

The Union of Acidic Two

Emotions

Attraction

Personality

Gladly Boiled

Motive

Disrupt the military out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Harrison the "Childish kobold"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Prominent Business

Underwater Park

Expiration Forge

Random Events

VAT of Broth is heard screaming

Squirrel is heard screaming

Wanderer Is throwing a BBQ

Storm Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Ivan's Wingback chair Hole

Alvarez's Goblet Beauty Stop

Boyd's Flowers Growing Warehouse

Tran's Portrait Specialities

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Chain Lightning of Reservation

Objects

Wingback chair that has been hollowed out

Flowers Growing that is glowing

Secret Goblet

Hidden Collar

Throwing Dart of Reservation

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, he acquires an unusual phobia

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Bennett Alvarez "Wild Cappuccinos" Merchant Hammers Children's Stories
Michael Boyd "Gross Pretzels" Mole Video Games Hammers
Andrea Moore Lawyer Trees Soup
Ivan Wheeler Waiter Toilets Television
Matthew Tran Townsfolk Christmas Flowers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).