The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Swift Girls

#3dbeae

Location

Icy, Windy Fiji

Time of Day

5:49

Extraction Point

44 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Gross Imp" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Sacrificial Hole". We need you to eliminate them, Accidentally. Their last known location was recorded at 09:07. You have a Clandestine Headphones as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maria Ramirez

Alias

"Gross Imp"

Features

6' 8"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Crotch

Organization

The Authority of Plump Society

Emotions

Rageful

Personality

Accidentally Contemporary

Motive

Take over a government out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Icy Gnome"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Swift Citadel

Abandoned Masquerade

Fate Fortress

Random Events

Husband Strikes the church bell

Prostitute Spontaneously disintegrates

Pack of Wild Dogs Calls menacingly

Buccaneer approaches

World

Stores

Sebastian's Mural Outlet

Gonzalez's Rug Solutions

Lloyd's Statue Du jour

Cunningham's Sofa Consulting

Traps

Flooding Room

Black Tentacles of Well-being

Objects

Mural with a False bottom

Statue made of heavy metal

Secret Rug

Hidden Axe

Notebook of Well-being

Wand of Wonder

Caster ages 1d10 years per hour until sunset tonight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brantley Gonzalez "Wild Hot Dogs" Merchant Cousins Writers
Alina Lloyd "Stiff Livers" Mole Water Soccer
Emily Carpenter Ghost Rabbits Chili
Sebastian Wallace Engineer Honey Sharp Things
Finn Cunningham Annoyed Cellphones Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).