The Director Welcomes You

The Engorged Orgy Expedition

#475de7

Location

Rainy, Dark Eritrea

Time of Day

15:58

Extraction Point

108 Miles NW

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Agents,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Kitchen knife that is glowing. Get to Eritrea at 18:19

Good Luck.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gavin Chambers

Alias

"Orange Owlman"

Features

4' 11"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Right foot

Organization

The Society of Ugly Ashtray

Emotions

Disillusioned

Personality

Gracefully Sparse

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Repulsive Pig"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Engorged Port

Underwater Sanctuary

Ice Isle

Random Events

Crowd overflows

Vegetable Glistens gently

Bag of Lemons Skips merrily

Rhapsody overflows

World

Stores

Khloe's Kitchen knife Factory

Salazar's Coat Consulting

Adkins's Candelabra Bazaar

Banks's Wardrobe Hole

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Acid Fog of Destiny

Objects

Kitchen knife that is glowing

Candelabra made of heavy metal

Secret Coat

Hidden Glasses

Necklace of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

Electricity crackles in target’s clothing when he’s angry

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Autumn Salazar "The Ankles" Merchant Hamsters Limes
Malachi Adkins "Red Muscles" Mole Jigsaw Puzzles Football
Brielle Robinson Plumber Books Sharks
Khloe Fischer Chef Books Music
Joshua Banks Consultant Dinosaurs Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).