The Director Welcomes You

Chic Chåteau Royale

#22bed6

Location

Dry, Arid Mongolia

Time of Day

19:19

Extraction Point

54 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Plaster Bust children's replica. Get to Mongolia at 01:20

Good Luck.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aliyah Brady

Alias

"Tough Turtle"

Features

6' 10"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Society of Infantile Walk

Emotions

Uncertain

Personality

Boldly Rhythmic

Motive

Take over a country to please their master

Bodyguard

Jack the "Faithful Platypuses"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Blue Carnival

Hidden Pond

Peace City

Random Events

Majestic Painting meets disaster

Feminist Skips merrily

Water Vessel Lunges at the group

Renaissance Faire Is being detained

World

Stores

Roman's Plaster Bust Chic Chåteau

Allen's Wingback chair Logistics

Caldwell's File Arcade

Vargas's Chair Outlet

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Blade Barrier of Bliss

Objects

Plaster Bust children's replica

File that is glowing

Secret Wingback chair

Hidden Glasses

Bracer of Bliss

Wand of Wonder

Caster falls madly in love with someone who’s never existed

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Liliana Allen "Wild Stomachs" Merchant Death Rabbits
Fiona Caldwell "The Bones" Mole Dice Washing Machines
Grace Acosta Old Timer Contracts Soda
Roman Robertson Frustrated Candy Oranges
Adalyn Vargas Dead Tired Water Hammers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).