The Director Welcomes You

Sawdust, Queen, Media, Spy.

#f00684

Location

Hot, Miserable Micronesia, Federated States of

Time of Day

1:40

Extraction Point

52 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "Three Hobgoblin" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "A white horse dashes past at the Turtle Rock". We need you to eliminate them, Zestfully. Their last known location was recorded at 05:24. You have a Clandestine Toothbrush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Marcus Hunt

Alias

"Three Hobgoblin"

Features

5' 8"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Neck

Organization

The Society of Alive Media

Emotions

Pity

Personality

Zestfully Rotten

Motive

Take over a government to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Charles the "Wooden Nymph"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Odd Fortress

Underwater Lagoon

Fire Crypt

Random Events

Corncob explodes

Princess meets disaster

Chicken grabs a lady's purse

Robber Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Reagan's Painting Mall

Santiago's Glass Jars Convenience store

Alvarez's Figurine Consulting

Ryan's Bell Convenience store

Traps

Fireball

Black Tentacles of Expiration

Objects

Painting that is glowing

Figurine that is glowing

Secret Glass Jars

Hidden Dagger

Bracer of Expiration

Wand of Wonder

Whatever is now in target’s hand weighs more than he does

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cooper Santiago "Mini Noses" Merchant Sailboats Pillows
Hunter Alvarez "One Throats" Mole Mirrors Rock n' Roll
Jordyn Cook Butcher Cooking Chickens
Reagan Richards Barber Deodorant Fire
Jasper Ryan Midwife Lipstick Sharp Things

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).