The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jessica Art?

#969401

Location

Foul, Windy Equatorial Guinea

Time of Day

22:52

Extraction Point

136 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Green Pig" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "A thick fog rolls in at the Skull shaped island". We need you to eliminate them, Unethically. Their last known location was recorded at 18:06. You have a Robotic Blender as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Matteo Ayala

Alias

"Green Pig"

Features

6' 3"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The company of Robust Volcano

Emotions

Defeated

Personality

Unethically Pervasive

Motive

Make a lot of money out of survival

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Brief Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Millions City

Crowded Carnival

Euthanasia Crypt

Random Events

Bard Integrates silently into the group

Pickpocket skins a cat with his teeth

Potato Is being detained

Dracula stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Alan's crutch Bazaar

Gomez's Fireplace Brothers

Haynes's Bottle Little shop

Becker's Ring Convenience store

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Poison Needle of Vulnerability

Objects

crutch that is glowing

Bottle made of heavy metal

Secret Fireplace

Hidden Spear

Button of Vulnerability

Wand of Wonder

Target knows the location of every lock within one mile

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Andrea Gomez "Small Scars" Merchant Syrup Potatoes
Caleb Haynes "Two Lox" Mole Batteries Toilets
Logan Frazier Ghost Eggs Robots
Alan Oliver Dentist Teeth Lamps
Aubrey Becker Athlete Photography Candles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).