The Director Welcomes You

The Gently Rapid Agent

#e316a6

Location

Balmy, Dull Armenia

Time of Day

12:23

Extraction Point

110 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to climb a Desolate Island to look for a suspect by the name "Big Wendigo". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The earth shakes briefly at the Snowy garrison".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Fluffy Toothbrush in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Addison Hammond

Alias

"Big Wendigo"

Features

6' 10"

Red eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The Department of Wet Sponge

Emotions

Indifferent

Personality

Gently Ugly

Motive

Disrupt the military out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Pre-Pubescent Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Small-scale

Story

Additional Locations

The Rapid Port

Rundown Lodge

Laughter Lodge

Random Events

Procession Catches leprosy

Crow is heard screaming

Bank Is being detained

Dead Animal is loose

World

Stores

Juan's Certificate Collective

Marquez's Paperweight Atelier

Barton's Potted Plant Emporium

Morrison's Shirt Brothers

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Ice lock of Purity

Objects

Certificate that is glowing

Potted Plant with a False bottom

Secret Paperweight

Hidden Coif

Sticks of Purity

Wand of Wonder

Caster can withstand ocean depths while holding a bar of sodium

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adam Marquez "Big Knuckles" Merchant Candy Octopus
King Barton "Stiff Bones" Mole Tigers Washing Machines
Jace Hammond Librarian Writers Tigers
Juan Vasquez Mechanic Toilets Fire
Zion Morrison Librarian Flashlights Honey

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).