The Director Welcomes You

The Kick Fire Protocol

#5013db

Location

Windy, Dark Ecuador

Time of Day

0:36

Extraction Point

54 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Preston Cannon has gone missing and we believe "Violet Troll" is responsible. They were last seen in Ecuador at 00:10. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Crossroads". Take this Delicate Tissues - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brooke Elliott

Alias

"Violet Troll"

Features

7' 1"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left arm

Organization

The Committee of Ambitious Error

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Needily Limpid

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

John the "Rabid Serpent"

Physical Size

Young

Story

Additional Locations

The Blue Business

Crowded Lagoon

Calming Sanctuary

Random Events

Cat Finds gold in the water

Bag of Flour Catches leprosy

VAT of Broth meets disaster

Chicken Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Luca's Iron stove Specialities

Flynn's Key Creative

Powell's Brass Replica Unlimited

Cannon's Globe Market

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Fire

Objects

Iron stove with a False bottom

Brass Replica that has been hollowed out

Secret Key

Hidden Lance

Coif of Fire

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby owns the deed to the soul of someone else nearby

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Natalia Flynn "Slow Churros" Merchant Paper Doors
Isaiah Powell "Little Dumplings" Mole Music Robots
Adalyn Stephens Engineer Glitter Snowglobes
Luca Lynch Animator Soccer Syrup
Preston Cannon Fortune Cookie Writer Cellphones Peanut Butter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).