The Director Welcomes You

Hive, Library, Hate, Spy.

#917117

Location

Stormy, Windless Algeria

Time of Day

21:36

Extraction Point

106 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Informants,
It seems "Fat Gnome" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the dry riverbed". We need you to eliminate them, Oddly. Their last known location was recorded at 15:20. You have a Robotic Bolt Cutter as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Finn Leon

Alias

"Fat Gnome"

Features

5' 11"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Right middle finger

Organization

The Clique of Jocular Hate

Emotions

Hopeful

Personality

Oddly Worried

Motive

Take over a government for a love interest

Bodyguard

Charles the "Mandatory Troll"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Lively House

Deserted Jungle

Prosperity Maze

Random Events

Crow Is throwing a protest

Prostitute scurries by

Ninja is being loudly arrested

Goblet is robbed

World

Stores

Nevaeh's Bible Beauty Stop

Blake's Kitchen table Specialities

Webster's Hat Bazaar

Lucas's Grandfather Clock Industries

Traps

Floor Net

Lightning Bolt of Virtue

Objects

Bible that has been hollowed out

Hat that has been hollowed out

Secret Kitchen table

Hidden Sticks

Wrench of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Target sprouts a collar of holly from the skin of his neck

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gabriella Blake "Cramped Toes" Merchant Cats Cats
Catherine Webster "Chunky Bagels" Mole Essential Oils Bears
Jacob Byrd Dog surfing instructor Plushies Baseball
Nevaeh Gallagher Animator Horses Paperclips
Brielle Lucas Musician Mirrors Tigers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).