The Director Welcomes You

Consulting Royale

#8e36b4

Location

Breezy, Wet Netherlands

Time of Day

21:31

Extraction Point

175 Miles S

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Investigators,
I have sent you to the top of a Expensive Reef to look for a suspect by the name "Yellow Chimera". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a random cow at the dancing-trees".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Explosive Lighter in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Skylar Pham

Alias

"Yellow Chimera"

Features

7' 4"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Clique of Petite Pump

Emotions

Envious

Personality

Repeatedly Immense

Motive

Disrupt the military to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Engorged Eel"

Physical Size

Small-scale

Story

Additional Locations

The High Villa

Compact Barn Dance

Exuberance Spring

Random Events

Feminist screams at the top of their lungs

Renaissance Faire Bounces oddly

Cauldron grabs a lady's purse

Crow screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Kevin's Pipe Consulting

Chang's Portrait Outlet

Dominguez's Satchel Properties

Herrera's Hat Logistics

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Flooded Corridor of Censorship

Objects

Pipe that is glowing

Satchel with a False bottom

Secret Portrait

Hidden Rock

Blindfold of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Caster is immune to the effects of illusory sound

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Avery Chang "Sharp Boy" Merchant Mirrors Trucks
Faith Dominguez "Nice Fingers" Mole Gym Memberships Chili
Ryan Mills Midwife Dice Soap
Kevin Torres Spirit Socks Essential Oils
Kimberly Herrera Veteran Pillows Sailboats

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).