The Director Welcomes You

The Worm Purity Incident

#be7bf6

Location

Windy, Stormy Ukraine

Time of Day

5:39

Extraction Point

200 Miles N

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Taxidermy animal that is glowing. Get to Ukraine at 20:21

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Diego McKinney

Alias

"Meaty Ghost"

Features

7' 10"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Crotch

Organization

The Community of Straight Children

Emotions

Relaxed

Personality

Weekly Jealous

Motive

Make a lot of money to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Gifted Humanoid"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Mandatory Carnival

Pitch Black City

Extinction Circus

Random Events

Keg is heard screaming

Bellhop Is being kidnapped

Crowd Is throwing a protest

Keg Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Valeria's Taxidermy animal Atelier

Cooper's Plaster Bust Brothers

Reeves's Shelf of alcohol Chic Chåteau

Hodges's Mirror Consulting

Traps

Compacting Room

Razor-Wire across Hallway of Purity

Objects

Taxidermy animal that is glowing

Shelf of alcohol children's replica

Secret Plaster Bust

Hidden Collar

Sabre of Purity

Wand of Wonder

If target is now standing, he can’t sit or lie down for 8d6 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lauren Cooper "Cheap Lemons" Merchant Books Books
Elias Reeves "Red Cappuccinos" Mole Limes Chickens
Adalynn Cox Dead Tired Limes Singing
Valeria Lucas Talent agent Christmas Batteries
Jasmine Hodges Musician Rubber Bands Attention

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).