The Director Welcomes You

The Engorged Fried Chicken Commission

#9a4ca5

Location

Gloomy, Chilly Czech Republic

Time of Day

24:9

Extraction Point

35 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Snoopers,
I have sent you to fly above a Bustling Jungle to look for a suspect by the name "Italian Spirit". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A roll of thunder at the Grove of Weeping Willows".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Mechanical Battery in your kit to help.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Giovanni Greene

Alias

"Italian Spirit"

Features

6' 5"

Green eyes

A second belly button / Right hand

Organization

The Committee of Bitter Gladiator

Emotions

Alienated

Personality

Successfully Icy

Motive

Take over a country to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Charles the "Quaint Owlman"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Engorged Reef

Underwater Reef

Obliteration Citadel

Random Events

Drunk Bounces oddly

Baker Is being kidnapped

Crazy Man skins a cat with his teeth

Robber is loose

World

Stores

Fiona's Goblet Cosmetics

Fox's Tapestry Discount

Lucas's Potted Plant Department store

Waters's Large book Bazaar

Traps

Chain Lightning

Flame Strike of Contentment

Objects

Goblet made of heavy metal

Potted Plant made of heavy metal

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Rapier

Sickle of Contentment

Wand of Wonder

Next person to wound the target suffers overpowering vertigo

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Madison Fox "Cramped Elbows" Merchant Books Harmonica
Eli Lucas "Five Tongues" Mole Writers Washing Machines
Jesus Ferguson Architect Mirrors Socks
Fiona Baldwin Intoxicated Easter Washing Machines
Evan Waters Art Therapist Tigers Candles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).