The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jessica Bees?

#50bfd6

Location

Frigid, Wet Poland

Time of Day

3:48

Extraction Point

130 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Meddlers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Paperweight made of heavy metal. Get to Poland at 08:21

Good Luck.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ezekiel Campos

Alias

"Golden Kangaroos"

Features

6' 6"

Red eyes

Large moles / Right foot

Organization

The Bunch of Puckish Curmudgeon

Emotions

Absorbed

Personality

Sadly Deafening

Motive

Take over a country to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Facetious Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Colossal

Story

Additional Locations

The Sturdy Barn Dance

Overpopulated Grove

Happiness Forge

Random Events

Rhapsody runs over an infant

Musical Adopts a nearby child

Bottle of Soy Sauce chase a suspect

Pine Branch explodes

World

Stores

Brantley's Paperweight Boutique

Garza's Goblet Creative

James's Ring Factory

Alvarez's Stamp Set Worldwide

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Delight

Objects

Paperweight made of heavy metal

Ring made of heavy metal

Secret Goblet

Hidden Crossbow

Chewing Gum of Delight

Wand of Wonder

Any coins in caster’s possession are gold-plated

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Wesley Garza "Small Ankles" Merchant Cooking Dinosaurs
Juan James "Indigo Elbows" Mole Photography Death
Genevieve Kennedy Police Officer Butterflies Flashlights
Brantley Ball Veteran Horses Quartz Crystals
Lorenzo Alvarez Hotel Manager Candles Television

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).