The Director Welcomes You

The Digestion Fate Protocol

#36d00a

Location

Hot, Breezy Grenada

Time of Day

16:43

Extraction Point

110 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Operatives,
We need your help. Agent Riley Nguyen has gone missing and we believe "Gross Opossums" is responsible. They were last seen in Grenada at 23:08. The agent sent one final message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Unicorn Nest". Take this Explosive Lighter - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ximena Holt

Alias

"Gross Opossums"

Features

4' 6"

Heterochromia eyes

Faint curved scar / Neck

Organization

The Clique of Slimy Women

Emotions

Helpless

Personality

Unimpressively Itchy

Motive

Disrupt the military to please their master

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Colossal Roc"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Squirrelly Forest

Underground Shelter

Cheer Pond

Random Events

Water Vessel catches on fire

Meteor Attempts to rob a bank

Crazy Man Crashes slowly

Hoard Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Miguel's Diary Group

Chen's Key Closet

Brown's Clamp Boutique

Nguyen's Taxidermy animal Convenience store

Traps

Large Net

Phantasmal Killer of Fate

Objects

Diary that has been hollowed out

Clamp with a False bottom

Secret Key

Hidden Knife

Book of Fate

Wand of Wonder

Target is tormented by visions of his own damnation

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Grace Chen "Yellow Dumplings" Merchant Horses Water
Dawson Brown "Little Eyes" Mole Hammers Glass
Tricia Newman Drunken Lions Children's Stories
Miguel Burgess Cheerful Soup Sticks
Riley Nguyen Physician Comic Books Scarves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).