The Director Welcomes You

The Juice Sanitation Incident

#52985b

Location

Stormy, Sunny Iceland

Time of Day

10:9

Extraction Point

153 Miles W

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "The Troll" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "Distant sounds of screaming at the Grove of Weeping Willows". We need you to eliminate them, Fervently. Their last known location was recorded at 02:24. You have a Clandestine Ballpoint Pen as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayden Frank

Alias

"The Troll"

Features

7' 8"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Fraternity of Tasteless Dad

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Fervently Depressed

Motive

Take over a country in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Larry the "Swollen Seal"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Tinkling Acropolis

Crowded Island

Pleasure Chateau

Random Events

Alligator Protests

Toilet Calls menacingly

Crying Child meets disaster

Hoard Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Kylie's Statue Market

Banks's Faberge Egg Outlet

Craig's Pedestal Couture

Richardson's Platter Specialities

Traps

Beehive

Beehive of Sanitation

Objects

Statue that has been hollowed out

Pedestal with a False bottom

Secret Faberge Egg

Hidden Club

Watch of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

Target suffers no damage from wounds inflicted by orcs

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kinsley Banks "All Heels" Merchant Money Batteries
Leah Craig "Heavy Brains" Mole Rabbits Clocks
Carlos Roberts Judge Flashlights Football
Kylie Blake Blacksmith Lions Christmas
Paige Richardson Pharmacist Drinking Bracelets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).