The Director Welcomes You

The Fork Pleasure Protocol

#b06025

Location

Icy, Cloudy Canada

Time of Day

10:34

Extraction Point

39 Miles S

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Informants,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Globe that has been hollowed out. Get to Canada at 15:03

Good Luck.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eli Barrett

Alias

"Nice Hydra"

Features

6' 11"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Incorporated of Proud Girls

Emotions

Compassionate

Personality

Carefully Warm

Motive

Disrupt the military to become famous

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Melted Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Bankrupt Crypt

Polluted Lodge

Grave Consequences Manor

Random Events

Baker approaches

Alligator Adopts a nearby child

Thief Is frozen into a block of ice

Keg Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Emery's Globe Collective

Manning's Music Box Du jour

Goodwin's Letter Opener Wardrobe

McDonald's Fire poker set Specialities

Traps

Bear Trap

Razor-Wire across Hallway of Pleasure

Objects

Globe that has been hollowed out

Letter Opener with a False bottom

Secret Music Box

Hidden Sling

Pike of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

Caster doesn’t need to eat during the new moon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Oscar Manning "Blue Lox" Merchant Comic Books Rubber Bands
Judy Goodwin "Chunky Brains" Mole Rabbits Water
Emmanuel Padilla Geologist Gym Memberships Chocolate
Emery Weber Drunken Soda Batteries
Max McDonald Funeral Director Money Cousins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).