The Director Welcomes You

The Coop Casualties Incident

#9b50eb

Location

Cloudless, Stormy Belize

Time of Day

7:51

Extraction Point

73 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to the inside of a Overpopulated Sanctuary to look for a suspect by the name "Violet Sea Lion". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to uncover their plans. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A pool of blood at the Frozen palace".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Bicycle in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Savannah Alvarado

Alias

"Violet Sea Lion"

Features

7' 7"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Society of Dire Tattoo

Emotions

Sad

Personality

Poorly Plain

Motive

Make a lot of money to please their master

Bodyguard

Al the "Melted Werewolf"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Sensual Mansion

Ancient House

Ice Grove

Random Events

Softball overflows

Building Balances on a ledge

Milk Shipment Is being tortured

Chauvinist Ignites violently

World

Stores

Bennett's Marionette Little shop

Rojas's Creeping Vines Boutique

Martinez's Brass Replica Warehouse

Bryant's Hose Properties

Traps

Black Tentacles

Tripping Chain of Casualties

Objects

Marionette that has been hollowed out

Brass Replica with a False bottom

Secret Creeping Vines

Hidden Blowgun

Banana of Casualties

Wand of Wonder

If caster is now bleeding, he can’t use magic for 1d4 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Clara Rojas "Stiff Lemons" Merchant Peanut Butter Contracts
Jasmine Martinez "Gross Stomachs" Mole Bells Lions
Molly Baldwin Railroad Conductor Plushies Easter
Bennett Baker Counselor Fire Christmas
Riley Bryant Fortune Cookie Writer Books Rubber Stamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).