The Director Welcomes You

The Turkey Extinction Protocol

#49c432

Location

Foul, Breezy Norway

Time of Day

14:13

Extraction Point

195 Miles W

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Jesse Dennis has gone missing and we believe "Left Normal Guy" is responsible. They were last seen in Norway at 20:18. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Underwater cave". Take this Dull Mirror - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mila Gregory

Alias

"Left Normal Guy"

Features

7' 2"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Firm of Many Party

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Busily Gregorian

Motive

Disrupt the military to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Bankrupt Serpent"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Municipal Creek

Archaic Circus

Casualties Maze

Random Events

Softball gathers near a point of interest

Gallon of Trash Balances on a ledge

Dozen Eggs Attempts to rob a bank

Store Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Finn's Trinket Logistics

Jones's Notebook Cosmetics

Walton's Picture Frame Hole

Dennis's Window Technologies

Traps

Ice lock

Acid Fog of Extinction

Objects

Trinket that has been hollowed out

Picture Frame that has been hollowed out

Secret Notebook

Hidden Spoon

Sword of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s entire head looks like a huge nose

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Genevieve Jones "All Lemons" Merchant Jazz Chocolate
Caroline Walton "Orange Forearms" Mole Baseball Tigers
Bentley Jacobs Butcher Children's Stories Sponges
Finn Mills Weakened Pillows Butterflies
Jesse Dennis Professional Bridesmaid Attention Glitter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).