The Director Welcomes You

Mohawk, Erection, Stepmother, Spy.

#d9469c

Location

Balmy, Dark Mongolia

Time of Day

9:21

Extraction Point

35 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Scrutinizers,
I have sent you to the outside of a Polluted Water Park to look for a suspect by the name "Tough Manticore". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shadow passes at the Broken Face".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Bikini in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Cole Parks

Alias

"Tough Manticore"

Features

5' 1"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Right thumb

Organization

The Unit of Pugilistic Stepmother

Emotions

Melancholy

Personality

Vaguely Itchy

Motive

Take over a country to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Moist Spirit"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Feckless Manor

Expensive Lagoon

Secrecy Chateau

Random Events

Delivery Guy scurries by

Box of Cigarette Bursts loudly

Bag of Flour Crashes slowly

Midwife runs over an infant

World

Stores

Justin's Key Ventures

Simon's Pan Worldwide

Harper's Bottle Cosmetics

Fox's Spare brick Ventures

Traps

Acid Fog

Bear Trap of Delirium

Objects

Key made of heavy metal

Bottle that is glowing

Secret Pan

Hidden Hammers

Whip of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he’s the world’s most powerful magic user

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lydia Simon "Black Scars" Merchant Sponges Tea
Alan Harper "Nice Boy" Mole Whipped Cream Deodorant
Mary Taylor Meteorologist Cellphones Limes
Justin Little Restless Mirrors Bears
King Fox Mechanic Attention Butterflies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).