The Director Welcomes You

Outlet Royale

#8d74c6

Location

Frigid, Overcast Burkina Faso

Time of Day

17:22

Extraction Point

96 Miles NE

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Everly Tucker has gone missing and we believe "Left Hydra" is responsible. They were last seen in Burkina Faso at 05:18. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the Three Fingers". Take this Soft Baking Tray - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aaron Martinez

Alias

"Left Hydra"

Features

4' 11"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Task Force of Shrilling Scotch

Emotions

Aggravated

Personality

Limply Loose

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Tim the "Bewildered Camel"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Intelligent Maze

Bustling Forge

Expiration Crypt

Random Events

Dracula screams at the top of their lungs

Transport is being loudly arrested

Diary meets disaster

Meteor Evades the law

World

Stores

Kayden's Hanging Birdcage Outlet

Wade's Music Box International

Leon's Trophy Solutions

Tucker's Key Supermarket

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Swinging Block of Euphoria

Objects

Hanging Birdcage that has been hollowed out

Trophy children's replica

Secret Music Box

Hidden Mace

Club of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby smells like a corpse in the presence of magic

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nova Wade "Slow Pinky's" Merchant Rabbits Sun Glasses
David Leon "Green Hot Dogs" Mole Toilets Lions
Everly Wilson Waiter Paperclips Chalk
Kayden Steele Spirit Hammers Sponges
Everly Tucker Master Distiller Attention Socks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).