The Director Welcomes You

The Whistle Competency Incident

#263370

Location

Miserable, Frigid Latvia

Time of Day

6:15

Extraction Point

200 Miles NW

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to approach a Rundown Port to look for a suspect by the name "Short Gnome". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Devil's barrow".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Light Screwdriver in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Dean Jenkins

Alias

"Short Gnome"

Features

4' 10"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Firm of Hungry Prosperity

Emotions

Pleased

Personality

Cautiously Extensive

Motive

Take over a government out of survival

Bodyguard

Nancy the "Green Elves"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Steep Spring

Underground Lagoon

Fatality Crypt

Random Events

Crazy Man Salutes the adventurers

Soup Gets their hand chopped off

Panhandler scurries by

Bellhop stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Sydney's Plaster Bust Worldwide

Yates's Satchel Technologies

Avila's Fireplace Warehouse

Harrison's Marionette Emporium

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Javelin of Competency

Objects

Plaster Bust that has been hollowed out

Fireplace with a False bottom

Secret Satchel

Hidden Bracelet

Pen of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Next weapon nearby to draw blood heats to 800°

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jesus Yates "Meaty Tongues" Merchant Glass Deodorant
Aaron Avila "Bullet Falafels" Mole Children's Stories Clocks
James Carrillo Bounty hunter Oranges Gym Memberships
Sydney Rowe Midwife Ice Cubes Snowglobes
Waylon Harrison Counselor Writers Ice Cubes

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).