The Director Welcomes You

Coop, Science, Tapestry, Spy.

#6ff3c0

Location

Chilly, Hot Latvia

Time of Day

19:57

Extraction Point

150 Miles NW

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Chaise that is glowing. Get to Latvia at 10:13

Good Luck.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Allison Sanders

Alias

"Three Hedgehogs"

Features

4' 8"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Club of Dead Tapestry

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Jubilantly Delightful

Motive

Disrupt the military for revenge

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Mushy Pig"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Rapping City

Abandoned Pond

Perspiration Port

Random Events

Bear Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Bunny Is throwing a protest

Toilet overflows

Bag of Lemons Protests

World

Stores

Savannah's Chaise Du jour

Frank's Trophy Properties

Lucas's Letter Opener Brothers

Warner's Musical instrument Hole

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Bricks from Ceiling of Well-being

Objects

Chaise that is glowing

Letter Opener with a False bottom

Secret Trophy

Hidden Goblet

Javelins of Well-being

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby is encased up to his chin in a large glass cube

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Violet Frank "Mini Heels" Merchant Money Bears
Alyssa Lucas "Black Hot Dogs" Mole Soda Cartography
Chase Contreras Spirit Sharks Slippers
Savannah Walsh Artist Squirrels Glitter
Jordan Warner Human Statue Tissues Toilets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).