The Director Welcomes You

Who is Timmy Log Cabin?

#e1c654

Location

Dull, Sunny United Arab Emirates

Time of Day

14:3

Extraction Point

170 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Emmett Castro has gone missing and we believe "Three Whale" is responsible. They were last seen in United Arab Emirates at 17:16. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the Turtle Rock". Take this Angry Brush - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mackenzie Myers

Alias

"Three Whale"

Features

5' 5"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Left leg

Organization

The Authority of Sovereign History

Emotions

Regretful

Personality

Upward Ambitious

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Strung Out Goblins"

Physical Size

Sizable

Story

Additional Locations

The Fat Chateau

Bustling Festival

Cheer Forge

Random Events

Cookie Strikes the church bell

Squirrel Finds gold in the water

Milk Shipment Strikes the church bell

Prostitute Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Iris's Watch Outlet

Garza's Kitchen table Labs

White's Paperweight Productions

Castro's Vanity Boutique

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Censorship

Objects

Watch that has been hollowed out

Paperweight that is glowing

Secret Kitchen table

Hidden Knife

Coin of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Target’s lips are sewn shut with fine gold wire

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mariah Garza "Cheap Tongues" Merchant Attention Cellphones
Harper White "Red Elbows" Mole Pillows Sticks
Jonathan Neal Sad Oranges Tigers
Iris Hartman Drunken Death Soda
Emmett Castro Dead Tired Cats Sharp Things

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).