The Director Welcomes You

Closet Royale

#020ba2

Location

Bright, Sunny Bahrain

Time of Day

2:29

Extraction Point

41 Miles W

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Shoe Horn children's replica. Get to Bahrain at 03:09

Good Luck.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Matteo Morrison

Alias

"Obese Leprechaun"

Features

7' 3"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Unit of Drooping Truck

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Weakly Chipper

Motive

Disrupt the military to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

John the "Shy Hydra"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Chubby Fortress

Bustling Barn Dance

Oblivion Spring

Random Events

Softball is being loudly arrested

Transport gathers near a point of interest

Panhandler emerges

Box of Cigarette Glistens gently

World

Stores

Joel's Shoe Horn Closet

Hartman's Musical instrument Department store

James's Spare brick Technologies

Chandler's Ring Industries

Traps

Camouflaged Pit

Tripping Chain of Death

Objects

Shoe Horn children's replica

Spare brick children's replica

Secret Musical instrument

Hidden Fork

Button of Death

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby is accused of assassinating the king

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Evan Hartman "Yellow Kidneys" Merchant Football Syrup
Peyton James "Fast Fingers" Mole Butterflies Oranges
Bryce Gonzales Lawyer Video Games Rock n' Roll
Joel Roberts Intoxicated Potatoes Candles
Mattie Chandler Counselor Boxes Contracts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).