The Director Welcomes You

The Chewy Internet Charade

#64aca3

Location

Hot, Icy Chile

Time of Day

10:43

Extraction Point

191 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Big Griffin" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a random cow at the Wizard's Scar". We need you to eliminate them, Speedily. Their last known location was recorded at 06:02. You have a Light Bread as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

John Simon

Alias

"Big Griffin"

Features

6' 1"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Crotch

Organization

The Alliance of Defamatory Beggar

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Speedily Slimy

Motive

Take over a government for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Carl the "Long Hobgoblin"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Chewy Maze

Deserted Chateau

Enjoyment Villa

Random Events

Delivery Guy scurries by

Vagabond approaches

Feminist gathers near a point of interest

Amulet strikes the ground

World

Stores

Melanie's Sculpture Logistics

Richardson's Large book Group

Hardy's Brass Replica Arcade

Walsh's Cutting board Solutions

Traps

Acid Arrow

Black Tentacles of Excitement

Objects

Sculpture that has been hollowed out

Brass Replica children's replica

Secret Large book

Hidden Trident

Soy Sauce Packet of Excitement

Wand of Wonder

When target next spills blood, his Strength is halved until dawn

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jose Richardson "Chunky Brains" Merchant Flowers Robots
Antonio Hardy "Cheap Cheesecakes" Mole Whipped Cream Trees
Elena Park Elder Tea Balloons
Melanie Evans Stressed Drinking Glass
Peyton Walsh Cobbler Video Games Books

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).