The Director Welcomes You

The Afterwards Tiring Agent

#4203be

Location

Bright, Stormy Kyrgyzstan

Time of Day

14:37

Extraction Point

172 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Taylor Haynes has gone missing and we believe "Fast Banshee" is responsible. They were last seen in Kyrgyzstan at 08:08. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Sacrificial Hole". Take this Robotic Abascus - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nicholas Ingram

Alias

"Fast Banshee"

Features

6' 3"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Left leg

Organization

The Council of Shallow Ashtray

Emotions

Ambivalent

Personality

Afterwards Small

Motive

Make a lot of money to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Crooked Unicorn"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Tiring Arcade

Deserted Barn Dance

Fury Sanctuary

Random Events

Toilet Is being detained

Store strikes the ground

Biscuit approaches

Dancer runs over an infant

World

Stores

Emilia's Medallion Couture

Townsend's Musical instrument International

Green's Kitchen knife Threads

Haynes's Bookcase Industries

Traps

Hail of Needles

Floor Net of Virtue

Objects

Medallion made of heavy metal

Kitchen knife made of heavy metal

Secret Musical instrument

Hidden Cutlass

Rock of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he can summon ghosts and phantoms at will

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ryan Townsend "Silver Cappuccinos" Merchant Rubber Bands Contracts
Weston Green "Big Churros" Mole Cartography Rubber Bands
August Richards Waiter Chocolate Painting
Emilia Howell Dietitian Batteries Tigers
Taylor Haynes Surgeon Mirrors Deodorant

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).