The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Prehensile Orgy

#30ad92

Location

Miserable, Foul India

Time of Day

9:16

Extraction Point

160 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "One Abominable Snowman" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a random cow at the dancing-trees". We need you to eliminate them, Worriedly. Their last known location was recorded at 10:17. You have a Evil Candle as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hadley Gill

Alias

"One Abominable Snowman"

Features

7' 8"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Incorporated of Miniature Battle

Emotions

Horrified

Personality

Worriedly Encrypted

Motive

Make a lot of money for honor

Bodyguard

James the "Green Basilisk"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Prehensile Shelter

Bustling Mansion

Peace Isle

Random Events

Chauvinist approaches

Chicken Salutes the adventurers

Bellhop Bounces oddly

Toilet Ignites violently

World

Stores

Greyson's Pedestal Boutique

Owen's Credenza Beauty Stop

White's Ceramic Crock Group

Benson's Rug Warehouse

Traps

Razor-Wire across Hallway

Extended Bane of Calming

Objects

Pedestal made of heavy metal

Ceramic Crock made of heavy metal

Secret Credenza

Hidden Boomerang

Javelins of Calming

Wand of Wonder

Target’s allies each give him 1d100 gold pieces

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Bryce Owen "Small Pinky's" Merchant Plushies Jigsaw Puzzles
Alina White "Red Falafels" Mole Shirts Honey
Katherine Campbell Spirit Teeth Rubber Bands
Greyson Price Restless Glitter Children's Stories
Jeremiah Benson Bounty hunter Chickens Doves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).