The Director Welcomes You

Who is Donald Lubricant?

#97264f

Location

Chilly, Bright Moldova

Time of Day

7:3

Extraction Point

80 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Snoopers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Flowers Growing children's replica. Get to Moldova at 10:21

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mila Robbins

Alias

"Left Bigfoot"

Features

7' 2"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Right foot

Organization

The Society of Deep Balcony

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Weakly Narrow

Motive

Take over a country for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Donald the "Raw Orcs"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Curved House

Pitch Black Suburbs

Vulnerability Villa

Random Events

Reindeer Skips merrily

Carcass Becomes wounded

Bag of Lemons Is being kidnapped

Majestic Painting Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Caroline's Flowers Growing Little shop

Castillo's Bureau Atelier

Jimenez's Stamp Set Little shop

Graves's Chaise Department store

Traps

Blade Barrier

Bricks from Ceiling of Skill

Objects

Flowers Growing children's replica

Stamp Set that has been hollowed out

Secret Bureau

Hidden Trident

Nipple Clamp of Skill

Wand of Wonder

Next 1d4 attacks on caster automatically inflict maximum damage

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Josephine Castillo "Green Lox" Merchant Tissues Writers
Eliana Jimenez "The Heels" Mole Oranges Paperclips
Diego Haynes Scientist Trees Mirrors
Caroline Cunningham Chef Football Lipstick
Declan Graves Exhausted Rubber Bands Sun Glasses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).