The Director Welcomes You

Chain, Cherries, Tampon, Spy.

#a19745

Location

Warm, Icy Ukraine

Time of Day

7:50

Extraction Point

23 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent William Francis has gone missing and we believe "Dull Manticore" is responsible. They were last seen in Ukraine at 16:03. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the witch's mound". Take this Slippery Ballpoint Pen - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Claire Gill

Alias

"Dull Manticore"

Features

5' 9"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Left leg

Organization

The Unit of Mannered Tampon

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Enthusiastically Future

Motive

Take over a government to save humanity

Bodyguard

David the "Grumpy Sphinx"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Famous Manor

Polluted Villa

Extermination Festival

Random Events

Water Vessel arrives in the mail

Princess Is being tortured

Chanting Cult is heard screaming

Nomad chase a suspect

World

Stores

Ryker's Mirror Arcade

Norris's Armoir Closet

Webb's Sofa Discount

Francis's Goblet Consulting

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Poison Needle of Downfall

Objects

Mirror that is glowing

Sofa that is glowing

Secret Armoir

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Shoe of Downfall

Wand of Wonder

If target teleports, his skeleton teleports to this spot

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Rose Norris "Italian Knuckles" Merchant Bells Horses
Jacob Webb "Five Noses" Mole Flashlights Money
Victor Palmer Butcher Candles Soccer
Ryker Frank Shadow Painting Houses
William Francis Professional Cuddler Soccer Socks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).