The Director Welcomes You

The Truthfully Cuddly Agent

#550334

Location

Foul, Miserable Croatia

Time of Day

22:36

Extraction Point

79 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Spy Deputies,
I have sent you to the inside of a Expensive Volcano to look for a suspect by the name "Plump Vampires". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to uncover their plans. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A pool of blood at the Serpents Nest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Slippery Bikini in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jameson Ball

Alias

"Plump Vampires"

Features

4' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Right eye

Organization

The Commission of Strungout Lawyer

Emotions

Happy

Personality

Truthfully Sensual

Motive

Disrupt the military to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Ralphie the "Ugliest Sea Lion"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Cuddly Isle

Rundown City

Obliteration Grove

Random Events

Crazy Man Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Herd of Chicken scurries by

Rhapsody is loose

Alligator is robbed

World

Stores

August's Rubber Plant Closet

Campos's Cutting board Ventures

Warner's Stairwell Boutique

Turner's Mirror Mall

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Tripping Chain of Passion

Objects

Rubber Plant made of heavy metal

Stairwell with a False bottom

Secret Cutting board

Hidden Chewing Gum

Gauntlet of Passion

Wand of Wonder

Target flees into the forest if struck by magic in the next turn

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mateo Campos "Violet Livers" Merchant Rock n' Roll Peanut Butter
Theodore Warner "Chunky Pretzels" Mole Limes Honey
Sydney Scott Architect Contracts Shirts
August Edwards Consultant Ice Cubes Potatoes
Zion Turner Architect Sticky Notes Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).