The Director Welcomes You

The Coyly Gorgeous Agent

#87c1a0

Location

Stormy, Warm Uruguay

Time of Day

16:10

Extraction Point

44 Miles SE

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Anna Mclaughlin has gone missing and we believe "Fat all-seeing eye" is responsible. They were last seen in Uruguay at 17:09. The agent sent one final message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Field of Wildflowers". Take this Rusty Watch - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Timothy Price

Alias

"Fat all-seeing eye"

Features

6' 10"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Company of Chuffed Flavor

Emotions

Outraged

Personality

Coyly Mysterious

Motive

Disrupt the military out of desperation

Bodyguard

David the "Scrawny Orcs"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Gorgeous Sanctuary

Rundown Maze

Passion Pond

Random Events

Buccaneer catches on fire

Delivery Guy Glistens gently

Gypsy Is being kidnapped

Bard Evades the law

World

Stores

Anthony's Coat of Arms Department store

Hayes's Oil Lamp Du jour

Fernandez's Platter Consulting

Mclaughlin's Flowers Growing Little shop

Traps

Arrow

Suspicious door with lock of Competency

Objects

Coat of Arms children's replica

Platter with a False bottom

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Bracelet

Mace of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Next weapon nearby to draw blood thereafter craves blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sophie Hayes "Four Eyes" Merchant Video Games Acorns
Sebastian Fernandez "Small Elbows" Mole Harmonica Hammers
Preston Hammond Blacksmith Soup Chili
Anthony Graves Talent agent Notes Dolphins
Anna Mclaughlin Human Statue Sponges Balloons

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).