The Director Welcomes You

Dirigible, Recliner, Race, Spy.

#eeff4b

Location

Miserable, Dark Switzerland

Time of Day

6:49

Extraction Point

5 Miles SW

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Eleanor Davis has gone missing and we believe "Red Mummy" is responsible. They were last seen in Switzerland at 04:22. The agent sent one final message – "A traveling merchant appears at the old bridge". Take this Delicate Cake - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Anna Juarez

Alias

"Red Mummy"

Features

5' 10"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The Union of Depressed Race

Emotions

Hostile

Personality

Wonderfully Unsightly

Motive

Take over a government fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Tasteless Basilisk"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Alive Peninsula

Hidden Forest

Obsession Business

Random Events

Bum screams at the top of their lungs

Corncob meets disaster

Bag of Lemons Gets their hand chopped off

Diary gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Connor's Flower in Vase Hole

Schwartz's Tapestry International

Miller's Sink Atelier

Davis's Pocket watch Discount

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Earthquake of Redemption

Objects

Flower in Vase made of heavy metal

Sink made of heavy metal

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Camera

Soy Sauce Packet of Redemption

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he’s unspeakably ugly

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Victor Schwartz "Short Cheesecakes" Merchant Syrup Video Games
Elena Miller "Right Livers" Mole Water Rubber Bands
Amy Jimenez Annoyed Ice Cubes Glitter
Connor Reynolds Depressed Mirrors Batteries
Eleanor Davis Barber Water Robots

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).