The Director Welcomes You

Bread, Upper Management, Ashtray, Spy.

#d71eb2

Location

Dry, Dry China

Time of Day

16:43

Extraction Point

6 Miles N

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Abel Buchanan has gone missing and we believe "Blue Rhinoceroses" is responsible. They were last seen in China at 04:23. The agent sent one final message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Flooded Crystal". Take this Robotic Purse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Amaya Morrison

Alias

"Blue Rhinoceroses"

Features

4' 2"

Gray eyes

A second belly button / Right leg

Organization

The Unit of Sour Ashtray

Emotions

Isolated

Personality

Loftily Young

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Shy Chimera"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Calm Carousal

Desolate Acropolis

Obliteration Grove

Random Events

Leopard Strikes the church bell

Rhapsody Ignites violently

Buccaneer Bursts loudly

Wanderer Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Isaiah's Staircase Ventures

Salinas's Desk Specialities

Watkins's Bed Couture

Buchanan's Drawers Chic Chåteau

Traps

Blade Barrier

Poison Needle of Delight

Objects

Staircase children's replica

Bed that is glowing

Secret Desk

Hidden Frying Pan

Necklace of Delight

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he’ll die if he uses the word "the"

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Audrey Salinas "Italian Waffles" Merchant Ice Cubes Snowglobes
Grace Watkins "Black Forearms" Mole Soap Tissues
Mckenzie Page Engineer Clocks Water
Isaiah Alvarado Professional Bridesmaid Mirrors Bears
Abel Buchanan Art Therapist Harmonica Sun Glasses

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).