The Director Welcomes You

The Quirkily Greasy Agent

#946548

Location

Cloudless, Dull Morocco

Time of Day

8:44

Extraction Point

151 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "Small Kaiju" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for food at the old bridge". We need you to eliminate them, Quirkily. Their last known location was recorded at 07:23. You have a Light Balloon as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Juan Mueller

Alias

"Small Kaiju"

Features

4' 11"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Crotch

Organization

The Crew of Boorish Cast Iron Pan

Emotions

Satisfied

Personality

Quirkily Endemic

Motive

Take over a country to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Hal the "Creepy Banshee"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Greasy Fortress

Rundown Sanctuary

Expiration Peninsula

Random Events

Spice Box Skips merrily

Chanting Cult Balances on a ledge

Rustler Skips merrily

Goblet Is accused by the law

World

Stores

Sherri's Picture Frame Emporium

Nunez's Fire poker set Warehouse

Leonard's Plaster Bust Threads

Dominguez's Picture Frame Specialities

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Water-Filled Room of Animosity

Objects

Picture Frame with a False bottom

Plaster Bust with a False bottom

Secret Fire poker set

Hidden Bow

Dagger of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

After each spell, caster feels overwhelmingly dizzy

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emma Nunez "One Cheesecakes" Merchant Balloons Bells
Finley Leonard "Sharp Waffles" Mole Trucks Snowglobes
Hunter Rodriguez The Body Snowglobes Octopus
Sherri Yang Musician Soccer Rocks
Wyatt Dominguez Headhunter Oranges Comic Books

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).