The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Straight Class

#9e2567

Location

Cool, Arid Latvia

Time of Day

3:57

Extraction Point

145 Miles N

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Shadows,
I have sent you to circle a Hidden Fortress to look for a suspect by the name "Slow Zombie". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Wizard's Scar".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Glowing Candle in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jose Ingram

Alias

"Slow Zombie"

Features

6' 5"

Green eyes

Large moles / Right leg

Organization

The Brotherhood of Stale Van

Emotions

Stunned

Personality

Immediately Braised

Motive

Take over a country out of greed

Bodyguard

James the "Smelly Horse"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Straight Castle

Bustling Tower

Exuberance Festival

Random Events

Wedding Cake Spontaneously disintegrates

Thief stop the party and asks questions

Crowd Catches leprosy

Hoard screams at the top of their lungs

World

Stores

Victoria's Brass Replica Warehouse

Foster's Stamp Set Specialities

Ross's Rubber Plant Emporium

Day's Counter Discount

Traps

Tripping Chain

Burning Hands of Expiration

Objects

Brass Replica made of heavy metal

Rubber Plant that is glowing

Secret Stamp Set

Hidden Cutlass

File of Expiration

Wand of Wonder

Caster has an answer for everything

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hadley Foster "Fast Lungs" Merchant Drinking Death
Paisley Ross "Small Lox" Mole Singing Singing
Allison Woods Dentist Comic Books Death
Victoria Morrison Professional Bridesmaid Easter Money
Raelynn Day Depressed Tigers Horses

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).