The Director Welcomes You

Person, Bucket, Computer, Spy.

#315cd6

Location

Gorgeous, Rainy Namibia

Time of Day

11:13

Extraction Point

74 Miles NE

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside the inside of a Overpopulated Forge . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Right Horse" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A lone flower growing at the Eye of Heaven". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clandestine Stapler hidden on you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Oscar Owens

Alias

"Right Horse"

Features

7' 6"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Left thumb

Organization

The Society of Glamorous Computer

Emotions

Sorrow

Personality

Jovially Magnificent

Motive

Disrupt the military to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Mossy Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Delightful Barn Dance

Rundown Mansion

Fire Carnival

Random Events

Sewer arrives in the mail

Softball Is accused by the law

Bag of Flour explodes

Chauvinist Is being detained

World

Stores

Nicole's Barrel Couture

Williams's Bureau Worldwide

Stone's Trunk Boutique

Mejia's Vanity International

Traps

Crushing Room

Dropping Ceiling of Catastrophe

Objects

Barrel children's replica

Trunk children's replica

Secret Bureau

Hidden Lighter

Collar of Catastrophe

Wand of Wonder

Target’s skin erupts with 3d10 acrid fungal outgrowths

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Payton Williams "Meaty Kidneys" Merchant Scarves Doves
Braxton Stone "Quiet Legs" Mole Teeth Teeth
Diego Little Elder Tissues Dice
Nicole Barker Athlete Honey Essential Oils
Maya Mejia Master Distiller Paper Doves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).