The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Swollen Reward

#e54bf4

Location

Cloudy, Warm Zambia

Time of Day

21:43

Extraction Point

8 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Investigators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Shoe Horn that has been hollowed out. Get to Zambia at 16:00

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Bennett Saunders

Alias

"Obese Doppelganger"

Features

4' 9"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Order of Dusty Equipment

Emotions

Depressed

Personality

Vaguely Robust

Motive

Make a lot of money to become famous

Bodyguard

Carl the "Colossal Minotaur"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Swollen Carnival

Bustling Jungle

Doom Crypt

Random Events

Wanderer Attempts to rob a bank

Carcass Attempts to rob a bank

Bum is loose

Crazy Man Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Jaxson's Shoe Horn Unlimited

Barnes's Mural Du jour

Rodgers's Rug Properties

Stewart's Bed Cosmetics

Traps

Ice lock

Ice lock of Contentment

Objects

Shoe Horn that has been hollowed out

Rug that is glowing

Secret Mural

Hidden Boomerang

Gauntlet of Contentment

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s spellbook is invisible when wet

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Thomas Barnes "Cheap Scars" Merchant Sharp Things Essential Oils
Jonathan Rodgers "Dull Lungs" Mole Lipstick Baseball
Beau Joseph Plumber Water Bread
Jaxson Reeves Professional Cuddler Tigers Water
Dylan Stewart Tailor Notes Soap

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).