The Director Welcomes You

The Intelligent Coop Chase

#352021

Location

Gloomy, Chilly Uganda

Time of Day

10:59

Extraction Point

138 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Snoopers,
We need your help. Agent Juliana Austin has gone missing and we believe "Five kobold" is responsible. They were last seen in Uganda at 22:03. The agent sent one final message – "An out of place door appears at the Music Store". Take this Colorful Bible - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eleanor Hart

Alias

"Five kobold"

Features

4' 7"

Heterochromia eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Fraternity of Wrong Jizz

Emotions

Curious

Personality

Rudely Adorable

Motive

Take over a government because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Crooked Mummy"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Intelligent Island

Bustling Shelter

Amnesia Lodge

Random Events

Pack of Wild Dogs Lunges at the group

Bag of Flour Protests

Box of Cigarette skins a cat with his teeth

Keg Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Josephine's Wingback chair Du jour

Morrison's Desk Bazaar

Robertson's Paperweight Creative

Austin's Toolset Hole

Traps

Burning Hands

Chain Lightning of Obsession

Objects

Wingback chair that is glowing

Paperweight children's replica

Secret Desk

Hidden Katana

Dagger of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Target’s clothes teleport 1d10 yards

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Luca Morrison "Sharp Ribs" Merchant Essential Oils Octopus
Caleb Robertson "Indigo Bagels" Mole Flowers Comic Books
Delilah Powers Stressed Chickens Soda
Josephine Russell Cosmetologist Potatoes Eggs
Juliana Austin Restless Eggs Jigsaw Puzzles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).