The Director Welcomes You

The Thankfully Moist Agent

#e2c5b1

Location

Humid, Foggy Costa Rica

Time of Day

3:0

Extraction Point

20 Miles N

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Operatives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Sofa made of heavy metal. Get to Costa Rica at 06:02

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Leilani Salinas

Alias

"Wild Wendigo"

Features

4' 10"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Left eye

Organization

The Crew of Late Cactus

Emotions

Enthusiastic

Personality

Thankfully Insolent

Motive

Disrupt the military to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Jose the "Invisible Giraffe"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Moist Citadel

Ancient Carousal

Silence Creek

Random Events

Carcass Protests

Vagabond Lunges at the group

Store grabs a lady's purse

Mutant Skips merrily

World

Stores

Fiona's Sofa Logistics

Perez's Lipstick Discount

Lucas's Marionette Closet

Powers's Crock Beauty Stop

Traps

Bear Trap

Bear Trap of Redemption

Objects

Sofa made of heavy metal

Marionette with a False bottom

Secret Lipstick

Hidden Rock

Nipple Clamp of Redemption

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he can travel between planes at will

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emma Perez "Meaty Ribs" Merchant Essential Oils Harmonica
Leilani Lucas "Four Scars" Mole Dice Horses
Joseph Welch Elevator Mechanic Physics Shirts
Fiona Bowman Blacksmith Chocolate Syrup
Mya Powers Funeral Director Sponges Soap

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).