The Director Welcomes You

Group Royale

#e34df5

Location

Calm, Hot Czech Republic

Time of Day

21:41

Extraction Point

121 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Jonah White has gone missing and we believe "Five Werewolf" is responsible. They were last seen in Czech Republic at 00:19. The agent sent one final message – "An out of place door appears at the Underwater cave". Take this Angry Armchair - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Tricia Webster

Alias

"Five Werewolf"

Features

7' 2"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The Society of Elegant Regret

Emotions

Afraid

Personality

Calmly Mealy

Motive

Make a lot of money to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Emily the "White Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Colossal

Story

Additional Locations

The Sturdy Park

Hidden Island

Obsession Manor

Random Events

Toilet Strikes the church bell

Biscuit is loose

Goblet drops from the sky

Storm Is being detained

World

Stores

Hunter's Portrait Group

Price's Iron stove Closet

Rodriguez's Loveseat Boutique

White's Vase Boutique

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Symbol of Hypnosis of Mania

Objects

Portrait with a False bottom

Loveseat with a False bottom

Secret Iron stove

Hidden Crossbow

Bottle of Mania

Wand of Wonder

Next magic item handled by target drains 1d10 hit points from him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isla Price "Mad Cheesecakes" Merchant Dolphins Comic Books
Liam Rodriguez "Italian Dumplings" Mole Money Sun Glasses
Kai Wallace Human Statue Cartography Clocks
Hunter Sullivan Cranky Plushies Chalk
Jonah White Technician Music Essential Oils

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).