The Director Welcomes You

Who is David Law?

#6de4f9

Location

Frigid, Wet Djibouti

Time of Day

2:40

Extraction Point

127 Miles NE

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Three mammoth" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A shrine is nearby at the Music Store". We need you to eliminate them, Fatally. Their last known location was recorded at 01:20. You have a Invisible Spoon as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Josiah Anderson

Alias

"Three mammoth"

Features

7' 1"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Society of Nice Force

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Fatally Late

Motive

Take over a government justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

David the "Irrelevant Python"

Physical Size

Gigantic

Story

Additional Locations

The Sparse Citadel

Deserted Crypt

Calamity Jungle

Random Events

Milk Shipment Glistens gently

Procession Calls menacingly

Crowd chase a suspect

Majestic Painting Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Brayden's Hanging Birdcage Little shop

Hansen's Toolset Warehouse

Douglas's Globe Worldwide

Weaver's Figurine Properties

Traps

Bear Trap

Suspicious door with lock of Exuberance

Objects

Hanging Birdcage that is glowing

Globe that has been hollowed out

Secret Toolset

Hidden Sickle

Rapier of Exuberance

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s clothes are soaked with lambs’ blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Valerie Hansen "Small Livers" Merchant Whipped Cream Tigers
Isabella Douglas "Obese Cappuccinos" Mole Hammers Snowglobes
Naomi Wilson Old Timer Coffee Chalk
Brayden Garcia Broker Singing Socks
Adalyn Weaver Graphic Designer Soap Boxes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).