The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Tender Giraffe

#a6bc82

Location

Warm, Mild Uruguay

Time of Day

18:2

Extraction Point

5 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

19 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Levi Burton has gone missing and we believe "Little Beast" is responsible. They were last seen in Uruguay at 20:20. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Skull shaped island". Take this Clean Tape Measure - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brantley Jennings

Alias

"Little Beast"

Features

5' 10"

Green eyes

Faint curved scar / Right hand

Organization

The Union of Few Children

Emotions

Outraged

Personality

Greatly Chuffed

Motive

Take over a country for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Annoying Kaiju"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Tender Lodge

Compact Circus

Catastrophe Suburbs

Random Events

Dozen Eggs Glistens gently

Gallon of Trash Ignites violently

Dancer Evades the law

Alligator arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Isaac's Spice shelf Du jour

Owen's Flowers Growing Atelier

White's Musical instrument Logistics

Burton's Stamp Set Properties

Traps

Fireball

Portcullis of Doom

Objects

Spice shelf children's replica

Musical instrument children's replica

Secret Flowers Growing

Hidden Diary

Nipple Clamp of Doom

Wand of Wonder

Once per day, caster can locate the nearest holy symbol

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Arabella Owen "Italian Lemons" Merchant Christmas Slippers
Vincent White "Fat Lox" Mole Bears Doors
Declan Juarez Hairdresser Rubber Bands Children's Stories
Isaac Stephens The Body Soap Sharp Things
Levi Burton Drummer Contracts Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).