The Director Welcomes You

The Plump Ogre Exploit

#7ade2b

Location

Arid, Dry Grenada

Time of Day

12:47

Extraction Point

81 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to approach a Underground Grove to look for a suspect by the name "Fat Seal". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the hive".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Slippery Clamp in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elizabeth Vaughn

Alias

"Fat Seal"

Features

6' 10"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Neck

Organization

The Association of Important Area

Emotions

Elated

Personality

Finally Baleful

Motive

Make a lot of money for a love interest

Bodyguard

Jack the "Diligent Abominable Snowman"

Physical Size

Petty

Story

Additional Locations

The Plump Isle

Pitch Black Carnival

Extinction Lake

Random Events

Store Is being detained

Bard screams at the top of their lungs

Bum is being loudly arrested

Bard meets disaster

World

Stores

Savannah's Stairwell Threads

Vega's Vase Factory

Schwartz's Mural Worldwide

Farmer's Suit of armor Boutique

Traps

Rolling Rock

Floor Net of Oblivion

Objects

Stairwell children's replica

Mural with a False bottom

Secret Vase

Hidden Fork

Falchion of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

Target’s spine doubles in length

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Weston Vega "Silver Elbows" Merchant Lions Glass
Tyler Schwartz "Yellow Pinky's" Mole Tissues Glitter
Wyatt Boyd Meteorologist Tea Dinosaurs
Savannah Bowen Animator Bread Candy
Adalynn Farmer Dog surfing instructor Rock n' Roll Flashlights

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).