The Director Welcomes You

The Mural Calming Incident

#2e8d36

Location

Dull, Breezy Angola

Time of Day

12:3

Extraction Point

69 Miles NW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Informants,
As you can see you are trapped inside approach a Expensive Carousal . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Fast Seal" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shadow passes at the Where grass will not grow". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Mechanical Purse hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brandon Armstrong

Alias

"Fast Seal"

Features

6' 10"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Department of Freezing Disgust

Emotions

Uncomfortable

Personality

Viciously Nefarious

Motive

Take over a government to become the best

Bodyguard

Chuckie the "Shallow Wraith"

Physical Size

Petty

Story

Additional Locations

The Hollow Lodge

Polluted Carousal

Rage Villa

Random Events

Majestic Painting is robbed

Vagrant Strikes the church bell

Bank screams at the top of their lungs

Princess overflows

World

Stores

Maxwell's Skeletal Animal International

White's Quill and Ink Group

Hale's Sconce Outlet

Dixon's Goblet Specialities

Traps

Acid Arrow

Fusillade of Darts of Calming

Objects

Skeletal Animal with a False bottom

Sconce made of heavy metal

Secret Quill and Ink

Hidden Necklace

Helmet of Calming

Wand of Wonder

Target wrongly believes that everyone is trying to kill him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Victoria White "Little Pastrami's" Merchant Tissues Sharp Things
Leilani Hale "Casual Lungs" Mole Soup Writers
Miguel Owens Talent agent Physics Broccoli
Maxwell Wells Animator Soda Books
Lincoln Dixon Dog surfing instructor Football Honey

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).