The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jerry Love?

#b50fd7

Location

Windy, Rainy El Salvador

Time of Day

15:33

Extraction Point

169 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Sleuths,
It seems "Two Dwarf" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "A shrine is nearby at the Dead Forest". We need you to eliminate them, Shrilly. Their last known location was recorded at 03:11. You have a Rusty Bolt Cutter as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Khloe Watkins

Alias

"Two Dwarf"

Features

4' 3"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Right foot

Organization

The Crew of Sparse War

Emotions

Powerless

Personality

Shrilly Red

Motive

Take over a government justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Boned Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Pugilistic Citadel

Ancient House

Extinction Grove

Random Events

Dead Animal Lunges at the group

Thief Evades the law

Tramp Lunges at the group

Bum Ignites violently

World

Stores

Payton's Taxidermy animal Logistics

Gordon's Bonsai Consulting

Hansen's Certificate Couture

Chambers's Candle Consulting

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Javelin of Euphoria

Objects

Taxidermy animal made of heavy metal

Certificate made of heavy metal

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Watch

Hammers of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Target’s possessions are hidden beneath a nearby boulder

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Harrison Gordon "Small Falafels" Merchant Eggs Soccer
Camden Hansen "Wild Hot Dogs" Mole Trucks Essential Oils
Graham Reynolds Railroad Conductor Paper Ice Cubes
Payton Boyd Broker Photography Cellphones
Miguel Chambers Actor Gym Memberships Trucks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).