The Director Welcomes You

The Bruised Earthquake Question

#4f45fb

Location

Windy, Dark Liechtenstein

Time of Day

5:59

Extraction Point

96 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Eyeballs,
I have sent you to approach a Touristy Reef to look for a suspect by the name "Green Dragon". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Ivory Gate".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Angry Chewing Gum in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nathan Kim

Alias

"Green Dragon"

Features

6' 10"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Right hand

Organization

The Committee of Scrawny Curmudgeon

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Hopelessly Fried

Motive

Take over a government out of jealousy

Bodyguard

David the "Brave Cat"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Bruised Lake

Bustling Reef

Vulnerability Crypt

Random Events

Butter Shipment Salutes the adventurers

Chauvinist Attempts to rob a bank

Ninja is robbed

Nomad Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Ashley's Trophy Cosmetics

Cross's Portrait Hole

Morris's Ring Consulting

Palmer's Butter Churner Wardrobe

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Acid Fog of Extermination

Objects

Trophy children's replica

Ring that is glowing

Secret Portrait

Hidden Blowgun

Boiled Leather of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

Caster routinely forgets the reason he stood up, sat down, etc.

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
James Cross "Slow Thumbs" Merchant Deodorant Television
Brooke Morris "Italian Matzo Balls" Mole Technology Ice Cubes
Nevaeh Bradley Physician Rocks Houses
Ashley Fleming Engineer Cookies Oranges
Leah Palmer Exhausted Dinosaurs Water

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).