The Director Welcomes You

Head, Cast Iron Pan, Bust, Spy.

#b1abfe

Location

Bright, Mild Samoa

Time of Day

20:49

Extraction Point

113 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "Mini Turtle" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "The earth shakes briefly at the witch's mound". We need you to eliminate them, Cleverly. Their last known location was recorded at 24:18. You have a Polished File as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jesse Peters

Alias

"Mini Turtle"

Features

6' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Left arm

Organization

The Firm of Broad Bust

Emotions

Nervous

Personality

Cleverly Moist

Motive

Take over a country for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Heavy Bull"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Eager Castle

Archaic Citadel

Vulnerability Tower

Random Events

Vagrant Bursts loudly

Chauvinist catches on fire

Procession gathers near a point of interest

Meteor Protests

World

Stores

Brantley's Shoe Horn Brothers

Dominguez's Fire poker set Convenience store

Morales's Glass Jars Little shop

Shelton's Key Creative

Traps

Javelin

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Good Spirits

Objects

Shoe Horn children's replica

Glass Jars that is glowing

Secret Fire poker set

Hidden Banana

Newspaper of Good Spirits

Wand of Wonder

Woodland creatures react violently to the caster’s presence

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kayla Dominguez "Tough Bones" Merchant Children's Stories Sailboats
Autumn Morales "Small Dumplings" Mole Essential Oils Peanut Butter
Henry Franklin Frustrated Paper Christmas
Brantley Marshall Spirit Essential Oils Death
Sawyer Shelton Exhausted Video Games Drinking

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).