The Director Welcomes You

The Vainly Freezing Agent

#918703

Location

Calm, Overcast Uzbekistan

Time of Day

12:9

Extraction Point

5 Miles N

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
It seems "Fast Demon" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for food at the Seven Dead". We need you to eliminate them, Vainly. Their last known location was recorded at 18:14. You have a Colorful Toothbrush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Edward Santos

Alias

"Fast Demon"

Features

5' 11"

Green eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The Community of Portly Spa

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Vainly Quick

Motive

Make a lot of money to be left alone

Bodyguard

Donald the "Encrypted Sphinx"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Freezing Park

Polluted Masquerade

Reservation Jungle

Random Events

Tramp Is under a curse

Rustler stop the party and asks questions

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is under a curse

Herd of Chicken Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Jordan's Fireplace Convenience store

Little's Hose Ventures

Farmer's Hanging Birdcage Arcade

Salazar's Oil Lamp Creative

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Rolling Rock of Fatality

Objects

Fireplace that is glowing

Hanging Birdcage that has been hollowed out

Secret Hose

Hidden Banana

Blades of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby can’t move his arms in daylight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ariana Little "Left Stomachs" Merchant Hamsters Contracts
Lucas Farmer "Indigo Fingers" Mole Potatoes Peanut Butter
Nova Lowe Architect Oranges Dinosaurs
Jordan Hammond Barber Sponges Hamsters
Brianna Salazar Drunken Honey Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).