The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jessica Cake?

#8764bb

Location

Calm, Dark Russia

Time of Day

17:50

Extraction Point

88 Miles NW

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Scrutinizers,
I have sent you to circle a Rundown Maze to look for a suspect by the name "Nice Drunken Irish Guy". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Stone Circle".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Bicycle in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Evan Stewart

Alias

"Nice Drunken Irish Guy"

Features

6' 5"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Right eye

Organization

The Guild of Infantile Race

Emotions

Liking

Personality

Mysteriously Bumpy

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Sensual Owlman"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Intransigent Forest

Crowded Forest

Pleasure Palace

Random Events

Bank Adopts a nearby child

Dozen Eggs Adopts a nearby child

Cookie is loose

German Trench Club Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Jaxson's Staircase Wardrobe

Riley's Barrel Supermarket

Holland's Pocket watch Properties

Parker's Marionette Collective

Traps

Portcullis

Acid Arrow of Power

Objects

Staircase that has been hollowed out

Pocket watch that has been hollowed out

Secret Barrel

Hidden Brass Knuckles

Newspaper of Power

Wand of Wonder

The ground beneath the target point looks like the portal to hell

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emerson Riley "Five Feet" Merchant Harmonica Chalk
Calvin Holland "Big Dumplings" Mole Syrup Robots
Adeline Vazquez Physician Dolphins Flashlights
Jaxson Crawford Counselor Glitter Houses
Juliana Parker Midwife Plushies Deodorant

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).