The Director Welcomes You

Brothers Royale

#82e2b1

Location

Frigid, Overcast Singapore

Time of Day

12:58

Extraction Point

166 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Ellie Butler has gone missing and we believe "No Elves" is responsible. They were last seen in Singapore at 09:06. The agent sent one final message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Rainbow Mountain". Take this Angry Bandana - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maverick Strickland

Alias

"No Elves"

Features

6' 4"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Left thumb

Organization

The Company of Microscopic Galley

Emotions

Receptive

Personality

Lovingly Lemon

Motive

Take over a country to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Randy the "Avian Rabbit"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Witty Palace

Compact Palace

Redemption Suburbs

Random Events

Midwife Adopts a nearby child

Keg Catches leprosy

Donkey Evades the law

Rustler Crashes slowly

World

Stores

George's Footlocker Brothers

Banks's Music Box Couture

Harris's Large book Emporium

Butler's Easel Atelier

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Blade Barrier of Bliss

Objects

Footlocker made of heavy metal

Large book that has been hollowed out

Secret Music Box

Hidden Blades

Sling of Bliss

Wand of Wonder

Target’s skin develops an intricate patchwork of scars

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Amelia Banks "Orange Bones" Merchant Potatoes Painting
Ryker Harris "Cramped Kidneys" Mole Writers Gym Memberships
Kayla Long Firefighter Hamsters Shirts
George Hardy Demon Video Games Potatoes
Ellie Butler Scientist Trees Christmas

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).