The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Colossal People

#91d114

Location

Balmy, Breezy Venezuela

Time of Day

19:51

Extraction Point

103 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

17 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Orange Mermaid" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "A shadow passes at the Grey Hollow". We need you to eliminate them, Upbeat. Their last known location was recorded at 06:10. You have a Invisible Flute as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Stella Howard

Alias

"Orange Mermaid"

Features

7' 11"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Committee of Curious Women

Emotions

Disappointed

Personality

Upbeat Juicy

Motive

Make a lot of money to be left alone

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Girthy Leprechaun"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Colossal Island

Hidden Jungle

Cheer Spring

Random Events

Fairy Is frozen into a block of ice

Wanderer Skips merrily

Pickpocket Calls menacingly

Box of Mice is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Joseph's Trinket Industries

Butler's Desk Closet

Lopez's Toolbox Brothers

Byrd's Pair of Statues Outlet

Traps

Portcullis

Collapsing Column of Obsession

Objects

Trinket that is glowing

Toolbox made of heavy metal

Secret Desk

Hidden Staff

Katana of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Caster spends 2d10 rounds racing toward the nearest coastline

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Harrison Butler "Cramped Bagels" Merchant Bears Paperclips
Ellie Lopez "Red Kidneys" Mole Hamsters Paperclips
Bryson Hogan Broker Soap Glass
Joseph Washington Professional Bridesmaid Candles Christmas
Logan Byrd Spirit Oranges Bread

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).