The Director Welcomes You

The Uncle Virtue Incident

#1d112e

Location

Warm, Windless Sweden

Time of Day

0:27

Extraction Point

75 Miles W

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Ambassadors,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Underground Grove . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Tough Elves" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A vagrant asks for food at the old bridge". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Soft Balloon hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alaina Ayala

Alias

"Tough Elves"

Features

5' 7"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Neck

Organization

The Association of Enlightened Burn

Emotions

Regretful

Personality

Noisily Verdant

Motive

Make a lot of money out of jealousy

Bodyguard

David the "Colossal Wendigo"

Physical Size

Substantial

Story

Additional Locations

The Fancy Festival

Polluted Tower

Joy Peninsula

Random Events

Squirrel Evades the law

Woman overflows

Chunk of Beef emerges

Swarm of Bees Is being tortured

World

Stores

Elliott's Bureau Group

Hawkins's Skeletal Animal Labs

Guerrero's Canopy Bed Market

Mitchell's Certificate Outlet

Traps

Flooding Room

Ghoul Touch of Virtue

Objects

Bureau made of heavy metal

Canopy Bed that is glowing

Secret Skeletal Animal

Hidden Javelins

Pike of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Target races away in a random direction and can’t stop until dawn

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hadley Hawkins "Wild Lox" Merchant Socks Eggs
Aria Guerrero "Gross Elbows" Mole Candles Doors
Ivy Oconnor Indifferent Socks Easter
Elliott Washington Cobbler Painting Basketball
Hudson Mitchell Dead Tired Paper Bells

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).