The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Didactic Two

#7fa7e6

Location

Balmy, Cloudy Korea, South

Time of Day

23:19

Extraction Point

127 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Statue made of heavy metal. Get to Korea, South at 13:09

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aiden Sparks

Alias

"Three Dolphin"

Features

5' 5"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Left thumb

Organization

The Bureau of Uneven Arithmetic

Emotions

Concern

Personality

Yawningly Sclerotic

Motive

Make a lot of money to become the best

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Wooden Orcs"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Didactic Jungle

Overpopulated Isle

Vulnerability City

Random Events

Chunk of Beef approaches

Spectator Strikes the church bell

Pine Branch Is being detained

Potato Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

Braxton's Statue Couture

Welch's Oil Lamp Cosmetics

Singh's Bureau Warehouse

Barrett's Armoir Hole

Traps

Suspicious door with lock

Phantasmal Killer of Disaster

Objects

Statue made of heavy metal

Bureau that has been hollowed out

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Magazine

Scimitar of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

Next person nearby to speak is hurled 10d10 feet in the air

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Valerie Welch "Dull Matzo Balls" Merchant Sticks Glass
Valentina Singh "Golden Stomachs" Mole Potatoes Stickers
Taylor Carlson Art Therapist Lipstick Trees
Braxton Watts Plumber Lamps Robots
Julianna Barrett Master Distiller Clocks Attention

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).