The Director Welcomes You

The Game Extinction Incident

#0b5f8b

Location

Windless, Overcast Kosovo

Time of Day

17:43

Extraction Point

177 Miles SE

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Silas Meyer has gone missing and we believe "Meaty Spirit" is responsible. They were last seen in Kosovo at 07:16. The agent sent one final message – "A lone flower growing at the Dragon's Sea". Take this Bulbous Level - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kaiden Ruiz

Alias

"Meaty Spirit"

Features

7' 10"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Left thumb

Organization

The League of Mecha Monument

Emotions

Shocked

Personality

Enormously Bloody

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Jack the "Victorian Fairy"

Physical Size

Little

Story

Additional Locations

The Pervasive Villa

Underwater Lodge

Reservation Crypt

Random Events

Water Vessel Becomes wounded

Herd of Chicken explodes

Delivery Guy runs over an infant

Water Vessel is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Xander's Bookcase Little shop

Lambert's Lounge Chair Wardrobe

Turner's Watch Properties

Meyer's Creeping Vines Ventures

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Ghoul Touch of Extinction

Objects

Bookcase that has been hollowed out

Watch that has been hollowed out

Secret Lounge Chair

Hidden Rapier

Hatchet of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Any electricity-based magic used by caster reeks of ozone

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sebastian Lambert "Three Lungs" Merchant Rubber Stamps Doors
Kylie Turner "Green Ankles" Mole Sticky Notes Painting
Abraham Hines Optimistic Tigers Sponges
Xander Ball Farmer Shirts Houses
Silas Meyer Ghost Lions Doors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).