The Director Welcomes You

Magic, Thumb, Loaf, Spy.

#314036

Location

Windless, Foggy Micronesia, Federated States of

Time of Day

16:19

Extraction Point

114 Miles E

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Drowsy starfish" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "The earth shakes briefly at the old bridge". We need you to eliminate them, Fervently. Their last known location was recorded at 15:02. You have a Vicious Headphones as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ashton Hernandez

Alias

"Drowsy starfish"

Features

4' 4"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right hand

Organization

The Gang of Contemporary Loaf

Emotions

Brave

Personality

Fervently Adorable

Motive

Take over a government for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Tim the "Icy kobold"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Wonderful Island

Ancient Forest

Bliss Chateau

Random Events

Alligator Adopts a nearby child

Buccaneer arrives in the mail

Sewer emerges

Reindeer Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Aubree's Certificate Unlimited

Wolfe's Candelabra Factory

Cooper's Counter Properties

Brady's Bell Bureau

Traps

Ice lock

Lightning Bolt of Influence

Objects

Certificate with a False bottom

Counter that is glowing

Secret Candelabra

Hidden Gauntlet

Trident of Influence

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are pushed 1d10 yards from the target point

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nicole Wolfe "Mad Parmigianas" Merchant Gym Memberships Syrup
Thomas Cooper "Orange Waffles" Mole Tea Fire
Melody Kennedy Animator Whipped Cream Cats
Aubree Mack Technician Sharks Physics
Charlotte Brady Spirit Drinking Butterflies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).