The Director Welcomes You

The Metal Prosperity Incident

#c8e27a

Location

Hot, Sunny Armenia

Time of Day

7:0

Extraction Point

47 Miles SW

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Investigators,
I have sent you to enter a Archaic Spring to look for a suspect by the name "Mini Nymph". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the dry riverbed".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Slippery Bread in your kit to help.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Andrew Richards

Alias

"Mini Nymph"

Features

6' 3"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Left middle finger

Organization

The company of Tangy Sludge

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Colorfully Mastadonic

Motive

Disrupt the military to become rich

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Childish Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Stocky Lagoon

Rundown Lake

Death Acropolis

Random Events

Biscuit Strikes the church bell

Mutant Is being detained

Bank Attempts to rob a bank

Vagrant stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Landon's Fruit Bowl Creative

Tate's Cabinet International

Palmer's Bonsai Mall

Newman's Mirror Collective

Traps

Portcullis

Incendiary Cloud of Prosperity

Objects

Fruit Bowl that is glowing

Bonsai that is glowing

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Falchion

Trident of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

Target is scarred as though he were pressed against a hot screen

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emmanuel Tate "Small Heels" Merchant Painting Paper
Faith Palmer "Meaty Elbows" Mole Money Paperclips
Sophie Kennedy Railroad Conductor Paper Bears
Landon Jones The Body Lipstick Bracelets
Michelle Newman Surgeon Contracts Singing

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).