The Director Welcomes You

The Friction Fire Incident

#6cd4c2

Location

Humid, Breezy Seychelles

Time of Day

19:49

Extraction Point

59 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Crowded Park . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Blue Leech" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the Unicorn Nest". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Polished Apron hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Josephine Cole

Alias

"Blue Leech"

Features

7' 9"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Left arm

Organization

The Clique of Adorable Cat

Emotions

Sorrow

Personality

Cruelly Fat

Motive

Disrupt the military for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Billy the "Rare Pig"

Physical Size

Toy

Story

Additional Locations

The Fulsome Creek

Underground Festival

Vulnerability Chateau

Random Events

Bear Finds gold in the water

Leopard is being loudly arrested

Turtle Is getting confiscated

Water Vessel Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Abraham's Candle Emporium

White's Bookcase Ventures

Watts's Letter Opener Threads

Adams's Basket Labs

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Fireball of Fire

Objects

Candle that has been hollowed out

Letter Opener that has been hollowed out

Secret Bookcase

Hidden Blades

Rock of Fire

Wand of Wonder

Next weapon to wound target is thereafter +1 to hit him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Miguel White "Mad Waffles" Merchant Ice Cubes Lipstick
Madelyn Watts "No Lox" Mole Honey Cousins
Malachi Snyder Graphic Designer Tigers Painting
Abraham Long Lawyer Sailboats Paperclips
Naomi Adams Midwife Dinosaurs Physics

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).