The Director Welcomes You

The Flame Sanitation Incident

#a540c5

Location

Mild, Icy Niger

Time of Day

19:50

Extraction Point

165 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Eyeballs,
I have sent you to the top of a Touristy Reef to look for a suspect by the name "Nice Fairy". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Hollow oak tree".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Fluffy Banana in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brody King

Alias

"Nice Fairy"

Features

5' 6"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Crotch

Organization

The Incorporated of Sadistic Lubricant

Emotions

Comfortable

Personality

Joyously Bewildered

Motive

Take over a country for revenge

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Facetious Mutants"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Straight Circus

Overpopulated Lodge

Good Spirits Mansion

Random Events

Nomad Catches leprosy

Majestic Painting scurries by

Amulet is being loudly arrested

Chanting Cult Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Nathaniel's Drawers Arcade

Delgado's Statuette Threads

Zimmerman's Vase Market

Walsh's Tapestry Labs

Traps

Floor Net

Arrow of Sanitation

Objects

Drawers children's replica

Vase children's replica

Secret Statuette

Hidden Chewing Gum

Arrows of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

Caster can’t speak unless he first turns in a circle

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Wyatt Delgado "One Thumbs" Merchant Rabbits Syrup
Caroline Zimmerman "Bullet Lemons" Mole Chalk Eggs
Rachel Carpenter Plumber Rock n' Roll Drinking
Nathaniel Wolfe Hairdresser Money Soccer
London Walsh Master Distiller Slippers Socks

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).