The Director Welcomes You

The Quick Burn Charade

#c7c315

Location

Mild, Chilly Saudi Arabia

Time of Day

11:51

Extraction Point

6 Miles N

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Kitchen knife made of heavy metal. Get to Saudi Arabia at 11:23

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nathaniel Long

Alias

"Gross Seal"

Features

7' 3"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Division of Tertiary Pincer

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Nicely Jolly

Motive

Make a lot of money to become rich

Bodyguard

Terry the "Slimey Gremlin"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Quick Peninsula

Deserted Sanctuary

Demise Island

Random Events

Chauvinist Catches leprosy

Chauvinist Finds gold in the water

Swarm of Bees is robbed

Chanting Cult Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Trinity's Kitchen knife Technologies

Carpenter's Staircase Mall

Lawson's Metal chair Discount

Becker's Mural Consulting

Traps

Fire

Beehive of Oblivion

Objects

Kitchen knife made of heavy metal

Metal chair children's replica

Secret Staircase

Hidden Sling

Pen of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

Caster is tightly wrapped in a straightjacket

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lily Carpenter "Four Pretzels" Merchant Cookies Scarves
Evelyn Lawson "Fast Waffles" Mole Oranges Glitter
Riley Norman Intoxicated Syrup Fire
Trinity Zimmerman Spirit Writers Easter
Aurora Becker Cobbler Lamps Hamsters

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).