The Director Welcomes You

The Mint Skill Protocol

#3139fc

Location

Gorgeous, Balmy Uruguay

Time of Day

24:58

Extraction Point

189 Miles SE

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Adam Saunders has gone missing and we believe "Short Basilisk" is responsible. They were last seen in Uruguay at 00:11. The agent sent one final message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Tempest". Take this Evil Hammer - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Miguel Bailey

Alias

"Short Basilisk"

Features

4' 5"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Left foot

Organization

The Incorporated of Wrapped Government

Emotions

Dismayed

Personality

Regularly Enlightened

Motive

Make a lot of money for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Chilly Elephants"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Miniature Chateau

Bustling Jungle

Sanitation Reef

Random Events

Dozen Eggs chase a suspect

Bag of Flour Is being tortured

Gunshot Skips merrily

Crowd Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Greyson's Picture Frame Ventures

Cobb's Platter Logistics

Thomas's Hose International

Saunders's Diary Ventures

Traps

Extended Bane

Poison Needle of Skill

Objects

Picture Frame that has been hollowed out

Hose with a False bottom

Secret Platter

Hidden Nipple Clamp

Whip of Skill

Wand of Wonder

If target is slain in the next 24 hours, winter begins at once

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Timothy Cobb "Small Knuckles" Merchant Cooking Octopus
Jameson Thomas "Blue Cheesecakes" Mole Mirrors Cousins
Gianna Bryant Broker Sticks Sponges
Greyson Newton Stressed Jigsaw Puzzles Sharp Things
Adam Saunders Optimistic Football Potatoes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).