The Director Welcomes You

Bazaar Royale

#bedd13

Location

Overcast, Warm Niger

Time of Day

20:27

Extraction Point

44 Miles NE

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Tapestry that is glowing. Get to Niger at 18:20

Good Luck.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jackson Osborne

Alias

"Little gorgon"

Features

5' 1"

Blue eyes

Large moles / Right eye

Organization

The Sisterhood of Young Flavor

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Knavishly Derogatory

Motive

Make a lot of money to be left alone

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Disruptive Anteaters"

Physical Size

Petty

Story

Additional Locations

The Brief Carnival

Desolate Palace

Good Spirits Castle

Random Events

Keg approaches

Pine Branch Is throwing a BBQ

Carcass is heard screaming

Woman Finds gold in the water

World

Stores

Sophie's Tapestry Bazaar

Bates's Hanging Birdcage Discount

Chapman's Bonsai Worldwide

Peters's Toolset Cosmetics

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Portcullis of Euphoria

Objects

Tapestry that is glowing

Bonsai made of heavy metal

Secret Hanging Birdcage

Hidden Rapier

Scimitar of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Next tree touched by caster crumbles to ash in minutes

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Bentley Bates "Black Eyes" Merchant Sharks Snowglobes
Kylie Chapman "No Arms" Mole Whipped Cream Clocks
Steven Robles Flirty Dinosaurs Tigers
Sophie Patton Meteorologist Harmonica Flashlights
Victor Peters Artist Soup Stickers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).