The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Clumsy Prince

#c238e9

Location

Bright, Hot Liechtenstein

Time of Day

21:38

Extraction Point

3 Miles S

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Operatives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Clamp that has been hollowed out. Get to Liechtenstein at 07:22

Good Luck.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alex Weber

Alias

"Fast Gnome"

Features

7' 11"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Crew of Tender Jail

Emotions

Revulsion

Personality

Frightfully Putrid

Motive

Take over a government out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Harrison the "Frilled Hydra"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Clumsy Creek

Pitch Black Business

Freshness Crypt

Random Events

Water Vessel arrives in the mail

German Trench Club Salutes the adventurers

Storm Is frozen into a block of ice

Donkey Is being detained

World

Stores

Antonio's Clamp Little shop

Day's Goblet Collective

Farmer's Candle Factory

Waters's Fireplace Solutions

Traps

Collapsing Column

Hail of Needles of Exuberance

Objects

Clamp that has been hollowed out

Candle with a False bottom

Secret Goblet

Hidden Ring

Falchion of Exuberance

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are stricken mute for 1d6 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Edward Day "White Heels" Merchant Sticky Notes Coffee
Mason Farmer "Left Muscles" Mole Snowglobes Death
Ximena Day Funeral Director Trucks Socks
Antonio Gill Professional Bridesmaid Lipstick Water
Jocelyn Waters Master Distiller Syrup Paperclips

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).