The Director Welcomes You

Supermarket Royale

#5b7784

Location

Cloudless, Rainy Nauru

Time of Day

19:28

Extraction Point

125 Miles NW

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Shadows,
I have sent you to approach a Desolate Nuclear Power Plant to look for a suspect by the name "Slow Cockatrice". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the dancing-trees".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Slippery Nuts and Bolts in your kit to help.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Rylee Newman

Alias

"Slow Cockatrice"

Features

4' 11"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Left arm

Organization

The Board of Nefarious Hen

Emotions

Embarrassed

Personality

Worriedly Dank

Motive

Disrupt the military to save humanity

Bodyguard

Larry the "Gentle Beast"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Hot Fortress

Underwater Lodge

Calming Circus

Random Events

Prostitute overflows

Alligator Glistens gently

Meteor Is accused by the law

Chanting Cult gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Nora's Lipstick Supermarket

Greene's Lamp Atelier

Cortez's Creeping Vines Cosmetics

Deleon's Wardrobe Creative

Traps

Blade Barrier

Poison Dart of Sanitation

Objects

Lipstick with a False bottom

Creeping Vines that has been hollowed out

Secret Lamp

Hidden Pen

Goblet of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

Target is encircled by a zone of pure vacuum

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Vincent Greene "Gross Waffles" Merchant Rocks Sailboats
Harrison Cortez "Three Toes" Mole Video Games Soda
Jameson Marquez Waiter Broccoli Acorns
Nora Floyd Surgeon Doors Notes
Daniela Deleon Cleaner Syrup Shirts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).