The Director Welcomes You

Debt, Effigy, Orifice, Spy.

#a8207b

Location

Wet, Foggy Saudi Arabia

Time of Day

3:27

Extraction Point

161 Miles NW

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Informants,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Underground Maze . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Stiff Vampires" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the Tempest". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Fluffy Blouse hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Naomi Schroeder

Alias

"Stiff Vampires"

Features

4' 6"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Incorporated of Worn Orifice

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Tediously Melted

Motive

Disrupt the military to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Mysterious Yeti"

Physical Size

Sizable

Story

Additional Locations

The Wrapped Festival

Underwater Circus

Fire Creek

Random Events

Box of Cigarette Bursts loudly

Herd of Chicken Attempts to rob a bank

Musical Crashes slowly

Box of Mice Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Gabriel's Footlocker Creative

Boyd's Stamp Set Warehouse

Hoffman's Musical instrument Properties

Moss's Hatrack Labs

Traps

Tripping Chain

Suspicious door with lock of Passion

Objects

Footlocker that has been hollowed out

Musical instrument children's replica

Secret Stamp Set

Hidden Fork

Button of Passion

Wand of Wonder

When caster dies, his corpse turns to densely packed salt

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Asher Boyd "Cheap Brains" Merchant Dolphins Tea
Camila Hoffman "Two Kidneys" Mole Trucks Sun Glasses
Valentina Ryan Graphic Designer Writers Soup
Gabriel Bowers Physician Cartography Bread
Xavier Moss Plumber Children's Stories Flowers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).