The Director Welcomes You

The Spaghetti The Blackest Black Protocol

#741222

Location

Dull, Cloudless Mexico

Time of Day

5:28

Extraction Point

62 Miles NE

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Snoopers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Credenza made of heavy metal. Get to Mexico at 07:17

Good Luck.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Landon Molina

Alias

"No Rhinoceroses"

Features

7' 4"

Green eyes

Small mole / Right middle finger

Organization

The Fraternity of Sovereign Church

Emotions

Happy

Personality

Unnaturally Facetious

Motive

Take over a government to become famous

Bodyguard

Jack the "Delicious Seal"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Rapid Shelter

Touristy Forest

Well-being Masquerade

Random Events

Wedding Cake arrives in the mail

Mutant Calls menacingly

VAT of Broth Salutes the adventurers

Amulet is robbed

World

Stores

Layla's Credenza Consulting

Aguilar's Mantle Du jour

Wilson's Easel Arcade

Glover's Clamp Logistics

Traps

Blade Barrier

Bricks from Ceiling of The Blackest Black

Objects

Credenza made of heavy metal

Easel with a False bottom

Secret Mantle

Hidden Greaves

Hatchet of The Blackest Black

Wand of Wonder

This day hasn’t happened; time is reset to midnight last night

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brianna Aguilar "Fast Pastrami's" Merchant Flashlights Football
Aaliyah Wilson "Junior Forearms" Mole Cousins Coffee
Emilia McBride Angry Writers Notes
Layla Parker Graphic Designer Bracelets Batteries
Nolan Glover Envious Octopus Flashlights

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).