The Director Welcomes You

Operation β€” Bruised Park

#8c8ad9

Location

Sunny, Hot Qatar

Time of Day

5:23

Extraction Point

71 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Jordyn Adkins has gone missing and we believe "Five kobold" is responsible. They were last seen in Qatar at 22:03. The agent sent one final message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Dead Forest". Take this Explosive Blanket - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

β€” The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lillian Juarez

Alias

"Five kobold"

Features

6' 10"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Right eye

Organization

The Council of Purple Cactus

Emotions

Vengeful

Personality

Beautifully Helpful

Motive

Make a lot of money to become famous

Bodyguard

Charles the "Swollen Turtle"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Bruised City

Crowded Pond

Extermination Island

Random Events

Transport Is being kidnapped

Hound Is accused by the law

Amulet Is being tortured

Lactose Intolerance Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Riley's File Threads

White's Mounted Animal Couture

Cross's Potted Plant Technologies

Adkins's Potted Plant Du jour

Traps

Floor Net

Arrow of Annihilation

Objects

File children's replica

Potted Plant children's replica

Secret Mounted Animal

Hidden Diary

Greaves of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

Target feels as though he’s having a baby

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Leo White "Small Thumbs" Merchant Harmonica Doves
August Cross "Quiet Pretzels" Mole Flashlights Contracts
Blake Stanley Soul Cooking Plushies
Riley Barrett Depressed Socks Dinosaurs
Jordyn Adkins Frustrated Horses Coffee

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).