The Director Welcomes You

Activity, Acid, Burlesque, Spy.

#0f6280

Location

Sunny, Sunny Liechtenstein

Time of Day

12:8

Extraction Point

182 Miles SW

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Detectives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Footlocker children's replica. Get to Liechtenstein at 09:15

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Amy Floyd

Alias

"Drowsy Mummy"

Features

4' 2"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Neck

Organization

The Society of Melodic Burlesque

Emotions

Bored

Personality

Urgently Cerulean

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Ali the "Moist Koalas"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Scaley Palace

Overpopulated Citadel

Amnesia Carousal

Random Events

Gunshot Becomes wounded

Bard Strikes the church bell

Wedding Cake Bounces oddly

Cauldron gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Harrison's Footlocker Collective

Shaw's Plaster Bust Supermarket

Horton's Fire poker set Labs

Young's Hat Beauty Stop

Traps

Hail of Needles

Flooding Room of Bravery

Objects

Footlocker children's replica

Fire poker set made of heavy metal

Secret Plaster Bust

Hidden Newspaper

Hammers of Bravery

Wand of Wonder

One of target’s limbs falls off and tries to escape

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Reese Shaw "Left Arms" Merchant Soccer Lipstick
Jocelyn Horton "Right Pinky's" Mole Harmonica Bells
Tristan Parks Professional Bridesmaid Glitter Rock n' Roll
Harrison Gardner Cleaner Sticky Notes Boxes
Vincent Young Artist Video Games Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).