The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Nutritious Spoon

#884083

Location

Gorgeous, Gorgeous Saudi Arabia

Time of Day

18:22

Extraction Point

48 Miles NW

Time to Complete

1 Hours

Agents,
It seems "The Mongoose" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Garden of Bears". We need you to eliminate them, Offensively. Their last known location was recorded at 09:19. You have a Robotic Paint as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Easton Love

Alias

"The Mongoose"

Features

7' 4"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Left leg

Organization

The Bunch of Sclerotic Squirrel

Emotions

Tender

Personality

Offensively Tasteless

Motive

Disrupt the military in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Tony the "Sovereign Lion"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Nutritious Masquerade

Polluted Carousal

Calamity Sanctuary

Random Events

Horse Carriage Is getting confiscated

Princess arrives in the mail

Crow runs over an infant

Spice Box Bursts loudly

World

Stores

Leilani's Lamp Properties

Curtis's Chaise Worldwide

Lucas's Bonsai Hole

Tucker's Picture Frame Technologies

Traps

Collapsing Column

Suspicious door with lock of Well-being

Objects

Lamp that has been hollowed out

Bonsai with a False bottom

Secret Chaise

Hidden Coin

Newspaper of Well-being

Wand of Wonder

A pitiable demon appears at the target point, begging sanctuary

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lilly Curtis "Junior Knuckles" Merchant Eggs Hamsters
Dawson Lucas "Stiff Hearts" Mole Sun Glasses Tigers
Thomas Lane Art Therapist Paperclips Hamsters
Leilani Nguyen Plumber Candles Photography
Melody Tucker Intoxicated Lions Doves

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).