The Director Welcomes You

The Orifice Secrecy Incident

#12726b

Location

Dry, Bright The Bahamas

Time of Day

14:28

Extraction Point

138 Miles S

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Investigators,
As you can see you are trapped inside the outside of a Underground Private Jet plane . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "All Demon" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shadow passes at the Garden of Bears". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Heavy Armchair hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maverick Vaughn

Alias

"All Demon"

Features

6' 11"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Sorority of Constipated Parking Lot

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Elegantly Chewy

Motive

Take over a government to become rich

Bodyguard

Nick the "Brief Cat"

Physical Size

Small-scale

Story

Additional Locations

The Microscopic Lodge

Abandoned Tower

Reservation Peninsula

Random Events

Beggar Integrates silently into the group

Hoard drops from the sky

Milk Shipment Is being kidnapped

Swarm of Bees stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Guy's Clamp Unlimited

Pratt's Rubber Plant Emporium

Greene's Pedestal Consulting

Vazquez's Flower in Vase Consulting

Traps

Ice lock

Flooded Corridor of Secrecy

Objects

Clamp made of heavy metal

Pedestal made of heavy metal

Secret Rubber Plant

Hidden Pants

Cutlass of Secrecy

Wand of Wonder

Target can ingest and digest small quantities of glass

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jaxson Pratt "Cramped Eyes" Merchant Death Trucks
Joel Greene "Small Parmigianas" Mole Hammers Mirrors
Messiah Jordan Surveyor Flowers Hamsters
Guy Pratt Plumber Soup Lipstick
Anna Vazquez Firefighter Contracts Doves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).