The Director Welcomes You

The Bed Peace Protocol

#053fde

Location

Gloomy, Balmy Laos

Time of Day

10:43

Extraction Point

64 Miles SW

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Operatives,
We need your help. Agent Cameron Barrett has gone missing and we believe "Tough Vampires" is responsible. They were last seen in Laos at 01:21. The agent sent one final message – "A pool of blood at the Grove of Weeping Willows". Take this Colorful Banana - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jeremiah Cross

Alias

"Tough Vampires"

Features

7' 3"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Association of Better Arithmetic

Emotions

Weary

Personality

Zestfully Howling

Motive

Disrupt the military to lust for power

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Irrelevant Griffin"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Broad Forge

Overpopulated Manor

Destiny Festival

Random Events

Baker emerges

Bunny Is frozen into a block of ice

Sewer Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Cauldron Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Ryker's Kitchen table Labs

Avila's Coat Consulting

Bishop's Iron stove Supermarket

Barrett's Letter Opener Wardrobe

Traps

Collapsing Column

Rolling Rock of Peace

Objects

Kitchen table children's replica

Iron stove children's replica

Secret Coat

Hidden Pants

Stave of Peace

Wand of Wonder

When caster dies, 10d10 voles burst from his corpse

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zion Avila "Short Throats" Merchant Bread Sticks
Landon Bishop "Violet Pastrami's" Mole Flashlights Trees
Liliana Garza Actor Flowers Batteries
Ryker Potter Librarian Television Essential Oils
Cameron Barrett Librarian Harmonica Mirrors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).