The Director Welcomes You

Beauty Stop Royale

#a9e509

Location

Rainy, Dark Yemen

Time of Day

24:24

Extraction Point

88 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to circle a Compact Mansion to look for a suspect by the name "Tough child". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Tempest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Invisible Tissues in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mila Cross

Alias

"Tough child"

Features

7' 4"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Crotch

Organization

The Society of Obnoxious Luge

Emotions

Grief-stricken

Personality

Gracefully Warm

Motive

Take over a government to become the best

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Encrusted Serpent"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Future Festival

Deserted Business

Catastrophe Fortress

Random Events

Butter Shipment overflows

Mutant drops from the sky

Midwife Bounces oddly

Potato explodes

World

Stores

Diego's Pair of Statues Beauty Stop

Espinoza's Staircase Chic Chåteau

Russell's Chaise Cosmetics

Salinas's Tea Set Worldwide

Traps

Acid Arrow

Flooded Corridor of Censorship

Objects

Pair of Statues made of heavy metal

Chaise that is glowing

Secret Staircase

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Wrench of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Everyone who knows the target’s name fears him for 3d10 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Messiah Espinoza "Indigo Lemons" Merchant Balloons Money
Sophie Russell "Fast Spleens" Mole Dinosaurs Cellphones
Emmanuel Vega Townsfolk Baseball Octopus
Diego Ferguson Intoxicated Socks Chickens
Santiago Salinas Broker Lipstick Candy

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).