The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Stoned Lubricant

#c928b5

Location

Balmy, Cool Chad

Time of Day

4:56

Extraction Point

27 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

12 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Amir Burton has gone missing and we believe "Fat Mummy" is responsible. They were last seen in Chad at 09:17. The agent sent one final message – "A shadow passes at the Painted Sands". Take this Soft Headphones - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ella Sutton

Alias

"Fat Mummy"

Features

5' 1"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Crotch

Organization

The Task Force of Aggressive Activity

Emotions

Panicked

Personality

Neatly Scarce

Motive

Take over a government to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Juan the "Strong Siren"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Stoned Circus

Expensive Acropolis

Prosperity Carnival

Random Events

Nearby Gas Tank is heard screaming

Amulet screams at the top of their lungs

VAT of Broth Bounces oddly

Prostitute Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Margaret's Iron stove Factory

Erickson's Ring Du jour

Thornton's Hat Chic Chåteau

Burton's Bench Creative

Traps

Dropping Ceiling

Flooded Corridor of Pleasure

Objects

Iron stove with a False bottom

Hat children's replica

Secret Ring

Hidden Bracelet

Blowgun of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

Caster distrusts anyone who won’t let him examine their teeth

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cole Erickson "Mini Thumbs" Merchant Octopus Mirrors
Mary Thornton "Mad Kidneys" Mole Sharks Doors
Samantha Mullins Butcher Slippers Cousins
Margaret Robertson Lawyer Doves Stickers
Amir Burton Cranky Shirts Bears

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).