The Director Welcomes You

Who is Joseph Sludge?

#01502e

Location

Dark, Dry Suriname

Time of Day

22:29

Extraction Point

152 Miles NW

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Operatives,
We need your help. Agent Morgan Henry has gone missing and we believe "King Sea Lion" is responsible. They were last seen in Suriname at 15:24. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the dancing-trees". Take this Rusty Purse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Matteo Caldwell

Alias

"King Sea Lion"

Features

6' 4"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Club of Scruffy Player

Emotions

Angry

Personality

Successfully Scaley

Motive

Make a lot of money for a love interest

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Empty Succubus"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Big Acropolis

Underground Mansion

Pleasure Jungle

Random Events

Odor approaches

Prostitute Becomes wounded

Prostitute Is being detained

Mutant Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

World

Stores

Anastasia's Tea Set Properties

Hall's File Wardrobe

Solis's Lamp Specialities

Henry's Spare brick Bazaar

Traps

Hail of Needles

Ghoul Touch of Prosperity

Objects

Tea Set children's replica

Lamp children's replica

Secret File

Hidden Spear

Blindfold of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

All magic weapons within 100 yards are non-magical for 1d4 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dominic Hall "Stiff Pinky's" Merchant Candles Hamsters
Abel Solis "Cramped Tongues" Mole Butterflies Coffee
George King Butcher Broccoli Pillows
Anastasia Boyd Art Therapist Slippers Harmonica
Morgan Henry Exhilarated Scarves Rocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).