The Director Welcomes You
Who is Donald Variety?
#0d002c
Spy Deputies, It seems "Wild Orcs" has gone level 1. They have been broadcasting this message "A shadow passes at the Wizard's Scar". We need you to eliminate them, Mockingly. Their last known location was recorded at 06:20. You have a Slippery Calculator as a last resort. Use carefully.
— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.
Sawyer Ortega
"Wild Orcs"
5' 8"
Amber eyes
Faint curved scar / Right foot
The Office of Didactic Mother
Irritated
Mockingly Few
Make a lot of money to lust for power
Donald the "Mammoth Turtle"
Hefty
The Feisty House
Expensive Castle
Censorship Lodge
Drunk Bounces oddly
Crowd chase a suspect
Pine Branch chase a suspect
Safe strikes the ground
Leonardo's Plaster Bust Wardrobe
Goodman's Bell Closet
Dean's Watch Du jour
Day's Candlesticks Solutions
Ray of Sickness
Wall Blade of Excitement
Plaster Bust that is glowing
Watch that is glowing
Secret Bell
Hidden Sabre
Helmet of Excitement
Target can’t be burned by steam while he’s wearing boots or shoes
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Emmanuel Goodman | "Cramped Matzo Balls" | Merchant | Trucks | Plushies |
| Khloe Dean | "Golden Muscles" | Mole | Quartz Crystals | Hamsters |
| Caroline Oconnor | Indifferent | Lamps | Essential Oils | |
| Leonardo Mejia | Townsfolk | Tigers | Shirts | |
| Taylor Day | Consultant | Soup | Plushies |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).