The Director Welcomes You

The Friends Peace Incident

#aeab57

Location

Windy, Bright Bahrain

Time of Day

4:35

Extraction Point

37 Miles N

Time to Complete

37 Hours

Examiners,
I have sent you to enter a Ancient Castle to look for a suspect by the name "Italian Elephant". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A lone flower growing at the Eye of Heaven".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Delicate Brush in your kit to help.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nolan Cruz

Alias

"Italian Elephant"

Features

4' 8"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Division of Tiring Poodle

Emotions

Indifferent

Personality

Frantically Silly

Motive

Take over a country because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Weak Imp"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Cooling Shelter

Expensive Peninsula

Exuberance House

Random Events

Buccaneer Integrates silently into the group

Fairy Balances on a ledge

Meteor Bursts loudly

Chicken Is accused by the law

World

Stores

Noah's Chaise Labs

Wang's Toolset Emporium

Gutierrez's Pipe Bazaar

Newman's Toolset Brothers

Traps

Arrow

Bestow Curse of Peace

Objects

Chaise with a False bottom

Pipe that is glowing

Secret Toolset

Hidden Polearm

Coif of Peace

Wand of Wonder

Caster is wearing blood-soaked surgical gloves

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Marcus Wang "Blue Lungs" Merchant Cookies Sponges
Ruby Gutierrez "Small Cheesecakes" Mole Dice Rubber Stamps
Austin Wang Consultant Limes Video Games
Noah Phillips Exhausted Oranges Television
Vivian Newman Veterinarian Honey Sharks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).