The Director Welcomes You

Who is Randy Furniture?

#4e8b4d

Location

Bright, Foul Bulgaria

Time of Day

3:52

Extraction Point

134 Miles N

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Eyeballs,
I have sent you to descend into Expensive Forest to look for a suspect by the name "Violet Troll". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to uncover their plans. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Where grass will not grow".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Mechanical Banana in your kit to help.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maddox Williamson

Alias

"Violet Troll"

Features

6' 4"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Company of Surly Coop

Emotions

Exasperated

Personality

Urgently Luminous

Motive

Take over a country to please their master

Bodyguard

Randy the "Facetious Worm"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Brave Festival

Pitch Black Isle

Ruin Crypt

Random Events

Vegetable meets disaster

Hound skins a cat with his teeth

Box of Mice approaches

Reindeer Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Aliyah's Footlocker Outlet

Daniel's Tea Pot Cosmetics

Bennett's Statue Chic Chåteau

Murphy's Hanging Birdcage Properties

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Reverse Gravity of Calamity

Objects

Footlocker that is glowing

Statue made of heavy metal

Secret Tea Pot

Hidden Polearm

Pen of Calamity

Wand of Wonder

Target exudes a scent that inspires attracts bats

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ayden Daniel "Junior Spleens" Merchant Ice Cubes Clocks
Payton Bennett "Orange Pretzels" Mole Gym Memberships Lions
Rose Bauer Demon Soda Contracts
Aliyah Burns Midwife Slippers Trucks
Nova Murphy Electrician Doors Paper

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).