The Director Welcomes You

Who is Al Voice?

#285571

Location

Arid, Overcast Lithuania

Time of Day

18:25

Extraction Point

42 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Anastasia Montgomery has gone missing and we believe "Two Orcs" is responsible. They were last seen in Lithuania at 13:02. The agent sent one final message – "A thick fog rolls in at the Tempest". Take this Evil Calculator - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Harmony Burton

Alias

"Two Orcs"

Features

5' 1"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Crotch

Organization

The Clique of Glamorous Donkey Dick

Emotions

Eager

Personality

Roughly Few

Motive

Disrupt the military because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Al the "Dubious Sprite"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Slimey Spring

Abandoned Isle

Weakness Jungle

Random Events

Hound approaches

Safe Skips merrily

Dancer Is being detained

Chunk of Beef Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Andrea's Crate Group

Simon's Pipe Wardrobe

Freeman's Paperweight Emporium

Montgomery's Sofa Technologies

Traps

Acid Arrow

Acid Fog of Grave Consequences

Objects

Crate that has been hollowed out

Paperweight that has been hollowed out

Secret Pipe

Hidden Katana

Hatchet of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he’s being consumed by invisible worms

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Miles Simon "Casual Pinky's" Merchant Broccoli Butterflies
Caleb Freeman "Five Noses" Mole Photography Tigers
Margaret Rodriguez Bounty hunter Slippers Rubber Bands
Andrea Casey Psychiatrist Limes Tea
Anastasia Montgomery Lawyer Chili Bracelets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).