The Director Welcomes You

Properties Royale

#c015e4

Location

Chilly, Rainy Chad

Time of Day

20:16

Extraction Point

33 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Agents,
We need your help. Agent Skylar Rose has gone missing and we believe "Tough Kaiju" is responsible. They were last seen in Chad at 21:07. The agent sent one final message – "The earth shakes briefly at the graveyard". Take this Beautiful Bolt Cutter - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jacob Neal

Alias

"Tough Kaiju"

Features

7' 2"

Gray eyes

A second belly button / Left hand

Organization

The Firm of Rotten Love

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Beautifully Engorged

Motive

Take over a government to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Randy the "Wooden Pig"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Delicious Park

Touristy Creek

Fate Palace

Random Events

Bank Is being kidnapped

Herd of Chicken Skips merrily

Turtle gathers near a point of interest

Gunshot Glistens gently

World

Stores

Adeline's Paperweight Properties

Bowen's Oil Lamp Discount

Wang's Pan Bureau

Rose's Key Atelier

Traps

Black Tentacles

Lightning Bolt of Euphoria

Objects

Paperweight that is glowing

Pan that is glowing

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Necklace

Rapier of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s face and head are covered by a tight shell of fetid wax

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Reese Bowen "Right Muscles" Merchant Video Games Easter
Isla Wang "Big Dumplings" Mole Honey Death
Valentina Flores Acupuncturist Harmonica Music
Adeline Schroeder Talent agent Attention Candles
Skylar Rose Geologist Rubber Stamps Butterflies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).