The Director Welcomes You

The Strawberry Rage Incident

#674e04

Location

Windy, Gorgeous Panama

Time of Day

8:51

Extraction Point

106 Miles NW

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Mad Vampires" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "The earth shakes briefly at the Field of Wildflowers". We need you to eliminate them, Obediently. Their last known location was recorded at 01:18. You have a Feminine Hot Glue Gun as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jace Meyer

Alias

"Mad Vampires"

Features

7' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Left hand

Organization

The Society of Damaged Knowledge

Emotions

Hostile

Personality

Obediently Fastidious

Motive

Disrupt the military for honor

Bodyguard

Sam the "Sour Kaiju"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Bloody Grove

Deserted Shelter

Power Acropolis

Random Events

Gallon of Trash gathers near a point of interest

Herd of Chicken Is frozen into a block of ice

Leopard runs over an infant

Safe Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Valentina's Glass Jars Logistics

Reynolds's Staircase Technologies

Richards's Shirt Unlimited

Lloyd's Chaise Hole

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Ceiling Pendulum of Rage

Objects

Glass Jars made of heavy metal

Shirt that has been hollowed out

Secret Staircase

Hidden Notebook

Book of Rage

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s spellbook is written entirely in purple crayon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Marcus Reynolds "Five Dumplings" Merchant Trucks Jazz
Marcus Richards "Obese Pinky's" Mole Money Peanut Butter
Aliyah Mann Cheerful Washing Machines Hammers
Valentina Lindsey Dentist Soup Paperclips
Mila Lloyd Journalist Bears Singing

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).