The Director Welcomes You

The Theory Virtue Protocol

#242993

Location

Windless, Breezy Vatican City

Time of Day

21:52

Extraction Point

37 Miles SW

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to approach a Pitch Black Volcano to look for a suspect by the name "Cheap starfish". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Top of the carousel wheel".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Sharp Balloon in your kit to help.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Taylor Page

Alias

"Cheap starfish"

Features

4' 3"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Right middle finger

Organization

The Agency of Ugly Movie

Emotions

Shamed

Personality

Devotedly Slatted

Motive

Make a lot of money to be left alone

Bodyguard

George the "Long Pheonix"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Depressed City

Pitch Black Suburbs

Indecision Circus

Random Events

Bank Adopts a nearby child

Woman Attempts to rob a bank

Tramp Is frozen into a block of ice

Rustler approaches

World

Stores

Joshua's Goblet Industries

Fletcher's Drawers Closet

Kennedy's File Collective

McGuire's Loveseat Labs

Traps

Portcullis

Beehive of Virtue

Objects

Goblet that is glowing

File made of heavy metal

Secret Drawers

Hidden Bangle

Diary of Virtue

Wand of Wonder

Tomorrow, caster meets someone who tries to eat his eyes

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Beau Fletcher "Fat Elbows" Merchant Flowers Chalk
Charlotte Kennedy "Mad Cappuccinos" Mole Butterflies Lions
Robin Howard Athlete Glitter Easter
Joshua Foster Operator Painting Trees
Nathaniel McGuire Sad Candy Syrup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).