The Director Welcomes You

Outlet Royale

#ea0181

Location

Foul, Foggy Iraq

Time of Day

16:27

Extraction Point

184 Miles NE

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Meddlers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Candle that is glowing. Get to Iraq at 18:06

Good Luck.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ariel Vazquez

Alias

"Yellow Sloth"

Features

6' 9"

Red eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The Division of Scruffy Friends

Emotions

Shocked

Personality

Lovingly Infantile

Motive

Take over a government to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Obnoxious Gnome"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Clacking Island

Bustling Manor

Extinction City

Random Events

Hoard Is getting confiscated

Pickpocket drops from the sky

Druid Catches leprosy

Building meets disaster

World

Stores

Charles's Candle Outlet

Alvarado's Toolset Warehouse

Norris's Bonsai Hole

Contreras's Sink Supermarket

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Fire of Delirium

Objects

Candle that is glowing

Bonsai made of heavy metal

Secret Toolset

Hidden Button

Gauntlet of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby tries to swallow his own arm, elbow first

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Damian Alvarado "All Ribs" Merchant Quartz Crystals Batteries
Emmanuel Norris "Plump Pinky's" Mole Cartography Dinosaurs
Madison Harrison Angry Doors Jazz
Charles Burton Frustrated Soda Easter
Miguel Contreras Funeral Director Squirrels Bracelets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).