The Director Welcomes You

The Caustic Smoke Insecurity

#3c0252

Location

Sunny, Chilly Germany

Time of Day

11:58

Extraction Point

158 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to the bottom of a Abandoned Chateau to look for a suspect by the name "Small Kangaroos". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Clouds develop quickly at the old bridge".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Slippery Screwdriver in your kit to help.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jeremiah Reynolds

Alias

"Small Kangaroos"

Features

7' 3"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Authority of Tropical Tapestry

Emotions

Content

Personality

Judgementally Damaged

Motive

Make a lot of money to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Fugly Roc"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Caustic Lagoon

Abandoned Port

Exuberance Jungle

Random Events

Vegetable Crashes slowly

Chauvinist overflows

Lactose Intolerance chase a suspect

Corncob Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Arianna's Statuette Properties

Ortega's Bureau Bureau

Stanley's Crock Specialities

Park's Cabinet Technologies

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Insanity Mist Vapor of Animosity

Objects

Statuette that has been hollowed out

Crock that has been hollowed out

Secret Bureau

Hidden Knife

Mace of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

A foot-long steel bar runs completely through the caster’s thigh

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Giovanni Ortega "Quiet Bones" Merchant Squirrels Baseball
London Stanley "One Cheesecakes" Mole Mirrors Water
Judy Fletcher Drummer Houses Deodorant
Arianna Wang Annoyed Broccoli Cats
Liliana Park Weakened Soap Soap

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).