The Director Welcomes You

The Annually Cheap Agent

#901ca8

Location

Sunny, Overcast Denmark

Time of Day

4:36

Extraction Point

128 Miles SE

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Meddlers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Iron stove with a False bottom. Get to Denmark at 07:21

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jesus Smith

Alias

"Four Yeti"

Features

5' 9"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Left middle finger

Organization

The Gang of Fugly Skin

Emotions

Self-conscious

Personality

Annually Comical

Motive

Take over a government to save humanity

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Sinful Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Cheap Tower

Touristy Manor

Fate Park

Random Events

Cat approaches

Drunk Finds gold in the water

Lactose Intolerance Is accused by the law

VAT of Broth meets disaster

World

Stores

Ian's Iron stove International

Oconnor's Wingback chair Properties

Armstrong's Tapestry Productions

Dawson's Doorway Creative

Traps

Suspicious door with lock

Scything Blade of Imperfection

Objects

Iron stove with a False bottom

Tapestry children's replica

Secret Wingback chair

Hidden Dagger

Mace of Imperfection

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he can summon Earth Elementals by eating dirt

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Penelope Oconnor "Nice Dumplings" Merchant Whipped Cream Trees
Valerie Armstrong "One Bones" Mole Oranges Shirts
Allison Shaw Sad Jigsaw Puzzles Teeth
Ian Graham Shadow Comic Books Television
Messiah Dawson Frustrated Lipstick Easter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).