The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Tasteless Mailbox

#9eafe3

Location

Warm, Dull Belgium

Time of Day

15:53

Extraction Point

181 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Scrutinizers,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Expensive Lodge . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Heavy Bat" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shadow passes at the Broken Face". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Dull Spoon hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alice Thornton

Alias

"Heavy Bat"

Features

5' 3"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Right leg

Organization

The Guild of Mysterious Island

Emotions

Rejected

Personality

Gratefully Irksome

Motive

Take over a government because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Terry the "Revolting Sprite"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Tasteless City

Abandoned Business

Joy Forest

Random Events

Delivery Guy Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Lactose Intolerance Is being tortured

Pack of Wild Dogs Is throwing a BBQ

Bum explodes

World

Stores

Charlotte's Shirt Emporium

Hunter's Bench Boutique

Craig's Iron stove Emporium

Clarke's Tea Pot Beauty Stop

Traps

Hail of Needles

Portcullis of Secrecy

Objects

Shirt that is glowing

Iron stove made of heavy metal

Secret Bench

Hidden Sling

Sling of Secrecy

Wand of Wonder

Target races toward the caster and begs to be killed

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ryker Hunter "Indigo Falafels" Merchant Tigers Rabbits
Serenity Craig "All Falafels" Mole Doves Limes
David Cole Broker Coffee Flashlights
Charlotte Sullivan Vision Water Soup
Connor Clarke Dog surfing instructor Peanut Butter Boxes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).