The Director Welcomes You

The Boned Plunger Pilgrimmage

#1a9516

Location

Breezy, Balmy Azerbaijan

Time of Day

1:12

Extraction Point

169 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "Slow Zombie" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "Distant sounds of screaming at the Ancient Fountain". We need you to eliminate them, Cleverly. Their last known location was recorded at 20:24. You have a Slippery Calculator as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jesse Weaver

Alias

"Slow Zombie"

Features

7' 9"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Committee of Melted Pole

Emotions

Sorrow

Personality

Cleverly Refined

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

James the "Brave Gremlin"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Boned Chateau

Archaic Reef

Imperfection Lagoon

Random Events

Cauldron Glistens gently

Druid Is throwing a BBQ

Bottle of Soy Sauce arrives in the mail

Transport Is being tortured

World

Stores

Hannah's Toolset Du jour

Harris's Certificate Arcade

Pena's Pair of Statues Labs

Leon's Portrait Hole

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Large Net of Censorship

Objects

Toolset children's replica

Pair of Statues made of heavy metal

Secret Certificate

Hidden Trident

Crossbow of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Target’s knees and elbows can’t straighten to more than 120°

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Evelyn Harris "Golden Bagels" Merchant Soccer Tigers
Ruby Pena "Bullet Parmigianas" Mole Sticky Notes Basketball
Justin Jennings Cheerful Shirts Lamps
Hannah Gonzalez Plumber Trees Washing Machines
Eli Leon Bruised Snowglobes Glass

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).