The Director Welcomes You

The Area Extermination Protocol

#1ccd61

Location

Arid, Rainy Singapore

Time of Day

4:20

Extraction Point

185 Miles SE

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Beau Jones has gone missing and we believe "Indigo Pegasus" is responsible. They were last seen in Singapore at 21:00. The agent sent one final message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the witch's mound". Take this Glowing Bible - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Fiona Nichols

Alias

"Indigo Pegasus"

Features

5' 8"

Red eyes

Large moles / Left leg

Organization

The Sisterhood of Jocular Snake

Emotions

Shocked

Personality

Tensely Itchy

Motive

Take over a government for revenge

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Adorable Ghost"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Poor Shelter

Pitch Black Reef

Calming Lagoon

Random Events

VAT of Broth Is frozen into a block of ice

Beggar overflows

Ninja Is throwing a protest

Demon is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Juliana's Metal chair Group

Norris's Workbench Labs

Roberts's Paperweight Industries

Jones's Candelabra Labs

Traps

Fireball

Arrow of Extermination

Objects

Metal chair with a False bottom

Paperweight with a False bottom

Secret Workbench

Hidden Spear

Handcuffs of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards think that all others nearby are on fire

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jesse Norris "Mad Cheesecakes" Merchant Dice Paper
Jasmine Roberts "Small Pinky's" Mole Broccoli Socks
Lydia McDonald Restless Honey Broccoli
Juliana Gordon Geologist Slippers Physics
Beau Jones Dentist Quartz Crystals Glass

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).