The Director Welcomes You

Breasts, Tree, Worm, Spy.

#bf8148

Location

Frigid, Windless Albania

Time of Day

5:45

Extraction Point

78 Miles W

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Emmett Chandler has gone missing and we believe "One Demon" is responsible. They were last seen in Albania at 04:22. The agent sent one final message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the ruined castle". Take this Glowing Balloon - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Anna Salinas

Alias

"One Demon"

Features

6' 11"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Right middle finger

Organization

The Alliance of Mealy Worm

Emotions

Disgraced

Personality

Sweetly Flabby

Motive

Take over a government because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Al the "Rotten Leech"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Boiled Creek

Bustling Palace

Destiny Chateau

Random Events

Mutant emerges

Milk Shipment Protests

Alligator Calls menacingly

Nearby Gas Tank drops from the sky

World

Stores

Josiah's Hatrack Boutique

Carpenter's Faberge Egg Consulting

Higgins's Statue Department store

Chandler's Desk Industries

Traps

Rolling Rock

Tripping Chain of Bliss

Objects

Hatrack with a False bottom

Statue made of heavy metal

Secret Faberge Egg

Hidden Katana

Staff of Bliss

Wand of Wonder

Caster smells faintly of cabbage

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mila Carpenter "Sharp Falafels" Merchant Shirts Harmonica
Candace Higgins "Drowsy Fingers" Mole Socks Sponges
Xander Lee Dentist Mirrors Bracelets
Josiah Fleming Chef Soap Dinosaurs
Emmett Chandler Dead Tired Eggs Cookies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).