The Director Welcomes You

The Orifice Destiny Incident

#3c6e7e

Location

Bright, Warm Luxembourg

Time of Day

2:11

Extraction Point

105 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Natalia Jacobs has gone missing and we believe "King Dragon" is responsible. They were last seen in Luxembourg at 24:01. The agent sent one final message – "A roll of thunder at the Apple Orchard". Take this Invisible Apron - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Michael Bradley

Alias

"King Dragon"

Features

5' 1"

Green eyes

Faint curved scar / Right leg

Organization

The Gang of Serpentine Toes

Emotions

Liking

Personality

Usually Incendiary

Motive

Take over a country for a love interest

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Chipper Giraffe"

Physical Size

Substantial

Story

Additional Locations

The Incalculable Villa

Desolate Lagoon

Contentment Suburbs

Random Events

Vagabond stop the party and asks questions

Cat Bounces oddly

Demon Catches leprosy

Carcass is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Isabelle's Ring Factory

Mack's Tapestry Solutions

Foster's Armoir Industries

Jacobs's Metal chair Hole

Traps

Ghoul Touch

Flame Strike of Destiny

Objects

Ring with a False bottom

Armoir with a False bottom

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Arrows

Knife of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

All who saw this casting are unable to sleep for 2d10 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jacob Mack "Slow Hands" Merchant Trucks Easter
Ryder Foster "Slow Spleens" Mole Trees Broccoli
Lyla Adams Accountant Hammers Snowglobes
Isabelle Montgomery Frustrated Rock n' Roll Bells
Natalia Jacobs Technician Broccoli Teeth

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).