The Director Welcomes You

Who is Charles Turkey?

#75c756

Location

Foggy, Foggy Sudan, South

Time of Day

12:25

Extraction Point

44 Miles SW

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Informants,
It seems "Plump Armadillo" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the ruined castle". We need you to eliminate them, Quirkily. Their last known location was recorded at 24:18. You have a Slippery Hammer as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Morgan Gonzalez

Alias

"Plump Armadillo"

Features

6' 1"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Neck

Organization

The Crew of Hollow Dirigible

Emotions

Excited

Personality

Quirkily Repulsive

Motive

Make a lot of money to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Charles the "Unsightly Lion"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Stocky Suburbs

Compact Carnival

Calming Palace

Random Events

Herd of Chicken runs over an infant

Robber overflows

Thief Is accused by the law

Deadbeat Is being tortured

World

Stores

Carter's Lamp Factory

Owens's Platter Group

Hogan's Sink Cosmetics

Alvarez's Marionette Technologies

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Poison Dart of Dark

Objects

Lamp that has been hollowed out

Sink that has been hollowed out

Secret Platter

Hidden Shield

Shield of Dark

Wand of Wonder

Next person wounded by target must Save or be stricken mute

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Harmony Owens "Golden Matzo Balls" Merchant Acorns Jazz
Xavier Hogan "Two Eyes" Mole Children's Stories Water
Mya Munoz Bounty hunter Cousins Hamsters
Carter Hodges Professional Cuddler Soda Shirts
Lily Alvarez Cobbler Deodorant Chalk

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).