The Director Welcomes You

The Bravely Constipated Agent

#78e387

Location

Windy, Cloudless Poland

Time of Day

17:10

Extraction Point

64 Miles W

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Informants,
As you can see you are trapped inside be locked inside of a Expensive Fortress . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Golden Abominable Snowman" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A thick fog rolls in at the Tempest". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Rusty File hidden on you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sophia Sherman

Alias

"Golden Abominable Snowman"

Features

7' 2"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Division of Common Insurance

Emotions

Humiliated

Personality

Bravely Victorious

Motive

Make a lot of money to lust for power

Bodyguard

Ralphie the "Weak Owlman"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Constipated Festival

Underground Forest

Exuberance Grove

Random Events

Demon Integrates silently into the group

Thief overflows

Squirrel stop the party and asks questions

Swarm of Bees meets disaster

World

Stores

Morgan's Spice shelf Ventures

Sims's Musical instrument Ventures

Ferguson's Doorway Ventures

Thompson's Mantle Arcade

Traps

Crushing Room

Burning Hands of Cleanliness

Objects

Spice shelf with a False bottom

Doorway with a False bottom

Secret Musical instrument

Hidden Morning Star

Cutlass of Cleanliness

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, his Charisma is 3 until dawn

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hudson Sims "Black Falafels" Merchant Tigers Singing
Jaxson Ferguson "Obese Arms" Mole Honey Harmonica
Bennett Osborne Firefighter Doves Balloons
Morgan Craig Engineer Whipped Cream Glass
Matthew Thompson Librarian Basketball Rock n' Roll

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).