The Director Welcomes You

The Hot Expiration Protocol

#e870b4

Location

Bright, Hot Malawi

Time of Day

12:52

Extraction Point

79 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "Blue Dolphin" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Underwater cave". We need you to eliminate them, Beautifully. Their last known location was recorded at 08:02. You have a Fluffy Clamp as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maria Simmons

Alias

"Blue Dolphin"

Features

6' 4"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right thumb

Organization

The League of Tenacious Security

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Beautifully Handsome

Motive

Take over a government because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Johnny the "Prehensile Dragon"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Scaley Carnival

Desolate Tower

Calming Circus

Random Events

Soup Calls menacingly

Softball Strikes the church bell

Box of Cigarette screams at the top of their lungs

Odor is robbed

World

Stores

Beau's Iron stove Unlimited

Wade's Portrait Beauty Stop

Chavez's Pocket watch Emporium

Knight's Candelabra Little shop

Traps

Burning Hands

Acid Arrow of Expiration

Objects

Iron stove that has been hollowed out

Pocket watch with a False bottom

Secret Portrait

Hidden Bracer

Hatchet of Expiration

Wand of Wonder

Target can subsist on mud, but it tastes incredibly foul to him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zoe Wade "Little Livers" Merchant Oranges Limes
Giovanni Chavez "Chunky Bones" Mole Potatoes Butterflies
Nevaeh Maxwell Broker Potatoes Candy
Beau Garcia Meteorologist Books Gym Memberships
Charlotte Knight Farmer Cats Ice Cubes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).