The Director Welcomes You

The Righteously Mammoth Agent

#ce7cc1

Location

Dull, Stormy Armenia

Time of Day

3:48

Extraction Point

140 Miles SE

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Nathan Miranda has gone missing and we believe "Right Rhinoceroses" is responsible. They were last seen in Armenia at 12:21. The agent sent one final message – "A shadow passes at the Devil's barrow". Take this Delicate Belt - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elliott Santiago

Alias

"Right Rhinoceroses"

Features

5' 10"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Gang of Ancient Bra

Emotions

Envious

Personality

Righteously Clever

Motive

Take over a government in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Faithful Meerkat"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Mammoth Festival

Deserted Mansion

Demise Villa

Random Events

Butter Shipment Is hurled at the adventurers

Carcass Evades the law

Alligator strikes the ground

German Trench Club overflows

World

Stores

Michelle's crutch Boutique

Rice's Paperweight Labs

Erickson's Chair Supermarket

Miranda's Skeletal Animal Brothers

Traps

Dropping Ceiling

Floor Net of Laughter

Objects

crutch that is glowing

Chair that is glowing

Secret Paperweight

Hidden Glasses

Rock of Laughter

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, he can’t speak above a whisper

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Paisley Rice "Slow Arms" Merchant Coffee Children's Stories
Jordyn Erickson "Yellow Bones" Mole Technology Snowglobes
Kai Beck The Body Acorns Rabbits
Michelle Wise Technician Chickens Doves
Nathan Miranda Depressed Deodorant Soup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).