The Director Welcomes You

Who is Ali Brunch?

#08e1eb

Location

Rainy, Cloudless Saint Kitts and Nevis

Time of Day

16:50

Extraction Point

59 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Caleb Lucas has gone missing and we believe "Cheap Gnome" is responsible. They were last seen in Saint Kitts and Nevis at 05:13. The agent sent one final message – "A pool of blood at the Apple Orchard". Take this Glowing Cake - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Harper Evans

Alias

"Cheap Gnome"

Features

5' 6"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The Board of Early Island

Emotions

Safe

Personality

Awkwardly Echoing

Motive

Take over a government justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Ali the "Angry Elephant"

Physical Size

Considerable

Story

Additional Locations

The Creamy Arcade

Bustling Lodge

Disaster Villa

Random Events

Goblet Gets their hand chopped off

Horse Carriage Protests

Cat Skips merrily

Robber Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

Antonio's Doorway Properties

Bowen's Stool Hole

McKinney's Bell Unlimited

Lucas's Medallion Warehouse

Traps

Flooding Room

Razor-Wire across Hallway of Pleasure

Objects

Doorway that has been hollowed out

Bell that is glowing

Secret Stool

Hidden Sword

Watch of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

Caster reacts violently to anyone who asks his name

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isla Bowen "Little Bagels" Merchant Horses Tea
Finn McKinney "Small Eyes" Mole Harmonica Contracts
Timothy Spencer Dentist Drinking Cousins
Antonio Blake Spirit Video Games Broccoli
Caleb Lucas Librarian Butterflies Doves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).