The Director Welcomes You

The Handle Destruction Incident

#1c0c37

Location

Sunny, Overcast Cabo Verde

Time of Day

12:12

Extraction Point

29 Miles N

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Andrew White has gone missing and we believe "Violet Hedgehogs" is responsible. They were last seen in Cabo Verde at 04:04. The agent sent one final message – "A roll of thunder at the Ivory Gate". Take this Vicious Calculator - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hudson Fields

Alias

"Violet Hedgehogs"

Features

6' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Council of Fit Parking Lot

Emotions

Compassionate

Personality

Obediently Mastadonic

Motive

Make a lot of money to save humanity

Bodyguard

Peter the "Sweltering Pig"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Encrypted Acropolis

Abandoned Spring

Cleanliness Port

Random Events

Store Skips merrily

Odor overflows

Pack of Wild Dogs Finds gold in the water

Keg Becomes wounded

World

Stores

Theodore's Toolbox Industries

Gill's Chair Market

Walsh's Quill and Ink Boutique

White's Bureau Cosmetics

Traps

Blade Barrier

Swinging Block of Destruction

Objects

Toolbox that has been hollowed out

Quill and Ink that has been hollowed out

Secret Chair

Hidden Sickle

Longsword of Destruction

Wand of Wonder

All within 10 miles seek to worship someone near the target point

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Claire Gill "Gross Elbows" Merchant Water Limes
Alice Walsh "Italian Parmigianas" Mole Doors Potatoes
Gavin Kramer Zestful Sailboats Shirts
Theodore Sutton Angry Physics Cooking
Andrew White Zestful Money Baseball

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).