The Director Welcomes You

Who is Oscar Gun?

#503501

Location

Cloudless, Sunny Mali

Time of Day

0:31

Extraction Point

10 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Spy Deputies,
I have sent you to the outside of a Expensive Carnival to look for a suspect by the name "One Worm". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to discover their location. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shadow passes at the Ivory Gate".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Beautiful Quilt in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ayden Miller

Alias

"One Worm"

Features

5' 8"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Right foot

Organization

The Bunch of Meaty Bees

Emotions

Irritated

Personality

Vastly High

Motive

Take over a government to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Fluffy Elephant"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Pre-Pubescent Palace

Underwater Creek

Downfall Lodge

Random Events

Husband Is throwing a protest

Soup Is hurled at the adventurers

Toilet screams at the top of their lungs

Bag of Flour gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Amaya's Kitchen table Unlimited

Moss's Armoir Arcade

Miles's Medallion Arcade

Glover's Pair of Statues Brothers

Traps

Dropping Ceiling

Box of Brown Mold of Skill

Objects

Kitchen table that has been hollowed out

Medallion made of heavy metal

Secret Armoir

Hidden Glasses

Guthook of Skill

Wand of Wonder

Target moos like a cow each time he draws a weapon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Matteo Moss "Nice Cappuccinos" Merchant Doors Sticky Notes
Anna Miles "Five Lungs" Mole Snowglobes Honey
Alex Frazier Cobbler Rock n' Roll Honey
Amaya Jennings Intoxicated Cellphones Toilets
Aliyah Glover Barber Washing Machines Stickers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).