The Director Welcomes You

Who is Simon Party?

#c2ed80

Location

Warm, Bright Palau

Time of Day

13:29

Extraction Point

155 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Obese Anteaters" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Stone Circle". We need you to eliminate them, Joshingly. Their last known location was recorded at 13:00. You have a Rusty Tape Measure as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Vincent Byrd

Alias

"Obese Anteaters"

Features

6' 8"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Left foot

Organization

The Clique of Hungry Advertisement

Emotions

Adoration

Personality

Joshingly Ashy

Motive

Take over a government to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Simon the "Mastadonic Eel"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Drooping Circus

Polluted Palace

Downfall Villa

Random Events

Chanting Cult Evades the law

Lactose Intolerance Spontaneously disintegrates

Panhandler is being loudly arrested

Pine Branch Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Axel's Crock Worldwide

Christensen's Landscape Closet

Kim's Trophy Unlimited

Pierce's Toolset Specialities

Traps

Poison Wall Spikes

Flooded Corridor of Fate

Objects

Crock that is glowing

Trophy made of heavy metal

Secret Landscape

Hidden Rock

Lipstick of Fate

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s eyes are invulnerable to heat and fire

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adeline Christensen "Silver Stomachs" Merchant Rock n' Roll Sponges
Jonathan Kim "Four Arms" Mole Chalk Paperclips
Miguel Holland Psychiatrist Gym Memberships Mirrors
Axel Parsons Veteran Writers Socks
Tyler Pierce Drunken Music Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).