The Director Welcomes You

Mall Royale

#c34be5

Location

Breezy, Dull Cuba

Time of Day

3:54

Extraction Point

152 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Nova Warren has gone missing and we believe "Four Bigfoot" is responsible. They were last seen in Cuba at 19:21. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the Old battlefield". Take this Delicate Blouse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gracie McGee

Alias

"Four Bigfoot"

Features

4' 6"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The Order of Baleful Fish

Emotions

Angry

Personality

Upward Eager

Motive

Make a lot of money to become the best

Bodyguard

Ali the "Chunky Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Strungout Crypt

Ancient Carnival

Bitterness Barn Dance

Random Events

Potato skins a cat with his teeth

Vegetable emerges

Nearby Gas Tank Catches leprosy

Transport Is under a curse

World

Stores

Vincent's Glass Jars Mall

Anderson's Bonsai Threads

Ortiz's Medallion Logistics

Warren's Rug Collective

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Ray of Sickness of Bitterness

Objects

Glass Jars made of heavy metal

Medallion children's replica

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Falchion

Pike of Bitterness

Wand of Wonder

Something about the caster makes people unlikely to trust him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Grace Anderson "Golden Waffles" Merchant Octopus Glass
Giovanni Ortiz "Cramped Ribs" Mole Jazz Sharks
Brianna Norman Lawyer Water Essential Oils
Vincent Saunders Scientist Physics Death
Nova Warren Elevator Mechanic Sponges Acorns

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).