The Director Welcomes You

Solutions Royale

#60c222

Location

Gloomy, Dry Oman

Time of Day

5:53

Extraction Point

132 Miles E

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Five Griffin" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for food at the Seven Dead". We need you to eliminate them, Wearily. Their last known location was recorded at 21:13. You have a Invisible Towel as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Avery Quinn

Alias

"Five Griffin"

Features

4' 7"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Left arm

Organization

The Unit of Filthy Security

Emotions

Elated

Personality

Wearily Nutritious

Motive

Disrupt the military to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Terry the "Long Nymph"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Calm Isle

Ancient Castle

Destruction Forest

Random Events

Hound Integrates silently into the group

Bank Becomes wounded

Skeleton emerges

Renaissance Faire Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Hailey's Shoe Horn Solutions

Fitzgerald's Musical instrument Mall

Sutton's Shoe Horn Hole

Mendoza's Bureau Closet

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Fusillade of Darts of Grave Consequences

Objects

Shoe Horn that is glowing

Shoe Horn children's replica

Secret Musical instrument

Hidden Button

Shield of Grave Consequences

Wand of Wonder

Target appears to have been assembled out of bamboo

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ellie Fitzgerald "Bullet Stomachs" Merchant Soccer Honey
Jaxson Sutton "All Hot Dogs" Mole Sticky Notes Soup
Gavin Stewart Stressed Sticky Notes Glass
Hailey Yang Intoxicated Trucks Quartz Crystals
Jackson Mendoza Townsfolk Robots Sharp Things

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).