The Director Welcomes You

Crack, Children, Fetish, Spy.

#d157fa

Location

Hot, Gorgeous Egypt

Time of Day

20:13

Extraction Point

25 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside be locked inside of a Rundown Lodge . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Fat Pheonix" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Rainbow Mountain". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Beautiful Plier hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Samuel Carrillo

Alias

"Fat Pheonix"

Features

6' 3"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Department of Delightful Fetish

Emotions

Dismayed

Personality

Blindly Invisible

Motive

Disrupt the military because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Jagged Mutants"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Ashy Sanctuary

Expensive Manor

Excitement Villa

Random Events

Vagrant Spontaneously disintegrates

Swarm of Bees Is hurled at the adventurers

Odor Spontaneously disintegrates

Hoard skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Julianna's Vase Arcade

Hunt's Fireplace Labs

Graham's Credenza International

Manning's Medallion Department store

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Black Tentacles of Contentment

Objects

Vase made of heavy metal

Credenza made of heavy metal

Secret Fireplace

Hidden Lance

Coin of Contentment

Wand of Wonder

All nonliving wood within 50 yards is as pliant as grass

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Elijah Hunt "Silver Matzo Balls" Merchant Shirts Death
Bryson Graham "Short Toes" Mole Drinking Butterflies
Zoey Cross Spirit Chili Snowglobes
Julianna Grant Farmer Harmonica Limes
Finley Manning Headhunter Cousins Jazz

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).