The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Obedient Magician

#0e5d49

Location

Cloudless, Dry Morocco

Time of Day

1:18

Extraction Point

57 Miles NW

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Jesus Hamilton has gone missing and we believe "Drowsy Pig" is responsible. They were last seen in Morocco at 22:11. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Rainbow Mountain". Take this Clean Paint - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Dawson Moran

Alias

"Drowsy Pig"

Features

5' 1"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Left middle finger

Organization

The Company of Facetious Children

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Mockingly Puckish

Motive

Make a lot of money out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Jose the "Deafening Whale"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Obedient Mansion

Hidden Manor

Destiny Carnival

Random Events

Woman Is accused by the law

Milk Shipment Is throwing a protest

Rhapsody Is being detained

Rustler drops from the sky

World

Stores

Adalyn's Shelf of alcohol Mall

Thomas's Wardrobe Bureau

Robinson's Crock Arcade

Hamilton's Candle Threads

Traps

Poison Needle

Flame Strike of Excitement

Objects

Shelf of alcohol that has been hollowed out

Crock that has been hollowed out

Secret Wardrobe

Hidden Sickle

Wrench of Excitement

Wand of Wonder

Non-magical animals react to the target as if he were undead

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isaiah Thomas "Silver Pretzels" Merchant Lamps Candy
Mary Robinson "Right Arms" Mole Bears Writers
Sarah Conner Acupuncturist Pillows Teeth
Adalyn Barrett Old Timer Teeth Chocolate
Jesus Hamilton Sad Chickens Ice Cubes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).