The Director Welcomes You

Tank, World, Religion, Spy.

#6eb78c

Location

Chilly, Windy Sudan

Time of Day

12:28

Extraction Point

26 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

34 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Archaic Grove to look for a suspect by the name "Wild Python". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to discover their location. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shadow passes at the Field of Wildflowers".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Toy in your kit to help.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Valeria Brewer

Alias

"Wild Python"

Features

4' 3"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right eye

Organization

The Agency of Hyper Religion

Emotions

Exhilarated

Personality

Seriously Hungry

Motive

Take over a government for revenge

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Bruised Demon"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Disgusting Crypt

Desolate Arcade

Instability Citadel

Random Events

Chanting Cult chase a suspect

Dracula Ignites violently

Princess is robbed

Crowd Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Tricia's Mantle Specialities

Fernandez's Lamp Supermarket

Griffin's Shoe Horn Brothers

Ford's Lamp Bureau

Traps

Bear Trap

Flooded Corridor of Euthanasia

Objects

Mantle that has been hollowed out

Shoe Horn that has been hollowed out

Secret Lamp

Hidden Fork

Watch of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

Any blade hitting target for maximum damage vanishes until sunset

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Andrew Fernandez "Yellow Brains" Merchant Clocks Squirrels
Jason Griffin "Red Stomachs" Mole Plushies Jazz
Elijah McKinney Human Statue Honey Oranges
Tricia Ellis Musician Money Tea
Evelyn Ford Librarian Attention Attention

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).