The Director Welcomes You

The Closely Disgusting Agent

#3d8ce7

Location

Warm, Foul Afghanistan

Time of Day

21:51

Extraction Point

38 Miles NW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Eyeballs,
I have sent you to within a Crowded Shelter to look for a suspect by the name "Tough Banshee". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Ghost Town".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Delicate Bikini in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sebastian Lambert

Alias

"Tough Banshee"

Features

7' 9"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The Society of Revolting Splint

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Closely Fancy

Motive

Disrupt the military to become famous

Bodyguard

Roberto the "Sturdy Opossums"

Physical Size

Shrimpy

Story

Additional Locations

The Disgusting Jungle

Deserted Business

Extermination Forge

Random Events

VAT of Broth explodes

Diary Is throwing a protest

Alligator screams at the top of their lungs

Transport Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Elena's Bible Bazaar

Vargas's Hat Industries

Moreno's Easel Atelier

Brown's Mantle Unlimited

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Flame Strike of Cheer

Objects

Bible with a False bottom

Easel that is glowing

Secret Hat

Hidden Polearm

Throwing Dart of Cheer

Wand of Wonder

Target is tightly bound by strips of adhesive cloth

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cooper Vargas "Mad Parmigianas" Merchant Rubber Bands Robots
Santiago Moreno "Wild Parmigianas" Mole Glitter Trucks
Messiah Fitzgerald Shadow Houses Hammers
Elena Weber Angry Attention Plushies
Nathan Brown Psychiatrist Children's Stories Rabbits

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).