The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Nefarious Doghouse

#ecc2c3

Location

Foul, Foggy Palau

Time of Day

19:0

Extraction Point

57 Miles E

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Examiners,
I have sent you to within a Expensive Grove to look for a suspect by the name "The Worm". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Eye of Heaven".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Dull Toy in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Matteo Webster

Alias

"The Worm"

Features

5' 1"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Authority of Late Ghost

Emotions

Adoration

Personality

Hourly Creepy

Motive

Disrupt the military because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Ralphie the "Puny Nymph"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Nefarious Forge

Expensive Port

Casualties House

Random Events

Carcass Ignites violently

Dead Animal Is frozen into a block of ice

Vagrant Bursts loudly

Princess Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Owen's Easel Solutions

Moran's Pan Collective

Murray's Bench Market

Haynes's Portrait Atelier

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Bear Trap of Disaster

Objects

Easel with a False bottom

Bench that has been hollowed out

Secret Pan

Hidden Hatchet

Whip of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

For 1d10 rounds, magic doesn’t work within 100 yards of target

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adalynn Moran "Slow Heels" Merchant Deodorant Rocks
Oscar Murray "Green Bones" Mole Death Physics
Peyton Fischer Talent agent Water Painting
Owen Mclaughlin Mechanic Easter Cellphones
Mia Haynes Soul Football Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).