The Director Welcomes You

Who is Jose Subway?

#b40cf0

Location

Miserable, Windless Madagascar

Time of Day

0:12

Extraction Point

39 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Bustling Fortress . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Nice Python" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An out of place door appears at the old bridge". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Fluffy Calculator hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alexandra Jenkins

Alias

"Nice Python"

Features

7' 2"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Left middle finger

Organization

The Sorority of Damaged Collar

Emotions

Pleased

Personality

Generally Tropical

Motive

Make a lot of money to become rich

Bodyguard

Jose the "Raspy kobold"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Scruffy Port

Abandoned Spring

Optimism Lake

Random Events

Horse Carriage emerges

Dead Animal Is throwing a protest

Pine Branch Protests

Bag of Lemons Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Addison's Desk Creative

Patterson's Tapestry Outlet

Aguilar's Fruit Bowl Factory

Franklin's Footlocker Market

Traps

Large Net

Blade Barrier of Fatality

Objects

Desk children's replica

Fruit Bowl children's replica

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Brass Knuckles

Falchion of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby now has three legs spaced evenly around his pelvis

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sawyer Patterson "Big Eyes" Merchant Bread Socks
Jocelyn Aguilar "Violet Lox" Mole Fire Chalk
Mia Young Surgeon Houses Technology
Addison Waters Railroad Conductor Sun Glasses Essential Oils
Victor Franklin Cosmetologist Hamsters Tissues

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).