The Director Welcomes You

The Galley Competency Incident

#c2f41c

Location

Foggy, Rainy Moldova

Time of Day

19:25

Extraction Point

102 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Examiners,
As you can see you are trapped inside within earshot of a Abandoned Lodge . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Dull Hyena" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A thick fog rolls in at the Broken Face". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Feminine Battery hidden on you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alice Willis

Alias

"Dull Hyena"

Features

7' 5"

Heterochromia eyes

Faint curved scar / Right hand

Organization

The Unit of Sticky Flame

Emotions

Anticipating

Personality

Gracefully Some

Motive

Make a lot of money for a love interest

Bodyguard

Hal the "Deafening Normal Guy"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Attractive Crypt

Rundown Reef

Downfall Reef

Random Events

Amulet explodes

Dracula Is throwing a protest

Building Salutes the adventurers

Reindeer Ignites violently

World

Stores

Calvin's Oil Lamp Atelier

Martin's Tapestry Closet

George's Armoir Threads

Graham's Coat of Arms Solutions

Traps

Wall Blade

Ghoul Touch of Competency

Objects

Oil Lamp that has been hollowed out

Armoir that has been hollowed out

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Knife

Bracelet of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Caster finds a powder that can eliminate any poison from food

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ivan Martin "Junior Waffles" Merchant Video Games Robots
Juan George "Chunky Pretzels" Mole Dolphins Mirrors
Mckenzie Schroeder Angry Sun Glasses Balloons
Calvin Carrillo Exhilarated Soap Toilets
Madeline Graham Counselor Doves Limes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).