The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Bald Tail

#1e2bd5

Location

Cloudy, Sunny Andorra

Time of Day

14:45

Extraction Point

108 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Brianna Lyons has gone missing and we believe "Yellow Dwarf" is responsible. They were last seen in Andorra at 13:16. The agent sent one final message – "A pool of blood at the Music Store". Take this Delicate Bonsai Tree - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Owen Lloyd

Alias

"Yellow Dwarf"

Features

6' 3"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The Unit of Meaty Whip

Emotions

Hesitant

Personality

Unabashedly Fancy

Motive

Take over a country to become famous

Bodyguard

Larry the "Swollen Fairy"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Bald Sanctuary

Polluted Circus

Calming Lagoon

Random Events

Amulet Is being kidnapped

Delivery Guy Spontaneously disintegrates

Dancer grabs a lady's purse

Pine Branch Ignites violently

World

Stores

Grant's Butter Churner Atelier

Dunn's Statue Worldwide

Hanson's Bicycle Creative

Lyons's Crock Factory

Traps

Acid Arrow

Compacting Room of Instability

Objects

Butter Churner made of heavy metal

Bicycle that is glowing

Secret Statue

Hidden Dagger

Nipple Clamp of Instability

Wand of Wonder

Tomorrow, caster finds a piece of anachronistic technology

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emerson Dunn "Chunky Parmigianas" Merchant Lipstick Gym Memberships
Catherine Hanson "Plump Boy" Mole Christmas Clocks
Aliyah French Bounty hunter Painting Quartz Crystals
Grant Fitzgerald Musician Books Water
Brianna Lyons Veterinarian Comic Books Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).