The Director Welcomes You

Vein, Friction, Pool, Spy.

#c0eaa7

Location

Bright, Stormy Liechtenstein

Time of Day

3:51

Extraction Point

4 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Polluted Volcano . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Four Gremlin" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Seven Dead". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Vicious Watch hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Declan Mueller

Alias

"Four Gremlin"

Features

6' 7"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Crotch

Organization

The Commission of Magnificent Pool

Emotions

Content

Personality

Bashfully Blue

Motive

Take over a country to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Darnell the "Stoned Beast"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Avian Suburbs

Hidden Creek

The Blackest Black Isle

Random Events

Feminist Is throwing a protest

Jug of Peanut Butter Is throwing a BBQ

Drunk is loose

Carcass Integrates silently into the group

World

Stores

Alex's Vanity Market

Diaz's Grandfather Clock Productions

Carr's Bookcase Creative

Juarez's Stool Little shop

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Tripping Chain of Bitterness

Objects

Vanity that is glowing

Bookcase that is glowing

Secret Grandfather Clock

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Diary of Bitterness

Wand of Wonder

Caster can’t speak until he’s removed 1d10 articles of clothing

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jesse Diaz "All Heels" Merchant Flowers Jigsaw Puzzles
Payton Carr "Five Cappuccinos" Mole Tigers Quartz Crystals
Abigail Johnston Sad Houses Cookies
Alex Graves Blacksmith Television Sun Glasses
Declan Juarez Spirit Christmas Acorns

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).