The Director Welcomes You

Yam, Frame, Crush, Spy.

#6fefe5

Location

Cool, Arid East Timor

Time of Day

1:48

Extraction Point

95 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Adeline Nguyen has gone missing and we believe "Meaty Sphinx" is responsible. They were last seen in East Timor at 20:14. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the Devil's barrow". Take this Robotic Cake - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jasmine Lindsey

Alias

"Meaty Sphinx"

Features

6' 6"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The League of Common Crush

Emotions

Worried

Personality

Dearly Bumpy

Motive

Disrupt the military justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Robust Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Toy

Story

Additional Locations

The Pugilistic Palace

Hidden Reef

Violence Spring

Random Events

Bard Glistens gently

Gang chase a suspect

Keg is loose

Bear Is under a curse

World

Stores

Rowan's Stairwell Discount

Turner's Drawers Cosmetics

McKinney's Vase Outlet

Nguyen's Tea Set Productions

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Tripping Chain of Fire

Objects

Stairwell children's replica

Vase made of heavy metal

Secret Drawers

Hidden Diary

Falchion of Fire

Wand of Wonder

Once per week, caster can appear to be a foot taller for one hour

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mattie Turner "Plump Brains" Merchant Photography Water
Hazel McKinney "Golden Pinky's" Mole Television Rabbits
Charles George Accountant Robots Flashlights
Rowan Strickland Intoxicated Water Bears
Adeline Nguyen Flirty Syrup Soup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).