The Director Welcomes You

The Leg Annihilation Protocol

#212585

Location

Stormy, Hot El Salvador

Time of Day

11:21

Extraction Point

45 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

44 Hours

Ambassadors,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Ancient Mansion . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Casual Yeti" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a random cow at the Hollow oak tree". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Slippery Binocular hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ethan Kennedy

Alias

"Casual Yeti"

Features

6' 9"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Right middle finger

Organization

The Authority of Comical Acid

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Abnormally Adorable

Motive

Take over a government for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Charles the "Municipal Pixie"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Constipated Castle

Overpopulated Lake

Pleasure Lagoon

Random Events

Pack of Wild Dogs Calls menacingly

Meteor screams at the top of their lungs

Hoard meets disaster

Bum Is being tortured

World

Stores

Carson's Spare brick Beauty Stop

Flynn's Sofa Threads

Tate's Paperweight Warehouse

Garcia's Tea Pot Factory

Traps

Chain Lightning

Large Net of Annihilation

Objects

Spare brick that has been hollowed out

Paperweight that has been hollowed out

Secret Sofa

Hidden Watch

Javelins of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

The sun splits into a stable binary pair

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Tyler Flynn "Slow Cappuccinos" Merchant Houses Rock n' Roll
Gracie Tate "Cheap Boy" Mole Essential Oils Football
Xander Salazar Envious Baseball Teeth
Carson Montgomery Hairdresser Hammers Peanut Butter
Alexis Garcia Depressed Gym Memberships Notes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).