The Director Welcomes You

Mall Royale

#484c76

Location

Rainy, Icy Kuwait

Time of Day

22:44

Extraction Point

129 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Agents,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Polluted Carousal . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "All Hedgehogs" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the giants footsteps". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Explosive Pencil hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Josephine Sullivan

Alias

"All Hedgehogs"

Features

4' 8"

Heterochromia eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Agency of Elevated Chinese Finger Trap

Emotions

Depressed

Personality

Unimpressively Dire

Motive

Make a lot of money for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Chuckie the "Stoned Rhinoceroses"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Pitiful Tower

Underwater Spring

Fragility Suburbs

Random Events

Milk Shipment Is being detained

Nearby Gas Tank approaches

Cookie is being loudly arrested

Ninja drops from the sky

World

Stores

Hailey's Sconce Mall

Castro's Bureau Bazaar

Fernandez's Pair of Statues Technologies

Cummings's Mantle Unlimited

Traps

Javelin

Chain Lightning of Demise

Objects

Sconce that is glowing

Pair of Statues with a False bottom

Secret Bureau

Hidden Nipple Clamp

Katana of Demise

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s boots weigh 100 pounds when wet

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jocelyn Castro "Blue Arms" Merchant Photography Children's Stories
Brooke Fernandez "Meaty Falafels" Mole Eggs Toilets
Zoey Castillo Exhilarated Scarves Dolphins
Hailey Townsend Frazzled Children's Stories Cookies
Hazel Cummings Indifferent Cartography Glitter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).