The Director Welcomes You

The Enormously Intelligent Agent

#5900a3

Location

Foul, Dull Azerbaijan

Time of Day

22:16

Extraction Point

18 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

26 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside be locked inside of a Archaic Casino . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Left starfish" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A white horse dashes past at the Fallen King". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Explosive Ladder hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gael Burns

Alias

"Left starfish"

Features

7' 2"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Neck

Organization

The Bunch of Frilled Advertisement

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Enormously Defamatory

Motive

Make a lot of money to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Bitter Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Intelligent Reef

Crowded Lake

Ice City

Random Events

Cauldron screams at the top of their lungs

Sewer Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Woman Skips merrily

Keg drops from the sky

World

Stores

Athena's Key Collective

Collins's Paperweight Chic Chåteau

Smith's Sink Solutions

Hubbard's Cabinet Bureau

Traps

Compacting Room

Object Smeared with Poison of Well-being

Objects

Key with a False bottom

Sink that is glowing

Secret Paperweight

Hidden Medallion

Falchion of Well-being

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he’s standing on a tall, narrow staircase

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kingston Collins "Red Matzo Balls" Merchant Children's Stories Physics
Avery Smith "Heavy Waffles" Mole Flowers Teeth
Bryson Powell Plumber Dice Sponges
Athena Martin Headhunter Glass Soup
Brody Hubbard Acupuncturist Sharks Death

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).