The Director Welcomes You

The Underwear Perspiration Incident

#37ec22

Location

Dry, Icy North Macedonia

Time of Day

18:35

Extraction Point

104 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Mason Lynch has gone missing and we believe "Junior Gremlin" is responsible. They were last seen in North Macedonia at 06:16. The agent sent one final message – "An out of place door appears at the Rainbow Mountain". Take this Explosive Towel - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Bella Robbins

Alias

"Junior Gremlin"

Features

6' 1"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Left middle finger

Organization

The Department of Affluent Bread

Emotions

Compassionate

Personality

Keenly Obnoxious

Motive

Take over a government to become famous

Bodyguard

Charles the "Green Griffin"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Broken Palace

Ancient Lake

Bliss Pond

Random Events

Renaissance Faire Evades the law

Pine Branch strikes the ground

Procession is robbed

Softball Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Tristan's Pocket watch Unlimited

Walker's Hatrack Worldwide

Mendez's Mirror Discount

Lynch's Figurine Unlimited

Traps

Flame Strike

Camouflaged Pit of Perspiration

Objects

Pocket watch made of heavy metal

Mirror made of heavy metal

Secret Hatrack

Hidden Blades

Button of Perspiration

Wand of Wonder

When caster next uses magic, his clone appears nearby

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Henry Walker "Blue Cappuccinos" Merchant Hammers Houses
Elena Mendez "Yellow Livers" Mole Stickers Oranges
Alexander Chang Envious Harmonica Water
Tristan Long Spirit Attention Glass
Mason Lynch Professional Bridesmaid Sharks Television

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).