The Director Welcomes You

The Spaghetti Oblivion Protocol

#211907

Location

Mild, Mild Sri Lanka

Time of Day

20:53

Extraction Point

161 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Overpopulated Motel . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Junior Unicorn" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The earth shakes briefly at the Devil's barrow". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Bulbous Plier hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Josiah Woods

Alias

"Junior Unicorn"

Features

6' 7"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Right hand

Organization

The Union of Mango Reindeer

Emotions

Helpless

Personality

Actually Spicy

Motive

Disrupt the military justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Hal the "Happy Imp"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Agreeable Carnival

Bustling Barn Dance

Euthanasia Festival

Random Events

Majestic Painting arrives in the mail

Buccaneer Evades the law

Hound Salutes the adventurers

Vagrant Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Elise's Hatrack Closet

Dunn's Pair of Statues Du jour

Reese's Bell Wardrobe

Fitzgerald's Doorway Warehouse

Traps

Acid Arrow

Ghoul Touch of Oblivion

Objects

Hatrack made of heavy metal

Bell made of heavy metal

Secret Pair of Statues

Hidden Frying Pan

Bracelet of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

All weapons within 50 yards appear to be made of bone

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Matthew Dunn "Fat Falafels" Merchant Music Bread
Harmony Reese "Fat Heels" Mole Jigsaw Puzzles Sun Glasses
Jesse Avila Talent agent Jazz Video Games
Elise Clark Mechanic Cellphones Football
Mateo Fitzgerald Consultant Death Whipped Cream

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).