The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Tertiary Ashtray

#2059c2

Location

Gorgeous, Hot Suriname

Time of Day

21:32

Extraction Point

39 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

19 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Graham Caldwell has gone missing and we believe "Short Humanoid" is responsible. They were last seen in Suriname at 06:19. The agent sent one final message – "A lone flower growing at the dancing-trees". Take this Polished Can Opener - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Michael Carter

Alias

"Short Humanoid"

Features

6' 1"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Right foot

Organization

The Club of Better Tax

Emotions

Disliked

Personality

Commonly Witty

Motive

Disrupt the military for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Harrison the "Sinful Kangaroos"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Tertiary Park

Desolate Festival

Annihilation Jungle

Random Events

Drunk approaches

Chunk of Beef is being loudly arrested

Dead Animal Salutes the adventurers

Baker Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Sara's Paperweight Specialities

Miranda's Desk Brothers

Buchanan's Sink Brothers

Caldwell's Cutting board Closet

Traps

Burning Hands

Falling Block of Extinction

Objects

Paperweight with a False bottom

Sink made of heavy metal

Secret Desk

Hidden Sticks

Boomerang of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Each day, caster is 1% likely to be destroyed by a meteor strike

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lilly Miranda "Sharp Fingers" Merchant Jazz Whipped Cream
Chloe Buchanan "Four Eyes" Mole Music Soup
Bryce Sims Art Therapist Cookies Sticky Notes
Sara Silva Electrician Dolphins Ice Cubes
Graham Caldwell Veteran Cooking Cellphones

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).