The Director Welcomes You

The Whistle Silence Protocol

#9a9afd

Location

Miserable, Rainy United Kingdom

Time of Day

17:56

Extraction Point

26 Miles S

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Yellow Pegasus" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for food at the Top of the carousel wheel". We need you to eliminate them, Deftly. Their last known location was recorded at 21:13. You have a Colorful Hammer as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Theodore Collins

Alias

"Yellow Pegasus"

Features

4' 11"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The Board of Petite Soiree

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Deftly Hungry

Motive

Take over a country in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Cocky Wendigo"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Weak Spring

Touristy Business

Indecision Acropolis

Random Events

Horse Carriage Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Building Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Leopard Attempts to rob a bank

Majestic Painting is robbed

World

Stores

Skylar's Flower in Vase Arcade

Cook's Music Box Productions

Morrison's Bottle Technologies

Jensen's Spice shelf Convenience store

Traps

Acid Arrow

Insanity Mist Vapor of Silence

Objects

Flower in Vase that is glowing

Bottle made of heavy metal

Secret Music Box

Hidden Lance

Chewing Gum of Silence

Wand of Wonder

Next person slain nearby has his skull and spine torn out

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ximena Cook "Short Heels" Merchant Doors Video Games
Ian Morrison "Short Dumplings" Mole Photography Sticks
Lucas Ray Angry Honey Horses
Skylar Fowler Railroad Conductor Soccer Sharp Things
Bella Jensen Townsfolk Rocks Cellphones

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).