The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Worn Babies

#b66b2f

Location

Arid, Cool Côte d’Ivoire

Time of Day

4:20

Extraction Point

42 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to the top of a Expensive City to look for a suspect by the name "White Koalas". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Apple Orchard".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Bread in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Avery Bush

Alias

"White Koalas"

Features

5' 6"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Right hand

Organization

The Company of Tender Space

Emotions

Anxious

Personality

Fatally Pre-Pubescent

Motive

Take over a country because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Jose the "Colossal Owlman"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Worn House

Deserted Crypt

Expiration Suburbs

Random Events

Bag of Lemons arrives in the mail

Husband Becomes wounded

Carcass Is being kidnapped

German Trench Club Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Ryan's Credenza Solutions

Hammond's Brass Replica Creative

Barber's Coat Solutions

Sherman's Hanging Birdcage Bureau

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Poison Needle of Fatality

Objects

Credenza that has been hollowed out

Coat with a False bottom

Secret Brass Replica

Hidden Throwing Dart

Staff of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

Target thinks he’ll die if he climbs a tree taller than he is

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Natalia Hammond "Bullet Pastrami's" Merchant Tissues Money
Sophie Barber "King Stomachs" Mole Painting Cooking
Sadie Lawrence Flirty Shirts Harmonica
Ryan Mann Exhausted Bears Rock n' Roll
Andrew Sherman Soul Doors Tea

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).