The Director Welcomes You

Brunch, Headquarters, Earrings, Spy.

#d512d6

Location

Breezy, Dry United Kingdom

Time of Day

22:38

Extraction Point

4 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Examiners,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Archaic Port . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Little Gargoyle" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the hive". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Invisible Towel hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Justin Austin

Alias

"Little Gargoyle"

Features

7' 2"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Committee of Ubiquitous Earrings

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Merrily Limited

Motive

Take over a government for honor

Bodyguard

James the "Putrid Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Great Castle

Expensive Masquerade

Bliss Grove

Random Events

Odor strikes the ground

Spectator arrives in the mail

Cat Is being kidnapped

Pack of Wild Dogs Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Layla's Chair Closet

Gonzales's Bookcase Productions

Becker's Pan Closet

Peters's Taxidermy animal Worldwide

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Bear Trap of Enjoyment

Objects

Chair children's replica

Pan that has been hollowed out

Secret Bookcase

Hidden Gauntlet

Katana of Enjoyment

Wand of Wonder

Caster comes into possession of a black velvet painting of Elves

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Everly Gonzales "All Noses" Merchant Ice Cubes Snowglobes
Preston Becker "Small Cappuccinos" Mole Soda Lions
Oscar Tate Secretary Hammers Glitter
Layla Wong Annoyed Essential Oils Dice
Sofia Peters Geologist Octopus Rocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).