The Director Welcomes You

The Expert Influence Protocol

#23f42a

Location

Dry, Humid Kosovo

Time of Day

11:58

Extraction Point

200 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
It seems "Plump Leech" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Seven Dead". We need you to eliminate them, Bravely. Their last known location was recorded at 05:17. You have a Mechanical Belt as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ezekiel Mendoza

Alias

"Plump Leech"

Features

5' 11"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Company of Incalculable Fireman

Emotions

Bored

Personality

Bravely Jagged

Motive

Take over a government to control the Children

Bodyguard

Simon the "Scaley Gnome"

Physical Size

Small-scale

Story

Additional Locations

The Kind City

Deserted Manor

Obsession Chateau

Random Events

Bag of Flour Evades the law

Druid Is throwing a BBQ

Building Balances on a ledge

Horse Carriage drops from the sky

World

Stores

Jayden's Skeletal Animal Closet

Pratt's Toolbox Group

Hines's Urn Convenience store

Byrd's Mantle Threads

Traps

Flame Strike

Fireball of Influence

Objects

Skeletal Animal made of heavy metal

Urn children's replica

Secret Toolbox

Hidden Sticks

Nipple Clamp of Influence

Wand of Wonder

When caster next draws blood, he disgorges 1d10 gallons of blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Michael Pratt "Red Stomachs" Merchant Glass Money
Isabel Hines "Chunky Eyes" Mole Teeth Clocks
Margaret Sanders Police Officer Soccer Sharks
Jayden Carroll Fortune Cookie Writer Death Batteries
Ryleigh Byrd Secretary Mirrors Soup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).