The Director Welcomes You

The Turkey Animosity Protocol

#ff8587

Location

Miserable, Gloomy Gabon

Time of Day

16:28

Extraction Point

179 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Joseph Martin has gone missing and we believe "Black Camel" is responsible. They were last seen in Gabon at 23:20. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Dragon's Sea". Take this Evil Spoon - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mason Lambert

Alias

"Black Camel"

Features

6' 1"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Left hand

Organization

The Firm of Moldy Video

Emotions

Bored

Personality

Dutifully Slimy

Motive

Take over a country to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Invisible Bear"

Physical Size

Small-scale

Story

Additional Locations

The Salty City

Pitch Black Masquerade

Obsession Circus

Random Events

Safe emerges

Water Vessel Salutes the adventurers

Pine Branch runs over an infant

Rhapsody Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Mya's Mirror Warehouse

Pierce's Diary Productions

Miranda's Grandfather Clock Chic Chåteau

Martin's Coat Threads

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Arrow of Animosity

Objects

Mirror that is glowing

Grandfather Clock that has been hollowed out

Secret Diary

Hidden Camera

Stave of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s spellbook acquires a saucy and antagonistic personality

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Penelope Pierce "The Tongues" Merchant Chili Money
Kaiden Miranda "Right Cheesecakes" Mole Bracelets Toilets
Hunter McKinney Bruised Bells Harmonica
Mya Lopez Electrician Robots Rabbits
Joseph Martin Envious Dice Bracelets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).