The Director Welcomes You

Quilt, Clam, Moon, Spy.

#8dce35

Location

Stormy, Windy Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Time of Day

15:55

Extraction Point

89 Miles NW

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Tough The Grim Reaper" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "The earth shakes briefly at the Old battlefield". We need you to eliminate them, Irritably. Their last known location was recorded at 22:10. You have a Slippery Plier as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sarah Morrison

Alias

"Tough The Grim Reaper"

Features

6' 4"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Association of Dowdy Moon

Emotions

Defeated

Personality

Irritably Sovereign

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Donald the "Mysterious Zombie"

Physical Size

Little

Story

Additional Locations

The Nefarious Mansion

Hidden Forge

Violence Acropolis

Random Events

Vagabond Is frozen into a block of ice

Diary is heard screaming

Lactose Intolerance Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Drunk grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Maddox's Bonsai Du jour

Ball's Candle Properties

Swanson's Kitchen table Bazaar

Kramer's Kitchen table Beauty Stop

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Burning Hands of Bliss

Objects

Bonsai that has been hollowed out

Kitchen table that has been hollowed out

Secret Candle

Hidden Brass Knuckles

Katana of Bliss

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, it shrinks by 50%

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Michael Ball "Casual Ankles" Merchant Basketball Cartography
Peyton Swanson "Mad Cappuccinos" Mole Lions Hammers
Ayden Scott Dentist Chocolate Fire
Maddox Sandoval Geologist Death Jigsaw Puzzles
Jasper Kramer Art Therapist Socks Photography

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).