The Director Welcomes You
The Throat Darkness Protocol
#3758b1
Examiners, I have sent you to approach a Rundown Masquerade to look for a suspect by the name "Stiff Pixie". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a random cow at the Old battlefield".
We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Bible in your kit to help.
— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.
Emily Dawson
"Stiff Pixie"
5' 10"
Amber eyes
Faint curved scar / Neck
The Firm of Drooping Fireman
Annoyed
Roughly Fresh
Make a lot of money to become the best
David the "Strung Out Mutants"
Gigantic
The Jocular Spring
Polluted Mansion
Bliss Masquerade
Bum Spontaneously disintegrates
Bottle of Soy Sauce gathers near a point of interest
Butter Shipment scurries by
Delivery Guy emerges
Piper's Loveseat Technologies
Fletcher's Grandfather Clock Couture
Carpenter's End Table Threads
Welch's Drawers Collective
Arrow
Rolling Rock of Darkness
Loveseat that has been hollowed out
End Table made of heavy metal
Secret Grandfather Clock
Hidden Medallion
Hammers of Darkness
Next person slain nearby flies into the air and vanishes
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Robin Fletcher | "Short Feet" | Merchant | Essential Oils | Trucks |
| Owen Carpenter | "Obese Pretzels" | Mole | Comic Books | Rubber Bands |
| Gabriella Hanson | Master Distiller | Chili | Flowers | |
| Piper Weaver | Exhausted | Eggs | Ice Cubes | |
| Camila Welch | Psychiatrist | Easter | Potatoes |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).