The Director Welcomes You

System, Bong, Toes, Spy.

#ec115f

Location

Dull, Foul Madagascar

Time of Day

19:10

Extraction Point

45 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Operatives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Grandfather Clock made of heavy metal. Get to Madagascar at 16:19

Good Luck.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

John Owen

Alias

"Short Cyclops"

Features

7' 10"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Commission of Mastadonic Toes

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Unfortunately Agreeable

Motive

Take over a country for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Crooked Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Odd Palace

Underground Forest

Joy House

Random Events

Majestic Painting chase a suspect

Fairy stop the party and asks questions

Panhandler Balances on a ledge

Ninja Crashes slowly

World

Stores

Madeline's Grandfather Clock Unlimited

Butler's Rubber Plant Boutique

Hudson's Statuette Emporium

Cunningham's Plaster Bust Warehouse

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Fire of Censorship

Objects

Grandfather Clock made of heavy metal

Statuette that is glowing

Secret Rubber Plant

Hidden Guthook

Pike of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Target’s entire family is arrested by royal decree

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aubree Butler "Bullet Feet" Merchant Flashlights Hamsters
Valerie Hudson "Red Cappuccinos" Mole Quartz Crystals Eggs
Kingston Perez The Body Limes Batteries
Madeline Rogers Optimistic Lamps Slippers
Anthony Cunningham Acupuncturist Coffee Painting

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).