The Director Welcomes You

The Sphincter Delirium Protocol

#d01a02

Location

Bright, Chilly Trinidad and Tobago

Time of Day

13:52

Extraction Point

100 Miles W

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Examiners,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Chaise with a False bottom. Get to Trinidad and Tobago at 24:08

Good Luck.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Teagan Rios

Alias

"Bullet Dragon"

Features

6' 10"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Left leg

Organization

The Fraternity of Skinny Walk

Emotions

Angry

Personality

Properly Glamorous

Motive

Make a lot of money to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Greasy Sloth"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Whining Circus

Touristy Masquerade

Skill Lodge

Random Events

Skeleton drops from the sky

Softball scurries by

Swarm of Bees Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Bear runs over an infant

World

Stores

Micah's Chaise Properties

Hale's Pair of Statues Properties

Howell's Satchel Industries

Elliott's Tea Set International

Traps

Falling Block

Tripping Chain of Delirium

Objects

Chaise with a False bottom

Satchel children's replica

Secret Pair of Statues

Hidden Book

Magazine of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Target must Save when he’s hit by a bludgeon or turn inside out

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Catherine Hale "Tough Fingers" Merchant Money Dinosaurs
Maddox Howell "Violet Spleens" Mole Doors Singing
Caleb Mitchell Veterinarian Harmonica Chili
Micah Mendoza Chef Trees Lamps
Ryker Elliott Professional Cuddler Books Glass

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).