The Director Welcomes You

The Juicy Battle Examination

#5597bd

Location

Calm, Foggy Ukraine

Time of Day

3:15

Extraction Point

163 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "The Rabbit" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "Clouds develop quickly at the Music Store". We need you to eliminate them, Bleakly. Their last known location was recorded at 13:04. You have a Glowing Coin as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ian Aguilar

Alias

"The Rabbit"

Features

7' 1"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Neck

Organization

The Society of Broken Thing

Emotions

Fearful

Personality

Bleakly Vacant

Motive

Take over a government for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Darnell the "Clumsy Mummy"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Juicy Festival

Pitch Black Maze

Optimism Forge

Random Events

Hoard Is being kidnapped

Nearby Gas Tank Crashes slowly

Soup Is throwing a BBQ

Beggar is robbed

World

Stores

Payton's Lounge Chair Market

Wolf's Creeping Vines Wardrobe

Austin's Stamp Set Little shop

George's Tea Pot Ventures

Traps

Arrow

Acid Arrow of Irritation

Objects

Lounge Chair that has been hollowed out

Stamp Set with a False bottom

Secret Creeping Vines

Hidden Rapier

Guthook of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Target can subsist on only 10% of the normal amount of food

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Raelynn Wolf "Indigo Cheesecakes" Merchant Basketball Sharp Things
Caleb Austin "Meaty Spleens" Mole Attention Washing Machines
Abigail McCarthy Actor Physics Essential Oils
Payton Juarez Elder Horses Singing
Lucas George Journalist Robots Video Games

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).