The Director Welcomes You

The Boots Destiny Incident

#e5026e

Location

Sunny, Foul Burkina Faso

Time of Day

5:10

Extraction Point

43 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Scrutinizers,
As you can see you are trapped inside climb a Polluted Forest . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Quiet Roc" is responsible and they sent us this message - "Distant sounds of screaming at the Golden Fire". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Robotic Candle hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Harmony Greene

Alias

"Quiet Roc"

Features

6' 2"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Left arm

Organization

The Company of Screeching Reindeer

Emotions

Jealous

Personality

Enthusiastically Heavy

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Sam the "Rabid Worm"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Plump Barn Dance

Underwater Barn Dance

Obsession Festival

Random Events

Wanderer is being loudly arrested

Gunshot Crashes slowly

Nearby Gas Tank Ignites violently

Buccaneer Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Preston's Metal chair Unlimited

Davis's Landscape Consulting

Hernandez's Taxidermy animal Little shop

Daniels's Letter Opener Wardrobe

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Rune of Paralyzation of Destiny

Objects

Metal chair with a False bottom

Taxidermy animal that has been hollowed out

Secret Landscape

Hidden Pants

Dagger of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

Caster finds a powder that can dissolve up to one pound of gold

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lucy Davis "Four Spleens" Merchant Tissues Chickens
Anthony Hernandez "Violet Muscles" Mole Rabbits Dice
Luca Hanson Engineer Trees Dolphins
Preston Nguyen Professional Cuddler Lipstick Essential Oils
Emilia Daniels Accountant Quartz Crystals Sailboats

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).