The Director Welcomes You

The Creamy Kitten Insecurity

#cf2550

Location

Mild, Dull Vietnam

Time of Day

9:40

Extraction Point

55 Miles SW

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Spy Deputies,
I have sent you to descend into Abandoned City to look for a suspect by the name "Little all-seeing eye". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A black cat runs past at the Beast's Maze".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clandestine Bonsai Tree in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Diego Chambers

Alias

"Little all-seeing eye"

Features

6' 8"

Heterochromia eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Council of Hot Mist

Emotions

Fearful

Personality

Youthfully Constipated

Motive

Take over a government for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Vacant Demon"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Creamy Castle

Underground Forest

Purity Forest

Random Events

Chicken Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Bag of Flour Is getting confiscated

Sewer Salutes the adventurers

Milk Shipment Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Malachi's Barrel Bureau

Sutton's Sculpture Technologies

Salinas's Staircase Beauty Stop

Lopez's Clamp Properties

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Wall Blade of Dark

Objects

Barrel that is glowing

Staircase with a False bottom

Secret Sculpture

Hidden Diary

Rock of Dark

Wand of Wonder

All humans within 10 miles think that demihumans are subhuman

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cole Sutton "Gross Muscles" Merchant Books Teeth
Carson Salinas "Wild Throats" Mole Teeth Bells
Bryce Barker Townsfolk Mirrors Death
Malachi Reynolds Secretary Honey Flowers
Karter Lopez Cleaner Mirrors Teeth

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).