The Director Welcomes You

The Television Peace Protocol

#648a20

Location

Frigid, Hot United Kingdom

Time of Day

8:58

Extraction Point

28 Miles S

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Snoopers,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Rundown Volcano . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Wild Sea Lion" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the Top of the carousel wheel". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clean Blouse hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Max Espinoza

Alias

"Wild Sea Lion"

Features

7' 8"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Crotch

Organization

The Sisterhood of Red Mask

Emotions

Elated

Personality

Generally Portly

Motive

Take over a government for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Thoughtless Alien"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Masochistic Pond

Polluted Carousal

Expiration Circus

Random Events

Vagrant Becomes wounded

Dozen Eggs approaches

Sewer gathers near a point of interest

Horse Carriage Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Maximus's Rug Discount

Fowler's Cutting board Hole

Knight's Certificate International

Gardner's Spare brick Couture

Traps

Collapsing Column

Arrow of Peace

Objects

Rug made of heavy metal

Certificate that has been hollowed out

Secret Cutting board

Hidden Coin

Credit Card of Peace

Wand of Wonder

Caster can open his mouth as wide as he is tall

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jaxon Fowler "King Forearms" Merchant Easter Rabbits
Gabriella Knight "Three Pretzels" Mole Drinking Quartz Crystals
Robin Day Zestful Tigers Cellphones
Maximus Anderson Optimistic Trucks Candles
Zion Gardner Waiter Pillows Glass

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).