The Director Welcomes You

Women, Twins, Curmudgeon, Spy.

#a18588

Location

Hot, Warm Croatia

Time of Day

14:44

Extraction Point

160 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Meddlers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Hose with a False bottom. Get to Croatia at 04:22

Good Luck.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kylie Craig

Alias

"King Whale"

Features

7' 1"

Green eyes

Faint curved scar / Right leg

Organization

The Office of Small Curmudgeon

Emotions

Nervous

Personality

Fondly Proud

Motive

Make a lot of money for revenge

Bodyguard

Prince the "Putrid Koalas"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Tall Carnival

Desolate Masquerade

Bitterness Suburbs

Random Events

Musical drops from the sky

Bag of Lemons Is being detained

Dracula is being loudly arrested

Crowd Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Carlos's Hose Beauty Stop

Henderson's Grandfather Clock Threads

Butler's Pan Collective

Stevens's Figurine Outlet

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Burning Hands of Bitterness

Objects

Hose with a False bottom

Pan that is glowing

Secret Grandfather Clock

Hidden Sword

Necklace of Bitterness

Wand of Wonder

Target’s death will reveal him to be a horrific, demonic entity

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Leo Henderson "Golden Pretzels" Merchant Jigsaw Puzzles Glitter
Dean Butler "Big Pinky's" Mole Lamps Clocks
Miguel Hampton Exhilarated Paper Cellphones
Carlos Munoz Frustrated Physics Photography
Kai Stevens Depressed Limes Photography

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).