The Director Welcomes You
The Tapestry Virtue Protocol
#8c1bad
Investigators, I have sent you to the inside of a Polluted Lodge to look for a suspect by the name "Red Mutants". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Boneyard".
We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Glowing Headphones in your kit to help.
— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.
Anastasia Gray
"Red Mutants"
4' 6"
Hazel eyes
Small mole / Right foot
The Society of Warm Fifth
Anxious
Coolly Tinkling
Take over a government for pure destruction
Ralphie the "Sweltering Centaur"
Substantial
The Moldy Citadel
Bustling Island
Silence Festival
Chunk of Beef Finds gold in the water
German Trench Club Is hurled at the adventurers
German Trench Club Skips merrily
Druid skins a cat with his teeth
Jonah's Pedestal Group
Harrison's Shirt Arcade
Cook's Candlesticks Ventures
Chandler's Statuette Hole
Poisoned Arrow
Hail of Needles of Virtue
Pedestal with a False bottom
Candlesticks with a False bottom
Secret Shirt
Hidden File
Pen of Virtue
Any fire damage suffered by target inflicts 2X normal damage
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Jade Harrison | "Five Spleens" | Merchant | Tigers | Snowglobes |
| Jude Cook | "Mini Churros" | Mole | Bears | Stickers |
| Valentina Klein | Electrician | Video Games | Dolphins | |
| Jonah Henderson | Physician | Cookies | Jigsaw Puzzles | |
| Patrick Chandler | Librarian | Christmas | Candy |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).