The Director Welcomes You

Bazaar Royale

#8d0822

Location

Dry, Warm Papua New Guinea

Time of Day

15:9

Extraction Point

6 Miles E

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to underneathe a Crowded Palace to look for a suspect by the name "Golden Succubus". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Crossroads".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Colorful Condom in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brielle Dixon

Alias

"Golden Succubus"

Features

4' 10"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Neck

Organization

The League of Deafening War

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Gladly Repulsive

Motive

Disrupt the military to become rich

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Square Elephant"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Puckish Citadel

Overpopulated Jungle

Power Citadel

Random Events

Dozen Eggs screams at the top of their lungs

Building Is under a curse

Pine Branch Is throwing a protest

Rhapsody strikes the ground

World

Stores

Jason's Glass Jars Bazaar

Harvey's Trophy Group

Gutierrez's Workbench Bazaar

Sherman's Coat of Arms Du jour

Traps

Flooding Room

Dropping Ceiling of Destruction

Objects

Glass Jars with a False bottom

Workbench that is glowing

Secret Trophy

Hidden Sickle

Lipstick of Destruction

Wand of Wonder

One of target’s limbs seems to belong to a different species

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Rhett Harvey "Meaty Muscles" Merchant Ice Cubes Chili
Elliott Gutierrez "Junior Hot Dogs" Mole Bracelets Slippers
Elena Pham Frazzled Paper Hammers
Jason Wheeler Farmer Dice Dolphins
Karter Sherman Police Officer Contracts Technology

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).