The Director Welcomes You

The Burn Extermination Protocol

#e25f47

Location

Windless, Bright United Kingdom

Time of Day

24:54

Extraction Point

93 Miles SW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Investigators,
As you can see you are trapped inside the outside of a Overpopulated Crypt . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Yellow Dwarf" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Devil's barrow". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Feminine Paint Brush hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Carson Baldwin

Alias

"Yellow Dwarf"

Features

6' 3"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Society of Boorish Volcano

Emotions

Uncomfortable

Personality

Lazily Ancient

Motive

Take over a government to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Jose the "Consensual Fairy"

Physical Size

Substantial

Story

Additional Locations

The Damaged Carnival

Overpopulated Peninsula

Violence Chateau

Random Events

Butter Shipment Is being kidnapped

Leopard Evades the law

Chanting Cult Is frozen into a block of ice

Softball Is under a curse

World

Stores

Everly's Key Department store

Baker's Hatrack Wardrobe

Burns's Kitchen table Threads

Norman's Wingback chair Creative

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Tripping Chain of Extermination

Objects

Key with a False bottom

Kitchen table children's replica

Secret Hatrack

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Chastity Belt of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that some item he’s carrying is about to explode

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Reese Baker "Bullet Cheesecakes" Merchant Butterflies Water
Liam Burns "Green Matzo Balls" Mole Tea Rocks
Benjamin Brown Plumber Gym Memberships Photography
Everly Morgan Bruised Shirts Water
Hayden Norman Angry Doves Candles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).