The Director Welcomes You
The Cat Euphoria Protocol
#95a322
Eyeballs, It seems "Big Giraffe" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "A vagrant asks for food at the graveyard". We need you to eliminate them, Afterwards. Their last known location was recorded at 11:05. You have a Angry Audio Cassette as a last resort. Use carefully.
— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.
Payton Marquez
"Big Giraffe"
5' 7"
Red eyes
Small mole / Right middle finger
The Union of Victorious Hot
Self-conscious
Afterwards Gigantic
Take over a country to control the Children
Jose the "Irrelevant Centaur"
Massive
The Tasteless Masquerade
Rundown Chateau
Fatality Barn Dance
Biscuit is being loudly arrested
Cookie Is frozen into a block of ice
Whore Is under a curse
Hoard Ignites violently
Aubree's Paperweight Department store
Silva's Potted Plant Mall
Becker's Toolset Atelier
Chang's Lounge Chair Specialities
Beehive
Ceiling Pendulum of Euphoria
Paperweight made of heavy metal
Toolset that is glowing
Secret Potted Plant
Hidden Cutlass
Sabre of Euphoria
When caster next uses magic, he disgorges 2d6 large clay bricks
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Rose Silva | "Short Hot Dogs" | Merchant | Money | Rock n' Roll |
| King Becker | "Mad Tongues" | Mole | Teeth | Acorns |
| Julia Frazier | Ghost | Limes | Acorns | |
| Aubree Rojas | Shadow | Coffee | Candles | |
| Olivia Chang | Statistician | Cats | Death |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).