The Director Welcomes You
The Product Euthanasia Protocol
#badb4b
Silent Negotiators, I have sent you to be locked inside of a Abandoned Acropolis to look for a suspect by the name "Quiet Gnome". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to rescue our field agent. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A white horse dashes past at the Broken Face".
We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Robotic Paint in your kit to help.
— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.
Leilani Lambert
"Quiet Gnome"
5' 10"
Green eyes
Stretch Marks / Left foot
The Society of Lemon Phone
Disoriented
Warmly Boned
Make a lot of money out of greed
Jackie the "Melted Sea Lion"
Puny
The Thoughtless Maze
Rundown Maze
Destruction Carnival
Mutant is loose
Box of Mice Integrates silently into the group
Milk Shipment skins a cat with his teeth
Swarm of Bees Is hurled at the adventurers
Nathaniel's Candelabra Atelier
Romero's Picture Frame Factory
Brooks's Bicycle Productions
Clarke's Drawers Boutique
Bear Trap
Scything Blade of Euthanasia
Candelabra with a False bottom
Bicycle that has been hollowed out
Secret Picture Frame
Hidden Helmet
Cat of Euthanasia
Target won’t be able to sleep in the next 1d100 days
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| James Romero | "Stiff Parmigianas" | Merchant | Bracelets | Writers |
| John Brooks | "One Spleens" | Mole | Dice | Gym Memberships |
| Dylan Mitchell | Chef | Sharks | Octopus | |
| Nathaniel Walters | Envious | Bells | Cooking | |
| Emery Clarke | Paramedic | Singing | Doves |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).