The Director Welcomes You

The Quarter Irritation Incident

#6a5239

Location

Breezy, Chilly Israel

Time of Day

14:38

Extraction Point

168 Miles S

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Yellow Spirit" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Seven Dead". We need you to eliminate them, Urgently. Their last known location was recorded at 09:23. You have a Explosive Clock as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Steven Wise

Alias

"Yellow Spirit"

Features

5' 4"

Red eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Unit of Boiling Cork

Emotions

Disoriented

Personality

Urgently Dusty

Motive

Take over a government fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

David the "Common Mummy"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Large Isle

Underwater Lake

Mania Jungle

Random Events

Sewer Crashes slowly

Chauvinist Lunges at the group

Renaissance Faire explodes

Store Is being detained

World

Stores

Dean's Painting Mall

Perez's Satchel Beauty Stop

Jones's Footlocker Labs

Williams's Bureau Emporium

Traps

Burning Hands

Poison Dart of Irritation

Objects

Painting with a False bottom

Footlocker made of heavy metal

Secret Satchel

Hidden Lighter

Wrench of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Normal voices seem to echo imperiously to the target

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sarah Perez "Junior Bones" Merchant Acorns Plushies
Natalia Jones "Three Cheesecakes" Mole Candles Dice
Eliana Newton Surgeon Paper Stickers
Dean Bush Hairdresser Tea Technology
Caleb Williams Phantom Broccoli Cellphones

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).