The Director Welcomes You

The Spaghetti Censorship Protocol

#4b2ed0

Location

Foggy, Dark Bhutan

Time of Day

0:48

Extraction Point

168 Miles W

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Vivian Perry has gone missing and we believe "Obese Drunken Irish Guy" is responsible. They were last seen in Bhutan at 16:10. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the Ivory Gate". Take this Robotic Newspaper - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Cora Torres

Alias

"Obese Drunken Irish Guy"

Features

4' 2"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Right foot

Organization

The Society of Raspy Waste

Emotions

Hesitant

Personality

Violently Nutty

Motive

Make a lot of money to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Larry the "Bitter Goblins"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Rough Lodge

Bustling Citadel

Weakness Creek

Random Events

Wedding Cake grabs a lady's purse

Alligator Integrates silently into the group

Bank Skips merrily

Spice Box Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Rylee's Sculpture Collective

Austin's Letter Opener Properties

Logan's Brass Replica Little shop

Perry's Music Box Mall

Traps

Phantasmal Killer

Rolling Rock of Censorship

Objects

Sculpture that is glowing

Brass Replica that has been hollowed out

Secret Letter Opener

Hidden Rock

Pants of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are individually shrouded in fog

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Everett Austin "The Kidneys" Merchant Paper Rabbits
Tricia Logan "Green Cheesecakes" Mole Easter Money
Daniel Curtis Butcher Octopus Balloons
Rylee Ingram Mechanic Tigers Football
Vivian Perry Technician Coffee Washing Machines

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).