The Director Welcomes You

The Beast Prosperity Protocol

#3796d5

Location

Chilly, Gloomy Azerbaijan

Time of Day

8:21

Extraction Point

145 Miles NE

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to climb a Overpopulated City to look for a suspect by the name "Nice Fairy". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "An out of place door appears at the Sacrificial Hole".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Invisible Balloon in your kit to help.

β€” The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Claire Lang

Alias

"Nice Fairy"

Features

5' 11"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Right eye

Organization

The Alliance of Straight Church

Emotions

Aggravated

Personality

Technically Numerous

Motive

Make a lot of money for revenge

Bodyguard

Roberto the "Dangerous Chimera"

Physical Size

Elder

Story

Additional Locations

The Calamitous City

Ancient Lagoon

Purity Jungle

Random Events

Feminist Crashes slowly

Crowd runs over an infant

Keg meets disaster

Chauvinist Is under a curse

World

Stores

Jaxson's End Table Properties

Powell's crutch Bazaar

Riley's Figurine Group

Graham's Cutting board Couture

Traps

Collapsing Column

Earthquake of Prosperity

Objects

End Table children's replica

Figurine that is glowing

Secret crutch

Hidden Shoe

Brass Knuckles of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

Caster is reluctant to enter any building he’s previously entered

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brandon Powell "White Toes" Merchant Comic Books Broccoli
Abigail Riley "Short Forearms" Mole Bells Lamps
Julianna Fernandez Mechanic Dinosaurs Lipstick
Jaxson Jenkins Shadow Harmonica Clocks
Hayden Graham Blacksmith Teeth Notes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).