The Director Welcomes You

The Mist Euthanasia Protocol

#b7669a

Location

Hot, Cloudless Madagascar

Time of Day

7:27

Extraction Point

113 Miles NW

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Leilani Wheeler has gone missing and we believe "Dull Leech" is responsible. They were last seen in Madagascar at 04:24. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Screaming Waterfall". Take this Vicious Toy - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mia Harris

Alias

"Dull Leech"

Features

4' 5"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left leg

Organization

The Alliance of Curved Dinosaurs

Emotions

Spiteful

Personality

Brightly Damaged

Motive

Take over a country out of jealousy

Bodyguard

John the "Powerful Doppelganger"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Regal Festival

Underwater Festival

Grave Consequences Peninsula

Random Events

Tramp catches on fire

Wanderer Is being detained

Mutant Glistens gently

Carcass Evades the law

World

Stores

Juliana's Certificate Supermarket

Blair's Coat of Arms Worldwide

Green's Ring Hole

Wheeler's Urn Warehouse

Traps

Chain Lightning

Earthquake of Euthanasia

Objects

Certificate children's replica

Ring with a False bottom

Secret Coat of Arms

Hidden Targe

Pen of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

Target’s skin is a widely coveted delicacy

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jacob Blair "Bullet Falafels" Merchant Deodorant Water
Londyn Green "Bullet Scars" Mole Music Tigers
Giovanni Myers Demon Cartography Drinking
Juliana Conner Musician Sticky Notes Horses
Leilani Wheeler Judge Potatoes Paper

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).