The Director Welcomes You

Thimble, Grass, Cat, Spy.

#9034cc

Location

Cloudless, Stormy South Africa

Time of Day

19:5

Extraction Point

40 Miles SW

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Tapestry made of heavy metal. Get to South Africa at 10:22

Good Luck.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nova Miller

Alias

"Cheap giant"

Features

7' 6"

Green eyes

Small mole / Crotch

Organization

The Division of Rapping Cat

Emotions

Spiteful

Personality

Clearly Frilled

Motive

Disrupt the military for honor

Bodyguard

Harrison the "Bankrupt Bat"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Substantial Carnival

Overpopulated Circus

Destiny Business

Random Events

Gallon of Trash Is accused by the law

Lactose Intolerance drops from the sky

Box of Cigarette runs over an infant

Skeleton Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Easton's Tapestry Brothers

Sparks's Tapestry Consulting

Ramirez's Shoe Horn Factory

Cunningham's Trinket Outlet

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Collapsing Column of Sanitation

Objects

Tapestry made of heavy metal

Shoe Horn made of heavy metal

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Wrench

Morning Star of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t be harmed by bludgeons between dawn and noon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hayden Sparks "Italian Spleens" Merchant Essential Oils Syrup
Skylar Ramirez "No Lemons" Mole Sharks Drinking
Carter Carrillo Professional Cuddler Comic Books Lamps
Easton Fleming Musician Rock n' Roll Flowers
Giovanni Cunningham Teacher Photography Video Games

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).