The Director Welcomes You

Trick, Cork, Power, Spy.

#db15d0

Location

Miserable, Dark Lebanon

Time of Day

23:26

Extraction Point

160 Miles E

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "Sharp Anteaters" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a sword in a stone at the dry riverbed". We need you to eliminate them, Sadly. Their last known location was recorded at 16:16. You have a Light Hot Glue Gun as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Finn Cannon

Alias

"Sharp Anteaters"

Features

6' 2"

Hazel eyes

Large moles / Right eye

Organization

The League of Eager Power

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Sadly Moldy

Motive

Take over a government out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Sam the "Putrid Basilisk"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Brutish Villa

Deserted Festival

Contentment Port

Random Events

Soup Finds gold in the water

Store runs over an infant

Bunny Attempts to rob a bank

Cauldron Evades the law

World

Stores

Arianna's Musical instrument Ventures

Richards's Toolbox Du jour

Wheeler's Music Box Arcade

Berry's Lounge Chair Ventures

Traps

Tripping Chain

Bricks from Ceiling of Fury

Objects

Musical instrument made of heavy metal

Music Box children's replica

Secret Toolbox

Hidden Cutlass

Longsword of Fury

Wand of Wonder

Next tree touched by caster crumbles to ash in minutes

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aaron Richards "Left Cappuccinos" Merchant Notes Physics
Hailey Wheeler "Violet Bones" Mole Washing Machines Writers
Elias Becker Journalist Jigsaw Puzzles Bracelets
Arianna Leon Cobbler Music Physics
Alina Berry Meteorologist Books Christmas

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).