The Director Welcomes You

Chain, Mommy, Curvy, Spy.

#63829e

Location

Dark, Breezy Bahrain

Time of Day

3:41

Extraction Point

21 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Sleuths,
It seems "Obese Abominable Snowman" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a random cow at the Beast's Maze". We need you to eliminate them, Speedily. Their last known location was recorded at 07:02. You have a Explosive Bonsai Tree as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Weston Osborne

Alias

"Obese Abominable Snowman"

Features

7' 4"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Crotch

Organization

The Department of Rapid Curvy

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Speedily Derogatory

Motive

Disrupt the military to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Peter the "Putrid Hydra"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Hyper Crypt

Ancient Park

Competency Castle

Random Events

Turtle Is under a curse

Chunk of Beef Skips merrily

Bard is robbed

Skeleton strikes the ground

World

Stores

Daisy's Grandfather Clock International

Hernandez's Chaise Threads

Jordan's Loveseat Couture

Collins's Tea Pot Factory

Traps

Javelin

Poison Wall Spikes of Bliss

Objects

Grandfather Clock children's replica

Loveseat made of heavy metal

Secret Chaise

Hidden Diary

Morning Star of Bliss

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s allies completely ignore him for 1d6 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Miles Hernandez "Italian Hands" Merchant Candles Tissues
Bailey Jordan "Dull Lox" Mole Paperclips Photography
Kinsley Owen Geologist Bells Balloons
Daisy Carroll Meteorologist Cats Children's Stories
Marcus Collins Waiter Soup Cats

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).