The Director Welcomes You

Who is Charles Wilderness?

#b99e6f

Location

Icy, Wet Ethiopia

Time of Day

2:25

Extraction Point

141 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Ryan Munoz has gone missing and we believe "Left Pheonix" is responsible. They were last seen in Ethiopia at 05:24. The agent sent one final message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Serpents Nest". Take this Sharp Socks - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Emma Vega

Alias

"Left Pheonix"

Features

5' 1"

Red eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Community of Egregious Game

Emotions

Infatuated

Personality

Unnecessarily Holy

Motive

Make a lot of money out of survival

Bodyguard

Charles the "Obnoxious Pegasus"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Skinny Spring

Overpopulated City

Secrecy Isle

Random Events

Pack of Wild Dogs Bounces oddly

Hoard catches on fire

Bard Skips merrily

Midwife Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Mya's Bookcase Specialities

Flynn's Music Box Technologies

Caldwell's Mural Beauty Stop

Munoz's Certificate Productions

Traps

Poison Wall Spikes

Scything Blade of Death

Objects

Bookcase that is glowing

Mural that is glowing

Secret Music Box

Hidden Bracelet

Book of Death

Wand of Wonder

Any water now within 50 yards can never be frozen

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jordyn Flynn "All Waffles" Merchant Jigsaw Puzzles Lipstick
Margaret Caldwell "Five Cappuccinos" Mole Photography Writers
Willow Carpenter Electrician Sailboats Doors
Mya Barnes Frazzled Chili Bears
Ryan Munoz Railroad Conductor Batteries Bells

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).