The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Gray Subway

#697dc4

Location

Dry, Cool Armenia

Time of Day

4:17

Extraction Point

49 Miles NE

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Spy Deputies,
I have sent you to enter a Rundown Lodge to look for a suspect by the name "Left Python". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Ivory Gate".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Baking Tray in your kit to help.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Bentley Acosta

Alias

"Left Python"

Features

7' 4"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Crotch

Organization

The Crew of Ambitious Hell

Emotions

Contempt

Personality

Reproachfully Massive

Motive

Take over a country to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Faint Centaur"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Gray Lodge

Abandoned Barn Dance

Prosperity Manor

Random Events

Bank Is hurled at the adventurers

Wedding Cake Integrates silently into the group

Bank is loose

Feminist Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Patrick's Chair Collective

Hill's Crock Brothers

Simpson's Wingback chair Little shop

Leon's Butter Churner Discount

Traps

Wall Blade

Chain Lightning of Oblivion

Objects

Chair with a False bottom

Wingback chair with a False bottom

Secret Crock

Hidden Cutlass

Blades of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, it can’t cross moving water

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Harper Hill "Fat Brains" Merchant Rubber Stamps Pillows
Valeria Simpson "Casual Ankles" Mole Pillows Writers
Rhett Woods Drunken Jazz Trucks
Patrick Mack Chef Painting Soup
Owen Leon Geologist Deodorant Comic Books

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).