The Director Welcomes You

The Finger Delirium Incident

#f657bb

Location

Overcast, Arid Canada

Time of Day

0:28

Extraction Point

100 Miles W

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside the inside of a Archaic Lagoon . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Italian Centaur" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The earth shakes briefly at the Ancient Fountain". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clean Toy hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Calvin Moreno

Alias

"Italian Centaur"

Features

5' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Right hand

Organization

The Bunch of Sweltering Government

Emotions

Stunned

Personality

Properly Infantile

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Jessica the "White Pheonix"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Obnoxious Reef

Hidden Manor

Competency Festival

Random Events

Milk Shipment Ignites violently

Dancer Evades the law

Gypsy Is throwing a BBQ

Lactose Intolerance Is under a curse

World

Stores

Elias's Faberge Egg Little shop

Grant's Cabinet Labs

Medina's Crock Emporium

Flores's Bell Threads

Traps

Beehive

Blade Barrier of Delirium

Objects

Faberge Egg children's replica

Crock that has been hollowed out

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Shield

Magazine of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

If cut open, caster is found to be stuffed with goose down

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Benjamin Grant "Black Lemons" Merchant Photography Easter
Amelia Medina "Three Feet" Mole Easter Children's Stories
Levi Evans Exhilarated Football Chili
Elias Ryan Townsfolk Death Harmonica
Nolan Flores Funeral Director Football Paperclips

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).