The Director Welcomes You

Tattoo, Vessel, Dad, Spy.

#d64749

Location

Humid, Arid Kyrgyzstan

Time of Day

17:37

Extraction Point

160 Miles W

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Examiners,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Bustling Port . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Sharp Rabbit" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A white horse dashes past at the Boneyard". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Rusty Watch hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nora Ford

Alias

"Sharp Rabbit"

Features

7' 10"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Left middle finger

Organization

The Community of Quaint Dad

Emotions

Depressed

Personality

Willfully Deep

Motive

Take over a government to lust for power

Bodyguard

Philip the "Jagged Elves"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Rapid Chateau

Archaic Festival

Fatality Villa

Random Events

Transport Crashes slowly

Chauvinist Attempts to rob a bank

Toilet Is being detained

Carcass Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

Emery's Loveseat Arcade

Lucas's Hanging Birdcage Industries

Burns's Bed Threads

Myers's Medallion Unlimited

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Compacting Room of Bravery

Objects

Loveseat made of heavy metal

Bed children's replica

Secret Hanging Birdcage

Hidden Knife

Handcuffs of Bravery

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s entire head looks like a huge nose

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Angel Lucas "Short Feet" Merchant Snowglobes Cartography
Elias Burns "Chunky Throats" Mole Paper Chickens
Valerie Reed Dentist Squirrels Oranges
Emery Bates Chief Executive Officer Sun Glasses Lipstick
Jeremy Myers Bruised Horses Glitter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).