The Director Welcomes You

The Crossly Delicious Agent

#003f61

Location

Calm, Breezy Solomon Islands

Time of Day

2:56

Extraction Point

13 Miles N

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Shadows,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Staircase made of heavy metal. Get to Solomon Islands at 21:22

Good Luck.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayden Jones

Alias

"Junior Cat"

Features

5' 8"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The Club of Thankful Industry

Emotions

Optimistic

Personality

Crossly Chipper

Motive

Make a lot of money out of greed

Bodyguard

Harold the "Sour Rabbit"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Delicious Peninsula

Crowded Park

Sanitation Lodge

Random Events

Mutant Integrates silently into the group

Herd of Chicken Ignites violently

Chicken chase a suspect

Prostitute Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

World

Stores

Micah's Staircase Industries

Schmidt's Pan Cosmetics

Watkins's Vanity Mall

Patel's Wingback chair Factory

Traps

Ice lock

Object Smeared with Poison of Sanitation

Objects

Staircase made of heavy metal

Vanity that has been hollowed out

Secret Pan

Hidden File

Boiled Leather of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

Target is immune to Charms and Enchantments for 1d4 weeks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kaiden Schmidt "One Spleens" Merchant Glitter Football
Raelynn Watkins "Nice Pastrami's" Mole Robots Rubber Stamps
Colton Fox Headhunter Water Horses
Micah West Lawyer Trucks Hamsters
Tucker Patel Fortune Cookie Writer Hamsters Trucks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).