The Director Welcomes You

The Fried Gun Dilemma

#99b31a

Location

Overcast, Foggy Cameroon

Time of Day

21:44

Extraction Point

43 Miles N

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Examiners,
I have sent you to the outside of a Desolate Peninsula to look for a suspect by the name "Three Humanoid". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Fallen King".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Beautiful Bible in your kit to help.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Messiah Cook

Alias

"Three Humanoid"

Features

7' 8"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Left leg

Organization

The Task Force of Poor Race

Emotions

Embarrassed

Personality

Recklessly Alive

Motive

Take over a government to become the best

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Repulsive Fairy"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Fried Creek

Polluted Business

Good Spirits Island

Random Events

Safe runs over an infant

Dozen Eggs Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Box of Mice arrives in the mail

Crow Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Lillian's Trunk Convenience store

Santos's Hanging Birdcage Group

Myers's Goblet International

Robles's Bureau Brothers

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Burning Hands of Oblivion

Objects

Trunk children's replica

Goblet with a False bottom

Secret Hanging Birdcage

Hidden Club

Handcuffs of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

Magic items use charges at 50% normal rate if caster uses them

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nora Santos "Right Boy" Merchant Cats Soccer
Riley Myers "Cramped Ankles" Mole Lions Doors
Guy Schmidt Cosmetologist Fire Flashlights
Lillian Smith Acupuncturist Scarves Broccoli
Dawson Robles Indifferent Socks Trees

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).