The Director Welcomes You

The Joyfully Boiling Agent

#706923

Location

Dull, Warm Myanmar

Time of Day

14:22

Extraction Point

57 Miles W

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Eyeballs,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Pitch Black Crypt . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Five Orcs" is responsible and they sent us this message - "Distant sounds of screaming at the Eye of Heaven". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Sharp Plier hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kennedy Douglas

Alias

"Five Orcs"

Features

6' 5"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Neck

Organization

The Society of Fit Purse

Emotions

Disturbed

Personality

Joyfully Alive

Motive

Take over a government to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Charles the "Mushy Beast"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Boiling Island

Deserted Palace

Rage Spring

Random Events

Prostitute Spontaneously disintegrates

Bard catches on fire

Feminist is loose

Biscuit Ignites violently

World

Stores

Piper's Fruit Bowl International

Phillips's Medallion Technologies

Long's Chaise Creative

Todd's Barrel Labs

Traps

Hail of Needles

Flooding Room of Purity

Objects

Fruit Bowl made of heavy metal

Chaise that has been hollowed out

Secret Medallion

Hidden Wrench

Camera of Purity

Wand of Wonder

Meat turns to gravel as it moves through target’s digestive tract

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Raelynn Phillips "Chunky Parmigianas" Merchant Singing Toilets
Gracie Long "Three Lemons" Mole Horses Chili
Harmony Thompson Counselor Video Games Cats
Piper Bauer Animator Butterflies Sharks
Joshua Todd Stressed Soccer Squirrels

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).