The Director Welcomes You

Beggar, Wiener, Sabre, Spy.

#6ee1e0

Location

Rainy, Bright China

Time of Day

11:51

Extraction Point

174 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Investigators,
I have sent you to climb a Crowded Circus to look for a suspect by the name "White Sphinx". This mission is black bag. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Field of Wildflowers".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Dull Cigarette in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jaxson Cobb

Alias

"White Sphinx"

Features

6' 4"

Hazel eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Task Force of Greasy Sabre

Emotions

Scared

Personality

Wonderfully Mammoth

Motive

Take over a government to please their master

Bodyguard

Darnell the "Skinny Hyena"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Fresh Lagoon

Underground Mansion

Stealth Mansion

Random Events

Dracula drops from the sky

Druid strikes the ground

Tramp catches on fire

Chunk of Beef Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Amelia's Musical instrument Ventures

Howell's Marionette Group

Burgess's Brass Replica Du jour

Medina's Bookcase Ventures

Traps

Bestow Curse

Poison Wall Spikes of Optimism

Objects

Musical instrument that is glowing

Brass Replica made of heavy metal

Secret Marionette

Hidden Falchion

Dagger of Optimism

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he smells strongly of manure

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alex Howell "Fast Pinky's" Merchant Books Clocks
Abraham Burgess "Plump Brains" Mole Socks Hamsters
Valeria Douglas Physician Trucks Rock n' Roll
Amelia Harvey Veteran Paperclips Pillows
Luis Medina Master Distiller Tissues Toilets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).