The Director Welcomes You

The Drab Effigy Question

#b49b79

Location

Arid, Overcast Denmark

Time of Day

1:59

Extraction Point

101 Miles S

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to approach a Ancient Carousal to look for a suspect by the name "Mini Nymph". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Screaming Waterfall".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Robotic Chewing Gum in your kit to help.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Adalyn Solis

Alias

"Mini Nymph"

Features

6' 11"

Heterochromia eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Incorporated of Warm Shiv

Emotions

Depressed

Personality

Absentmindedly Slimey

Motive

Take over a country because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Sticky Hobgoblin"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Drab Sanctuary

Ancient Fortress

Demise Island

Random Events

Donkey overflows

Jug of Peanut Butter Protests

Toilet is loose

Bag of Lemons Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Addison's Drawers Cosmetics

Gilbert's Hatrack Logistics

Elliott's Notebook Atelier

Simpson's Lounge Chair Couture

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Phantasmal Killer of Imperfection

Objects

Drawers made of heavy metal

Notebook with a False bottom

Secret Hatrack

Hidden Staff

Newspaper of Imperfection

Wand of Wonder

Next person nearby to speak finds that his mouth has vanished

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nathan Gilbert "No Feet" Merchant Bracelets Children's Stories
Declan Elliott "Gross Brains" Mole Squirrels Lions
Jason Ruiz Headhunter Glitter Stickers
Addison French Cranky Books Harmonica
Mckenzie Simpson Lawyer Chickens Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).