The Director Welcomes You

The Unkempt Church Secrecy

#95156c

Location

Cloudy, Rainy Luxembourg

Time of Day

14:3

Extraction Point

51 Miles NW

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Hose that has been hollowed out. Get to Luxembourg at 10:13

Good Luck.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Isabelle Craig

Alias

"Small Pixie"

Features

4' 5"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right hand

Organization

The Bunch of Eager Stepmother

Emotions

Inferior

Personality

Zestfully Mammoth

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Damaged Basilisk"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Unkempt Palace

Polluted Palace

Instability Arcade

Random Events

Bank meets disaster

Bear catches on fire

Ninja Strikes the church bell

Husband is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Mya's Hose Convenience store

Pham's Oil Lamp Threads

Palmer's Flower in Vase Solutions

Spencer's Shelf of alcohol Productions

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Swinging Block of Rage

Objects

Hose that has been hollowed out

Flower in Vase with a False bottom

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Collar

Club of Rage

Wand of Wonder

Some common non-magical species adopts the target as its enemy

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
London Pham "Short Bagels" Merchant Christmas Photography
Jack Palmer "White Knuckles" Mole Lamps Chalk
Carson Sullivan Restless Quartz Crystals Water
Mya Ortega Shadow Acorns Soccer
Luca Spencer The Body Candles Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).