The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Meaty Prison

#3f4eb8

Location

Overcast, Balmy Bolivia

Time of Day

24:23

Extraction Point

155 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Grant Fowler has gone missing and we believe "Black Gnome" is responsible. They were last seen in Bolivia at 09:03. The agent sent one final message – "A pool of blood at the Tempest". Take this Invisible Paint - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Zachary Keller

Alias

"Black Gnome"

Features

5' 10"

Red eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Gang of Lively Monsoon

Emotions

Inferior

Personality

Unnaturally Sparse

Motive

Disrupt the military in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Panicky Banshee"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Meaty Jungle

Hidden Manor

Weakness Citadel

Random Events

Rhapsody Becomes wounded

Spice Box Becomes wounded

Pine Branch chase a suspect

Vagabond approaches

World

Stores

Sophie's Medallion Bureau

Becker's Trophy Couture

Reynolds's Medallion Ventures

Fowler's Counter Technologies

Traps

Floor Net

Blade Barrier of Euthanasia

Objects

Medallion made of heavy metal

Medallion with a False bottom

Secret Trophy

Hidden Sling

Notebook of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

After each spell, caster is immune to bludgeons for 1d4 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Iris Becker "Obese Stomachs" Merchant Fire Pillows
Bailey Reynolds "Stiff Cappuccinos" Mole Plushies Comic Books
Tyler Robertson Consultant Comic Books Essential Oils
Sophie Munoz Actor Glitter Peanut Butter
Grant Fowler Ghost Paperclips Physics

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).