The Director Welcomes You

Honey, Donkey Dick, Election, Spy.

#1cce88

Location

Warm, Cloudless Palau

Time of Day

14:11

Extraction Point

7 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

26 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Junior Sloth" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the Frozen palace". We need you to eliminate them, Deeply. Their last known location was recorded at 03:16. You have a Heavy Candle as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nevaeh Matthews

Alias

"Junior Sloth"

Features

7' 5"

Red eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Unit of Consensual Election

Emotions

Restless

Personality

Deeply Wrapped

Motive

Take over a country for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Tim the "Broken Bull"

Physical Size

Toy

Story

Additional Locations

The Drab Carousal

Polluted Maze

Disaster Spring

Random Events

Butter Shipment Is throwing a BBQ

Procession Is being tortured

Rustler strikes the ground

Transport Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Jesse's Portrait Group

Carr's Easel Ventures

Harvey's Sofa Logistics

Sandoval's Staircase Industries

Traps

Wall Blade

Beehive of Bravery

Objects

Portrait made of heavy metal

Sofa with a False bottom

Secret Easel

Hidden Book

Camera of Bravery

Wand of Wonder

Caster is invisible to females for 2d6 turns

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Carlos Carr "White Lungs" Merchant Singing Snowglobes
Lilly Harvey "Nice Hands" Mole Hammers Water
Riley Barnett Teacher Tigers Squirrels
Jesse Hammond Bruised Comic Books Fire
Avery Sandoval Hairdresser Tigers Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).