The Director Welcomes You

Solutions Royale

#021cb0

Location

Bright, Stormy Philippines

Time of Day

5:40

Extraction Point

46 Miles NE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "Mad Sprite" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "Distant sounds of screaming at the Ghost Town". We need you to eliminate them, Intently. Their last known location was recorded at 06:03. You have a Feminine Headphones as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lydia Cortez

Alias

"Mad Sprite"

Features

6' 3"

Red eyes

Large moles / Left thumb

Organization

The Office of Mannered Library

Emotions

Grief-stricken

Personality

Intently Future

Motive

Take over a country to become rich

Bodyguard

Jessica the "Dusty Unicorn"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Tertiary Suburbs

Underground Pond

Freshness Arcade

Random Events

Odor Integrates silently into the group

Bum is robbed

Baker skins a cat with his teeth

Majestic Painting Skips merrily

World

Stores

Robin's Rug Solutions

Young's Taxidermy animal Chic Chåteau

Moody's Rubber Plant Bazaar

Harper's Picture Frame Collective

Traps

Beehive

Bestow Curse of Bravery

Objects

Rug children's replica

Rubber Plant children's replica

Secret Taxidermy animal

Hidden Nipple Clamp

Whip of Bravery

Wand of Wonder

Target’s shadow can travel up to 1d4 miles away from him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Melanie Young "Fast Hearts" Merchant Ice Cubes Rubber Stamps
Bennett Moody "The Bagels" Mole Candy Deodorant
Aubree Richardson Artist Sharp Things Chickens
Robin Gallagher Human Statue Oranges Children's Stories
Finley Harper Weakened Writers Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).