The Director Welcomes You

The Suspiciously Derogatory Agent

#518986

Location

Foggy, Icy Burundi

Time of Day

4:54

Extraction Point

124 Miles N

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Sleuths,
I have sent you to the top of a Expensive Water Park to look for a suspect by the name "Cramped Troll". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Where grass will not grow".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Soft Wrench in your kit to help.

β€” The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Isabella Fuller

Alias

"Cramped Troll"

Features

6' 3"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The Crew of Kind Circus

Emotions

Tenderness

Personality

Suspiciously Refined

Motive

Make a lot of money for revenge

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Strong Dragon"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Derogatory Jungle

Compact Acropolis

Darkness Acropolis

Random Events

Procession is robbed

Bag of Flour Gets their hand chopped off

Lactose Intolerance Balances on a ledge

Cat Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Blake's Pair of Statues Cosmetics

Wang's Doorway Industries

Hansen's Key Technologies

Hudson's Bonsai Collective

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Portcullis of Fragility

Objects

Pair of Statues with a False bottom

Key made of heavy metal

Secret Doorway

Hidden Chastity Belt

Medallion of Fragility

Wand of Wonder

Target wakes tomorrow certain that it’s yesterday

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ashton Wang "Three Feet" Merchant Easter Peanut Butter
Harrison Hansen "Casual Hands" Mole Fire Glitter
Jack Castro Farmer Toilets Baseball
Blake Perez Exhilarated Sailboats Sun Glasses
Everly Hudson Dead Tired Sticks Plushies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).