The Director Welcomes You

Who is Nancy Buttplug?

#b3c14d

Location

Rainy, Overcast Madagascar

Time of Day

5:33

Extraction Point

94 Miles SW

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "Junior Abominable Snowman" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Golden Fire". We need you to eliminate them, Strictly. Their last known location was recorded at 05:14. You have a Clandestine Cake as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayla Hicks

Alias

"Junior Abominable Snowman"

Features

6' 1"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Left middle finger

Organization

The Incorporated of Heavy Effigy

Emotions

Hopeless

Personality

Strictly Smelly

Motive

Disrupt the military to become the best

Bodyguard

Nancy the "Modern Pig"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Squeaking Villa

Desolate Jungle

Influence Lodge

Random Events

Bum Protests

Crazy Man is robbed

Goblet overflows

Crowd Is being detained

World

Stores

Ezra's Shelf of alcohol Cosmetics

Arnold's Iron stove Chic Chåteau

Walton's End Table Brothers

Contreras's Butter Churner Hole

Traps

Acid Fog

Lightning Bolt of Death

Objects

Shelf of alcohol that has been hollowed out

End Table made of heavy metal

Secret Iron stove

Hidden Wrench

Sticks of Death

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are dressed in high quality fur

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Juan Arnold "Nice Kidneys" Merchant Syrup Jigsaw Puzzles
Luke Walton "No Hot Dogs" Mole Honey Trees
Juan Valdez Dietitian Clocks Hamsters
Ezra Coleman Fortune Cookie Writer Coffee Contracts
Jackson Contreras Exhausted Squirrels Sticks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).