The Director Welcomes You

The Lawyer Obsession Protocol

#7f4005

Location

Calm, Foggy Azerbaijan

Time of Day

7:7

Extraction Point

197 Miles S

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Crowded Circus . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Red Centaur" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A traveling merchant appears at the Three Fingers". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Evil Paint Brush hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Molly Sandoval

Alias

"Red Centaur"

Features

5' 6"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Left hand

Organization

The Community of Most Understanding

Emotions

Exasperated

Personality

Kissingly Depressed

Motive

Make a lot of money to please their master

Bodyguard

Nick the "Sore Mummy"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Puny Fortress

Polluted Forest

Destruction City

Random Events

Horse Carriage stop the party and asks questions

Fairy Calls menacingly

Chicken stop the party and asks questions

Bum Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Arianna's Loveseat Productions

Neal's Mirror Mall

Cohen's Candlesticks Productions

Baldwin's Bed Couture

Traps

Arrow

Burning Hands of Obsession

Objects

Loveseat that is glowing

Candlesticks with a False bottom

Secret Mirror

Hidden Boiled Leather

Rock of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Target is now standing atop the tallest mountain within 100 miles

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kylie Neal "Fast Pretzels" Merchant Snowglobes Writers
Lilly Cohen "Mad Waffles" Mole Chickens Singing
Brielle Doyle Funeral Director Gym Memberships Essential Oils
Arianna McGee Frazzled Flashlights Bracelets
Brandon Baldwin Stressed Teeth Houses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).