The Director Welcomes You

The Derogatory Headquarters Pilgrimmage

#4a82a6

Location

Stormy, Warm Sri Lanka

Time of Day

10:20

Extraction Point

164 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Snoopers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Lounge Chair children's replica. Get to Sri Lanka at 04:05

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Vivian Douglas

Alias

"Red Yeti"

Features

5' 1"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The Incorporated of Efficacious Donkey

Emotions

Cautious

Personality

Frenetically Luminous

Motive

Take over a government for honor

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Pre-Pubescent Mermaid"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Derogatory Arcade

Compact Festival

Happiness Mansion

Random Events

Dracula Crashes slowly

Spectator emerges

Wedding Cake Lunges at the group

Wedding Cake gathers near a point of interest

World

Stores

Adaline's Lounge Chair Outlet

Ramos's Coat Hole

Larson's Staircase Productions

Diaz's Suit of armor Chic Chåteau

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Bricks from Ceiling of Darkness

Objects

Lounge Chair children's replica

Staircase children's replica

Secret Coat

Hidden Javelins

Greaves of Darkness

Wand of Wonder

If caster is wearing a magic ring, he can’t sleep for 2d10 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Charles Ramos "Stiff Bagels" Merchant Pillows Comic Books
Gracie Larson "Tough Ribs" Mole Socks Bells
Brody Williams Paramedic Water Broccoli
Adaline Johnston Restless Jazz Plushies
Grayson Diaz Frustrated Doves Trees

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).