The Director Welcomes You

The Oven Censorship Incident

#46f9fb

Location

Cool, Dry Venezuela

Time of Day

21:49

Extraction Point

38 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Ambassadors,
It seems "Blue Horse" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Ivory Gate". We need you to eliminate them, Gently. Their last known location was recorded at 11:21. You have a Bulbous Sun Lotion as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Skylar Gonzalez

Alias

"Blue Horse"

Features

7' 4"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Right middle finger

Organization

The Task Force of White Increase

Emotions

Elated

Personality

Gently Meaty

Motive

Make a lot of money to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Johnny the "Cuddly Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Serpentine Forge

Ancient Palace

Laughter Suburbs

Random Events

Feminist Is being kidnapped

Diary Adopts a nearby child

Procession Adopts a nearby child

Renaissance Faire Is accused by the law

World

Stores

Adalyn's Staircase Emporium

Logan's File Consulting

Sherman's Vase Atelier

Marsh's Easel Convenience store

Traps

Rolling Rock

Black Tentacles of Censorship

Objects

Staircase with a False bottom

Vase that has been hollowed out

Secret File

Hidden Lipstick

Spikes of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s lungs begin to function at half normal efficiency

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Wesley Logan "Drowsy Knuckles" Merchant Eggs Dice
Evelyn Sherman "Big Kidneys" Mole Chickens Bread
Angel Morgan Frazzled Candy Notes
Adalyn Schwartz Phantom Sailboats Essential Oils
August Marsh Statistician Video Games Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).