The Director Welcomes You

The Raspy Orifice Situation

#84577f

Location

Warm, Wet New Zealand

Time of Day

9:17

Extraction Point

180 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Obese Rabbit" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "A white horse dashes past at the Skull shaped island". We need you to eliminate them, Tightly. Their last known location was recorded at 16:16. You have a Clean Clamp as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brayden Todd

Alias

"Obese Rabbit"

Features

5' 8"

Green eyes

Small mole / Crotch

Organization

The Clique of Incendiary Mural

Emotions

Contempt

Personality

Tightly Chuffed

Motive

Take over a government for a love interest

Bodyguard

Hal the "Wrapped Mutants"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Raspy Manor

Polluted Fortress

Secrecy House

Random Events

Nearby Gas Tank is robbed

Rustler catches on fire

Crying Child Is accused by the law

Box of Mice Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Miguel's Bonsai Labs

Alexander's Pocket watch Threads

Lowe's Bottle Couture

Kennedy's Marionette Worldwide

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Bricks from Ceiling of Extermination

Objects

Bonsai with a False bottom

Bottle with a False bottom

Secret Pocket watch

Hidden Coin

Pike of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

Printed text appears hopelessly garbled while target is nearby

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zoe Alexander "White Matzo Balls" Merchant Candles Honey
Elliot Lowe "Plump Hot Dogs" Mole Deodorant Oranges
Nevaeh Cook Talent agent Chocolate Water
Miguel Chandler Barber Singing Rock n' Roll
Jaxson Kennedy Funeral Director Honey Eggs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).