The Director Welcomes You

Market Royale

#0e4aa8

Location

Foul, Cool Egypt

Time of Day

22:47

Extraction Point

1 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
It seems "Silver Camel" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the Ghost Town". We need you to eliminate them, Wholly. Their last known location was recorded at 15:20. You have a Soft Hot Glue Gun as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Margaret Miles

Alias

"Silver Camel"

Features

5' 9"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Left leg

Organization

The Unit of Putrid Judge

Emotions

Grief-stricken

Personality

Wholly Sclerotic

Motive

Disrupt the military to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Carl the "Chipper Sprite"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Sour Festival

Underwater Forge

Obliteration Palace

Random Events

Biscuit catches on fire

Box of Cigarette stop the party and asks questions

Jug of Peanut Butter is heard screaming

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is being detained

World

Stores

Kayden's Staircase Market

Kelly's Footlocker Worldwide

Norman's Mounted Animal Couture

Collins's Urn Logistics

Traps

Bestow Curse

Fire of Destiny

Objects

Staircase children's replica

Mounted Animal children's replica

Secret Footlocker

Hidden Nipple Clamp

Targe of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

Next weapon nearby to draw blood is 10% likely to disintegrate

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dawson Kelly "Right Knuckles" Merchant Rock n' Roll Dinosaurs
Genesis Norman "Silver Fingers" Mole Video Games Cellphones
Michelle Campbell Musician Comic Books Toilets
Kayden Dennis Farmer Technology Chocolate
Raelynn Collins Acupuncturist Football Rocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).