The Director Welcomes You

Ladybug, Medium, Orgy, Spy.

#6799c3

Location

Sunny, Windy Serbia

Time of Day

16:42

Extraction Point

22 Miles NE

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "White Owl" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "Distant sounds of screaming at the Big Momma". We need you to eliminate them, Almost. Their last known location was recorded at 24:24. You have a Polished Headphones as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Victoria Peterson

Alias

"White Owl"

Features

5' 2"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Unit of Portly Orgy

Emotions

Comfortable

Personality

Almost Infantile

Motive

Take over a government for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Jose the "Creepy Aardvark"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Zealous Spring

Underground Chateau

Passion Grove

Random Events

Dancer grabs a lady's purse

Box of Mice skins a cat with his teeth

Herd of Chicken is being loudly arrested

Princess Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Luca's Flowers Growing Unlimited

Bowman's Plaster Bust Logistics

Salazar's Grandfather Clock Supermarket

Haynes's Coat of Arms Arcade

Traps

Portcullis

Floor Net of Indecision

Objects

Flowers Growing that is glowing

Grandfather Clock made of heavy metal

Secret Plaster Bust

Hidden Pants

Gauntlet of Indecision

Wand of Wonder

All of caster’s fingers migrate to one hand

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Anthony Bowman "Slow Waffles" Merchant Boxes Money
Dawson Salazar "Violet Thumbs" Mole Flashlights Cousins
Isabelle Miller Cobbler Acorns Notes
Luca Bishop Actor Eggs Writers
Ariel Haynes Meteorologist Teeth Scarves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).