The Director Welcomes You

The Hour Obsession Protocol

#d4f044

Location

Mild, Chilly Malawi

Time of Day

15:36

Extraction Point

52 Miles N

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to the top of a Hidden Festival to look for a suspect by the name "Silver Camel". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Three Fingers".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Feminine Tape Measure in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jonah Garner

Alias

"Silver Camel"

Features

4' 9"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Crew of Meaty Chinese Finger Trap

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Mortally Dirty

Motive

Disrupt the military to save humanity

Bodyguard

Emily the "Creepy Beast"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Encrypted Isle

Abandoned Carnival

Delight Sanctuary

Random Events

Vegetable skins a cat with his teeth

Princess Protests

Buccaneer Integrates silently into the group

Dracula Glistens gently

World

Stores

Callie's Candle Labs

Campbell's Coat of Arms Convenience store

Cobb's Notebook Little shop

McGuire's Doorway Group

Traps

Object Smeared with Poison

Poison Wall Spikes of Obsession

Objects

Candle that is glowing

Notebook children's replica

Secret Coat of Arms

Hidden Blowgun

Spear of Obsession

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he owns everything now in his line of sight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kayla Campbell "Short Arms" Merchant Candles Basketball
Tucker Cobb "Stiff Thumbs" Mole Clocks Water
Madeline Schmidt Stressed Snowglobes Soap
Callie Thornton Statistician Rabbits Bears
Melody McGuire Judge Chili Baseball

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).