The Director Welcomes You

Who is Penelope Jury?

#5aa6e6

Location

Sunny, Gorgeous Comoros

Time of Day

4:1

Extraction Point

40 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside be locked inside of a Archaic Island . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Gross Siren" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The earth shakes briefly at the Wizard's Scar". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Evil Bolt Cutter hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jameson Barton

Alias

"Gross Siren"

Features

4' 2"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Community of Fierce Luge

Emotions

Eager

Personality

Viciously Prehistoric

Motive

Take over a government to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Dangerous Serpent"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Creepy Barn Dance

Bustling Peninsula

Casualties Maze

Random Events

Mutant explodes

Rhapsody Is accused by the law

Cauldron Catches leprosy

Meteor Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Zachary's Trunk Bureau

Morris's Butter Churner Little shop

Walsh's Cabinet Warehouse

Farmer's Toolbox Industries

Traps

Acid Arrow

Earthquake of Violence

Objects

Trunk that is glowing

Cabinet that has been hollowed out

Secret Butter Churner

Hidden Rapier

Boomerang of Violence

Wand of Wonder

All water within 50 yards turns to milk

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Anthony Morris "Obese Throats" Merchant Hamsters Cooking
Eden Walsh "Red Heels" Mole Chalk Water
Ethan Moss Talent agent Balloons Rubber Stamps
Zachary Potter Surveyor Peanut Butter Socks
Brayden Farmer Art Therapist Cousins Stickers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).