The Director Welcomes You

The Raw Map Mission

#457a15

Location

Overcast, Windless Cambodia

Time of Day

13:45

Extraction Point

196 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Spy Deputies,
I have sent you to within a Ancient Arcade to look for a suspect by the name "Casual Drunken Irish Guy". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "An out of place door appears at the Frozen palace".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Delicate Level in your kit to help.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Luke Solis

Alias

"Casual Drunken Irish Guy"

Features

6' 4"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Crew of Orange Upper Management

Emotions

Inferior

Personality

Naturally Purring

Motive

Make a lot of money justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Angry Griffin"

Physical Size

Considerable

Story

Additional Locations

The Raw City

Hidden Manor

Fatality Port

Random Events

Chicken Crashes slowly

Majestic Painting skins a cat with his teeth

Thief Is being kidnapped

Crazy Man scurries by

World

Stores

Zoe's Bonsai Labs

Murphy's Skeletal Animal Arcade

Woods's Coat of Arms Threads

Graves's Portrait Labs

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Bestow Curse of Power

Objects

Bonsai with a False bottom

Coat of Arms with a False bottom

Secret Skeletal Animal

Hidden Notebook

Magazine of Power

Wand of Wonder

Caster can’t cast magic on anyone not wearing armor

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Timothy Murphy "Indigo Hearts" Merchant Cats Horses
Elizabeth Woods "Junior Livers" Mole Painting Books
Tristan Aguilar Blacksmith Scarves Ice Cubes
Zoe Daniel Demon Bread Batteries
Ryan Graves Psychiatrist Pillows Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).