The Director Welcomes You

The Scarcely Meaty Agent

#fad0cc

Location

Wet, Sunny China

Time of Day

6:18

Extraction Point

93 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to the outside of a Abandoned Villa to look for a suspect by the name "Slow starfish". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Grove of Weeping Willows".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Invisible Baking Tray in your kit to help.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sarah Schmidt

Alias

"Slow starfish"

Features

4' 6"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Fraternity of Petite Insignia

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Scarcely Shrilling

Motive

Take over a government for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Putrid Pixie"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Meaty Chateau

Underground Crypt

Downfall Spring

Random Events

Store arrives in the mail

Bank Crashes slowly

Bunny Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Toilet Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Dawson's Coat Labs

Hunt's Loveseat Couture

Black's Spare brick Cosmetics

Robertson's File Solutions

Traps

Poison Needle

Extended Bane of Downfall

Objects

Coat made of heavy metal

Spare brick that has been hollowed out

Secret Loveseat

Hidden Blowgun

Axe of Downfall

Wand of Wonder

Caster is increasingly convinced that he just might be a deity

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Peyton Hunt "Yellow Spleens" Merchant Lipstick Tissues
Nicole Black "Casual Legs" Mole Teeth Television
Lauren Reynolds Banker Clocks Tissues
Dawson Pierce Judge Notes Sun Glasses
Anna Robertson Vision Tea Scarves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).