The Director Welcomes You
The Effigy Competency Protocol
#9b1e4b
Operatives, It seems "Cramped Elephants" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "A pool of blood at the Three Fingers". We need you to eliminate them, Frankly. Their last known location was recorded at 06:09. You have a Clean Belt as a last resort. Use carefully.
— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.
Elliott Gutierrez
"Cramped Elephants"
6' 9"
Brown eyes
Large moles / Left middle finger
The Committee of Dowdy Harmony
Sad
Frankly Tender
Take over a government for pure destruction
Jackie the "Prickly Kangaroos"
Immense
The Filthy Castle
Overpopulated Business
Annihilation Grove
Goblet Is getting confiscated
Jug of Peanut Butter Is throwing a BBQ
Fairy Attempts to rob a bank
Squirrel Adopts a nearby child
Colton's Barrel Unlimited
Schneider's Figurine Wardrobe
Gilbert's Fireplace Threads
Hayes's Satchel Mall
Poison Wall Spikes
Compacting Room of Competency
Barrel with a False bottom
Fireplace children's replica
Secret Figurine
Hidden Medallion
Hammers of Competency
Target’s neck doubles in length
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Emery Schneider | "King Legs" | Merchant | Television | Rocks |
| Alexander Gilbert | "Small Hot Dogs" | Mole | Acorns | Doves |
| Carlos Goodwin | Townsfolk | Eggs | Rock n' Roll | |
| Colton Ruiz | Physician | Clocks | Bread | |
| Vivian Hayes | Lawyer | Sharp Things | Lions |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).