The Director Welcomes You

The Problem Optimism Incident

#7b7aa5

Location

Gorgeous, Gloomy Angola

Time of Day

12:33

Extraction Point

58 Miles NW

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Samantha Gregory has gone missing and we believe "Short Abominable Snowman" is responsible. They were last seen in Angola at 15:19. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Field of Wildflowers". Take this Angry Blender - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eli Marshall

Alias

"Short Abominable Snowman"

Features

7' 3"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Board of Alive Voyage

Emotions

Adoration

Personality

Bravely Common

Motive

Take over a country out of desperation

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Wet Basilisk"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Screeching Suburbs

Underwater Manor

Calming Lake

Random Events

Wedding Cake Is being kidnapped

Ninja skins a cat with his teeth

Spectator Bursts loudly

Pickpocket Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Jasper's Telescope Emporium

Holland's Potted Plant Chic Chåteau

Hunter's crutch Labs

Gregory's Trinket Specialities

Traps

Burning Hands

Ceiling Pendulum of Optimism

Objects

Telescope that has been hollowed out

crutch that has been hollowed out

Secret Potted Plant

Hidden Throwing Dart

Camera of Optimism

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s fingers seem ice cold to anyone other than the caster

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Rose Holland "King Tongues" Merchant Doors Technology
Brielle Hunter "Quiet Lemons" Mole Horses Hamsters
Matteo Wagner Annoyed Soccer Gym Memberships
Jasper Glover Musician Bracelets Essential Oils
Samantha Gregory Master Distiller Baseball Dolphins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).