The Director Welcomes You

The Vainly Fugly Agent

#c35bf6

Location

Windless, Sunny Palau

Time of Day

4:43

Extraction Point

27 Miles SE

Time to Complete

21 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Gabriel Watts has gone missing and we believe "Blue Roc" is responsible. They were last seen in Palau at 17:17. The agent sent one final message – "The earth shakes briefly at the Garden of Bears". Take this Bulbous Blender - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Timothy Parks

Alias

"Blue Roc"

Features

6' 3"

Amber eyes

Faint curved scar / Right arm

Organization

The Company of Chewy Reward

Emotions

Alarmed

Personality

Vainly Millions

Motive

Disrupt the military to control the Children

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Glamorous The Grim Reaper"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Fugly Mansion

Desolate Chateau

Power Jungle

Random Events

Procession Skips merrily

Pickpocket Ignites violently

Baker Finds gold in the water

German Trench Club Finds gold in the water

World

Stores

Morgan's Medallion Warehouse

Sutton's Grandfather Clock Supermarket

Jensen's Vanity Specialities

Watts's Statue Closet

Traps

Floor Net

Compacting Room of Bitterness

Objects

Medallion that has been hollowed out

Vanity that has been hollowed out

Secret Grandfather Clock

Hidden File

Blowgun of Bitterness

Wand of Wonder

Target must Save each morning or be ethereal until dusk

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nicole Sutton "Chunky Hot Dogs" Merchant Chickens Basketball
Avery Jensen "Drowsy Livers" Mole Rocks Books
Kaiden Bryant Zestful Whipped Cream Squirrels
Morgan Bates Indifferent Candy Sponges
Gabriel Watts Funeral Director Rubber Bands Cooking

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).