The Director Welcomes You

Convenience store Royale

#8b2357

Location

Cool, Dull Austria

Time of Day

24:12

Extraction Point

58 Miles N

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to the bottom of a Rundown Villa to look for a suspect by the name "Two Alien". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A roll of thunder at the Beast's Maze".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Beautiful Pencil in your kit to help.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kinsley Dixon

Alias

"Two Alien"

Features

4' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Faint curved scar / Left eye

Organization

The League of Extensive Trick

Emotions

Alarmed

Personality

Physically Shrilling

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Melodic Mummy"

Physical Size

Narrow

Story

Additional Locations

The Uneven Creek

Overpopulated Masquerade

Ice Reef

Random Events

Vagabond catches on fire

Procession Attempts to rob a bank

Chanting Cult screams at the top of their lungs

Cookie stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

Allison's Marionette Convenience store

Simon's Figurine Warehouse

Maldonado's Cabinet Boutique

Contreras's Taxidermy animal International

Traps

Rolling Rock

Box of Brown Mold of Catastrophe

Objects

Marionette with a False bottom

Cabinet made of heavy metal

Secret Figurine

Hidden Glasses

Greaves of Catastrophe

Wand of Wonder

Nearest wizard is equally affected by magic he casts on others

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dominic Simon "Chunky Stomachs" Merchant Potatoes Chili
Penelope Maldonado "Right Livers" Mole Balloons Rubber Stamps
Leo Pearson Human Statue Teeth Toilets
Allison Morgan Zestful Cellphones Cookies
Oscar Contreras Frazzled Whipped Cream Pillows

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).