The Director Welcomes You

The Incalculable Bust Contingency

#5fa0a0

Location

Sunny, Rainy United Kingdom

Time of Day

17:0

Extraction Point

79 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to circle a Deserted Casino to look for a suspect by the name "Dull Banshee". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to stop the outbreak. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A roll of thunder at the Ivory Gate".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clandestine Ladder in your kit to help.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Finn Hines

Alias

"Dull Banshee"

Features

5' 9"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Community of Odd Boots

Emotions

Restless

Personality

Fortunately Annoying

Motive

Make a lot of money to please their master

Bodyguard

Billy the "Green Pixie"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Incalculable Creek

Pitch Black Lodge

Grave Consequences Carousal

Random Events

Vagabond Lunges at the group

Bum Glistens gently

Herd of Chicken Balances on a ledge

Sewer Finds gold in the water

World

Stores

Jameson's Faberge Egg Ventures

Mueller's Statuette Specialities

Ramsey's Desk Warehouse

Harrison's Tea Pot Boutique

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Floor Net of Catastrophe

Objects

Faberge Egg that has been hollowed out

Desk with a False bottom

Secret Statuette

Hidden Glasses

Camera of Catastrophe

Wand of Wonder

Caster mispronounces everyone’s name, offensively if possible

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Elizabeth Mueller "Blue Hands" Merchant Death Soda
London Ramsey "Red Cheesecakes" Mole Washing Machines Hammers
Arianna Morgan Flirty Hammers Water
Jameson Young Depressed Sailboats Harmonica
Mateo Harrison Geologist Toilets Photography

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).