The Director Welcomes You

Labs Royale

#6c03dd

Location

Hot, Windy Slovakia

Time of Day

8:1

Extraction Point

73 Miles NE

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to the outside of a Deserted Lodge to look for a suspect by the name "Cramped Dolphin". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A black cat runs past at the Ghost Town".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Rusty Newspaper in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Daisy Henry

Alias

"Cramped Dolphin"

Features

4' 3"

Red eyes

Large moles / Crotch

Organization

The Authority of Moist Buffet

Emotions

Content

Personality

Shakily Elegant

Motive

Disrupt the military for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Jack the "Pugilistic Drunken Irish Guy"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Insidious City

Desolate Creek

Freshness Jungle

Random Events

Woman Skips merrily

Prostitute drops from the sky

Bottle of Soy Sauce emerges

Keg Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Robin's Pipe Labs

Parker's Ceramic Crock Boutique

Franklin's Workbench Logistics

Mclaughlin's crutch Bureau

Traps

Compacting Room

Reverse Gravity of Delirium

Objects

Pipe that has been hollowed out

Workbench that has been hollowed out

Secret Ceramic Crock

Hidden Boiled Leather

Boiled Leather of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Caster is wearing nothing but a thin loincloth

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isaiah Parker "Gross Eyes" Merchant Plushies Potatoes
Joseph Franklin "Fat Pastrami's" Mole Writers Washing Machines
Alyssa Watkins Consultant Tissues Writers
Robin Barnes Blacksmith Rubber Stamps Technology
Jesse Mclaughlin Frustrated Physics Ice Cubes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).