The Director Welcomes You

Industries Royale

#cdfc5b

Location

Wet, Warm Ireland

Time of Day

2:22

Extraction Point

92 Miles N

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Ambassadors,
We need your help. Agent Rose Pope has gone missing and we believe "Four Mummy" is responsible. They were last seen in Ireland at 23:13. The agent sent one final message – "A thick fog rolls in at the Ancient Fountain". Take this Evil Wrench - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mattie Carlson

Alias

"Four Mummy"

Features

4' 1"

Blue eyes

Large moles / Left leg

Organization

The Authority of Creamy Cactus

Emotions

Hopeful

Personality

Correctly Proud

Motive

Take over a country to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Harrison the "White Python"

Physical Size

Narrow

Story

Additional Locations

The Spicy Barn Dance

Crowded Forest

Virtue Maze

Random Events

Procession arrives in the mail

Drunk is loose

Midwife Attempts to rob a bank

Musical Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

William's Hatrack Industries

Silva's Pipe Little shop

Barnes's Statue Du jour

Pope's Key Outlet

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Rune of Paralyzation of Enjoyment

Objects

Hatrack that has been hollowed out

Statue children's replica

Secret Pipe

Hidden Spoon

Button of Enjoyment

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he’ll combust if he gets wet

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jonah Silva "Little Ankles" Merchant Death Essential Oils
Rowan Barnes "Cheap Thumbs" Mole Chili Soap
Bennett Molina Exhausted Squirrels Lamps
William Alvarez Stressed Honey Horses
Rose Pope Headhunter Whipped Cream Gym Memberships

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).