The Director Welcomes You

The Lace Censorship Protocol

#80a04c

Location

Overcast, Cloudless Thailand

Time of Day

0:5

Extraction Point

21 Miles W

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Eyeballs,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Hose children's replica. Get to Thailand at 18:03

Good Luck.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alex Carlson

Alias

"Tough kobold"

Features

4' 8"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Left eye

Organization

The Club of Old-Fashioned Game

Emotions

Nervous

Personality

Quarrelsomely Rapping

Motive

Make a lot of money out of survival

Bodyguard

Al the "Worn Owlman"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Puckish Crypt

Compact Sanctuary

Casualties Citadel

Random Events

Dancer Balances on a ledge

Bear Catches leprosy

Procession overflows

Vegetable Evades the law

World

Stores

Eli's Hose Worldwide

Gill's Goblet Closet

Powers's Sink Little shop

Moody's Certificate Factory

Traps

Poison Dart

Poisoned Arrow of Censorship

Objects

Hose children's replica

Sink that has been hollowed out

Secret Goblet

Hidden Rapier

Hammers of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby must Save vs Death or freeze solid

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Damian Gill "The Legs" Merchant Soda Doves
George Powers "Big Muscles" Mole Boxes Water
Ava Henderson Banker Bears Deodorant
Eli Malone Fortune Cookie Writer Glass Jazz
Blake Moody Engineer Music Football

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).