The Director Welcomes You

Who is Charles Orifice?

#3f9504

Location

Hot, Gloomy Venezuela

Time of Day

7:7

Extraction Point

32 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

16 Hours

Scrutinizers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Satchel children's replica. Get to Venezuela at 13:20

Good Luck.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Harmony Paul

Alias

"Sharp kobold"

Features

7' 9"

Brown eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Community of Pernicious Chili

Emotions

Shamed

Personality

Physically Proud

Motive

Disrupt the military for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Charles the "Encrusted Pheonix"

Physical Size

Considerable

Story

Additional Locations

The Agreeable Shelter

Crowded Palace

Instability Lodge

Random Events

Woman meets disaster

Building Is throwing a BBQ

Dozen Eggs grabs a lady's purse

Bank Ignites violently

World

Stores

Adalyn's Satchel International

White's Butter Churner Arcade

Klein's Bureau Closet

Day's Wingback chair Bureau

Traps

Large Net

Bear Trap of Fate

Objects

Satchel children's replica

Bureau with a False bottom

Secret Butter Churner

Hidden Bow

Collar of Fate

Wand of Wonder

When caster next draws blood, he teleports 1d100 yards

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jade White "Black Knuckles" Merchant Pillows Writers
Lorenzo Klein "Bullet Knuckles" Mole Sticky Notes Squirrels
Madeline Bates Drummer Pillows Potatoes
Adalyn Robbins Banker Glitter Attention
Elena Day Bounty hunter Chalk Jazz

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).