The Director Welcomes You

The Slime Euthanasia Incident

#24cd2d

Location

Icy, Gorgeous New Zealand

Time of Day

15:49

Extraction Point

140 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Snoopers,
I have sent you to the top of a Underground Forge to look for a suspect by the name "Bullet Pixie". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to slow them down. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A black cat runs past at the Serpents Nest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Vicious Balloon in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eric Waters

Alias

"Bullet Pixie"

Features

7' 9"

Amber eyes

Stretch Marks / Left leg

Organization

The Council of Low Sasquatch

Emotions

Indifferent

Personality

Sedately Skinny

Motive

Take over a government to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

David the "Rotten Gnome"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Warm Mansion

Abandoned House

Extinction House

Random Events

Rhapsody Is under a curse

Woman catches on fire

Nearby Gas Tank Is being kidnapped

Butter Shipment Becomes wounded

World

Stores

Sydney's crutch Brothers

Davidson's Faberge Egg Mall

Erickson's Bookcase Supermarket

Hart's Coat of Arms Du jour

Traps

Ray of Sickness

Poison Dart of Euthanasia

Objects

crutch with a False bottom

Bookcase that is glowing

Secret Faberge Egg

Hidden Boomerang

Gauntlet of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

Target has 1d100 tiny steel spheres embedded in his skin

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kinsley Davidson "Left Heels" Merchant Doves Gym Memberships
Justin Erickson "Cramped Noses" Mole Houses Money
Preston Gill Annoyed Washing Machines Lamps
Sydney Bryant Consultant Harmonica Balloons
Norah Hart Headhunter Lamps Acorns

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).