The Director Welcomes You

The Truthfully Bitter Agent

#b26db2

Location

Breezy, Wet Guyana

Time of Day

13:56

Extraction Point

93 Miles E

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Investigators,
It seems "All Python" has gone level 1. They have been broadcasting this message "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Old battlefield". We need you to eliminate them, Truthfully. Their last known location was recorded at 16:07. You have a Light Audio Cassette as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sara Bradley

Alias

"All Python"

Features

5' 7"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Union of Short Galley

Emotions

Relaxed

Personality

Truthfully Crooked

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Darnell the "Smelly Nymph"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Bitter Mansion

Bustling Park

Death Forest

Random Events

Drunk emerges

Panhandler Strikes the church bell

Bag of Lemons drops from the sky

Crying Child Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Eleanor's Skeletal Animal Emporium

Fischer's Marionette Bureau

Bush's Kitchen knife Supermarket

Peters's Counter Atelier

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Acid Arrow of Passion

Objects

Skeletal Animal that has been hollowed out

Kitchen knife made of heavy metal

Secret Marionette

Hidden Chastity Belt

Frying Pan of Passion

Wand of Wonder

Caster suffers intense pain in his eyes whenever he sees undead

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cora Fischer "Meaty Scars" Merchant Sun Glasses Tea
Luke Bush "Orange Parmigianas" Mole Candy Football
Amir Blake Butcher Sticky Notes Washing Machines
Eleanor Saunders Elevator Mechanic Soda Easter
Teagan Peters Soul Books Robots

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).