The Director Welcomes You

The Lazy Problem Commission

#acfa6c

Location

Stormy, Miserable Sudan

Time of Day

18:17

Extraction Point

49 Miles E

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
It seems "Mini Leprechaun" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Devil's barrow". We need you to eliminate them, Officially. Their last known location was recorded at 21:07. You have a Fluffy Can Opener as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Paisley Frazier

Alias

"Mini Leprechaun"

Features

5' 10"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Gang of Panicky Pool

Emotions

Grief-stricken

Personality

Officially Gentle

Motive

Make a lot of money to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Disruptive Opossums"

Physical Size

Diminutive

Story

Additional Locations

The Lazy Citadel

Underwater Jungle

Fatality Masquerade

Random Events

Odor Skips merrily

Bottle of Soy Sauce is being loudly arrested

Ninja Spontaneously disintegrates

Box of Cigarette Glistens gently

World

Stores

Emily's Coat of Arms Warehouse

Fischer's Trinket Brothers

Campbell's Wingback chair Logistics

Page's Flower in Vase Mall

Traps

Rune of Paralyzation

Flooded Corridor of Peace

Objects

Coat of Arms that is glowing

Wingback chair with a False bottom

Secret Trinket

Hidden Shoe

Falchion of Peace

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t come within one mile of his home

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Valerie Fischer "One Ankles" Merchant Bears Tea
Jace Campbell "Wild Bones" Mole Children's Stories Stickers
Natalie Montgomery Engineer Paperclips Chocolate
Emily Hanson Tailor Writers Bears
Ashley Page Architect Music Rabbits

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).