The Director Welcomes You

The Curved Leg Crux

#c9144f

Location

Dull, Icy India

Time of Day

13:31

Extraction Point

62 Miles S

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Antonio Gonzales has gone missing and we believe "The Golem" is responsible. They were last seen in India at 18:23. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Turtle Rock". Take this Heavy Bottle - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Christian Harrison

Alias

"The Golem"

Features

4' 8"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Neck

Organization

The Association of Mysterious Girls

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Deceivingly Tall

Motive

Take over a country for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Carl the "Wet Humanoid"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Curved Castle

Crowded Reef

Vulnerability Lodge

Random Events

Carcass Is getting confiscated

Store Bursts loudly

Store grabs a lady's purse

Princess Ignites violently

World

Stores

Brandon's Quill and Ink Mall

Lopez's Spice shelf Worldwide

Osborne's Figurine Discount

Gonzales's Sconce Boutique

Traps

Floor Net

Poison Needle of Amnesia

Objects

Quill and Ink made of heavy metal

Figurine that has been hollowed out

Secret Spice shelf

Hidden Guthook

Guthook of Amnesia

Wand of Wonder

Target knows an economical way to extract aluminum from bauxite

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jasmine Lopez "Meaty Pretzels" Merchant Pillows Balloons
Everly Osborne "Fast Muscles" Mole Rock n' Roll Photography
Joshua Lewis Funeral Director Essential Oils Soup
Brandon Carroll Talent agent Comic Books Coffee
Antonio Gonzales Meteorologist Sun Glasses Syrup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).