The Director Welcomes You

Disease, Disease, Hand, Spy.

#e1ee0d

Location

Bright, Cloudless Poland

Time of Day

4:13

Extraction Point

42 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Archaic Sanctuary . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "The Abominable Snowman" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A vagrant asks for food at the Old battlefield". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Polished Hammock hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Arianna Young

Alias

"The Abominable Snowman"

Features

7' 10"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Neck

Organization

The Commission of Mango Hand

Emotions

Irritated

Personality

Arrogantly Fierce

Motive

Take over a country to be left alone

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Feisty Pig"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Jocular Citadel

Polluted Crypt

Disaster Manor

Random Events

Deadbeat runs over an infant

Transport stop the party and asks questions

Crowd Calls menacingly

Soup Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Isabella's Flower in Vase Solutions

George's Sink Industries

Mejia's Loveseat Threads

Flynn's Kitchen knife Little shop

Traps

Acid Fog

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Stealth

Objects

Flower in Vase made of heavy metal

Loveseat children's replica

Secret Sink

Hidden Sticks

Handcuffs of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

Caster erases one randomly-chosen spell from his spellbook

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jace George "Two Elbows" Merchant Trucks Honey
Quinn Mejia "Italian Elbows" Mole Deodorant Trucks
Emily Cross Police Officer Snowglobes Paperclips
Isabella Simpson Statistician Harmonica Soap
Isaac Flynn Old Man Potatoes Flashlights

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).