The Director Welcomes You

Who is Peter Basement?

#60c66c

Location

Balmy, Wet Chile

Time of Day

23:58

Extraction Point

165 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Eyeballs,
It seems "Short Banshee" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the old bridge". We need you to eliminate them, Foolishly. Their last known location was recorded at 07:19. You have a Soft Spoon as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hadley Scott

Alias

"Short Banshee"

Features

6' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Left leg

Organization

The Authority of Great Shunt

Emotions

Optimistic

Personality

Foolishly High

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Peter the "Damaged Lion"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Screeching Masquerade

Polluted Fortress

Well-being Crypt

Random Events

Chunk of Beef Catches leprosy

Bag of Lemons Balances on a ledge

Lactose Intolerance scurries by

Bum Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Noah's Metal chair Unlimited

Schwartz's Rubber Plant Outlet

Deleon's Landscape Du jour

Gutierrez's Tea Set Creative

Traps

Chain Lightning

Poison Dart of Animosity

Objects

Metal chair made of heavy metal

Landscape that has been hollowed out

Secret Rubber Plant

Hidden Falchion

Scimitar of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t attack until he drops his weapons, gear, and clothes

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Beau Schwartz "Quiet Livers" Merchant Lions Bells
Ashton Deleon "Dull Forearms" Mole Paperclips Rabbits
Carter Ramos Engineer Lions Notes
Noah Cohen Operator Plushies Socks
Arya Gutierrez Scientist Candles Hammers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).