The Director Welcomes You

The Debt Perspiration Incident

#910259

Location

Windy, Stormy Cuba

Time of Day

10:18

Extraction Point

76 Miles E

Time to Complete

16 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to the bottom of a Polluted Labratory to look for a suspect by the name "Five Eel". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to deactivate their resources. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A lone flower growing at the Snowy garrison".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clandestine Belt in your kit to help.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Preston Castro

Alias

"Five Eel"

Features

6' 7"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Right eye

Organization

The Bureau of High Earthquake

Emotions

Receptive

Personality

Swiftly Yellow

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Tony the "Uptight Basilisk"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Sore Business

Rundown Island

Extermination Palace

Random Events

Sewer Becomes wounded

Tramp emerges

Chunk of Beef Is under a curse

Hoard Finds gold in the water

World

Stores

Leilani's Paperweight Outlet

Perkins's Oil Lamp Factory

Taylor's Ceramic Crock Arcade

Daniel's Letter Opener Specialities

Traps

Flooding Room

Fire of Perspiration

Objects

Paperweight made of heavy metal

Ceramic Crock children's replica

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Banana

Bracer of Perspiration

Wand of Wonder

Target has terrifying hallucinations about his own birth

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aubree Perkins "Silver Hands" Merchant Limes Houses
Ashton Taylor "Black Hearts" Mole Snowglobes Soap
Grace Reynolds Midwife Dice Sun Glasses
Leilani Lyons Midwife Money Candy
Xander Daniel Frazzled Cellphones Baseball

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).