The Director Welcomes You

The Pizza Laughter Protocol

#e648e4

Location

Foggy, Stormy United Kingdom

Time of Day

3:17

Extraction Point

191 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
As you can see you are trapped inside descend into Abandoned Crypt . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Meaty Normal Guy" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A traveling merchant appears at the Three Fingers". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Delicate Balloon hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ava Pena

Alias

"Meaty Normal Guy"

Features

6' 8"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The company of Filthy Cash

Emotions

Grief-stricken

Personality

Deliberately Crooked

Motive

Make a lot of money for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Donald the "Feisty Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Giant

Story

Additional Locations

The Hissing Crypt

Polluted Maze

Good Spirits House

Random Events

Feminist scurries by

Tramp skins a cat with his teeth

Chauvinist Gets their hand chopped off

Wedding Cake Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

World

Stores

Brandon's Shelf of alcohol Du jour

Fernandez's Pan Unlimited

Boyd's Platter Warehouse

Sanchez's Hose Logistics

Traps

Compacting Room

Fusillade of Darts of Laughter

Objects

Shelf of alcohol with a False bottom

Platter with a False bottom

Secret Pan

Hidden Diary

Necklace of Laughter

Wand of Wonder

Target’s body appears to be made entirely of cork

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Julianna Fernandez "The Forearms" Merchant Trucks Plushies
Ariana Boyd "Little Forearms" Mole Batteries Bracelets
Athena Reyes Master Distiller Jigsaw Puzzles Technology
Brandon Marshall Surgeon Doors Limes
Greyson Sanchez Elevator Mechanic Bells Cookies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).