The Director Welcomes You

Squirrel, Spoon, Ashtray, Spy.

#3eb486

Location

Miserable, Windy Syria

Time of Day

20:56

Extraction Point

123 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Operatives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Bottle with a False bottom. Get to Syria at 15:03

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jace Peters

Alias

"One Seal"

Features

4' 4"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Brotherhood of Gifted Ashtray

Emotions

Rageful

Personality

Fondly Melodic

Motive

Take over a government to lust for power

Bodyguard

Tony the "Rabid Rhinoceroses"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Happy Crypt

Rundown Festival

Amnesia Sanctuary

Random Events

Wedding Cake is loose

Safe Is being tortured

Husband Is getting confiscated

Milk Shipment Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Genesis's Bottle Chic Chåteau

Wilson's Tapestry Du jour

McCarthy's Taxidermy animal Threads

Parker's Picture Frame Labs

Traps

Floor Net

Acid Arrow of Peace

Objects

Bottle with a False bottom

Taxidermy animal children's replica

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Blindfold

Brass Knuckles of Peace

Wand of Wonder

Next enemy to wound caster is heavily smeared with bacon grease

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hudson Wilson "Plump Feet" Merchant Hamsters Writers
Mateo McCarthy "One Elbows" Mole Bread Flashlights
Brooklyn Hawkins Professional Bridesmaid Soap Sailboats
Genesis Leon Zestful Dice Octopus
Eliza Parker Funeral Director Bells Cousins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).