The Director Welcomes You

The Basement Purity Incident

#8a2373

Location

Frigid, Cloudless East Timor

Time of Day

13:9

Extraction Point

103 Miles SE

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Snoopers,
We need your help. Agent Catherine Stephens has gone missing and we believe "Two starfish" is responsible. They were last seen in East Timor at 20:15. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Serpents Nest". Take this Invisible Apron - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Angelina Flynn

Alias

"Two starfish"

Features

4' 4"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Bunch of Engorged Zebra

Emotions

Relaxed

Personality

Sadly Drawn

Motive

Take over a government to save humanity

Bodyguard

Harold the "Mandatory Mummy"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Hot Shelter

Archaic Citadel

The Blackest Black Masquerade

Random Events

Woman Is frozen into a block of ice

Swarm of Bees Is hurled at the adventurers

Musical drops from the sky

Gang Protests

World

Stores

August's Sconce Logistics

Jackson's Pan Chic Chåteau

Campos's Statue Logistics

Stephens's Skeletal Animal Wardrobe

Traps

Falling Block

Bestow Curse of Purity

Objects

Sconce made of heavy metal

Statue that has been hollowed out

Secret Pan

Hidden Lipstick

Boomerang of Purity

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s head is discovered to be a mechanical construct

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Elliot Jackson "Left Ribs" Merchant Deodorant Chalk
Sawyer Campos "Violet Pretzels" Mole Snowglobes Trucks
Ivan Navarro Tailor Easter Quartz Crystals
August Chapman Exhilarated Rocks Notes
Catherine Stephens Butcher Rubber Bands Singing

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).