The Director Welcomes You

The Economics Annihilation Protocol

#56ad17

Location

Stormy, Windless Egypt

Time of Day

24:18

Extraction Point

193 Miles NW

Time to Complete

9 Hours

Ambassadors,
I have sent you to enter a Archaic City to look for a suspect by the name "Plump Spirit". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Skull shaped island".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clandestine Bible in your kit to help.

β€” The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sara Page

Alias

"Plump Spirit"

Features

7' 3"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Left foot

Organization

The Society of High Kitten

Emotions

Tenderness

Personality

Extremely Ripe

Motive

Take over a country for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Donald the "Fast Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Fresh Fortress

Hidden Chateau

Ice Isle

Random Events

Fairy Ignites violently

Butter Shipment skins a cat with his teeth

Gang stop the party and asks questions

Odor Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Hazel's Urn Department store

Reynolds's Cabinet Ventures

Pena's Tea Set International

Knight's Candle Unlimited

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Razor-Wire across Hallway of Annihilation

Objects

Urn children's replica

Tea Set that is glowing

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Rock

Trident of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

People who meet target for the first time think he’s a thief

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Fiona Reynolds "Indigo Legs" Merchant Stickers Cousins
Scarlett Pena "Stiff Arms" Mole Technology Harmonica
Eli Brewer Physician Chocolate Fire
Hazel Allen Secretary Candy Lamps
Violet Knight Annoyed Paperclips Chalk

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).