The Director Welcomes You

The Election Bliss Protocol

#8f99be

Location

Wet, Stormy Guinea-Bissau

Time of Day

14:58

Extraction Point

89 Miles S

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Ambassadors,
As you can see you are trapped inside climb a Desolate Peninsula . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Three Porpoises" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the Devil's barrow". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Explosive Atlas hidden on you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Nicholas Cohen

Alias

"Three Porpoises"

Features

7' 1"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Bureau of Puckish Bat

Emotions

Attraction

Personality

Deceivingly Edgy

Motive

Make a lot of money to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Rapid Horse"

Physical Size

Immense

Story

Additional Locations

The Tasty Lagoon

Polluted City

Reservation Manor

Random Events

Buccaneer Is throwing a BBQ

Biscuit runs over an infant

Reindeer catches on fire

Donkey Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Zion's Kitchen knife Threads

Moody's Lamp Bureau

Alvarez's crutch Bureau

Doyle's Toolset Discount

Traps

Water-Filled Room

Falling Block of Bliss

Objects

Kitchen knife made of heavy metal

crutch made of heavy metal

Secret Lamp

Hidden Credit Card

Bottle of Bliss

Wand of Wonder

Target’s head considers itself separate from his body

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Asher Moody "Silver Ankles" Merchant Dice Attention
Thomas Alvarez "Little Bones" Mole Hammers Gym Memberships
Ezekiel Steele Artist Glass Peanut Butter
Zion Meyer Annoyed Jigsaw Puzzles Comic Books
John Doyle Midwife Essential Oils Quartz Crystals

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).