The Director Welcomes You

Who is James Boyscouts?

#1f53f5

Location

Chilly, Warm Belgium

Time of Day

8:10

Extraction Point

190 Miles SE

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Sleuths,
It seems "Five Siren" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "A thick fog rolls in at the Hollow oak tree". We need you to eliminate them, Regularly. Their last known location was recorded at 05:11. You have a Colorful Tape Measure as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Andrea Evans

Alias

"Five Siren"

Features

4' 5"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Guild of Slow Tendency

Emotions

Tenderness

Personality

Regularly Thoughtless

Motive

Take over a country because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

James the "Square Zombie"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Microscopic Peninsula

Rundown Crypt

Skill House

Random Events

Drunk drops from the sky

Chanting Cult Lunges at the group

Carcass Evades the law

Musical emerges

World

Stores

Jayden's Medallion Properties

Jennings's Pan Labs

Harrison's Lounge Chair Little shop

Wade's Workbench Warehouse

Traps

Bear Trap

Swinging Block of Competency

Objects

Medallion that has been hollowed out

Lounge Chair made of heavy metal

Secret Pan

Hidden Helmet

Soy Sauce Packet of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t be harmed by bludgeons for 2d10 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aubrey Jennings "Stiff Kidneys" Merchant Comic Books Glass
Messiah Harrison "Mad Throats" Mole Oranges Death
Miguel Matthews Elevator Mechanic Honey Lions
Jayden Conner Funeral Director Sponges Cooking
Richard Wade Firefighter Money Rubber Bands

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).