The Director Welcomes You

Little shop Royale

#303d49

Location

Humid, Hot Panama

Time of Day

1:22

Extraction Point

98 Miles NW

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "Three Anteaters" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a sword in a stone at the ruined castle". We need you to eliminate them, Unaccountably. Their last known location was recorded at 00:21. You have a Vicious Ashtray as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Adeline Boyd

Alias

"Three Anteaters"

Features

4' 7"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Order of Whining Leg

Emotions

Outraged

Personality

Unaccountably Mango

Motive

Disrupt the military out of desperation

Bodyguard

George the "Puny Mermaid"

Physical Size

Petty

Story

Additional Locations

The Full Circus

Deserted House

Indecision Jungle

Random Events

Midwife Attempts to rob a bank

Dancer stop the party and asks questions

Mutant Is frozen into a block of ice

Bottle of Soy Sauce is loose

World

Stores

Nolan's Window Little shop

Vasquez's Bonsai Bazaar

Cohen's Plaster Bust Factory

Harrison's Kitchen table Couture

Traps

Beehive

Earthquake of Euthanasia

Objects

Window that is glowing

Plaster Bust with a False bottom

Secret Bonsai

Hidden Magazine

Targe of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

All blades within 50 yards become clear like glass

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mateo Vasquez "Indigo Fingers" Merchant Sponges Horses
Karter Cohen "White Fingers" Mole Pillows Television
Amaya Gordon Waiter Glitter Lions
Nolan Richards Fortune Cookie Writer Rocks Clocks
Penelope Harrison Barber Lions Photography

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).