The Director Welcomes You

The Jealous Lunch Commission

#1b88ed

Location

Calm, Humid Burundi

Time of Day

6:54

Extraction Point

58 Miles E

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Dull Beholder" has gone level 1. They have been broadcasting this message "A black cat runs past at the Rainbow Mountain". We need you to eliminate them, Annually. Their last known location was recorded at 13:15. You have a Angry Towel as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

David Graves

Alias

"Dull Beholder"

Features

5' 6"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Left foot

Organization

The Club of Whispering Ghost

Emotions

Caring

Personality

Annually Facetious

Motive

Take over a government to lust for power

Bodyguard

David the "Rabid Anteaters"

Physical Size

Short

Story

Additional Locations

The Jealous Creek

Archaic Circus

Imperfection Lodge

Random Events

Spice Box skins a cat with his teeth

Nomad Ignites violently

Chunk of Beef Ignites violently

Dancer skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Elijah's Coat Unlimited

Norris's Credenza Solutions

Kelly's Landscape Closet

Kelly's Kitchen knife Technologies

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Earthquake of Passion

Objects

Coat that is glowing

Landscape children's replica

Secret Credenza

Hidden Blowgun

Katana of Passion

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that he’s immune to lycanthropy

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Maya Norris "Short Matzo Balls" Merchant Batteries Broccoli
Adrian Kelly "Bullet Kidneys" Mole Easter Boxes
Ella Mullins Midwife Flashlights Balloons
Elijah Soto Cheerful Photography Stickers
Iris Kelly Physician Singing Physics

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).