The Director Welcomes You

Convenience store Royale

#f74c0a

Location

Hot, Arid Somalia

Time of Day

10:25

Extraction Point

9 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Meddlers,
It seems "Slow Bigfoot" has gone level 1. They have been broadcasting this message "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Golden Fire". We need you to eliminate them, Deftly. Their last known location was recorded at 11:20. You have a Explosive Baking Tray as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Samuel Lawrence

Alias

"Slow Bigfoot"

Features

7' 5"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Left eye

Organization

The Crew of Magnificent Mass

Emotions

Helpless

Personality

Deftly Obedient

Motive

Make a lot of money for revenge

Bodyguard

Larry the "Cocky Alien"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Heavy Manor

Hidden Pond

Good Spirits Castle

Random Events

Beggar is robbed

Cookie Is hurled at the adventurers

Bank Is accused by the law

Soup emerges

World

Stores

Maverick's Platter Convenience store

Hardy's Toolset Atelier

Cole's Plaster Bust Market

Frazier's Barrel Market

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Extended Bane of Pleasure

Objects

Platter that has been hollowed out

Plaster Bust that is glowing

Secret Toolset

Hidden Cutlass

Katana of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s hands feel just like two balloons

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Valeria Hardy "Little Livers" Merchant Cats Essential Oils
Henry Cole "Slow Noses" Mole Cooking Socks
Bryson Roberts Counselor Television Stickers
Maverick Carpenter Zestful Stickers Chalk
Harper Frazier Talent agent Soccer Pillows

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).