The Director Welcomes You

Puddle, Ring, Luge, Spy.

#510999

Location

Foul, Wet Nauru

Time of Day

16:56

Extraction Point

187 Miles NE

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Four child" has gone level 1. They have been broadcasting this message "A pool of blood at the Ghost Town". We need you to eliminate them, Anxiously. Their last known location was recorded at 01:23. You have a Glowing Balloon as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mason Bowman

Alias

"Four child"

Features

5' 4"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left middle finger

Organization

The company of Small Luge

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Anxiously Irrelevant

Motive

Take over a government to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Petite Beholder"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Rapid Lake

Archaic Lodge

Weakness Lagoon

Random Events

Safe runs over an infant

Transport grabs a lady's purse

Wedding Cake skins a cat with his teeth

Biscuit Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Jayce's Toolbox Market

Malone's Easel Ventures

Miller's Flower in Vase Boutique

Reese's Staircase Ventures

Traps

Poison Dart

Hail of Needles of Fate

Objects

Toolbox children's replica

Flower in Vase with a False bottom

Secret Easel

Hidden Credit Card

Lighter of Fate

Wand of Wonder

Target’s weapon renders him mute for 1d8 hours after each battle

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emma Malone "All Lox" Merchant Death Sharp Things
Logan Miller "Left Cappuccinos" Mole Clocks Dice
Ryleigh Ramos Optimistic Cats Basketball
Jayce Lewis Cheerful Cookies Socks
Adalyn Reese Engineer Children's Stories Rocks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).