The Director Welcomes You

Cosmetics Royale

#17665a

Location

Breezy, Cloudy Panama

Time of Day

14:51

Extraction Point

200 Miles SE

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Rubber Plant made of heavy metal. Get to Panama at 08:05

Good Luck.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Leilani Ramirez

Alias

"Five Owlman"

Features

4' 7"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Board of Uninterested Orgy

Emotions

Exhilarated

Personality

Energetically Wailing

Motive

Disrupt the military to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Nick the "Melted Python"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Breezy Reef

Underwater Masquerade

Disaster Citadel

Random Events

Feminist Glistens gently

Hoard Is being tortured

Jug of Peanut Butter Salutes the adventurers

Squirrel drops from the sky

World

Stores

Natalia's Rubber Plant Cosmetics

Weaver's Bookcase Chic Chåteau

Moreno's Medallion Creative

Griffin's Chair Properties

Traps

Flooding Room

Bricks from Ceiling of Irritation

Objects

Rubber Plant made of heavy metal

Medallion that is glowing

Secret Bookcase

Hidden Spoon

Newspaper of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

The planet now rotates half as fast

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ava Weaver "Bullet Arms" Merchant Money Coffee
Gavin Moreno "Sharp Kidneys" Mole Cooking Harmonica
Andrew Hunt Vision Dice Chocolate
Natalia Reeves Frazzled Easter Death
Beau Griffin Old Man Dice Trees

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).