The Director Welcomes You

Fly, Media, Pelican, Spy.

#b0db0a

Location

Windless, Windy Kyrgyzstan

Time of Day

22:54

Extraction Point

103 Miles NE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Crowded Forest . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Meaty Nymph" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A vagrant asks for money at the Garden of Bears". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Delicate Nuts and Bolts hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Paisley Hartman

Alias

"Meaty Nymph"

Features

6' 10"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Left arm

Organization

The Gang of Deep Pelican

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Gladly Drawn

Motive

Take over a government out of greed

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Sensual Unicorn"

Physical Size

Narrow

Story

Additional Locations

The Colossal Masquerade

Hidden Park

Censorship Fortress

Random Events

Rhapsody Is throwing a BBQ

Potato Is under a curse

Biscuit explodes

Bag of Lemons Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Alejandro's Trophy Market

Francis's Satchel Convenience store

Cohen's Armoir Technologies

Brown's Drawers Logistics

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Bear Trap of Casualties

Objects

Trophy that is glowing

Armoir that has been hollowed out

Secret Satchel

Hidden Book

Greaves of Casualties

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t use any magic items older than he is

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adaline Francis "Fat Hands" Merchant Football Octopus
Candace Cohen "Wild Pastrami's" Mole Sun Glasses Sharks
Lilly Peters Hotel Manager Oranges Death
Alejandro Wolf Annoyed Essential Oils Sponges
Luna Brown Optimistic Honey Houses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).