The Director Welcomes You

Face, Smoke, Glove, Spy.

#2e5dd7

Location

Miserable, Cloudy Argentina

Time of Day

15:37

Extraction Point

43 Miles N

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Three gorgon" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a random cow at the Snowy garrison". We need you to eliminate them, Tediously. Their last known location was recorded at 10:19. You have a Vicious Bandana as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Everly Dean

Alias

"Three gorgon"

Features

4' 10"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Neck

Organization

The Guild of Crashing Glove

Emotions

Alarmed

Personality

Tediously Shaggy

Motive

Make a lot of money in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

George the "Happy Meerkat"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Obtuse Acropolis

Ancient Chateau

Casualties Fortress

Random Events

Safe Gets their hand chopped off

Dracula Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Softball explodes

Crowd overflows

World

Stores

Anthony's Credenza Bureau

Shelton's Mural Couture

Armstrong's Toolbox Labs

Vargas's Brass Replica Little shop

Traps

Extended Bane

Burning Hands of Calming

Objects

Credenza with a False bottom

Toolbox that is glowing

Secret Mural

Hidden Lighter

Stave of Calming

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby is revealed to be many centuries old

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Camila Shelton "Sharp Bones" Merchant Doors Teeth
Greyson Armstrong "Green Lemons" Mole Potatoes Jazz
Jayce Bowers Cobbler Boxes Christmas
Anthony Frank Zestful Batteries Sharks
Jose Vargas Exhilarated Water Television

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).