The Director Welcomes You

Who is John Digestion?

#fb51e1

Location

Windy, Arid Chad

Time of Day

7:45

Extraction Point

60 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Nice Zombie" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "An out of place door appears at the Hollow oak tree". We need you to eliminate them, Honestly. Their last known location was recorded at 12:16. You have a Glowing Spoon as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elliot Osborne

Alias

"Nice Zombie"

Features

4' 10"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Left thumb

Organization

The Firm of Angry Hockey Arena

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Honestly Vacant

Motive

Disrupt the military in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

John the "Damp Hydra"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Uninterested Lake

Compact Park

Extermination Carnival

Random Events

Bard emerges

Softball Balances on a ledge

Box of Cigarette Lunges at the group

Turtle strikes the ground

World

Stores

Maverick's Cutting board Consulting

Murray's Large book Logistics

Cummings's Bed Market

Dominguez's Kitchen table Warehouse

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Annihilation

Objects

Cutting board that has been hollowed out

Bed made of heavy metal

Secret Large book

Hidden Spikes

Pants of Annihilation

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s spellbook can be unfolded to function as a small boat

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Iris Murray "Drowsy Elbows" Merchant Sharks Peanut Butter
Andrea Cummings "The Fingers" Mole Washing Machines Stickers
Madelyn Cortez Statistician Baseball Syrup
Maverick Vargas Professional Cuddler Notes Easter
Elliott Dominguez Angry Quartz Crystals Soap

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).