The Director Welcomes You

Consulting Royale

#b50b4b

Location

Gorgeous, Arid Mongolia

Time of Day

7:23

Extraction Point

151 Miles SE

Time to Complete

39 Hours

Eyeballs,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Sofa made of heavy metal. Get to Mongolia at 00:03

Good Luck.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jameson White

Alias

"Little Cat"

Features

6' 4"

Green eyes

Faint curved scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Sisterhood of Chunky Yogapants

Emotions

Satisfied

Personality

Warmly Recessive

Motive

Disrupt the military to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Gifted Pheonix"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Rhythmic Mansion

Abandoned Reef

Grave Consequences House

Random Events

Demon Ignites violently

Whore approaches

Building grabs a lady's purse

Vegetable is robbed

World

Stores

Mckenzie's Sofa Consulting

Berry's Hanging Birdcage Wardrobe

Bishop's Urn Logistics

Hunt's Crate Du jour

Traps

Bear Trap

Flooded Corridor of Fatality

Objects

Sofa made of heavy metal

Urn with a False bottom

Secret Hanging Birdcage

Hidden Dagger

Bangle of Fatality

Wand of Wonder

Any charged magical items nearby are fully recharged

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adeline Berry "White Noses" Merchant Deodorant Doves
Chloe Bishop "Golden Lox" Mole Harmonica Sharp Things
Cecilia Gordon Drummer Octopus Paper
Mckenzie Higgins Midwife Jazz Dolphins
Alan Hunt Chef Mirrors Sponges

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).