The Director Welcomes You

Who is Nick Knife?

#11bcfc

Location

Dark, Windy Sri Lanka

Time of Day

1:46

Extraction Point

67 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

1 Hours

Scrutinizers,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Archaic Festival . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Cheap Humanoid" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A vagrant asks for money at the Beast's Maze". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Bulbous Baking Tray hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Eden Burke

Alias

"Cheap Humanoid"

Features

6' 7"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Community of Bad Babies

Emotions

Happy

Personality

Wildly Tall

Motive

Make a lot of money to please their master

Bodyguard

Nick the "Uptight Mermaid"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Verdant Isle

Expensive Festival

Bliss Port

Random Events

Toilet gathers near a point of interest

Squirrel Crashes slowly

Gunshot Crashes slowly

Cat catches on fire

World

Stores

Abigail's Ceramic Crock Industries

Schneider's Suit of armor Market

Sanders's Shirt Brothers

Jimenez's Trinket Unlimited

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Bear Trap of Destruction

Objects

Ceramic Crock made of heavy metal

Shirt children's replica

Secret Suit of armor

Hidden Fork

Spoon of Destruction

Wand of Wonder

All worked stone within 50 yards is briefly pliant as soft clay

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Sara Schneider "Sharp Heels" Merchant Cats Slippers
Presley Sanders "Red Hands" Mole Sponges Cousins
Diego Sharp Flirty Technology Chili
Abigail Moss Drunken Tigers Dolphins
Candace Jimenez Weakened Squirrels Acorns

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).