The Director Welcomes You

Ventures Royale

#c37bc6

Location

Bright, Foggy Côte d’Ivoire

Time of Day

10:21

Extraction Point

178 Miles SW

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Gross Vampires" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Great Shadow". We need you to eliminate them, Keenly. Their last known location was recorded at 13:08. You have a Clean Battery as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jeremy Harrington

Alias

"Gross Vampires"

Features

6' 2"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Board of Tenacious Scales

Emotions

Frustrated

Personality

Keenly Thorough

Motive

Disrupt the military to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Tony the "Municipal Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Greasy Chateau

Underwater Lagoon

Obliteration Fortress

Random Events

Husband Is frozen into a block of ice

Demon Catches leprosy

Gypsy skins a cat with his teeth

Safe Is being tortured

World

Stores

Jade's Tea Pot Ventures

Page's Faberge Egg Productions

Curry's Grandfather Clock Unlimited

Owen's Bureau Warehouse

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Bear Trap of Rage

Objects

Tea Pot with a False bottom

Grandfather Clock with a False bottom

Secret Faberge Egg

Hidden Lipstick

Cat of Rage

Wand of Wonder

Caster craves moss

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Natalie Page "King Noses" Merchant Cats Sailboats
Reagan Curry "Mad Lungs" Mole Cousins Soccer
Jayce Pearson Human Statue Trucks Lions
Jade Malone Pharmacist Children's Stories Paper
Jonathan Owen Plumber Lamps Trees

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).