The Director Welcomes You

The Bait Pleasure Incident

#b59eec

Location

Calm, Windy Kyrgyzstan

Time of Day

23:30

Extraction Point

175 Miles S

Time to Complete

35 Hours

Agents,
We need your help. Agent Adalynn Ortega has gone missing and we believe "Blue Unicorn" is responsible. They were last seen in Kyrgyzstan at 03:17. The agent sent one final message – "A lone flower growing at the Broken Face". Take this Feminine Lamp - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Arabella Lewis

Alias

"Blue Unicorn"

Features

7' 10"

Red eyes

Large moles / Left leg

Organization

The Community of Comical Vein

Emotions

Eager

Personality

Rarely Drooping

Motive

Disrupt the military out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Mysterious Beast"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Freezing Crypt

Overpopulated Tower

Weakness Shelter

Random Events

Crowd skins a cat with his teeth

Horse Carriage Strikes the church bell

Swarm of Bees Finds gold in the water

Crowd Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Daisy's Vase Bazaar

Gutierrez's Diary Logistics

Hodges's Staircase Productions

Ortega's Skeletal Animal Creative

Traps

Floor Net

Symbol of Hypnosis of Pleasure

Objects

Vase with a False bottom

Staircase with a False bottom

Secret Diary

Hidden Scimitar

Sword of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

Any fires now burning within 10 miles are extinguished

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Victor Gutierrez "Red Kidneys" Merchant Soda Flowers
Lyla Hodges "Junior Bagels" Mole Candy Technology
Richard Griffin Townsfolk Water Batteries
Daisy Phillips Cosmetologist Candy Teeth
Adalynn Ortega Police Officer Honey Children's Stories

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).