The Director Welcomes You

Who is Emily Snake?

#dec256

Location

Wet, Mild Denmark

Time of Day

0:55

Extraction Point

31 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Andrea Espinoza has gone missing and we believe "Italian giant" is responsible. They were last seen in Denmark at 18:06. The agent sent one final message – "A roll of thunder at the giants footsteps". Take this Feminine Ballpoint Pen - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Carson Mendez

Alias

"Italian giant"

Features

7' 9"

Red eyes

A second belly button / Left hand

Organization

The Order of Slatted Balcony

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Politely Chunky

Motive

Make a lot of money fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Emily the "Deafening ghost"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Hot Lagoon

Polluted Lagoon

Fate Tower

Random Events

Potato Bursts loudly

Herd of Chicken chase a suspect

Donkey Adopts a nearby child

Drunk approaches

World

Stores

Jose's Lounge Chair Technologies

Obrien's Footlocker Technologies

Wade's Grandfather Clock Unlimited

Espinoza's Hose Technologies

Traps

Rolling Rock

Large Net of Censorship

Objects

Lounge Chair children's replica

Grandfather Clock with a False bottom

Secret Footlocker

Hidden Rapier

Lance of Censorship

Wand of Wonder

When injured, target is 10% likely to attack his nearest ally

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isabella Obrien "King Ribs" Merchant Flowers Cartography
Peyton Wade "Yellow Churros" Mole Basketball Water
Jacob Owens Operator Doors Children's Stories
Jose Porter Professional Bridesmaid Clocks Cousins
Andrea Espinoza Weakened Physics Notes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).