The Director Welcomes You

Threads Royale

#daa313

Location

Windy, Dry Japan

Time of Day

1:58

Extraction Point

104 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Eyeballs,
It seems "Left Siren" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "A lone flower growing at the Frozen palace". We need you to eliminate them, Politely. Their last known location was recorded at 02:16. You have a Soft Vise as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Harper Morris

Alias

"Left Siren"

Features

4' 4"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left leg

Organization

The Alliance of Future Memory

Emotions

Cautious

Personality

Politely Encrypted

Motive

Disrupt the military out of survival

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Glamorous Siren"

Physical Size

Bantam

Story

Additional Locations

The Red Park

Expensive Forge

Expiration Sanctuary

Random Events

Bag of Lemons Spontaneously disintegrates

Cauldron Is throwing a protest

Goblet Is being detained

Procession explodes

World

Stores

Karter's Drawers Threads

Ramsey's Bible Atelier

Moss's Tapestry Factory

Malone's Cabinet Wardrobe

Traps

Collapsing Column

Collapsing Column of Disaster

Objects

Drawers that has been hollowed out

Tapestry that has been hollowed out

Secret Bible

Hidden Longsword

Coif of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

Target becomes a devoted acolyte of some fringe religion

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Grayson Ramsey "Small Bagels" Merchant Peanut Butter Mirrors
Easton Moss "No Hands" Mole Ice Cubes Flowers
Elias Gilbert Chef Rabbits Lions
Karter Ramirez Actor Technology Dice
Amir Malone The Body Christmas Soccer

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).