The Director Welcomes You

The Babies Imperfection Protocol

#8f81a2

Location

Stormy, Hot Sweden

Time of Day

20:43

Extraction Point

108 Miles NW

Time to Complete

16 Hours

Operatives,
It seems "Heavy Griffin" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "A traveling merchant appears at the Stone Circle". We need you to eliminate them, Jubilantly. Their last known location was recorded at 06:01. You have a Robotic Wrench as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jayden Montgomery

Alias

"Heavy Griffin"

Features

4' 1"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Crew of Tenacious Bird Law

Emotions

Elated

Personality

Jubilantly Cocky

Motive

Disrupt the military fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Hal the "Rapid Dolphin"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Victorian Barn Dance

Archaic Fortress

Secrecy Palace

Random Events

Bard Ignites violently

Buccaneer Calls menacingly

Crying Child Calls menacingly

Bottle of Soy Sauce approaches

World

Stores

Avery's Counter Little shop

Peterson's Wingback chair Worldwide

Brewer's Sofa Brothers

Robinson's Quill and Ink Market

Traps

Burning Hands

Javelin of Imperfection

Objects

Counter that is glowing

Sofa that is glowing

Secret Wingback chair

Hidden Greaves

Sword of Imperfection

Wand of Wonder

Sparks fly from target’s eyes when he draws a weapon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ethan Peterson "Wild Fingers" Merchant Painting Batteries
Harrison Brewer "Right Lemons" Mole Flashlights Sharks
Jordyn Bush Librarian Broccoli Cartography
Avery Robbins Plumber Candles Deodorant
Matteo Robinson Counselor Batteries Trucks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).