The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Moist Nature

#c4f4ce

Location

Dark, Foul Congo, Republic of the

Time of Day

3:56

Extraction Point

177 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Examiners,
I have sent you to within a Polluted Motel to look for a suspect by the name "Small Rabbit". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to find where their funding is coming from. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Ghost Town".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Heavy Can Opener in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Peyton Parsons

Alias

"Small Rabbit"

Features

4' 4"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Neck

Organization

The Brotherhood of Low History

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Clearly Childish

Motive

Take over a country for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Boned Siren"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Moist Fortress

Abandoned Carnival

Rage Suburbs

Random Events

Safe stop the party and asks questions

Amulet Is being kidnapped

Crow Bounces oddly

Chanting Cult arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Tyler's Pedestal Warehouse

Navarro's Taxidermy animal Specialities

Hansen's Pair of Statues Collective

Simon's Trunk Brothers

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Ray of Sickness of Skill

Objects

Pedestal with a False bottom

Pair of Statues made of heavy metal

Secret Taxidermy animal

Hidden Lance

Axe of Skill

Wand of Wonder

The arms of someone nearby turn into wings like those of a duck

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alex Navarro "Four Pastrami's" Merchant Trees Slippers
Eliana Hansen "Short Bagels" Mole Notes Essential Oils
Henry Hoffman Hairdresser Water Jazz
Tyler Chapman Farmer Tea Sticky Notes
Jeremy Simon Barber Trucks Boxes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).