The Director Welcomes You

Disgust, Tricycle, Jellyfish, Spy.

#f07167

Location

Warm, Windless Tajikistan

Time of Day

2:12

Extraction Point

149 Miles NW

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Spy Deputies,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Sconce children's replica. Get to Tajikistan at 01:02

Good Luck.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Morris Ferguson

Alias

"Blue Pig"

Features

5' 8"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The Unit of Steep Jellyfish

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Helplessly Chubby

Motive

Make a lot of money to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Affluent ghost"

Physical Size

Substantial

Story

Additional Locations

The Numerous Carousal

Rundown Forge

Expiration Festival

Random Events

Gallon of Trash Evades the law

Ninja skins a cat with his teeth

Pine Branch approaches

Milk Shipment Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Hailey's Sconce Couture

Owen's Loveseat Properties

McGuire's End Table Threads

Sharp's Footlocker Chic Chåteau

Traps

Poison Needle

Lightning Bolt of Delight

Objects

Sconce children's replica

End Table that has been hollowed out

Secret Loveseat

Hidden Arrows

Knife of Delight

Wand of Wonder

Caster routinely forgets which spells he has memorized

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Matthew Owen "Obese Churros" Merchant Tea Robots
Margaret McGuire "Mad Knuckles" Mole Bells Pillows
Ezra Gross Waiter Rubber Stamps Jigsaw Puzzles
Hailey Weber Railroad Conductor Trees Soda
Emily Sharp Demon Chili Painting

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).