The Director Welcomes You

Security, Upper Management, Penis, Spy.

#cbdcf8

Location

Rainy, Dull Lebanon

Time of Day

5:24

Extraction Point

194 Miles NW

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Emerson Hardy has gone missing and we believe "Fat kobold" is responsible. They were last seen in Lebanon at 14:22. The agent sent one final message – "A pool of blood at the Where grass will not grow". Take this Light Scissor - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

William Moody

Alias

"Fat kobold"

Features

6' 3"

Gray eyes

A second belly button / Left foot

Organization

The Union of Rapid Penis

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Courageously Faithful

Motive

Take over a government to become famous

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Smelly potato"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Depressed Lodge

Hidden Lake

Mania Carousal

Random Events

Gunshot Evades the law

Vagabond Salutes the adventurers

Fairy Is throwing a BBQ

Leopard skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Isaac's Iron stove Market

Dominguez's Certificate Arcade

Jensen's Bell Solutions

Hardy's Telescope Ventures

Traps

Javelin

Poisoned Arrow of Oblivion

Objects

Iron stove that is glowing

Bell that has been hollowed out

Secret Certificate

Hidden Blowgun

Sabre of Oblivion

Wand of Wonder

All weapons within 50 yards are sealed in candle wax

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emily Dominguez "Right Lungs" Merchant Basketball Attention
Tristan Jensen "The Parmigianas" Mole Easter Washing Machines
Gael Baldwin Counselor Batteries Video Games
Isaac Contreras Surgeon Contracts Boxes
Emerson Hardy Ghost Photography Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).