The Director Welcomes You

The Polarbear Downfall Incident

#97a49b

Location

Hot, Gloomy Suriname

Time of Day

3:47

Extraction Point

186 Miles N

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "Meaty Hedgehogs" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "A roll of thunder at the Screaming Waterfall". We need you to eliminate them, Righteously. Their last known location was recorded at 12:23. You have a Evil Condom as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Joel Newton

Alias

"Meaty Hedgehogs"

Features

5' 2"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Right hand

Organization

The Authority of Short Ski Lodge

Emotions

Hurt

Personality

Righteously Damp

Motive

Make a lot of money to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Tim the "Swift Manticore"

Physical Size

Paltry

Story

Additional Locations

The Lazy Lodge

Underground Lake

Well-being Masquerade

Random Events

Wedding Cake Skips merrily

Gallon of Trash Is getting confiscated

Procession overflows

Woman catches on fire

World

Stores

Cameron's Bottle Chic Chåteau

Reese's Figurine Cosmetics

Kelly's Ring Consulting

Ford's Music Box Bazaar

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Water-Filled Room of Downfall

Objects

Bottle that is glowing

Ring that is glowing

Secret Figurine

Hidden Chewing Gum

Shield of Downfall

Wand of Wonder

Any scroll cases within 50 yards are sealed for 1d100 years

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Liam Reese "Small Thumbs" Merchant Butterflies Slippers
Lucia Kelly "Silver Forearms" Mole Lamps Sailboats
Hannah Cole Scientist Video Games Water
Cameron Garner Waiter Batteries Video Games
Rose Ford Architect Cats Boxes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).