The Director Welcomes You

Who is Joseph Death?

#8d2edb

Location

Miserable, Humid Sri Lanka

Time of Day

21:7

Extraction Point

18 Miles NW

Time to Complete

5 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Michelle McCormick has gone missing and we believe "Mini Alien" is responsible. They were last seen in Sri Lanka at 03:24. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Sacrificial Hole". Take this Dull Bonsai Tree - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Antonio Mendez

Alias

"Mini Alien"

Features

4' 3"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Office of Old-Fashioned Soiree

Emotions

Distrusting

Personality

Wetly Rare

Motive

Disrupt the military to become the best

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Melodic Koalas"

Physical Size

Tall

Story

Additional Locations

The Rhythmic Villa

Bustling Spring

Bliss Mansion

Random Events

Storm Is hurled at the adventurers

Storm skins a cat with his teeth

Sewer is loose

Cauldron Glistens gently

World

Stores

Eleanor's Kitchen table Group

Hudson's Cabinet Collective

Torres's Oil Lamp Department store

McCormick's Workbench Warehouse

Traps

Acid Fog

Suspicious door with lock of Fury

Objects

Kitchen table that has been hollowed out

Oil Lamp made of heavy metal

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Blindfold

Bow of Fury

Wand of Wonder

Every spell cast nearby in the next 1d6 rounds strikes the target

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ryan Hudson "Blue Thumbs" Merchant Dice Sun Glasses
Grant Torres "Italian Falafels" Mole Easter Washing Machines
Arabella Mason Funeral Director Physics Honey
Eleanor Howell Townsfolk Gym Memberships Soap
Michelle McCormick Banker Peanut Butter Dinosaurs

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).