The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Loquacious Mouth

#6f242e

Location

Warm, Rainy Panama

Time of Day

17:35

Extraction Point

20 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "Three Pig" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "A thick fog rolls in at the giants footsteps". We need you to eliminate them, Helplessly. Their last known location was recorded at 19:19. You have a Fluffy Lighter as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Joshua Schroeder

Alias

"Three Pig"

Features

4' 2"

Gray eyes

Large deep scar / Left hand

Organization

The Board of Tertiary Circus

Emotions

Disgraced

Personality

Helplessly Damaged

Motive

Take over a country out of desperation

Bodyguard

Tim the "Vast Zombie"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Loquacious Masquerade

Polluted Peninsula

Reservation Acropolis

Random Events

Thief Spontaneously disintegrates

Donkey Protests

Bottle of Soy Sauce Ignites violently

Spectator arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Malachi's Credenza Industries

Quinn's Notebook Mall

White's Sofa Emporium

Lewis's Landscape Couture

Traps

Burning Hands

Flame Strike of Fragility

Objects

Credenza that has been hollowed out

Sofa that is glowing

Secret Notebook

Hidden Lighter

Sling of Fragility

Wand of Wonder

Creatures Summoned in target’s presence are abominations

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Andrew Quinn "Big Livers" Merchant Syrup Plushies
Rachel White "Short Ribs" Mole Coffee Scarves
London Sherman Operator Drinking Tea
Malachi Richardson Spirit Syrup Singing
Ariana Lewis Depressed Cooking Chocolate

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).