The Director Welcomes You

Lawyer, Software, Machine, Spy.

#1a9303

Location

Wet, Gorgeous Poland

Time of Day

6:10

Extraction Point

64 Miles W

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
It seems "Right Unicorn" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "A pool of blood at the Fallen King". We need you to eliminate them, Vivaciously. Their last known location was recorded at 15:12. You have a Glowing Lighter as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aiden Fields

Alias

"Right Unicorn"

Features

5' 10"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Crotch

Organization

The Community of Plain Machine

Emotions

Trusting

Personality

Vivaciously Mammoth

Motive

Disrupt the military because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Philip the "Wooden Hyena"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Tender Circus

Expensive Fortress

Destiny Lagoon

Random Events

Chauvinist Is throwing a BBQ

Alligator screams at the top of their lungs

Butter Shipment explodes

Bard Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Joseph's Bookcase Specialities

Dean's Taxidermy animal Beauty Stop

Hill's Stamp Set Consulting

Jones's Brass Replica Wardrobe

Traps

Falling Block

Fireball of Euthanasia

Objects

Bookcase children's replica

Stamp Set children's replica

Secret Taxidermy animal

Hidden Coin

Hatchet of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

Caster can’t open any door while anyone is watching

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jordan Dean "All Falafels" Merchant Lions Candy
Arabella Hill "Two Arms" Mole Squirrels Attention
Miguel Stevenson Angry Dice Basketball
Joseph Schroeder Dog surfing instructor Writers Bells
Genesis Jones Ghost Candles Trees

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).