The Director Welcomes You

The Calamitous Parking Lot Chase

#cba603

Location

Gorgeous, Bright Solomon Islands

Time of Day

10:4

Extraction Point

177 Miles E

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to circle a Deserted Missile Launch Site to look for a suspect by the name "Orange Normal Guy". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Snowy garrison".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Feminine Belt in your kit to help.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Gabriel Wallace

Alias

"Orange Normal Guy"

Features

6' 10"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Left eye

Organization

The Alliance of Yellow Necklace

Emotions

Brave

Personality

Absentmindedly Raspy

Motive

Take over a country out of survival

Bodyguard

Sam the "Thoughtless Griffin"

Physical Size

Minute

Story

Additional Locations

The Calamitous Creek

Crowded Spring

Redemption Pond

Random Events

Renaissance Faire Gets their hand chopped off

Skeleton arrives in the mail

Box of Mice Is getting confiscated

Chauvinist Becomes wounded

World

Stores

Jace's Ring Group

Riley's Loveseat Cosmetics

Walker's Shoe Horn Arcade

Day's Mantle Mall

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Ice lock of Mania

Objects

Ring that is glowing

Shoe Horn children's replica

Secret Loveseat

Hidden Blades

Sickle of Mania

Wand of Wonder

Target’s face begins to look more and more bat-like

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Luis Riley "Right Lungs" Merchant Slippers Candy
Charles Walker "Short Boy" Mole Drinking Peanut Butter
Riley Murray Waiter Rabbits Doors
Jace Murray Farmer Sharp Things Fire
Elise Day Architect Flashlights Slippers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).