The Director Welcomes You

The Quarter Joy Incident

#405138

Location

Windy, Calm Vatican City

Time of Day

20:22

Extraction Point

94 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "Bullet Mermaid" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the hive". We need you to eliminate them, Accidentally. Their last known location was recorded at 21:16. You have a Slippery Bandana as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ryleigh Contreras

Alias

"Bullet Mermaid"

Features

4' 6"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Left foot

Organization

The Firm of Risible Girls

Emotions

Disgraced

Personality

Accidentally Tiring

Motive

Take over a government for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Broken Rabbit"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Full Chateau

Crowded Citadel

Fury Peninsula

Random Events

Potato is heard screaming

Squirrel Bounces oddly

Crow Is throwing a BBQ

Corncob Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Kayden's Spare brick Bazaar

Beck's Kitchen table Group

Sullivan's Butter Churner Collective

Pratt's Kitchen knife Worldwide

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Portcullis of Joy

Objects

Spare brick that is glowing

Butter Churner that has been hollowed out

Secret Kitchen table

Hidden Goblet

Axe of Joy

Wand of Wonder

Caster turns bright blue while he’s bleeding

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Leo Beck "Tough Tongues" Merchant Painting Doors
Josiah Sullivan "Big Livers" Mole Trees Ice Cubes
Mia Duncan Townsfolk Flashlights Books
Kayden Alexander Indifferent Hamsters Technology
Annabelle Pratt Exhilarated Stickers Painting

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).