The Director Welcomes You

The Tourbus Fire Protocol

#ff4812

Location

Mild, Sunny Canada

Time of Day

0:59

Extraction Point

144 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside the inside of a Bustling Mansion . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Big Nymph" is responsible and they sent us this message - "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the old bridge". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Slippery Flute hidden on you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Henry Henry

Alias

"Big Nymph"

Features

5' 4"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Firm of Sadistic Magician

Emotions

Isolated

Personality

Promptly Stoned

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Terry the "Revolting mammoth"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Hot Lake

Archaic Lodge

Silence Pond

Random Events

Diary overflows

Spectator Balances on a ledge

Bum is being loudly arrested

Whore is robbed

World

Stores

Alexandra's Trunk Convenience store

Webster's Candle Boutique

Luna's Sconce Consulting

Gutierrez's Mounted Animal Arcade

Traps

Box of Brown Mold

Fusillade of Darts of Fire

Objects

Trunk that has been hollowed out

Sconce children's replica

Secret Candle

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Shoe of Fire

Wand of Wonder

All undead within one mile can exhale clouds of fog at will

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Richard Webster "White Arms" Merchant Sun Glasses Paperclips
Eva Luna "Golden Lemons" Mole Flashlights Honey
Iris Palmer Pharmacist Horses Jigsaw Puzzles
Alexandra Simon Architect Drinking Drinking
Valerie Gutierrez Actor Lipstick Fire

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).