The Director Welcomes You

The Ice Irritation Incident

#cc1147

Location

Cool, Foggy Georgia

Time of Day

24:10

Extraction Point

71 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Small Alien" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "The earth shakes briefly at the Beast's Maze". We need you to eliminate them, Dimly. Their last known location was recorded at 07:02. You have a Fluffy Watch as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Karter Gutierrez

Alias

"Small Alien"

Features

7' 9"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Right leg

Organization

The Bunch of Strong War

Emotions

Cheerful

Personality

Dimly Noxious

Motive

Disrupt the military to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Simon the "Itchy Sphinx"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Gifted Business

Abandoned Villa

Bitterness Masquerade

Random Events

Gypsy Is being tortured

Hoard Integrates silently into the group

Swarm of Bees scurries by

Bag of Flour Is under a curse

World

Stores

Kaylee's Butter Churner Labs

Bowman's Bookcase Specialities

Casey's Clamp Discount

Zimmerman's Cabinet Specialities

Traps

Reverse Gravity

Ray of Sickness of Irritation

Objects

Butter Churner made of heavy metal

Clamp children's replica

Secret Bookcase

Hidden Guthook

Button of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are holding tiny stone carvings of themselves

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Maxwell Bowman "Little Hot Dogs" Merchant Attention Chili
Nicholas Casey "Fast Hearts" Mole Dolphins Books
Autumn Morris Cranky Horses Syrup
Kaylee Moreno Restless Contracts Acorns
Cecilia Zimmerman Geologist Books Christmas

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).