The Director Welcomes You

The Greenhouse Animosity Incident

#1de0d9

Location

Cool, Calm Madagascar

Time of Day

16:40

Extraction Point

176 Miles W

Time to Complete

17 Hours

Agents,
We need your help. Agent Willow Dominguez has gone missing and we believe "Tough Hobgoblin" is responsible. They were last seen in Madagascar at 17:02. The agent sent one final message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the hive". Take this Robotic Condom - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alexis Jones

Alias

"Tough Hobgoblin"

Features

6' 8"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Guild of Cooling Tape

Emotions

Confident

Personality

Clearly Sovereign

Motive

Make a lot of money to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Emily the "Thundering Leprechaun"

Physical Size

Mini

Story

Additional Locations

The Late Manor

Rundown Chateau

Delight Castle

Random Events

Whore Is getting confiscated

Procession Is hurled at the adventurers

Goblet Is hurled at the adventurers

Pickpocket is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Kaiden's Pair of Statues Department store

Ellis's Statue Boutique

Schwartz's Tea Set Ventures

Dominguez's Oil Lamp Department store

Traps

Ice lock

Tripping Chain of Animosity

Objects

Pair of Statues with a False bottom

Tea Set children's replica

Secret Statue

Hidden Rapier

Credit Card of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

All spells cast in the next 2d6 rounds are invisible in effect

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Oscar Ellis "Small Forearms" Merchant Flowers Bears
Elizabeth Schwartz "Black Parmigianas" Mole Soda Lions
Miles Ramos Phantom Peanut Butter Video Games
Kaiden Watson Professional Cuddler Jazz Pillows
Willow Dominguez Funeral Director Honey Dolphins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).