The Director Welcomes You

Method, Honey, Cast Iron Pan, Spy.

#e6667f

Location

Dull, Mild Belarus

Time of Day

21:6

Extraction Point

82 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Ambassadors,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Hatrack children's replica. Get to Belarus at 02:10

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jasmine Watkins

Alias

"The Beholder"

Features

7' 3"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Right arm

Organization

The Bureau of Sturdy Cast Iron Pan

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Cleverly Red

Motive

Take over a country to become famous

Bodyguard

James the "Dusty Succubus"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Dusty Lagoon

Polluted Reef

Euthanasia Lodge

Random Events

Chauvinist Is throwing a protest

Dancer approaches

Softball drops from the sky

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Aubree's Hatrack Threads

Erickson's Potted Plant Wardrobe

Chan's Sculpture Boutique

French's Oil Lamp Group

Traps

Blade Barrier

Beehive of Redemption

Objects

Hatrack children's replica

Sculpture children's replica

Secret Potted Plant

Hidden Camera

Trident of Redemption

Wand of Wonder

Target is driven halfway through the nearest tree

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Christian Erickson "Gross Heels" Merchant Paper Soccer
Eliana Chan "Big Toes" Mole Essential Oils Children's Stories
Camden Walsh The Body Broccoli Toilets
Aubree Vasquez Professional Cuddler Balloons Candles
Beau French Talent agent Paper Pillows

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).