The Director Welcomes You

The Mechanically Full Agent

#c0c299

Location

Foul, Rainy Georgia

Time of Day

17:20

Extraction Point

133 Miles E

Time to Complete

34 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Hayden Schroeder has gone missing and we believe "Short Mermaid" is responsible. They were last seen in Georgia at 12:07. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Eye of Heaven". Take this Glowing Candle - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Avery Tyler

Alias

"Short Mermaid"

Features

4' 2"

Heterochromia eyes

Large deep scar / Crotch

Organization

The Committee of Portly Crown

Emotions

Sympathy

Personality

Mechanically Wide

Motive

Take over a country justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Nick the "Crooked Banshee"

Physical Size

Towering

Story

Additional Locations

The Full Forge

Archaic Barn Dance

Reservation Palace

Random Events

Bag of Lemons Skips merrily

Bag of Flour Balances on a ledge

Reindeer Is frozen into a block of ice

Safe Finds gold in the water

World

Stores

Arianna's Tapestry Industries

Morales's Statue Logistics

Collins's Hat Technologies

Schroeder's Glass Jars Bazaar

Traps

Poison Dart

Incendiary Cloud of Downfall

Objects

Tapestry that has been hollowed out

Hat that has been hollowed out

Secret Statue

Hidden Coin

Watch of Downfall

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he’s on the verge of exterminating his race

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Steven Morales "Fat Ankles" Merchant Dinosaurs Bells
Fiona Collins "Black Pretzels" Mole Chili Eggs
Tucker Chapman Veterinarian Lions Rubber Bands
Arianna Reese Railroad Conductor Bread Syrup
Hayden Schroeder Old Man Paper Video Games

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).