The Director Welcomes You

Discount Royale

#65bb17

Location

Icy, Foggy Vanuatu

Time of Day

3:45

Extraction Point

162 Miles NE

Time to Complete

5 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Ruby Diaz has gone missing and we believe "Silver Elves" is responsible. They were last seen in Vanuatu at 23:02. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dead fish at the Unicorn Nest". Take this Light Socks - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Peyton Stewart

Alias

"Silver Elves"

Features

7' 2"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Commission of Immense Spa

Emotions

Aroused

Personality

Sharply Jocular

Motive

Take over a country to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Fluffy Beholder"

Physical Size

Narrow

Story

Additional Locations

The Fugly Palace

Overpopulated House

Prosperity Pond

Random Events

Drunk Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Dozen Eggs stop the party and asks questions

Alligator Catches leprosy

Whore chase a suspect

World

Stores

Chloe's Flowers Growing Discount

Montgomery's Trophy Hole

Richardson's Spare brick Couture

Diaz's Footlocker Arcade

Traps

Incendiary Cloud

Camouflaged Pit of Competency

Objects

Flowers Growing that is glowing

Spare brick children's replica

Secret Trophy

Hidden Chewing Gum

Bottle of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Target must Save or his temperature rises 1° per round

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brooklyn Montgomery "Orange Ribs" Merchant Television Writers
Weston Richardson "Golden Feet" Mole Lions Chocolate
Caleb Reese Dog surfing instructor Chickens Boxes
Chloe Guzman Butcher Soccer Broccoli
Ruby Diaz Psychiatrist Tissues Lions

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).