The Director Welcomes You

The People Delirium Incident

#29729a

Location

Cool, Foul Ethiopia

Time of Day

9:38

Extraction Point

106 Miles SE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Ambassadors,
It seems "Right Kaiju" has gone level 4. They have been broadcasting this message "An out of place door appears at the Snowy garrison". We need you to eliminate them, Majestically. Their last known location was recorded at 04:15. You have a Clandestine Condom as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Zion Ward

Alias

"Right Kaiju"

Features

5' 11"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Board of Agreeable Ring

Emotions

Annoyed

Personality

Majestically Spicy

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Rainy Ogre"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Incalculable Barn Dance

Archaic Villa

Perspiration Shelter

Random Events

Donkey Calls menacingly

Swarm of Bees Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Water Vessel meets disaster

Bag of Flour Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Dawson's Ring Mall

Baldwin's Easel Brothers

Daniel's Hat Little shop

Mason's Letter Opener Beauty Stop

Traps

Ceiling Pendulum

Black Tentacles of Delirium

Objects

Ring made of heavy metal

Hat that is glowing

Secret Easel

Hidden Blowgun

Bracelet of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Caster is wearing bunny fur

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mackenzie Baldwin "Short Cappuccinos" Merchant Limes Rubber Stamps
Michelle Daniel "Cheap Churros" Mole Trees Oranges
Reagan Doyle Human Statue Washing Machines Glass
Dawson Barber Veteran Tigers Contracts
Laila Mason Scientist Tissues Tigers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).