The Director Welcomes You

Apparatus, Zephyr, Advertisement, Spy.

#ddf5b8

Location

Windless, Dark India

Time of Day

13:6

Extraction Point

160 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "No Owlman" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Frozen palace". We need you to eliminate them, Merrily. Their last known location was recorded at 18:18. You have a Explosive Sun Lotion as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Aria Daniel

Alias

"No Owlman"

Features

4' 9"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Right hand

Organization

The Department of Young Advertisement

Emotions

Uncomfortable

Personality

Merrily Uninterested

Motive

Take over a government to control the Children

Bodyguard

Daniel the "Thorough Fairy"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Screeching Crypt

Touristy Spring

Ruin Isle

Random Events

Corncob Integrates silently into the group

Spice Box is loose

Gang Bounces oddly

Spectator Glistens gently

World

Stores

Julianna's Counter Specialities

Nguyen's Pocket watch Unlimited

Sanchez's Cutting board Collective

Lane's Pipe Threads

Traps

Portcullis

Javelin of Weakness

Objects

Counter that has been hollowed out

Cutting board that is glowing

Secret Pocket watch

Hidden Guthook

Chastity Belt of Weakness

Wand of Wonder

Someone nearby leaves footprints that smolder harmlessly

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
August Nguyen "Slow Bones" Merchant Hammers Photography
Avery Sanchez "All Lungs" Mole Balloons Television
Joseph Watson Old Timer Dolphins Balloons
Julianna Estrada Physician Boxes Glitter
Bella Lane Librarian Hamsters Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).