The Director Welcomes You

The Egregious Cake Situation

#fbeef3

Location

Icy, Frigid Laos

Time of Day

12:43

Extraction Point

6 Miles SE

Time to Complete

6 Hours

Scrutinizers,
It seems "Violet Dragon" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a random cow at the Great Shadow". We need you to eliminate them, Queasily. Their last known location was recorded at 24:24. You have a Delicate Socks as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Adalyn Arnold

Alias

"Violet Dragon"

Features

7' 1"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Left foot

Organization

The Alliance of Evasive Tricycle

Emotions

Irritated

Personality

Queasily Agreeable

Motive

Disrupt the military to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Emily the "Annoying Hyena"

Physical Size

Elder

Story

Additional Locations

The Egregious Fortress

Crowded Circus

Cheer Sanctuary

Random Events

Bellhop Balances on a ledge

Thief strikes the ground

Procession Spontaneously disintegrates

Druid Protests

World

Stores

Mckenzie's Drawers Logistics

Kim's Pedestal Emporium

Martin's Satchel Warehouse

Glover's Pan Productions

Traps

Crushing Room

Box of Brown Mold of Obliteration

Objects

Drawers made of heavy metal

Satchel children's replica

Secret Pedestal

Hidden Morning Star

Handcuffs of Obliteration

Wand of Wonder

Target reacts violently to anyone who asks his name

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Abel Kim "Fast Heels" Merchant Plushies Tea
Finley Martin "Bullet Waffles" Mole Candy Rubber Stamps
Sawyer Steele Fortune Cookie Writer Bells Comic Books
Mckenzie Jacobs Dead Tired Chocolate Squirrels
Allison Glover Shadow Candles Death

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).