The Director Welcomes You

Du jour Royale

#c1f326

Location

Mild, Warm Kyrgyzstan

Time of Day

20:51

Extraction Point

58 Miles S

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Examiners,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Hidden Private Jet plane . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Little Chimera" is responsible and they sent us this message - "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the witch's mound". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Heavy Ladder hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Delilah Malone

Alias

"Little Chimera"

Features

6' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Unit of Shapely Fried Chicken

Emotions

Bitter

Personality

Inwardly Great

Motive

Take over a country to save humanity

Bodyguard

Mitch the "Surrogate Eel"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Heavy Castle

Overpopulated Chateau

Obliteration Creek

Random Events

German Trench Club Is being detained

Milk Shipment Is accused by the law

Pack of Wild Dogs screams at the top of their lungs

Deadbeat Is being detained

World

Stores

Matteo's Painting Du jour

Espinoza's Spare brick Little shop

Flynn's Cutting board Outlet

Neal's Diary Technologies

Traps

Burning Hands

Flooding Room of Animosity

Objects

Painting children's replica

Cutting board with a False bottom

Secret Spare brick

Hidden Falchion

Lipstick of Animosity

Wand of Wonder

Target races away in a random direction and can’t stop until dawn

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Genesis Espinoza "Golden Cheesecakes" Merchant Comic Books Attention
Scarlett Flynn "Violet Hands" Mole Robots Squirrels
Elliott Newman Graphic Designer Jigsaw Puzzles Deodorant
Matteo Craig Stressed Plushies Dinosaurs
Sadie Neal Angry Boxes Christmas

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).