The Director Welcomes You

The Sympathetically Ancient Agent

#a99e14

Location

Foul, Calm Côte d’Ivoire

Time of Day

17:6

Extraction Point

175 Miles SE

Time to Complete

26 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Underground Barn Dance . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Blue Cyclops" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the Wizard's Scar". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Evil Spoon hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayden Parker

Alias

"Blue Cyclops"

Features

6' 5"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Left hand

Organization

The Sorority of Childish Gold

Emotions

Fondness

Personality

Sympathetically Fancy

Motive

Take over a country to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Larry the "Tasteless Merfolk"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Ancient Creek

Polluted Reef

Fire Arcade

Random Events

Carcass catches on fire

Nearby Gas Tank strikes the ground

Chunk of Beef Is throwing a BBQ

Amulet emerges

World

Stores

Vincent's Faberge Egg Technologies

Le's Fire poker set International

Hughes's Platter Outlet

Cannon's End Table Convenience store

Traps

Fireball

Javelin of Instability

Objects

Faberge Egg children's replica

Platter children's replica

Secret Fire poker set

Hidden Chewing Gum

Newspaper of Instability

Wand of Wonder

Next door opened by caster leads to the basement of a brothel

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Gabriella Le "Quiet Knuckles" Merchant Soda Death
Angelina Hughes "Quiet Brains" Mole Money Stickers
Fiona Powers Cranky Plushies Rubber Stamps
Vincent Beck Dog surfing instructor Soap Clocks
Bentley Cannon Musician Acorns Ice Cubes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).