The Director Welcomes You

The Seldom Loquacious Agent

#66a566

Location

Foggy, Hot Chad

Time of Day

24:14

Extraction Point

21 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Snoopers,
As you can see you are trapped inside fly above a Archaic Grove . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Yellow Giraffe" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Apple Orchard". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Evil Bicycle hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Connor Hines

Alias

"Yellow Giraffe"

Features

7' 9"

Green eyes

A second belly button / Left hand

Organization

The Sorority of Greasy Seed

Emotions

Pleased

Personality

Seldom Dry

Motive

Take over a country for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Larry the "Empty kobold"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Loquacious Peninsula

Archaic Lake

Ice Festival

Random Events

Renaissance Faire Balances on a ledge

Panhandler is being loudly arrested

Squirrel Integrates silently into the group

Vagabond drops from the sky

World

Stores

Timothy's Coat Bazaar

Bradley's Key Properties

Little's Sconce Specialities

Spencer's Glass Jars Bureau

Traps

Large Net

Object Smeared with Poison of Doom

Objects

Coat made of heavy metal

Sconce made of heavy metal

Secret Key

Hidden Sword

Shield of Doom

Wand of Wonder

Caster disgorges an elephant’s femur

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Daisy Bradley "Dull Churros" Merchant Harmonica Contracts
Presley Little "Yellow Legs" Mole Octopus Chili
Valerie Walton Blacksmith Flowers Tea
Timothy Jordan Talent agent Whipped Cream Pillows
Morgan Spencer Accountant Glitter Basketball

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).