The Director Welcomes You

Group Royale

#fab743

Location

Dry, Sunny Sudan, South

Time of Day

21:9

Extraction Point

150 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Obese Basilisk" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the dancing-trees". We need you to eliminate them, Intensely. Their last known location was recorded at 06:08. You have a Polished Scissor as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Daniel Lowe

Alias

"Obese Basilisk"

Features

7' 3"

Red eyes

Small mole / Left eye

Organization

The Gang of Slimey Flavor

Emotions

Enthusiastic

Personality

Intensely Uninterested

Motive

Make a lot of money in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Carl the "Weak Cat"

Physical Size

Adult

Story

Additional Locations

The Depressed Reef

Compact Suburbs

Contentment Masquerade

Random Events

Biscuit arrives in the mail

Sewer skins a cat with his teeth

Softball strikes the ground

Dead Animal grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Gracie's Stool Group

Campbell's Shirt Bazaar

Martinez's Desk Worldwide

Casey's Creeping Vines Consulting

Traps

Bestow Curse

Chain Lightning of Peace

Objects

Stool children's replica

Desk children's replica

Secret Shirt

Hidden Key

Targe of Peace

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters a lake, it drains dry in 1d4 rounds

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aaron Campbell "Slow Bones" Merchant Shirts Eggs
Ivan Martinez "Five Forearms" Mole Dolphins Dolphins
Noah Peterson Fortune Cookie Writer Death Comic Books
Gracie Jones Exhausted Doves Boxes
Alice Casey Frazzled Rabbits Lamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).