The Director Welcomes You

The Truck Happiness Protocol

#7660c0

Location

Windless, Balmy Jordan

Time of Day

10:39

Extraction Point

51 Miles SW

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Aaliyah Alexander has gone missing and we believe "Junior Elephants" is responsible. They were last seen in Jordan at 13:12. The agent sent one final message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Crossroads". Take this Mechanical Purse - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Laila Morgan

Alias

"Junior Elephants"

Features

4' 1"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Crotch

Organization

The Guild of Moist Player

Emotions

Horrified

Personality

Arrogantly Crooked

Motive

Take over a country to please their master

Bodyguard

Jack the "Stoned Alien"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Icy Peninsula

Compact Acropolis

Redemption Isle

Random Events

Transport Is being detained

Leopard Glistens gently

Thief meets disaster

Fairy Is accused by the law

World

Stores

Hailey's Bible Industries

Gregory's Ring Closet

Ray's Cabinet Productions

Alexander's Hanging Birdcage Supermarket

Traps

Swinging Block

Reverse Gravity of Happiness

Objects

Bible that is glowing

Cabinet children's replica

Secret Ring

Hidden Greaves

Bracer of Happiness

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he’s the embodiment of a mighty artifact

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Rylee Gregory "Heavy Cappuccinos" Merchant Notes Water
Carson Ray "Dull Matzo Balls" Mole Clocks Easter
Austin Campbell Judge Soap Painting
Hailey Curtis Operator Painting Chili
Aaliyah Alexander Soul Rock n' Roll Tigers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).