The Director Welcomes You

The Girthy Arithmetic Probe

#76ae7d

Location

Gloomy, Windy Central African Republic

Time of Day

9:36

Extraction Point

74 Miles NW

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Detectives,
It seems "Indigo Leprechaun" has gone level 9. They have been broadcasting this message "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the Eye of Heaven". We need you to eliminate them, Greatly. Their last known location was recorded at 02:22. You have a Evil Candle as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Connor Christensen

Alias

"Indigo Leprechaun"

Features

7' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Large deep scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Council of Deafening Neck

Emotions

Envious

Personality

Greatly Dusty

Motive

Take over a country to control the Children

Bodyguard

Tim the "Swift Gargoyle"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Girthy Port

Deserted Sanctuary

Instability Spring

Random Events

Chanting Cult overflows

Crowd Is throwing a protest

Gallon of Trash is heard screaming

Soup Is under a curse

World

Stores

Gabriella's Bureau Emporium

Flynn's Credenza Convenience store

Gross's Watch Du jour

Stewart's Basket Specialities

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Rolling Rock of Euphoria

Objects

Bureau that is glowing

Watch that is glowing

Secret Credenza

Hidden Button

Greaves of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters his home, his clothes turn to stone

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Anthony Flynn "Two Lox" Merchant Chili Paperclips
John Gross "Stiff Arms" Mole Christmas Notes
Kaleb Sanchez Bounty hunter Sticks Fire
Gabriella Walsh Electrician Rubber Stamps Socks
Jameson Stewart Engineer Photography Football

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).