The Director Welcomes You

Productions Royale

#92a70d

Location

Chilly, Windy Liberia

Time of Day

21:19

Extraction Point

200 Miles S

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Snoopers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Kitchen knife made of heavy metal. Get to Liberia at 04:21

Good Luck.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Calvin Gonzales

Alias

"Left Yeti"

Features

7' 3"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Left eye

Organization

The Bunch of Zealous Week

Emotions

Sympathy

Personality

Adventurously Comical

Motive

Make a lot of money to become famous

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Defeated ghost"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Cuddly Villa

Ancient Reef

Fury Lodge

Random Events

Hoard Salutes the adventurers

Rustler skins a cat with his teeth

Drunk Bounces oddly

Keg skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Miles's Kitchen knife Productions

Thornton's Statuette Technologies

Olson's Plaster Bust Warehouse

Bradley's Sofa Little shop

Traps

Burning Hands

Phantasmal Killer of Cleanliness

Objects

Kitchen knife made of heavy metal

Plaster Bust with a False bottom

Secret Statuette

Hidden Shoe

Pike of Cleanliness

Wand of Wonder

Caster is stricken mute until he’s cut by a magic weapon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lucas Thornton "Gross Falafels" Merchant Teeth Sharks
Juan Olson "Little Parmigianas" Mole Hamsters Cartography
Arianna Hawkins Waiter Potatoes Water
Miles Lyons Engineer Sharks Dinosaurs
Hudson Bradley Sad Broccoli Syrup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).