The Director Welcomes You
Operation — Tart Dad
#5f7f04
Investigators, We need your help. Agent Parker Salazar has gone missing and we believe "Cramped Elephants" is responsible. They were last seen in The Bahamas at 07:07. The agent sent one final message – "A lone flower growing at the Flooded Crystal". Take this Delicate Lipstick - it was their favorite tool and might help you.
— The iPod you were holding self destructs.
Londyn Matthews
"Cramped Elephants"
6' 2"
Brown eyes
Small mole / Left eye
The Association of Few The Pope
Restless
Faithfully Meaty
Take over a country out of jealousy
Tim the "Pugilistic Pig"
Soaring
The Tart Arcade
Desolate Pond
Fate Forge
Corncob Is hurled at the adventurers
Bag of Lemons Bounces oddly
Safe drops from the sky
Water Vessel Glistens gently
Elias's Cabinet Chic Chåteau
Maxwell's Suit of armor Couture
Garcia's Music Box Collective
Salazar's Certificate International
Extended Bane
Flooded Corridor of Demise
Cabinet that has been hollowed out
Music Box with a False bottom
Secret Suit of armor
Hidden Banana
Coif of Demise
Tomorrow, caster wakes convinced that he must return to his home
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Naomi Maxwell | "No Cheesecakes" | Merchant | Cookies | Boxes |
| Maria Garcia | "Tough Churros" | Mole | Technology | Balloons |
| Valentina McCoy | Engineer | Cellphones | Lions | |
| Elias Hodges | Angry | Houses | Limes | |
| Parker Salazar | Banker | Ice Cubes | Photography |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).