The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Magnificent Apparatus

#bd0825

Location

Balmy, Stormy Fiji

Time of Day

4:7

Extraction Point

161 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Scrutinizers,
I have sent you to the bottom of a Ancient Masquerade to look for a suspect by the name "Left Seal". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A shrine is nearby at the Golden Fire".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Feminine Boot in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Elias Bowen

Alias

"Left Seal"

Features

4' 6"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Left hand

Organization

The Committee of Juicy Hate

Emotions

Restless

Personality

Devotedly Encrusted

Motive

Make a lot of money because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Johnny the "Tender Sprite"

Physical Size

Small-scale

Story

Additional Locations

The Magnificent Lodge

Archaic Suburbs

Bliss Chateau

Random Events

Gunshot Evades the law

Amulet catches on fire

Corncob Gets their hand chopped off

Nomad is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Nicole's Toolbox Mall

Burton's Certificate Worldwide

Andrews's Letter Opener Supermarket

Valdez's Coat Solutions

Traps

Crushing Room

Reverse Gravity of Prosperity

Objects

Toolbox made of heavy metal

Letter Opener that is glowing

Secret Certificate

Hidden Sling

Guthook of Prosperity

Wand of Wonder

Caster is intensely curious about the limits of his own mortality

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Faith Burton "Four Parmigianas" Merchant Fire Dinosaurs
Nevaeh Andrews "Cheap Hands" Mole Cartography Peanut Butter
Jayce Rivera Frustrated Doors Clocks
Nicole Chandler Depressed Rubber Bands Bracelets
Harrison Valdez Geologist Drinking Sticks

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).