The Director Welcomes You

Convenience store Royale

#ef2cc1

Location

Windless, Humid Barbados

Time of Day

22:18

Extraction Point

183 Miles E

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to within earshot of a Desolate Peninsula to look for a suspect by the name "Right Minotaur". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a random cow at the Rainbow Mountain".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Angry Apron in your kit to help.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Cole Reid

Alias

"Right Minotaur"

Features

6' 9"

Green eyes

Faint curved scar / Left leg

Organization

The Guild of Melted Substance

Emotions

Concern

Personality

Wonderfully Fit

Motive

Make a lot of money because they straight up craycray

Bodyguard

Simon the "Edgy Beholder"

Physical Size

Enormous

Story

Additional Locations

The Thousands Maze

Pitch Black Pond

Ruin Circus

Random Events

Deadbeat is heard screaming

Storm Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Softball skins a cat with his teeth

Whore Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Brody's Key Convenience store

Miles's Kitchen knife Closet

Wood's Coat Logistics

Robinson's Cutting board Chic Chåteau

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Crushing Room of Happiness

Objects

Key that is glowing

Coat children's replica

Secret Kitchen knife

Hidden Key

Ring of Happiness

Wand of Wonder

Target has innumerable feathers stuck to his skin

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Oscar Miles "Sharp Feet" Merchant Peanut Butter Cartography
Nova Wood "Three Boy" Mole Squirrels Squirrels
Rose Carlson Hairdresser Rubber Stamps Rubber Bands
Brody Newman Graphic Designer Acorns Harmonica
Chase Robinson Secretary Deodorant Slippers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).