The Director Welcomes You

Belief, Crib, Thanks, Spy.

#c38a6d

Location

Arid, Gorgeous Mauritania

Time of Day

5:38

Extraction Point

44 Miles W

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Agents,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Rundown Reef . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Orange kobold" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Stone Circle". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Glowing Bread hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Roman Castillo

Alias

"Orange kobold"

Features

5' 2"

Brown eyes

Small mole / Right hand

Organization

The Task Force of Annoying Thanks

Emotions

Pity

Personality

Slowly Prickly

Motive

Take over a government out of survival

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Fierce Roc"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Noxious Grove

Abandoned Carousal

Perspiration Acropolis

Random Events

Milk Shipment Crashes slowly

VAT of Broth Glistens gently

Diary Is being kidnapped

Drunk is loose

World

Stores

Paige's Lipstick Mall

Vaughn's Shoe Horn Bazaar

Lawrence's Tea Set Industries

Price's Ring Atelier

Traps

Symbol of Hypnosis

Falling Block of Extinction

Objects

Lipstick made of heavy metal

Tea Set children's replica

Secret Shoe Horn

Hidden Guthook

Targe of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Target’s head is covered with numerous disc-shaped scars

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nevaeh Vaughn "No Hearts" Merchant Snowglobes Broccoli
Aaron Lawrence "Left Pinky's" Mole Technology Ice Cubes
Ryker Brown Police Officer Pillows Flowers
Paige Owen Lawyer Coffee Sticky Notes
Silas Price Physician Flashlights Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).