The Director Welcomes You

The Scales Good Spirits Incident

#9cd918

Location

Sunny, Mild Panama

Time of Day

0:44

Extraction Point

178 Miles N

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
We need your help. Agent Austin Simpson has gone missing and we believe "One Kangaroos" is responsible. They were last seen in Panama at 24:23. The agent sent one final message – "A thick fog rolls in at the Snowy garrison". Take this Dull Pair of Gloves - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Carlos Horton

Alias

"One Kangaroos"

Features

7' 9"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right arm

Organization

The Incorporated of Plump Paper Bag

Emotions

Embarrassed

Personality

Justly Disgusting

Motive

Take over a country for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Tony the "Crooked Nymph"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Uneven Acropolis

Crowded Acropolis

Silence Pond

Random Events

Dozen Eggs Balances on a ledge

Tramp Catches leprosy

Mutant Strikes the church bell

Amulet Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

World

Stores

Benjamin's Bell Hole

Carter's Kitchen table Little shop

Rowe's Painting Bazaar

Simpson's Satchel Little shop

Traps

Poison Dart

Ice lock of Good Spirits

Objects

Bell children's replica

Painting made of heavy metal

Secret Kitchen table

Hidden Trident

Lipstick of Good Spirits

Wand of Wonder

Target’s waterskin is filled with his own blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Avery Carter "Junior Fingers" Merchant Mirrors Harmonica
Skylar Rowe "Silver Boy" Mole Soccer Soap
Dean Wallace Cosmetologist Flashlights Cooking
Benjamin Grant Engineer Shirts Hammers
Austin Simpson Depressed Bears Potatoes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).