The Director Welcomes You

The Embarrassed Voyage Exploit

#758d2c

Location

Calm, Balmy Micronesia, Federated States of

Time of Day

18:14

Extraction Point

111 Miles S

Time to Complete

39 Hours

Spy Deputies,
It seems "Mini Aardvark" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "A roll of thunder at the witch's mound". We need you to eliminate them, Adventurously. Their last known location was recorded at 07:07. You have a Slippery Paint Brush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Skylar Farmer

Alias

"Mini Aardvark"

Features

5' 6"

Brown eyes

Stretch Marks / Left eye

Organization

The Brotherhood of Feckless People

Emotions

Anxious

Personality

Adventurously Purple

Motive

Take over a country justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

George the "Grumpy Dolphin"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The Embarrassed Jungle

Ancient Arcade

Well-being Circus

Random Events

Dancer Skips merrily

Chanting Cult runs over an infant

Biscuit skins a cat with his teeth

Princess Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Lauren's Rug Couture

Lloyd's Landscape Arcade

Ayala's Certificate Group

Hunt's Footlocker Warehouse

Traps

Crushing Room

Acid Fog of Sanitation

Objects

Rug children's replica

Certificate that has been hollowed out

Secret Landscape

Hidden Pen

Spear of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

Target’s allies conspire to sell him into slavery

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Tricia Lloyd "Fast Churros" Merchant Glitter Washing Machines
Gael Ayala "Left Feet" Mole Doves Oranges
Luis Rogers Surgeon Easter Candles
Lauren Barber Geologist Lamps Bracelets
Weston Hunt Teacher Boxes Technology

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).