The Director Welcomes You

The Boldly Extended Agent

#287ae3

Location

Foul, Overcast North Macedonia

Time of Day

5:39

Extraction Point

114 Miles N

Time to Complete

3 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Anastasia Lyons has gone missing and we believe "Golden Unicorn" is responsible. They were last seen in North Macedonia at 23:15. The agent sent one final message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Serpents Nest". Take this Slippery Candle - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Messiah Gregory

Alias

"Golden Unicorn"

Features

4' 1"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Crotch

Organization

The Division of Baleful Cocktail

Emotions

Proud

Personality

Boldly Bankrupt

Motive

Disrupt the military justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Juan the "Affluent Mummy"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Extended Masquerade

Deserted Citadel

Virtue City

Random Events

Amulet overflows

Dozen Eggs is being loudly arrested

Lactose Intolerance Strikes the church bell

Transport Glistens gently

World

Stores

Genesis's Tea Pot Technologies

Luna's Kitchen knife Department store

Harvey's Tapestry Industries

Lyons's Spice shelf Cosmetics

Traps

Scything Blade

Arrow of Laughter

Objects

Tea Pot that is glowing

Tapestry with a False bottom

Secret Kitchen knife

Hidden Crossbow

Cat of Laughter

Wand of Wonder

Target obsessively pursues the one-armed man who killed his wife

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jade Luna "Obese Eyes" Merchant Photography Attention
Asher Harvey "Fast Ribs" Mole Doves Batteries
Nolan Thompson Shadow Attention Trees
Genesis Hubbard Surgeon Sticks Lamps
Anastasia Lyons Drunken Fire Houses

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).