The Director Welcomes You

The Almost Surly Agent

#059a31

Location

Cloudless, Cloudy Cameroon

Time of Day

9:39

Extraction Point

101 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

31 Hours

Shadows,
We need your help. Agent Ryan Patterson has gone missing and we believe "Left Pig" is responsible. They were last seen in Cameroon at 14:02. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a sword in a stone at the hive". Take this Light Spoon - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Amir Ross

Alias

"Left Pig"

Features

7' 11"

Green eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Union of Evasive Hose

Emotions

Self-conscious

Personality

Almost Mastadonic

Motive

Disrupt the military because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Feisty Sphinx"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Surly Villa

Desolate Park

Instability Masquerade

Random Events

Majestic Painting is being loudly arrested

Spectator Skips merrily

Goblet Crashes slowly

Jug of Peanut Butter is heard screaming

World

Stores

Charlotte's Oil Lamp Beauty Stop

Norton's Fruit Bowl Beauty Stop

Patton's Iron stove Consulting

Patterson's Medallion Factory

Traps

Flooded Corridor

Box of Brown Mold of Euphoria

Objects

Oil Lamp with a False bottom

Iron stove with a False bottom

Secret Fruit Bowl

Hidden Throwing Dart

Bracelet of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Caster loses 10d1000 gold pieces in a wacky investment scheme

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Steven Norton "Italian Boy" Merchant Flashlights Lamps
Mariah Patton "Orange Dumplings" Mole Ice Cubes Dolphins
Kevin Christensen Physician Toilets Dinosaurs
Charlotte Warren Blacksmith Photography Coffee
Ryan Patterson Hairdresser Notes Cellphones

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).