The Director Welcomes You

The Flesh Disaster Protocol

#f73c8d

Location

Dry, Chilly Djibouti

Time of Day

10:7

Extraction Point

197 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Investigators,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Pitch Black Sanctuary . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Meaty Demon" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the dry riverbed". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Evil Newspaper hidden on you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Vincent Cook

Alias

"Meaty Demon"

Features

5' 4"

Amber eyes

Large moles / Right foot

Organization

The Society of Young Wizard

Emotions

Caring

Personality

Unnaturally Defeated

Motive

Take over a government to become rich

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Encrusted Camel"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Yellow Isle

Bustling Peninsula

Bliss Forge

Random Events

Druid explodes

Cat explodes

Crazy Man screams at the top of their lungs

Vagabond Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Declan's Iron stove Little shop

Harvey's Oil Lamp Factory

Howell's Counter Closet

Adkins's Lipstick Logistics

Traps

Ice lock

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Disaster

Objects

Iron stove children's replica

Counter that has been hollowed out

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Soy Sauce Packet

Javelins of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

Target craves twigs and bark after every battle

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zoey Harvey "Five Muscles" Merchant Gym Memberships Sharks
Richard Howell "Little Forearms" Mole Rabbits Death
Xavier Carter Surgeon Technology Candles
Declan Frank Fortune Cookie Writer Chalk Sharks
Brielle Adkins Artist Tea Squirrels

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).