The Director Welcomes You

Cough, Mohawk, Health, Spy.

#eba5d2

Location

Gorgeous, Dark Congo, Democratic Republic of the

Time of Day

19:28

Extraction Point

151 Miles NE

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Detectives,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Pair of Statues children's replica. Get to Congo, Democratic Republic of the at 14:20

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Silas Richardson

Alias

"The Succubus"

Features

4' 11"

Green eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Department of Fast Health

Emotions

Panicked

Personality

Quicker Mossy

Motive

Take over a country to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Nick the "Dusty Hobgoblin"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Brief House

Underwater Crypt

Fate Crypt

Random Events

Turtle Is frozen into a block of ice

Reindeer catches on fire

Gunshot Is accused by the law

Sewer Is hurled at the adventurers

World

Stores

Scarlett's Pair of Statues Atelier

Griffin's Hanging Birdcage Bureau

Greene's Potted Plant Labs

Le's Crock Mall

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Box of Brown Mold of Weakness

Objects

Pair of Statues children's replica

Potted Plant that has been hollowed out

Secret Hanging Birdcage

Hidden Pen

Bracelet of Weakness

Wand of Wonder

Target’s skin reflects torchlight perfectly, but not sunlight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Joel Griffin "Casual Cappuccinos" Merchant Glass Writers
Isla Greene "All Muscles" Mole Rubber Bands Dinosaurs
Aaliyah Osborne Consultant Socks Houses
Scarlett Brewer Human Statue Books Honey
Ariana Le Geologist Dinosaurs Octopus

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).