The Director Welcomes You

Hole Royale

#85fd04

Location

Warm, Windless Portugal

Time of Day

23:55

Extraction Point

30 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "Mini Lion" has gone level 1. They have been broadcasting this message "An object nearby starts bleeding at the old bridge". We need you to eliminate them, Kindly. Their last known location was recorded at 16:17. You have a Bulbous Bicycle as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Miguel Frazier

Alias

"Mini Lion"

Features

5' 10"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Crotch

Organization

The Crew of Nutritious Crime

Emotions

Concern

Personality

Kindly Putrid

Motive

Take over a country to control the Children

Bodyguard

Randy the "Jagged Owlman"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Late Lagoon

Deserted Maze

Cleanliness Maze

Random Events

Baker Glistens gently

Panhandler Is being tortured

Deadbeat is being loudly arrested

Horse Carriage Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Greyson's Taxidermy animal Hole

Pena's Satchel Atelier

Holmes's Fruit Bowl Wardrobe

Payne's Hatrack Group

Traps

Poisoned Arrow

Dropping Ceiling of Reservation

Objects

Taxidermy animal that is glowing

Fruit Bowl children's replica

Secret Satchel

Hidden Blowgun

Shoe of Reservation

Wand of Wonder

The ground now at target’s feet is intensely magnetic

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Luke Pena "Black Thumbs" Merchant Dolphins Mirrors
Isaiah Holmes "Cheap Pastrami's" Mole Dinosaurs Paperclips
Marcus Thompson Fortune Cookie Writer Balloons Paper
Greyson Hayes Surgeon Doves Shirts
Callie Payne Funeral Director Whipped Cream Rubber Stamps

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).