The Director Welcomes You

Who is Donald Jizz?

#e5223f

Location

Foul, Windy Guyana

Time of Day

16:48

Extraction Point

80 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside be locked inside of a Polluted Forge . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Left Demon" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the Music Store". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Vicious Stapler hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Arya Lang

Alias

"Left Demon"

Features

4' 7"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Right hand

Organization

The Crew of Crashing Corset

Emotions

Cheerful

Personality

Jaggedly Dilligent

Motive

Take over a government out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Donald the "Boned Unicorn"

Physical Size

Little

Story

Additional Locations

The Squeaking Maze

Expensive Pond

Virtue Acropolis

Random Events

Spectator is robbed

Princess skins a cat with his teeth

Ninja Becomes wounded

Beggar Ignites violently

World

Stores

Jayce's Bureau Solutions

Diaz's Rubber Plant Department store

Salinas's Toolbox Atelier

Hughes's Quill and Ink Ventures

Traps

Acid Arrow

Suspicious door with lock of Euphoria

Objects

Bureau that is glowing

Toolbox that is glowing

Secret Rubber Plant

Hidden Club

Nipple Clamp of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Each morning, caster must Save or be rendered mute for that day

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dominic Diaz "One Scars" Merchant Physics Broccoli
Guy Salinas "Gross Hands" Mole Chalk Singing
Silas McBride Exhausted Notes Chocolate
Jayce Perry Exhilarated Dolphins Lamps
Jeremiah Hughes The Body Oranges Soup

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).