The Director Welcomes You

The Greasy Underwear Mission

#362df7

Location

Wet, Mild Trinidad and Tobago

Time of Day

0:11

Extraction Point

29 Miles E

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Nevaeh Cannon has gone missing and we believe "Fast Gargoyle" is responsible. They were last seen in Trinidad and Tobago at 17:23. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the Seven Dead". Take this Invisible Plier - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

William Cooper

Alias

"Fast Gargoyle"

Features

5' 8"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Neck

Organization

The Fraternity of Panicky Week

Emotions

Lonely

Personality

Briefly Petulant

Motive

Take over a country for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Anthony the "Surly Minotaur"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Greasy House

Touristy Island

Censorship Peninsula

Random Events

Bum emerges

Hound Adopts a nearby child

Cauldron Is frozen into a block of ice

Thief Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Eloise's Bench Supermarket

Ayala's crutch Wardrobe

Sutton's Platter Bureau

Cannon's Paperweight Ventures

Traps

Compacting Room

Ghoul Touch of Obliteration

Objects

Bench that has been hollowed out

Platter that is glowing

Secret crutch

Hidden Chastity Belt

Pen of Obliteration

Wand of Wonder

The wreckage of a sunken warship appears in caster’s home

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Zoey Ayala "Three Feet" Merchant Snowglobes Contracts
Judy Sutton "Short Pretzels" Mole Eggs Chalk
Adrian Garrett Talent agent Lamps Cooking
Eloise Murphy Intoxicated Horses Balloons
Nevaeh Cannon Artist Socks Comic Books

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).