The Director Welcomes You
Who is Crystal Scales?
#312129
Eyeballs, I have sent you to circle a Ancient Arcade to look for a suspect by the name "Indigo Humanoid". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Distant sounds of screaming at the Fallen King".
We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Mechanical Spoon in your kit to help.
— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.
Kayla Chen
"Indigo Humanoid"
7' 5"
Green eyes
Large deep scar / Left eye
The Bunch of Dowdy Smoke
Uncomfortable
Greatly Vast
Make a lot of money for a love interest
Crystal the "Curious Minotaur"
Gigantic
The Wide Creek
Deserted Crypt
Ruin Port
Squirrel Is being detained
Donkey runs over an infant
Toilet Strikes the church bell
Baker Skips merrily
Jordan's Faberge Egg Market
Miller's Workbench Brothers
Jensen's Staircase Beauty Stop
Vargas's Iron stove Chic Chåteau
Bear Trap
Object Smeared with Poison of Annihilation
Faberge Egg with a False bottom
Staircase with a False bottom
Secret Workbench
Hidden Brass Knuckles
Wrench of Annihilation
Caster’s ears fall off and regrow every few days
| Name | Codename | Career | Likes | Dislikes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mary Miller | "Casual Spleens" | Merchant | Soccer | Oranges |
| Ivy Jensen | "Violet Cappuccinos" | Mole | Stickers | Rocks |
| Elias Hudson | Human Statue | Cooking | Chocolate | |
| Jordan Banks | Drunken | Trucks | Deodorant | |
| Parker Vargas | Chief Executive Officer | Rocks | Television |
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.
Set UpGive the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.
Characters90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.
RollingThis can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.
Dungeon MasterYour goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.
EndingNo one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).