The Director Welcomes You

Who is Juan Snowflake?

#02de63

Location

Cloudy, Windless Canada

Time of Day

5:46

Extraction Point

19 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

46 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Abandoned Grove . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Heavy Koalas" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A thick fog rolls in at the Screaming Waterfall". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Slippery Hot Glue Gun hidden on you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ella Santos

Alias

"Heavy Koalas"

Features

4' 11"

Amber eyes

Small mole / Right eye

Organization

The Society of Bruised Uncle

Emotions

Receptive

Personality

Valiantly Empty

Motive

Take over a government to become the best

Bodyguard

Juan the "Stoned Ghost"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Wrong Shelter

Ancient Crypt

Competency House

Random Events

Turtle arrives in the mail

Crow Is frozen into a block of ice

Rustler stop the party and asks questions

Nomad strikes the ground

World

Stores

Liam's Paperweight International

Harmon's Trinket Mall

Day's Canopy Bed Little shop

Blair's Cabinet Outlet

Traps

Compacting Room

Black Tentacles of Extinction

Objects

Paperweight that is glowing

Canopy Bed children's replica

Secret Trinket

Hidden Helmet

Soy Sauce Packet of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Everyone within 50 yards has 1d100 gold pieces in his pocket

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nova Harmon "Four Kidneys" Merchant Squirrels Bracelets
Brantley Day "Two Forearms" Mole Death Sharp Things
Alaina Wells Restless Video Games Candles
Liam Brady Lawyer Children's Stories Oranges
Serenity Blair Stressed Jigsaw Puzzles Rabbits

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).