The Director Welcomes You

Mommy, Music, Shovel, Spy.

#0352c5

Location

Windless, Arid Samoa

Time of Day

14:38

Extraction Point

182 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

14 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Brandon Jordan has gone missing and we believe "Violet Hydra" is responsible. They were last seen in Samoa at 07:12. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Ancient Fountain". Take this Robotic Headphones - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Clara Fowler

Alias

"Violet Hydra"

Features

7' 7"

Red eyes

A second belly button / Crotch

Organization

The Community of Quick Shovel

Emotions

Relaxed

Personality

Patiently Dry

Motive

Take over a government fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Terry the "Weak Basilisk"

Physical Size

Young

Story

Additional Locations

The Silly Carnival

Polluted Mansion

Prosperity Forge

Random Events

Crowd Strikes the church bell

Crying Child Is hurled at the adventurers

Delivery Guy meets disaster

Dozen Eggs scurries by

World

Stores

Isla's Ceramic Crock Factory

Wise's Barrel Beauty Stop

Brewer's Medallion Creative

Jordan's Quill and Ink Outlet

Traps

Blade Barrier

Blade Barrier of Obliteration

Objects

Ceramic Crock that has been hollowed out

Medallion children's replica

Secret Barrel

Hidden Coif

Coif of Obliteration

Wand of Wonder

Target’s mouth is replaced by a toucan’s beak

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alina Wise "Heavy Bones" Merchant Chili Cooking
Morris Brewer "Black Matzo Balls" Mole Horses Stickers
Angel Rodriguez Townsfolk Shirts Hammers
Isla Dean Envious Mirrors Trucks
Brandon Jordan Electrician Hamsters Cousins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).