The Director Welcomes You

Outlet Royale

#82bc66

Location

Breezy, Bright Dominica

Time of Day

19:56

Extraction Point

2 Miles S

Time to Complete

42 Hours

Examiners,
We need your help. Agent Sarah Farmer has gone missing and we believe "Tough Humanoid" is responsible. They were last seen in Dominica at 01:21. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Great Shadow". Take this Beautiful Quilt - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lyla Nguyen

Alias

"Tough Humanoid"

Features

6' 8"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Crotch

Organization

The Bureau of Proud Headquarters

Emotions

Awkward

Personality

Nearly Slimy

Motive

Disrupt the military out of desperation

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Slimey Bull"

Physical Size

Teeny

Story

Additional Locations

The Purring Jungle

Underwater Barn Dance

Prosperity Grove

Random Events

Cookie stop the party and asks questions

Procession Adopts a nearby child

Horse Carriage Salutes the adventurers

Bag of Flour Ignites violently

World

Stores

Evelyn's Skeletal Animal Outlet

McCoy's Letter Opener Discount

Norman's Chaise Brothers

Farmer's Cabinet Market

Traps

Hail of Needles

Razor-Wire across Hallway of Imperfection

Objects

Skeletal Animal made of heavy metal

Chaise that has been hollowed out

Secret Letter Opener

Hidden Whip

Nipple Clamp of Imperfection

Wand of Wonder

Anyone looking into the target’s ear has visions of the hereafter

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jacob McCoy "The Eyes" Merchant Scarves Glitter
Greyson Norman "Casual Legs" Mole Flashlights Limes
Elliot Manning Police Officer Lipstick Lamps
Evelyn Fowler Electrician Dolphins Cooking
Sarah Farmer Railroad Conductor Easter Christmas

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).