The Director Welcomes You

The Bust Pleasure Protocol

#03306e

Location

Breezy, Balmy Morocco

Time of Day

0:2

Extraction Point

27 Miles SW

Time to Complete

25 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
It seems "Red Kraken" has gone level 2. They have been broadcasting this message "A thick fog rolls in at the Rainbow Mountain". We need you to eliminate them, Reproachfully. Their last known location was recorded at 06:00. You have a Polished Paint Brush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Emery Perez

Alias

"Red Kraken"

Features

6' 3"

Red eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Office of Annoying Snowflake

Emotions

Trust

Personality

Reproachfully Boned

Motive

Make a lot of money because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Philip the "Loose Horse"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Mossy Crypt

Polluted Sanctuary

Downfall Lagoon

Random Events

Pine Branch Finds gold in the water

Demon runs over an infant

Midwife Protests

Vagrant Salutes the adventurers

World

Stores

Declan's Clamp Boutique

Hughes's Mural Little shop

Espinoza's Crate Couture

Porter's Statuette Logistics

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Bestow Curse of Pleasure

Objects

Clamp that has been hollowed out

Crate children's replica

Secret Mural

Hidden Lighter

Spoon of Pleasure

Wand of Wonder

All worked stone within 50 yards is water soluble

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Christian Hughes "Gross Fingers" Merchant Sharks Tea
Elliot Espinoza "King Throats" Mole Soup Octopus
Emilia Holland Optimistic Paper Chickens
Declan Beck Butcher Balloons Sticks
Joel Porter Chief Executive Officer Water Candy

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).