The Director Welcomes You

The Obnoxious Can Enigma

#63ab80

Location

Frigid, Chilly Romania

Time of Day

1:55

Extraction Point

71 Miles S

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Sleuths,
I have sent you to the top of a Desolate Nuclear Power Plant to look for a suspect by the name "Nice Python". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the graveyard".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Explosive Mirror in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sydney Wolfe

Alias

"Nice Python"

Features

5' 1"

Green eyes

Large moles / Left thumb

Organization

The Agency of Scarce Triplet

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Knowingly Sovereign

Motive

Disrupt the military to save humanity

Bodyguard

George the "Holy Abominable Snowman"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Obnoxious Forest

Crowded Arcade

Peace Castle

Random Events

Leopard Is hurled at the adventurers

Thief is robbed

Dozen Eggs Gets their hand chopped off

Box of Mice Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Angelina's Sconce Consulting

Nelson's Trunk Bureau

Weaver's Certificate Bazaar

Wolf's Bureau Discount

Traps

Acid Arrow

Flooded Corridor of Casualties

Objects

Sconce that is glowing

Certificate with a False bottom

Secret Trunk

Hidden Watch

Hatchet of Casualties

Wand of Wonder

Caster can teleport into the nearest hollow tree, once

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Alyssa Nelson "Red Kidneys" Merchant Rocks Acorns
Isaiah Weaver "Chunky Feet" Mole Lipstick Death
Sydney Olson Annoyed Scarves Whipped Cream
Angelina Woods Police Officer Baseball Rubber Stamps
Theodore Wolf Frazzled Drinking Glass

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).