The Director Welcomes You

Chic Chåteau Royale

#e14754

Location

Balmy, Dry Luxembourg

Time of Day

10:7

Extraction Point

145 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Investigators,
As you can see you are trapped inside the outside of a Overpopulated Lake . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Slow Cyclops" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the Top of the carousel wheel". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Light Bolt Cutter hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayla Reese

Alias

"Slow Cyclops"

Features

7' 8"

Green eyes

Small mole / Right foot

Organization

The Clique of Fluffy Plunger

Emotions

Disliked

Personality

Zestfully Fugly

Motive

Disrupt the military to become rich

Bodyguard

Larry the "Thoughtless Spirit"

Physical Size

Poor

Story

Additional Locations

The Future Jungle

Touristy Manor

Excitement Business

Random Events

Dead Animal approaches

Softball Calls menacingly

Horse Carriage Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Deadbeat Is being tortured

World

Stores

Peyton's Skeletal Animal Chic Chåteau

Wagner's Spare brick Little shop

Malone's Flower in Vase Bureau

Dawson's Shoe Horn Group

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Ice lock of Delirium

Objects

Skeletal Animal that has been hollowed out

Flower in Vase with a False bottom

Secret Spare brick

Hidden Brass Knuckles

Staff of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

Target only needs to blink once every 4d6 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Austin Wagner "Three Eyes" Merchant Quartz Crystals Horses
Gabriella Malone "No Noses" Mole Tea Whipped Cream
Ezekiel Fleming Cosmetologist Rubber Bands Quartz Crystals
Peyton Santiago Statistician Syrup Bears
Henry Dawson Physician Christmas Chocolate

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).