The Director Welcomes You

The Loose Pineapple Assignment

#82724e

Location

Humid, Hot Oman

Time of Day

22:56

Extraction Point

37 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

18 Hours

Snoopers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Statuette children's replica. Get to Oman at 05:13

Good Luck.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Mateo Chambers

Alias

"Left Doppelganger"

Features

5' 9"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Right foot

Organization

The Council of Pitiful Prison

Emotions

Lust

Personality

Annually Jolly

Motive

Take over a government because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Sticky Roc"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Loose Forge

Compact Lodge

Pleasure Chateau

Random Events

Panhandler catches on fire

Horse Carriage Strikes the church bell

Deadbeat Is being kidnapped

Demon arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Sadie's Statuette Bazaar

Watson's Rug Atelier

Moore's Skeletal Animal Emporium

Simmons's Sofa Outlet

Traps

Extended Bane

Acid Fog of Skill

Objects

Statuette children's replica

Skeletal Animal made of heavy metal

Secret Rug

Hidden Blowgun

Cutlass of Skill

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he was bitten by a werewolf one month ago

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ariel Watson "Left Eyes" Merchant Football Contracts
Tucker Moore "Tough Kidneys" Mole Lamps Rubber Bands
Ethan Lowe Frazzled Death Soda
Sadie Rodriguez Lawyer Hammers Sticky Notes
Kinsley Simmons Zestful Essential Oils Basketball

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).