The Director Welcomes You

Little shop Royale

#8dd5da

Location

Icy, Windy Ghana

Time of Day

2:20

Extraction Point

159 Miles SW

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside descend into Crowded Citadel . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Small Sea Lion" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Three Fingers". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Colorful Lighter hidden on you.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Andrea Bates

Alias

"Small Sea Lion"

Features

6' 5"

Heterochromia eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Society of Whining Poodle

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Anxiously Wooden

Motive

Disrupt the military out of survival

Bodyguard

John the "Victorian Beholder"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Agreeable Manor

Underground Grove

Expiration Suburbs

Random Events

Husband drops from the sky

Princess Is getting confiscated

Herd of Chicken Gets their hand chopped off

Reindeer Spontaneously disintegrates

World

Stores

Avery's Lamp Little shop

Jensen's Staircase Bureau

Schneider's Hatrack Collective

Walsh's Canopy Bed Logistics

Traps

Tripping Chain

Ray of Sickness of Weakness

Objects

Lamp with a False bottom

Hatrack that is glowing

Secret Staircase

Hidden Falchion

Camera of Weakness

Wand of Wonder

An image of caster’s beating heart hovers in the nearest doorway

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Finn Jensen "Cramped Feet" Merchant Chickens Eggs
Ezekiel Schneider "Short Bagels" Mole Water Cellphones
Carter Mueller Artist Death Soup
Avery Day Vision Potatoes Fire
Aubrey Walsh Professional Cuddler Comic Books Balloons

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).