The Director Welcomes You

The Revolting Necklace Incident

#e073a7

Location

Chilly, Frigid Libya

Time of Day

6:8

Extraction Point

182 Miles NE

Time to Complete

19 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Dominic Stanley has gone missing and we believe "Obese Cockatrice" is responsible. They were last seen in Libya at 02:10. The agent sent one final message – "The group finds a dead fish at the old bridge". Take this Fluffy Boot - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jordan Mendez

Alias

"Obese Cockatrice"

Features

7' 2"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Right foot

Organization

The Authority of Didactic Patsy

Emotions

Uncomfortable

Personality

Cautiously Purring

Motive

Make a lot of money to save humanity

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Victorious potato"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Revolting Crypt

Deserted Acropolis

Purity Crypt

Random Events

Prostitute Becomes wounded

Procession Salutes the adventurers

Crazy Man Evades the law

VAT of Broth Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Jayce's Staircase Department store

Howell's Watch Factory

Lowe's Vase Factory

Stanley's Cabinet Arcade

Traps

Floor Net

Poison Wall Spikes of Demise

Objects

Staircase made of heavy metal

Vase that is glowing

Secret Watch

Hidden Axe

Shield of Demise

Wand of Wonder

Caster is rumored to have placed a huge bounty on his own head

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Robert Howell "Dull Parmigianas" Merchant Honey Rock n' Roll
Jasmine Lowe "Five Forearms" Mole Sticky Notes Lions
Oliver Dixon Chef Painting Chili
Jayce Romero Geologist Deodorant Hamsters
Dominic Stanley Surgeon Chili Flowers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).