The Director Welcomes You

The Handsome Bird Scene

#853ed5

Location

Humid, Dry Panama

Time of Day

1:58

Extraction Point

175 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside be locked inside of a Crowded City . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Junior Seal" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A roll of thunder at the witch's mound". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Colorful Vise hidden on you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Madelyn Thornton

Alias

"Junior Seal"

Features

4' 10"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left leg

Organization

The Committee of Muscular Glasses

Emotions

Grumpy

Personality

Zealously Boned

Motive

Take over a country for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Nick the "Modern Giraffe"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Handsome Chateau

Underwater Circus

Weakness Park

Random Events

Toilet Is being detained

Crying Child Is getting confiscated

Rhapsody Calls menacingly

Bag of Lemons is being loudly arrested

World

Stores

Axel's Sconce Threads

Tucker's Kitchen knife Wardrobe

Roberts's Large book Ventures

Rios's Footlocker Hole

Traps

Portcullis

Bricks from Ceiling of Imperfection

Objects

Sconce with a False bottom

Large book children's replica

Secret Kitchen knife

Hidden Staff

Gauntlet of Imperfection

Wand of Wonder

Target is rendered like a cow in an abattoir

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cecilia Tucker "Green Stomachs" Merchant Slippers Paperclips
Emily Roberts "Green Pretzels" Mole Limes Snowglobes
Maximus Rojas Accountant Acorns Singing
Axel Simmons Scientist Soap Rubber Bands
Valeria Rios Librarian Cookies Deodorant

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).