The Director Welcomes You

Who is Philip Salami?

#c23160

Location

Chilly, Dull Senegal

Time of Day

16:25

Extraction Point

177 Miles SW

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Shadows,
It seems "No Leech" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "Distant sounds of screaming at the Eye of Heaven". We need you to eliminate them, Viciously. Their last known location was recorded at 20:06. You have a Explosive Bible as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Declan Johnston

Alias

"No Leech"

Features

7' 3"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The company of Verdant Burlesque

Emotions

Helpless

Personality

Viciously Mossy

Motive

Disrupt the military to control the Children

Bodyguard

Philip the "Skinny Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Spoiled Peninsula

Crowded Business

The Blackest Black Sanctuary

Random Events

Woman runs over an infant

Safe approaches

Dracula arrives in the mail

Nomad Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Braxton's Kitchen knife Logistics

Fields's Workbench Emporium

Bauer's Staircase Convenience store

Marshall's Mirror Creative

Traps

Flame Strike

Hail of Needles of Skill

Objects

Kitchen knife that is glowing

Staircase children's replica

Secret Workbench

Hidden Spoon

Hatchet of Skill

Wand of Wonder

Caster is rumored to have killed the last person to ask his name

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jordyn Fields "Drowsy Lungs" Merchant Singing Robots
Zion Bauer "Black Kidneys" Mole Dice Sharp Things
Jude Barker Drunken Flowers Slippers
Braxton Gardner Drunken Rubber Stamps Paperclips
Karter Marshall Cosmetologist Ice Cubes Squirrels

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).