The Director Welcomes You

The Crack Extermination Incident

#100744

Location

Cloudless, Mild Mexico

Time of Day

2:25

Extraction Point

9 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Meddlers,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Crowded Shelter . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Tough Kangaroos" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Screaming Waterfall". Your mission was anti-surveillance, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Explosive Bandana hidden on you.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lincoln Gordon

Alias

"Tough Kangaroos"

Features

7' 10"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right hand

Organization

The Society of Breezy Art

Emotions

Interested

Personality

Lightly Embarrassed

Motive

Take over a country to please their master

Bodyguard

Joseph the "Gregorian Vampires"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Irrelevant Jungle

Bustling Carousal

Perspiration Shelter

Random Events

Pickpocket meets disaster

Bum Becomes wounded

Crow Attempts to rob a bank

Rustler Protests

World

Stores

Mila's Stool Department store

Kennedy's Mirror Discount

Nichols's Credenza Mall

Vazquez's Platter Collective

Traps

Floor Net

Earthquake of Extermination

Objects

Stool with a False bottom

Credenza made of heavy metal

Secret Mirror

Hidden Bracelet

Shield of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

Caster isn’t quite certain that he’s not the spawn of a demon

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nathan Kennedy "Nice Heels" Merchant Rocks Photography
Audrey Nichols "Short Lemons" Mole Chili Washing Machines
Morris Lowe Musician Children's Stories Flowers
Mila Wright Demon Cousins Butterflies
Brooklyn Vazquez Envious Tissues Jigsaw Puzzles

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).