The Director Welcomes You

The Yam Sanitation Protocol

#4a8677

Location

Arid, Wet Mauritania

Time of Day

9:52

Extraction Point

185 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Alaina Campbell has gone missing and we believe "Heavy Merfolk" is responsible. They were last seen in Mauritania at 17:00. The agent sent one final message – "Clouds develop quickly at the hive". Take this Mechanical Camera - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ava Le

Alias

"Heavy Merfolk"

Features

4' 10"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Society of Lively Grip

Emotions

Sad

Personality

Jovially Deep

Motive

Make a lot of money to please their master

Bodyguard

Prince the "Hissing Pegasus"

Physical Size

Sizable

Story

Additional Locations

The Ruminating Barn Dance

Archaic Jungle

Mania Maze

Random Events

Milk Shipment Evades the law

Diary Attempts to rob a bank

Transport Protests

Hoard Evades the law

World

Stores

Piper's Bonsai Beauty Stop

Moody's Spare brick Department store

Valdez's Candelabra Couture

Campbell's Pipe Arcade

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Camouflaged Pit of Sanitation

Objects

Bonsai that is glowing

Candelabra that has been hollowed out

Secret Spare brick

Hidden Bracelet

Throwing Dart of Sanitation

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t be killed by any female creature for 1d4 weeks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Miles Moody "Stiff Stomachs" Merchant Fire Candles
Mackenzie Valdez "Nice Churros" Mole Sticks Singing
Natalia Reeves Paramedic Scarves Socks
Piper Page Scientist Rocks Chickens
Alaina Campbell Elder Houses Chili

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).