The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Hot Quilt

#18ae69

Location

Balmy, Humid East Timor

Time of Day

6:28

Extraction Point

97 Miles N

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Sleuths,
We need your help. Agent Isabel Burke has gone missing and we believe "All Lion" is responsible. They were last seen in East Timor at 07:08. The agent sent one final message – "A vagrant asks for money at the Underwater cave". Take this Mechanical Nuts and Bolts - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Malachi Parker

Alias

"All Lion"

Features

7' 9"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Crew of Dilligent Development

Emotions

Calm

Personality

Fortunately Ugliest

Motive

Take over a country to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Peter the "Jolly Cyclops"

Physical Size

Teeny

Story

Additional Locations

The Hot Forest

Desolate Pond

Animosity Crypt

Random Events

Odor screams at the top of their lungs

Dozen Eggs Is being detained

Lactose Intolerance gathers near a point of interest

Cauldron drops from the sky

World

Stores

Mila's Letter Opener Ventures

Nguyen's Window Supermarket

Carrillo's Bonsai Discount

Burke's Oil Lamp Labs

Traps

Arrow

Flooded Corridor of Delirium

Objects

Letter Opener that has been hollowed out

Bonsai children's replica

Secret Window

Hidden Nipple Clamp

Hammers of Delirium

Wand of Wonder

If hit by a bludgeon on a natural 20, caster has a divine vision

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Axel Nguyen "Three Spleens" Merchant Honey Stickers
Andrew Carrillo "Green Bagels" Mole Music Bracelets
Jonathan Price Geologist Glitter Dolphins
Mila Walters Firefighter Dolphins Sailboats
Isabel Burke Electrician Lions Photography

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).