The Director Welcomes You

The Busily Ubiquitous Agent

#def531

Location

Breezy, Gorgeous Finland

Time of Day

5:23

Extraction Point

19 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

39 Hours

Eyeballs,
We need your help. Agent Chloe Pierce has gone missing and we believe "Tough Kaiju" is responsible. They were last seen in Finland at 22:22. The agent sent one final message – "The earth shakes briefly at the Golden Fire". Take this Sharp Hammer - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Sofia Buchanan

Alias

"Tough Kaiju"

Features

7' 8"

Gray eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Bureau of Filthy Outback

Emotions

Hurt

Personality

Busily Rhythmic

Motive

Take over a government to please their master

Bodyguard

Philip the "Damp Camel"

Physical Size

Shrimpy

Story

Additional Locations

The Ubiquitous House

Hidden Chateau

Calming Isle

Random Events

Store Balances on a ledge

Bunny Integrates silently into the group

Fairy Becomes wounded

Potato Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

World

Stores

Austin's Quill and Ink Discount

Sutton's Fireplace Consulting

Fitzgerald's Staircase Wardrobe

Pierce's Plaster Bust Supermarket

Traps

Chain Lightning

Bricks from Ceiling of Darkness

Objects

Quill and Ink that is glowing

Staircase children's replica

Secret Fireplace

Hidden File

Spoon of Darkness

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards are 10% likely to be stricken bald forever

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isabel Sutton "Yellow Boy" Merchant Squirrels Chickens
Andrew Fitzgerald "Quiet Hearts" Mole Easter Socks
Mary Gibson Vision Books Broccoli
Austin Potter Teacher Children's Stories Sharks
Chloe Pierce Demon Chocolate Cousins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).