The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Fulsome Splint

#81158c

Location

Dark, Warm Iceland

Time of Day

13:29

Extraction Point

149 Miles SE

Time to Complete

5 Hours

Detectives,
I have sent you to the top of a Rundown Missile Launch Site to look for a suspect by the name "Meaty Leprechaun". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "An out of place door appears at the old bridge".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Bulbous Lighter in your kit to help.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kennedy Howard

Alias

"Meaty Leprechaun"

Features

5' 6"

Amber eyes

A second belly button / Left foot

Organization

The Agency of Echoing Dad

Emotions

Sorrow

Personality

Dearly Old

Motive

Disrupt the military to control the Children

Bodyguard

Donald the "Calm Serpent"

Physical Size

Baby

Story

Additional Locations

The Fulsome Citadel

Rundown Castle

Extermination Barn Dance

Random Events

Bard Is frozen into a block of ice

Pine Branch Bounces oddly

Milk Shipment Evades the law

Toilet emerges

World

Stores

Taylor's Key Wardrobe

Dean's Wardrobe Properties

Harrison's Trophy Bureau

Sandoval's Crate Convenience store

Traps

Compacting Room

Ray of Sickness of Euphoria

Objects

Key that is glowing

Trophy that is glowing

Secret Wardrobe

Hidden Fork

Morning Star of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s fist jams itself into his mouth

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Xander Dean "No Cappuccinos" Merchant Water Trees
Isla Harrison "Sharp Boy" Mole Pillows Boxes
Caroline Cohen Electrician Slippers Physics
Taylor Warren Athlete Lions Doors
Chase Sandoval Psychiatrist Washing Machines Bells

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).