The Director Welcomes You

The Loyally Melodic Agent

#2b1c1c

Location

Mild, Gloomy Israel

Time of Day

3:31

Extraction Point

176 Miles N

Time to Complete

33 Hours

Spy Deputies,
We need your help. Agent Gracie Caldwell has gone missing and we believe "Small Dolphin" is responsible. They were last seen in Israel at 01:09. The agent sent one final message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the Stone Circle". Take this Angry Lighter - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ava Wong

Alias

"Small Dolphin"

Features

6' 5"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Bureau of Modern Cactus

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Loyally Tropical

Motive

Take over a government to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Stoned Sea Lion"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Melodic Jungle

Crowded Carnival

Secrecy Pond

Random Events

Goblet Is being tortured

Amulet Catches leprosy

Rustler Salutes the adventurers

Herd of Chicken meets disaster

World

Stores

Nevaeh's Brass Replica Worldwide

McCoy's Quill and Ink Brothers

Malone's Mounted Animal Outlet

Caldwell's Portrait Properties

Traps

Lightning Bolt

Acid Arrow of Competency

Objects

Brass Replica children's replica

Mounted Animal made of heavy metal

Secret Quill and Ink

Hidden Cutlass

Whip of Competency

Wand of Wonder

Caster has a powerful craving for the bark of the hemlock tree

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Willow McCoy "Quiet Knuckles" Merchant Houses Bells
Amir Malone "Indigo Hearts" Mole Stickers Sun Glasses
Ivy Oliver Spirit Peanut Butter Photography
Nevaeh Richards Technician Broccoli Acorns
Gracie Caldwell Physician Sailboats Jazz

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).