The Director Welcomes You

The Unimpressively Flabby Agent

#b481e6

Location

Sunny, Hot Japan

Time of Day

19:43

Extraction Point

175 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Scrutinizers,
We need your help. Agent Jeremy Garza has gone missing and we believe "Golden Chimera" is responsible. They were last seen in Japan at 01:16. The agent sent one final message – "A lone flower growing at the Great Shadow". Take this Delicate Bonsai Tree - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kylie McCormick

Alias

"Golden Chimera"

Features

5' 4"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Left arm

Organization

The Task Force of Irrelevant Synagogue

Emotions

Fearful

Personality

Unimpressively Sovereign

Motive

Disrupt the military to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Simon the "Facetious gorgon"

Physical Size

Hefty

Story

Additional Locations

The Flabby Festival

Compact Chateau

Skill Manor

Random Events

Baker is being loudly arrested

Dancer Attempts to rob a bank

Chanting Cult Finds gold in the water

Keg Catches leprosy

World

Stores

Charlie's Fire poker set Solutions

Norman's Flower in Vase Bazaar

Crawford's Bottle International

Garza's Armoir Cosmetics

Traps

Poison Needle

Black Tentacles of Euthanasia

Objects

Fire poker set with a False bottom

Bottle that is glowing

Secret Flower in Vase

Hidden Cat

Credit Card of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

Next person wounded by target must Save or age 1d6 years

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Lucy Norman "Mad Livers" Merchant Candles Limes
Avery Crawford "Red Forearms" Mole Mirrors Easter
Guy Becker Technician Mirrors Money
Charlie Soto Dentist Football Acorns
Jeremy Garza Accountant Teeth Drinking

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).