The Director Welcomes You

Who is Frankie Rub?

#3a571a

Location

Cloudy, Sunny Cabo Verde

Time of Day

9:4

Extraction Point

31 Miles SW

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Examiners,
As you can see you are trapped inside the outside of a Bustling Island . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Small Porpoises" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A white horse dashes past at the Broken Face". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Evil Banana hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Samantha McBride

Alias

"Small Porpoises"

Features

6' 11"

Green eyes

Faint curved scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Brotherhood of Obtuse Mint

Emotions

Lust

Personality

Mechanically Quaint

Motive

Make a lot of money for a love interest

Bodyguard

Frankie the "Oafish Hedgehogs"

Physical Size

Soaring

Story

Additional Locations

The Masochistic Arcade

Crowded Circus

Purity Palace

Random Events

Bellhop Is under a curse

Leopard Lunges at the group

Hoard explodes

Leopard emerges

World

Stores

Robert's Tapestry Arcade

Jenkins's Plaster Bust Little shop

Stewart's Shoe Horn Du jour

Burgess's Tea Pot Brothers

Traps

Flooding Room

Black Tentacles of Instability

Objects

Tapestry made of heavy metal

Shoe Horn children's replica

Secret Plaster Bust

Hidden Trident

Credit Card of Instability

Wand of Wonder

One of target’s limbs turns to solid gold

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emily Jenkins "White Parmigianas" Merchant Snowglobes Physics
Ashley Stewart "Right Churros" Mole Children's Stories Technology
Fiona Williams Electrician Robots Comic Books
Robert Santos Master Distiller Batteries Rubber Stamps
Mackenzie Burgess Artist Squirrels Chalk

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).