The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Portly Leash

#b29797

Location

Calm, Stormy Singapore

Time of Day

24:23

Extraction Point

7 Miles NE

Time to Complete

19 Hours

Sleuths,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Deserted Peninsula . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Obese Chimera" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A thick fog rolls in at the Fallen King". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clean Lighter hidden on you.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Ryder Rojas

Alias

"Obese Chimera"

Features

4' 9"

Hazel eyes

A second belly button / Right eye

Organization

The Guild of Creepy Religion

Emotions

Afraid

Personality

Gleefully Salty

Motive

Disrupt the military to please their master

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Surly Kangaroos"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Portly Grove

Polluted Carousal

Censorship Lagoon

Random Events

Meteor Balances on a ledge

Leopard is heard screaming

Ninja approaches

Toilet Adopts a nearby child

World

Stores

Angel's Oil Lamp Properties

Jackson's Potted Plant Specialities

Turner's Fireplace Labs

Juarez's Glass Jars Cosmetics

Traps

Razor-Wire across Hallway

Compacting Room of Darkness

Objects

Oil Lamp children's replica

Fireplace with a False bottom

Secret Potted Plant

Hidden Guthook

Guthook of Darkness

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t breathe until he removes his boots or shoes

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Landon Jackson "Blue Knuckles" Merchant Houses Death
Isabella Turner "Junior Bagels" Mole Painting Cellphones
Jameson Morrison Professional Cuddler Candles Tea
Angel Richards Veteran Rubber Bands Slippers
Connor Juarez Musician Rabbits Mirrors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).