The Director Welcomes You

The Pizza Calamity Incident

#ec5d1c

Location

Windless, Icy Vanuatu

Time of Day

22:54

Extraction Point

175 Miles NW

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Snoopers,
As you can see you are trapped inside approach a Underwater Jungle . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Three Beholder" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a dead fish at the Eye of Heaven". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Clean Scissor hidden on you.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Victor Knight

Alias

"Three Beholder"

Features

4' 5"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right eye

Organization

The Firm of Fit Tape

Emotions

Relaxed

Personality

Cautiously Lazy

Motive

Take over a government out of desperation

Bodyguard

Timmy the "Filthy Anteaters"

Physical Size

Immense

Story

Additional Locations

The Sweltering Acropolis

Deserted Mansion

Redemption Chateau

Random Events

Tramp Is throwing a protest

Baker Glistens gently

Cat Is under a curse

Cauldron Is being tortured

World

Stores

Lucas's Cabinet Bazaar

Payne's Flowers Growing Logistics

Guzman's Globe Ventures

Ramsey's Staircase Du jour

Traps

Rolling Rock

Lightning Bolt of Calamity

Objects

Cabinet that has been hollowed out

Globe children's replica

Secret Flowers Growing

Hidden Necklace

Sticks of Calamity

Wand of Wonder

Each day, caster is 40% likely to crave garlic intensely

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jesse Payne "Obese Toes" Merchant Batteries Painting
Jesus Guzman "No Tongues" Mole Mirrors Cooking
Samantha Mendez Master Distiller Syrup Soda
Lucas Harris Midwife Sailboats Lamps
Lilly Ramsey Fortune Cookie Writer Dinosaurs Plushies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).