The Director Welcomes You

The Wet Faucet Charade

#264c27

Location

Warm, Windless Croatia

Time of Day

10:25

Extraction Point

29 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Scrutinizers,
I have sent you to within earshot of a Expensive Palace to look for a suspect by the name "Stiff Orcs". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Serpents Nest".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Light Lighter in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Xavier Barber

Alias

"Stiff Orcs"

Features

7' 10"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Crotch

Organization

The Sorority of Elegant Corn

Emotions

Shocked

Personality

Actually Efficacious

Motive

Make a lot of money for scientific discovery

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Sadistic Sprite"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Wet Lake

Archaic Port

Good Spirits Sanctuary

Random Events

Panhandler Is throwing a BBQ

Wedding Cake Protests

Store Protests

Gunshot grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Eliana's Shoe Horn Consulting

Oliver's Marionette Atelier

Luna's Faberge Egg Emporium

Chambers's Diary Outlet

Traps

Flame Strike

Bear Trap of Perspiration

Objects

Shoe Horn made of heavy metal

Faberge Egg made of heavy metal

Secret Marionette

Hidden Hatchet

Frying Pan of Perspiration

Wand of Wonder

A local ruler is known to kill and eat 1d4 people each week

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Thomas Oliver "Short Pinky's" Merchant Snowglobes Flashlights
Ryder Luna "Golden Ankles" Mole Sticks Paper
Evan Jenkins Tailor Clocks Bells
Eliana Vaughn Psychiatrist Syrup Syrup
Aubree Chambers Actor Honey Rock n' Roll

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).