The Director Welcomes You

Who is Nicky Language?

#63182e

Location

Dark, Dry Guatemala

Time of Day

24:6

Extraction Point

181 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

19 Hours

Agents,
As you can see you are trapped inside enter a Hidden Shelter . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Four Gnome" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An out of place door appears at the Ghost Town". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Rusty Baking Tray hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Lorenzo Hampton

Alias

"Four Gnome"

Features

4' 9"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left arm

Organization

The Bunch of Mossy Arithmetic

Emotions

Insecure

Personality

Greedily Unsightly

Motive

Take over a country to become famous

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Feisty Golem"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Low Chateau

Abandoned Isle

Calming Lake

Random Events

Gallon of Trash skins a cat with his teeth

Building Is hurled at the adventurers

Reindeer Glistens gently

Buccaneer Is frozen into a block of ice

World

Stores

Trinity's Loveseat Couture

Bush's Loveseat Hole

Lynch's Suit of armor Boutique

Dean's Pipe Atelier

Traps

Collapsing Column

Incendiary Cloud of Power

Objects

Loveseat that is glowing

Suit of armor that has been hollowed out

Secret Loveseat

Hidden Sabre

Axe of Power

Wand of Wonder

Caster thinks that his brain will pop if he learns one more spell

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Max Bush "Fat Bones" Merchant Rocks Sailboats
Alice Lynch "Dull Fingers" Mole Chili Soap
Jose Long Police Officer Clocks Horses
Trinity Ramsey Electrician Slippers Attention
Arya Dean Railroad Conductor Butterflies Cookies

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).