The Director Welcomes You

Who is Crystal Temperature?

#74a5db

Location

Dull, Humid Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Time of Day

21:38

Extraction Point

105 Miles N

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Meddlers,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Key with a False bottom. Get to Saint Vincent and the Grenadines at 23:04

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

August Francis

Alias

"Black Cyclops"

Features

5' 11"

Blue eyes

A second belly button / Left eye

Organization

The League of Vast Trick

Emotions

Exasperated

Personality

Fortunately Incendiary

Motive

Make a lot of money to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Crystal the "Disruptive Mutants"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Clumsy Sanctuary

Crowded Carnival

Animosity Barn Dance

Random Events

Crowd Evades the law

Feminist Crashes slowly

Box of Cigarette Is frozen into a block of ice

Hoard Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Julianna's Key Mall

McDonald's Staircase Mall

Mendez's Cutting board Cosmetics

Fleming's Bench Supermarket

Traps

Burning Hands

Fusillade of Darts of Obliteration

Objects

Key with a False bottom

Cutting board that has been hollowed out

Secret Staircase

Hidden Throwing Dart

Gauntlet of Obliteration

Wand of Wonder

Target flies into a rage whenever he draws blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Hayden McDonald "Blue Heels" Merchant Honey Sailboats
Brantley Mendez "Cheap Arms" Mole Technology Comic Books
Allison Marquez Flirty Dolphins Jazz
Julianna Rose Art Therapist Deodorant Water
Jordan Fleming Cranky Trucks Candy

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).