The Director Welcomes You

Ogre, Whip, Fried Chicken, Spy.

#c5eddd

Location

Humid, Frigid Lithuania

Time of Day

4:31

Extraction Point

127 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

11 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside the bottom of a Polluted Grove . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Yellow Whale" is responsible and they sent us this message - "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Turtle Rock". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Feminine Armchair hidden on you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Isaac Knight

Alias

"Yellow Whale"

Features

6' 11"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Right middle finger

Organization

The League of Rotten Fried Chicken

Emotions

Proud

Personality

Solidly Millions

Motive

Take over a government to become rich

Bodyguard

Roberto the "Deafening Giraffe"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Stale Carousal

Compact Jungle

Enjoyment Fortress

Random Events

Chunk of Beef Integrates silently into the group

Musical Is frozen into a block of ice

Nearby Gas Tank meets disaster

Spectator Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Bryson's Oil Lamp Convenience store

Wong's Sculpture Couture

Kramer's Butter Churner Market

Leon's Mantle Specialities

Traps

Portcullis

Dropping Ceiling of Instability

Objects

Oil Lamp with a False bottom

Butter Churner that has been hollowed out

Secret Sculpture

Hidden Wrench

Credit Card of Instability

Wand of Wonder

Nearest river is now 1d4X as deep as it was this morning

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Dean Wong "Little Throats" Merchant Easter Comic Books
Ava Kramer "Bullet Spleens" Mole Soap Scarves
Harper Ingram Surveyor Television Deodorant
Bryson Delgado Plumber Sponges Houses
Mason Leon Broker Contracts Paper

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).