The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Mealy Spoon

#696390

Location

Overcast, Icy Cyprus

Time of Day

20:10

Extraction Point

69 Miles SE

Time to Complete

45 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside the top of a Bustling Citadel . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Fat Platypuses" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Eye of Heaven". Your mission was intelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Colorful Blender hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Kayden Brady

Alias

"Fat Platypuses"

Features

6' 1"

Hazel eyes

Large deep scar / Left arm

Organization

The Council of Horny Wilderness

Emotions

Love

Personality

Irritably Boned

Motive

Take over a government in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

David the "Ancient Kraken"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Mealy Arcade

Polluted Carousal

Fragility Peninsula

Random Events

Pine Branch drops from the sky

Chanting Cult Adopts a nearby child

Bunny Is throwing a protest

Leopard Is getting confiscated

World

Stores

Natalia's Trophy Du jour

Murphy's Faberge Egg Industries

Duncan's Doorway Discount

Lucas's Bell Creative

Traps

Blade Barrier

Crushing Room of Power

Objects

Trophy that has been hollowed out

Doorway that has been hollowed out

Secret Faberge Egg

Hidden Sabre

Fork of Power

Wand of Wonder

The ground now at target’s feet is soaked with blood

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jeremiah Murphy "Stiff Arms" Merchant Houses Limes
Xander Duncan "Four Knuckles" Mole Mirrors Contracts
Luna Walker Human Statue Hamsters Jigsaw Puzzles
Natalia Gregory Soul Octopus Sailboats
Brianna Lucas Phantom Lamps Washing Machines

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).