The Director Welcomes You

Frame, Nail, Wax, Spy.

#9301c4

Location

Dark, Breezy Slovenia

Time of Day

6:1

Extraction Point

67 Miles SW

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Snoopers,
It seems "Golden Porpoises" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dead fish at the Garden of Bears". We need you to eliminate them, Delightfully. Their last known location was recorded at 11:09. You have a Clandestine Toothbrush as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Maximus Hart

Alias

"Golden Porpoises"

Features

5' 5"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Left thumb

Organization

The Community of Freezing Wax

Emotions

Awkward

Personality

Delightfully Thousands

Motive

Take over a country to escape their destiny

Bodyguard

Harold the "Scaley Meerkat"

Physical Size

Limited

Story

Additional Locations

The Mealy Maze

Overpopulated Island

Destruction Tower

Random Events

Potato Is throwing a BBQ

Gypsy is robbed

Tramp Is hurled at the adventurers

Bag of Lemons Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Stella's Taxidermy animal Cosmetics

Howard's Stairwell Threads

Webster's Stamp Set Convenience store

Park's Ceramic Crock Properties

Traps

Ice lock

Swinging Block of Extermination

Objects

Taxidermy animal children's replica

Stamp Set that has been hollowed out

Secret Stairwell

Hidden Hammers

Camera of Extermination

Wand of Wonder

When target next spills blood, his weapon attacks him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Adeline Howard "Nice Toes" Merchant Physics Doors
Aliyah Webster "Violet Elbows" Mole Chocolate Video Games
Joel Howell Engineer Jazz Clocks
Stella Mendez Tailor Attention Attention
Abel Park Bounty hunter Cookies Bracelets

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).