The Director Welcomes You

The Limited Television Pilgrimmage

#926903

Location

Breezy, Cloudless Greece

Time of Day

12:28

Extraction Point

21 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to the outside of a Ancient Shelter to look for a suspect by the name "Drowsy Opossums". This mission is counterintelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A lone flower growing at the Hollow oak tree".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Glowing Hammer in your kit to help.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Dylan Norton

Alias

"Drowsy Opossums"

Features

4' 10"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Right leg

Organization

The Crew of Prickly Tongue

Emotions

Neglected

Personality

Curiously Howling

Motive

Take over a government out of desperation

Bodyguard

Jose the "Hirsute Sloth"

Physical Size

Petite

Story

Additional Locations

The Limited Circus

Abandoned Lake

Mania Park

Random Events

Fairy Balances on a ledge

Husband is heard screaming

Spectator drops from the sky

Horse Carriage runs over an infant

World

Stores

Wyatt's Taxidermy animal Ventures

Quinn's Platter Supermarket

Thomas's Glass Jars Bazaar

Pearson's Staircase Threads

Traps

Bricks from Ceiling

Large Net of Instability

Objects

Taxidermy animal that has been hollowed out

Glass Jars made of heavy metal

Secret Platter

Hidden Rapier

Necklace of Instability

Wand of Wonder

If target eats raw meat, he has visions of his own death

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Daniel Quinn "Drowsy Toes" Merchant Bread Rubber Bands
Mary Thomas "Wild Pretzels" Mole Cooking Sharp Things
Elliott Gill Restless Pillows Money
Wyatt Herrera Psychiatrist Singing Candy
Alexis Pearson Elevator Mechanic Houses Jazz

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).