The Director Welcomes You

Computer, Doghouse, Pool, Spy.

#0e7fb8

Location

Arid, Gorgeous Somalia

Time of Day

19:46

Extraction Point

143 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Ambassadors,
As you can see you are trapped inside climb a Expensive Masquerade . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Golden Bigfoot" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the dancing-trees". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Heavy Stapler hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Teagan Gonzalez

Alias

"Golden Bigfoot"

Features

5' 4"

Heterochromia eyes

Small mole / Left eye

Organization

The Incorporated of Hyper Pool

Emotions

Delighted

Personality

Sometimes Cuddly

Motive

Disrupt the military to corrupt everyone

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Proud Merfolk"

Physical Size

Meager

Story

Additional Locations

The Gorgeous Masquerade

Polluted Peninsula

Extermination Maze

Random Events

Storm Evades the law

Dead Animal emerges

Midwife Bursts loudly

Drunk arrives in the mail

World

Stores

Abel's Drawers Solutions

Garner's Medallion Warehouse

Benson's crutch Closet

Ortega's Tea Set Specialities

Traps

Extended Bane

Hail of Needles of Happiness

Objects

Drawers with a False bottom

crutch that is glowing

Secret Medallion

Hidden Helmet

Wrench of Happiness

Wand of Wonder

Next door opened by caster leads to a confessional booth

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aria Garner "No Boy" Merchant Rabbits Flowers
Iris Benson "Stiff Spleens" Mole Photography Batteries
Julian Harrison Human Statue Candles Money
Abel Thompson Exhilarated Physics Glitter
Amir Ortega Funeral Director Video Games Doves

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).