The Director Welcomes You

The Goat Freshness Incident

#5dbcc8

Location

Calm, Gloomy Jamaica

Time of Day

21:42

Extraction Point

156 Miles SEE

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Detectives,
As you can see you are trapped inside within earshot of a Expensive Lagoon . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Tough Mutants" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An out of place door appears at the Garden of Bears". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Dull Ballpoint Pen hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Edward Goodman

Alias

"Tough Mutants"

Features

5' 3"

Blue eyes

Large deep scar / Neck

Organization

The Fraternity of Tart Beast

Emotions

Embarrassed

Personality

Yearly Lazy

Motive

Take over a country to become rich

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Delightful Spirit"

Physical Size

Teeny

Story

Additional Locations

The Chubby Carnival

Overpopulated Business

Prosperity Park

Random Events

Vegetable overflows

Bottle of Soy Sauce emerges

Cauldron chase a suspect

Chanting Cult Bounces oddly

World

Stores

Peyton's Satchel Collective

Bowen's Taxidermy animal Mall

Baker's Hose Couture

Campbell's Creeping Vines Industries

Traps

Wall Blade

Bricks from Ceiling of Freshness

Objects

Satchel that is glowing

Hose that is glowing

Secret Taxidermy animal

Hidden Stave

Fork of Freshness

Wand of Wonder

All within 50 yards now have bright blue hair

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Rachel Bowen "Bullet Matzo Balls" Merchant Bread Essential Oils
Ariel Baker "Nice Pinky's" Mole Clocks Dinosaurs
Alexa Singh Funeral Director Ice Cubes Football
Peyton Chandler Musician Money Sharp Things
Henry Campbell Frustrated Technology Acorns

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).