The Director Welcomes You

The Media Disaster Protocol

#8e2dd7

Location

Gorgeous, Foul Libya

Time of Day

5:48

Extraction Point

10 Miles SW

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Snoopers,
We need your help. Agent Annabelle Gibson has gone missing and we believe "Bullet Wendigo" is responsible. They were last seen in Libya at 00:08. The agent sent one final message – "A stranger can be seen in the shadows at the ruined castle". Take this Mechanical Paint - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Joel Collins

Alias

"Bullet Wendigo"

Features

4' 11"

Gray eyes

Small mole / Right arm

Organization

The Community of Facetious Ape

Emotions

Amazed

Personality

Suddenly Broad

Motive

Take over a country fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Wide Giraffe"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Icy Park

Polluted Creek

Weakness Island

Random Events

Safe is heard screaming

Rustler Is being detained

Bottle of Soy Sauce Is being detained

Softball scurries by

World

Stores

Silas's Trinket Properties

White's Stool Collective

Harrison's Mantle Warehouse

Gibson's Pan Warehouse

Traps

Moving Executioner Statue

Wall Blade of Disaster

Objects

Trinket that has been hollowed out

Mantle that is glowing

Secret Stool

Hidden Spoon

Boiled Leather of Disaster

Wand of Wonder

All written text within 50 yards appears reversed in sunlight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mila White "Quiet Lemons" Merchant Jazz Sailboats
Luca Harrison "Italian Cheesecakes" Mole Flashlights Rabbits
Skylar Ortiz Stressed Cookies Shirts
Silas Jensen Phantom Plushies Soap
Annabelle Gibson Banker Socks Houses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).