The Director Welcomes You

Who is Tony Horse?

#ccde6f

Location

Stormy, Cool The Gambia

Time of Day

21:41

Extraction Point

141 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

8 Hours

Agents,
We need your help. Agent Isaac Daniels has gone missing and we believe "Meaty Rhinoceroses" is responsible. They were last seen in The Gambia at 08:04. The agent sent one final message – "A mysterious key is found on the ground at the Big Momma". Take this Angry Boot - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Roman Stanley

Alias

"Meaty Rhinoceroses"

Features

6' 2"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Left arm

Organization

The Bureau of Lemon Brunch

Emotions

Disgusted

Personality

Truly Brief

Motive

Disrupt the military fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Tony the "Wooden Sprite"

Physical Size

Shrimpy

Story

Additional Locations

The Bad Circus

Underground Barn Dance

Oblivion Sanctuary

Random Events

Pack of Wild Dogs Skips merrily

Fairy Attempts to rob a bank

Spice Box Ignites violently

Bottle of Soy Sauce Gets their hand chopped off

World

Stores

Khloe's Music Box Boutique

Duncan's Crock Group

Peters's Easel Cosmetics

Daniels's Bible Properties

Traps

Chain Lightning

Ray of Sickness of Perspiration

Objects

Music Box that is glowing

Easel with a False bottom

Secret Crock

Hidden Notebook

Wrench of Perspiration

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t be harmed by magical fire while standing in a bucket

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Tucker Duncan "Sharp Spleens" Merchant Tea Ice Cubes
Abigail Peters "Silver Stomachs" Mole Money Books
Nova Santiago Talent agent Shirts Jazz
Khloe Robinson Townsfolk Drinking Jazz
Isaac Daniels Indifferent Mirrors Trees

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).