The Director Welcomes You

Market Royale

#8419cb

Location

Gorgeous, Breezy Serbia

Time of Day

24:18

Extraction Point

78 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

4 Hours

Investigators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Bed with a False bottom. Get to Serbia at 20:19

Good Luck.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Guy Sanders

Alias

"Obese Manticore"

Features

4' 2"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Left thumb

Organization

The Fraternity of Polite Game

Emotions

Alienated

Personality

Doubtfully Didactic

Motive

Take over a government for honor

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Mysterious Opossums"

Physical Size

Cramped

Story

Additional Locations

The Obtuse Barn Dance

Pitch Black Island

Mania Maze

Random Events

Meteor Calls menacingly

Spice Box Adopts a nearby child

Safe is being loudly arrested

Delivery Guy Is being detained

World

Stores

Mateo's Bed Market

Fletcher's Desk Convenience store

Morgan's Bonsai Bureau

Diaz's Tea Pot Worldwide

Traps

Falling Block

Lightning Bolt of Passion

Objects

Bed with a False bottom

Bonsai that is glowing

Secret Desk

Hidden Camera

Watch of Passion

Wand of Wonder

Target’s mouth vanishes for 1d6 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Chase Fletcher "King Matzo Balls" Merchant Soccer Deodorant
Christopher Morgan "Heavy Cappuccinos" Mole Houses Chocolate
Brooke Garcia Frustrated Stickers Easter
Mateo Harris Banker Trees Paperclips
Brandon Diaz Pharmacist Acorns Slippers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).