The Director Welcomes You

The Curvy Endownment Protocol

#0e1932

Location

Windy, Frigid Sudan, South

Time of Day

20:38

Extraction Point

128 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

19 Hours

Spy Deputies,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Chaise children's replica. Get to Sudan, South at 16:13

Good Luck.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hadley Carter

Alias

"Stiff Hedgehogs"

Features

7' 11"

Brown eyes

Faint curved scar / Crotch

Organization

The Agency of Important Mass

Emotions

Cautious

Personality

Cleverly Deep

Motive

Take over a country to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Jerry the "Moist Hydra"

Physical Size

Immense

Story

Additional Locations

The Young Carnival

Polluted Isle

Indecision Lagoon

Random Events

Biscuit arrives in the mail

Gunshot Glistens gently

Gang Gets their hand chopped off

German Trench Club is robbed

World

Stores

Matteo's Chaise Worldwide

Wong's Tapestry Technologies

Castillo's Watch Brothers

Avila's Plaster Bust Group

Traps

Large Net

Bestow Curse of Endownment

Objects

Chaise children's replica

Watch made of heavy metal

Secret Tapestry

Hidden Pants

Spikes of Endownment

Wand of Wonder

Target asserts that he can cure disease and cast out demons

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Amy Wong "Cramped Eyes" Merchant Rabbits Water
Matteo Castillo "Tough Legs" Mole Eggs Hammers
Edward Buchanan Dietitian Rubber Bands Glitter
Matteo Peterson Intoxicated Robots Water
Lauren Avila Athlete Squirrels Painting

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).