The Director Welcomes You

Chic Chåteau Royale

#e8b6cc

Location

Icy, Rainy Liechtenstein

Time of Day

14:9

Extraction Point

176 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

23 Hours

Agents,
It seems "Drowsy Vampires" has gone level 6. They have been broadcasting this message "An object nearby starts bleeding at the hive". We need you to eliminate them, Daily. Their last known location was recorded at 19:00. You have a Glowing Mirror as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Charlotte Grant

Alias

"Drowsy Vampires"

Features

4' 3"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Left leg

Organization

The Authority of Fried Brunch

Emotions

Stunned

Personality

Daily Deafening

Motive

Disrupt the military to save humanity

Bodyguard

Al the "Bloody Sloth"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Quaint Reef

Compact Citadel

Death Castle

Random Events

Potato Is being tortured

Sewer Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Horse Carriage Finds gold in the water

Feminist emerges

World

Stores

Adrian's Paperweight Chic Chåteau

Williamson's Counter Outlet

Vaughn's Kitchen knife Wardrobe

Lowe's Landscape Group

Traps

Floor Net

Lightning Bolt of Ruin

Objects

Paperweight that has been hollowed out

Kitchen knife children's replica

Secret Counter

Hidden Notebook

Lighter of Ruin

Wand of Wonder

Caster is horribly afraid to use magic weapons in daylight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Aubrey Williamson "Cramped Brains" Merchant Whipped Cream Glass
Adeline Vaughn "Stiff Stomachs" Mole Butterflies Paper
Xander Miller Depressed Coffee Rubber Stamps
Adrian Walton Headhunter Chili Washing Machines
London Lowe Soul Lamps Baseball

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).