The Director Welcomes You

International Royale

#98f1b4

Location

Breezy, Balmy Uzbekistan

Time of Day

24:47

Extraction Point

139 Miles NEE

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
I have sent you to the outside of a Expensive Spring to look for a suspect by the name "No Imp". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A traveling merchant appears at the Dragon's Sea".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Sharp Ballpoint Pen in your kit to help.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Samantha Mendoza

Alias

"No Imp"

Features

7' 2"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left foot

Organization

The Brotherhood of Sticky Princess

Emotions

Scornful

Personality

Helplessly Plain

Motive

Take over a country justice for a wrong-doing

Bodyguard

Oscar the "Panicky Bigfoot"

Physical Size

Small-scale

Story

Additional Locations

The Childish Tower

Rundown Suburbs

Sanitation Reef

Random Events

Box of Mice Is under a curse

Crying Child arrives in the mail

Princess Lunges at the group

Amulet scurries by

World

Stores

Timothy's Sconce International

Ramirez's Taxidermy animal Convenience store

Norris's Mirror Worldwide

Bell's Toolbox Worldwide

Traps

Ice lock

Ray of Sickness of Happiness

Objects

Sconce that is glowing

Mirror that has been hollowed out

Secret Taxidermy animal

Hidden Glasses

Nipple Clamp of Happiness

Wand of Wonder

Target can’t use any magic items for 1d4 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Nathan Ramirez "Junior Knuckles" Merchant Sticky Notes Dice
Everly Norris "Black Knuckles" Mole Sun Glasses Toilets
Matteo Johnson Technician Paperclips Batteries
Timothy Gordon Counselor Essential Oils Toilets
Ezra Bell Surgeon Sticky Notes Glitter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).