The Director Welcomes You

Internet, Pastry, Community, Spy.

#35e5a7

Location

Icy, Chilly Senegal

Time of Day

23:21

Extraction Point

74 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Informants,
I have sent you to the outside of a Deserted Missile Launch Site to look for a suspect by the name "Silver Giraffe". This mission is black ops. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Wizard's Scar".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Slippery Camera in your kit to help.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Payton Robles

Alias

"Silver Giraffe"

Features

6' 6"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Right foot

Organization

The Bureau of Mealy Community

Emotions

Sorrow

Personality

Sweetly Consensual

Motive

Make a lot of money to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Carl the "Greasy Bear"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Important Reef

Pitch Black Jungle

Well-being City

Random Events

Baker grabs a lady's purse

Amulet Is under a curse

Nomad Salutes the adventurers

Box of Cigarette Skips merrily

World

Stores

Samuel's Paperweight Threads

Singh's Cabinet International

Patton's Pair of Statues Factory

Ellis's Brass Replica Arcade

Traps

Fireball

Lightning Bolt of Reservation

Objects

Paperweight with a False bottom

Pair of Statues with a False bottom

Secret Cabinet

Hidden Handcuffs

Shield of Reservation

Wand of Wonder

Next person nearby to speak is thrown into a deep well

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Presley Singh "Black Matzo Balls" Merchant Easter Cats
Michelle Patton "Mad Hot Dogs" Mole Lions Comic Books
Julia Wells Cobbler Video Games Snowglobes
Samuel Thompson Artist Mirrors Quartz Crystals
Mary Ellis Butcher Glitter Easter

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).