The Director Welcomes You

The Uranus Ice Incident

#431063

Location

Balmy, Overcast Paraguay

Time of Day

8:11

Extraction Point

10 Miles NW

Time to Complete

30 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Damian Chen has gone missing and we believe "Right Cockatrice" is responsible. They were last seen in Paraguay at 08:00. The agent sent one final message – "A shadow passes at the old bridge". Take this Glowing Balloon - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hudson Freeman

Alias

"Right Cockatrice"

Features

7' 7"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Crotch

Organization

The Association of Tangy Religion

Emotions

Hurt

Personality

Bravely Most

Motive

Disrupt the military because of grief and loss

Bodyguard

Johnny the "Sweltering Opossums"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Low Peninsula

Underwater City

Optimism Circus

Random Events

Buccaneer screams at the top of their lungs

Bard explodes

Sewer Is being kidnapped

German Trench Club Protests

World

Stores

Jordan's Goblet Cosmetics

Lane's Armoir Collective

Gomez's Key Threads

Chen's Iron stove Wardrobe

Traps

Poison Dart

Bricks from Ceiling of Ice

Objects

Goblet that is glowing

Key that has been hollowed out

Secret Armoir

Hidden Brass Knuckles

Hammers of Ice

Wand of Wonder

Target thinks that his weapon is intelligent and powerful

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Bella Lane "Quiet Fingers" Merchant Washing Machines Peanut Butter
Mya Gomez "Violet Legs" Mole Painting Gym Memberships
Kaleb Padilla Veterinarian Sponges Water
Jordan Cunningham Operator Christmas Soap
Damian Chen Exhausted Cats Notes

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).