The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Tragic Fish

#22a643

Location

Stormy, Hot South Africa

Time of Day

4:38

Extraction Point

125 Miles NE

Time to Complete

2 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Avery Brady has gone missing and we believe "Tough Basilisk" is responsible. They were last seen in South Africa at 23:12. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the witch's mound". Take this Bulbous Bikini - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Isaiah Wallace

Alias

"Tough Basilisk"

Features

4' 8"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Left hand

Organization

The Board of Dank Computer

Emotions

Confused

Personality

Reproachfully Miniature

Motive

Take over a country out of jealousy

Bodyguard

Tony the "Intelligent Aardvark"

Physical Size

Scanty

Story

Additional Locations

The Tragic Acropolis

Ancient Tower

Amnesia Jungle

Random Events

Baker Adopts a nearby child

Butter Shipment approaches

Bum Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Biscuit Is being detained

World

Stores

Julianna's Chair Supermarket

Valdez's Fireplace Group

Moss's Drawers Factory

Brady's Candlesticks Properties

Traps

Floor Net

Phantasmal Killer of Destiny

Objects

Chair with a False bottom

Drawers that has been hollowed out

Secret Fireplace

Hidden Katana

Falchion of Destiny

Wand of Wonder

Target thinks he’ll die unless the caster saves him

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Emerson Valdez "Green Noses" Merchant Lions Whipped Cream
Samuel Moss "Italian Elbows" Mole Sailboats Death
Athena Singh Sad Flashlights Jigsaw Puzzles
Julianna Perry Physician Sharks Mirrors
Avery Brady Paramedic Dolphins Contracts

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).