The Director Welcomes You

The Slime Darkness Protocol

#034faa

Location

Wet, Stormy Zambia

Time of Day

11:59

Extraction Point

125 Miles SSW

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside climb a Archaic Isle . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Big Spirit" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shrine is nearby at the Great Shadow". Your mission was black bag, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Light Lighter hidden on you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alexandra Chambers

Alias

"Big Spirit"

Features

6' 2"

Gray eyes

Large moles / Right hand

Organization

The company of Squeaking Manager

Emotions

Relaxed

Personality

Closely Bruised

Motive

Take over a country out of desperation

Bodyguard

Nick the "Hissing Hobgoblin"

Physical Size

Fat

Story

Additional Locations

The Cold Pond

Expensive Shelter

Annihilation Lodge

Random Events

Mutant Is throwing a protest

Midwife Is being detained

Bunny Attempts to rob a bank

Softball grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Ayden's Chaise Factory

Parker's Easel Logistics

Miranda's Tea Pot Beauty Stop

Roberts's Sculpture Warehouse

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Bricks from Ceiling of Darkness

Objects

Chaise that has been hollowed out

Tea Pot that is glowing

Secret Easel

Hidden Blindfold

Morning Star of Darkness

Wand of Wonder

Caster is wearing horseshoes

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Antonio Parker "Casual Dumplings" Merchant Water Chickens
Jaxon Miranda "Nice Churros" Mole Quartz Crystals Lions
Brooke Carter Master Distiller Plushies Drinking
Ayden White Angry Flashlights Rock n' Roll
Marcus Roberts Exhilarated Rubber Stamps Lipstick

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).