The Director Welcomes You

International Royale

#6f4cbf

Location

Dull, Wet Dominica

Time of Day

19:36

Extraction Point

173 Miles E

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Spy Deputies,
As you can see you are trapped inside within a Ancient Citadel . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Meaty child" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A lone flower growing at the Great Shadow". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Delicate Pencil hidden on you.

— The Messenger Pigeon you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Christopher Patton

Alias

"Meaty child"

Features

6' 8"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Left hand

Organization

The Commission of Plain Tongue

Emotions

Bored

Personality

Bravely Rhythmic

Motive

Disrupt the military to cause catastrophe

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Repulsive Succubus"

Physical Size

Full

Story

Additional Locations

The Acidic Crypt

Abandoned Jungle

Prosperity Tower

Random Events

Turtle Is accused by the law

Drunk Integrates silently into the group

Thief Crashes slowly

Water Vessel Strikes the church bell

World

Stores

Ian's Sconce International

Holland's Pan Specialities

Holt's Chaise Logistics

Sharp's Bookcase Factory

Traps

Crushing Room

Flooding Room of Passion

Objects

Sconce that is glowing

Chaise that is glowing

Secret Pan

Hidden Whip

Longsword of Passion

Wand of Wonder

After each spell, caster feels transcendent euphoria

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Silas Holland "Meaty Churros" Merchant Candles Soda
Charlie Holt "Meaty Hands" Mole Water Money
Allison Gibbs Vision Rubber Bands Television
Ian Saunders Indifferent Horses Pillows
Leilani Sharp Police Officer Bread Eggs

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).