The Director Welcomes You

Unlimited Royale

#00436e

Location

Icy, Icy Venezuela

Time of Day

1:0

Extraction Point

24 Miles NW

Time to Complete

27 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a End Table that is glowing. Get to Venezuela at 02:10

Good Luck.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Allison Stewart

Alias

"Red all-seeing eye"

Features

5' 6"

Red eyes

Large moles / Left hand

Organization

The Gang of Vast Flesh

Emotions

Melancholy

Personality

Limply Recessive

Motive

Take over a country for a love interest

Bodyguard

Sam the "White Giraffe"

Physical Size

Little

Story

Additional Locations

The Dazzling Forest

Abandoned Port

Reservation Manor

Random Events

Transport grabs a lady's purse

Majestic Painting catches on fire

Swarm of Bees Is under a curse

Chanting Cult scurries by

World

Stores

Stella's End Table Unlimited

Harmon's Portrait Unlimited

Bell's Trinket Collective

Sullivan's Kitchen table Worldwide

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Extended Bane of Indecision

Objects

End Table that is glowing

Trinket made of heavy metal

Secret Portrait

Hidden Scimitar

Blindfold of Indecision

Wand of Wonder

After each spell, caster is immune to missile fire for one round

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Madelyn Harmon "Italian Legs" Merchant Broccoli Batteries
Sophia Bell "Big Boy" Mole Fire Batteries
Eric Martin Shadow Photography Toilets
Stella Walsh Dead Tired Coffee Jazz
Caleb Sullivan Depressed Water Fire

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).