The Director Welcomes You

The Chili Euphoria Incident

#e0492f

Location

Balmy, Overcast Eswatini

Time of Day

7:38

Extraction Point

157 Miles SW

Time to Complete

13 Hours

Sleuths,
It seems "Casual Opossums" has gone level 3. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Screaming Waterfall". We need you to eliminate them, Abnormally. Their last known location was recorded at 11:11. You have a Soft Audio Cassette as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Vinyl record player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Angel Hughes

Alias

"Casual Opossums"

Features

5' 8"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Bunch of Colossal Cat

Emotions

Exhausted

Personality

Abnormally Calm

Motive

Disrupt the military for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Jimmy the "Petite Elves"

Physical Size

Big

Story

Additional Locations

The Careful Park

Overpopulated Creek

Weakness Island

Random Events

Vegetable Bounces oddly

Storm Skips merrily

Gunshot Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Spice Box Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Samantha's Diary Bureau

Webster's Oil Lamp Threads

Dominguez's Plaster Bust Supermarket

Bryant's Pedestal Couture

Traps

Portcullis

Ceiling Pendulum of Euphoria

Objects

Diary made of heavy metal

Plaster Bust made of heavy metal

Secret Oil Lamp

Hidden Greaves

File of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Target is suddenly sitting on an anthill, smeared with honey

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Ashton Webster "Violet Pretzels" Merchant Deodorant Drinking
Grace Dominguez "Mini Feet" Mole Drinking Chocolate
Madeline Hanson Weakened Eggs Limes
Samantha McCoy Butcher Cats Limes
Serenity Bryant Railroad Conductor Soda Bells

Cipher



                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    
 
                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

                
                

                    
                    

                


                

                    
                    

                

              

            

          

        

      

    



    
      
      
 
        

          

            
The Fuck Is This?

          

          

            
            
After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

            
            
It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out  my personal story notes.

            
            
This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

          

        

      

    


    
      
      
 
        

          

            
But how?

          

          
            
            The Most Important Rule
            
Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

            
            Set Up
            
Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

            
            Characters
            
90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance. 

            
            Rolling
            
This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again. 

            
            Dungeon Master
            
Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd. 

            
            Ending
            
No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).