The Director Welcomes You

The Fly Euthanasia Protocol

#ac8e40

Location

Foggy, Icy Sierra Leone

Time of Day

2:54

Extraction Point

184 Miles E

Time to Complete

36 Hours

Meddlers,
We need your help. Agent Arabella Vega has gone missing and we believe "Fat Manticore" is responsible. They were last seen in Sierra Leone at 00:01. The agent sent one final message – "A white horse dashes past at the Sacrificial Hole". Take this Rusty Belt - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Adaline Shelton

Alias

"Fat Manticore"

Features

6' 3"

Heterochromia eyes

Stretch Marks / Left foot

Organization

The Department of Sharp Increase

Emotions

Concern

Personality

Hastily Chubby

Motive

Take over a government to please their master

Bodyguard

Simon the "Green Wraith"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Bitter Reef

Touristy Acropolis

Silence Forge

Random Events

Drunk Is throwing a BBQ

Gallon of Trash Salutes the adventurers

Dancer skins a cat with his teeth

Donkey Skips merrily

World

Stores

Andrew's Shirt Market

McCormick's Creeping Vines Little shop

Ortiz's Faberge Egg Beauty Stop

Vega's Bottle Worldwide

Traps

Collapsing Column

Scything Blade of Euthanasia

Objects

Shirt that has been hollowed out

Faberge Egg that has been hollowed out

Secret Creeping Vines

Hidden Chastity Belt

Key of Euthanasia

Wand of Wonder

Target’s feet are now prehensile, but his hands are not

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Edward McCormick "White Muscles" Merchant Teeth Quartz Crystals
Chloe Ortiz "Plump Thumbs" Mole Houses Contracts
Esther Weber Spirit Physics Robots
Andrew Washington Stressed Octopus Batteries
Arabella Vega Hairdresser Balloons Doors

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).