The Director Welcomes You

Variety, Beggar, Stomach, Spy.

#d41a96

Location

Mild, Humid Slovakia

Time of Day

24:36

Extraction Point

87 Miles E

Time to Complete

15 Hours

Undercover Emissaries,
We need your help. Agent Tyler McGee has gone missing and we believe "All Goblins" is responsible. They were last seen in Slovakia at 11:05. The agent sent one final message – "An object nearby starts bleeding at the Snowy garrison". Take this Invisible Socks - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Alejandro James

Alias

"All Goblins"

Features

6' 11"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Right thumb

Organization

The Unit of Melted Stomach

Emotions

Curious

Personality

Slowly Freezing

Motive

Take over a country to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Tony the "Depressed Merfolk"

Physical Size

Trifling

Story

Additional Locations

The Sadistic Grove

Bustling Forge

Ruin Park

Random Events

Bard screams at the top of their lungs

Gunshot meets disaster

Pack of Wild Dogs Is accused by the law

Spice Box Is throwing a protest

World

Stores

Alexander's Trinket Convenience store

Phillips's Sink Chic Chåteau

Garner's Goblet Industries

McGee's Lounge Chair Boutique

Traps

Swinging Block

Rolling Rock of Downfall

Objects

Trinket children's replica

Goblet with a False bottom

Secret Sink

Hidden Collar

Fork of Downfall

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s head is permanently surrounded by dense fog

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Luis Phillips "Silver Legs" Merchant Dolphins Tissues
Micah Garner "Plump Arms" Mole Sharp Things Squirrels
Julia Robles Architect Bears Sharks
Alexander Fuller Fortune Cookie Writer Bells Lions
Tyler McGee Physician Flashlights Flashlights

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).