The Director Welcomes You

Warehouse Royale

#b91120

Location

Stormy, Rainy Gabon

Time of Day

8:36

Extraction Point

160 Miles SWW

Time to Complete

22 Hours

Shadows,
As you can see you are trapped inside underneathe a Crowded Masquerade . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "King Elephants" is responsible and they sent us this message - "An object nearby starts bleeding at the giants footsteps". Your mission was clandestine, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Beautiful Clock hidden on you.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Bennett Reynolds

Alias

"King Elephants"

Features

5' 10"

Green eyes

A second belly button / Right eye

Organization

The Board of Substantial Juice

Emotions

Aggravated

Personality

Generally Whispering

Motive

Take over a government for fear of the heroes

Bodyguard

Penelope the "Meaty Turtle"

Physical Size

Huge

Story

Additional Locations

The Melodic Island

Pitch Black Sanctuary

Doom Acropolis

Random Events

Safe Pulls on the coat tails of one of the adventurers

Chicken skins a cat with his teeth

Turtle Becomes wounded

Beggar Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Serenity's Candlesticks Warehouse

French's Ring Factory

Bailey's Pocket watch Worldwide

Berry's Cabinet Labs

Traps

Javelin

Black Tentacles of Endownment

Objects

Candlesticks that has been hollowed out

Pocket watch that has been hollowed out

Secret Ring

Hidden Bow

Rapier of Endownment

Wand of Wonder

One of target’s eyes migrates to the back of his head

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Leah French "White Scars" Merchant Bracelets Clocks
Avery Bailey "Drowsy Pinky's" Mole Water Contracts
Layla Higgins Journalist Soup Tissues
Serenity Christensen Artist Hamsters Squirrels
Arabella Berry Frazzled Sun Glasses Water

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).