The Director Welcomes You

Who is Juan Cough?

#eec327

Location

Sunny, Hot Nicaragua

Time of Day

16:32

Extraction Point

3 Miles NW

Time to Complete

7 Hours

Eyeballs,
I have sent you to approach a Deserted Private Jet plane to look for a suspect by the name "Silver Hyena". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to disable the bomb. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "Clouds develop quickly at the Field of Wildflowers".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Clandestine Quilt in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Brooke McGee

Alias

"Silver Hyena"

Features

7' 9"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Left thumb

Organization

The Board of Hissing Reward

Emotions

Adoration

Personality

Carefully Robust

Motive

Disrupt the military to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Juan the "Bruised Abominable Snowman"

Physical Size

Modest

Story

Additional Locations

The Hyper Island

Deserted Arcade

Purity Acropolis

Random Events

Bag of Lemons screams at the top of their lungs

Spectator strikes the ground

Midwife Is accused by the law

Vagabond meets disaster

World

Stores

Zoe's Large book Properties

Ball's Music Box Creative

Ryan's Mounted Animal Bazaar

Allen's Lipstick International

Traps

Extended Bane

Arrow of Endownment

Objects

Large book that has been hollowed out

Mounted Animal made of heavy metal

Secret Music Box

Hidden Cat

Sabre of Endownment

Wand of Wonder

Target’s weapon is replaced by an indestructible replica

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Iris Ball "Nice Scars" Merchant Candles Chili
Declan Ryan "Stiff Elbows" Mole Socks Teeth
Thomas Jensen Lawyer Painting Singing
Zoe Gomez Human Statue Doves Socks
Chloe Allen Demon Dice Basketball

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).