The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Prehensile Paste

#ee7515

Location

Chilly, Miserable Algeria

Time of Day

12:45

Extraction Point

200 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

48 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Bustling Citadel to look for a suspect by the name "Cramped Yeti". This mission is clandestine. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the witch's mound".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Soft Ballpoint Pen in your kit to help.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jack Sanders

Alias

"Cramped Yeti"

Features

7' 3"

Blue eyes

Stretch Marks / Right thumb

Organization

The Society of Jagged Clamp

Emotions

Scared

Personality

Justly Eager

Motive

Take over a government to please their master

Bodyguard

Charles the "Wooden Kraken"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Prehensile House

Deserted Lodge

Irritation Grove

Random Events

Dancer Is throwing a protest

Goblet Attempts to rob a bank

Beggar Protests

Box of Mice Is being kidnapped

World

Stores

Miles's Credenza Emporium

Myers's Tea Set Brothers

Dean's Wingback chair Factory

Murray's Sofa Specialities

Traps

Fireball

Burning Hands of Fate

Objects

Credenza that is glowing

Wingback chair that has been hollowed out

Secret Tea Set

Hidden Fork

Coif of Fate

Wand of Wonder

Each day, caster wakes certain that the world will end by sunset

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Michael Myers "Short Hearts" Merchant Easter Notes
Nathan Dean "Five Forearms" Mole Sticky Notes Mirrors
Caleb Dunn Ghost Squirrels Soda
Miles Hanson Scientist Paperclips Basketball
Michael Murray Exhilarated Chalk Sharp Things

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).