The Director Welcomes You

The Touch Calming Incident

#12f097

Location

Mild, Warm Luxembourg

Time of Day

16:15

Extraction Point

9 Miles NNE

Time to Complete

40 Hours

Examiners,
As you can see you are trapped inside the inside of a Ancient Mansion . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "Fast Bigfoot" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shadow passes at the Old battlefield". Your mission was counterintelligence, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Bulbous Bonsai Tree hidden on you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jack Daniel

Alias

"Fast Bigfoot"

Features

7' 9"

Blue eyes

Faint curved scar / Right foot

Organization

The Board of Panicky Kick

Emotions

Guilty

Personality

Greedily Mannered

Motive

Take over a country for pure destruction

Bodyguard

Prince the "Robust Abominable Snowman"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Moldy Citadel

Underwater Spring

Expiration Palace

Random Events

Swarm of Bees catches on fire

Water Vessel grabs a lady's purse

Crying Child Is throwing a BBQ

Building grabs a lady's purse

World

Stores

Hayden's Crate Couture

Stevenson's Bed Specialities

Cross's Stairwell Cosmetics

Gordon's Rug Boutique

Traps

Chain Lightning

Acid Arrow of Calming

Objects

Crate that has been hollowed out

Stairwell with a False bottom

Secret Bed

Hidden Banana

Pike of Calming

Wand of Wonder

People who meet target for the first time think he’s a murderer

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Kevin Stevenson "Tough Stomachs" Merchant Water Broccoli
Giovanni Cross "Orange Livers" Mole Writers Chickens
Kaleb Curtis Farmer Dinosaurs Rubber Stamps
Hayden Figueroa Envious Dinosaurs Baseball
Brayden Gordon Acupuncturist Sharp Things Trucks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).