The Director Welcomes You

Paste, Soiree, Slime, Spy.

#7f6e42

Location

Chilly, Stormy Congo, Republic of the

Time of Day

23:13

Extraction Point

105 Miles SSE

Time to Complete

26 Hours

Operatives,
I have sent you to descend into Ancient Water Park to look for a suspect by the name "Junior Humanoid". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve their missile codes. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Apple Orchard".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Bulbous Hammock in your kit to help.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Cora Barton

Alias

"Junior Humanoid"

Features

7' 6"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Right eye

Organization

The Guild of Rare Slime

Emotions

Happy

Personality

Keenly Efficacious

Motive

Disrupt the military to please their master

Bodyguard

Sam the "Revolting Whale"

Physical Size

Vast

Story

Additional Locations

The Evasive Suburbs

Pitch Black Pond

Vulnerability Sanctuary

Random Events

Softball Lunges at the group

German Trench Club scurries by

Renaissance Faire Integrates silently into the group

Panhandler scurries by

World

Stores

Isaac's Globe Outlet

Hawkins's Certificate Beauty Stop

Schneider's Portrait Chic Chåteau

Munoz's Portrait Couture

Traps

Built-to-Collapse Wall

Ghoul Touch of Irritation

Objects

Globe that is glowing

Portrait that has been hollowed out

Secret Certificate

Hidden Fork

Credit Card of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Caster sprouts a tiny horn from the tip of his nose

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Natalia Hawkins "Five Fingers" Merchant Money Chickens
Carson Schneider "Mini Pretzels" Mole Photography Sticks
Maddox Richardson Exhausted Soup Octopus
Isaac Mason Envious Honey Physics
Kaiden Munoz Surveyor Hamsters Sharp Things

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).