The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Depressed Buttplug

#1cdd9a

Location

Bright, Bright Mexico

Time of Day

3:20

Extraction Point

135 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

47 Hours

Ambassadors,
It seems "Red Kaiju" has gone level 7. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a dollar on the ground at the Dragon's Sea". We need you to eliminate them, Weakly. Their last known location was recorded at 06:02. You have a Feminine Bottle as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Charlotte Bowen

Alias

"Red Kaiju"

Features

6' 9"

Heterochromia eyes

Large moles / Right middle finger

Organization

The Bunch of Jocular Growth

Emotions

Hurt

Personality

Weakly Echoing

Motive

Make a lot of money to save humanity

Bodyguard

Alex the "Defeated Dragon"

Physical Size

Insignificant

Story

Additional Locations

The Depressed Peninsula

Crowded Creek

Well-being Carnival

Random Events

Feminist Spontaneously disintegrates

German Trench Club Is being kidnapped

Bum Becomes wounded

Midwife Calls menacingly

World

Stores

Penelope's Candle Brothers

Johnston's Easel Beauty Stop

Santiago's Landscape Unlimited

Hogan's Spice shelf Beauty Stop

Traps

Beehive

Burning Hands of Euphoria

Objects

Candle that is glowing

Landscape with a False bottom

Secret Easel

Hidden Crossbow

Nipple Clamp of Euphoria

Wand of Wonder

Target’s skin is permanently crisscrossed with fine lines

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Mckenzie Johnston "Two Spleens" Merchant Clocks Sharp Things
Claire Santiago "Nice Livers" Mole Jazz Trees
Catherine Moody Bounty hunter Sponges Children's Stories
Penelope Garner Surgeon Chocolate Mirrors
Isabella Hogan Angry Rock n' Roll Chalk

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).