The Director Welcomes You

The Hot Ball Errand

#b4629b

Location

Gorgeous, Overcast Seychelles

Time of Day

2:28

Extraction Point

68 Miles W

Time to Complete

10 Hours

Agents,
I have sent you to circle a Abandoned Labratory to look for a suspect by the name "Blue gorgon". This mission is anti-surveillance. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to retrieve the stolen intel. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "A vagrant asks for food at the Golden Fire".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Delicate Wrench in your kit to help.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Morgan Gardner

Alias

"Blue gorgon"

Features

4' 10"

Brown eyes

Large deep scar / Right thumb

Organization

The Alliance of Unimportant Cemetery

Emotions

Worried

Personality

Frenetically Prehensile

Motive

Take over a government out of survival

Bodyguard

David the "Brave Siren"

Physical Size

Lanky

Story

Additional Locations

The Hot Fortress

Bustling Pond

Irritation Grove

Random Events

Dracula Is hurled at the adventurers

Turtle Is hurled at the adventurers

Chicken Is being tortured

Drunk Is throwing a BBQ

World

Stores

Finley's Canopy Bed Cosmetics

Reyes's Bench Beauty Stop

Smith's Flower in Vase Chic Chåteau

Meyer's Spice shelf Group

Traps

Scything Blade

Bear Trap of Instability

Objects

Canopy Bed with a False bottom

Flower in Vase that has been hollowed out

Secret Bench

Hidden Pike

Chastity Belt of Instability

Wand of Wonder

All reflective surfaces in the area display imaginary scenes

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Payton Reyes "Mad Brains" Merchant Soda Trucks
Nicole Smith "Left Dumplings" Mole Rubber Stamps Sponges
Adaline Washington Hotel Manager Balloons Syrup
Finley Porter Headhunter Singing Scarves
Jeremy Meyer Engineer Rabbits Batteries

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).