The Director Welcomes You

The Puddle Death Protocol

#e0ac5f

Location

Overcast, Stormy Slovenia

Time of Day

13:14

Extraction Point

28 Miles SW

Time to Complete

38 Hours

Silent Negotiators,
As you can see you are trapped inside circle a Desolate Maze . We almost couldn't find you — Please explain when you get back. All we know is "No Chimera" is responsible and they sent us this message - "A shrine is nearby at the Painted Sands". Your mission was black ops, achieve what you can.

Hopefully you still have that Fluffy Battery hidden on you.

— The Tinder Date you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Autumn Peters

Alias

"No Chimera"

Features

4' 6"

Brown eyes

A second belly button / Neck

Organization

The company of Prickly Bubble

Emotions

Calm

Personality

Happily Skinny

Motive

Disrupt the military in pursuit of knowledge

Bodyguard

Tiffany the "Swollen Armadillo"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Juicy Grove

Ancient Fortress

Doom Acropolis

Random Events

Prostitute Skips merrily

Hound Bounces oddly

Building is heard screaming

Swarm of Bees Bursts loudly

World

Stores

Karter's Grandfather Clock Worldwide

Weaver's File Hole

Stevenson's Landscape Closet

Hodges's Satchel Boutique

Traps

Fusillade of Darts

Fire of Death

Objects

Grandfather Clock with a False bottom

Landscape that has been hollowed out

Secret File

Hidden Rock

Key of Death

Wand of Wonder

Caster is inclined to attack any who offer him magical healing

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Camden Weaver "Big Falafels" Merchant Toilets Music
Victoria Stevenson "No Fingers" Mole Snowglobes Drinking
Jayden Sullivan Townsfolk Easter Bears
Karter Flores Intoxicated Soda Sticky Notes
Londyn Hodges Depressed Whipped Cream Sticks

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).