The Director Welcomes You

The Kiss Stealth Incident

#a5a896

Location

Rainy, Stormy New Zealand

Time of Day

14:2

Extraction Point

32 Miles E

Time to Complete

29 Hours

Informants,
It seems "Left Pegasus" has gone level 8. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Hollow oak tree". We need you to eliminate them, Painfully. Their last known location was recorded at 15:19. You have a Mechanical Spoon as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Bailey Garza

Alias

"Left Pegasus"

Features

6' 6"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Left arm

Organization

The Bunch of Feisty Thumb

Emotions

Caring

Personality

Painfully Cooling

Motive

Make a lot of money to inspire a rebellion

Bodyguard

Nicky the "Regal Minotaur"

Physical Size

Massive

Story

Additional Locations

The Hollow Jungle

Polluted Tower

Downfall Island

Random Events

Chauvinist Catches leprosy

Corncob drops from the sky

Chanting Cult Ignites violently

Bottle of Soy Sauce Balances on a ledge

World

Stores

Alyssa's Shoe Horn International

Arnold's Credenza Ventures

Saunders's Pocket watch Collective

Thomas's Credenza Outlet

Traps

Rolling Rock

Chain Lightning of Stealth

Objects

Shoe Horn with a False bottom

Pocket watch with a False bottom

Secret Credenza

Hidden Collar

Lipstick of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

Any missile fired by caster is 10% likely to vanish in flight

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jackson Arnold "Small Hearts" Merchant Soda Doves
Samuel Saunders "Slow Lemons" Mole Soda Writers
Kennedy Tate Dentist Technology Rocks
Alyssa Jimenez Dietitian Cartography Football
Samuel Thomas Frazzled Rubber Bands Children's Stories

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).