The Director Welcomes You

Mall Royale

#2fa3a4

Location

Calm, Bright Lesotho

Time of Day

0:50

Extraction Point

191 Miles N

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Sleuths,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Trophy with a False bottom. Get to Lesotho at 10:07

Good Luck.

— The Tablet of Stone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Charlie Hammond

Alias

"Wild gorgon"

Features

7' 5"

Red eyes

Faint curved scar / Right middle finger

Organization

The Society of Salmon Bat

Emotions

Nervous

Personality

Truthfully Faithful

Motive

Take over a country to lead a mutiny

Bodyguard

Sam the "Chewy Camel"

Physical Size

Puny

Story

Additional Locations

The Scruffy Isle

Bustling Crypt

Stealth Barn Dance

Random Events

Wanderer Strikes the church bell

Cat overflows

Majestic Painting grabs a lady's purse

Mutant Protests

World

Stores

Isla's Trophy Mall

Schwartz's Ring Collective

Moreno's Sink Unlimited

Nichols's Pipe Bazaar

Traps

Beehive

Incendiary Cloud of Influence

Objects

Trophy with a False bottom

Sink that is glowing

Secret Ring

Hidden Club

Book of Influence

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s body appears to have been shredded and reassembled

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jaxson Schwartz "Blue Knuckles" Merchant Slippers Cookies
Julianna Moreno "Three Dumplings" Mole Soap Lions
Ariana Terry Veterinarian Honey Sponges
Isla Torres Broker Hammers Video Games
Roman Nichols Professional Cuddler Boxes Houses

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).