The Director Welcomes You

The Sasquatch Irritation Protocol

#048ab3

Location

Hot, Windless Cyprus

Time of Day

3:37

Extraction Point

194 Miles E

Time to Complete

24 Hours

Eyeballs,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Tea Set that has been hollowed out. Get to Cyprus at 18:15

Good Luck.

— The Microsoft Zune you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Miguel Green

Alias

"Silver Lion"

Features

7' 1"

Gray eyes

Faint curved scar / Left leg

Organization

The Order of Microscopic Rum

Emotions

Happy

Personality

Dimly Dank

Motive

Make a lot of money to please their master

Bodyguard

Simon the "Sovereign Sloth"

Physical Size

Microscopic

Story

Additional Locations

The Mecha Jungle

Hidden Mansion

Laughter Castle

Random Events

Bear Skips merrily

Diary Protests

Chunk of Beef catches on fire

Vagrant Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Katherine's Tea Set Worldwide

Garza's Kitchen knife Convenience store

Gomez's Flowers Growing Beauty Stop

Ray's Coat Creative

Traps

Bestow Curse

Razor-Wire across Hallway of Irritation

Objects

Tea Set that has been hollowed out

Flowers Growing that has been hollowed out

Secret Kitchen knife

Hidden Diary

Magazine of Irritation

Wand of Wonder

Caster is rumored to have paid orcs to perform unseemly services

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Luca Garza "Casual Boy" Merchant Dolphins Octopus
Theodore Gomez "Black Heels" Mole Stickers Rocks
Samuel Haynes Townsfolk Houses Gym Memberships
Katherine Mclaughlin Shadow Stickers Whipped Cream
Jonah Ray Veterinarian Glass Cousins

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).