The Director Welcomes You

The Bong Stealth Protocol

#6ced46

Location

Stormy, Arid Vietnam

Time of Day

8:10

Extraction Point

59 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Detectives,
We need your help. Agent Guy Herrera has gone missing and we believe "Meaty Leech" is responsible. They were last seen in Vietnam at 19:24. The agent sent one final message – "A shrine is nearby at the Boneyard". Take this Mechanical Spoon - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Henry Ray

Alias

"Meaty Leech"

Features

4' 6"

Amber eyes

Large deep scar / Right foot

Organization

The Committee of Drab Oatmeal

Emotions

Helpless

Personality

Officially Round

Motive

Make a lot of money to achieve their destiny

Bodyguard

Harrison the "Obnoxious Worm"

Physical Size

Miniature

Story

Additional Locations

The Sinful Grove

Overpopulated Lodge

Fate Port

Random Events

Ninja strikes the ground

Bellhop explodes

Renaissance Faire Integrates silently into the group

Milk Shipment Lunges at the group

World

Stores

King's Credenza Warehouse

Parsons's Marionette Ventures

Townsend's Trunk Chic Chåteau

Herrera's Landscape Mall

Traps

Black Tentacles

Dropping Ceiling of Stealth

Objects

Credenza with a False bottom

Trunk with a False bottom

Secret Marionette

Hidden Magazine

Nipple Clamp of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

Target’s clothes exude fragrant smoke for 1d4 weeks

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Joseph Parsons "Dull Boy" Merchant Chickens Sharks
Callie Townsend "Plump Pastrami's" Mole Oranges Oranges
Stella Horton Old Timer Octopus Harmonica
King Howard Police Officer Children's Stories Doors
Guy Herrera Envious Technology Video Games

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).