The Director Welcomes You

Operation — Fit Knowledge

#fb5b9d

Location

Dry, Bright Guyana

Time of Day

23:51

Extraction Point

70 Miles N

Time to Complete

1 Hours

Snoopers,
I have sent you to be locked inside of a Archaic Sanctuary to look for a suspect by the name "Meaty Opossums". This mission is intelligence. Their recent activity is concerning and we need you to assassinate the target. We don't know much about their goals but we've intercepted this cryptic message – "The group finds a random cow at the ruined castle".

We're low budget this mission – I've packed a Glowing Paint in your kit to help.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Easton Ferguson

Alias

"Meaty Opossums"

Features

4' 6"

Blue eyes

Small mole / Left foot

Organization

The Guild of Stoned Politician

Emotions

Love

Personality

Usually Great

Motive

Make a lot of money for honor

Bodyguard

Donald the "Bad Porpoises"

Physical Size

Great

Story

Additional Locations

The Fit Villa

Touristy Suburbs

Annihilation City

Random Events

Hoard drops from the sky

Rhapsody is heard screaming

Woman emerges

Crazy Man runs over an infant

World

Stores

Isabella's Grandfather Clock Creative

Roberts's Painting Wardrobe

Guzman's Canopy Bed Bazaar

Wallace's Pair of Statues Emporium

Traps

Crushing Room

Poison Needle of Stealth

Objects

Grandfather Clock with a False bottom

Canopy Bed that is glowing

Secret Painting

Hidden Magazine

Boiled Leather of Stealth

Wand of Wonder

Target looks like a photo-negative for 1d4 days

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Angel Roberts "Silver Hot Dogs" Merchant Honey Chocolate
Juliana Guzman "Three Toes" Mole Money Oranges
Dawson Goodwin Pharmacist Chalk Hammers
Isabella Manning Vision Hammers Candy
Ryder Wallace Actor Technology Television

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).