The Director Welcomes You

The Quickly Shitty Agent

#5c89d4

Location

Windless, Icy Vanuatu

Time of Day

23:44

Extraction Point

136 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

28 Hours

Examiners,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Footlocker children's replica. Get to Vanuatu at 08:06

Good Luck.

— The Portable Radio you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Hudson Campos

Alias

"Green Imp"

Features

7' 1"

Heterochromia eyes

A second belly button / Right foot

Organization

The Bureau of Quick Erection

Emotions

Calm

Personality

Quickly Aggressive

Motive

Disrupt the military fueled by conspiracy

Bodyguard

Jack the "Hyper all-seeing eye"

Physical Size

Full-grown

Story

Additional Locations

The Shitty Chateau

Underground Mansion

Peace Shelter

Random Events

Bag of Lemons Is under a curse

Dead Animal screams at the top of their lungs

Spectator is robbed

Goblet emerges

World

Stores

Leo's Footlocker Productions

Wolfe's Clamp Warehouse

Gross's Bicycle Industries

Graves's Suit of armor Closet

Traps

Tripping Chain

Phantasmal Killer of Imperfection

Objects

Footlocker children's replica

Bicycle children's replica

Secret Clamp

Hidden Rapier

Collar of Imperfection

Wand of Wonder

When caster next enters his home, he’s blinded for 4d12 hours

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Brantley Wolfe "Indigo Livers" Merchant Lipstick Essential Oils
Alejandro Gross "Yellow Scars" Mole Books Trees
Mckenzie Conner Elevator Mechanic Technology Shirts
Leo Robbins Old Timer Attention Football
Ian Graves Restless Limes Harmonica

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).