The Director Welcomes You

The Turbulent Purse Crisis

#d4cf88

Location

Gorgeous, Windless Botswana

Time of Day

14:7

Extraction Point

30 Miles NWW

Time to Complete

41 Hours

Meddlers,
It seems "Violet Nymph" has gone level 10. They have been broadcasting this message "Tracks of wolves can be seen at the dancing-trees". We need you to eliminate them, Upright. Their last known location was recorded at 08:02. You have a Dull Chewing Gum as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The CD player you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Dean McCoy

Alias

"Violet Nymph"

Features

6' 9"

Green eyes

Large deep scar / Right leg

Organization

The Committee of Avian Gladiator

Emotions

Depressed

Personality

Upright Prehistoric

Motive

Take over a government because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

George the "Chewy Turtle"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Turbulent Jungle

Desolate Chateau

Freshness Lake

Random Events

Thief Skips merrily

Bellhop Protests

Druid Is hurled at the adventurers

Fairy Evades the law

World

Stores

Amir's Pocket watch Ventures

Sharp's Taxidermy animal Supermarket

Walker's Glass Jars Threads

Grant's Metal chair Group

Traps

Chain Lightning

Built-to-Collapse Wall of Delight

Objects

Pocket watch that is glowing

Glass Jars children's replica

Secret Taxidermy animal

Hidden Lipstick

Glasses of Delight

Wand of Wonder

All cloth within 50 yards smolders and smokes until dawn

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Cole Sharp "Dull Boy" Merchant Coffee Chili
Jesse Walker "The Lemons" Mole Technology Octopus
Jade Sharp The Body Lamps Children's Stories
Amir Mendoza Architect Rubber Bands Oranges
Aaron Grant Annoyed Sticky Notes Stickers

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).