The Director Welcomes You

Boutique Royale

#86f48f

Location

Gloomy, Gorgeous United Kingdom

Time of Day

1:35

Extraction Point

95 Miles E

Time to Complete

5 Hours

Agents,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Bible that has been hollowed out. Get to United Kingdom at 13:13

Good Luck.

— The iPod you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jeremiah Molina

Alias

"Sharp Platypuses"

Features

7' 10"

Red eyes

Stretch Marks / Right leg

Organization

The Committee of Chubby Pancake

Emotions

Exasperated

Personality

Loudly Eager

Motive

Take over a government to better Humanity

Bodyguard

Bobby the "Magnificent Werewolf"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Thoughtless Arcade

Polluted Reef

Casualties Citadel

Random Events

Midwife Gets their hand chopped off

Skeleton Skips merrily

Bum Glistens gently

Lactose Intolerance skins a cat with his teeth

World

Stores

Arabella's Bible Boutique

Berry's Sofa Brothers

Jones's Faberge Egg Productions

Mejia's Mounted Animal Unlimited

Traps

Bestow Curse

Swinging Block of Extinction

Objects

Bible that has been hollowed out

Faberge Egg that has been hollowed out

Secret Sofa

Hidden Nipple Clamp

Soy Sauce Packet of Extinction

Wand of Wonder

Any magical seals or locks within one mile are negated

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Diego Berry "Red Noses" Merchant Sharp Things Soap
Scarlett Jones "Silver Knuckles" Mole Potatoes Slippers
Mason Jimenez Elevator Mechanic Jigsaw Puzzles Toilets
Arabella Fields Librarian Sharp Things Lions
Dominic Mejia Shadow Chocolate Honey

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).