The Director Welcomes You

Arcade Royale

#0b4f58

Location

Sunny, Breezy Korea, North

Time of Day

10:47

Extraction Point

111 Miles W

Time to Complete

43 Hours

Shadows,
This week should be easy. You are delivering a Coat of Arms with a False bottom. Get to Korea, North at 17:02

Good Luck.

— The Tape recorder you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Jonah Fields

Alias

"Little Opossums"

Features

5' 11"

Hazel eyes

Faint curved scar / Right hand

Organization

The Department of Wrong Country

Emotions

Optimistic

Personality

Searchingly Tiny

Motive

Make a lot of money to save humanity

Bodyguard

Jackie the "Colossal Siren"

Physical Size

Slight

Story

Additional Locations

The Loquacious Acropolis

Pitch Black Masquerade

Purity Castle

Random Events

Tramp Bounces oddly

Drunk Skips merrily

Baker Balances on a ledge

Donkey stop the party and asks questions

World

Stores

King's Coat of Arms Arcade

Parsons's Letter Opener Technologies

Hodges's Mantle Outlet

Sanchez's Lamp Couture

Traps

Portcullis

Lightning Bolt of Rage

Objects

Coat of Arms with a False bottom

Mantle that is glowing

Secret Letter Opener

Hidden Chastity Belt

Chewing Gum of Rage

Wand of Wonder

The Burst only affects males; roll for the underlying effect

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Levi Parsons "Five Bones" Merchant Tissues Doves
Bailey Hodges "Right Bones" Mole Clocks Butterflies
Ariana Austin Cosmetologist Syrup Candy
King Meyer Cosmetologist Teeth Syrup
Dean Sanchez Chief Executive Officer Soccer Drinking

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).