The Director Welcomes You

The Feisty Cabbage Cryptogram

#dc7788

Location

Frigid, Gorgeous Estonia

Time of Day

22:7

Extraction Point

75 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

20 Hours

Investigators,
We need your help. Agent Maya Young has gone missing and we believe "Little Serpent" is responsible. They were last seen in Estonia at 11:15. The agent sent one final message – "Distant sounds of screaming at the Tempest". Take this Bulbous Vise - it was their favorite tool and might help you.

— The Burner Phone you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Fiona Barker

Alias

"Little Serpent"

Features

6' 10"

Hazel eyes

Small mole / Right middle finger

Organization

The Alliance of Hallowed Exam

Emotions

Proud

Personality

Upwardly Rabid

Motive

Take over a country because of a betrayal

Bodyguard

Christopher the "Good Dragon"

Physical Size

Minuscule

Story

Additional Locations

The Feisty Manor

Underground Lake

Cleanliness Spring

Random Events

Nearby Gas Tank grabs a lady's purse

Bear skins a cat with his teeth

Pickpocket Is being kidnapped

Chanting Cult Lunges at the group

World

Stores

Nathan's Mural Beauty Stop

McBride's Mirror Labs

Washington's Rubber Plant Mall

Young's Skeletal Animal Solutions

Traps

Insanity Mist Vapor

Fusillade of Darts of Bravery

Objects

Mural that is glowing

Rubber Plant with a False bottom

Secret Mirror

Hidden Falchion

Bow of Bravery

Wand of Wonder

Each day, someone accuses the caster or regicide

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Isaac McBride "Plump Lemons" Merchant Teeth Deodorant
Melody Washington "One Parmigianas" Mole Socks Flashlights
Marcus Miranda Broker Robots Cookies
Nathan Parsons Annoyed Coffee Lions
Maya Young Acupuncturist Technology Video Games

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).