The Director Welcomes You

Week, Society, Earrings, Spy.

#bf7815

Location

Dry, Wet Finland

Time of Day

3:26

Extraction Point

71 Miles NNW

Time to Complete

32 Hours

Examiners,
It seems "Fast Golem" has gone level 5. They have been broadcasting this message "The group finds a sword in a stone at the Stone Circle". We need you to eliminate them, Nervously. Their last known location was recorded at 13:03. You have a Fluffy Camera as a last resort. Use carefully.

— The Origami Swan you were holding self destructs.

The Villain Dossier

Name

Easton Paul

Alias

"Fast Golem"

Features

7' 4"

Red eyes

Small mole / Left eye

Organization

The Office of Bald Earrings

Emotions

Disturbed

Personality

Nervously Loud

Motive

Make a lot of money for sibling rivalry

Bodyguard

Prince the "Tasteless Camel"

Physical Size

Tremendous

Story

Additional Locations

The High Suburbs

Overpopulated Isle

Ice Jungle

Random Events

Nearby Gas Tank Is accused by the law

Vegetable runs over an infant

Hoard is being loudly arrested

Vagabond Attempts to rob a bank

World

Stores

Gracie's Taxidermy animal Properties

Henry's Hat Beauty Stop

Kelley's Figurine Industries

Cooper's Statuette Warehouse

Traps

Flame Strike

Bear Trap of Purity

Objects

Taxidermy animal with a False bottom

Figurine that is glowing

Secret Hat

Hidden Notebook

Lighter of Purity

Wand of Wonder

Caster’s feet are encased in brick

People

Name Codename Career Likes Dislikes
Jaxon Henry "Left Pinky's" Merchant Tea Sticks
Esther Kelley "Obese Ribs" Mole Pillows Hamsters
Aria Myers Firefighter Oranges Eggs
Gracie Cummings Judge Cooking Toilets
Alina Cooper Sad Squirrels Jazz

Cipher



                

                
 
                

                

                

                

                

                

The Fuck Is This?

After years of playing Dungeons & Dragons, I decided to make a variation where everything is improv. The DM knows as much as the players and you tell a story together - sitcom style. We use this site as a quest starter, think of some characters, and see how much we can make each other laugh.

It's designed to be simple, portable, and dependent on being creative & inventive. I wanted a framework to guide the plot forward but let us find the story. This page is just a guide to help the stories become too redundant - take as much as you want, ignore as much as you need. If you want to follow along with our adventures or read some examples, check out my personal story notes.

This concept and site was crafted by Andrew Maruska with linguistic help from Evan Stark

But how?

The Most Important Rule

Be Silly. The goal is to laugh not to have a normal adventure. Someone wants to go to the moon? Fuck yeah they do and we're going to do it with medieval technology.

Set Up

Give the players a home base, a year they want to play in, and some general ownership of the setup. It's more successful when everyone has helped create the world because when a player makes suggestions it's easier to integrate them without feeling too precious. It helps to have a figurehead that assigns the quest to authoritatively start.

Characters

90% of creating a character here is a funny voice you're forced to talk in for 3 hours. I typically have people pick one trait they want to be good at and give them a slight advantage when using that - and the same for a negative trait. Don't overcomplicate it. They wanna be a skateboarder who can't feel love? perfect. +2 to cool & -2 to social acceptance.

Rolling

This can be whatever you want but as a general rule I use d20's as a graded scale. Sometimes, I craft the roll to mimic the action i.e. if they are walking a tight rope then might need to roll a 10 because 20 & 1 make them fall to one side or the other. Rolling in D&D got boring so make it fun again.

Dungeon Master

Your goal is to say 'Yes and...' but realistically it's 'Yes and roll to see if you can actually do that triple backflip down the cliff to mount the attacking phoenix...' - It's okay to make them fail, just don't tell them no. This guide is to help you be 1 step ahead of the players but it can't know the vibe of the room, have some empathy and play to the crowd.

Ending

No one can tell you this. The guide is to help you get 1/3 of the adventure set up and the rest will be created by the adventuring party. Have fun with it and try to tie up some loose ends at the end (or don't and bring them back for another adventure).